Lessons Learned
by mistyhaze420
Summary: Jasper and Edward become the best of friends through similar tragic events in their lives. Edward, the geeky messed up kid, soon starts getting some lessons from bad boy, Jasper on how to fit in...What will E end up teaching him? E/J Slash AH Mature
1. Chapter 1

**Okay guys, this is my first attempt at slash. I wanna let you know however, that my story begins with the boys at the innocent young age of 13. I read a lot of fics that talk about how they had been best friends before becoming more but I wanna show the relationship between them. I will also say that I am a fan of movies like Thirteen and Kids so my youngsters will be portrayed in a grittier manner. I'll do a few chapters of them as they grow up so you can see how their relationship progresses. Let me know what you think and I hope you guys enjoy!**

**BTW-this is an all human fic and I will alternate between Jasper and Edward's POV.**

**Song Playlist: Creep by Radiohead, Use Somebody by Kings of Leon, and In the City by Kevin Rudolf **

**Edward's POV**

I looked into the bathroom mirror and took in the image in front of me. Dull, lifeless green eyes showcased by dark purple bags underneath…messy, weird bronze hair that had a mind of its own…pale, fragile skin that hasn't seen much daylight in its 13 years on this earth. A plain, dull, weird, skinny 13 year old boy looked back at me from the mirror in disgust.

Truth be known, I was fine with my current situation…it was everyone else who seemed to worry about me. Reclusive…introverted…socially awkward… loser…weirdo…all good adjectives that have been used to describe me at one time or another. Doctors called it Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome…my peers had many different names for it.

My poor parents…they tried so hard to help me. I know that when they adopted me 5 years ago, they had thought they could fix me. They thought that I could be that picture perfect son for them…I hated that I was such a disappointment. They never told me that, of course. Carlisle and Esme Cullen were themselves, picture perfect. Dad was the head surgeon for the local Hospital in our town. My mother was an interior designer before they moved here to the dreary little town of Forks, Washington. She gave up her dreams and career to relocate to a nice "normal" small town for the sake of her messed up adopted son. They thought this small town would do me good but the last two years here have been nothing more than hell on earth for me.

I blended more easily into the background when we lived in Chicago. Here, I stuck out like a sore thumb. It started out as simple teasing and taunting but quickly grew into physical taunts and bullying. Now the kids just pretty much pretended I didn't exist and I preferred it that way.

It was the first day of summer vacation before middle school began. I decided to go to the kitchen to get an apple when I heard my mom's sobs. I walked by my father's study and saw that it had been left open a crack. I knew I shouldn't eaves drop but I heard my mother cry, "What are we going to do, Carlisle? We've lived here for two years and he doesn't have a single friend. His birthday is in a week and I don't know one single person to invite. The school is worried about him. They want to send him to a special school…"

I heard my dad sigh, "I don't know, darling. If things don't improve this summer then we'll have to look into a special school or some sort of mental treatment facility."

My breath caught in my throat…_I don't want to leave…I like Carlisle and Esme, they have always been good to me…_

I slowly backed away from the door and soon found myself locked in the bathroom staring into the mirror.

_What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just fit in?_

I opened the doors underneath the sink and felt around to find the razor blade that I had taped to the inside of it.

_Just one small cut will help it feel better…_

I slumped against the door and pulled up the sleeve of my long sleeved t-shirt. I looked at the faint scars and scratches and shuddered at the look of it.

_I am such a monster…no wonder everyone thinks I'm a freak…_

I dragged the tip of the razor just slightly against my arm as I felt that familiar pain that caused my immediate relief. I lay there for a few minutes as a thin line of blood trails down my arm. After a few minutes, I cleaned the razor blade and stuck it back where I got it. I cleaned up my arm and pulled my sleeve back down.

I walked out of the bathroom determined to try and ease my parents mind. I went to my dad's office and knocked. "Come in, son."

I stuck my head in and smiled as best I could, "Um…I was thinking I might go down to the park and see if there are any kids there."

The smile on my mom's face was enough for me to push the misery away and actually force myself to go outside. It's not that I had anything against being outside…I just didn't see the point.

"Okay, honey. Be back in time for dinner…um, feel free to bring a friend by for dinner too if you want."

I smiled, "Sure, mom."

I backed out and trudged downstairs. Great…I look like even more of a freak because I was wearing a long sleeved white t-shirt with a pair of basketball shorts in 85 degree weather. But I had to wear the long sleeves and it's not like anyone will actually speak to me anyway.

I walked out of my house and down the long drive. The sun was hot on my legs and face and I hated squinting from it. I walked down the street until I came to the small housing community. I took a deep breath and rounded the corner to the park.

I saw some of the boys I went to school with playing basketball.

_I promised my mom I'd try…_

I shoved my hands in my pocket and slowly walked by, not daring my eyes to leave the ground in front of me.

I walked by three times before I got the nerve to look up and speak to them.

Big mistake…the moment I looked up, I saw a basketball coming straight at my face. It hit me hard in the nose causing me to stumble and fall in front of everyone. The laughter that followed was even worse than the hit I took.

"What a fag! You can't come to our park, Cullen! Run along home and cry pussy boy!" Tyler, Eric, and Mike's laughter haunted me. Then I heard Bella, "Leave the kid alone…it's not his fault he's such a freak." More laughter.

I stood up, holding my nose that was now bleeding slightly, and I ran away.

I stopped crying in front of them last year. By then I was used to it and I wouldn't dare let them see me cry anymore. I ran off into the woods to do my crying. I wandered and cried until the tears had finally stopped coming.

When I noticed that the sun was high in the middle of the sky, I figured I better try and find my way home. I had no idea where I was. I kept walking until I finally saw some streets and houses peeking from the other side of the trees.

I stepped out of the woods and quickly found a sidewalk. I had no idea where I was but Forks was a small enough town that it shouldn't be too difficult to find my way home.

I walked for awhile and when I rounded a corner I saw him. He was the epitome of everything I wasn't. He looked to be about my age but his skin was tan and he had golden curls that hung loosely around his face. It was matted slightly from sweat as I watched him take a shot. The basketball went through the hoop with an impressive swoosh…_great, he's good at sports too._

He was by himself in a driveway of an old house. He was using an old basketball hoop with not much netting left. He had on a plain white t shirt and sky blue basketball shorts. He was barefooted. I continued walking by him on the other side of the street. I was trying not to be weird and stare at him but I couldn't help it. He was what I would never be. Perfect and normal.

But as I sneaked a sideways glance I was met with the most perfect blue eyes I had ever seen. Even from across the street I could see the sky blue orbs shimmering. He smiled, "Wanna play some ball?" I noticed he had a southern twang to his voice and I quickly looked behind me because there was no way _this _kid was talking to me.

He laughed, "Yeah, I'm talkin to you, kid. The one with the cool hair."

That caught my attention and my eyes snapped back to him, "Um…me?"

He laughed again, "Yeah, you. Wanna play some ball?"

I slowly walked across the street feeling extremely anxious. It was obvious that this kid was new in town and didn't know about me yet. I'm sure as soon as he spoke to me for a minute, he would be making an excuse to go inside the house and away from me.

I ran a hand through my messy hair and studied the ground, "Um…I don't really know how to play, " I said quietly.

"I could teach ya, if ya want?" he ducked his head down and smiled, "What's so interesting about the ground?"

I raised my head and couldn't help but smile. His wide dimpled smile was infectious, "Okay I guess…you could teach me but I'm sure I won't be as good as you are."

He shrugged, "Hell man I use to suck at basketball. It just takes practice. Everybody sucks at first."

He held out his fist for me to bump…like I had seen so many of the other kids do.

"I'm Jasper."

I bumped his fist and said, "Edward."

He started laughing, "Shit, dude, we both have some old messed up names. I'm gonna call you Eddie or E. You can call me Jay."

He was making it kind of easy for me to smile. I was starting to feel somewhat comfortable talking to him.

He taught me the right way to dribble and how to shoot a free throw. He didn't make fun of me when I messed up or fell down. After a couple of hours we were sweating and laughing. "See dude, you're not that bad. A few more months and you'll be as good as me."

I laughed but didn't say anything. Then he looked up and said, "Eddie, I'm gonna go and make a sandwich or something. Want one?"

I looked at my watch and realized that I should be getting home for dinner.

"Um…I actually have to go home for dinner."

He sighed, "Oh…okay. Wanna come over tomorrow?"

_He actually wants to hang out with me again…_

I tried my best to look at him and not at the ground as I spoke but I was very nervous, "Do you want to have dinner at my house? My mom said it'd be okay if I brought home a friend."

_Please say yes…don't make me feel stupid…_

He threw the basketball in his front yard and slipped on his shoes, "Hell yeah, dude. A home cooked meal beats the hell out of a baloney sandwich."

He fell in step beside me as we started walking. Then I asked, "Um…Jay, don't you have to tell your parents where you're going?"

He started laughing, "Pfst…no. They don't give a shit where I go just as long as I don't bother them."

Then I realized that I still didn't know where I was. "Hey, um…what street is this?"

He looked at me funny, "You don't know what street you're on?"

I shook my head, "No…I came from the woods. I was just kind of wandering around."

He smiled, "Oh, well we're at the corner of 1st and Adams St."

I nodded in relief, "Okay, good. Let's go this way then."

We continued walking and talking…well he talked mostly and I listened. I went the long route so that I could avoid running into kids that knew me. I had a good thing going and I wasn't ready to give up my new friend quite yet.

I found out that he just moved up here from Texas with his mom and her boyfriend. His dad was a Marine and he only saw him once or twice a year. He was an only child, like me.

When we started walking up my driveway he stopped and gasped, "Shit, dude! You live here?"

I just nodded and he looked around in awe. We walked up the steps and I opened the door and showed him in. He looked around and whispered, "Jesus, Eddie, this place is a freakin mansion."

I just smiled and quietly said, "Um…I guess I should introduce you?" It came out as a question because my nerves were so bad.

_This is a bad idea…this is your house…your domain and he's going to find out too much about you and run away…_

He laughed, "You're awfully twitchy, Edward. Calm down, dude. It's just dinner."

He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. It relaxed me immediately and I just shook my head and smiled, "Come on, I'll introduce you."

He followed me into the kitchen. My mom was standing there cutting up vegetables. She didn't look up from cutting when she said, "Hey honey, how did things go today?"

I cleared my throat and she looked up, "Oh!"

_Well the excited grin spread across her face couldn't make it any more evident of what a loser I am…look how excited she is that I brought a kid home…_

"Um…mom, this is Jasper. You said I could have someone over for dinner, right?"

She smiled and quickly washed her hands, "Of course, baby."

_Baby…gee, thanks mom._

Jasper gave me a sideways smirk. And my mom smiled, "It's so nice to meet you, Jasper. How do you and Edward know each other?"

_Yep…this was a bad idea…_

I could feel my face turning red and once again, he placed his hand on my shoulder and I started calming down. He smiled at my mom, "We met today. He was walking by my house and I asked him to play basketball with me."

She looked shock, "Edward, you played basketball?"

_Groan…_

Jasper laughed, "Yeah, he's pretty good, Mrs. …" he trailed off and my mom said, "Cullen, dear. But you can call me Esme."

Jasper smiled, "I'll never remember that…can I just call you Mrs. C?"

She laughed, obviously smitten by him, "That would be fine, dear. Now you boys go get cleaned up. Edward, your dad will be here in about twenty minutes and we'll start dinner then."

I nodded and quickly left the kitchen with Jasper following behind. Once we got in the hallway I turned and muttered, "Sorry, my mom's a little…

He smiled, "Dude, your mom's the shit! She seems to really love you and she cooks…your mom rocks, dude."

_He says dude a lot…it's kinda cute…_

Then he tugged on my elbow when I turned away from him. I turned back around and his baby blue eyes were penetrating mine, "Hey, Eddie? You need to change your shirt…you've got blood on it."

_Shit! My nose and my stupid arm…he probably thinks I'm a freak!_

"Uh…I…" I stammered as my heart began to beat wildly.

He smiled, "C'mon, let's go to your room."

I turned away and led him up the stairs to my room. I gulped nervously before I opened the door. I walked in and he followed me.

"Damn, Eddie! Your room is the size of my whole house!" he looked around and immediately walked over to my CD collection, "Man, you've got a lot of music. I love music…it's my biggest passion. I play the guitar a little bit… "

Then he turned and smiled at my piano, "Piano, huh? That's cool, you can play for me sometime and I'll play for you."

I grabbed another long sleeve shirt and stepped inside my bathroom. I looked at the boy in the mirror and saw that he got a little sun today. I quickly changed my shirt and walked back out to my room. Jasper was lying on my bed. He was on his back and his hands were folded behind his head. His eyes were closed but he must've heard me because he said, "This is the most comfortable bed I have ever laid on. You're really lucky, Edward."

I just stood there frozen as I watched him. He was just so naturally confident and sure of himself…of course, if I was like him, I would be to.

He leaned up on his elbows and asked, "Can I use your bathroom so I can clean up my hands?"

I nodded but still seemed unable to speak. As he started to walk by me, he put his hands on my shoulders and spoke quietly, "Edward? Whenever you're ready to talk…I'll listen. But please don't feel like you _have _to talk." Then he dropped his hands and grinned, "I can talk enough for the both of us."

I laughed quietly as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

A few minutes later my mom called us for dinner. We sat around the table with Jasper sitting across from me.

My dad walked in and held his hand out to Jasper, "It's good to meet you, Jasper. I'm Edward's dad, Carlisle…but you can call me Mr. C. if that's easier," he said with a laugh. Jasper grinned and took his hand and gave it a shake, "It's good to meet you, Mr. C. Thanks for having me to dinner."

Mom had made salad, lasagna, and cheesy garlic bread. We ate and talked as Jasper dazzled my parents with stories of his childhood in Texas. He had lived on a farm with his grandma until he was 6...that's when his mom and new boyfriend showed up. He said they had moved quite a lot over the past few years but he was hoping that they'd stay put here for a little while. He talked about how he use to help his grandma with the animals just so he'd have an excuse to play with them. He loved to ride horses. We all hung on his every word and he was so charismatic and funny that you couldn't help but be completely charmed by him. His blue eyes sparkled as he spoke.

The sound of thunder pulled my mother's attention away from the dinner table. She went to the window and pulled back the blinds, "Oh honey, there's a nasty storm outside. I think we should drive you home."

He smiled a weak smile and spoke softly, "Yes, ma'am."

Lightening crashed outside and the house shook as all the lights flickered once…twice…and then darkness. Everyone was eerily quiet and then my dad spoke out through the darkness, "Hmmm…maybe we should just call his mother and see if he can stay the night. That is, if you'd like to stay, son."

I could see Jasper's wide grin even in the darkness, "Yeah I'd love too, Mr. C. If it's okay with Eddie?"

I smiled at him…even though it made me nervous as hell to have him stay the night…I didn't want him to stop being so happy. When he was happy, it sort of helped me be happy. "Yeah, Jay. That's cool."

My mom grabbed her cell phone as my dad excused himself to get some candles. "What's your phone number, honey?"

Jasper looked down at the ground and mumbled, "You really don't have to call her…she won't care if I stay."

My mom laughed, "Nonsense, Jasper. I _have _to call your mother."

He sighed and gave her the number. I watched as his head continued to hang low.

"Hello, Mrs. Whitlock? This is Esme, Edward's mom…"

"Edward is a friend of your son…Jasper…"

"No…I don't need to talk to him, he's here at my house eating dinner…no, I'm quite sure he's sitting here at my kitchen table…"

"Well with the storm outside, we wondered if he might be able to just stay the night tonight…ok, great…would you like to talk to him…hello?"

She flipped her phone shut and grabbed Jasper's hand, giving it a little squeeze, "Your mom was a little busy, dear but she said that you can stay."

Jasper managed a weak smile, "Thanks."

Dad brought some candles and mom got us all some ice cream and we ate. Jasper was a little quieter but still held a polite conversation with my parents. It turns out that he turned 13 last month so we would be starting school together. That thought delighted and terrified me all at the same time. I liked having Jasper around…at times I almost felt normal. I would laugh or smile and not worry to death about it. So the thought of going to school with him and him seeing what a freak I was, was a very terrifying notion.

After we ate, we carried our dishes to the sink and my mom spoke, "Why don't you boys go get ready for bed and your dad and I will see if we can get the lights fixed. Here take some candles with you and please be careful."

Then she smiled at Jasper and said, "You can borrow some of Edward's clothes to wear tonight, dear and he can get you a new toothbrush from the cupboard. If you need anything at all, just let one of us know. Make yourself at home, Jasper."

He grinned again and I swear he blushed, "Okay, thanks Mrs. C."

We made our way upstairs and to my room. We went inside and set the candles down on my nightstand and dresser. I dug out some pajama pants and t shirts for the both of us…mine was long sleeved. I got him a toothbrush and towel. He took a candle with him to the bathroom. He quickly showered and brushed his teeth.

When he came out of the bathroom I went in and quickly showered and brushed my teeth. When I came out of the bathroom, he was in my bed curled up on his side. His eyes were wide open as I watched him watch the thunderstorm outside. I walked to the bed and grabbed a pillow, "I…um…I'll sleep on my couch…" I pointed to the couch by the window and he laughed as he threw the blanket back, "Dude, it's a king size bed…get in."

So I slowly slid under the blanket, facing away from him. I closed my eyes and silently prayed…

_Dear God please don't let me screw this up…don't let me have a nightmare tonight…_

"Hey Edward," Jasper whispered. "Um…yeah?" I whispered back.

He laughed quietly, "Dude, turn around so I don't have to talk to your back."

I slowly flipped over to my other side and saw him staring intently at me with clear blue eyes.

"Tell me about yourself, Eddie. You know my whole life story and all I know about you is that you have the coolest parents ever, you live in a freakin mansion, and you like music."

_Oh God…I don't know what to say…he's going to think I'm retarded…say something already…_

"Uh…well, um…I…" I stammered and I could feel my heart begin to race and my palms became sweaty. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack.

He leaned up on one elbow and put his hand on my shoulder, "Dude, calm down," he spoke quietly. Once again, this simple act seemed to help me settle down as I started taking deep breaths.

He sighed with a look of concern on his face, "Okay I got an idea, I'll ask you simple questions and you tell me the answer. If you don't wanna answer something, just say 'next'. Cool?"

I nodded and laid my head back down. He smiled, "Have you lived in this town your whole life?"

I shook my head.

"Okay, where else have you lived?"

I looked up at the ceiling, "Um…Chicago until I was 10."

He nodded, "Favorite color?"

I looked at him and smiled, "Blue. What's yours?"

He smiled back at me, "Green. Favorite candy?"

"Um…skittles. What's yours?"

He answered quickly, "M&M's."

The night continued much like this. He'd ask a question and sometimes I would ask one back. We found out each other's favorite movies, bands, and video games. As I became more comfortable, his questions grew more personal.

"Do you remember your birth parents?"

I shook my head and looked at the ceiling, "Um…not really. I can remember voices and smells and sounds but I can't picture their faces."

He was leaning on his elbow on his side staring at me, "So Mr. and Mrs. C. adopted you when you were 8...so where were you from the time in between your birth parents and your adopted ones?"

I shook my head, "Next."

He let out a small sigh and then spoke again, "Why were you crying today before I met you?"

I looked over at him in surprise. He had never mentioned it so I thought he hadn't noticed. "Next."

He let out an exasperated sigh and ran his hand through his blonde curls, "C'mon, dude. It might make you feel better to talk about it. Maybe it's something I can help you with…"

I closed my eyes and shook my head again, "Next."

He sat up and faced me sitting Indian style on the bed. He reached over, grabbed my arm and before I could react he yanked my sleeve up. I tried to struggle and break free but his grip tightened and he spoke over and over again in a whisper, "It's okay, Edward…calm down, everything's okay…"

After a minute of struggling, I lost it and began sobbing like a damn baby. He let go of my arm and I quickly yanked my sleeve down and wrapped my arms around myself. I felt the bed shift as he stood up and went to the bathroom.

A minute later he came back with a glass of water and a wet washcloth. He sat back down on the bed and sat the water on the nightstand. Then he handed me the washcloth so I could wipe my face off.

After a few minutes, I started to calm down. I looked up at him expecting the worst. I was pretty sure that after tonight, he would never want to talk to me again…except maybe to make fun of me.

Instead I was met with tortured blue eyes that glistened from tears that threatened to fall. He took a breath and said, "Why do you do that to yourself?"

I just shook my head, unable to say anything. He ran his hand through his hair and then threw his shirt over his head and to the ground.

I gasped as I saw his chest was covered in scars. He began pointing each one out and telling me how he had got them. My tears still fell but his never did. He had been given some of them when was one his mom's boyfriend's got mad and threw him against a china cabinet causing it to fall and the glass to shatter all over him. Another scar was when he asked his mom for something to drink and she launched a coffee mug at him so hard that it broke. He got burned from the coffee but that has since healed. He had been 7 at the time.

Most of them were from various boyfriend's of his mother's. He said that's why they moved a lot…either his mom would find a new man to run off with or the school's would start to ask questions and she would get scared and leave town. His mom had basically kidnapped him from his grandma when he was six. She snuck into his room in the middle of the night and carried him from his bed to some man's car that was waiting outside. He never saw his grandma again but his mom told him that she had died a couple of years ago.

Once he was done with his story, he gently took my arm and pushed up the sleeve again, "So now are you gonna tell me why you did this to yourself?"

He had just trusted me with the most private details of his life…I felt like I had to share mine with him.

I sighed, "It helps to…relieve the pressure, I guess. I'm always so nervous and…I'm always just freaking out about stuff. When I do this…it helps take away my focus from whatever's going on in my head."

"What happened with your parents? Why were you adopted?"

I ran my hand through my hair and flopped backwards onto my pillow. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, "Um…I don't really remember much about them. I remember being scared and I wasn't ever allowed to speak. They were horribly abusive, from what I've been told but I really only remember our last night together. My dad was messed up in the head and my mom was too scared of him to leave. He…um…one night he was having some schizo episode and thought my mom was trying to leave him…so he grabbed a kitchen knife and…he slaughtered her in front of me. He looked over at me and said that he was the devil and he was taking us both to hell with him. He threw me in the trunk of his car and drove me to the woods. When we got there, he beat the shit out of me. Then his mood switched and he started holding me and rubbing my hair, telling me how much he loved me. He wanted to show me how much he loved me…"

I shuddered at the memory of whiskey laced breath on my neck and manic ramblings of love followed by mind numbing pain.

Jasper's eyes shut and I saw a few tears slide down his cheek.

"I blacked out shortly after that but I was told that some hunters found us and saw what he was doing…they shot him. I don't remember all of the details of everything that followed but I went to a children's home and began intense counseling, treatments…that was after I got out of the hospital. Anyway, it was really hard because I barely knew how to speak. I stayed there for almost three years until Carlisle and Esme adopted me. Countless couples had been interested in me until they learned of my past…then they realized I was too damaged and they didn't want that kind of problem."

He looked up into my eyes and sniffled, "Is that why you were crying today?"

_At this point I might as well tell him everything…_

I shook my head, "No…um…you see, the story made the papers all over the country. And soon, the kids at school had found out and they started messing with me. Carlisle and Esme moved us here to get away from the bullying but things are even worse for me here. The kids tease me about being adopted…and they learned about my past. Some of the kids are relentless. I have no friends…everybody hates me. They think I'm a freak. Today I was trying to make my mom happy because I overhead them talking about how the school is starting to worry about my anti-social behavior. I don't want to go to another hospital or treatment center. So I went to the park and a couple of the boys hit me in the face with a basketball and started calling me names in front of everyone. That's when I went into the woods and stumbled across you."

Jasper put his shirt back on and he reached across the bed and pulled me into a hug. I was stiff at first but soon felt completely relaxed and safe.

He pulled away and I could see the blue in his eyes darken. He said, "Edward, everyone is fucked up…it's just that some people are better at hiding it than others. I've been in ten different schools in the last six years and the first four were horrible. By the fifth, I had found ways to change my image…make people think that there's nothing wrong with me. My mom says I'm a master bullshitter. I think it's more of a survival mechanism. By the 7th school, I knew how to easily manipulate everyone around me. I'm gonna help you, Edward. I'm gonna teach you how to hide it. By the end of the summer, you're gonna be the coolest kid in this stupid little town."

I furrowed my brows, "Why would you do that?"

He frowned, "Well, like I said, Eddie, I can show you how to _appear _to fit in but I can't actually make you fit in…it will be an act. And I don't know about you…but it would be really nice to have one friend that I didn't have to pretend around. Someone who actually knows the real me."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, "You really want to be friends with me?"

He smiled with that wide grin, "Yeah. Best friends, dude. Now, first things first. Tomorrow we're gonna go to the park and you're gonna point out the assholes that messed with you today. Then I'm gonna show you how we handle jerks like that in Texas…"

I got worried, "Jay, there's usually three of them and I don't know how to fight."

He laughed, "Dude, trust me. You don't have to be the strongest or fastest to win a fight…you just have to be the smartest. My Marine daddy taught me good. Don't worry, Eddie, things are gonna start getting a whole lot better for you. I promise."

And something in his smile convinced me that he was telling the truth.

We talked for a little while longer before falling asleep. I slept like a baby.

The next morning I woke up first but when I got out of the bed, he started stirring. We went down and ate breakfast and he kept complimenting my mom on her cooking. He sure did know how to manipulate people because he had her eating out of the palm of his hand.

After breakfast we went upstairs to get dressed. I told him he could borrow some clothes and he started going through my closet. He was much pickier about his clothes than me. Finally he pulled out a baby blue polo and said, "How much do you like this shirt?"

I shrugged, "I've only worn it once. Why?"

He threw off his t shirt and pulled on the polo, "Because it's probably gonna get messed up today."

I looked over at him, "Then why don't you just wear a t shirt or something?"

He laughed, "Because you always gotta look good, Edward. I want all eyes on me when I whoop them boys asses." He pulled out a green button up shirt and threw it at me, "Here, put this on."

I pulled a white long sleeved t-shirt on and left the green shirt unbuttoned. I threw on a pair of jeans and thanked God that it was a little overcast and cool today.

Jasper had pulled on some jean shorts. We both walked in the bathroom and brushed our hair.

Then we told my mom that we were going to go to the park and she was beyond happy.

When I closed the front door behind me he asked me if we had a basketball. I found one in the garage that had never been used. We started walking to the park and he was having me practice dribbling.

He started walking backwards in front of me, "Look at me, Eddie. The ground ain't gonna disappear when you're not looking."

I lifted my eyes and tried to focus on him as I continued dribbling. He smiled, "See? You're doing great, dude. You gotta quit staring at the ground all the time. You've got amazing eyes, Edward…you need to use them to your advantage."

I just laughed and we kept walking. Once we rounded the corner, he was standing next to me again. I heard Mike yell out, "Hey look! Cullen's got a new boyfriend!" Then laughter.

Jasper looked at me, "Those three?"

I nodded and he said, "Alright, give me the basketball."

I gave him the ball and he tucked it under his arm as he started walking over to them. Tyler, Mike, and Eric stood in the middle of the basketball court now and everyone's heads turned as Jasper walked up. As he was walking Tyler yelled, "Aww…he's coming to defend his…" And then Jasper launched the ball at his face.

It smacked him hard and sent him to the ground. While Mike and Eric looked at their friend in shock…everyone started chanting "Fight! Fight!"

Jasper quickly leapt across the remaining distance between him and the other two and landed a sucker punch to Eric's jaw, sending him to the ground. Mike threw a wild punch at him, which he easily dodged to the left and then came back with a left hook.

The three boys lay on the ground bleeding and everyone around us was in awe. Jasper bent down over Mike and grabbed him by the shirt. He growled, "If you or any of your little pussy friends ever so much as think about fucking with me or Edward again…I'm coming after _you_. If you or your friends get your older brothers to come after me or you get a wild hair up your ass and decide to jump me…I'm coming after _you_. So you better keep your friend's in check or it's your ass. If you think you got balls enough…then fuckin test me and find out that I mean every word I say. Do you understand me?"

Mike nodded as fresh tears went down his cheek. Jasper smirked and grabbed my basketball. He bent over and used Tyler's shirt to wipe the blood off then stood up and walked over to me, "C'mon, Eddie."

The girls around us were giggling and whispering. As we started to walk away, Lauren called out, "Hey…what's your name?"

Jasper handed me the ball and whispered, "Watch and learn…"

He turned around with a grin on his face as we walked over to her. He reached up and ran his finger down her jaw and drawled out, "Well, pretty girl, you wanna know my name? Guess."

She bit her lip, "Guess? But…"

He shrugged and turned away, "If you don't wanna know who I am enough to guess…"

She shouted, "Wait! Um…uh…David?"

He smirked, "Sorry darlin. You can try again tomorrow if you want."

Then he turned and walked away. Once he reached me, we started walking and I whispered, "Jay! Those girls wanted to talk to you…why didn't you…"

He put his arm around my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Always leave them wanting more, dude."

As I heard the whispers and giggling as we walked away, I knew without a doubt that Jasper was right when he said that things were going to get a whole lot better for me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews and alerts and stuff. I really appreciate them all. Some of you may love this chapter…others may think it's too much but please keep in mind that I forewarned you that I would be writing these guys in a more realistic manner. That means that they aren't always gonna do the right things and be perfect. They will be very flawed…just like grown ups.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy…oh and by the way…I don't own anything Twilight…except the DVD…and the book.**

**Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down, 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins, Wonderwall by Oasis**

**Jasper's POV**

The first time I looked up and saw Edward staring at me, something struck me. He just looked so…lost and lonely. He looked completely broken. I knew that feeling and I could read his emotions easily. But the way that he was looking at me threw me for a loop. He was looking at me like I was golden…perfect…like I mattered. No one ever looked at me like that before until after I worked some Whitlock magic, and even then they weren't seeing the real me…but this kid was looking at me like I was special.

And I really liked it.

Once I started talking to him I could see that he was painfully shy. His eyes were still red and puffy and I just wanted to make him feel better. I had never seen eyes as bright green as his were and I couldn't understand how any girl could look into those eyes and not fall for this kid. When he started to loosen up a bit…I found out that he was really funny and nice.

Then I met his parents and man, they were incredible…like the fucking Brady Bunch. His dad's a doctor and his mom is the nicest woman I had ever met…must be where Edward gets it from. She was a fantastic cook too. I hadn't had a home cooked meal since I lived with my granny.

It was so fuckin embarrassing when his mom called mine. Lord knows where she was or what she was doing. She makes it much harder to keep up a normal image. But at least that dickhead boyfriend of hers didn't answer.

Edward was still being really quiet but that was okay with me. Talking came pretty easy to me. I could go on for hours about mindless crap like a fuckin recording. I was a damn good actor. People usually bought everything I told them…it was always my mom that screwed everything up. I really hoped that she didn't mess this up…

I had seen the scars on his arm when we were playing basketball. His life seemed so perfect, I didn't understand what had happened to him to make him so down on himself. After a few hours of talking and getting Eddie comfortable with me, I started asking the tougher questions.

Normally I wouldn't have give a shit about a "friends" life…but I didn't want to pretend with Edward. I wanted to be his friend for real. And I just didn't want him to stop looking at me the way he did…

When he still wouldn't tell me why he did that to his arms, I decided to jump in head first to this whole 'real friend' thing and told him my life story. I left out a lot of grimy details but I told him the truth…it was the first time I had ever told anyone the truth.

And then he told me everything that had happened to him. God I could practically feel the pain coming from him. It never ceases to amaze me that so many kids are often afraid of fictitious monsters and things that go bump in the night when I have found that the worst monsters usually come in the form of people who are supposed to protect us. It was a bunch of bullshit if you asked me…which no one ever did.

So then when he told me about those little bastards that tormented him…I just wanted to fuck them up. How dare a bunch of snot nosed little punks inflict more pain on someone as good and innocent as Edward was. It pissed me off.

So I decided then and there that I was gonna help Edward the best way I could. I was gonna teach him everything I knew so people would quit fuckin with him. I just didn't want him to hurt anymore…I wanted to be his fuckin hero.

I was excited as hell when we got to the park, although I maintained a cool facade. The stage was set and the three main stars took center stage as the supporting cast stood on the sidelines to watch. Truth is, sometimes I really liked to fight. It made me feel powerful and in control. I couldn't control much else about my life so it gave me that rush that I craved. The only problem was that sometimes I would lose it. Sometimes I got so into it that everything else faded away and all I could see was whatever I was attempting to destroy. That usually ended up with me being dragged away kicking and screaming by several grown ups. But I couldn't lose control in front of Edward. I wanted to him to think I was tough, not crazy.

Unfortunately for me, I struggled with my self control.

Thank God those three kids were pussies. Not one of them even attempted to fight back so I stayed in control the whole fight…which lasted about 45 seconds. I think Edward was impressed…I knew everyone else sure as hell was.

And as predictable as ever, the chicks were eating it up. Don't get me wrong…girls are okay but they mostly just got on my nerves. But my dad always told me how important it is to have a 'pretty little lady' on your arm. He was as big a whore as my mom but at least I didn't have to deal with him.

And my mom always told me that 'I was lucky I was pretty cuz I wasn't good for nothing else.' So yeah, I used my looks to get what I wanted. But with Edward it's not like my looks had anything to do with him liking me so I was gonna have to use whatever else I had…which according to my mama, was absolutely nothing.

Finally we walked up to my house. We had been rambling on about girls and stuff the whole way…like I said before, my mouth could go a mile a minute while my brain was somewhere completely different.

I ran up and shot a basket. I began dribbling and Edward laughed. I looked over at him, "Why ya laughing, dude?"

He pointed at me and said, "You didn't get one drop of blood on you. That shirt is perfectly clean."

I smiled, "Well good, now I can return it to you the way I got it."

He had some funny little crooked grin on his face, "No, Jay, you keep it."

I shook my head, "Edward, I can't keep your shirt."

He was still smiling and looking at me like I was fuckin Superman again…

_Man, I really like that…_

"Seriously, Jasper, please keep it. That was the coolest thing I have ever seen and I can't believe you did that for me. Thank you…and besides, that shirt looks really good on you." He was looking at the ground again so I ducked my head under to look at him and smirked, "It does look really good on me, huh?"

He started laughing and raised his head to look at me, "How are you so cocky like that?"

I shrugged, "Guys like us can afford to be a little cocky, Edward."

He looked confused and said quietly, "Guys like _us_?"

_You've got to be kidding me…_

"Seriously, Edward? You really don't know you're good looking?" I questioned because how could he not know. I mean, I didn't like boys or anything but even I knew when a guy looked good or not.

He had that small crooked smile on his face again and looked up at me, "You think I'm good looking?"

I laughed, "Well it's not like I wanna run off to Vegas and get hitched, Edward but yeah, you're a good looking guy. I'm sure the girls have noticed, they've probably just been too brainwashed to act on it."

He sighed and ran a hand through his messy bronze hair, "I don't really like any of the girls at our school."

I started dribbling and a moment later, we were playing a game. I took it easy on him cuz he was really trying his hardest. While we played I coached him as best I could, "You don't have to like them, dude. But it's important that the girls want you. If the girls want you, the guys will wanna hang out with you because you're attracting all the chicks."

He laughed again and we kept playing.

The next few weeks passed by quickly. Edward and I hung out everyday and I had spent the night over there a few more times. Mrs. C. had finally given up on calling my mom and just told me to stay over whenever I wanted.

It was great. Edward and I would stay up all night talking and playing video games or watching movies. We would raid the kitchen in the middle of the night and they always had food in it. It was awesome.

It turns out that Edward was pretty damn talkative once he broke out of his shell. We practiced him looking me in the eye when he talked. I would see him glance at the ground every now and then but he mostly looked at me. He was doing really great.

I told him that he had to stop cutting himself. I told him that whenever he felt the urge to do it…to call me instead and he could just tell me what was going on in his head so he could get his release that way. He had called me three times and just venting to me had helped. He hadn't cut since the day we met and his cuts were mostly healed and practically gone. I was really proud of him.

And since the scars had faded and I had been helping him dress better…Eddie-boy had slid into his cocky persona pretty damn well. The little fucker was gonna give me a run for my money…

We spent some time at the park a few days a week…not _too _much but enough to keep them all interested. Mike, Eric, or Tyler hadn't ever shown back up there. It was mostly us surrounded by girls. And now, they were starting to take a big interest in my little Edward.

We had been talking to Lauren and Jessica. They were annoying as fuck but looked pretty good and suited our purposes just fine. I internally laughed my ass off watching Edward go to work.

Jessica purred, "Wow, Edward. How did I never notice how cute you were?"

Edward gave her that cocky ass crooked grin and ran his thumb down her jaw. He spoke in a velvet voice, "Hmm…it doesn't matter because you see me now don't you?"

She was fuckin putty in his hands, "Yeah I see you Edward."

I watched as he licked his lips and said, "And you _like _what you see now, don't you?"

She was dazzled into submission, "Yeah Edward. We should totally hang out…like all of us meet at the movies or something tonight. It would be so awesome."

I mentally groaned and I'm sure Edward did the same thing. He smirked and looked over at me. I smirked back and said, "Sorry, ladies, but we're busy tonight." I squeezed Edward's shoulder a bit and said, "C'mon, dude. We got shit to do."

We started to walk away and Lauren yelled out, "What about tomorrow night?"

Edward turned his head and smiled, "Sorry, we've got plans already. But you can ask again sometime if you want."

We laughed our asses off the whole way back to his house.

We ran up to his room and flopped down on his bed, giggling our asses off at how well this corny shit was working.

After we calmed down he sighed, "Jay, have you ever kissed a girl?"

I looked over at him, "Yeah dude. Lots of times. Haven't you ever kissed a girl?"

He shook his head and spoke quietly, "No…this is all new to me and to be honest, I'm scared as hell about it. What if I really suck at it?"

I sat up on my elbow and looked at him. I thought for a minute about how to help him. I could try explaining it but that wouldn't really work.

Finally I took a deep breath and said, "You need to practice, Edward. Practice makes perfect, remember? You need to find someone you trust who will tell you the truth."

He rolled his eyes, "You're the only person I trust and you're a boy so that's not going to work."

I got up and walked to his door and locked it. He looked at me confused and I just shrugged, "You can practice on me if you want?"

I had never been so fuckin nervous in my whole life but I said I would help him in any way that I could. I had never kissed a boy before but it really couldn't be much different than kissing a girl. I knew that my dad would kill me if he ever found out but I certainly intended to never speak of this again.

His face turned red and I smiled as I put my hand on his shoulder, "Calm down, Eddie. Girls practice on their friends all the time. You don't have to if you don't want…but I promise to never tell anyone and I can help you if you suck at it."

He took a minute to calm himself down before looking up at me and whispering, "Really?"

I smiled, "Yeah. It's not a big deal, Eddie. Besides, I'd do anything for you…you're my best friend."

He was still red and he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Um…would it be…the…um…same as kissing a…girl?"

I ducked my head and said quietly, "Edward, look at me."

He lifted his head and I could feel that he was scared. So I figured I'd try to make him laugh, "Yeah, dude. It will be just like kissing Jessica only I'm better looking and will probably do it better."

He started laughing and just shook his head. Then he took a deep breath and he raised his green eyes and said, "Okay."

_Holy shit! I can't believe he agreed to this…_

Great now I was nervous…but a little excited because I liked to try new shit and I had never done this before…sick, I know but, whatever…

And besides, I knew I was a good kisser so that didn't worry me…I guess what worried me was that this was his _first _kiss…my first kiss sucked…I wanted his to be good and like I said before, my self control was not the greatest. I tended to be pretty aggressive when it came to this stuff when it was something I really wanted. I was gonna have to slow it down and take my time. I don't want this to be bad for him…

We were sitting on the edge of his bed, facing each other with one leg underneath us and the other hanging off the edge.

I took a sharp breath and whispered, "I'll kiss you first. I'll go slow and when I think you're ready, I'll deepen the kiss. If you ever wanna stop, Edward, just tell me to stop and I will, okay?"

God he looked like he was gonna pass out from fear.

He needed some confidence so I thought I'd give him a boost. I leaned into his ear and whispered, "I heard that Edward Cullen was the hottest boy in town…" Then I softly dragged my lips across his cheek.

He sucked in a sharp breath as I reached the corner of his mouth. I looked up and saw his green eyes staring at mine. His panicked wide eyes had dulled into a curious gaze. So I kept my eyes on his as I brushed his lips with mine. I wanted him to trust me. I know he said he didn't remember his dad's face so I thought if we looked at each while we kissed for awhile, it might help reassure him that it was okay because it was me and I could never hurt him.

At first he was kinda rigid and unsure…but after a minute he let out a breath that he had been holding and he started kissing me back. His lips were surprisingly soft and really smooth and…that was nice because most of the girls I kissed usually had on that nasty lip gloss crap. I hated that stuff…it always tastes funny and makes their lips all slick…it was always some weird flavor…I mean, I don't wanna taste fruit and bubble gum and all that sweet stuff when I kiss…I wanna taste lips and tongue and breath…I don't wanna taste the person that I'm kissing with artificial sweetener.

And speaking of tasting…Edward had visibly calmed down as his eyes closed and his head tilted just slightly…so I closed my eyes and very slowly I brushed my tongue softly across his bottom lip while I sucked it between my lips gently.

His lips parted and I deepened the kiss. Edward tasted perfect…he tasted fresh and clean and just…real. I slowly started exploring his mouth with my tongue and after a few moments, I felt his tongue pass my lips and taste me.

He was timid at first but after a few minutes, he calmed down and began having more confidence in his movements. And when he loosened up a bit…

_Christ he's really good at this…_

We continued kissing and when I sensed his breathing becoming ragged, I slowly pulled away so that he could breathe.

His eyes opened and instead of the scared unsure look I thought he might have…he looked happy. He was smiling and blushing but just a little bit. I smiled back at him and he whispered, "Um…how was I?"

_Oh yeah, he's just practicing…_

"You did real good, Edward. You've got nothing to worry about," that's what I said but I was thinking…

_That was the best kiss of my entire life and any girl who gets to kiss you better realize just how lucky she is…_

His face lit up even more, "Really?"

I laughed, "Yeah, dude. Really."

He was quiet for a minute but I don't think he felt awkward. I was just trying to control the urge to kiss him again because I really liked it and I wanted more. But I knew that I had to control myself and not let this get out of hand. He was my best friend and I didn't wanna mess his head up.

I started to get off the bed when his hand grabbed my knee and he said, "Wait!"

I sat back down and looked curiously at him. He quickly yanked his hand away and took a deep breath. He ran his hand through his hair and began stammering, "Um…shouldn't I…um…ya know…"

He was absolutely adorable when he got all shy like this but I wanted him to have confidence in himself, so I put my hand on his shoulder and spoke quietly, "It's okay, Edward. Tell me what you want to say."

He closed his eyes for a brief second before lifting his head staring into my eyes, "Practice makes perfect, right? Maybe I should practice more."

I smiled internally…_hell yeah he wants to kiss me again…_

We spent the entire afternoon kissing. It was incredible and fuck me if he isn't the best kisser. I was surprised I was able to keep myself under control and not try to push things further with him because Lord knows I wanted to…

But I did maintain control. When we heard the garage door being opened, he pulled away from me with ragged, shallow breaths. His hair was even messier than usual from where my fingers had been locked in it. I'm sure mine looked the same way.

He jumped up and ran over to his door, unlocking it and turning the knob. He sucked in a deep breath and said, "Uh…want a sandwich?"

I smiled and looked up at the ceiling for a moment before taking a deep breath and getting off the bed, "Yeah. I'm starving. Let's go eat."

So Edward's first kiss ended up lasting a whole afternoon and I think he enjoyed it as much as I did.

We never so much as mentioned it again. Our friendship just continued to grow stronger as the weeks turned into months. Soon we were halfway through the first semester at Forks Middle School. Edward and I were the most popular boys in our class. We finally agreed to a date at the movies with Jessica and Lauren.

Edward's mom dropped us off and we met them there. It didn't take long for Lauren to attack my mouth and Jessica quickly followed suit with Edward the moment the lights were off.

As I was kissing Lauren, my mind was elsewhere. In fact, almost every time I had kissed a girl, my mouth was on autopilot while my mind roamed free. The only person I ever actually concentrated my efforts on was Edward. I had wanted to kiss him again on several occasions but I never let myself give in to the temptation.

I opened my eyes and saw Edward looking at me while he was kissing Jessica. He had a scared look in his eye and he was rigid. This was his first kiss with a girl and Jessica didn't look like she was very good at it. The girls eyes were closed and they were both completely into what we were doing.

So I reached out my arm out between us and slid my hand up his back until it rested on the small of his back. The skin of his back was so hot on my hand and I started rubbing small circles with my thumb. He calmed down almost immediately and relaxed into the kiss.

Once the movie was over and the girls got picked up by Lauren's mom, me and Edward were waiting for his mom to pick us up.

I nudged Edward in the shoulder and said, "So, dude, how was it?"

He grimaced, "You were right when you said that you were probably better at it."

I laughed. It was the first time either of us had mentioned that kiss and I was glad that I was better at it than Jessica. I wasn't jealous or anything…I wanted Edward to have all these normal experiences that boys are supposed to have. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that secretly I wanted to be the best kiss he had.

We went out with Jessica and Lauren maybe once every couple of months. Enough to keep them interested but not too much to drive us crazy or make them think that we were serious about them.

7th grade passed without a hitch and the summer came again. Edward and I both turned 14. His mom and dad celebrated my birthday with me. They were great. Everything was ladi-fuckin-da with my mom and her boyfriend so we had stuck around for awhile. I was thankful because I really like it here.

The summer was great. Edward and I had a few other guys we hung out with every now and then but we mostly hung out together. I taught him to how to fight and he taught me how to read music. We spent a lot of time playing music. He loved it when I played my guitar and sang. His favorite song of the moment was Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down so I learned it and played it for him. And he was incredible on the piano. The guy was a fuckin genius. If I was having a bad day with my mom or something, he would play something for me and it would calm me down.

8th grade started much like 7th. Edward and I weren't talking to Lauren and Jessica anymore…now we were talking to Maria and Tanya. It worked out pretty good because they were freshman so they went to the high school. Which means we generally only had to see them once or twice a week.

Winter break came fast and I was a little bummed because Edward and his mom and dad left town for a week to visit family of Carlisle's in Chicago.

I hated the holidays. Christmas depressed the shit out of me. The one year I remember actually having a tree was ingrained in my memory. I was eight years old and one of my mom's boyfriend's, Ray, I think his name was…anyway, he put up an old artificial tree and let me decorate it. It was actually one of the nice things I remembered. But my mom came home in a drunken stupor and accused him of fucking around with me. He never actually did although several of my mom's boyfriend's have in the past. My mom was a magnet for perverts and assholes…probably because she was so fuckin messed up all the time.

She threw her boot at him but she missed and it hit me in the face. And you would think that when a mom accuses a boyfriend of messing around with her 'baby boy', she would take the child with her when she left. My mom didn't. She went straight to the bathroom and caked more makeup on her face. Then she stumbled into the living room and started for the door. I grabbed her arm and asked her where she was going. She shoved me backward into the tree, knocking it to the ground as all the ornaments broke. She said she was going to Hell.

Ray helped me get cleaned up and cleaned up the mess from the tree, then he told me that he was sorry but he couldn't stay there anymore. He left in the middle of the night. The next morning was Christmas. So I got up and made myself a baloney sandwich and a glass of water because the milk was spoiled. I sat on the couch and watched cartoons. My mom didn't come home until the next day. And sadly, that was the best Christmas I had since I had been with her.

So I laid in bed for two days while Edward was gone. I didn't sleep or eat…I just laid there and thought. I thought about any and everything. My thoughts usually rattled off at a mile a minute and never focused on one thing too long. The only thought that seemed to stick with me was Edward. He was the only person I trusted completely and even though he knew the real me who slept on a mattress on the floor and used a milk crate as a nightstand, he never judged me or made me feel bad. In fact, he still looked at me like I was Superman.

I had taken a couple of my mom's Xanax and was washing it down with a swallow of Vodka when I heard a tap at my window.

I looked with eyes half glazed over and saw Edward standing there with a Santa hat on. I started laughing hysterically because his cheeks were all pink and then I realized…_dumbass, it's cold out there, let him in._

I jumped up and stumbled across the room. I unlocked the window and threw it open. It was cold as shit and I jumped back instinctively as he jumped in. I was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. My house was a one story so it was easy for him. He turned around and shut the window.

He turned back around and I started laughing again. He had a silly grin on his face and he laughed, "Merry Christmas, Jay. Have you been naughty or nice?"

I kept laughing and laid back down on my bed. He took off his hat, coat, gloves, and boots and sat down across from me on the floor. Once I stopped laughing, I sighed, "Hmm…well, Santa, I've probably been a little more naughty than nice…but I like to think I'm both."

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. I glanced at the clock behind him and then my clouded brain caught notice, "Edward, it's almost 2 o'clock in the morning. What are you doing here?"

He smiled, "It's Christmas and you're my best friend. Where else should I be?"

I laid my weary head back down on the pillow. Those pills and vodka were starting to really take effect. "When did you get back, Eddie?"

I closed my eyes and tried to keep my thoughts together as he spoke. "Um…we just got back a few hours ago. I slept on the plane and was wide awake so I thought I'd sneak out and come see you. Besides, I come bearing gifts."

I looked over at him and everything was hazy except for those eyes. They were bright and stood out in the darkness of my room. "Edward…please tell me you didn't get me something for Christmas, man…"

Everything shifted out of focus a bit and I laid my head back down. I felt the mattress shift as he sat next to me, "Yeah," he whispered, "It's not a big deal…it's just something I thought you could use."

He handed me a small box and I fumbled with the paper. This was the first gift I had gotten in a long time and I didn't even get him anything. I felt like shit but also…kind of special.

When I opened the box, I lifted my hooded eyes to his bright green ones, "This is too expensive…"

He got me an Ipod. He shrugged, "It wasn't that expensive, you know I get a decent allowance and besides…you need something to listen to. You don't have a stereo and I know you love music as much as I do. I'd go crazy without something to listen to…"

I sat up on my elbow and tried to focus, "You shouldn't have done this…you know I can't get you anything."

He put his hand on my shoulder and sighed, "Jasper, you've already given me everything. I have a life now. I'm happy. That's worth more than anything. So just take the damn thing and quit bitching about it."

I laughed and I could see his smirk. "Thanks, Edward."

"You're welcome. I went ahead and downloaded a bunch of music on it. I know what you like so I think I got all your favorites but if there's something you want, just let me know."

_Of course you did…because you're absolutely perfect…_

I saw him shiver and then noticed that the snow from his hair had melted. There was a laundry basket with clean clothes I had washed by my bed so I reached for a towel and handed it to him. He took it and began drying his crazy hair.

I reached over and grabbed the bottle of vodka, "Merry Christmas, Eddie. This should warm you up."

He took the bottle and whispered, "What's this?"

I leaned back up on my elbows, "Vodka."

"You're drinking?"

I smiled because yeah I was drinking but the pills were probably more dominant than the alcohol, "Yeah. A little bit."

He looked at me and seemed to be hesitant, then I gained my senses and realized I shouldn't have done that. Edward didn't need this shit.

"Never mind, Eddie. Just let me get my boots and coat and I'll walk you home. It's really late and you gotta be tired.," I started to get off the mattress when his hand grabbed my arm, "Wait…um…I am kind of tired and I don't think I want to walk home right now. How about you set your alarm clock for 5:00 am. That way I can stay and hang out awhile but get a couple hours of sleep too before going back home. My parents aren't working tomorrow so they'll sleep until at least 8 am."

_Well shit…how can I argue with that…_

I sighed, "Okay, Edward but I'm only gonna pour you a couple of shots." I poured him a small shot. I didn't like this…at all.

Luckily he started coughing immediately and squeaked out, "Christ that shit's nasty."

I laughed and put the lid back on the bottle. I pulled the blanket back and said, "C'mon, dude, I know you're cold. Do you want some clothes to change into?"

I noticed his clothes were a little wet from the snow and I'm sure his jeans weren't comfortable.

"Um…yeah."

I grabbed him a pair of sweat pants, a long sleeve t-shirt, and some socks. He quickly changed in the darkness since I didn't have a bathroom attached to my bedroom. Then he crawled under the blanket and let out a deep sigh. I smiled, "Better?"

He laughed softly and I could tell he was tired, "Yeah. Thanks, Jay."

We were laying on our sides looking at each other. He was still all flushed from the cold.

"So, how was your Christmas, Edward? Did you have fun with your family?" I hoped he had because mine had sucked…up until he showed up anyway.

He sighed, "No not really. I mean, I do good with my mom and dad but with that many aunts and uncles and cousins…I just…can't handle it by myself."

I sat up on my elbow, "What do you mean?"

He turned to lay on his back, "I don't know how to explain it without sounding weird."

I sighed, "Then just say it the best way you can and if it sounds weird…so what? Everyone's weird."

He took a breath and said, "Well, it's just…like…I don't know how to…feel things without you around. When we're together I can kind of feed off of whatever vibe you're throwing out. So on my own…everything just gets jumbled and I don't know how to handle it so I either freak out or shut down."

He slowly slid his arm out…

_Shit…_

I lifted his sleeve and saw bright red scratches and scars down his arm again. I sighed, "Why didn't you call me?" He spoke softly, "Long distance."

I nodded and pulled his sleeve back down. "It's okay, Edward. I wish I could've helped you but at least it's winter so the long sleeves will hide it until they heal. Don't worry yourself about it…everybody messes up once in awhile."

He smiled a weak smile, "How is it you can always calm me down?"

I shrugged, "I don't know but you do it for me too. I took Xanax with the vodka before you came over. I don't even remember taking it until I had already done it."

He sighed, "Do you feel okay?"

I yawned, "Yeah, just tired. I haven't slept much."

He smiled and closed his eyes, "Me neither. Night, Jasper."

"Night, Edward."

I quickly set my alarm clock and laid back down. My mind was dizzy at this point and soon I fell asleep.

Much too soon, the damn alarm clock was blaring. I reached over and smacked it then wrapped my arms back around Edward and nuzzled my nose to his cheek. Then I realized that I had wrapped my arms around Edward and was nuzzling my nose to his cheek!

_Good God what the fuck did I do now…_

His sleepy eyes parted for just a second before he moved his head and brushed his lips across mine. My eyes opened half way and I saw his do the same thing. I guess we were both making sure that the other one was awake too and fully aware of what we were getting ready to do.

He puckered his soft lips against mine and his warm hand slid up my arm and into my hair. I gripped the back of his t-shirt at the hem where my arm was wrapped around him. I fisted it and pulled him closer to me. My other hand went to the nape of his neck and my fingers twisted in the hair there.

The soft gentle kisses continued for a few minutes…I was determined that I was not going to be the one to push this further. If he showed me he wanted more…then I would give him more.

I felt his tongue slide across my bottom lip and when I parted my lips, he gently tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth. I couldn't help the groan that escaped my lips…

_Fuck…he's gotten even better at this…_

He had leaned over top of me and pushed me back down onto the mattress. He kept his body held off mine but he kissed me much more aggressively than I had ever seen him kiss a girl. And I had never been kissed like how he was kissing me. So I let him have control of it …for awhile anyway. Our hands pulled at hair and t-shirts but we never went any further.

And I was fuckin putty in Edward Cullen's hands…

After awhile my aggressive nature kicked in and I began pushing him back until he was flat on his back. I was completely lost to this now. We kissed like that for awhile and finally I moved to his neck as he raked in a sharp breath and then he made this really long low growling noise…it raised the hair on the back of my neck and it took every ounce of self control I had to not press myself into him. But I was good and just continued sucking and kissing his neck and jaw and ear.

Then he groaned, "Shit.. it's 6:30, Jay. I have to go home."

I reluctantly pulled away with a groan. Now that I was no longer submerged into the goodness that is Edward Cullen…I had a headache and my body was sore from lying in bed for two days. I looked up and saw it was still dark outside and snowing.

_Man I hate the fuckin cold…_

I stood up and helped him up. I pulled on a hoodie and grabbed my boots. Edward whispered as he pulled on his hoodie over his t-shirt, "You can go back to bed, Jay."

I shook my head and yawned, "No way man. It's still dark outside and I'm walking you home."

He furrowed his brows, "I'm a big boy, Jay, I can walk home by myself."

I wasn't in the mood to argue. I knew he was perfectly capable of walking home by his self…but I was walking him home anyway and he knew it.

So I just smiled, "Quit yer bitching and throw me my coat…you're not gonna win this one, man."

He just rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine."

He threw me my coat and he went to the window. I laughed, "Dude? Front door."

"What about your mom?"

"What about her? She hasn't been here for two days…"

Edward looked over at me, "You've been by yourself all Christmas?"

I shrugged, "Yeah. It was a very peaceful holiday for me, just the way I like it."

We left the house and began the walk to his house. This shit was going to suck because it took like a half hour to get there and it was fucking cold outside.

We were both huddled in our coats and after about ten minutes, I huffed, "Jesus Christ Edward, what the hell were you thinking coming out in this shit?"

He shivered but looked over at me and smiled, "I was thinking about you."

I smiled back and decided to quit giving him shit about it. Once we got to the half way mark he stopped, "Go home, Jasper. I can go the rest of the way by myself. That way we have to walk the same distance."

I shook my head and kept walking, "Uh huh…c'mon." He huffed, "Don't be so damn stubborn."

I turned and looked at him, then grabbed his hand and pulled him along, "No. I won't be able to sleep until I see you go inside your house so just c'mon. It's too cold to argue about it."

His hand was really warm in mine so I didn't let it go. It was still dark out so no one would've been able to see. He came along easily and finally we were walking up Edward's driveway.

The sun was finally starting to rise and my eyes felt like they were on fire. We walked around to the side garage door. He entered in the security code and opened the door. He whispered, "Come in the garage for a minute."

I followed him in and he shut the door, "Stay here a minute. I'll be right back."

I nodded and watched him walk into the house. The garage was heated so it was nice and toasty in there. My hands and feet were all tingly from the cold. A couple of minutes later he came back out with a thermos and a scarf. He handed me the thermos and whispered, "Here…it's hot chocolate for the walk back. And here's a scarf to keep your face warm because you're going to be facing the wind on your walk back…"

_God he's absolutely perfect…_

He wrapped the scarf around my neck a couple of times and smiled, "Well, call me when you wake up and we'll hang out."

I nodded and whispered, "Okay, get some sleep. I'll talk to you later."

_I wanna kiss him…I wanna kiss him…fuck, don't kiss him…don't kiss him…_

He smiled, "I will, Jay. See you later."

I turned and opened the garage door and left. I replayed everything over and over again in my head on the walk home. And then all the questions began running through my mind…

_What does this mean? Have things changed between us? Was it gonna take us another year and a half before we talked about what happened? Why does he seem to want this as bad as I do? Did I mess him up when I kissed him the first time? Is this my fault? Is it a bad thing that I want to kiss him?_

By the time I got home, my head was killing me. So I quickly took a hot shower, then popped a couple of Vicoden and went to bed.

**Hopefully you guys are sticking with me…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow! First let me say, thank you so much for the reviews. I am really overwhelmed that I have received so many already for the first two chapters. You guys like me, huh? Cool. Anyhoo, for those of you who have read An Imperfect Love, you know that I tend to go balls to the wall when writing, so things will begin to pick up a bit soon. You've been warned. **

**Now, I hope you enjoy. Thanks again!**

**Playlist: Tangled Up In You - Staind**

**Edward's POV**

I watched him walk away through a window in the garage and I could feel my anxiety pick up with each step that took him further away from me.

_I am in so much trouble…_

I went into the house and ran up to room. I peeled off my clothes and climbed into a hot shower. I sat down and buried my hands into my hair and just let the hot water wash over me.

_Why does he have this affect on me? What's wrong with me? _

I remembered back to my first kiss. I was scared out of my mind but he knew exactly what I needed…

"_I heard that Edward Cullen was the hottest boy in town…" His breath was hot on my neck. His honey voice dripping the sweet sticky nectar of his words in my ear. I felt the hair on my arms and neck stand up as his smooth firm lips dragged across my cheek leaving a trail of fire in it's path…_

_His sky blue eyes were darkening into a storm of indigo as they pierced mine through half-lidded gazes and long onyx lashes. His eyes stayed on mine as his sure lips found my trembling ones. He was asking for trust through his eyes and lips but it wasn't him that I didn't trust._

_I didn't trust my traitor brain and treacherous thoughts that lingered on my best friend way too much to be anything but completely wrong. The first moment I saw him, he was golden. _

_He was still golden to me but so much more now. He was my hero…everything he told me to do had worked flawlessly. He was my dark angel in a sea of demons with his truthful blue eyes and his halo of golden curls. _

_To me, he symbolized that idea of perfection…tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, beautiful face, and lean body. But he was so much more than just a pretty face. He was strong and tough…he didn't take shit from anyone…everyone at our school either loved him or hated him but everyone respected him. But he was always really nice to me._

_He was powerful and when I was around him the intoxication of it made me feel strong. When I was with Jasper, I could be whatever I wanted to be. I drew my strength from him. _

All of this information swirled around in my head like a cyclone. My head was filled with thoughts and memories that seemed so far detached from reality that it was as if they weren't even my own.

_Memories of the rough tips of fingers slowly sliding the sticky cotton fabric up the sweaty contour of my back. Drawing small infinite circles upon the heated flesh there. Dark theatres and a pretty girl's lips attached to mine were crushed against the weight of those scorching fingertips. They burned their mark upon my back and sent the strength of their flames coursing up my spine and into my lips and my tongue so that I can kiss the pretty girl back now. But its those fingers that hold my mind…_

_An afternoon of sweet lingering kisses as we lay on my bed. His strong fingers tug at my hair and mine are wrapped in golden curls. Lying side by side…the space between our bodies surging with a buzz of new energy as I enjoy the feel of his velvet lips more than I know I should._

_And his tongue held the sweet nectar of his honey voice…just a little saccharine but more so thick and sultry as it clings to my mouth and lures my tongue into his with promises of more._

_And I think to myself when Jessica's slick cherry lip gloss invades my memories of pure sticky honey…this is wrong. This is not what it's supposed to taste like. It should be hot and sweet and…Jasper. But his fingertips remind me that this is all an act and so my mouth delivers the performance of a lifetime with my tongue as the lead and my hands and lips, the supporting cast. And on the reel-to-reel in my mind, memories of strong fingers and soft golden curls and sugary sticky honey are playing over and over again to get me through this performance._

The cold spray finally brings me from my incessant thoughts and manic ramblings. I turn off the water and grab a towel. I use it to wipe off the mirror before wrapping it around my waist and gazing at the boy who looks back at me with an evil glint in his eye of a secret.

_At first I thought that maybe it just felt so wrong because it was Jessica. Jasper suggested we go for something better. He had a thing for Maria, who had quite the reputation, but she was older than us. Jasper didn't see it as a challenge._

_She was outside on her front porch with her friend Tanya when Jasper walked over and started talking to her in Spanish. She started giggling, looked down at his crotch and said something back to him. I watched as that devious smile spread across his face and that wicked glimmer flashed in his blue eyes. He told me once that he liked the girls but he loved the chase. And right now he had the look of a predator who was going for the kill. _

_He leaned one hand against the wall next to her and whispered in her ear soft Spanish words in that lazy southern drawl._

_Then he turned around and walked away._

_She was left to stare at him with her mouth hanging open and eyes full of curiosity. I asked Jasper, "What did you say to her?"_

_He laughed, "I said, 'Your boyfriend is an asshole. I'm an asshole too but I'm better looking and have a bigger dick. So when you want to upgrade…come find me."_

"_Then she said, "Hmm…maybe I will." And I said, "There is no maybe to it. You will. And I'm not a patient man so don't make me wait long."_

_He smiled at me, "I give it two days, tops, before she's mine. You could go for Tanya."_

_It still amazed me that he the balls to do those kinds of things. But the seductive drawl of cocky Spanish words whispered with the slow southern twang that fell from his lazy tongue…made my body react in ways that boys are not supposed to react to other boys and I found myself stuck in his wicked web along with all his other conquests. _

_It only took 6 hours before she called him and said that she broke up with her boyfriend. Maria hooked me up with Tanya. Tanya was beautiful…I guess…that's what everyone kept telling me anyway. And I guess I could see their point, she was tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, and a pretty face. But that was all she had. Other than that, she was completely vapid. _

_Perfect Tanya with her lengthy legs and full round breasts…that did nothing for me other than remind me that I was defective. _

_But I thought that maybe having this gorgeous girl's lips to mine would somehow feel right. _

_Tiny slender fingers and long fake fingernails scratching at my scalp are completely wrong. I'm thinking of short nails and strong fingers._

_So what do you do when you hate to kiss girls? You keep your mouth shut and do it anyway because that's what we're supposed to do. And then you try kissing more of them, praying to God that you can find one that you actually want to kiss. And when you can't seem to find one, your mind keeps wandering to the boy who gave you a perfect first kiss…_

_So I had to go to his house last night with every intention of kissing him again. I just had to know…were my memories really that good? Was it just because it was my first kiss? Why was it so much better with him? Maybe it was because it was taboo…maybe I'm masochistic or something._

The knock on the bathroom door startled me and I yelled, "Shit!" I heard my dad say in a stern voice, "Language young man. Get dressed and come out here."

_Great…_

I quickly pulled on some flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve tee. I walked out and my dad was sitting on my bed.

I muttered, "Um…sorry about the language, dad."

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Don't let me hear it again. Your mom and I are headed into Seattle for the day to hit the after Christmas sales. Do you want to come? We're going to get lunch and maybe dinner…depending on how carried away your mom gets."

I laughed, "Um…I'll just stay home if you don't care. I didn't sleep well and I think I'm going to go back to bed."

He got up and said, "That's fine, son. We'll be gone for awhile but we have our cell phones. No one in the house…except Jasper, of course, but no girls."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, "Sure, dad, that's no problem."

He smiled, "Alright, you know the rules, make sure you follow them."

I nodded, "Yes, sir."

He left my room and I crawled into bed and finally let my thoughts linger to this morning…

_I remember scooting closer to him last night so that I could make sure he was breathing…and so I could smell his breath wash over my face. I had wanted to kiss him but when he said that he had been drinking, I just couldn't do it. I needed his help but I couldn't ask him for it when he was drunk. _

_I worried about the drinking and the pills. He didn't do it all the time but I had seen him on several occasions popping something. He got them from his mom and her boyfriend. Some they gave him…some he stole from them. I had talked to him about it before but he said that he could handle it and it was no big deal. So, I had to believe him because I know he wouldn't lie to me and he was tough and strong, he could handle it, right?_

_That's why I knew that if I talked to him about what was going on with me, he would make me feel better. He would tell me that it wasn't a big deal and he would help me figure out a way to fix it. That's just what he did. I could talk to him about anything…I trusted him more than anyone. _

_My life had been pretty sheltered before Jasper. I mean, I didn't really understand the guys when they would all get together and talk about girls. I remember the first time I heard them talking about blow jobs…I had no idea what it meant. My parents were strict on the movies I watched and since none of the other kids had ever really talked to me before Jasper, I guess I was a late bloomer. And obviously my dad never felt any reason to have "the talk" with me at that point because I didn't even have any friends, let alone girlfriends._

_So when I asked Jasper later that night when we were alone what it meant, he explained it to me and he never made me feel weird or stupid because I didn't know. He always made me feel better and I needed him to make me feel better about this._

_So as I lay there watching him sleep, I'm surprised when his hand flails out and lands on my hip. I look at him but he's obviously sleeping. But I like the feel of it so I don't move. And then a moment later, his fingers are clenching my shirt and pulling me closer. I go with it and seconds later I am snuggling into his neck. Once there, he quits stirring and he sighs. I shakily reach my hand out and rest it on his chest, over his heart. The rhythmic beat of his heart plays like a lullaby. He smiles in his sleep and mumbles something incoherent. He sleep talks every now and then so that was nothing new._

_But then his other arm slides underneath me and both arms are pulling me even closer. He mumbles and smiles against my cheek and I feel safe and warm and normal. And it doesn't take long until I'm waking up to heavy breathing against my cheek and arms that haven't let go of me yet. _

_Still functioning with a sleepy mind, my eyes part for just a moment and see half lidded blue eyes. My eyes close and my head turns so our lips brush against one another. Then my eyes opened again to make sure he was awake._

_He was still this time as his hooded sleepy blue eyes looked into mine. He was waiting to see my reaction. I know Jasper…if he didn't want to kiss me, he would've pulled away. But he wasn't, he was just gauging my reaction and making sure I was okay._

_And I was better than okay. So, I kissed him first this time. _

_Our lips would pucker and brush one another. His lips were smooth and strong against mine. My hands moved on their own until they were tangled in golden curls. Then I felt his hand clench the fabric of my shirt as his knuckles slid across my back. Strong fingers grasped the hair at the nape of my neck and rough fingertips scratched at my scalp._

_This is right…_

_And I waited for him to make a move…but he didn't. So, I took control because I had to fucking know. I had to know if I could enjoy kissing as much he always did. I watched him kiss other girls and he never gave them soft languid kisses like he did me…with them it was more aggressive. I couldn't kiss a girl like that. It was too foreign. I always waited for the girl to kiss me first because I never really wanted to do it._

_Well, I really wanted to kiss him right now so I slid my tongue across his bottom lip…mmm…honey…I grazed his plump lip with my teeth and he groaned._

_Jasper Whitlock was the hottest boy in Forks…hell, in my opinion, Jasper Whitlock is the hottest boy in existence. And I made him groan. My body reacted to this by rolling over so that he is trapped underneath my lips and tongue. My elbows on either side of his perfect face and my fingers tugging on blonde locks._

_Jasper Whitlock is not kissing me…I am kissing Jasper Whitlock._

_And I feel powerful and sure of myself and in control…and I like it._

_And now… I am making out with Jasper Whitlock._

_But I knew he wouldn't let me keep the power too long…Jasper was a dominant creature by nature. He liked to be in control._

_Both of his hands went to my hips and he pushed me back into the mattress. There was much less space between our bodies this time and it was everything I could do to keep myself from touching something that I shouldn't. And, God, when his lips and tongue and teeth went to the crook of my neck…I growled. I didn't even know I was capable of growling but he elicited one from me. It was just too good…how does he make everything feel so good?_

_He makes me absolutely crazy…he makes my body feel things it has never experienced…he makes me want more._

The sound of the phone snaps me to reality and I reach over and grab it from my nightstand, "Hello?"

"Hey. You're awake," he sounded exhausted and I could hear yelling and loud music in the background.

"Um…yeah. Haven't been able to sleep. What's going on?"

He sighed, "I'm really fuckin tired, man and I can't sleep here…" then he yelled the next part, "cuz my sorry excuse of a mother is entertaining guests at 9:30 in the goddamn mornin!"

I heard his mom yell something back and then her boyfriend was screaming. Then I heard Jasper say, "Touch me and I'll break your fuckin hand. Now get outta my fuckin room." Then he huffed, "Fuck! Can I come to your house and crash for a few hours?"

I smiled, "Yeah, Jay. Come over."

He sighed, "Thanks, Eddie. See you soon."

As soon as we hung up, I thought that Jasper should probably eat something. I knew he was too tired to make himself something when he got home and I was positive his worthless mother didn't feed him.

I ran down to the kitchen and began looking through the fridge. My mom had always told me it was important for me to learn to cook and suddenly I was grateful that she had taught me. Blueberries. We had some and Jasper loved blueberry pancakes. He had never had them until my mom made them one morning. Now she keeps a supply on hand for any pancake emergencies. This was just that emergency.

I quickly pulled together everything and in no time I was pouring the batter into the pan.

By the time I had a stack of hot pancakes ready, the doorbell rang. I ran to the door and when I opened it, I was worried. His eyes were so bloodshot they were almost completely red and he leaned on the doorway for support.

He smiled anyway, "Hey Eddie."

I smiled back and he came in. He took a deep breath and he suddenly perked up, "Is your mom making blueberry pancakes?"

I shook my head as I shut the door, "No, they're gone for the day to Seattle. Shopping and stuff."

He had hung up his coat and taken his boots off so he began walking to the kitchen.

When he saw the pancakes sitting on the counter he stopped.

I walked past him to the cupboard to grab some plates. And when I turned around, his hands were pressed into the counter tops on either side of me. His body was brushing mine and he looked down at me through long thick lashes. He whispered, "Did you make me blueberry pancakes from scratch?"

My heart was racing as his clear blue eyes with red streaks gazed into mine with a new kind of intensity. I tried to calm my breathing but my speech was shaky regardless, "Uh…yeah…I figured you hadn't eaten… and… I know they're your fav…"

And then his lips were on mine. My hands gripped the counter behind me in surprise at the attack on my lips. He trembled…he actually fucking trembled for a moment before his teeth caught my bottom lip and gently tugged at it. His satin tongue was met with my own and we kissed…in my parents kitchen…against the countertop.

I felt his hands slide over my own and his fingers gripped mine. And with no roaming fingers, I could focus my attention on the feel of the winter cold that still radiated from his body. The chill was nice because I was on fire.

And the feel of his powerful fingers clenching mine until our knuckles were white from the effort.

His sure lips and honey tongue tasting mine. And all too soon, it was over. He pulled away with that familiar devious smirk and wicked gleam in his eye. Then he whispered, "Thanks for the pancakes, Eddie."

Then he shook his head and laughed. He sat down at the table, pulled his hood up and laid his head down on his arms. He growled and groaned something into his arms. Then he lifted his head and rubbed his hands along his face for a second before looking over at me. His face was as red as his eyes. He was blushing.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm really fuckin tired right now and my mind is just all over the place. I shouldn't have done that. Sorry."

I didn't know what to think of that so I folded my arms across my chest and looked at the ground. I mumbled, "It's okay, Jay."

A moment later his hands were on my shoulder and he was ducking his head down to look at me. He whispered, "Please don't be mad at me."

I sighed and lifted my head, "Why would I be mad at you?"

He raked his hand through his hair, "For kissing you like that."

I was so confused, "Why would you kiss me if you didn't mean it?"

He let out a breath and looked at me with a smile, "You think I didn't mean it? Edward, you know me better than that. I don't kiss anyone I don't mean to kiss. I was apologizing for the _way _I kissed you. I shouldn't have been so rough with you."

Now I smiled, "Oh…well it's okay, I liked it. I'm not as delicate as a girl, Jay."

He ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep breath. Then he turned to me and smiled, "What a weird fuckin day, huh?" He was blushing again.

I started laughing. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "C'mon, let's eat, Edward. And seriously, man, thank you for the pancakes."

I smiled over at him, "You're welcome, Jay."

We sat down and ate. We talked a little but both of us were practically walking zombies once we finished breakfast. We put the dishes in the dishwasher and headed upstairs.

Once we got in my room, I grabbed him a pair of sweats. He just took his hoodie off and kept the t-shirt underneath on. I got on my side of the bed and faced away from him. A minute later I felt him slide in.

He yawned, "Night, Edward."

I barely mumbled, "Night, Jay," before I was out like a light.

When I woke up he was sitting on the window ledge looking out at the snow. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, "You hate snow. What are you looking at?"

He smiled, "I hate _walking _in snow…I don't mind it so much as long as I'm looking at it from inside a warm house."

I sat up and stretched, "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long…maybe half an hour," he replied. I looked at the clock. It was 3:30pm. I checked my phone and saw that my dad had called so I called him back. They would be home at around 7pm with dinner.

He was still sitting in the windowsill so I sat down on the piano bench across from him and pulled my knees up to my chin.

"Are you okay, Jay?" He was really quiet, which was unusual for him. Even when he was just rattling off about nonsense while his mind was somewhere completely different, he would be talking. I could always tell when he was doing that because I could see it in his eyes that his mind was detached from his lips for the moment.

He sighed, "I'm just tired, man."

I was worried about him, "Why don't you get some more sleep? You can sleep as long as you want here, you know that."

He smiled over at me, "Yeah I know but that's not really what I meant. I just…I feel much older than I should, ya know? I just feel worn down."

I understood that, "Jay? Why don't you talk to my dad? Maybe he can do something to help."

Jasper sighed, "It doesn't matter at this point, Edward. If something happens with my mom, I either go to the state or to my dad. Both are worse than where I'm at. If I go into foster care it's untelling what kind of weirdo's and perverts I might get stuck with…if I go to my dad's, I get knocked around on a daily basis and treated like I'm in boot camp. So, it doesn't really matter. If someone would've gave a shit about me when I was a little kid, then maybe I could've had a chance but it's too late now. I'm better off here, at least I know what to expect and I have you."

_God I hated this…because as much as I hated to believe him, I knew that what he was saying was true. So I was just going to have to do the best I could to look out for him myself. _

I smiled, "Well, I know just the thing to make you feel young again?"

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "What's that, Eddie?"

"Snowball fight."

He started laughing, "You know I hate snow…"

I interrupted, "No, you said you hated _walking _in the snow…you said nothing about _playing _in the snow. Haven't you ever just played in the snow?"

He shook his head, "No, it seems kinda silly."

I smiled, "It's supposed to be silly. We're still kids, Jay. It's okay to act like it sometimes. You can be whoever you want when we're in the outside world, but when you're with me, it's okay to let loose a little and be a kid. I promise I won't tell anyone. So, let me teach you how to have fun in the snow. We can have a snowball fight, build a fort, and go sledding. It'll be fun, I promise."

I hopped up and started digging out warm clothes because I knew he wouldn't say no to me…he never could.

He laughed and stood up, "Alright, fine but I am so going to kick your ass in the snowball fight."

So, we dressed up in warm clothes and we went outside and played. And Jasper laughed like I never saw him laugh before. We spent the whole afternoon playing around in the snow and the woods. We had a killer snowball fight and yeah, he kicked my butt. We even built a snowman but he gave it boobs so we had to take those off before my mom and dad got home. We just hung out and had fun.

By the time we got too cold and came back in the house, it was nearly six. We were both freezing so I decided to make us some real hot chocolate, like my mom made. But as I was cutting the chocolate bars, I saw my hands…

_They look just like his hands…the middle knuckle that sticks up just a little further than the other ones…I see the knife in his hands…my hands…I close my eyes and hear the sound of flesh tearing and muffled screams…I hear the voice of the devil screaming unspeakable things…I feel his hands on me…my hands…smooth, soft skin of a business man's hands…sheltered and pampered…and fucking ape shit crazy…silky fingers running down my spine and declarations of love…blackness…_

But then the feeling of rough, calloused fingers sliding over mine and a honey voice in my ear saying, "Let me do that, Edward."

His hand has taken the knife from mine and I realized that I had been standing there shaking and unable to cut anything. I looked up and whispered, "Thanks." He smiled, "Anytime, man."

And I didn't have to explain what happened…he just knew. But he didn't make me feel worse by making a big deal out of it. He always understood what I needed. He was wonderful.

My mom and dad got home while we were drinking hot chocolate and watching The Goonies because it's one of my favorite movies. Jasper liked it too, even if he wouldn't admit it.

Then after we ate dinner, my parents called us into the living room. The tree was still up and there were several presents underneath it. They were all for Jasper. He didn't know what to say…I knew that he hated that he couldn't get stuff for us but I explained to him that he _had _given us all stuff. He gave me my life back and a best friend, and he gave my parents another son. They loved Jasper too.

He got a new basketball and clothes and shoes and socks…and yes, even underwear. My mom lived for this crap. But his last present was a cell phone. My dad smiled and said, "Now, son, don't try to tell me that it's too expensive because I only pay a few dollars a month for another phone line. You can call any of us for free…and you can call us at anytime. I just expect you to be responsible and make good choices, okay?"

Jasper nodded and smiled, "Thanks, Carlisle, Esme."

I was really thankful for that gift because Jasper's home phone was always getting turned off and I would get really worried about him.

We laid around for awhile and watched TV before going up to bed. We took turns showering and soon we were lying down.

I was facing him this time and we just laid there for a little while and I finally decided to ask him some questions,

I whispered, "Hey Jay?"

"Yeah?"

I took a deep breath, "Um…do you like…um…kissing girls?"

He thought for a moment and sighed, "Honestly, Edward, not really. I don't really like kissing that much…" then he smiled at me, "well, I kinda like kissing you…but anyway, no, I don't really like it much. Other stuff's good though."

I whispered back, "What kind of stuff?"

He shrugged, "Hand jobs are good…blow jobs are better."

And I had to know, "Are you a virgin?"

I watched as he chewed his lip for a second before mumbling, "No."

I'm not sure why but I was surprised. I figured he would have told me if he slept with anyone.

"Who?"

He sighed, "Her name was Sarah. It was before I moved here. She was the daughter of my mom's last boyfriend. She was older…fifteen…and she started fooling around with me. Then after awhile, I started doing stuff back. So, anyway, she kinda taught me everything I know…about sex anyway. But she was always such a bitch about it. She was kinda mean to me about it because I was young and I didn't really know what I was doing…"

I cut him off suddenly upset, "She molested you."

He sat up and got very defensive, "She did _not _molest me. I wanted to do those things…she never forced me…she taught me…"

"She wasn't teaching you, she was using you…"

Now he looked crushed as he looked over at me, "Is that what you think of me? I mean, I taught you to kiss…"

I shook my head, "That's different…"

He closed his eyes and turned away from me, "She didn't molest me, Edward. I wanted it, end of story. Good night."

My chest ached because he couldn't accept it. I don't care what he said, she molested him. If it was before he came here, he would've only been 12 years old. He was too young to make those kinds of decisions and she was old enough to know what she was doing.

I didn't want to hurt him though so I whispered, "Jay, I'm sorry. Please turn around."

He turned and looked at me. I whispered again, "I'm sorry."

He sighed, "It's okay, Eddie. Don't worry about it…sorry I freaked out. It just wasn't a very good experience for me so I don't like to talk about it."

I nodded, "Okay. Let's talk about something else."

He smiled, "Okay, what do you wanna talk about?"

Now I smiled, "I want to know why you like kissing me."

He laughed, "Seriously, Edward?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I'll tell you why I like kissing you first, if that will make you feel better."

He smiled, "Okay, you go first."

I felt a little foolish but went anyway, "Um…I like the way you taste…it's kind of like…honey…"

He giggled, "Honey, huh? Really?"

I nodded and laughed, "I know it's weird…"

He was smiling ear to ear, "It's not weird…it's nice. Besides, you wanna hear weird? Ya know how everything feels so fresh and clean after a rain storm?"

I nodded. He blushed, "That's what I think you taste like…just real and untainted…like the calm after the storm. It's really nice."

I reached out and took his hand. I turned it palm up and started running my fingers along his palm. I said quietly, "I like the way your fingertips feel. These small calluses from plucking your guitar…I like how rough your hands are…"

He looked inquisitive and he whispered, "Really?"

I nodded and he smiled, "Most girls think my hands are too rough…I've really messed them up fighting and stuff."

I studied his hands and could see the scars and feel the abrasiveness of his skin but I liked it. It felt right to me. So I just smiled and whispered, "Well, I like them."

He smiled back, "Thanks, Eddie."

Then he took a breath and whispered, "Um…I like the way you talk."

I wasn't expecting that so I giggled, "Really?"

He smiled and blushed again, "Uh…yeah. You just talk so different from everyone else. When you get going on a subject that you're real passionate about…you talk so…I don't know, pretty, I guess. You're really smart, Edward."

Now I was blushing. I knew I talked different…I guess since I basically learned to talk from grown up doctors and books, it did make me talk different than the other kids. I was always self conscious about it and tried to talk the way they did but he was right, when I was passionate about something, I tended to be…um…wordy.

"I like the way you talk too. I like the way your voice sounds."

He laughed, "You like the accent, huh?"

I could feel the fire creeping into my cheeks even hotter, "Um…yeah."

He smiled, "I don't understand the big deal about the accent…"

I took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Then I whispered, "The words drip from your languid tongue, slow and lazy and free. The sound is soft and simple and sweet. It reminds me of hot, sticky summer days. The way you speak is pure and untouched…raw and real…I love your accent."

I watched the rise and fall of his chest quicken as his breathing became a little rushed. My fingertips had been still brushing his palm and he lifted his hand until we were palm to palm. His hands were just a little bigger than mine but the coarse skin felt excellent against my soft skin. Then his fingers moved to clench mine. We were holding hands.

Then he scooted just a little closer and whispered, "This is okay, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it's okay with me."

He smiled softly and whispered, "So, when we're alone, I can kiss you then?"

I nodded again, "Yeah. When it's just you and me, I don't think it's a big deal."

He bit his lip for a second and asked, "So, like a secret then?"

I smiled, "Yeah. To the outside world, nothing changes. But when it's just you and me in our world, then we can do what we want."

His arm slid underneath my side and I felt his hand on the small of my back. His other hand that still clenched mine, slowly brought my hand up and rested it on his shoulder before he took his hand back and wrapped it around my back.

Now both arms were around me and he pulled me closer. My heart was beating out of my chest in excitement, anticipation, and happiness. He leaned in and gently brushed his nose to mine and whispered, "Can I taste your lips again, Edward?"

My breathing hitched and I smiled, "Any time you want, Jay. You don't have to ask, you can do whatever you want with me."

He pulled away just a little and had a serious expression on his face and he whispered, "Don't give me permission to do whatever I want, Edward. I don't want that kind of power with you. You know me, if you give me an inch, I'm gonna go for a mile. And I know you're not ready to do all the things I do so, let's just kiss, okay? I don't wanna push you too fast…I don't wanna mess up our friendship. We're gonna be best friends forever, right? No matter what?"

I smiled, "Of course, Jay, Forever. And I'm not ready for anything but kissing anyway. I don't want this to ruin our friendship either."

He smiled now, "Well, good. Now that that's all settled…" he looked at my lips and whispered, "C'mere pretty boy."

_He called me pretty…I liked it._

And so we kissed. For hours. Soft, sweet, lingering kisses. Eventually I grew really tired and he pulled away from my swollen lips. He whispered, "Go to sleep, Eddie. I'll hold you for a little bit and I'll make sure we separate before I fall asleep."

I yawned and curled my body against his and snuggled my head onto his chest. His arms were wrapped tight around me as he softly ran his fingers through my hair. I yawned again, "Thanks, Jay. Good night."

He whispered, "Night, Eddie. Sleep well."

I finally found a place in this world that I fit…I fit perfectly into his strong, safe arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys are freakin awesome! I appreciate the reviews and alerts and favorites so much! I also appreciate the recommendations to your friends. Let me say right now that I don't respond to reviews as often as I'd like because I don't get much time to write and I have a lot going on right now since I'm trying to rewrite my other story, "An Imperfect Love," and possibly try to get it published so wish me luck!**

**Song: Save Me by Staind**

**Jasper's POV**

Edward has fallen asleep with my arms wrapped around him, for the second night in a row. My fingers brush softly through his wild bronze hair and I find myself just lost in the calm of the action. Lying here in the dark of night, hearing nothing but his soft breathing and feeling the heat of it against my chest where his head lays…I feel peaceful. I like it.

And I let my mind wander free for a bit with this beautiful sweet boy in my arms…

_The boy made me blueberry pancakes…from scratch. How could I not kiss him, right? I just wished I wouldn't have been so messed up when I did it. I felt kinda bad about pinning him to the counter. But he said he liked it…I wasn't expecting that. _

_I mean, come on…he makes me pancakes for no other reason than because he wants to do something nice for me. For me. For no reason at all. He's so sweet and good and I know I don't deserve him._

_And I don't care that he's a boy because I think you gotta stick with those who stick with you. But I know how the real world works and two boys shouldn't feel the way we do about each other…or at least people think we shouldn't. _

_But what's wrong with wanting to be with someone who treats you better than anyone ever has and someone who just gets you and accepts you without wanting anything in return but just to be close to you? _

_The world is a pretty fucked up place sometimes._

_Then there's Maria. Will it bother him when I'm with her? Will it bother me to see him with Tanya? But we have to keep up appearances and boys are supposed to date girls. God this is confusing. _

_And then there's a whole nother set of issues…I'm not good for him. I've got so many issues and I don't wanna drag him down…but I don't wanna stop this…whatever this is. _

_And I worry about him. His eyes just go completely vacant sometimes and I know he's seeing something horrible. It doesn't happen often but…it happens. And I think that maybe I should tell his dad but I made him a promise that I wouldn't tell anyone. I can't betray him…he would never betray me._

_I wish we were grown already. Cuz then we could just run off together. We could hide away from the world in a little house off in a mountain somewhere…God, I sound like a damn girl._

_It's this whole place…Edward, the Cullen's, this house, this bed…it's all just so surreal to me. How the hell did I ever get so lucky to get people like this to actually…like me? But then I just have to wonder…when will the rug be pulled out from underneath me? When will my mom wake me up in the middle of the night so that we can sneak off and run outta town? It's gonna happen. If I called Carlisle would he come and get me? God, what would Carlisle think of me if he knew I was kissin his son? He would hate me. And Esme would too._

_I don't wanna lose any of them…but…fuck it, I'm gonna kiss Edward as long as he allows me too cuz no one kisses like he does and I'm thinkin that this is worth the risk. To have it all will be great…I just hope I don't lose it all._

_But there's no point in living without taking risks. And besides, if Edward's only foolin around with me, I can make sure he stays safe and he doesn't move too fast. I can help keep him calm and make sure he's okay so that all of his first times are good._

_Man, I'm really getting ahead of myself. Stupid crazy mind always moving way too fast…gotta slow it down. One day at a time, Jasper. Quit running through life so damn fast. I've gotta keep myself slowed down cuz I will never ever forgive myself if I do something stupid and hurt him._

He stirs in his sleep a little bit and I figure I better separate us before I fall asleep. I slowly pull myself from underneath him and scoot to my side of the bed. His arm reaches around for a minute trying to find me, so I give him a pillow and he cuddles himself into it.

And I laugh.

_Edward's pretty damn cute. His soft red lips are still puffy from…well, me. His hair, well…his hair is always crazy but a good crazy. I really like it. And right now, he looks happy and peaceful. I really like that too._

Finally my mind slows down enough that I can fall asleep.

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

The next few months were fantastic. I spent almost every night at Edward's house and we would lay in bed all night long and kiss and talk and laugh. Nothing changed with us at school or around people but when we were alone, we weren't afraid to touch a little more or kiss.

He didn't seem to have any issues with me and Maria and I was okay with him and Tanya. I knew that it was all an act with her and that he would be kissin me if he could. I hoped he knew the same, even though we never really talked about it. When we were alone, we didn't wanna waste time talking about crap that didn't matter.

By the last two weeks of school, Edward had broken up with Tanya. He couldn't stand her and I told him that just because I dated a girl didn't mean he had to. I was just used to dating girls.

Maria and I were moving along okay. I liked her okay but it wasn't the same as with Edward. But she was pretty damaged, like me, so it was kinda easy to be together since both of us were pretty withdrawn and really only had a physical connection.

But, this also just made things more difficult for me. I'd spend damn near every night sharing the most incredible kisses with a beautiful boy who drove me absolutely crazy…and then I spent my days making out with Maria. And like I said before, my self control wasn't great. So, I had also spent more time jerking off in the last few months than I ever had.

It was starting to take a toll on me. I knew I could go further with Maria but I kept fighting myself on it. But it was really hard. Literally.

So when I was walking home from Edward's house the last Saturday before school let out, feeling extremely frustrated with my constant erection and no release other than my own hand, I got a phone call that I knew would be bad to take. But I opened the phone anyway, "Hey Maria, what's up?"

"Well, Jay, I've been thinking about what you said to me the first day we spoke. And I realize that I have never been able to see if it was true or not. My parents are gone for the whole afternoon and I'm going to be all alone for hours…in my bedroom…thinking about what you said."

_Well fuck my life…_

And before my mind could think, my mouth drawled out, "You want some company, darlin?"

_Fuck! _

My mind and body were fighting but obviously my dick was more influential than my brain at the moment.

She purred out, "Si, papi."

I let out a breath and mumbled, "I'll be there in an hour." And then I hung up and put the phone back in my pocket. Edward would be gone all afternoon at some picnic thing with his dad's company. But Maria was right here.

And she wanted me. And I wanted Edward but my dick wanted a release. So, now I'm looking at the beautiful bronze haired angel on my left shoulder and the willing black haired devil on my right.

I wanted that fuckin angel but maybe a little romp with the devil wouldn't be so bad. Actually, it would be a good thing really cuz this way I can get the urge outta my system and then I won't have to worry about trying to move things further with Edward. Besides, it's not a big deal…Maria means absolutely nothing to me. Edward means everything to me.

But what would he think? Would he be mad? Hurt? We never said that we were really "together" like, as a couple and Maria _is _my girlfriend so it's not like I'm cheating or anything.

_But you have to tell him and surely it's gonna hurt him…fuck. I can't go. I'm gonna have to break up with Maria. I'll just have to figure something out cuz I can't keep doing this. And since it feels like Edward is the one I would be being unfaithful to…it's obvious that he's the one I want._

I walked in my front door to see my mom rolling a joint on the coffee table. She looked up and smiled, "Hey baby. Wanna smoke this with me?"

I nodded, "Fuck yeah." I sat down next to her on the couch and she handed the joint to me. We began smoking and after a minute she sighed, "So, some of my Xanax and Vicoden are gone and probably an eighth's worth of pot. Did you take it, Jasper?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, I took it but I figured you owed me."

She exhaled and coughed for a minute, "I owe you shit! You're getting old enough to start supplying your own habit, Jasper. I'm sick of supporting it. You're birthday just passed so you're what now, 16?"

I took the joint from her and grumbled, "15."

She smiled, "Now don't go getting all bitchy on me. Well, anyway, you're practically a man now so I think it's time you got a job this summer and start buying your own shit."

I laid my head back on the couch and closed my eyes for a minute while I smoked.

"Fine. I need a job anyway cuz I need new clothes and I, sure as fuck, know you ain't gonna buy me any." I handed her the joint back now and stood up to go take a shower.

The shower helped to relax me a little…well, the jerking off helped too. I walked to my room and pulled on a pair of old jeans and a wife beater. I sat down on the mattress and pulled on my socks and shoes. My mom knocked and stuck her head in the door, "Here," she said as she threw a piece of paper at me.

I picked it up, "What's this?"

She smiled, "That's my supply guy, James. He already knows who you are so he'll sell to you. Just don't fuck him over and he'll be fair to you. Now, don't say I never did anything nice for you, ya little shit."

I grabbed my phone and plugged the number in, "Thanks, mom. Why the fuck are you being nice today? What's going on?"

She grimaced, "Well, um…your dad is coming into town soon so I thought I'd try to be extra sweet."

Now I grimaced, "Great. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

She rolled her eyes and huffed, "You're never here, Jasper! You're always with that little weird Bobby boy…"

I just shook my head in frustration, "His name is Edward and we've been best friends for two years now. God you fuckin suck as a mom. Thank God you stopped with me."

She shrugged, "Whatever. He's weird and you spend too much time with him. People are gonna start thinking you're a faggot if you're not careful. Oh wait! It's the daddy, huh? You're fuckin around with the good Doctor! That's why he treats you so good…"

I glared at her, "You sick fuckin bitch! How dare you talk about any of the Cullen's! Keep their god damned names out of your fuckin mouth cuz you're not good enough to even speak their fuckin names!"

She just rolled her eyes, "All I'm sayin, Jasper, is that no man is gonna treat you all nice and buy you things unless you're giving him good reason too…"

I stood up and just walked past her, "Believe it or not, ma, there are some people in the world who are just nice fuckin people and don't want anything from me…"

She started laughing, "You are such a naïve stupid boy. You really think people like you for you? People like you because you're good looking, Jasper! Not because you're funny or smart cuz Lord knows you're a fuckin asshole just like your dad and you're about as smart as a box of fuckin rocks! And one day, your looks are gonna run out, boy, and you're gonna be old and alone and no one will give you the time of fuckin day…least of all your precious high class Cullen's. Mark my words, Jasper, you're not good enough for them either and they'll figure that out soon enough and kick your sorry ass to the curb. This is all you are Jasper and all you're ever gonna be which is a big fat nothing! Start living in the real world, son, and get your goddamn head outta the clouds!"

I walked into the kitchen and tried my best to calm down but the crazy bitch just followed me, yelling the whole way. I grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and took a big swig.

_Please God just make her shut up…please…_

She was still screaming when her boyfriend walked in the door. "What the fuck did you do now, boy?"

He stood there in his dirty clothes and work boots, wreaking of alcohol. He was only a couple inches taller than me now cuz I had hit a pretty good growth spurt the last few months. He outweighed me by probably twenty pounds. I sized him up for a minute.

I was desperate to hit something and right now he was looking like a pretty good target.

So when he put his hand on my shoulder…I saw red.

I grabbed his hand with my right hand and his arm with my left. I held his wrist as I used every bit of force I had to bend his arm the other way and then I slammed it against the edge of the counter. I could hear his screams and my mother's screams and I felt her trying to stop me but she was too late. The familiar 'pop' of the bones in his wrist snapping and his terrified shrieks made me smile.

I broke the fucker's hand. I was really fuckin proud of myself.

I smiled down at him as he lay on the kitchen floor holding his limp arm and screaming. My mother was tending to him and threatening to call the cops on me if I didn't leave. I just leaned down to him and calmly said, "I told you that I would break your hand if you ever touched me again. I'm not a little kid anymore, you stupid fucker so maybe now you'll keep your goddamn hands to yourself."

Then I grabbed my phone, Ipod, a pack of my mom's cigarettes, and the last of my hidden Xanax. I left the house and began just sort of wandering. I'm really wishing Edward were here right now so he could calm me down and make me feel better.

I pull my phone out and text him.

**Hey E! You home yet? - J**

Less than a minute later I get a text back.

**Hi J! Not back yet. S/B home by 6. U ok? - E**

**Not really. Need u. Call me when u get home. - J**

And then my phone is ringing. I smile and flip it open, "Hey Eddie, you didn't have to call me _now_."

I hear the anxiousness in his voice, "It's okay, Jay. What's going on?"

I sat down on the curb and lit a cigarette, "I'm keeping you from your father's party, Edward. We can just talk when you get home…"

_But I know he's not going anywhere…he's probably hid off somewhere by himself by now…_

He laughed, "It's okay…I've kinda been hiding out. I've found a nice little spot in the woods where no one can see me. I told my mom and dad I was going to mingle so they're not worried about me right now. So, what's up, Jay? What's wrong?"

I exhale and tell him about the fight with my mom and her boyfriend but leave out the insults she hurled at him and his family. He sighs when I'm finished, "I'm so sorry, Jay. You know that none of those things are true. You know we all love you."

Just to be able to vent helped me feel better so I asked smugly into the phone, "Do _you _love me?"

He laughed quietly, "Yes. You know I do."

I smiled now, "Thanks, Eddie. You know I do too, right?"

He says softly, "Yeah, I know."

And then, all of the bad shit that happened today just kinda melted away. Edward and I talked on the phone for about an hour. We didn't talk about anything big or important but it was just a fun, light conversation that left me feeling much better when we hung up.

I start walking back to my house, figuring that my mom and her boyfriend are probably at the hospital getting his hand tended to so I should be alone. Luckily, I'm right and they're gone when I get back.

I go to my room and lay down listening to music and waiting for Edward to get home. I hit my bong a few times to keep myself calmed down while I wait for him. A little while later I hear a banging on the front door. Reluctantly I pull myself up and to the living room.

When I open the door, there is one very pissed off Hispanic chick standing there. She starts cursing at me in Spanish and I just let her. Finally she stops and huffs, "I can't believe you have the nerve to stand me up! What's wrong with you? You don't like girls or something?"

Then I begin to go into a slight panic because I have an appearance to keep up and I realize that passing up an opportunity with Maria could have great consequences if she runs her mouth about it.

"Sorry, Maria. I got into a fight and broke my mom's boyfriend's hand. It's just been a fucked up day."

Her arms are folded across her chest and she sighs, "Oh…well, there's no one here with you now. Your mom's car isn't here so you must be alone…"

She trails off and I groan internally, "No, but they'll be back any time…"

Now she cuts me off as she walks into the house and shuts the door behind her, "That's okay. I don't need much time. Where's your room?"

_Shit._

I lead her to my room and shut the door behind me. I make one last ditch effort, "I don't have any condoms, Maria and I won't fuck without one."

She smiles as she pulls one from her back jeans pocket and throws it at me, "C'mon now Jasper. You talk a big fucking game so show me that you're not all talk or I will make your life next year in school a living hell."

I feel like my body is being turned inside out. I'm scared and nervous and I feel sick. I don't want this but how can I fight it now? I'm still standing there as her hands begin undoing my jeans. Her hand reaches inside my boxer briefs and begins stroking my now awakening cock.

I hate Maria right now but I can't stop her. She purrs, "Oh Jazzy, you weren't lying baby."

I just close my eyes and try to block out the feel of her hand and the sound of her voice. I resolve that this is gonna happen so I just let my body take over while my mind goes somewhere different. My thoughts are on Edward. His lips…his fingers…his hair and his eyes but my body is fuckin the hell out of Maria against a wall in my bedroom. Her screams and moans were a pretty good indication that I was living up to my reputation.

I give it everything I've got so that I can get it over quick because I'm really fuckin scared that I'm not gonna cum and I'm gonna go soft soon. Finally, it's over. I'm panting and my legs are killing me as I let her down to the floor. I turn to pull the condom off and throw it in the trash can when my door opens.

_God must really hate me._

Edward's standing there with wide eyes and he stammers, "Shit! Sorry!" And then he pulls the door shut.

I feel dirty and kinda like I'm gonna get sick. I turn to Maria, who is pulling her shirt on, and I'm pissed, "So, Maria, you found out that I've got a big dick, now you're gonna find out that I'm an asshole. I don't wanna see you anymore. I'm done."

Boy she's really pissed now. I'm fluent in Spanish and I don't know what the hell she's calling me but I figure it doesn't really matter cuz whatever she's calling me, I'm sure she's right. I'm also pretty sure she put some evil voodoo hex on me.

I'm pretty much just ignoring her as I pull my jeans up and throw on my wife beater. Then I'm rushing her through the door as I take off running towards Edward's house.

I see him walking slowly alongside the woods a little more than half way to his house.

He hears me coming and turns. He stops and waits for me. Once I reach him, I need a minute to pant because I had used way too much energy in the last hour for this shit.

Finally, I drag in a deep breath and look up at him. But before I can say anything he says, "I'm really sorry, Jay. I shouldn't have just came barging in like that. It's just…well, I kept calling and I didn't get an answer so I got worried. And then I walked over and your mom's car wasn't there and the front door was open so I thought you might be sleeping…"

I put my hands on his shoulders, "Calm down, Edward. Breathe, man."

He takes a deep breath and whispers, "I'm sorry."

I drop my hands and sigh, "Edward, what are you sorry about? I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry you saw that. I didn't even really wanna do it but…I just…" and then I groaned in frustration because I don't even know how to explain it to him.

Then his hand is on my shoulder, "It's okay, Jay. You know you can tell me anything. I think I understand why you did it and I'm not mad or anything, if that's what you think. I'm really more embarrassed than anything."

_He's not mad…not even a little? If it were him, I would be mad…_

"You're not mad at me?" I was a little bummed.

He smiled, "No, of course not. Maria is your girlfriend and I expect that you're probably going to…um…do stuff with her. I understand that. I just wish I wouldn't have seen it."

_I wanted him to be mad at me and the fact that he wasn't, kind of hurt. Maybe my mom was right._

"Oh. Okay. Do you still want me to stay the night then?" I was a little confused and feeling kinda stupid because I think I over thought this thing with Edward because he obviously didn't have any feelings invested into it. And then the rationalization set in that if this thing continued with us, I was gonna get very hurt. But I knew I wouldn't stop cuz obviously I'm glutton for punishment.

He nodded and started walking again, "Of course, Jay. Come on."

We walked to his house in relative silence. The tension seemed a little thick to me but he said he wasn't mad and he hadn't acted mad. We went in the house and made our way up to his room.

The minute the door was shut, I was being pressed against it with Edward's lips to mine, hungry and predatory as he pressed himself against me. My hands were on his arms and I gently pushed him away as I caught my breath, "What are you doing, Edward?"

He was panting and he huffed, "That's what you want, isn't it? If that's what you want, Jay, I'll give it to you. I just…I'm not ready for this thing between us to be over yet. I know you're going to be with other people and I accept that. But when we're alone together, you're mine." Then his eyes got wide and he slapped his hand over his mouth.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

_I like this side of Edward…_

"Eddie, it's okay. I feel the same way."

He removed his hand and whispered, "You do?"

I nodded, "Yeah, but I think I should tell you everything that happened today."

We went over and laid down long ways across the bed. And I told him everything. Every word that was spoken between Maria and me and how it ended up with the unfortunate scene he had seen.

When I was done, he was leaning on his elbow facing me. He put his hand on top of mine that sat on the bed and softly said, "I'm really sorry that happened, Jay. What a bitch."

I nodded, "Yeah, well I deserved it. I talk shit all the time, it was only a matter of time 'til someone called me on it."

He laid back down and put his hands behind his head, "Jasper, it doesn't matter what you say…no one has the right to make threats and push you into doing something you don't want to do. I know that it may hurt your reputation but you do have a choice. You can say no."

I took a deep breath and mimicked his position, "I know. Edward? Do you want me to stop…ya know…dating people?"

_Because I will if you just ask me too…please ask me to…_

He sighed, "Of course not, Jasper. I'm okay with it. I just don't want to hear all the details and I definitely don't ever want to see it again. I mean, I should probably keep trying to date girls too. Maybe there's still hope for me. I've only kissed a few girls, I shouldn't toss in the towel yet, I guess."

I just nodded, "Um…yeah I guess you should keep trying."

_No you shouldn't._

He got up, walked to his door and locked it. I sat up on my elbows as he walked over. I raised an eyebrow curiously at him and he really surprised me.

He smiled shyly as a faint blush came across his cheeks and he whispered, "I'm not ready to go _that _far but…I would like a little…more."

I was caught a little off guard, "Um…what do you want, Edward?"

He crawled on the bed and up my legs until he was straddling me. He kept his weight off of me but I was fearful now that the instant erection I got would brush against him. His striking green eyes gazed down at me.

Our eyes stayed locked but neither of us spoke. I was still up on my elbows as his hands went to the hem of my shirt. His thumbs tentatively pushed the fabric up and he started brushing his soft fingertips across the creases and lines of my stomach.

My mouth hung open as my breaths became shallow. My skin was on fire and my body felt something it had never felt. No one's touch had ever felt like his. Edward and I had only kissed and always kept our bodies apart so this was definitely new. I kept dragging in ragged breaths and staring hungrily at him as his satin fingertips kept exploring my chest and pushing my shirt up further.

Soft hands glided over every inch of my chest, tracing each scar softly and appreciating each muscle. His finger and thumb roll gently over my nipple and pinch wearily. My head lulls back and a groan rolls out from deep in my throat.

This obviously gives Edward a boost of confidence because I feel him finally let his weight down and now he is sitting on me. And he's as hard as I am.

My elbows come off the bed and I'm gripping his hips carefully as my back arches from the contact. And I moan, "Mmm…Edward."

My hands begin pushing his shirt up. Sliding slowly over the contours of his body, he raises his arms and I pull it off and drop it to the floor. Now I'm sitting up with Edward's knees on either sides of me while he straddles my lap.

We're both breathing heavily and a moment later, his hands are pushing my shirt up. So I lift my arms as he pulls it off and drops it on his. His soft, strong hands slide down my arms slowly as my arms wrap around his back and pull him close enough that our stomachs are now touching. We both groan from the small contact.

Now I can feel his stomach moving in and out with each ragged breath…much like mine. His hands slide up my arm, around my neck, and into my hair pulling me gently to him. Our eyes close and our lips meet.

My hands roam his back and shoulders and hips. His lips are plump and taste so good that I can't resist sucking them softly between my lips. Now he moans softly and then his tongue is crashing into mine. We kiss deeply but it doesn't get out of hand…we just enjoy it.

We kiss like that for awhile; our stomachs together, our lower bodies pressed against each other, long, deep, slow, wet kisses and my body is on fire. And my mind is right here with him…I don't want to miss any moment of this so I keep my mind focused on the feel of his body and lips…his hair between my fingers…the soft sighs of contentment as he uses his lips and tongue to make me feel like a human again and not like just some dirty thing that you use once and throw out the next day.

He was kissing me all better. And I did feel all better. Edward could save me from anything with just the simple touch of his fingers brushing along my skin. I wasn't looking to get things over and done quick with Edward, like how I did with girls so I could take my time and just enjoy and bask in the loving attention he always gave me…it was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

Then his palms are on my chest and he's slowly pushing me back onto the bed as he lays down on top of me, never breaking our kiss. He's starting to rub against me and I feel like I could cum any second. But I don't wanna screw things up with him and I'm worried about moving too fast. So I quickly roll over and pin him underneath me. He lets out a surprised gasp and then I start tickling him.

His lips break from mine as he starts laughing. His hands go to his stomach as he giggles hysterically and then he's trying to tickle me back but I'm not as ticklish as he is so I am most definitely winning this little game.

After a few minutes, he yells out, "You win! Oh God please stop!"

I cease the tickling and we're both still laughing. I reach up and wipe the tears from his eyes as his laughter slowly dies down.

And then I can't resist the urge to lie my head down on his chest, over his heart, just like he lays with me almost every night. At first his heart is beating wildly in his chest but then his soft fingers start running through my hair, separating the curls with their tender touch.

His heart slows down and the soft beat is soothing to me so I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. He continues playing with my hair and before I realize it, I've fallen into a very peaceful slumber.

I don't know how long I slept on him like that but I was awaken by his gentle shaking and soft whispers, "Wake up, Jay. My parents just got home."

I lift my sleepy eyes and am thankful that I didn't drool on him. He smiles down at me and whispers, "You feeling better, Jay?"

I nod and yawn, "Thanks, Eddie. I needed that."

He smiles and leans down placing one more soft kiss to my lips and whispers, "Anytime, Jasper."

We disentangle ourselves, sit up and put our shirts back on. Then he gets up and unlocks his door and looks over at me, "Hey, let's go eat and play Halo."

I nod and stand, "Sounds like a plan to me."

And that's what we do. And now our nights are filled with a little more exploration of each other's bodies and more passionate kisses.

When school finally ends, I get a job working for an old farmer on the outskirts of town. The job is easy mentally but pretty tough physically. I spend about six hours a day bailing hay in the hot sun. But he pays cash and the pay is pretty good. His wife always makes lunch and he lets me ride the horses and play with the animals on my breaks.

I'm surprised when Edward says he wants to work with me. He doesn't need the money since he gets an allowance and I can't understand why he'd want to do such hard physical labor when he doesn't have to.

He just says that it will help him work out his body and keep him from being lonely while I'm at work. I'm really happy when he does start working with me. It makes the day go by much easier and I get to kind of show off my farmhand knowledge. He seems to be really interested in everything I know about life on a farm and I begin more little fantasies of me and him together on our own farm one day. Riding horses together and working in the fields together…spending every night together in _our _bed….and waking up still in each other's arms…

Then I remind myself to slow down my crazy mind and just focus on the here and now. My brain has a habit of running way too fast for it's own good.

Edward's birthday comes and I actually have money now so I buy him a CD that I know he's been wanting and I take him out to a movie. I know it's not like a date or anything but I still buy him some Skittles and he buys me some M&M's.

The movie theater is dark and pretty empty and for the first time in my life, I actually want to make out…but I know it's impossible. So I settle for lying my hand palm up in between us and I'm happy when his hand slides slowly into mine and we grasp fingers and try to keep our hands hidden in-between us.

And for all the experience that I've got…it's these little moments with Edward that make my heart beat faster…


	5. Chapter 5

**Playlist: Forever and Ever Amen by Randy Travis, Look at Us by Vince Gill, Remember When by Alan Jackson, I'd Love To Lay You Down and Slow Hand by Conway Twitty, Boots On by Randy Hauser, and If Ever I Could Love by Keith Urban**

**It's a long one, I know, but there's a reason behind it. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

**Edward's POV**

When I opened the door to Jasper's bedroom, my heart felt like it stopped and my chest ached. I quickly mumbled something before bolting out the door. I was trying so hard to keep the tears from coming. I couldn't be upset about this…I couldn't cry about this because he wasn't mine.

I guess in my mind, I knew that he would do stuff with his girlfriend but I couldn't help but feel almost…betrayed. I couldn't get the image out of my head.

Maria standing behind him, pulling up her panties and Jasper standing there with his jeans around his ankles and a _used _condom in his hand. It felt like I couldn't breathe…

_I didn't think he even really liked her that much._

Then other thoughts started running through my mind…

_Does this mean he won't want me anymore? But it's not like we're doing anything but kissing so really what kind of pleasure could he be getting with me? Why did he want to lay around every night kissing me when he could be having sex with sluts like Maria? Slut. Whore. Skank._

I was angry and hurt but I knew I shouldn't be. This thing between me and Jasper meant nothing…it was just a…what? A release? No, it can't be a release because neither of us is getting any kind of sexual release from it. Then what the hell are we doing?

All these stupid feelings of hurt and anger have to be quickly buried. Jasper is obviously doing me a favor by kissing me every night and treating me like I mean something to him…if I show him that I'm hurt or mad, will he end it? It's just…when we're together alone, it seems like more than just…fooling around.

Will I lose my best friend because he'll think I'm possessive and reading too much into something that isn't really there?

I am so screwed. I had feelings beyond normal friend feelings for him before we even started this little thing between us. And now…ugh. What the hell am I doing?

_Don't be stupid, Edward. This is Jasper Whitlock. He could have anyone he wanted…obviously, so why on earth would he ever want you? _

_God, why do I want him? Why him? Why not some nice girl? Why can't you make me want a girl like every other guy? I'm still a freak. He was right…I can change my image and make people think I'm normal, but I'll never be normal. _

Then my thoughts began to drift on the darker side…

_Jasper…naked…naked Jasper…I've never really seen another naked guy before. I mean, in gym class it's not like we take the time to check each other out in the locker room. So besides myself, he's the only one I had ever seen. _

_My eyes trailed up his muscular calves…must be so nice from all the basketball he plays. Then his long, powerful thighs…then I saw "it."_

_Wow. It wasn't hard anymore but even soft…it was very impressive._

_I wonder whose got a bigger…_

_And now I'm blushing. Oh God I am so fucked. I'm thinking about Jasper's manly parts…stop thinking about it! Stop! Don't think about his body anymore! That's an order!_

_Who the hell am I kidding? He's got a really nice body and I really want to touch it. _

And now he's running up to me.

_Play it cool…don't scare him off…_

We get through our conversation and I think I convinced him that I was okay with everything, even if I was wrenching on the inside.

But the second _my_ bedroom door closed…he was mine again.

I couldn't stop myself…I would've done anything he asked me too if I knew that he would still want me. And when he pushed me away, even though it was gently, I was hurt again so I practically pleaded with him to still want me. And before I could stop it, I called him 'mine.' I could've died right then from embarrassment.

But then he grinned and said he felt the same way. And he told me what happened between him and Maria.

It was then that I realized something about my best friend…he knew he was beautiful on the outside but he had no clue how beautiful he was on the inside. Jasper was strong and tough and powerful…but he was also hurt and insecure and didn't feel like he could stand up to girls when it came to his body. He felt like his body was all he had to offer…

Jasper had a great body but he was also a great person. He's the only person to make me feel truly accepted and normal and special. He always treats my parents with the utmost respect…he never cursed or did pills or anything around them.

But outside of this house and to other people, Jasper was different. He was quick to anger, sometimes very mean, defensive, and generally a little crazy. It worried me because I knew how easily he could lose control one day and do something that couldn't be undone…something that might ruin the rest of his life. I was going to have to do a better job at helping my best friend because I think he really needed someone to look out for him.

When he asked me if I wanted him to stop dating people I wanted to scream, "Fuck yes! I want you to date me!" But I'm not a stupid boy…I know that even if by some miracle of God that he feels the same way I do about him, we could never show it publicly.

And I really doubt that he would want to. Jasper was a natural born flirt and he loved the attention of having girls want him. That's something I can't compete with.

So I just rattled off something about trying to date girls. I should keep trying I guess. Maybe I just need a different type of girl than the ones I've been trying…

Then I realized that we were alone in my bedroom and we were wasting precious time…so I made a move…

I hadn't gotten to admire his upper body before I pulled the door shut so I wanted to do it now.

I was bold because I knew what I wanted and when we were alone, I wasn't afraid of it.

His hard chest felt wonderful underneath my fingertips. And when I made his head hang back and him groan again, I couldn't help it…I had to know if I affected him the way he affects me.

So I let my weight down so that I was sitting directly on top of him. He was hard too so that gave me my answer. He wanted me.

And then our shirts were off and the bare hot flesh of our stomachs brushed together as he _willingly _pulls me closer. His heavy breathing and the quivering sensation coursing through my body were intoxicating.

I needed to taste his honey lips. I trailed my fingertips up the smooth skin of his biceps, around his neck, and into their favorite place, soft golden curls. My fingers are home and as I pull his lips to mine, they are home too.

Jasper is mine. At least for the moment and I want more of him. So I push him back against the bed and his hardness pushed against mine is making my body move on its own to create the friction it so desperately desires.

My legs are on either side of him, my elbows on the mattress by his ears, my fingers in his hair as my hips moving gently into his. I can feel him moving underneath me and the intensity of it coupled with the feel of our searing skin sliding against each other easily from the light sheen of sweat…I was so close. And I wanted it but I was also a little scared about what I was doing…

But then he started tickling me. Even though I was a little frustrated, I thought it was kind of sweet that he was trying to go so slow with me. That must mean that he cares for me, right? I mean, he doesn't take his time with any girl he dates.

He falls asleep on my stomach and I love the feel of his warm breath washing across my chest. I brush my fingers through his silky curls and just reminisce about the feel of his skin against mine…

Jasper had awakened every teenage hormone in my body these last few months but also a few other emotions I wasn't sure how to quite deal with yet. I wanted more…

School went by fast and Jasper got a job baling hay at a farm outside of town. He seemed to love it so I thought I'd try to get a job with him. And I got bored while he was working all day.

It was great…well, it sucked. It was really hard work. My body ached and my skin always felt like it was on fire from the sun. But I did get to see a sweaty shirtless Jasper everyday so the trade off felt fair to me.

And this job was really good for him. He loved the old man and woman we worked for. They were an older couple, I'd guess mid-seventies. Jasper said that the woman, Charlotte, reminded him of his grandma. And the man, Peter, treated Jasper kind of like a kindred spirit.

They could spend hours talking about old country music or horses or even history. Peter and Charlotte treated us both very well but I think Jasper reminded them of their son, Nathan, who was killed during Desert Storm. And Jasper really liked being on that farm with them. He would stay late or come early sometimes and just help out with repairs or in the garden…he took care of the animals and he did all of this just because he thought it was the right thing to do, not because he wanted to be paid for it.

I was really glad my dad helped us get this job. I think these people were really good influences for Jasper. Peter was a patient of my father's. He had a major heart attack five years ago and his wife Charlotte was battling cancer and had her good days and bad days.

Jasper was kind of in awe of their relationship. I'd watch him as he'd watch them interact and he would just get this small sweet grin on his face.

_I think maybe Jasper is an old fashioned romantic…_

But the whole situation was good for him and he was also really happy to have his own money. He bought me a CD and took me to a movie for my birthday…and he bought me Skittles. And as soon as the lights went out, I wanted to kiss him. But I knew I couldn't. I was surprised when he laid his palm face up between us.

I watched as he sent me a sideways glance and when I slid my fingers into his, he smiled and leaned back in the chair, finally relaxing. I did too.

_So, he wants to hold my hand…it has to mean something, right? He must like me the way I like him…_

We were a few weeks into the summer now and Jasper hadn't talked to any girls all summer…I figured it was probably because he didn't have a lot of free time but…maybe it was because of me.

Today was a blistering day in the heat as we worked and it wasn't long before we were both shirtless. I watched the beads of sweat roll down his lean, strong back as we continued working. My hair was sticky with sweat and I pulled my baseball cap down low to keep the sun from my eyes.

Peter came strolling out with an old black cowboy hat. He handed it to Jasper with a smile on his face, "Here, son. This was Nathan's old hat. It'll keep the sun out of your eyes."

Jasper shook his head, "No way, Peter. I can't take that…"

Peter grabbed his hand and put the hat in it, "I have no use for it. I want you to have it. Please take it."

Jasper hesitantly took the hat and put it on his head. I immediately sucked in a quick breath at the sight of a hot, sweaty, shirtless, dirty, cowboy hat wearing Jasper. I quickly turned and grabbed my water bottle taking a big drink to try and cool myself off.

Peter smiled and said with a wink, "That hat'll drive the girls wild, son."

_The boys too…_

Jasper just smiled and told him how much he appreciated it and that he would take good care of it. Peter sat down on one of the bales of hay and drew out his old handkerchief as he wiped the sweat from his brow.

"I need some advice from you young fella's…"

He went on to tell us that his 50th wedding anniversary was coming up and he didn't know what to do. Jasper suggested a special date with dinner and dancing like they used to do when they were first married.

But Charlotte couldn't travel too far from the house in her condition so then Jasper offered to play the guitar and sing some country love songs for them and they could dance right there on the front porch. I offered to make them dinner. Peter was really floored by our suggestion and he accepted with much gratitude.

Jasper and I were in my room one night and I watched him sitting on my bed with his guitar in his lap. He had been learning some new songs to play for them. He spent a lot of time practicing, I could tell that it meant a lot to him that it be special for Peter and Charlotte. My heart fluttered a bit at the sentiment. Jasper could be really very sweet when he wanted to be.

He looked up and caught me staring at him from where I sat on my piano bench. He smiled and blushed just a trace. I smiled at that…Jasper only ever blushed around me, no girl I had ever seen him with had made him blush.

"What are you working on, Jay?"

I watched his dimpled grin form as he said, "It's called 'Forever and Ever Amen.' It's one of Charlotte's favorite songs. Will you listen to it and tell me if it sounds alright?"

I nodded. I loved watching him play his guitar and he had a beautiful voice. I had heard him sing and play a lot but never a love song so I was pretty curious…

When Jasper got lost in his music…he was amazing. His eyes would close and his shoulders would sway…he looked so natural and beautiful. His golden curls bounced as he rocked gently to the music. I listened as he played the pretty love song and I couldn't help but notice that he would look up at me every now and then with a faint blush on his cheeks and a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

_You may think that I'm talking foolish_

_You've heard that I'm wild and I'm free_

_You may wonder how I can promise you now_

_This love that I feel for you always will be_

_But you're not just time that I'm killing_

_I'm no longer one of those guys_

_As sure as I live, this love that I give_

_Is gonna be yours until the day that I die_

_Oh baby I'm gonna love you forever_

_Forever and ever amen_

_As long as old men sit & talk about the weather_

_As long as old women sit & talk about old men_

_If you wonder how long I'll be faithful_

_I'll be happy to tell you again_

_I'm gonna love you forever and ever_

_Forever and ever amen_

He finished the song up and I was completely captivated by him. I never really listened to country music but I had a feeling that was going to change after today.

He looked up and smiled, "What do ya think?"

I smiled a crooked grin and looked away for a moment before getting the nerve up to look in his baby blue eyes, "Charlotte's going to love it. It was perfect, Jasper. I think it's really nice of you to do this for them."

He smiled, "Yeah, well they're really nice people. I like Peter a lot…he kinda reminds me of what I think I'll be like at his age. He had a real rough childhood…his dad was an alcoholic and he has eight brothers and sisters. He's from Texas too and he grew up dirt poor. His dad used to beat all of them including his mother. He said he was so afraid when he fell in love with Charlotte because he thought that he could end up being a mean son of a bitch like his dad. And Charlotte came from a high class family. He didn't think he'd ever have a shot with someone as good as her. He was just a old, dirt poor, country boy…like me. So he spent five years pining for her but keeping a safe distance because he was afraid of what could possibly happen."

I watched as his eyes sparkled as he told the story. He was completely caught up in it. He really was an old romantic.

"So, Charlotte was fixin' to marry another man and it scared the hell outta him that he was gonna lose her forever. So he snuck into her room the night before the wedding and confessed his love to her. She apparently had felt the same way all those years but had been too afraid to say anything. She knew her daddy was gonna be mad as hell so they snuck off that night together. They didn't have a dime to their name when they started their life together and they struggled in the beginning but it just made their bond stronger. Eventually, Peter's farm took off and they lived good lives. And never in 50 years has he ever hit or even raised his voice to Charlotte or his son. He changed. If he can do it, I can do it too. I don't have to be like my dad…I could be a good man if I really worked at it."

Jasper was always the most beautiful boy I had ever seen but he was absolutely radiant now. And the shine radiated from the inside out. I hoped Peter knew the profound effect he had on him.

"You _are _a good man, Jay. You've always been good to me. The real you is pretty damn amazing, Jasper."

He blushed slightly again and said, "Thanks, Eddie."

Then I wondered, "How'd you find out all these things about Peter?"

Just then my mom knocked and walked in my room, "Hey boys. Your dad and I are going into Seattle for dinner and a movie. Would you like to join us?"

_Dinner and a movie with my mom and dad or an empty house with Jasper?_

"No, I think we'll just stay here. You and dad need a night alone." _And so do me and Jasper…_

He shot me a knowing look and a sly smile as she excused herself to leave.

While my parents were getting ready to leave I continued my conversation with him, "So…you never answered my question."

He laid his guitar on the ground and then laid down on his side with his head propped up from his elbow on the mattress. "Last weekend when you went to your grandma's house on Sunday afternoon, Peter and me went fishing. He's got a lake tucked way back on his property. It's surrounded by woods. It's really nice. Anyway, we went fishing and talked a lot. He's a cool old man."

Then he looked down at the blanket as he nervously plucked the threads, "Hey, I was wondering if you think your mom and dad would let you go camping? Peter said we could use the lake. I was thinking that maybe after we finish helping him with his date…that maybe we could go camping at the lake overnight. If you want."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face at the thought of lying underneath the moonlight with him all night. "Yeah, I'm sure they would. Um…I've never been camping though."

He smiled and looked at me now, "I'll take care of everything. It'll be fun."

We heard the garage door close as my parents pulled down the driveway. The tension between us had been thick all week and I stood up as he walked over to the doorknob to lock it.

He turned and walked towards me. A moment later we met in the middle of the room and made no hesitation as my hands went to his soft golden curls and his strong fingers pushed the back of my shirt up stroking the flesh there, pulling me closer.

Our lips crashed into one another and we both deepened the kiss instantly. We kissed passionately and frantically as shirts went flying and we were tumbling on my bed with him landing on top of me but never breaking the kiss. Our hands explored the valleys and contours of each other's back and chest…arms and stomach.

He was keeping his weight off of me and I had a pretty good idea why. But I was having none of that as my hands trailed down his muscular shoulders and back until they pushed their way down to the back of his jeans. My fingers squeezed his jeans clad ass and pulled him down into me.

He groaned deeply as his lips fell to my neck and he began nipping and sucking on the taut skin there. My hands kneaded the material of his jeans and continued encouraging him to move against me. I needed more and from the way I felt him throbbing against me…he did too. He whispered in my ear, "Wrap your legs around me, Edward." His drawl was thick…always thicker the more worked up he got.

I moaned just from his words. And I quickly did as he asked and wrapped my legs tightly around his waist and bucked into him, desperate for friction. The need for his body on mine made me bold.

He laughed softly in my ear, "Whoa…slow down tiger. If you wanna do this, then we're gonna do it my way…"

I needed some sort of release. Being with him every night was driving me slowly insane. I had tried to do it a few times myself but…I just couldn't. My hands were just…wrong. So, I would do whatever he asked.

I nodded and whispered through ragged breaths, "Okay…just please, Jay, don't stop…please."

He trailed his finger down my jaw and nipped it as he whispered, "I won't stop unless you tell me too…are you absolutely sure you wanna do this?"

I nodded again and whispered "please"…I wasn't even sure what I was begging for but I just knew I needed him.

He smiled and kissed me a sweet, soft kiss before leaning over to my nightstand and grabbing his Ipod and putting on the dock. He flipped through to a Playlist then he crawled back to me and leaned down to my neck.

His hot breath was giving me goose bumps and he whispered, "We've got hours before your parents get back home, Edward…let's not rush this."

I moaned softly at his sexy words and the feel of his hot tongue sliding over the fragile skin of my neck. Slow was good…it just made the anticipation all the greater.

His legs went between mine as he nudged them apart with his knees. I was already sucking in shaky breaths from this awkward but intensely erotic position. He let his weight down on me as his soft lips and wet tongue ravaged my neck. It was then that I heard the song playing, Only You Can Love Me This Way…I knew this song because I had heard him listening to it a few times. My hands were rubbing along his smooth back and getting lost in slow country music and soft, lingering kisses.

His hips began moving against mine in a firm but gentle rhythm to the music. His lips kissed up my jaw and back home again to my waiting lips. My legs wrapped around his waist again and the feel of his hardness against mine, even in jeans, was beyond incredible.

My heart fluttered and my body trembled with the sensation of him grinding against me as his honey lips kissed me. He was moving his strong hips in slow circles and once I was able to think somewhat clearly, I started moving my hips underneath him…mimicking the slow soft circles he made and meeting his every movement.

We did this for what seemed like hours…slow, wet kisses…soft, slow movements…a very leisurely climb to the brink of ecstasy. I knew that the slow climb was going to be worth the reward at the end.

Many sweet and sexy country love songs had played and I couldn't help but wonder if he had made this Playlist for…_us_.

My whole body was starting to feel little shots of electricity through it as the feel of him throbbing against me brought me closer to the edge.

He pulled away from my lips with a moan and his hooded blue eyes found mine. We were both sweating lightly from the tortuous slow exertion of our bodies. He was panting and his arms that held him up began to tremble.

_God he's beautiful…_

He moaned again but his eyes never left mine. He whispered, "God…Edward…never knew…this could feel…so good…"

My body trembled beneath his as I whispered back in equally short breaths, "Me…neither…God Jasper…so…so good…so close…don't stop…"

He moaned again as his eyes closed and he whispered, "Fuck…"

Then his head fell to my shoulder and his hands went to my hair. He took my earlobe in between his teeth and groaned, "Do you know how hard this is for me to go slow?'

My hands were pulling his lower back even closer to me as I panted, "Then go fast…"

He lifted his head to look me in the eyes again. His lust filled baby blues were penetrating mine as he whispered, "No…I'm going slow with you…I'm gonna do this right…"

And the fact that he was doing all of this slow, sweet torture for me…I couldn't stop my lips from moaning, "You're fucking perfect, Jasper."

I wanted to be embarrassed but I was lost in incoherency at the intense tingling throughout my body.

My eyes closed from the intensity I felt and soon his plump honey lips were on mine again and he whispered, "I feel the same way about you, Edward. You're fuckin perfect."

Our lips were against each other and our mouths were parted as we just breathed each other in while our bodies finally got their reward for such patience.

He grunted and moaned against my lips as he twitched against me and the look on his face when he came…pushed me quickly over the edge with him.

The intensity was fierce as I shook underneath him and moaned loudly against his shoulder. My toes felt like they were permanently curled as we slowly came down.

We stayed like that for awhile and caught our breath as we held on too one another in a lazy comfortable grip. We were both still reeling from the experience we just had together.

Finally Jasper laughed softly in my ear and whispered, "Why is it you're so good at everything, Edward? I've _never _felt anything like that before and I've done lots more than what we just did…"

I laughed now, giddy with happiness and satisfaction, "Must be because I'm Edward fuckin Cullen."

We both laughed and cuddled for awhile and I felt I had to ask, "Hey Jay? I have to ask about the song Playlist…"

He leaned up on his elbow to look down at me and smiled, "You noticed that, huh?"

I smiled, "Yeah…I noticed. Did you…ya know…make the Playlist for…_this_?"

His cheeks turned scarlet and his grin was wide, "I did make it for…when I was with you. Is that weird?"

I laughed softly and shook my head, "No, not at all. It's kind of…um…sweet actually."

Now I blushed and he laughed again and nuzzled my ear. He whispered, "Yeah? Well, good…I'm trying."

Then he pulled up and smiled, "Um…we should probably go get cleaned up before your parents get here."

I nodded. My sticky pants were becoming quickly uncomfortable. "Why don't you take the bedroom shower and I'll take the hallway one."

He nodded and we kissed one last time before separating.

The next week went by quickly and even though he stayed with me every night…we hadn't had another repeat performance of our most intimate night yet. We still spent every night just kissing.

But, today was the big day. Peter and Charlotte's 50th anniversary and my and Jasper's camping trip. He took care of everything for the trip, packing everything in a large duffle bag. My mom sent a dessert for them and drove us to their house so the groceries I bought for the meal would stay good. Peter had said that Charlotte's favorite food was chicken parmesan so my mom gave me a recipe and I just prayed to God that I didn't screw it up.

She dropped me and Jasper off with all of our supplies. Charlotte was taking a nap when we got there so we could begin getting ready. I went to the kitchen and began the meal as Jasper and Peter hung up white twinkly lights on the front porch.

Halfway through my preparation, Jasper strolled into the kitchen with a bouquet of wildflowers. I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, "I thought they'd make the table look prettier."

I laughed as he grabbed a vase and set the table for two. Once dinner was done and on the table, Jasper lit the candles and we slipped out to the front porch to eat while Peter went and brought Charlotte into the dining room for they're candlelit dinner.

Jasper and I sat side by side on the front porch steps and ate. He sighed, "You're a great cook. Maybe you can teach me sometime."

I nodded. We made easy conversation and finished eating before taking the dishes into the kitchen and sneaking back to the front porch to wait for them.

Eventually, Peter led Charlotte out to the front porch. She had already been crying and she shed a few more tears at the front porch, filled with twinkling lights and candles. Jasper sat on the porch swing with his cowboy hat and guitar and I sat on one of the stone ledges next to Jasper.

Peter was beaming at how happy his wife was. She was truly touched and it was pretty beautiful to see. Jasper began playing some Forever and Ever Amen and Charlotte laughed. Her and Peter danced around as best they could but the wide smiles of their faces proved that we had done good. Then Jasper started another song that I didn't recognize but his eyes never left mine as he sang it and my heart just melted…

_Look at us_

_After all these years together_

_Look at us_

_After all that we've been through_

_Look at us_

_Still leaning on each other_

_If you want to see_

_How true love should be_

_then just look at us_

Then he played Remember When and then some of Peter's favorites, I'd Love To Lay You Down and Slow Hand. Peter and Charlotte had a blast dancing and laughing and reminiscing. Then Jasper laughed, "Okay, Charlotte, I made Peter pull out his cowboy boots for this one cuz I saw you dancing in the kitchen to this a few weeks ago."

Then he started singing Boots On and it was everything I could do to keep my hands to myself. I wanted his boots off…and the shirt…and maybe the jeans…he could keep the hat on though…

_Good God my thoughts have went in the gutter…_

And how on earth is it possible for someone to be so damn sexy? His knee was moving and his body was swaying…his eyes would close…he was just amazing…

_Man, I've been workin too hard_

_Ten hour days and I'm tired_

_Damn this knuckle busted',back breakin', no paying job_

_Know where I'm goin from here_

_Hot headed women, cold beer_

_Kick up my heels for a little while_

_and do it country style_

_In my dirty 'ole hat_

_with my crooked little grin_

_Granny beaded neck_

_and these calloused hands_

_And a muddy pair of jeans_

_with that copenhagen ring_

_No need to change a thing, _

_hey y'allI'm going out with my boots on_

_How I keep catching her eye_

_Man, I keep wondering why_

_Ain't nothing special 'bout_

_an "awe shucks" country boy_

_Lord, she's sure lookin' good_

_Like something from Hollywood_

_She got me thinkin' that I just might_

_leave here with her tonight_

_In my dirty 'ole hat_

_with my crooked little grin_

_Granny beaded neck_

_and these calloused hands_

_And a muddy pair of jeans_

_with that copenhagen ring_

_No need to change a thing,_

_hey y'all I'm going out with my boots on_

When the song was over, Charlotte was laughing so hard she was crying. They decided to call it a night. They gave us hugs and told us how special and lovely their evening was. Peter knew we were going camping on his lake tonight so he told us to go ahead and use his horses, Smokey and Aggie because it was starting to get dark out.

Jasper and I first went to the kitchen and washed the dishes so Charlotte wouldn't wake up to a mess. Then Jasper led me out to the stables. I was pretty nervous because I had never ridden a horse before.

I carried his guitar on my back and he carried the duffle bag. I had no clue how to get up on the horse and Jasper watched me for a moment in amusement. Finally, he came up behind me and whispered, "Want a little help?"

I nodded and he took the guitar from me and showed me how to step up on the horse and swing my leg over. I did as he showed me and finally got up on the thing. I was still really nervous and I asked, "Um…this horse won't like…go real fast or jump or anything, right?"

He laughed and said, "Scoot forward a little and hold this." He handed me the duffle bag and I scooted forward. He easily jumped on behind me with his guitar on his back. His arms reached around me and grabbed the reigns. He whispered into my neck, "Relax, Eddie. I won't let you get hurt."

I relaxed because I knew he wouldn't. And we took off slowly out of the barn and through the woods. We didn't have to worry about anyone seeing us…we were completely free. It was exhilarating.

When we emerged from the woods and came upon the lake…I was in awe. It was beautiful. The full white moon shone down on the black lake. It was the only light out there. The only sound you could hear was the crickets chirping. It was completely peaceful.

Jasper got off the horse first and helped me off. Then I watched as he quickly built a fire and tied the horse up. He was completely in his element out here and it was really something to watch him.

He rolled out the sleeping bag…only one.

I raised an eyebrow and he just smiled, "There's nobody around us for miles 'cept Peter and Charlotte and they're not coming out here. I figured what's the point…you know we'd end up in the same sleeping bag before the night was over anyway."

I just smiled, "You're probably right."

He pulled out some pajama pants and t-shirts. We changed quickly and still didn't look at each other while we did it.

I sat down on the sleeping bag and sat down across from me. We talked a little while about how well everything had went tonight for Peter and Charlotte. I was really proud of how good Jasper did.

Then he reached over and grabbed his guitar. I could see the faint blush in his cheeks as the soft flames of the campfire lit up his perfect face. He smiled, "Um…I learned another song. Would you listen to it and tell me what you think?"

I smiled and sat Indian style in front of him, "Of course, Jay."

He took a deep breath and his eyes closed. I listened to the words intently and I think I held my breath the entire time…

_I used to cry out in the middle of the night _

_Baby hold me tight_

_But there was nobody beside me when I opened my eyes _

_Now I turn the corner of those days and nights _

_Something inside me changed and I think I might_

_Be starting over I don't wanna run _

_Oh no, cause you might be the one, baby _

His eyes opened and never left mine as he sang the rest of the song…

_If ever I could love _

_I think it could be with you _

_If ever I thought I _

_found somebody so true _

_I wonder if you feel _

_The same way that I do _

_If ever I could love _

_I think it could be with you _

_You know I can't read your mind my love _

_But it seems to me _

_That your heart and mine tonight are Defying gravity _

_There's something so familiar _

_And still so unknown _

_The closer that we get I swear it feels like coming home _

_And I'm ready to be brave _

_Oh yea then you look at me and say baby _

_If ever I could love I think it could be with you _

_If ever I thought I _

_found somebody so true _

_I wonder if you feel _

_The same way that I do _

_If ever I could love I think it could be with you _

When he was done, my mind was reeling.

_Is he saying…is he in love with me? Is he saying that he could possibly love me? What's he saying?_

My heart was racing as he pulled the guitar from his lap and placed it back in the case. Then he looked back at me through deep blue eyes and whispered, "So, what did ya think?"

I took a deep breath before answering, "Um…it was beautiful, Jay. Did it…um…did it mean anything?"

He smiled, "Yeah, it did."

Then he started laughing and held in his face in his hands for just a moment. When he looked up at me he just shook his head, "Fuck it…Edward, I think I might be in love with you. How do you feel about me?"

I was floored…ecstatic, blissful, peaceful, happy beyond belief but still shocked.

I looked down to the ground for a minute trying to get some sort of rational thought in my head. "Uh…I think…um…"

Then I felt his knees against mine as he scooted forward until we were touching. He lifted my chin to look at him and whispered, "Breath, Eddie. It's okay, I won't be mad if you don't feel the same way…"

I shook my head and laughed, "Are you crazy? I'm just really shocked that you feel the same way I do. I just…wow. I'm crazy about you, Jay. I think about you all the time…I don't want you with anyone else…I think I might be in love with you too."

He smiled and slowly leaned me back until I was flat on the ground. He slipped the side of the sleeping bag up and around us before zipping us up together. Then he leaned down and kissed me. We didn't do much more talking that night. We just kissed all night long and tangled our legs and arms as we slept.

The sun woke us up, and it was the most wonderful feeling to wake up still completely tangled in him. I watched his beautiful face as he slept and I couldn't believe that he really wanted me. I was looking forward to the rest of the summer now that we could be completely honest with each other.

I knew we still had a lot of things to talk about, but for now…we were happy and together and that's all that mattered.

**Hey guys, check out my collab one shot with AutumnOtts for the Halloween contest. It's a J/B story called A Virgin's Halloween Sacrifice!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter...**

**Playlist:Skinny Dippin by Whitney Duncan, Watch the Wind Go By by Tim McGraw, Let It Go by Tim McGraw**

**Jasper's POV**

_God I can't believe how nervous I was all day about this…_

I looked down at Edward asleep in my arms and couldn't help but smile.

_He thinks he might be in love with me too…_

_I'm really gonna have to thank Peter for his help. _

I thought back to the fishing trip we had and remembered everything he told me…

"_Hey Peter? How'd you know that Charlotte was the one?"_

_He laughed as he hooked the bait to his line, "Well son, I think the most important thing about being in love is to be friends first. Me and Charlotte were friends since we were 12 years old. I remember thinkin how lucky I was that she would actually wanna be friends with someone like me…she was way too good for me…I was a little wild in my younger days."_

_I sat on the bank and squinted up at him, "I think I might be in love with someone whose too good for me too. It's kinda complicated…but I think about this person all the time and we always have so much fun together…and even when we're not doing anything fun, I still wanna be with them. But we're really good friends and I'm afraid to say anything cuz I don't wanna lose them."_

_He took a seat next to me and wiped the sweat from his brow, "Let me give you a little advice, son…now that Charlotte's sick and I know my time with her is comin to an end…I'd give anything in this world to get back those years that I lost with her cuz I was afraid of what might happen. Trust me on this, young fella…life is too short to be afraid of what __**might **__happen. If you want something, you just gotta go for it. Things may not work out the way you hope…but then again, they might work out even better. Don't waste your years, son. Don't waste 'em being angry at your past cuz it ain't gonna do you no good…don't waste 'em being afraid or worryin what anyone else thinks…if you think you're in love, then plan something nice and lay it all out there…you might be surprised."_

Edward shifted in his sleep and his leg hooked up over mine. My arms were around his back so I just pulled him closer and breathed him in.

_I don't know how or why I was falling for Edward but I was positive that it was happening. Ever since that night with Maria, things have been different. I had to start asking myself some serious questions about why I had to fake everything when I was with a girl but not with Edward. I knew that I thought Edward was the best person I had ever known and as far as personality went…he was incredible. But, did I find him attractive?_

_Hell fuckin yeah I did…_

_I always thought of him as a cute guy but…what the fuck happened! Edward has become seriously fuckin hot these last few months. I mean…seriously fuckin hot. He's gotten taller so now I only have a couple of inches on him. Those bright green eyes are beyond beautiful and his bronze fuckin sex hair is starting to drive me crazy. His jaw line is strong and his face has lost the roundness in his cheeks. I just wanted to bite and suck and lick that damn jaw line of his every time we were together…_

_The first day we were working together and he took off his shirt and turned his ball cap backwards, it was everything I could do to hide my fuckin boner all day. Him and that god damn ball cap. His body is really starting to develop too and fuck me if Edward Cullen isn't all kinds of fuckable..._

_His back is strong but lean and his shoulders are starting to broaden. And yeah, his fuckin abs are starting to look damn good, especially since we started working. His legs were strong and muscular but lean and long. And fuck it…his ass is really fuckin nice. I've done good so far keeping my hands off of it but every part of my body screams at me to just grab and squeeze. And then there's that little dip right above his ass at the end of his spine…I just wanna dip my tongue in it… _

_But I digress…yeah, Edward is fuckin gorgeous but he's also really sweet and smart and fun to be with. He has no idea how beautiful he is. He treats me better than anyone ever has and he does all these really nice little things that just kinda make me…melt. So, yeah, I was pretty sure that I was falling in love with him and after talkin to Peter, I figured, fuck it…I'm gonna be brave and see what happens because I think there could really be something special between us. I never really believed in the idea of soul mates…hell, I didn't even believe in love until Edward, but now…he's just gotta be the one for me. I can just feel it with everything I have…_

_And then, he gave me the most incredible orgasm of my life…and he never even touched it. I've had hand jobs and blow jobs and I've fucked way more than any boy my age really should have…but I've never really enjoyed it. I mean, yeah I've gotten off and enjoyed the physical part of it to some degree but I've never just been all the way in it, mind, body, and soul cuz it's never felt 'right' to me. But I wanted to give Edward all of me cuz I wanted all of him and everything with him felt like how I always thought it should feel…just perfect. But I really wanted to try and do this right. I knew we should try and take things slow. I wanted to be physical with him because he was really hot and beautiful and good at every fuckin thing…but I wanted his heart too. I wanted him to love me back. _

_So, I had been trying really hard to think of something nice to do but honestly, I don't have much experience at this 'love' thing…hell, I have no experience at it. But I knew he liked to watch me sing and play so I thought that would be a good idea…and singin helps calm me down. Being out here in the woods helped too. I'm in my element here. On this farm and in these woods…I felt like me again. I thought that maybe whoever I was gonna be, got destroyed slowly throughout the years but Peter helped show me that I'm still that same boy…or at least I could be. I could be good…I could do something with my life…_

_I've been totally clean for a little over a week now…I know it's not much but, it's something. I figured that was probably the first step in making myself good enough for him. But, it's easy to live in the real world when it consists of being on the farm or being with Edward…what's gonna happen when the summer ends and I have to go back home? Will I be able to handle it?_

_And now that me and Edward are together…wait, I didn't ask him if this meant we were together…can we even be together, like a couple? I know I really could give a fuck less what anyone at school thinks…hell, I don't even like those assholes and I could always just kick their asses if they fuck with us…although, I really do need to try and stop fightin so much…I need to work on my temper…_

_But, Edward will care what they think. He's worked so hard to fit in, I'm sure he's gonna wanna keep this a secret. That's fine by me too, I'll do whatever he wants. _

_And what would Carlisle and Esme think? I do care what they think…will they hate me? Shit, they sure as hell wouldn't let me stay the night anymore, that's for damn sure. And although I could give a flyin fuck what my mom thinks…she would tell my dad and he'd probably drive all the way out here just so he could kill me…_

_God, three more years and I'll be 18 and finally be able to start really living my life…I'm gonna cut out my mom and dad from my life permanently…I just hope me and Edward can make it that long…_

Finally, I drifted off to sleep, holding onto Edward and looking forward to waking up with him still in my arms.

***************************************************************************************************************

I felt him before I opened my eyes and saw him. He was warm and his long legs were wrapped around mine. He had one hand resting on my chest…over my heart. I slowly lifted my sleepy eyes and was met with forest green ones.

I closed my eyes and just pulled him closer. I nuzzled my nose into his warm neck and took a deep breath. Still half asleep, the southern boy in me was coming out thick when I whispered , "Mornin' darlin."

He laughed softly into my ear, "Good morning, babe."

And then we both just started laughing. I finally opened my eyes fully and looked at the beautiful boy in my arms, "Is it weird that I called you darlin?"

He smiled with flushed cheeks, "No…it was pretty cute actually."

I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I laid on my side and he rested his head on my shoulder. I don't ever remember being this happy. He was curled into me and he brought his leg up over my hip. His long leg wrapped around my hip and he started using it as leverage to pull himself closer. Hell, it didn't matter how close he got…he could never get close enough in my opinion. My hands slid up the back of his t-shirt and began kneading the warm skin beneath my fingertips. He brought his soft lips to mine and he placed a few chaste kisses on my lips before his head tilted and his fingers slid into my hair. His tongue traced my bottom lip before sucking it gently between his lips and teeth.

I moaned as I parted my lips and tasted him.

_Fuck…he tastes so good…_

Then he pulled himself against me and pushed his mornin wood into mine. I pulled away from his mouth with a load groan, "Fuck that feels good…"

He licked his tongue from my neck to my earlobe before pulling it gently between his teeth. He whispered, "I want you, Jay...please…"

_Well good God man, how the hell am I supposed to be good when he says things like that…_

Edward had this way of making me feel…well, high. That's the only way I can really describe it. He was better than any drug I ever had and I figured he was the better addiction.

Since we were on our sides I decided to let him have the power and I rolled over on my back, pulling him on top of me. He was rock fuckin hard and from what I've felt…Eddie's packin some serious heat…which was both fuckin amazing and fuckin terrifying at the same time. His legs were on either side of my waist and he laid on top of me trapping our hard cocks between us, the thin material of our pajama pants did little to mask the throbbing and twitching we were eliciting from each other. His hot breath on my neck from his ragged breathing and his soft moans were starting to drive me wild…

_You really should stop this…_

_but he wants me…_

_it's too fast…_

_he feels so fuckin good…_

_Who am I to deny him what he wants…_

_Too fast…_

_Must grab and squeeze…_

I just couldn't stop my hands from trailing down his smooth back and then my fingertips dug into the soft flesh at the waist band of his pants before pushing their way underneath the flimsy material and grabbing two handfuls of that luscious ass…

_Fuckin heaven…_

He moaned, "Oh God Jay…" and then he lifted his head. His pretty green eyes were clouded with lust and his sexy cherry lips were parted from shallow breaths. He sat back on my hands giving me full permission to squeeze and knead his perfect cheeks…

He ripped his shirt over his head then crashed his lips to mine. His hard chest was pressed against mine as his hands slid under my shirt and grabbed my hips. He began moving himself against me…our cocks sliding against each other through the thin material.

His kiss was deep and thick with want and need. His tongue was exploring every area of my mouth as his teeth nipped and grazed my lips. No one could kiss like Edward. And the feel of his firm body moving against mine was starting to make me fuckin delirious…

My hands slid around to his hips and my fingers clenched hot skin and encouraged his movements…

He broke away from my lips as his head fell back with a long moan. My breathing was ragged at the sight of this beautiful boy above me coming completely undone.

He quickened his pace and started grinding his hips hard against mine. I gripped his hips and started thrusting myself up against him. Both of our breathing was now erratic and filled with grunts and moans and whimpers. I could feel that familiar tingle signaling that I was getting close…

I looked up at him…his eyes were closed and his head hung down as he drew in shaky breaths. I continued rubbing my fingers along the smooth skin of his hips and started rubbing my thumbs in circles over his hipbones.

He was grunting and moaning as his breaths became more shallow. He whispered, "Fuck…gonna cum…"

Hearing Edward talk like that was almost enough to push me over the edge…almost. Instead I looked down at where I had stretched the material of his pants out while I made room for my roaming hands. I saw his lower stomach muscles begin to tighten…my eyes traveled further south until they saw bronze curls…then even further south where I could only see the head of his cock as he came in thick white spurts against the thin material.

That sight threw me over as I called out, "Oh fuck Edward…" I came harder than I ever had as my back arched and I went completely light headed before just collapsing to the ground. He collapsed on top of me as we both struggled to contain our breathing and trembled occasionally from aftershocks.

I was on cloud fuckin nine…all I could feel was…bliss…how I got so lucky to find someone like him, I'll never know but I thank whatever God is listening for him cuz if Heaven existed, I was in it.

After a minute, he sighed, "Wow."

I laughed softly as he smiled against my neck, "Yeah. My thoughts exactly."

He raised up and kissed me gently again before sitting up and shifting his pants uncomfortably. I smiled, "Maybe we oughta get cleaned up." He nodded and looked out over the lake. His cheeks were flushed, his hair was crazier than usual, and he wore a sweet smile on his face.

_He's thinkin about what we just did…_

"What'cha thinkin about, Eddie?" I sit up next to him with my legs sprawled out in front of me and leaning back on my hands. His knees are pulled up to his chest and his arms are wrapped loosely around them.

His cheeks turned pink, "Um…swimming?"

I nodded, "Hey that's a good idea. Wanna go swimming?"

He smiled at me, "Yeah. Did you bring our trunks?"

I stood up and shook my head, "No. We'll just have to go skinny dippin."

He looked at me like I was crazy and I laughed, "Edward, we need to get cleaned up. We'll keep our eyes and our hands to ourselves. You've probably never been skinny dippin before, have you?"

He shook his head. I smiled, "Well, Edward, if I gotta play in the snow…you gotta go skinny dippin. It's part of being a teenager…we do stupid shit like this…it's kinda our thing."

He laughed, "Okay."

I pulled my shirt off and he turned around shyly as he decided if he was gonna take his pants off. I laughed, "You're so funny, Eddie. Well, stay turned around unless you _wanna _look at me…and honestly, who wouldn't?"

He laughed, "God Jay! You're so blunt."

I threw my pants and boxer briefs to the ground and smiled at the beautiful shy boy whose head kept minutely turning towards me. "Yeah, I am." I knew I was blunt…I just didn't feel the need to pussy foot around shit. If I thought something, I'd likely say it.

I grabbed my junk and jumped into the cool water. It felt amazing. The sun was bearing down hot but the water remained cool and soothing.

I broke through to the surface and pushed my hair outta my eyes. I looked at the bank at Edward. He was standing there looking at me, still blushing.

He called out to me, "Turn around."

So I did. But I shouted out to him, "Hey Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure to hold your dick and balls when you jump cuz if they smack the water, that shit hurts like a son of a bitch."

I could hear him laughing and he finally managed out, "Thanks for the warning."

A minute later I heard the splash and felt the water ripple around me. I turned around as he came outta the water lookin ten different kinds of sinful.

He pushed his hair back and rubbed the water from his eyes. When he opened them, he sighed, "This feels fantastic."

I smiled back, "See, told ya."

True to our word, we didn't touch each other. Instead, we just swam around, splashed each other, and just…had fun.

He was treading the water just a couple feet in front of me with a beautiful grin on his face. I returned it and worked up the nerve to start the talk I wanted to have, "Hey Eddie?"

"Yeah?"

"We should probably talk about…um, last night and what it means?"

He bit his lip for a moment and nodded. I knew I'd have to lead this conversation, "I meant what I said. This is more than just physical for me. Do you feel the same way?"

He nodded and smiled.

_I love shy Eddie…_

"Okay, good. Well, how do ya wanna do this then?"

He shrugged, "I don't have a clue. I was kind of hoping you'd know how this works. This would be a lot easier if you were a girl…"

He chuckled and I splashed him, "If I was a girl, you wouldn't like me."

He laughed and smiled, "I think I'd like you no matter what you were."

Then I thought about something he had said a few months ago, "Do you still wanna try dating girls, Edward?"

He took a deep breath and shook his head, "Honestly…no. I just want to be with you. I wish this wasn't so hard."

I sighed, "Yeah, I know, I wish it wasn't either. But even if it's hard, I still wanna try. I think it'll be worth it."

He smiled softly at me, "Yeah, me too." Then he tilted his head and looked away, "Um…what about you? Do you still want to date girls?"

I smiled, "No, Eddie. I'm in love with you, remember?"

He smiled and blushed, "I love you too, Jay."

Now I was blushing…_damn boy's the only person in this world to make me blush. _

We were quiet for a moment when he finally spoke quietly, "So, what do you think we should do?"

I thought for a minute and sighed, "Um…well, I guess we just keep on the way we are. As long as we watch what we say and do around people, they'll never know. And if one day you're comfortable telling people, then we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I guess I'm saying that we should just take our time and go slow with this since neither one of us knows exactly what we're doing. I just want this to work."

He smiled, "Me too." Then I saw him shiver.

"You ready to get out, Edward?"

He nodded so I turned around, "Go ahead and get out first. I did bring a couple of towels."

I heard him get out of the water, "So you brought towels but no swimming trunks?" He asked his question with suspicion and I laughed, "Fine, I'm busted. I totally planned on goin skinny dippin with you. I wanted to do it last night but you distracted me."

He was laughing and finally he called out, "Okay, I'm dressed."

I turned around and swam back to the shore. Edward turned around and I got out and pulled on a pair of boxers and jean shorts. I was kinda tired now from swimming all morning. I scooted back on the sleeping bag and laid down on my back with my arm under my head, "What time do you gotta be home, Edward?"

He yawned, "Um…whenever. My mom just said to call her whenever we were ready."

I looked up at him, "Wanna take a nap before we head back?"

He nodded and yawned again. He laid down next to me and threw his arm over my chest and his leg over mine as he snuggled into my neck. I had one arm around his back and the other still behind my head. I closed my eyes and got lost in the perfection of this moment. Me and Edward lying here, completely free, tangled up in each other with the warm sun shining down on us and the cool breeze washing through. It didn't take long until we were both sleeping.

I woke up first and just laid there watching him, completely content. He looked so peaceful. I noticed that he never had nightmares when I held him. They always started after I moved to the other side of the bed. I wish I could always hold him all night and keep them away but that was impossible for the time being.

He finally started stirring. He opened his sleepy green eyes and I smiled, "Afternoon, darlin."

He laughed, "You remember what happened last time you called me darlin? Do you really want a repeat performance?"

I nodded, "Yep." And I leaned forward and kissed his soft lips gently. I smiled, "But, I'm starving and I know you gotta be too."

He nodded, "Yeah."

We got up and packed up our bag. We decided to walk the horse back to the stable and once we got there, I went ahead and fed the horses before we headed to the house. We were walking up through the back field when I saw Charlotte hanging up clothes on a clothesline.

She smiled brightly when she saw us, "Hey boys! Did ya'll have a good time at the lake?"

We both nodded and then I said, "Charlotte, why don't you relax a little and let me hang this up for you? It's not good for your back."

She smiled, "You're such a good boy, Jasper. You too, Edward. What you boys did for me last night was truly something special. You two are something else when you put your heads together."

We just smiled and I began hanging up the laundry. Charlotte smiled at Edward, "Dear, I was gonna make some fried green tomatoes…would you like to help an old woman out?"

I turned at the mention of that, "I _love _fried green tomatoes…I haven't had them since I was a little kid."

She smiled, "Well, I got me a whole mess of 'em, son."

Edward smiled, "I'd love to help you, Charlotte. I like to cook and since they're Jasper's favorite, I'd like to know how to make them."

_He's so sweet…thank God he can cook cuz Lord knows I can't cook for shit…_

I kept hanging up the laundry when Peter came from around the house and spotted me. He laughed, "Charlotte put you to work, huh?"

I smiled at him, "No, I volunteered. Besides, she's making fried green tomatoes."

Peter rubbed his belly, "Mmm…"

I laughed since he kinda looked like Homer Simpson when he did that. He came over and started helping me with the laundry, "So, did you boys have a good time last night?"

I nodded, "Yeah it was great. Thanks so much for letting us use it."

He smiled, "You can use it anytime you want, son. This place is as much yours as it is ours."

I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found someone like Peter and Charlotte too.

"Thanks, Peter."

He nodded and raised an eyebrow, "Well, son…how did it go? What did he say?"

I smiled and turned to him, "He loves me…too….Peter, how did you…" I suddenly realized that he said "he."

I could feel my heart starting to beat faster…

_He knows…_

He smiled warmly at me, "Well, for one thing…you look at him, the way I look at Charlotte. And I've seen you boys working together…he can barely keep his eyes off of you. So he loves you too, huh? That's great news, son."

I was floored, "You mean…you're not like grossed out or think I'm a weirdo or anything?"

Peter chuckled and motioned over to the picnic table for us to sit down. We both sat on the top and he looked up at the sky and took a deep breath.

"I'm 76 years old, son. I've seen so much in my lifetime and one lesson that I've learned…some things just aren't important. You love him, he loves you…so to hell with everything else. It's just not important cuz 50 years from now when you look back…the only thing that will matter is that you loved and you took a shot. No regrets, son. If you never take a chance in life, you may miss out on something pretty damn good. So my best piece of advice…if people don't like what you're doing…fuck em. It's your life, live it."

I laughed at how he just knew exactly what to say. He was a crotchety old bastard…just like I'm sure I'll be when I'm his age. "Thanks, Peter. I will."

He turned and looked at me with a more serious expression on his face, "Son, can I ask you something?"

I nodded, "Of course, Peter."

He sighed, "I know your home life's pretty rough, son. And you know that Charlotte's not doing too well. I was thinkin that if you ever needed a place to stay, you could stay here. I could use the help and the company. I'd pay ya of course. We have a spare bedroom and me and Charlotte love having you around."

I was really kinda…touched.

"Peter, if I stayed here, you wouldn't have to pay me. I'll think about it. I don't deserve to have such good people in my life like you and Charlotte.."

He cut me off, "Bullshit! Now I want you to listen to me, son, and listen good…you are a good boy. You deserve people to treat you right. But I see that wildfire in your eye, son. I have that same one…that wildfire in your eye tells me just how easily you can go one way or the other. I spent so much time in my youth believing that I wasn't worth nothing…so I acted like how they thought I would. I drank and ran wild and got into trouble at every turn because I believed my pa when he told me that I weren't no good. Don't you believe 'em, son. You are a good boy who can do good things and live one hell of a good life…but you gotta let all that bullshit go, Jasper. Anger…rage…hate…those things will consume you from the inside out if you let 'em. You gotta let it go, son. Just let it all go."

_I swear, he's gotta be like a guardian angel or something…_

"I will, Peter. I'm trying real hard already. I think if I'm away from my mom that I have a better shot of staying outta trouble. I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

He smiled and squeezed my shoulder, "Well, you're doin a lot for us too, son. Now, c'mon…I can smell then fried green maters from here."

******************************************************************************************************************

The summer had been amazing so far. School started in a couple weeks and I was dreading it so I was determined to make the most of these last two weeks of Heaven. Edward and I had been together pretty much the entire summer. On the rare occasion that we weren't together, I was crashing at Peter's house.

I loved it out there. It was quiet and peaceful. I could think out there without my mind running all wild. Peter and Charlotte usually went to bed by 8pm so I had the place to myself at night…and I was a night owl. I would sit out on the porch at night and just think. Sometimes I would walk out to the barn or through the fields.

But tonight I was lying on the couch watching TV waiting for Edward to call me. He had to go to some family thing and wasn't getting back until late. I switched my phone to vibrate so it wouldn't wake up Peter and Charlotte.

I must've fallen asleep because the vibration in my hand woke me up. I pulled the phone to my ear and whispered, "Hey babe."

He laughed softly, "Hey. You were sleeping, Jay…I should let you get back to sleep."

I took a deep breath and yawned as I tried to wake up, "No, baby. I'm awake now and I wanna talk to you. I was waiting for you to call me."

"Alright, but if you want to go back to sleep, just let me know."

"Will do, Eddie. Now tell me about your day."

I got up and crept out to the back porch. I sat down on the steps and pulled out a cigarette. I mean, gimme a break, I quit drinking and pot and pills…I wasn't quite ready to let go of everything.

I took a drag as Edward told me about visiting his Aunt Donna and her baby boy. He had felt awkward and uncomfortable for most of the day because of all the people there…but he liked it when he made faces at the baby and he would giggle.

"You like kids, Edward?" I asked.

He laughed, "Not really…I like babies. Babies are pure…innocent…kids suck."

Now I laughed, "Yeah…I never really pictured myself with kids. How about you? You want kids someday?"

He was quiet for a moment and then he sighed, "No."

The way he said it struck me as odd, "What's wrong, Edward?"

"Nothing, Jay."

But I could tell something was off, "Tell me, Edward. Please."

He took a deep breath and spoke quietly, "My dad was a paranoid schizophrenic who murdered my mom and nearly murdered me when he was experiencing paranoid delusions. He heard voices in his head and saw demons and angels. Schizophrenia is hereditary. And coupled with abuse the chances that I could have it are much higher. My blood is tainted. And even though it's just a possibility…I would never want to risk a child getting it because of my bad blood."

_I didn't know much about the disease so I didn't really know what to say…_

"Edward, you know it's just a possibility, not a certainty. There's nothing wrong with you."

He was quiet for a minute and then said, "So, um, how was your day?"

I wasn't going to push him to talk to me about it so we just talked for awhile about nothing in-particular. Finally he yawned for the third time and I whispered, "Eddie, go to bed. I'll see you in the mornin."

He yawned again and whispered, "I wish you were here."

"Me too. Just call me when you wake up."

He sighed, "Okay, Jay. Good night."

"Hey, call me if you have a bad nightmare. I'm keeping my phone on vibrate so I'll feel it, okay?"

"You don't have to do that, Jay."

I yawned, "I know you can handle yourself, Edward but please call me if you need me."

"Okay, I promise. Thanks, Jay."

"Night, darlin."

"Night, babe."

I finished my cigarette and went to the room I was staying in. I opened the window and crawled in bed.

The vibrating under my cheek woke me up.

_Edward…_

"Edward, what's wrong?" I woke up quickly because I knew how bad his nightmares could get and I knew that I was going over there.

I heard him crying and heard the sound of running water in the background. I had already pulled on my jeans and was pulling on my boots, "I'm on my way, Edward. Just hang on, baby."

He whimpered but didn't say anything. I wrote out a quick note to Peter and ran out to the barn. Peter had an old bike in there he didn't use and I knew it would be faster than running.

A minute later I was racing as fast as I could to his house. I stayed on the phone with him the whole way there but couldn't get him to speak. On bike it still took me almost half an hour to get to Edward's.

I left the bike sitting out of sight in the woods and ran around to the back of the house to his window. The alarm was on the doors, but not the windows.

"Edward, I'm here. Is your window unlocked?"

I heard a barely whispered, "Yeah."

I started climbing the tree that led up to his window. I still held onto the phone as I climbed. Once I got to his window, I pushed it up and crawled in.

I took a quick breath to prepare myself and walked into the bathroom. I flipped my phone shut and laid it on the counter. Edward was sitting in the bathtub, in his pajamas with the shower running.

_Fuck…_

I quickly turned the water off and he whimpered. "I'm here, Edward…" I crawled in there with him. He was wet and shaking as he rocked back and forth with his legs up and his arms wrapped around them tightly. I picked him up and slid underneath him so that he was in my lap. I rocked him for a few minutes, "It's okay, baby. Breathe, darlin…I'm here…no one's gonna hurt you with me around."

He whimpered and let go of his legs to throw his arms around me. He continued crying softly as I held him. He would be like this for a bit. These nightmares he had were terrifying. He usually dreamt different memories of what happened the night his father went crazy but they morphed into visions of demons chasing him. He would dream that he was in the trunk of his father's car. The car was old and rusted and it had been thunder storming that night. The rain seeped into the trunk and got him wet. He could hear his dad screaming that the angels were crying because he had damned them all to Hell…but Edward had believed that an angel would save him. He thought that God would never allow a child to be hurt. I think that's why he always ended up curled up in the bathtub with the shower going…that was the last time he held hope before that bastard destroyed him.

The first night he had one like this was when we came back from our camping trip. It scared the shit outta me cuz I just woke up to see that he was gone and then I found him in the bathroom doing this same thing.

I held onto him tight as I rocked him, not caring about the fact that he was soaking wet. I whispered, "It was just a dream, baby. There's no one here but you and me. You're safe, darlin. None of it was real. You think I'd let anyone hurt you?"

He shook his head as his breathing started calming and his cries stopped. I kissed his forehead and whispered, "That's right, Eddie. I won't ever let anyone hurt you again, baby. I'll always keep you safe…"

He was shivering by the time he calmed down and I whispered, "We've gotta get some dry clothes on you, babe." He nodded and tightened his grip around my neck. I lifted us both up and he set his feet on the ground. I helped him out of the tub and kept one arm around him for support as I grabbed a towel from the bathroom closet.

I threw it over my shoulder and grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt. It was difficult to peel it off with one hand but I managed. "Put your hands on my shoulders, baby." He did as I asked and I hooked my thumbs into his pajama pants and boxers and peeled them down his wet body.

I grabbed the towel and began drying him off. Then I wrapped it around his waist and put my arm back around him. I led him to the bed and sat him down. I quickly locked his bedroom door and pulled him some dry clothes out. I helped him get dressed and once he was comfortable, I changed outta my wet clothes quickly. I crawled into bed and he snuggled into my chest. I played with his hair and rubbed his back until he was ready to talk.

After awhile, I felt his lips against my chest and he whispered, "I'm so sorry Jay…"

"Don't be, Edward. Are you okay?"

He nodded and looked up at me through bright green eyes with a crooked grin on his face, "You're an angel, Jasper."

I laughed, "I'm no angel, baby."

He quickly got up and straddled me. He leaned down to my ear and whispered, "Yes you are…I saw your wings." And then he's kissing me almost frantically. As good as it feels…I'm terrified at this moment because something is off with Edward.

I pull away and hold his face to look in his eyes and they are bright…almost wild. "Edward, what are you talking about?" My heartbeat is racing as he smiles, "When you opened the trunk to rescue me before the demon broke me…you rescued me and I saw your wings."

"Baby, are you talking about your dream?"

He looks at me and I can see the confusion on his face for just a moment until his eyes close and he pinches the bridge of his nose, "Yeah, Jay. I'm sorry…my dream just freaked me out a bit."

He looked up at me and his eyes were softer, "I'm okay now. I'm sorry if I scared you."

I kissed his soft lips just once and pulled him into a hug, "Tell me what happened, Edward."

We laid down and he curled into me, "Um…it was just a crazy dream…I don't want to talk about it."

I was almost in tears and officially freaked out, "Please tell me, Edward. I need to know, okay? Please."

He sighed and closed his eyes, "It started different this time. You and me were in the forest having a snowball fight. Everything was perfect…but then I started seeing these shadows in the woods. They were demons and they were calling your name. They were sneaking up on you but you couldn't see them…you heard them though and you turned to go to them. I followed after you but you were just…gone. I was terrified. I ran through the woods screaming for you and I finally fell to my knees and curled up. Then I felt the rain and heard it beating against the trunk of the car. I opened my eyes and I was six years old again and in that trunk praying to God to save me. Then you opened the trunk and the sunlight flashed against you and it just illuminated you. You had wings. The next thing I remember is you being in the tub with me. I'm sorry, Jay."

I shed just a couple of tears before pulling his chin up to look at him, "Edward…I think we should tell your dad about these dreams…"

He sat up and shook his head, "No, Jay! It's not a big deal…I've just been really stressed lately with high school getting ready to start and everything. It will be fine. I promise. Please, Jay…what if they put me in the hospital again? I can't leave you…please just give me a little more time. Everything will be okay."

My mind was reeling because I didn't know what to do…but maybe he was right. Maybe he was just stressed out and things would get better. Besides, what if they did try and take him away from me? Neither one of us would make it without the other.

"Okay, Edward. But please tell me every time anything like this happens, okay?"

He nodded and I rubbed my thumb across his cheek, "You sure you're alright now?"

He nodded again and gave me his sweet shy smile, "Yeah. I'm just really tired. Will you stay with me?"

I smiled and kissed his soft lips, "Always."

We snuggled under the blanket and he fell asleep. Once I was sure he was out, I slid out from under him and went to the window. I cracked it open and lit a cigarette. I was still freaked out about what happened to Edward and I needed to cry but didn't want to have a meltdown in front of him. So I had a small meltdown now that he was asleep. I felt better after a little while and I threw out my cigarette and crawled back into bed with Edward.

The next morning, I just snuck back down the tree and came to the front door. Mrs. C. let me in and I ate breakfast with them.

Edward didn't have any more nightmares for the next couple of weeks leading up to the start of school. So, our last two weeks were wonderful. We stayed together every night and we were together every day. But, sadly, all good things must come to an end and it was the night before our first day of high school. Back to being around all those assholes every day, pretending to give a shit…having to hide what I feel about Edward every day and dealing with the girls that are used to me flirting with them.

Yep, the summer had been Heaven and I was certain that high school was gonna be Hell.


	7. Chapter 7

**Song: When the Lights Go Out by The Black Keyes**

**Edward's POV**

This had been the best summer of my life. I hated that it was ending. So many things had changed these few short months. I was completely in love. And I could tell that he felt the same way. He was very affectionate which surprised me. Whenever we were alone he would call me pet names and he was always touching me, even if it was just holding hands or nudging our feet together. And I felt completely comfortable with him. I trusted him with everything. I was in love with my best friend, what could possibly be better than that?

And I've always thought Jasper was hot but now…it was everything I could do to keep my hands from roaming too freely. I remember the first day I got to live out my little cowboy hat fantasy…

_It had been three weeks ago and Peter and Charlotte were going to be gone all day for her chemo treatment. I was at the house helping Jasper take care of the horses…okay well I watched him take care of the horses…they still freaked me out a little. _

_He was wearing his old faded jeans that were torn some in the legs and hung low on his hips. He had that sexy black cowboy hat on with his messy blonde hair sticking out from underneath. He had on no shirt and I was licking my lips instinctively at the sight of little beads of sweat trailing down his back. God I wanted to lick him…_

_I mean for crying out loud…the boy was so hot I wanted to lick the sweat from his abs and his neck and his back and…other things._

_I watched as he stretched up to brush the pretty black horse. He was whispering to it like they shared a secret. And I could see the complete trust in both of their eyes. I always believed that animals have the instinctual ability to realize who they can and cannot trust. Animals gravitated to Jasper. If there was a stray dog outside, it followed him home, once we were at a McDonald's eating outside and a crow landed right next to him. My mom was freaking out and trying to shoo it away but Jasper just laughed and fed it a few French fries before it took off…and he's got some squirrels out here at Peter's house that will eat nuts right from his hand. _

_Animals stay away from me…_

_Once he was done brushing him, he went and grabbed the saddle, "I'm gonna take Smokie out for a little run…he needs to stretch his legs. Wanna come?"_

"_Um…I don't know about the whole 'running' thing…" I fidgeted and pulled my ball cap down low._

_He laughed, "Don't worry, Edward. Me and Smokie have an understanding…he knows how special you are to me and he won't get out of hand."_

_I shook my head and laughed, "Is that what you two were talking about?"_

_He nodded, "Yep. C'mon, babe…I wanna take you for a ride you'll never forget and I promise you won't regret…"_

_How the hell am I supposed to say no when he asks like that…_

_I reluctantly agreed and he helped me up on Smokie before jumping up behind me. He reached around and grabbed the reigns and we began trotting out of the barn and into the field. _

_We trotted around for a bit so I could get comfortable but I was having a pretty hard time getting comfortable having him pressed up against my backside. I could feel his breath on my neck and it only managed to heighten my awareness of our precarious position. _

_Then he let go of the reigns with one of his hands and my breathing shifted when he placed it on my thigh. He began rubbing it softly and I had to work on controlling my breathing from just the small contact._

_Slowly, his hand started sliding to my inner thigh and working it's way up. Then he whispered in my ear, "Ready to go a little faster, Eddie?" His words were enough to make my heart beat faster, but when they were combined with his sexy southern drawl and the honey of his breath…I knew without a doubt that I was ready to go a little faster._

_I managed a breathy, "Yeah I'm ready."_

_He chuckled softly against my neck and whispered, "Hold on tight, darlin."_

_He made a clicking noise and shuffled the reigns and we began going faster. It was actually a lot of fun because I felt completely safe with him. We galloped around for a little while and finally entered a path in the woods. _

"_You doin' okay, babe?" he asked against my neck. I nodded, "Yeah, Jay." Then I reached back and put my hand on his thigh and squeezed just a little. I could feel him start to harden against my back and I turned my head to look into his baby blue eyes, "I'm ready to go faster, Jay."_

_He flashed a wicked grin, "You sure about that, Edward?"_

_I licked my bottom lip and grinned crookedly at him, "Positive."_

_He leaned forward and brushed his soft lips against mine. Then he whispered, "Hold on, Edward. This ride is gonna get pretty wild."_

_I turned back around and held on tight. Jasper chided the horse and then we were racing through the forest. The trees were whipping by us and the wind was ripping through. It was exhilarating. I couldn't help the laughter that escaped my lips and I could hear his sweet angelic laughter in my ear._

_Once we reached the lake, he slowed the horse down to a trot and then stopped him. He leaned into my neck and his breath gave me goose bumps, "Wanna hang out by the lake for a little while?"_

_I nodded and he got off the horse and helped me down. He held my hand as we sat down on the soft grass. I watched the rise and fall of his tan, toned stomach and I couldn't stop myself from running fingertips across it. His breathing hitched and he leaned back on his elbows to give me better access._

_I looked up at him to see him watching my fingers on his stomach with a soft smile on his face. I brushed my fingertips across his stomach and around to his hip before finally resting it on the ground next to him. I slowly leaned over him and placed my leg on the other side of his waist as I now straddled his lap._

_His cowboy hat was pulled low, hiding his perfect face from me. I watched as he raised his hooded eyes to look into mine. He was still up on his elbows so I leaned down into his neck and placed soft wet kisses from his shoulder to his ear. He tilted his head to give me better access. When I reached his ear lobe, I sucked it gently between my lips and he let out a long sigh, "Mmm…"_

_I whispered, "Do you have any idea what you do to me in that damn cowboy hat?"_

_He laughed softly, "The same thing you do to me in that god damn ball cap."_

_Now I laughed and sat up, still on his lap, "Really?"_

_He smiled, "Yeah. I swear, boy, you do things to me that I can't even explain."_

_I smiled back, "I could say the same thing."_

_He sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist and mine went around his neck. He reached up and turned my cap backwards and whispered, "C'mere pretty boy."_

_I don't know why I loved it so much when he called me that but it always did something to me. I leaned forward and closed my eyes. His lips found mine easily because they knew where they belonged. We kissed all afternoon…_

I was pulled from my wonderful memory when Jasper came out of the bathroom, freshly showered and wearing only a pair of blue plaid pajama pants. His golden curls were damp and hanging down around his face.

It was the night before our first day of high school. He was staying the night and we were going to walk to school together in the morning. I was really nervous about starting school again. This summer had been so perfect…me and Jasper had lived in our own little world and I was dreading having to go back to the real world.

In our world, me and Jasper were in love. We could hold hands and kiss and do all the things that people who love each other do. But in the real world, we were just friends. No kissing. No affection that I had come to crave so intensely from him. And girls. Stupid, slutty girls who couldn't wait to dig their claws into _my _man. Just the thought of one of them stealing touches from him made my blood boil. He was mine and I just prayed that I could handle whatever was thrown my way this year.

I had been in bed waiting for him. He walked over to the door and locked it before pulling back the covers and crawling in beside me. I curled up next to him and my senses were filled with his natural pleasing scent. He sighed as he ran his fingers mindlessly through my hair.

"You nervous about school tomorrow, Edward?"

Now I sighed as I ran my fingers up and down his bicep, "Yeah."

He leaned down and kissed my lips softly. Just the feel of his soft pouty lips and bare chest against my shirted one caused me to harden almost instantly.

_Crap…I know he can feel that against his leg…_

He pulled away a bit and smirked, "You really should jerk off more, Edward."

I groaned in embarrassment and started to get out of bed to go take a cold shower. I muttered under my breath, "Wish I could…"

Then I felt him grab my arm, "Wait. What did you say?"

_God please kill me now…_

"Nothing, Jay. I'm going to go take a cold shower."

He let go of my arm and sat up, "Edward, wait a second."

I turned to look at him, embarrassed beyond belief and still hard as a rock.

"Babe, I didn't mean to embarrass you. But I need to ask you a question."

I looked down at the bed, "Okay."

He took a deep breath before whispering, "Edward, don't you masturbate?"

_Now God! Kill me now!_

I groaned again and hung my head down on my hands. I wanted to cry.

Instead I just shook my head.

He sounded concerned as he scooted up behind me and nuzzled into my neck, "Why, baby? No wonder you're so horny all the time…"

I groaned again and pulled away, "It's not funny…"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back down on the bed, "I wasn't making fun of you, Edward. You know better than that. But I'm a little concerned, babe. I mean, seriously, I have to jerk off like twice a day to keep from attacking you in public."

I chuckled a little and he put his hand on my chin to turn my face to his, "Tell me why. Please."

I looked down at my hands and then his breathing hitched. He reached out and took my hands in his. He brought them to his lips and kissed the palms. "It's your hands, huh?"

I nodded and continued looking at the bedspread. Every time I looked at my hands, all I could think of was that sick bastard's hands on top of them…squeezing them…his hands…my hands…almost one in the same.

Jasper was quiet for a moment and then he whispered, "Edward, I don't want things to move too fast between us because I really care about you and I want to take our time…but, maybe I could help you."

I looked up at him now, "What do you mean?"

He looked a little nervous and he spoke quietly, "Um…well, I could help you out this one time and give you something to focus on when you need to…um, do it on your own. Do you trust me?"

His baby blue eyes were penetrating mine, "Jay, you know I trust you."

He smiled, "Okay. Then I just want you to do as I say, okay?"

I nodded and tried to push away the butterflies in my stomach. He scooted back and sat against my headboard, "C'mere, baby."

I crawled up to him and he whispered, "Turn around with your back against my chest."

I did as he asked and sat in between his legs with my back against him. He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his Ipod, sitting it next to us. Then his hands went to the bottom of my t-shirt and began lifting it up. I raised my arms as he glided it off my body and set it down next to us.

I felt his lips against my shoulder and he started kissing me softly along my shoulder and neck and back. Then his hands started rubbing my shoulders and he whispered, "Just relax, baby."

I let out the breath that I had been holding and relaxed against his chest. After a few minutes, his hands began trailing down my sides until they were at the waist band of my pajama pants. He hooked his fingers into them and my boxer briefs. He whispered against my neck, "Lift up, darlin."

I took a deep breath and lifted my hips. He began slowly pushing my clothing down over my hips and down my thighs as my cock sprang free. He took a sharp breath and whispered, "Jesus, you're really big, Edward." My breathing was already accelerated and I whispered breathlessly, "You think so?"

His lips brushed underneath my ear and he whispered in his honey voice, "Your cock is beautiful, Edward. And one day, I'm gonna see if it tastes as delicious as it looks…"

I gulped and felt it twitch against my stomach. He pushed my clothes down to my knees and I lifted them to slide my clothes completely off. I felt his heavy panting in my ear and him start to harden through his pajama pants against my bare back.

_Shit…I'm completely naked in my bed with Jasper…_

Slowly, his rough hands trailed back up my thighs, leaving a path of fire from their touch. His lips were on my neck as he whispered with his deep southern drawl, "And one day, I'm gonna feel you inside of me as we make love for the very first time…"

My eyes closed and I groaned as my head fell back against his shoulder. His hands trailed over my stomach as his lips found mine. I felt his talented tongue brush across them and I parted my lips to taste him. We kissed deep as our tongues danced and explored one another. I could feel him twitching against my back.

Once I was so breathless I felt faint, I gently pulled away and gazed into his beautiful baby blues, "I always thought that…um, when we…when we were together that I would…um…be on the…uh…bottom."

I couldn't imagine Jasper relinquishing that kind of control…but the thought caused my cock to start aching from need. I don't know what I did in my life to have been so blessed with this beautiful, sexy, sweet as hell man, but I silently thanked whoever was responsible.

He smiled and whispered, "Oh you will, Edward but our first time, I want to be. And knowing you as well as I do…I'm sure I'll really fuckin enjoy it and want you inside me again and again…"

I was shocked to say the least. He laughed softly at the expression on my face, "Do you really think I would have you do something I wouldn't do myself? We're in this together, babe. Besides, I can't think of anything I want more than to feel your thick…hard…cock moving inside of me and you above me…fuck, Edward, I'm sure you can feel what that thought alone does to me…"

His cock was stiff and pulsing against my back through his pants. I reached my hand behind me and stroked him once through the thin material and could already feel the wetness at his tip.

But his hand grabbed mine and pulled it away, "Uh uh, Eddie. Tonight is about you. Don't worry about me."

He let go of my hand and grabbed his Ipod. "I'm gonna play a song for you. This is the song I usually…uh, jerk off too. So, when you're alone and you need to do this, I want you to put this song on repeat and think of me. It's called, 'When the Lights Go Out.'"

He shuffled through the songs and then put one ear bud in each of our ears. The song started and immediately reminded me of Jasper with it's southern blues feel.

He held his hand out and whispered, "Give me your hand, Edward. Lay it in mine, palm up." I did as he asked and he slowly brought it to his lips. He kissed the palm before I felt his hot, wet tongue stroke languidly from top to bottom over and over until it was coated in his sweet honey.

Then he lead my hand down to my throbbing cock and wrapped our hands around the base. I whimpered from the contact. His fingers were interlaced with mine as he started slowly working our hands up my turgid shaft. He kissed my neck and whispered, "_Your _hand…and _my _hand…forever and ever, Edward…it will always be _your _hand in _my _hand. You're mine now, baby and I promise to always take good care of you."

My lips parted and my breaths were shaky as I watched our hands move up my cock and then his finger on mine as we slid them over the wetness dripping from the tip. I moaned breathlessly, "Oh God Jasper…"

His lips stayed attached to my neck and shoulder as we spread around the wetness and used that to add to the lubrication of his sweet honey nectar on my hand. We moved our hands slowly together back down with firm but soft movements. Up and down, with a twist of our wrists…I felt like my whole body was on fire.

The burn was incredible…

I could feel him growing impossibly harder behind me and I couldn't help but arch my back and rub up against him. He moaned against my neck, "Fuck…feels so good…"

My free hand reached up and back until it slid in his golden curls and pulled his plump lips to mine. He moaned into the kiss as we continued working our hands up and down my rigid cock. Small twists of the wrist and gentle squeezing over the head as more of my own sticky sweetness leaked from the tip.

His free hand slid down my side and across my stomach until stroking my soft bronze curls. Then his coarse fingers slid down further until I felt his warm hand cupping my sack and rubbing it gently.

I moaned deeply into the kiss as both of his talented hands were now working my body into a heated frenzy. My fingers tightened in his hair but I pulled away to breathe. Our foreheads were together and we were staring into each other's eyes as our shallow breaths washed over one another.

He whispered, "I love you, Edward."

And that was all it took. I felt everything in my body constrict tightly and then just…explode.

"Ugh…oh fuck I love you too, Jay," I panted out as I came in thick, white spurts all over both our hands. He continued moving our hands together over my cock, milking me of every drop.

I finally just collapsed against his chest and he kissed my forehead and whispered, "Fuck, Edward. That was the sexiest fuckin thing I've ever seen."

He removed his hand from my sack and grabbed my t-shirt. He rubbed it over my now softening cock and cleaned me up. Then I watched as he brought on of his fingers to his lips and his tongue flicked out to taste my nectar that still covered it. I groaned and he smiled before taking his finger into his mouth and sucking it deeply with a, "Mmm…"

_Keep that up, Jay and we're going to go for round two…_

He released his finger with a pop and smiled down at my wide eyed face, "Just as I thought…you're fuckin delicious."

I attacked his mouth and I could taste myself on his tongue. I couldn't help but wonder what he would taste like.

He was still hard as hell against my back and I broke free from the kiss and whispered, "Let me touch you, Jay. Please"

He shook his head, "No, Edward. This was about you. I'll just go take a real quick shower and take care of it."

I groaned, "Please, Jasper…please."

My hand slid down his bare chest and I started rubbing him through his pants. He moaned as his head fell against the headboard. I whispered, "I just want to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

His eyes locked onto mine and he appeared to be having an internal battle. I quickly turned my body around and was on my knees in front of him. It was then that I realized I was still very naked.

But, I felt completely comfortable with him so I couldn't bring myself to care. I leaned forward and caught his lips with mine as I continued rubbing him softly through his pants. But I wanted more…I needed to feel his skin.

I pulled away to look at him again and his hooded azure eyes were penetrating mine. His lips were parted slightly as he panted in short, ragged breaths. I whispered, "Please."

I watched his Adam's apple bob as he gulped and nodded. I couldn't help the crooked smile that came to my face and he whispered, "So fuckin sexy…"

I grabbed both of his hands and pulled him up on his knees so that we were eye level and face to face. We just stared at each other as my hands trailed down his sides and I hooked my thumbs into his pajama pants and began pulling them down over his perfect hips.

I couldn't help but look down as his cock sprang free. My breathing hitched and I whispered, "Damn, Jay. And you thought I was big…"

I hadn't ever seen him before hard like this and Jasper was very long and very thick. I watched a thin strand of his sweet nectar trail from the tip of his glistening cock to his pajama pants as they went around his knees.

Now we were standing on our knees…face to face…chest to chest…cock to cock.

I brought my palm to my hand and licked it a few times before reaching down and wrapping it around his length. He groaned and leaned into me, placing his head on my shoulder and his arms around my neck.

My other arm went behind his back and pulled him closer as I began working my wet hand up and down his thick shaft, swirling my thumb over his leaky slit and pumping him slowly.

I could feel his heavy breathing against my neck with soft moans and whimpers.

I whispered, "You are so sexy, Jasper…and so beautiful…I can't wait to feel you inside of me and me inside of you…completely connected in every way…"

I continued whispering against his ear as I stroked his long shaft. I pulled him as close as I could get him and I felt the tip of his cock against my stomach as I pumped him. I could feel the wetness as his tip was dripping with his sticky sweetness.

He tightened his arms around my neck and moaned, "Ugh…Edward…"

I whispered, "I love you, Jasper."

He groaned as I felt his shaft constrict in my hand and soon he was cumming on my hand and on my stomach. He was whimpering, "Fuck…love you…oh fuck…I love you too, Edward…"

I milked him slowly as he had done to me and when he was spent, I let go of his shaft and grabbed my t-shirt to wipe us clean. He still held onto my neck tightly as he was still trembling. I tossed the t-shirt to the floor and wrapped both my arms around him.

We held each other like that for awhile and he eventually pulled away. His eyes were sparkling as he kissed me softly and whispered, "Thank you, Edward. No one has ever made me feel like that before."

I smiled, "No one has ever made me feel this way before either, Jay."

He gently pulled away and we were both sticky at this point. He whispered, "Wanna take a quick shower and get cleaned up?"

I nodded and we threw our soiled clothes into the hamper. I found it funny that we were both completely naked in front of each other but neither one of us seemed to be uncomfortable.

He turned the shower on and we both stepped in. It was already late so we decided it would be best to just clean ourselves quickly and avoid touching each other.

A few minutes later, we were both dressed and snuggled in bed together. It didn't take long until we were both sleeping soundly, as we were exhausted from tonight's events.

***********************************************************************

I awoke to a knock on my door and my mom speaking, "Edward? Why is your door locked?"

I jumped from bed, waking Jasper as I did it. I ran to the door and unlocked it, "Um…I locked it last night when I was getting dressed while Jay was in the shower. I must've forgot to unlock it. Sorry."

_Please believe me…_

She smiled, "Okay, sweetie. Well, it's time for your first day of school so you boys wake up and come eat some breakfast. I made blueberry pancakes for Jasper and a ham and cheese omelet for you. I know they're your favorites."

I smiled, "Thanks mom. We'll be down in a few minutes."

She turned and walked away and I shut the door. I looked over to Jasper who was sitting up now and stretching. He mumbled, "Shit, man. We gotta be more careful."

I nodded, "Yeah…but at least it was locked and she didn't walk in on us asleep together."

We got up and brushed our teeth before heading downstairs to breakfast. My dad was reading the paper and my mom was pouring us some orange juice. My dad smiled, "Good morning, boys. Are you all ready for your big day?"

I groaned, "Not really. I mean, who actually wants to be a freshman?"

Jasper chuckled as he poured syrup on his pancakes. My dad put the paper down and laughed, "Oh I'm sure it won't be that bad."

_If only you knew…_

Then my mom sat down and joined us, "So, are you boys thinking about joining any kind of clubs or sports this year?"

I laughed because the idea of me and sports was pretty funny. Jasper looked up and smiled, "I dunno. I might try out for basketball or something. Edward, you should go for the track team. You're really fast."

I shrugged, "Maybe. We'll see. I've got four advanced classes this year so I think I want to see how much time those take before I make a commitment to something."

Now he groaned, "I can't believe the only class we have together is gym."

I sighed, "Yeah, that sucks."

My dad chided me, "Edward, 'sucks' is not appropriate talk at the breakfast table."

I smiled weakly, "Sorry, dad."

He laughed at my expression and said, "I guess it does kind of suck though."

Me and Jasper started giggling and finished our breakfast. Once we were done, we went back upstairs to get dressed. Now, in the daytime, we were both back to being shy so he went to the bathroom to change.

I pulled on a pair of dark jeans, a white t-shirt and a dark green button up shirt over it. My breathing hitched when I saw him come out in a light pair of loose jeans that hung on his hips and a baby blue t-shirt that hugged his body in all the right places.

He smiled, "Damn, Eddie. How am I supposed to keep my hands off of you all day when you look like that?"

I returned his dimpled smile with a crooked one and said, "I was thinking the same thing."

We both went to the bathroom and tried to manage our hair as best we could. Then we grabbed our backpacks and kissed one last time before leaving for school.

The walk to school was only about 15 minutes and we chatted on the way about classes we were looking forward to and ones we weren't. Once we reached the school, we saw a few of our guy friends hanging out in front.

Embry called out, "Hey J! Hey E! Where the hell have you guys been all summer?"

Jasper smiled, "Workin, man. What have you been up to?"

We all walked in together and soon me and Jasper were at our lockers. At least they were close together so we'd be able to see each other some. And we did have lunch together so hopefully it wouldn't be too bad.

I was shoving my books for my first two periods in my book bag when Bella walked up and smiled, "Hey Edward! How was your summer?"

_God I hate this girl…_

I put on my best fake smile, "Really good, Bella. How was yours?"

She started rambling on about something but I wasn't paying attention. All I could see is Kelly walking up and grabbing Jasper's ass. I'm sure my face was red because Bella asked, "Are you okay, Edward? You don't look so good."

I nodded, "Um…I'm fine. Back to school jitters I guess."

She again started rambling and I watched as Jasper turned around to face her with a scowl on his face. She purred, "Hey Jazzy. So, I heard some pretty interesting things about you this summer from Maria and I was wondering if they were true."

His face was starting to flush as he said, "First, please don't touch me. If I were to just walk up to a random girl and grab her ass, that would be sexual harassment. Second, I don't know what you've heard but coming from Maria, I'm sure it's not good."

She giggled and whispered, "She said you were the best she ever had. Now you know, Jazzy, that your reputation precedes you and trust me when I tell you that I won't be the only girl this year who wants to see if it's true."

He glanced over at me and I tried to hide the hurt look in my eyes but he knows me too well. I could tell he was really uncomfortable so I shut my locker and said good bye to Bella. Then I walked over to Kelly and put on another fake smile, "Hi Kelly. I'm so sorry but Jay is going to be working really hard this year on his grades and I'm sure he doesn't need the distraction of random girls hanging all over him…"

Jasper smirked at my obvious jealousy and spoke, "He's right. I'm gonna try concentrating on school this year and not girls so why don't you just pass that along to the rest of the flock."

He shut his locker and we started walking away. Once we were far enough away, he whispered, "Sorry Eddie but thanks for the save."

I smiled over at him, "Anytime."

We walked by his first class first so I said, "Um…see you in gym."

He gave me a weak smile and took a deep breath, "Yeah, later bab…um, buddy." His face turned bright red and I couldn't help but laugh, "Later, pal."

I watched him smirk and walk into his class as three different skanks were wrapped around him immediately. He flashed me an apologetic smile and I groaned as I set off for my class.

And when I walked into first period Advanced Biology, I wanted to scream. There sat Tanya and Maria.

_Oh fucking hell…this year is going to suck! _


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks so much for all the reviews. I've been a busy little thing today and got another chapter done for you guys. Hope you enjoy!**

**Jasper's POV**

I couldn't believe what happened last night with Eddie and me. I had to work to keep the scene from playing in my head over and over again so I wouldn't walk around all day with a woody. And I meant what I said about us making love for the first time. As anxious as I was to get to that point, I was a little nervous too. I knew we'd have to take our time, after all, I didn't want Edward to ever regret anything we did together and I knew he wasn't ready to go that far yet.

Truth be known, I wasn't ready either. I had never been with a boy before and although I really did want to feel Edward inside of me…I was a little scared too. I mean, shit, the boy was already big as hell and Lord knows he would probably get even bigger in the next few years.

I smiled inwardly at that thought as the little evil Jasper in my head thought about what it would be like to take him into my mouth and taste his sweetness directly from the source. I couldn't stop myself from tasting him last night…and fuck, he did taste incredible. I wondered if I would be any good at it. I mean, I've gotten a ton of blow jobs so I knew what I liked but would it be different giving one? At least one thing I knew without a doubt…when it came to Edward, I would definitely swallow.

_God when is this class going to be over…_

I was in my first period English class. The teacher wasn't doing much today, just basic introductions to what we'd be going over this year. I figured, fuck it, I might as well take some notes. I sure as hell didn't want to be away from Edward for the next four years so I thought that maybe if I did actually really try to do well this year, maybe next year I could get in the advanced classes too so we could be together.

I knew I was smart enough, I just had never really put forth the effort…but Edward was worth the effort. Then my mind began to wander past high school. I had no doubt that he would go to college. I had never thought I would go but I wanted to be with him and I wanted to be good for him so maybe college could be a possibility. But, if I were to want to go to college, I would definitely have to get some kind of scholarship.

_Shit, I really am going to have to work my ass off…_

The three girls that had attached themselves to me when I walked in, Kara, Meghan, and Lisa, were sitting with one behind me and the other two to the side. They had been trying last year to hook up with me but I was with Maria…and I didn't cheat. They were pretty pissed when I blew them off this morning but seemed to have gotten over it quickly.

I felt fingers running through my hair and I turned to Kara, "Look, Kara…I'm really not trying to be rude but I'm just not interested, okay? Now, please leave my hair alone."

_Get a fuckin clue…_

She sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. I turned back to the teacher and kept taking notes. Luckily, they left me alone for the rest of the class and as soon as the bell rang I bolted to my locker, hoping to see Edward.

I waited for as long as I could before reluctantly grabbing my book for my math class and making my way to it.

I walked in and luckily, Embry and Seth were there. I sat down by them and we caught up a little. But when the class started, I paid attention and hoped the time would go by quickly.

Once the bell rang, I bolted again to my locker to see Edward standing in front of his with a scowl on his beautiful face. I walked up, "Hey, man, what's wrong?"

He smiled weakly at me, "Oh, hey, Jay. Nothing, don't worry about it."

I spoke quietly to him, "Tell me, Edward."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "It's nothing, really. Tanya and Maria are in my Biology class."

I grimaced, "Oh. Sorry."

Now he smiled at me, "Why are you sorry? You didn't make the schedule. Look, it's not that big of a deal. But I'll tell you one thing, Maria is definitely not over you. I think you hurt her ego when you dumped her and she seems bound and determined to win you back."

I rolled my eyes, "She'll get over it. What about Tanya? Did she give you any shit?"

He snickered, "The woman is insane. I'm worried about finding dead rabbits in the stew pot, if you know what I mean."

I laughed, "That bad?"

He smiled, "Yeah. She kept saying how we were meant to be together and she would wait until I figured it out."

He shuddered and I laughed, "Look on the bright side, Edward…just three more years and they will graduate."

He groaned and let his head fall to the locker with a thud.

Everyone was shuffling off for their next class and I sighed, "Well, I guess I'll see you at lunch." My next two classes were on the other side of the building so I wouldn't be able to make it back to my locker.

Edward smiled at me, "Okay, see you later."

I took off and looked back at him one last time before rounding the corner. He was looking at me with that crooked grin and since no one was around…I mouthed, "I love you."

He blushed and mouthed, "Love you too."

My heart was soaring again as I walked into History. I sighed in relief when I saw Paul. He waved me over and I sat down, "Hey, man! How the hell are you?"

Paul smiled, "Good, Jay. Hey, this is my friend Jacob."

I smiled at the nice looking dark skinned boy. His shiny black hair was loose and flowing down his muscular back.

_Wow…he's pretty hot…got nothing on my man though…_

Jacob smiled shyly, "Hi. Nice to meet you."

I smiled back, "You too, man. You new here?"

He shook his head, "Not really, I mean I'm new to the school but I've lived on the rez my whole life. I just finally convinced my dad to let me come to school here."

The class started and, again, I actually paid attention. At the end of the class, we all chatted a bit. Jacob seemed like a nice guy. We had the next class together, and we talked a little more while we walked there.

We walked in and Bella smiled at me, "Hi Jasper! Um…I was wondering if you know if anything is wrong with Edward? He seemed kind of out of it this morning."

_Nothing wrong with him, he just hates you…_

Edward really didn't like Bella because she tormented him when he was young. I'm pretty sure she did it because she actually liked him and was afraid of anyone finding out. I could tell by the way she always tried to talk to him. I did feel kinda bad for her…I mean, she was just a stupid kid back then and she obviously cared about him.

I smiled, "I'm sure he's fine, Bella. Hey, have you met Jacob?"

She shook her head and looked to the boy next to me who had a red tint to his dark cheek, "Um…hi, I'm Bella."

He smiled at her, "Jacob. It's nice to meet you, Bella."

"Class, please take your seats so we can begin," Mr. Porter was beginning the class so we shuffled to our seats.

This was my Spanish class so I didn't really have to pay much attention. I was already fluent in Spanish and could write and read it, so I just took this class for an easy A. So I let my mind drift to Edward…

_Man, I hope Maria and Tanya don't fuck with him too much…_

I made sure to keep my thoughts G rated so I wouldn't have to worry about boner problems in class. I looked over at Jake who was eyeing Bella and trying to do it inconspicuously. I chuckled and he turned red when he saw that I noticed what he was doing.

Once the class ended, Jacob, Bella, and I walked to lunch together. When we walked in the cafeteria, I saw Edward sitting with Ben and Angela. We quickly went through the lunch line and made our way to the table. I invited Jacob to sit with us and figured Bella would, since Angela was her best friend.

We all sat down and Edward had saved the seat next to him for me. A second later, Paul, Embry and Seth joined us.

"Hey Eddie, this is Jacob. He's new to the school."

Edward smiled at Jacob and said, "Hi, Jacob. It's nice to meet you."

Jacob smiled back, "You too."

Bella and Angela got up to go get some water and Jacob nudged me, "Hey, man, do you know if Bella is seeing anyone?"

I shook my head, "I don't think so. Why? You interested?"

He turned red and nodded, "Yeah. She seems pretty nice."

I smiled, "She is. Go for it, man."

He shook his head, "No. I think I'll give it a little more time."

We spent the rest of the lunch period just chatting about classes and what we did over the summer. I found out that Jacob's dad owned a garage down in La Push and he was a big motorcycle enthusiast. I told him that I really wanted a bike and he said that he could help me build one if I was interested. I still had some money that I had saved from working this summer so I took him up on the offer.

We made plans to get together on Saturday and see what we could find.

Once lunch was done, Edward and I walked back to our lockers and talked a little. He seemed to be in a better mood. His next class was a music class so he was excited about it.

Luckily, the next two classes flew by and I was heading to the last class of the day, gym, with Edward. I secretly wondered how awkward things would be once we had to start changing for the class but today we didn't have to worry about it. We sat together on the bleachers as the teacher went on about what we'd be doing this year. At the end of the class he handed out flyers on all the sports programs they were offering.

Finally, the bell rang and school was over. Edward and I walked to our lockers together and gathered what we needed.

As we were walking out of the building, I spotted Maria walking over to me from the parking lot.

"Hey Jazzy. I haven't seen you all day. I was wondering if we could talk for a minute?"

I groaned internally but figured it would be better to just get this over with, "Sure, Maria. I'll be right back, Edward."

He gave me a weak nod.

Maria and I walked off to a lone spot and she started, "So, I was thinking about what happened between us and I was wondering if you've come to your senses yet?"

I sighed, "Maria…look, I'm really sorry about what I did. I shouldn't have slept with you because I was planning on breaking up with you. You kind of put me on the spot but I should've said no. But I have no intention, ever, of getting back together with you and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop ranting to your girlfriends about my 'fuckin' abilities. I mean, Jesus, woman, don't you have any shame?"

_Oops…probably should've left out the last part…she looks really pissed again_

She screamed at me, "What kind of guy are you?! You just fuck girls then dump them! You're a fucking asshole!"

_Great, now everyone's looking…keep it together, Jay…_

I tried to speak quietly so people would stop looking, "Maria, don't act like you're all innocent here. _You _came to _my _house and practically begged me to fuck you so don't act like I'm the bad guy."

She hauled her hand back and smacked me hard across the cheek. It stung a little.

I just sighed as she screamed, "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, Jasper! I heard that line of bullshit about wanting to focus on school this year! What are you thinking? You may hang out with the boy wonder over there but you are nothing but poor white trash! You'll never be smart and you'll never be worth anything but a good fuck! And I'll tell you one more thing…you better watch your fucking back because I've got four older brothers who are going to be itching to stomp the shit out of you, you fucking worthless piece of shit!"

With that she turned and stomped away. Everyone was staring at me now and I just groaned and shook my head as I walked back over to Edward who was waiting for me.

He sighed, "Are you okay, Jay?"

I nodded and spoke quietly, "Yeah, man, let's just get the fuck outta here."

We were half way out of the parking lot when Jacob and Seth came running over to us, "Hey guys! Wait up!"

We stopped and they fell in line beside us, "Jesus, Jay! What the hell was her problem?"

I looked over at Seth and just shook my head, "Psycho ex girlfriend, man, what can I say."

We walked for a little while and they finally broke free from us to go home. I was really relieved to get to his house. I figured I would have to eventually go home, since I had only actually been there twice all summer, but today wasn't the day. At least the good thing was that I had managed to avoid my father's visit.

We walked in and greeted Esme. We talked a little about our first day before heading off to Edward's room so she could start dinner and we could start our homework.

The second the door closed, I grabbed Edward around the waist and pulled him to me. His arms went around my neck and we just hugged for a few minutes. I closed my eyes and just breathed him in and let the warmth of his body against mine heal the little wounds that Maria had managed to pick open. Bitch.

Eventually he pulled away and gave me a soft kiss and whispered, "Don't listen to what that bitch had to say, Jasper. You're very smart and you're incredible in every way. I love you so much and I don't want her stupid little tantrum to upset you."

I smiled at him, "You're right, Edward. I must not be that bad cuz I got the best guy in the whole school to fall in love with me."

He blushed and then we heard his mother coming so we quickly separated. I sat on his couch and started pulling out my books. His mom knocked and Edward told her to come in.

"Hey boys, I have to run to the market real fast to pick up some chives for the soup. I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay, mom."

She shut the door and Edward jumped up and locked it.

He gave me an evil little grin before walking over and pushing my books out of my lap. He straddled me on the couch and smiled, "I have been dying to kiss you all damn day." My arms went around his back and he leaned down to press his soft lips to mine.

And everything just melted away. All I could feel was the love radiating from him. His tongue slid across my lips and I parted them immediately for him. He kissed me deep and I couldn't help the soft moan that fell from my lips.

I shifted to the side and laid him down on the couch, never breaking our kiss. I laid on top of him but kept my weight off while we kissed. Eventually, I pulled away so we could breathe. I laid my head on his shoulder and he ran his fingers softly through my hair.

I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Edward was shaking me softly, "Wake up, Jay. My mom just got back."

I raised up groggily and kissed him once more before standing up. I stretched and said, "Sorry for falling asleep on you, babe."

He smiled, "Now why on earth would you be sorry for that?"

I smiled back, "I was probably crushing you."

He laughed, "You weren't crushing me. I happen to like it when you fall asleep on me like that."

I grinned, "Maybe one day we'll be able to really fall asleep together and not have to worry about anything."

He went over and unlocked his door and turned to me, "I love you, Jasper. One day we will be able to be together without worrying about anything. I promise."

We went down and helped Esme finish dinner and soon Carlisle was home. We sat down and ate baked potato soup, salad, and baked bread. We talked a little about our day and then I volunteered us to do the dishes so Esme could relax. I figured it was the least I could do since I ate here almost every night.

After dinner, Edward and I went upstairs to start on our homework. I pulled out my phone to call Peter and check on him since I hadn't talked to him in a few days.

"Hello?"

"Hey Peter. It's Jasper. I just called to see how you guys were doing."

He laughed, "We're doing alright, son. How was your first day of school?"

We talked for a few minutes and I told him I'd come out on Friday after school to help him with some chores he needed done. Edward said he'd go with me.

We spread our books out on his bed and laid down to get started. We didn't have much so we finished pretty quickly. I was staring at him and he looked up and smiled, "Is something on your mind, Jay?"

I smiled, "You, of course."

He laughed and I couldn't help but ask him, "Hey Edward? Do you think that if I work real hard this year that maybe next year I could get in your advanced classes with you?"

His face lit up, "Of course, Jasper. You would do that for me?"

I reached out and grabbed his hand, "Yeah. I don't wanna go the next four years without you in school. And besides, I was thinking that maybe, one day, we'd be able to go to college together but I'll need to get a scholarship or something. Do you ever think about the future?"

He turned to his side and brought my hand to his lips. He kissed it softly and smiled, "I think about it all the time. I think about us in college together, sharing an apartment off campus. I think about our first home together and growing old together. I know it sounds silly because we're so young but I just can't imagine not being with you. I love you so much, Jay. You're a part of me and I couldn't stand to live without you."

I smiled, "It's not silly at all. I feel the same way. I'm sure things aren't going to be easy these next few years, Edward but we have to promise to stick together no matter what. I can't live without you either. I want you forever and it doesn't matter how young I am, I know we're meant to be together forever." Then I blushed and laughed, "God, do I sound like Tanya?"

He started laughing, "No, you most certainly don't sound like that crazy chick. Don't worry, Jay. We can handle anything we have to face as long as we do it together."

I leaned over and kissed his soft lips, "Love you, Edward."

"Mmm…love you too, Jay."

******************************************************************************************************************

The week flew by at school and soon Friday came. Maria had been bad mouthing me to every girl in school so at least, most of them were leaving me alone, except for the extreme skanks who were even more intrigued and the few chicks who wanted to be the one to change my evil ways. I secretly thanked Maria for making most of the girls leery of me. Little did they all know, it was a sweet, innocent boy who made me change my evil ways.

I got to know Jacob a little better and really liked him. I thought he would end up becoming a really good friend. We shared a lot of the same interests in music and cars and motorcycles. Edward seemed to get along well with him but they didn't have any classes together so they only saw each other at lunch. Edward had gotten a little jealous when I told him that we had made plans for Saturday but I invited him to come and he said he might. Then I told him that Jacob was crushing hard on Bella and then Edward was fine with it. I mean, seriously, how many gay guys did he think there would be in this dinky ass high school.

We were in the last class of the day, gym, and we were running laps. Edward looked fuckin hot in his gym uniform, weird I know, but very true. Those shorts really showed off his long legs nicely. We avoided each other in the locker room and showers so we wouldn't have to deal with any problems that might, um, arise.

The day was finally over and we were making our escape to Peter's house tonight. He had said we could just stay the night if we wanted and Edward's parents agreed. His mom was gonna drop us off.

So when we were walking out of the school grounds and I saw four very big Hispanic guys in a car across the street, I turned to Edward who hadn't seen them and I knew I needed to get him out of there. I lit a cigarette and said, "Um, hey Edward? Will you do me a favor?"

He smiled over at me, "Sure, Jay."

"Would you mind running back into the school and grabbing my history book outta my locker? I just lit this and I don't wanna put it out."

He looked a little confused but agreed and turned back and ran into the school. I knew I had to get this over quick before he came back. I didn't want him getting involved in my shit.

I walked over to the car and took a drag from my cigarette, then I exhaled and said, "You guys just gonna stay in the car all night or are you gonna do what you came to do?"

They all got out of the car and I took another drag to prepare myself. This was gonna hurt pretty bad, they were big and obviously not in school anymore. One of them spoke, "You're pretty ballsy for someone whose about to get their ass kicked."

I took another drag and said, "Yeah, well…"

Then I flicked my cigarette at his face. It distracted him enough for me to get at least one good punch in before they jumped me. Before I knew it, I was on the ground being kicked by all four of them.

They got me pretty good and I blacked out. When I opened my eyes, Edward was leaning over me, his eyes glistening, "Thank God you're awake."

Then I felt the pain. I groaned and looked around.

_Fuck. I'm in a hospital._

Carlisle came over to me next, "Son, can you hear me?"

I nodded and tried to clear my throat to speak. My voice was very gruff, "What happened?"

Edward handed me a cup of water and I took a drink. His voice was shaky when he spoke, "Maria's brothers jumped you after school. When I came out from getting your history book, they had you on the ground in the middle of the street. Jacob and Bella were walking out with me and we ran to you. Bella called her dad and they jumped in the car and took off. Chief Swan went to their house and arrested them. I mean, Jesus Christ, they were all over 18."

I tried to sit up and groaned again.

"Take it easy, son. You've got a broken rib, a broken wrist, and all kinds of scrapes and bruises. I'm going to go get you some more pain medicine. You'll be in here tonight but you should be able to come home tomorrow." Carlisle left the room and Edward and I were alone.

I watched his beautiful face as tears slid down his cheeks, "I'm so sorry, Edward."

He sniffled, "Why are you sorry? Why did you tell me to leave, Jay? I could've helped you. Why didn't you just come back in the school and wait for them to leave?"

"Edward, I deserved it. I dumped their baby sister not 30 seconds after I pulled my dick out of her. And besides, I knew it was coming and just wanted to get it over with. I don't run and I don't hide. I wasn't going to spend the whole year always lookin over my shoulder and I sure as hell wasn't gonna get you involved in my bullshit. It's over now. Maria got her revenge and I'll heal. Please don't cry, Edward."

He wiped his eyes and ran his fingers down my cheek. I sighed and leaned into his soft touch. Everything on my body hurt except where he was touching me. He whispered, "I love you, Jasper."

I smiled a little but it kinda hurt, "Love you too babe."

Carlisle walked in and he pulled his hand away. Carlisle gave me some pain meds and I was out again.

The next time I woke up, it was night time. I could see through the blinds at the dark sky and the full moon. It was dark in my room. I heard snoring and I looked down to see Edward sitting in a chair with his head laying on my bed. He was asleep. I ran my fingers through his hair with my right hand, since my left was all fucked up. He stirred a minute before lifting his head and looking up at me through puffy eyes.

I smiled as best I could, "Edward? What are you still doing here?"

He yawned, "My dad said I could stay. He went home to get a few hours sleep but will be back in the morning to try and get you discharged."

"Babe, you didn't have to stay. You should be at home in your comfy bed getting some good sleep."

He shook his head, "No, I should be wherever you are."

He stood up and stretched, "Oh, Peter called. I told him what happened. He was going to come down but I told him not to leave Charlotte, that we would take care of you and that you would call him tomorrow."

I nodded, "Thanks, man."

He yawned again, "I'm gonna go grab a coke from the vending machine. Want something?"

"Yeah, coke's fine."

He left and returned with two cokes and a cup of ice and a straw for me. We talked a little while before we both started getting sleepy again. The nurse came in and gave me some more pain meds and told Edward about the pull out bed in the closet. He gave me a soft kiss and I winced a bit. Apparently my lip was busted and I had a pretty good black eye. That's what pissed me off most. Those fuckers messed my face up and now I wouldn't be able to kiss Edward right until my lip healed.

Edward then kissed my forehead and whispered, "Get some sleep, Jay. I love you. Good night."

I was barely coherent at this point but I remember telling him I loved him.

The next morning, I woke up to a really fuckin annoying voice.

"Jasper Whitlock! What the hell did you do now? I haven't seen you in a month and I just knew you were either in jail or a damn hospital!"

I groaned and didn't bother opening my eyes, "That's excellent parenting, mom. Glad you were so worried about me."

She huffed, "Don't get smart with me, Jasper! I just came to see if you were okay and you insult me!"

I opened my eyes and looked at the woman that I got my hair and eyes from, "I'm fine, mama. You can go away with a clean conscience. Edward's parents and Peter have been looking out for me. I'm not your problem anymore."

Edward now woke up and he sat up and glared at my mother.

She came over and sat on the bed with me, "Jasper, I'm trying to do the right thing here, okay? You didn't come with instructions or anything ya know and I was only 15 when I had you. I know I suck as a mom but I'm doing the best I can do. If that's not good enough then I don't know what to tell you."

I sighed, "It's fine mom. Really, everything's fine. Just go home and don't worry."

She reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle, "Here, baby, I'm gonna give you some pain pills cuz I know these asshole doctors won't give you the good stuff."

I furrowed my brows, "No, mom. I'm sure whatever Dr. Cullen gives me will be fine."

She laughed, "Nonsense, Jasper now take the god damn pills, baby boy. In fact, I have half a pack of cigarette's left. I'll just leave them for you and put the pills in there. You call me if you need any more, okay?"

I sighed, "Yeah, mom."

She leaned over and kissed my forehead, "Alright, son. Get some rest. Love you."

"Love you too." And I guess in some weird way, I did. It was a pretty twisted relationship we had but I still knew I was really better off without her in my life.

She got up and walked out. I turned to Edward, "Hey, man, will you get these pills and get rid of them. I don't need that kind of temptation."

He smiled and walked over to me. He just looked at me for a moment with a beautiful smile on his face, "I'm really proud of you, Jay."

I smiled back, "Then it's worth it."

He poured the pills into his hand and took them to the bathroom to flush them. Then Peter walked in, "Well hell son, you look like shit!"

I laughed a little, "Thanks old man, but I still look better than you."

He chuckled and pulled up a chair next to me. Edward walked out of the bathroom and pulled up a chair on the other side, "Hey Peter."

Peter smiled, "Hey there son. Now while I have you two alone, I wanna talk to you."

We nodded and he spoke in a quiet voice, "Now you boys know that me and Charlotte have no problem with you being together and whatnot. So, if you need a place to…what's that word you young folks say…chill or whatever, you're welcome at our house. But there's no hanky panky at my place and I think you boys should seriously consider telling Carlisle. He's a good man and I've known him a long time. I think he'd understand."

I laughed, "No hanky panky, huh?"

He smirked, "Smartass."

Edward was bright red. Just then, Carlisle walked in. Peter and him talked for a little while and Edward whispered to me, "God, that was embarrassing."

I laughed, "Yeah, sorry about that."

He just smiled with his cute little red cheeks.

Peter got ready to leave and came over and gave my hand a gentle squeeze, "Think about what I said, son."

I smiled, "I will, Peter."

He left and Carlisle got my discharge paperwork ready and I was finally getting ready to leave. I was sore as hell by the time we got to Edward's house. Edward helped me up the front steps and I was met by Esme as soon as I walked in.

She put her hands on my cheeks with tears in her eyes, "Oh Jasper! I want to give you a hug so badly but I don't want to hurt you, son. Now, I've gotten everything ready. You'll be staying in Edward's room with him. Let's get you upstairs and into bed."

She leaned in and kissed my cheek. She whispered, "I love you so much, Jasper."

Great, now my eyes were filled with tears. This is how a mom should be. I whispered, "I love you too, Esme."

They helped me upstairs and I desperately wanted a shower. Carlisle had to go back to the hospital and Esme went to go make me some breakfast and get my prescription filled.

Edward helped me strip down and into the shower. I had to keep my wrist out of the water and couldn't get the bandages on my ribs wet. I was surprised when I felt him slide in behind me. I turned my head and he smiled, "Everyone's gone so don't worry."

I smiled back, "I wasn't worrying."

He smirked and grabbed the nozzle from the shower. "Lean your head back, Jay."

I did as he said and I felt his soft fingers pulling through my wet curls. It was heavenly as he poured a little shampoo into his hand and began massaging my scalp. He used the shower nozzle to rinse it out and then he grabbed a wash cloth and began washing my body.

I sighed, "That feels so good…"

He laughed, "Yeah I can see that."

I was half hard from him washing me and I smirked, "Let me wash you from head to toe and see what happens."

He smiled, "Another time, Jay."

He finished washing and rinsing me. Then he turned off the water and grabbed us some towels. He helped to dry me off and get me dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

He helped me get into bed and then Esme walked in with a tray full of food and my prescription. She sat down on the bed with me and Edward sat on the other side. We ate and talked and then I took my meds. She took the tray and kissed my forehead, "If you need anything, dear, just let me know. Now get some rest and get better."

I smiled, "Okay. Thanks Esme."

She just smiled and left the room. I laid down and Edward laid next to me. He had purple bags under his eyes and I knew that he hadn't slept well the night before. I fell asleep and dreamed about telling Carlisle and Esme about our relationship. I dreamt that they were happy for us and still loved me like a son. I dreamt about going off to college with Edward and being together and happy.

I was in and out of it all day. Edward was always there in the room with me. He was either lying in bed with me watching TV or reading. I remember eating again sometime that day. I remember Carlisle and Esme checking in on me a few times. But the last time I woke up, it was to that damn annoying voice again.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 3:30 in the morning and I heard my mom downstairs yelling. My heart dropped. Edward woke up and looked at me, "Is that your mom?"

I nodded, "Yeah. What the hell is goin on?"

We got out of bed and he helped me downstairs. I stopped on the steps when I saw her. She was completely wasted and yelling at Carlisle who was in his robe and pajamas, "He's _my _son and I'm taking him out of this shit town!"

Carlisle was trying to maintain his calm, "Look, Linda, it's 3:30 in the morning and he just got out of the hospital. I'm not letting you take that boy anywhere."

I managed to croak out, "Mom?"

She looked over at me with wild bloodshot eyes, "Jasper! We're leaving, baby boy! Come on and get your stuff!"

I shook my head, "What? Where are we going?"

She huffed, "I don't know yet, baby boy. We're just gonna get in the car and see where we end up. It'll be fun just like always."

I couldn't help the tears that started falling from my eyes, "I don't wanna go nowhere, mama. I wanna stay here. It's not fun for me…"

She scowled, "Get your god damn ass in the car, Jasper! Now!"

Edward stood in front of me and shook his head, "He's not going anywhere…"

Then Carlisle looked at her, "Let's just go in the kitchen and talk. The boys need their rest…"

She pushed past him and came at me but then Esme jumped in front of her and pushed her back, "You will lay a finger on that boy over my dead body. Now I suggest you calm down and we can go speak about this in the kitchen, Linda but you will _not _be taking Jasper anywhere. Try to fight me on this and you'll find out I'm not as prim and proper as you think."

I was shocked. Edward was too judging by the way his mouth was hanging open. Carlisle chuckled a little at his wife and looked at my mom, "What will it be? We can go discuss this like adults or you can just leave now."

She sighed and threw up her hands in defeat, "Fine! He's your fuckin problem now! I never fuckin wanted him anyway! I should've gotten a god damn abortion when I had the chance!"

I couldn't hold it in anymore and I pushed past Edward and stood face to face with her as the tears stung my eyes, "Then why the fuck did you take me away from Grandma?! Why did you drag me out of the god damn house?!"

She looked like a demon as she glared at me through soulless eyes, "Because she loved you and I wanted to hurt her! I figured I'd give you back once I taught her a lesson but the old cunt died and I was stuck with you! Why do you think I never gave a shit about what happened to you?! You are just a reminder of everything that's fucked up in my life and I'm glad you fucking hurt you little bastard! I wish one of those fucking pussies I was with just finished you off and then I'd be done with you forever and finally get my fucking life back!"

I was crying hysterically at this point. I guess I always knew these things but to finally hear them from her mouth was too much to take. My knees went weak and I started to fall to the ground but I felt Edward's arms around me and we sank together.

Esme grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the front door. Carlisle opened it and said, "If you ever try to contact him again, I will make sure you spend time behind bars. Don't ever come back here."

Esme shoved her out and slammed the door.

A moment later, I felt all three of them help me up and over to the couch. They laid me down with Edward at my feet and my head in Esme's lap. She ran her fingers through my hair as I cried. She kept whispering, "Shh…it's okay, dear. As long as there is air in my lungs, no one will ever hurt you again. You're _my _son, now. I love you and you're a good boy. Everything's going to be okay, son."

Carlisle came over and sat on the coffee table in front of me, "I didn't know it was so bad, Jasper. You boys didn't tell me how bad it was. I could've helped you, son. But don't worry about anything. You're a part of this family. You have been since the day you stepped foot through that door. We love you, son."

Edward was rubbing my feet but kept quiet as he cried softly. I eventually cried myself back to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**So yeah, I twisted my ankle and stayed at home from work so what better way to pass the day than write another chapter for you guys! BTW - check out the story 'Gasping For Air' by Wolfenmoon1313. It's an E/J story and Jasper is adorable in this one but I will warn you that it deals with very dark issues of abuse and it's detailed so you've been warned.**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews! I even got a marriage proposal! How freakin awesome is that? LOL :)**

**Edward's POV**

Jasper fell asleep with his head in my mom's lap. I fell asleep rubbing his feet. I woke up to my dad gently shaking me, "Wake up, son. Let's get you boys to bed."

I nodded and yawned as I got out from underneath him. My dad slipped his arms underneath Jasper and I helped because he was pretty heavy and really tall. We carried him upstairs and tucked him into my bed. My mom kissed his forehead and gave me a hug before they left the room and shut the door.

I knew they would be back to check on him so I kissed his cheek and whispered that I loved him before turning over and trying to sleep. I pulled the blanket up to my chin then slid my arm over to him underneath the covers and held his good hand.

My heart ached for Jasper. How much was he going to have to suffer?

_No more…he's here now permanently. _

I smiled at that thought.

_Crap. I hope my mom and dad don't make him stay in a different room…_

I giggled a little at the thought that we were kind of like brothers now. I thought back about everything that happened in such a short time.

_I wonder if I could talk some girls into kicking Maria's ass…but, she would probably just come after Jasper again. If I was a girl, I'd beat her ass. Bitch. Thank God his worthless mother is out of his life now. I swear I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing Jasper just how special and wonderful and strong he is. I've never known someone as strong as he is. _

_And he wants to do better in school so that we can be together. I hope everything that's happened doesn't set him back. He's so smart, I know he can do well and I'm going to help him in any way possible. He's trying so hard to do right. He's chasing the demons away. He may not really have wings but that doesn't mean he's not an angel._

I finally drifted off to sleep. I dreamt of our future together.

I woke up the next morning to my mom coming in with breakfast. She whispered, "Good morning, sweetheart."

I smiled, "Morning, mom."

She sat on the edge of the bed and sat the tray of food down on my nightstand. She gently shook Jasper's shoulder and whispered, "Wake up, darling."

He stirred and opened his eyes with a groan. His eyes were still puffy and red. His poor eye was swollen and bruised and his busted bottom lip was swollen. He was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My mom ran her fingers through his hair and leaned down to kiss his forehead, "Good morning, son."

He smiled as best he could and threw his arms around her. He started crying again but softly this time and she rubbed his back. He whispered through broken sobs, "I'm sorry for dragging you into my messed up life…"

She pulled back and looked at him with tears in her eyes, "Nonsense, Jasper. This is not your fault and I never want to hear another apology fall from your lips. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. You're one of the very best things to happen to this family, sweetie, and I am going to keep drilling that into that stubborn little head of yours until you believe it. I love you, darling. Now, no more tears. Today is a new beginning for all of us. You have a new mom and dad, we have a new son, and Edward has a new brother."

I cringed but thankfully she didn't see it.

He looked up at her, "Thank you for sticking up for me last night."

She smiled, "You sweet, darling boy…I would fight to the death for you. For either of you…" she reached over and grabbed my hand…"my two amazing boys."

She wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed his forehead. He smiled, "Thank you, Esme. I love you all so much. I'm so lucky to have you."

She smiled, "We're the lucky ones. Now, come on, son, let's get you fed and get your medicine in you so you can feel better."

He nodded and she placed the tray on his lap. She brought a plate for me too so we began eating. She said she'd be back in a little while to check in and I told her I'd bring the tray down when we were finished.

Once she left, I turned to Jasper and smiled, "Are you doing okay, babe?"

He nodded and sighed, "Yeah. Yesterday was a pretty fucked up day, huh?"

I reached out and grabbed his hand. I brought it to my lips and kissed his bruised knuckled gently, "Yeah, but today will be better. And tomorrow will be better than today. Things are going to be okay now, Jay. You're here, you're safe, and you are very much loved."

He smiled over at me, "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, bro."

He laughed, "Yeah, that's kinda creepy, huh?"

I laughed now too, "A little, but I don't care. I wouldn't change anything."

He smiled, "Me neither, darlin."

Once we were finished, Jasper fell back asleep and I carried our tray downstairs. I heard something in the garage and I walked out there to check on it. I opened the door and saw my dad. He was in his pajamas with his boxing gloves on and he was hitting the punching bag.

I walked out and wrapped my arms around the bag to hold it for him. "You okay, dad?"

He sighed and let his arms fall to his side. He was sweaty and panting. I handed him the towel sitting on the weight bench. He sat down and wiped his forehead, "Yeah, son, I'm okay. Just working out some aggression. You boys doing alright this morning?"

I nodded, "Yeah, we ate and Jasper took his medicine and fell back asleep."

He looked up at me through blood shot eyes, "I've seen bad people in my life, son, but never have I seen someone as evil as that woman. You should've told me, Edward. I knew they struggled financially and his mother was a bit flighty but you boys never let on how bad she really was. I could've helped him years ago. I just hate that he's going through this."

I sat down next to him and ran my hand through my hair, "I'm sorry, dad. I should've said something, I just didn't know what to do."

He put his arm around me and leaned his head against mine, "Never be afraid to tell me anything, son. I can't guarantee I won't get upset but I _can _guarantee I will always do my best to help you in any way possible. I know I work a lot and I'm not around as much as I should be but I am always a phone call away. Nothing comes before you boys…you know that, right?"

I nodded, "I know, dad. Thanks for everything."

He nodded and sighed, "Well, I have to get ready for work. I'm going to go check in on Jasper before I leave. Do you need anything before I go?"

I shook my head, "No, we're okay, dad."

He ruffled my hair and stood up. He turned back to me once he reached the door and he had a thoughtful expression on his face, "Hey Edward? You boys are really very close, huh?"

_Uh oh…does he know something?_

I nodded, "Yeah, dad. He's my best friend and now he's like my brother."

He nodded, "Yeah. Well, if there's anything you ever need to tell me, son, remember that I'll always be here and I'll always love you both, no matter what. And I think your mother is going to turn the guest room into his new bedroom so maybe you can help her out today. Boy, your mother is a hellcat sometimes. I thought she might rip the arms right off that woman and start beating her with them."

I laughed, "Yeah, I've never seen mom so angry before. Remind me to never make her mad."

He laughed, "Well, I love you son. Think about what I said, okay?"

I nodded, "I will, dad. I love you too. Have a good day at work."

He nodded and headed into the house.

_Maybe he does know…if he does, it doesn't sound like he's mad or upset about it. Maybe I'll talk to Jay later about what Peter said._

I made my way upstairs and decided to take a shower. I let the hot water run down my back and my thoughts began drifting to the night before school.

_His hand and my hand…so strong and warm…so much love from his hands…_

I looked down and saw that I was hard now and beginning to ache. I hadn't tried to do anything since that night but I guess I was about to find out if it worked. I lathered up my hand and reached down. I wrapped my hand around my swollen cock and placed my other hand against the wall. I slowly started pumping myself, swirling my thumb around the head and spreading the wetness there.

A soft moan escaped my lips. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander…

_Jasper sitting behind me, his hard cock throbbing against my back…the slow bluesy beat of the music in one ear and his shallow breaths and moans in my other one. His slow southern drawl whispering of his love. _

"_Your hand…and my hand…forever and ever, Edward…it will always be your hand in my hand. You're mine now, baby and I promise to always take good care of you."_

_His other hand sliding down my body and to my sack. Gently rubbing and tugging while our hands worked over me. _

_Both of us naked…on our knees, face to face. His beautiful blue eyes staring into mine, hooded with desire and love. His arms around my neck and the feel of his hard, thick cock in my hand and against my stomach. His breathless moans against the crook of my neck and him just holding onto me for dear life as I pumped his beautiful hard cock. The feel of his body trembling as I brought him pleasure. Every stroke and every shaky breath filled with so much love. Then his hot sticky honey erupting and covering my hand and stomach…_

I cried out softly, "Ugh…Jasper…" as my own cock erupted and I slowly drew out the last few seconds before resting my head against my arm on the wall and trying to get my breathing back to normal.

I smiled. He did it. He helped me. He _was_ an angel, he always would be as far as I was concerned.

"So, it worked, huh?"

I jumped from the sound of his voice and stuck my head out of the shower to see him standing there.

He smiled, "Sorry, I had to pee."

I smiled back and I knew I was red, "You heard me?"

He grinned a crooked grin since his lip was busted and said, "Yeah. It was pretty fuckin hot too. Too bad I'm gonna be out of commission for awhile cuz I was damn tempted to jump in there and help you out again."

I just laughed and continued washing my body. I probably should've been more embarrassed than I was, but he never made me feel like I should be so I just let it go.

I finished my shower and got dressed. I pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans and a dark chocolate pullover. I walked out of the bathroom and he was sitting up in bed.

I sat down and pulled on some socks and he smiled, "I love that color on you, Edward. It looks so good with your hair and your skin."

I smiled, "Yeah? Thanks, Jay."

"Your dad left for work and your mom went shopping. She wants to turn the guest room into my bedroom so I guess we won't be sleeping together anymore."

I groaned, "That sucks."

He sighed, "Yeah, but it's probably a good thing, Edward. I mean, we really shouldn't be sleeping together every night. It makes taking things slow a little more difficult. Besides, I'll just be down the hall and she said it would take her about a week to get it finished."

I knew he was right…but it still sucked.

The doorbell rang and I excused myself to go answer it. When I pulled it open, there stood Bella, Angela, Seth, Jacob, Embry, and Paul.

Seth spoke up, "Hey man. We wanted to see if Jay was alright."

I nodded, "Sure, guys. Come on in."

I led them upstairs and Jasper smiled when he saw them. Angela and Bella were both in tears when they saw his face.

Angela sat down next to him and brushed her hand across his cheek, "Oh my God, Jasper. I can't believe they did this to you."

He smiled, "It's okay, Ange. I'm gonna heal up fine."

Bella sat down by his feet and smiled, "Well, you'll be happy to know that Lana, Julie, and Michelle jumped Maria this morning and beat the crap out of her. They didn't put her in the hospital or anything but they messed her face up pretty good."

He sighed, "They really didn't need to do that. I deserved this."

Angela spoke again, "Hey, Jay, I'm not saying you didn't deserve to get your butt whipped for what you did because that was pretty dirty but you didn't deserve this. I mean, you were jumped by four grown men. That's just not right."

Bella sighed, "Yeah, my dad arrested the lowlifes last night. Apparently, two of them already had warrants out from previous arrests. Real scum, those ones."

Seth and Paul sat down on the couch. Jacob sat on my piano bench and Embry was sitting on my computer chair. We all chatted for a bit and decided to watch a movie.

"Um…I'll go get some snacks and sodas," I got up off the bed and started to head downstairs when Bella came up behind me, "I'll help you, Edward."

I groaned internally but smiled, "Okay, thanks Bella."

We went downstairs and I put some microwave popcorn on and was gathering some sodas when Bella spoke quietly, "Um…hey Edward?"

I turned to look at her, "Yeah?"

She looked down at the ground and fidgeted with her hands, "I…um…I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for teasing you when we were kids."

_That was unexpected…_

She continued, "I just…well honestly, Edward, I always thought you were really cute but I wasn't exactly popular either and so I just kinda went along with them to try and fit in. I feel really bad for the way I treated you and I really hope that you can forgive me."

_Maybe she's not that bad…_

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "Thanks, Bella. I forgive you."

She smiled, "Thanks, Edward."

And for once, I smiled a real smile back.

Then she got nervous again, "Um…so I was wondering…the turnabout dance is in a couple of weeks and I thought that maybe…um…we could go together."

Her face was bright red and I felt a little bad, "Uh…Bella, I don't really do dances. You should ask Jacob. I know he'd like to go with you."

She sighed, "He's nice but I like you. I knew I didn't have a chance, I mean you dated Tanya Denali. The woman's like friggin Helen of Troy."

I lifted her chin to look at me, "Bella, believe me when I tell you that you are much more beautiful than Tanya could ever be. I'm really just not wanting to date anyone right now."

She smiled, "Okay. Thanks, Edward."

I smiled back, "You're welcome, Bella. Now let's get this food upstairs before those rez boys start eating the furniture. I swear, I've never seen boys eat the way they do."

She laughed and we made our way back upstairs.

Everyone snacked and we watched a couple of movies. I gave Jay his medicine and he was asleep before the second movie ended. Everyone left quietly to not wake him up.

My mom was still gone so I locked the door and crawled in bed next to him. I snuggled into his neck and kissed it softly, being careful not to hurt his ribs. He opened his eyes, "Man, I didn't think they were ever gonna leave."

I looked up at his wicked grin, "You were faking!"

He laughed, "Yeah…I wanted some alone time with you before your mom got back."

I smiled and kissed his neck again, "Thank God. I really wanted to be alone with you too. Although, that was very nice of them to come over and make sure you're okay."

He put his arm around me and sighed, "Yeah. We've got pretty good friends."

"Um…so Bella asked me to the dance."

He laughed, "That poor girl. I hope you let her down gently, you heartbreaker."

I smirked, "Funny. I was very nice to her. In fact, she even apologized for being mean to me when we were kids. I guess she's not so bad. I tried to get her to ask Jacob but I don't know if she will."

He sighed, "That's too bad. Jacob seems like a good guy."

I took a deep breath and looked up at him, "So, um…have you thought about what Peter said?"

He sighed and ran his good hand through his hair, "Yeah. I've thought about it. To be honest, the thought makes me nervous as hell. What if they don't want me to stay here anymore?"

"Jay, you're part of this family. You're not going anywhere. But it makes me really nervous too. Maybe we just wait and think about it awhile. Ya know, let things cool off a bit before we say anything."

He smiled, "I think that's a good idea. But you do plan on telling your parents about us someday?"

I laughed at my silly boy, "Jasper, I plan on spending the rest of my life with you so yeah, I figure they'll find out eventually."

He laughed, "So you're gonna love me forever, huh? Even now that my best asset is all bruised and swollen?"

I leaned over and whispered in his ear as I kissed it softly, "Your face is still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen but that's not your best asset." I put my hand on his chest above his heart and whispered, "This is."

He sighed and buried his face in my neck, "I love you so much, Edward."

I sighed, "I love you too, Jasper."

We held onto each for a few minutes before I pulled away and smiled, "So, will you still love me when I'm old and gray?"

He laughed, "As long as you still love me when I have a beer belly."

I smiled, "As long as you don't go bald, we'll be good."

He pretended to look hurt, "You won't love me if I'm old, fat, and bald?"

I smiled and grabbed his cowboy hat and placed it on his head, "I'm sure we'll find some way to make it work."

He laughed, "We always will, Edward."

We snuggled together and talked until my mom got home. I helped her carry everything into the house and we talked a little bit about her plans for Jasper's bedroom. The interior designer was coming out in her as she was very excited about making it his.

The rest of the day passed quickly and Jasper was asleep for the night. He had asked me to play the piano for him and he eventually fell asleep to it.

I got up and sat on the windowsill and looked out at the dark sky. It was beautiful and peaceful, filled with bright stars that shone down over the blackened forest. I was lost in thoughts of our future together when I saw a black shadow streak across the back yard.

I jumped and felt my heart beat start racing. My breathing was labored as I tried to calm myself down.

_It was just your imagination, Edward…probably a stray cat or something…_

Then I heard the whispering…

_Jasper…Jasper…Jasper…_

I heard soft laughter and I threw my hands over my ears to make it stop…

_It's not real, Edward…it's not real…_

More laughter…

'We're coming for him…he's ours…'

I shook my head and whispered, "No, he's mine."

More laughter…

_Please stop…please stop_

'Never'

My eyes were shut tightly as tears fell down. I was shaking and rocking back and forth…

I whispered, "Leave him alone…"

'Never'

More laughter…

I opened my eyes and saw the forest filled with red eyes staring back at me.

'We're still coming for him, Edward. We will never stop.'

I could barely breathe as I shook my head and whispered 'no' over and over again.

_It's not real, it's not real, it's not real…_

'Look at us Edward…we're real and we're coming.'

I opened my eyes and the forest was completely black…but I could still hear the laughter.

"Edward? Edward, what's wrong?"

I shook my head and rocked back and forth.

_I'm fucking crazy, that's what's wrong…_

'That's right, Edward You're crazy and no one will believe you. The moment you speak of us and they lock you away forever…we will take him…'

_You can't have him…I'll fight for him._

More laughter…

"Edward? Look at me, baby, please."

_Jasper…_

I looked up into his baby blue eyes…the color of a clear, beautiful, perfect sky…

_Don't leave me…_

"Edward, please talk to me, say something…please?"

_He's crying…I'm making him cry…say something…_

"Why are you crying, Jay? I won't let them hurt you."

He looked confused and I realized what I said so I quickly covered it up, "I'll never let your mom hurt you again, Jasper. Please don't cry."

He sat down next to me and pulled me into a hug, "Edward, what just happened with you?"

I heard the laughter but ignored it, "Nothing, Jay. I just got a little overwhelmed, I think, with everything that's happened the last few days."

We held onto each other for a little while and just rocked back and forth. Eventually the laughter subsided and I let out a sigh of relief.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes, then he sighed, "Are you sure that's all, Edward? You just seemed…so far away."

_They'll lock me away and then they'll take you from me…_

I smiled, "Yeah, Jay. Everything's fine. Let's get some sleep."

He smiled back, "Okay. You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

I nodded, "Of course, Jasper. I promise, I'm okay. I was just a little overwhelmed but everything's fine now."

_I'm sorry for lying to you, Jay but I have to keep you safe…_

"Alright, babe. Let's get to bed."

We went over to the bed and crawled in. He started to pull me into his chest like how we always slept but I pulled away, "Your ribs, Jay. Let me hold you tonight."

He smiled, "That would be nice, Eddie."

He snuggled into my chest and I wrapped my arms around him. I played with his hair until I felt him snoring softly against my chest. I held onto him as long as I could before I knew I better separate us.

I gently pulled out from underneath him and kissed his swollen lips. I whispered, "I will love you always, Jasper. Forever. Even if you're old, fat, and bald."

******************************************************************************************************************

Jasper stayed at home from school the next day and I reluctantly went to school. I walked into first period and smirked when I saw Maria. Both her eyes were black, her cheek was cut, and her top lip was split.

I took my seat and heard her snicker to Tanya, "My brother's fucked Jasper up so badly that he isn't even at school today."

I leaned over to Tanya and whispered in her ear, "It's too bad you're best friends with such an evil bitch. Perhaps things might've worked out between us if the whole school knew just what kind of person she is and how she set Jasper up in this from the very beginning. You know she begged him to fuck her. Maybe everyone else should know too."

Then I leaned back to my seat and gave her the patented crooked grin. She smiled and looked at Maria with a scowl, "I don't know why you're acting like this, Maria. You begged him to fuck you and then you get mad when he dumps you like the trash you are. Hell, he stood you up and you showed up at his house with a condom and told him that of he didn't fuck you, you'd tell everyone he was a joke. What did you expect?"

Maria turned red as everyone started laughing and whispering about what a slut she was.

By the end of the day, Maria was shunned by every friend she had and officially outcast. I gave her an evil smile as I walked past her crying in the hallway.

_That's right, bitch. Fuck with my man and I will make your life a living hell…_

When I got home, Jasper was in the kitchen helping my mom make dinner.

I smiled, "Looks like you're feeling better."

He turned, "Hey Eddie. Yeah, I'm not near as sore today."

My mom turned and smiled, "Hey, baby. How was your day?"

I smiled, "Pretty good, actually. I brought your homework for you, Jay, so you wouldn't fall behind."

"Thanks, Edward."

My mom smiled, "Why don't you boys go get started on your homework and I'll finish up here."

We made our way upstairs and spread our books out on the bed before lying down. I told Jasper about what happened with Maria and he laughed, "Jesus, Eddie! You're an evil genius!"

I just smiled, "Well, serves her right. Nobody fucks with my boyfriend and gets away with it." I leaned over and gave him a kiss and he smiled and just shook his head.

*****************************************************************************************************************

The next couple of months flew by. Jasper had finally healed completely. My mom finished his room and he moved in there. It sucked not being able to sleep together every night but we would occasionally sneak into one another bedrooms and fool around a bit.

We'd steal kisses and touches wherever we could get them.

School was going really great. Bella asked Jacob to the turnabout dance and they actually hit it off, which was great for me because she didn't fawn all over me anymore. And Jacob was on cloud nine. Him and Jasper had become pretty close. They spent a lot of time working on a motorcycle that Jasper had bought but needed rebuilt.

I became pretty close with Bella and Angela. I always thought Angela was very sweet and Bella actually was too once I really got to know her.

We had stayed a few nights with Peter and Charlotte and was forced to endure another 'hanky panky' speech. Jasper thought it was hilarious because I would turn bright red. Peter thought it was funny too, I think that's why he did it.

Jasper was doing really well in school. In fact, when our grades came out, he made straight A's and was in the top 10 percent of our class. I was really proud of him. He was just absolutely amazing to me.

Today had been our last day of school before fall break and we were invited to a Halloween party on Saturday at the rez. I was in my bed, desperately trying to fall asleep but I hadn't got the chance to kiss Jasper all day and I was aching to taste his lips.

I looked at the clock, 2:30am.

_Maybe I could sneak into his room for just a minute…_

Just as I got ready to pull back the covers, my door opened and closed. Jasper was standing there in nothing but pajama pants. He crept over to my bed and crawled in under the blanket and on top of me, straddling my waist. He didn't say a word. He didn't need to.

His eyes were hooded and he licked his bottom lip before I grabbed his hair and brought his lips crashing to mine. Our lips parted for each other immediately and I was drinking in his sweet honey taste like a man dying of thirst. We didn't leave any area of one another's mouths unexplored with our tongues and it didn't take long until his hands were yanking my t-shirt over my head.

We were in a frenzied state of need…it had been far too long since we had a chance to be together like this. Hands explored chests and backs and grabbed asses and pulled hair…moans and grunts and whimpers were resonating from both of our lips…legs and arms were tangled and pulling one another closer…

I quickly rolled him over on his back and grabbed his hands. I held them above his head as I attacked his neck. He was moaning my name softly as I nipped and licked and sucked every inch of skin of his neck and collarbone and shoulders. I just couldn't get enough.

I had my weight up off of him and his legs quickly wrapped around my waist and yanked me down roughly into him, causing that oh-so-lovely friction from our hard cocks rubbing together through the thin material of our pants and also causing another low growl from me.

Then, I was on my back and his lips were nipping and sucking and licking my neck as his hips grinded into mine earning more delicious grunts from him. One of my hands were tangled in his hair as the other slid down the back of his pants and clenched his perfect ass, encouraging him further.

His hands slipped underneath me and pushed my pants down in the back as he grabbed my ass with both hands. His fingers gripped my cheeks and he was growling as he encouraged me to meet his wild thrusts with my own.

We were moaning and grunting and his lips crashed into mine again as we moved together wildly, there was nothing sweet or slow about this…no, this was pure animalistic desire and need.

Then there was a soft knock on my door before it was pushed open. My heart stopped as I pushed Jasper off of me and he landed on the floor with a thud.

My dad walked in and said, "Edward? You awake, son? What was that thud?"

I sat up and tried to calm my racing heart, "Um…I fell asleep reading…you startled me and I must've knocked my book on the floor."

I reached down on the side of the bed and Jasper handed me a book. I picked it up and said, "Oh…see, here it is."

Luckily, Jasper was on the side of the bed by the window.

My dad came over and sat down, "Oh…well, son, we just got a call and your Aunt Celia has been in a car accident…"

"Oh God, is she okay?"

He sighed, "I don't know. Your mother's pretty shaken up. We're going to drive down there tonight. You boys are old enough to spend a few days by yourselves so we're going to go stay a few days with her until we know what's going on. Here's my bank card…you know the pin number, should you boys need anything, please use it. I trust you both. Just remember, no parties and no girls. If you need anything, just call me. We'll be about four hours away so if it's an emergency, call Chief Swan or Peter. I'm going to call them both in the morning and let them know the situation."

I nodded, "Okay, dad. Call me and let me know how she's doing."

He nodded, "I will, son. I'm going to go let Jasper know what's going on and then we'll be leaving…"

"Wait! Um…no need to wake him up. I'll let him know what's going on in the morning. He was really exhausted when he went to bed tonight."

Dad nodded and said, "You're probably right. Well, tell him what happened and to call us if he needs anything. You boys be good and I'll call you tomorrow."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Okay, dad. Be careful. Tell mom I love her and I love you too."

He smiled, "Love you too, son. Now, get some rest."

He shut the door and I looked over the side of my bed to see Jasper lying there on his back, breathing very heavily and wide eyed.

He whispered, "Fuck, that was close."

I nodded, "Yeah. Sorry for throwing you."

He grimaced, "Yeah, I landed on my dick and I think I broke it."

I smiled as I helped him up. I whispered, "I could kiss it all better…"

He groaned, "Edward…I have to go back to my room. If you're awake when they leave, come get in bed with me."

I nodded, "Okay, Jay."

He crept to the door and peeked out before sprinting down the hallway to his room.

I laid back down and smiled…

_We have the whole house to ourselves for days…_


	10. Chapter 10

**Sex On Fire by Kings of Leon**

**Jasper's POV**

I was lying in my bed thinking about everything that happened in the last few months. I had finally healed completely from the ass whooping I got at the beginning of the year and I was just thankful that it wasn't worse than it was. I had actually felt kind of bad for Maria. Both of us were pretty fucked up people so about a month after everything happened, I talked to her and we both agreed to just try and let the past go and move on.

I had spent a few nights crying about the awful things my mom had said to me but eventually I decided that I was done crying about someone who didn't love me. Besides, I was surrounded by people who loved me now. I don't know why they did, but they did.

Carlisle was such a good man. He treated me no differently than he treated Edward and I no longer felt like a guest in this house, this was my home now. We spent a lot of his free time in the garage, beating on the old punching bag. It was a lot of fun and I looked forward to our afternoons together. It didn't hurt that Carlisle was pretty fuckin hot too when he got all sweaty. Yeah, I knew it was kinda fucked up to think of my new father figure as hot…but seriously, have you seen the guy?

Esme was the best mother figure anyone could ask for. She was teaching me how to cook and I had a blast hanging out with her in the kitchen. She had completely redone the guest room and made it my own. She even went back to my mother's house the next day and gathered up all of my belongings. She found my bong though and I had to have a talk with her and Carlisle. But they believed me when I told them I hadn't done anything since the last school year and that I wouldn't do those things any more. It wasn't that hard to keep my promise because I was really happy here, so there was no reason to try and escape reality anymore.

And it was great getting to be with Edward every day. Not that things were that different than before because we were always together but still, it was nice knowing that I never had to leave and go someplace else.

The only bad thing was that our alone time was actually less than before since we weren't sleeping together every night. But I knew it was for the best.

Edward had scared me once when I was still healing. I saw him staring out the window all huddled up and whispering to himself. He had this far away look in his eye but when I questioned him about it, he had just said he was overwhelmed. I could understand that because a lot had happened but I was still concerned and kept a close eye on him. I hadn't seen anything unusual though in these last couple of months.

School was actually going really good. I was really proud of myself for doing so well and I knew that if I kept at it, I could be with Edward next year in his advanced classes and possibly on my way to getting a scholarship in the future.

Our friends were great too. I was glad that Edward had become close to Angela and Bella. It was a good thing for us to have friends outside of each other. I loved Edward with all of my heart but I knew it wasn't healthy for us to only cling to each other. I wanted Edward to be with me because he loved and wanted me…not because he couldn't stand on his own two feet without me. I wanted us to both be strong and good for each other. And I think we were doing really well so far.

I had become pretty close to Jacob. We spent a lot of time working in his garage on the bike I had bought. The kid was a mechanical wiz and I was thankful that he was helping me out. I was glad that he and Bella finally got together. He adored her and treated her the way she should be treated.

But I did get a little jealous sometimes of the relationship he had with her…not because I wanted him or anything. I mean, yeah, the boy was all kinds of fuckhot and a real sweet guy but I was jealous because he could hold hands with Bella at school. They could share intimate looks and kisses and whispers. They could go to school dances and he could put his arm around her. He could show the whole school just how he felt about the person he loved.

Those were things I couldn't do with the person I loved.

And I wanted to really bad. I would've been proud to tell the whole fuckin world that I was in love with Edward Cullen. But, I knew that if we did ever come out, things wouldn't be the same for us as they were for Jacob and Bella. People were not as accepting of two boys being together, especially high school kids.

As for our friends, I think they would probably be okay with it. I was pretty sure at least, that Bella, Angela, and Jacob wouldn't freak out about it.

I glanced over at the clock…2:30am.

_I wonder if Edward's still awake…_

I hadn't had the chance to kiss him all day. Fuck, I missed his soft lips.

_Maybe I'll sneak into his room for a good night kiss…then I'll finally be able to sleep._

I pulled back the blanket and crept to his room. When I shut his door behind me and crawled into bed with him…things just ignited.

My mind was lost in incoherent pleasure as his lips and hands were all over me. Then when he held my hands down…fuck…I really liked dominant Edward. We would definitely have to explore this side of him in the future…

But then all thoughts of pleasure were lost as I was flung to the floor and landed on my aching erection…that was now aching for different reasons.

I kept quiet as Carlisle explained what happened with Esme's sister. I felt really bad for her but at the same time, I was very excited about the idea of being completely alone with Edward for a few days.

When he left the room Edward leaned over and I told him that I broke my dick. Then he whispers that he could kiss it better…

_Fuckin tease…_

I groan and tell him to meet me in my bed when his parents leave. I creep back to my room and crawl under the blankets and wait.

My mind is clouded with images now from his little tease earlier…

_Edward on his knees…in between my legs…his hot tongue sliding across the tip of my cock…fuck_

And now I'm hard again. I know he was just teasing and he's not ready to go that far yet but my cock is throbbing in anticipation.

I hear the sound of the garage door open and close and a smile spreads across my face.

A minute later, my door opens and their's my beautiful boy in all his shirtless, pajama clad glory. I lean up on my elbows to get a better look and notice he's leaning against the door twirling a stethoscope in his fingers.

I raise an eyebrow and he grins that sexy crooked grin and says, "I heard there's a really hot boy in here with a broken cock…"

I can't help but grin now as he walks over to the bed and draws back the blanket. He sits down next to me then puts the stethoscope around his neck and in his ears and smiles, "Now don't you worry, young man…Dr. Love has the cure for what ails you…"

I laugh softly and lay back down to let the doctor go to work. He lifts the end of the stethoscope to his mouth and breathes on it to get it warm. Then he places it over my heart and grins wickedly, "My my…so tell me, Mr. Whitlock, what has your heart racing so fast?"

I groan, "Edward…"

He laughs, "So, it's this Edward boy that has your heart beating out of your chest…"

I nod, "Yeah, doc. He's the fuckin hottest boy I've ever seen…"

He looks thoughtful for a moment and says, "Hmm…I think I'd like to do some tests. Now, let's see…"

His one hand is still holding the stethoscope over my heart as his other hand starts sliding up my stomach and to my nipple as he squeezes gently. I moan and he smiles, "That certainly raised the beat of your heart a notch…but I think I need to do…more."

His soft fingertips trail down my chest and across my stomach until they reach the waist band of my pants. My breathing is already erratic when he leans down and whispers, "Can you show me _exactly _where it hurts?"

_Jesus Christ, I love this fuckin boy…_

I nod and run my hand down my stomach and under the waist band of my pants, grab my cock and pant out, "Right here, doc."

He smiles, "Well, now let's see what the love doctor can do to make you all better…"

He places the stethoscope on the nightstand and crawls on top of me. His hands grip the sides of my pants and begin dragging them down my legs as my cock springs free and I groan.

He pulls them all the way off and drops them to the floor. Then he sits up on his knees and slowly starts pulling his pants down. I watch as his hard cock is revealed to me and I instinctively lick my lips and whisper, "So fuckin beautiful…"

He sits back and pulls his pants the rest of the way off and they join mine on the floor. If he thought my heart beat was racing before…it's really goin now.

He slowly crawls on top of me and I moan softly as he lays down and our hard cocks rub together. I can feel them both twitching as they're trapped between our stomachs. His hips start moving against me and I'm fuckin lost right now in pleasure.

He moans in my ear before taking it between his teeth and fuckin growlin as he reaches down between us and rubs the palm of his hand over the heads of both our cocks. Once he spreads around the pre cum, he takes both of our cocks in his hand and starts pumping them together. My hands are on his ass and I moan, "Oh God…who are you and what the fuck did you do with my sweet, shy boyfriend?"

He raises up with that crooked grin and hooded eyes and in a rough voice laced with lust he says, "Fuck the shy bullshit…we're way past that…"

And I just can't take anymore…

I sit up quickly so we're facing each other, then I reach over to my nightstand and open the drawer. I pull out my bottle of lotion and he raises an eyebrow. I give him an evil smile right back before I pour a little in my hand and reach down between us, lace my fingers with his and we both start stroking our now hard, wet cocks.

His head lulls back and he moans loudly, "Oh fuck yeah…"

Both of us lean back with our free hands and watch what we're doing. Our eyes are fixated on our thick, hard cocks as they are pushed together and being stroked furiously with our interlocked hands.

Then our hips start moving against each other as our movements are becoming wild as we draw closer to release.

We quickly develop a rhythm and I can't help but look up at his beautiful face that's twisted in pleasure as he cries out, "Oh God Jay…I'm so close…"

I growl, "Fuckin cum with me, Edward…"

A few more wild strokes and I see stars as my eyes travel down and take in the sight of the thick creamy liquid erupting from both of our cocks and coating our hands and stomachs.

Edward's face is beyond beautiful as he screams out my name, "Oh God, Jasper!"

And I screamed out his, "Fuck…Edward!"

We both collapsed behind us and struggle to gain our breathing. I have to clear the fuckin stars from my eyes and eventually I hear snoring.

I raise up and see Edward has fallen asleep with a soft smile on his face. I laugh softly to myself before disentangling my legs from his. I get up and walk to the bathroom and grab a wet wash cloth. I clean myself up then go back to my bed and gently clean Edward.

He sighs softly but doesn't wake up. I throw the wash cloth in the hamper and figure that he'll probably be back to his shy self in the morning when he wakes up and realizes we're both naked in my bed. So I go and grab his robe and lay it over the footboard of my bed before crawling in next to him. He's at the wrong end of the bed, so I grab the pillow from the top and bring it down to the end of the bed. I carefully lift his head and slide the pillow underneath it. He rolls to his side and I wrap my arms around him from behind so that we're spooning. I pull the blanket over us and kiss his shoulder. I whisper, "Sweet dreams, Dr. Love."

And then I'm out like a light.

* * *

I wake up to the sound of my phone. I reach over and grab it from my nightstand and flip it open. My voice is still thick with sleep, "Hey Carlisle."

"Hey son. Did Edward let you know what happened?"

I snuggle back into Edward, "Yeah, how's she doing?"

"She's in stable condition. Looks like we'll be here at least until Monday. Are you boys okay on your own till then?"

_Hell yeah, it's only Friday._

"Yeah, Carlisle, we'll be fine. We've got Peter and Chief Swan if anything happens so don't worry about us."

He sighs, "I hate leaving you boys all alone."

"We're fine here. Please don't worry yourself about us, just take care of Esme and tell we love her."

"I will son. Is Edward awake?"

_Nope…I wore him out last night and he's still sleeping naked in my bed…_

"No, he's still sleeping. Do you want me to wake him up?"

"No, that's alright. I'll call you boys later. If you need anything, just call me."

"We will, Carlisle. Take care of yourself and we'll talk to you soon."

"Alright, son. Bye."

"Bye."

I flip my phone shut and wrap my arms back around my beautiful sleeping boy. He sighs and I'm thankful that my during my talk with Carlisle, my mornin wood has softened a bit.

But then Edward groans and backs into me and yep, I'm hard again. I pull my hips away so that he doesn't completely freak out when he wakes up. Then he sighs as his hand goes to his eyes and starts rubbing them.

Then I hear him take a sharp breath and raise the blanket to look down. He gasps and pulls the blanket up to his chin. I laugh softly and kiss his shoulder, "Mornin darlin."

He turns to look at me and his face is redder than I have ever seen it, "Uh…morning, Jay."

I smile, "So, there's my sweet, shy boyfriend. I was worried I had lost him to his alter ego, Dr. Love."

He got even redder, who knew…

He groans, "I actually did that, didn't I?"

I smile, "You sure did, doc. C'mon, wanna go take a shower?"

He looks under the blanket again and whispers, "I'm naked."

I can't help the laughter now as my sweet little Eddie is still bright red. So I sit up and yank the blanket completely off us and yell, "Holy shit! I'm naked too!"

His hands fly to his crotch and he looks back at me and smirks, "Very funny."

I shake my head and grab his bathrobe, "Here, Eddie."

He smiles and takes the robe, "Thanks."

I just nod as he pulls it on. I get out of bed and walk to my bathroom forgoing my robe. We've seen each other naked on more than one occasion and…well, I just prefer to be naked whenever possible…just the way the good Lord intended. I know I probably should be a little less eager to walk around in the buff cuz of my scars but…fuck it, I still look good.

I look back at Edward who's staring intently at my ass. His head lifts up quick to look into my eyes and he turns red again since I caught him checking me out. I just laugh, "Hey, man, if you wanna take a shower in your room, that's okay. I'll just be a few minutes and then we can make some breakfast. But you're welcome to join me, if you want, Edward."

He nods but doesn't move from his sitting position on the bed as I turn on the shower and brush my teeth while waiting for it to get hot. I watch him get up and leave my room. I sigh, a little sad he won't be joining me but I don't wanna make him uncomfortable. One thing I've noticed with Edward is that the old saying, "The freaks come out at night," is definitely true. Edward was always more brave at nighttime.

I quickly shower and once I'm done and dry, I pull on a pair of jeans but decide against a shirt.

I walk downstairs to the kitchen and start fryin up some bacon. A few minutes later, Edward comes down. I take in the sight of him and I can feel my heart beat a little faster. His sexy as fuck hair is still damp and the bronze color is just…well, beautiful. He's wearing a pair of dark jeans and a dark green t-shirt with a flannel over it but unbuttoned.

_God he's good looking…_

He smiles, "Sorry about…um…freaking out a bit."

I walk up to him and cock my head, "Can I have my good mornin kiss now?"

He gives me that crooked grin before closing his eyes and brushing his lips to mine. It's a soft, sweet kiss and it's just perfect.

When we part, he sighs with a sweet lazy grin on his face, "Good morning, Jay."

He helps me make breakfast and soon we're sitting down at the kitchen table eating bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast. We talk a little while we eat and I fill him in on my conversation with Carlisle.

We finish breakfast and decide to play some video games. We spend the morning playing around and just hanging out. Pretty soon, it's lunch time so we head to the kitchen and make grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

And I'm picturing us together in the future…living in our own house, cooking together, playing around and having fun.

Once we're finished, we wash the dishes and put them away. As I'm drying my hands, I turn to him, "So, Edward, what do ya wanna do now?"

He shrugs, "I don't care."

I think for a moment then look into his pretty green eyes, "Wanna play some ball?"

He smiles a brilliant smile, "Those are the very first words you ever said to me."

I nod, "Yeah, I remember. And you looked behind you cuz you didn't think I was talkin to you."

He smiles shyly, "I just never thought someone like you would waste your time with someone like me."

I walk up to him and put my arms around his waist, bringing him close to me and I smile, "You just have no clue how fuckin beautiful you are, do you?" He looks down at the ground shyly and I lift his chin to look back at me.

I whisper, "Edward, you don't see yourself clearly. When I look at you, I see a boy who is just as gorgeous on the outside as he is on the inside. You're brave and strong and smart and you're _so _good, Edward. I can't believe you actually gave me the time of day."

He smiles, "You think I'm brave and strong and…gorgeous?"

"You are the bravest, strongest person I know. And, Jesus Christ, Edward…you are _so fuckin gorgeous_…and you're so good at everything. I mean, fuck, Eddie, you kiss so damn good ya turned me gay."

He starts laughing and I smile brightly for making him laugh.

_I love making him laugh…his whole face lights up._

He looks into my eyes and has that crooked little grin on his face, "Um…wanna go make out?"

I grab his hand, "Yeah…on the couch this time…" and I lead him over to the couch. I push him down on his back and he pulls me down with him. We kiss deeply as our hands roam each other's body. I slide one hand underneath his t-shirt and explore his nicely developed chest while my other hand is wrapped up in his sex hair.

His hands are clenching my bare back and I groan into his mouth as he pushes them underneath the waist of my jeans and grabs my ass. I pull away and begin kissing and sucking the soft skin on his neck. He moans softly and then I grab him by his flannel shirt and pull him up to a sitting position.

I push the shirt over his shoulders and slide it off, dropping it on the floor. My hands trail up his bicep and underneath the arms of his t-shirt, gripping his shoulders as my mouth never leaves the soft skin of his neck and collarbone.

Then his hands reach behind him and grip his t-shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it. My mouth is back to his collar bone as I lick and suck the skin there. Up to this point, we have never trailed kisses anywhere lower than the neck, except for the occasional peck…but right now, I'm ready to kiss a little lower.

I lean him back down as my hands trail down his sides, gripping his hips as I begin moving down his body. I kiss his chest and his breathing hitches when I snake my tongue out and lick down the center of his pecs. Then I slide my tongue across his muscle to his nipple but I circle around it instead of taking it into my mouth. I look up and see him staring down at me with hooded lust filled eyes, his lips parted just a trace as his breathing is ragged.

I continue staring into his emerald eyes as I swirl my tongue around his nipple causing it to pebble and harden…he whimpers and I smile. I close my lips around it and suck gently as his head falls back with a throaty moan. His fingers immediately tangle themselves in my hair and my fingers are gripping onto the flesh of his hips.

His hips are now moving against my leg that's in-between his, no doubt, trying to create some friction as I feel his hardness on my thigh. I lick and kiss my way over to his other nipple and repeat the action, only this time I nip it gently with my teeth and he moans loudly, "More…please Jay…more." And so I decide to give him more.

My lips and tongue begin trailing further down to his stomach. I dip my tongue in his belly button and he's writhing beneath me as his fingers now clench my shoulders and his back arches.

I kiss and suck and lick every inch of skin on his stomach and eventually work my way to his hipbone. I nip at it and his dick is now rock hard and twitching against my chest and collarbone through his jeans.

My tongue slides from his hip to that delicious little V until I am sucking the skin right above the button on his jeans. My eyes travel up his hard body until they meet lust filled green eyes.

I raise up on my hands and just dip my head down as I lick my tongue out and take long, slow strides along his lower stomach. My eyes never leave his…I'm looking for any signs of fear or trepidation but I see none.

So I lower myself down to my elbows on either side of his waist and my hands come to the button on his jeans. He's trembling and panting and I love to watch the way his sexy stomach rises up and down from his ragged breathing.

Very slowly, I push the button of his jeans through and pull the zipper down. He's up on his elbows, watching every move I make in complete fascination. And I can't help but smile up at him because…well, I _really _fuckin love him.

And he smiles back and whispers, "I love you, Jasper."

And that's all I need to hear to strengthen my resolve to go further. I raise up and grab the sides of his jeans and boxers and start tugging them down. I smile at my sweet, beautiful boy and whisper, "I love you too, Edward."

He lifts his hips allowing me to get them down and my mouth literally waters at the sight of his big, thick cock. I pull his clothes completely off and drop them to the ground. I lower myself down between his legs and trace my tongue down that V all the way to soft, bronze curls.

My tongue travels over to his pelvic bone where I suck and nip. He's moaning my name softly as his body is still writhing against me. I move to his other side and repeat my actions on his pelvic bone before sucking on his inner thigh gently.

He groans and I watch as his cock throbs and twitches. His hands are gripping the couch cushion underneath him as he watches me intently. I trail licks and kisses down his inner thighs to the back of his knees and he moans loudly as I suck the skin there.

My tongue devours every inch of skin from his knees and down his strong calves until I reach his feet. And, call me weird if you want to but I love Edward's feet. They're just really cute to me for some reason and I can't help but slide my tongue along the bottom before reaching his toes and sucking them gently into my mouth.

He's looking at me like he's getting ready to pass out from pleasure. His hands tangle themselves in his own hair as he moans, "Holy mother of God, Jay…what the hell are you doing to me?"

I lift his other leg and continue my newly found fetish as I suck on his toes and trail to his ankle…up his calf…the back of his knee…and finally back up to his inner thigh.

I raise myself up on my hands until my mouth is right above his stiff cock. His eyes are back on mine and I lean down and trail my nose gently along his shaft as I whisper, "Can I taste you _here_, Edward?"

I've never seen his eyes as intense as they are now as he nods and breathily whispers, "Please…please, Jay…" And I know I should be nervous because I've never done this before…but I'm too excited to care and besides, even of I'm not very good at it, it's not like he'll know the difference. And nothing else matters because I'm about to give Edward his first blow job and I just want to make sure that it's beyond incredible for him. I was terrified the first time I had gotten head and I was kind of…having a do over with Edward's first experience.

I dipped my head down and ran my tongue from the base of his dick, along the thick vein underneath up to the head. His hands were back to gripping the couch cushions as I swirled my tongue around the swollen head gently. I looked up and kept my eyes on his as he bit his lip to stifle a moan.

I slipped my tongue across the slit and finally got my first real taste of Edward. And he tasted better than I could've ever imagined.

I moan from just the taste of him on my tongue and I wrap my lips around the head of his cock and suck gently as I continue swirling my tongue around the tip and dip it across his slit.

And now my heart is beating through my chest as I close my eyes and relax my throat. I slowly move down over his shaft, taking as much of it as I can down my throat. Then I realize, I'm going to have to work my way down because he's really big and I've never done this before.

So I continue sucking him slowly up and down…going just a little further down each time. Edward is moaning insensately…

"Oh God Jay…so good…don't stop…I love you…ugh…I'm…so…close…"

And finally, I feel his soft curls tickle my nose and I realize that I've taken him all the way down my throat. I open my eyes and see his burning into mine and I know he's about to explode.

I suck roughly and move my tongue along his soft skin as much as possible before he screams out, "Oh God…I'm gonna cum, Jay…"

I know he's warning me cuz he thinks I'm gonna move…but I have no intention of releasing his cock from my mouth until I've drank him in completely.

His hand reaches down and slides along my cheek, cupping it lovingly. His face is twisted in pleasure but his eyes never leave mine as he spills himself into me. I feel it hit the back of my throat and I suck greedily to taste every last drop.

He's moaning my name softly over and over again like a prayer.

He collapses against the couch and I move up and finally release his softening cock.

He has the most beautiful lazy grin on his face and I smile because I'm the one that put it there. He giggles as his cheeks turn red, "God Jay…that was…amazing…thank you."

And even though I'm painfully hard right now…I can't bring myself to care. I smile at Edward and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by how strongly I'm feeling right now. I've never felt anything so strong before in my life and I know that Edward _is _and always will be the only one for me.

I reach down and grab his boxers before slipping them over his feet and sliding them up his legs until their in place. And then…he's up on his knees and facing me as I sit with my back against the couch. He quickly straddles my lap and his lips are on mine. His hands grip my hair and his tongue swirls around mine, tasting himself as we kiss.

He pulls away and begins devouring my neck and collarbone as he whispers, "I love you" over and over again. And my body is on fire and my heart is close to bursting cuz I not only hear his words…I feel them with every touch and kiss.

His kisses travel further down as he takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks sharply causing my head to fall back against the couch as I moan, "So good…"

Then he's on his knees, in-between my legs as he kisses and licks my chest and stomach. His fingers make quick work of the button and zipper of my jeans and he begins tugging them down.

I look down at him through eyes that are already hazy with desire and whisper, "Edward, you don't have to do this…"

He looks up at me and smiles, "I know I don't, Jay, because you would never ask me to do something I wasn't ready to do. But I'm ready for this. I want this. Please let me suck your cock, Jasper."

God, I practically came just from him asking to suck me…

I look into his eyes searching for anything that would tell me he didn't really wanna do this…but all I saw was complete love and devotion. I brush my fingers across his cheek and whisper, "Are you sure?"

He turns his head and kisses my palm…then he flashes me an evil grin before sucking my pointer finger into his mouth and moaning around it.

_Good God that feels good…_

While I'm distracted, his hands are back on the waist of my jeans as he yanks them roughly down and I lift my hips to let him. He pulls them off and since I was goin commando, I'm now completely naked.

His mouth releases my finger with a 'pop' and he smiles, "Yes, I'm sure." I laugh softly and brush my fingers through his hair, "You're so cute, Edward."

His lips attach themselves to my hips and he moans, "And you're so fucking sexy, Jasper…"

I continue brushing my fingers through his hair as he kisses and sucks on my pelvic bone. Now I'm writhing beneath him as my breathing becomes shallow and I'm trying my best to control my hips and not move.

His warm hand grasps my dick and I moan a low, long moan as I feel his hot breath on the tip. I look down into his eyes and now he looks scared. I tilt his chin up to look at me and say, "Edward…it's okay, you don't have to do this…"

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath, "I…I really want to…I'm just…you're so experienced…and I just…I don't know what I'm doing…I might be really bad at it."

I'm still holding his chin and looking into his eyes as I whisper, "Edward, I love you. Every small touch you give me, brings me more happiness and more pleasure than I have ever known because I know you love me too. This is all new to me too because I've never been in love and I've never been loved. There's no way you could ever do anything bad in my eyes."

I watch as his eyes soften and his lips turn up into a sweet smile, "I love you too, Jasper. So, if I…uh…do something wrong, just tell me."

I give him a small nod but know that there's no way possible for Edward's mouth on me to be anything short of earth shattering.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as his tongue tentatively reaches out and licks across the slit of my cock. My eyes close for just a moment as I take in the gravity of what's happening.

_Edward Cullen is giving me a blow job…holy fuckin hell…_

I moan softly and open my eyes because I just have to watch…just to make sure this is really happening. His tongue swirls around the head a few times before taking it into his hot, wet mouth and sucking gently.

Now I'm gripping the couch cushions beneath me in an effort to keep my hips still and not thrust down his throat. He slowly starts working his way down as his tongue continues lavishing my skin with attention. His hand starts working it's way up and twists around the base of my shaft as he gently sucks more and more down his throat.

I'm feeling beyond intoxicated now and I can barely see straight…all I can do is feel. He finally opens his eyes and looks up at me. And that's about all I can take because the sight of my cock in Edward's mouth and his beautiful eyes looking up at me filled with so much love and trust…every nerve in my body is on sensory overload.

I moan, "Edward…I'm gonna cum, baby…"

My hand goes to his hair but I only brush my fingers through it so that I'm not tempted to hold his head there.

I expected him to move but instead he swallows around me as I cum deep in his throat. I'm seeing nothing but a haze of colors swirling around me and I can say without a doubt, no one has ever made me feel like this before.

He finally releases me and wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand. I smile down at him with a lazy, completely satisfied grin and whisper, "That was better than anything I've ever felt in my whole life, Edward. Thank you."

He smiles shyly at me and once again, I'm overwhelmed. I pull him up to me and kiss his soft lips gently and whisper that I love him. He whispers it back as he lays himself back down on the couch and pulls me with him. He scoots to the side a little so I can rest my body next to his. My head is on his chest and my arms are wrapped around his back. Our legs are tangled together and he has one arm around my back and his other hand is sweeping through my curls.

He reaches up and grabs the blanket laying on the back of the couch and throws it over us. I lay there completely content and happier than I ever thought I could be. And before I drift off to sleep…I think to myself that I still have the whole weekend alone with him and I wanna do something really special for him.

_We've never been on a date before…maybe I can work something out…_


	11. Chapter 11

**Again, I have to thank you guys so much for all the sweet reviews. I'm so glad you're enjoying my boys...so here's another angst free chapter before things start moving along.**

**Edwin McCain - I'll Be and Counting Crows - Colorblind**

**Edward's POV**

I laid there on the couch with the most amazing boy in my arms, feeling his hot breath against my chest and running my fingers through perfect golden curls.

_I can't believe we just…did that. God, the way he looked at me as he took me into his mouth…so beautiful and loving. The feel of his tongue against my skin…ugh…and those dark blue eyes filled with love and lust and need. And I saw the way he watched me…looking in my eyes to make sure I was okay. He's just incredible. I never knew anyone could love the way he does. Jasper may have a tough exterior but inside…he was amazingly tender and sweet. And he loves me as much as I love him_…_I can feel it with every touch and every word._

_He does all these little things that are, in the grand scheme of things, pretty big. Like how he had my robe waiting for me this morning…he just knew I'd be embarrassed once I woke up. He's always looking out for me and taking care of me. _

_I don't know what came over me last night. Sometimes I just feel so different…I lose my inhibtions and I feel aggressive but then, just as quickly, my whole mood can change and I can be really timid and shy again. I guess it doesn't really matter because he seems to like both sides of me._

_I can't believe I gave and received my first blow job. Wow. Everything was just so perfect. Every new experience he gives me is beyond wonderful. I wish I was his first at everything too but I guess it's a good thing that one of us has some experience…even though the thought of him with anyone else makes my blood boil. He's mine. Forever. And I'm his. Forever._

_God he tasted so good. It was a little awkward at first because it was so new to me, but I really enjoyed it. Hearing the soft moans and feeling the soft silky skin that cradles his long steel cock…ugh…yeah, I liked it a lot. It seemed like a did a pretty good job. _

_Maybe I can do some research and figure out how to do it better. I've never watched porn before…maybe I'll have to sneak away at some point and get some tips. I wonder how he was able to take all of me down his throat? I need to learn how to do that. I could just ask him…I'll have to think about that some more._

I finally drifted off to sleep, completely satisfied and filled with so much love…

Eventually, the sound of the doorbell woke me up. I sat up and stretched as I tried to wake myself up and noticed that it was twilight outside.

_Where's Jasper?_

I hurriedly pulled on my jeans and t-shirt as I scanned the area for him, "Jay?! Where are you?"

The doorbell rang again and I stumbled over to it as I listened for any sign of where he might be.

_Why would he leave me to sleep alone?_

I sighed and pulled open the door. I furrowed my brows as I saw Jasper standing there with a beautiful dimpled grin. He was leaning against the doorway with one arm while he held the other behind his back. He looked incredible. He was wearing a nice pair of dark jeans and a midnight blue button up over top of a white wife beater.

I was confused, "Jay? Why'd you ring the doorbell?"

His smile grew even wider and I saw the faint trace of a blush on his cheeks. He brought his arm around from behind his back and he held a single red rose in his hand. I smiled now as he handed the rose to me and said, "Did you know that roses are my favorite flower?"

I'm kind of dumbfounded for the moment and just shake my head. He bites his lip nervously for just a second before continuing, "The red rose symbolizes a deep love and respect…passion and devotion."

I'm trying to remember how to speak again as my breathing has become a little shallow, "I didn't know you even liked flowers…"

_God, I wish I could be as smooth as he is…_

He lifts his hand to my cheek and brushes his fingertips across it as he whispers, "I like pretty things, Edward."

And I'm just…speechless. I just stare into those sensual pools of deep blue which is the tell tale sign that Jasper is feeling a little worked up right now. I could always tell his mood by his eyes…baby blue when he was light and happy…but the more worked up he got, the darker they got.

He lowers his hand and stands up straight and his eyes are burning into mine, "Edward, I'd like to take you out on a date. Would you go with me?"

I'm shocked and still a little confused but completely willing to follow him anywhere. I smile back and I know my cheeks are crimson, "Uh…of course I would, Jay…but, um…how?"

He sighs, "I know I don't have a car or a license or even any money but what I do have is a pretty good imagination and a whole hell of a lot of love for you, Edward. So, get your shoes on and meet me back here in five minutes."

I watch as he turns and pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. I know he must be nervous because the only times he smokes now is when he's really nervous about something or really pissed or occasionally after an extremely intense make out session.

I turn and run upstairs and throw on some socks and shoes. I quickly change out of my t-shirt into a chocolate long sleeved thermal shirt because I know he really likes this color on me. Then I run to the bathroom and brush my teeth and try to do something with my hair but then I just give up because it's going to do whatever the hell it wants anyway.

I smile one last time at the rose lying on my nightstand and I run back downstairs. I walk outside on the front porch and he smiles, "You look amazing, Eddie." I smile shyly and softly say, "So do you."

He holds out his strong hand and I place mine in it. I smile, "So, where are we going?"

He smiles and I can see that faint blush in his cheeks again as he starts guiding me around to the back of the house, "Well, like I said before…I can't really take you anywhere so I…um…"

Then we round the corner and I'm in awe. The old wooden gazebo in the back yard is now adorned with hundreds of white twinkly lights and there's a small table in the middle of it. The table has a red tablecloth on it and two lit candles surrounded by a few wildflowers. There's dishes on the table covered by lids.

The speakers that are hooked up outside are docked to his Ipod as slow music fills the brisk autumn air. The forest that surrounds our house is bursting with color as the brightly colored leaves of crimson, gold, ginger only help to create the perfect backdrop. The sky is purple and pink as the sun bows gracefully down and welcomes the moonlight.

I look over at him and his cheeks are scarlet and he's holding his breath. He looks at me and I can see the nervousness in his eyes as he whispers, "This is really corny, isn't it?"

And the corner of my mouth turns up at the scene laid out before me. And I'm just drawn to his lips with the need to push away all doubts and reservations he has because I am completely lovestruck.

My hands grasp the collar of his shirt as I crash my lips to his and pour every bit of love and utter devotion I have into this kiss. His hands are quickly tangled in my hair as we will our bodies to become closer than humanly possible. His lips part and I breathe him in as my tongue slow dances with his to the soft music floating on the air around us. And I am lost in perfection and love and devotion.

After an infinite amount of time, because time stands still when his lips are on mine, I slowly pull away. And I'm certain that if the kiss didn't convince him that this was anything but corny…the dazed and awestruck look of love on my face would.

He smiles shyly now and whispers, "So, you like it?"

I slowly nod because my vocal chords have gone AWOL on me and eventually I manage a breathy, "Just…perfect."

He lets out a breath he has been holding and graces me with his dimpled smile again as his hand takes mine and leads me to the gazebo. He pulls out my chair for me and smiles nervously, "Um…I'm not trying to treat you like the girl or anything, Edward…I just…well, I've never really been on a real date before. I mean, we've taken girls to the movies and stuff but this is different and I'm not really sure exactly what I'm supposed to do."

And I'm taken in with this new nervous Jasper. He's always so confident and sure of everything so I know how hard this must be for him to be out of his element. I'm always out of my element. And I can't help but think…that it's absolutely adorable.

So as he takes his seat, I take his hand and smile, "You're doing good, Jay."

He smiles again and chews his bottom lip for just a moment. Then he whispers, "Thanks, Edward."

And I whisper back, "Thank you, Jasper."

He pulls the lids off our plates and says, "I still don't know how to cook a whole lotta stuff yet so I figured spaghetti was pretty fail proof."

I grin widely because he's the cutest thing I've ever seen, "It looks great, Jay. I can't believe you made us dinner."

He just laughs as I can see his confidence coming back, "Well, this is just the first part of our date. I made dessert too. And I was gonna get a bottle of wine but decided on Coke instead."

I laugh now, "Coke's good."

And with that, all his nervousness fades away and we began eating and talking and laughing. The spaghetti is fantastic and I'm really touched by all the planning and time he's put into this.

Once dinner is done, he takes the dishes into the house and brings us dessert. He sets the plates down along with a small lidded jar and smiles, "I got the recipe from your mama's cookbook. It's called a blondie. It's like a brownie but with butterscotch cuz I know you're not real big into chocolate. And I brought some honey for you to drizzle over top of it." He lifts the lid of the jar to reveal the sticky honey inside.

I can't help but laugh, "A blondie and honey…my two very favorite things."

He smiled, "I was wonderin if you were gonna catch that."

He pulled out the honey stick and drizzled some over my blondie.

_I am so going to use that honey for other things later…_

I took a bite and actually moaned. He grinned, "Good?" I nodded, "Heaven." He gave me a knee weakening look as his eyes were as dark as the midnight sky and his sexy honey voice drawled out, "Not yet, darlin…but don't you worry, we'll get there."

Little did he know that he _was _my Heaven. Whenever he was with me…I was already there.

We finished eating and once we were done, he took my hand and said, "C'mon, Eddie."

His strong fingers held mine as we walked over closer to the woods. I saw a big blanket laid out across the ground and his guitar lying on top of it. We took off our shoes and sat down as he guided me to sit with my back against his chest. He reached over and pulled the end of the blanket over my lap. Then he grabbed his guitar and laid it across my lap as his hands gripped it while his arms were around me. I sighed, content and happy as I laid my head back against his shoulder and he started strumming it softly.

Then he begins singing softly in my ear and the heat of his breath with the sweet honey scent lingers and I am captivated.

_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful_

_Stop me and steal my breath_

_And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky_

_Never revealing their depth_

_And tell me that we belong together_

_Dress it up with the trappings of love_

_I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips_

_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

_And I'll be your cryin' shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide _

_And I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

_And rain falls angry on the tin roof_

_As we lie awake in my bed_

_And you're my survival, you're my living proof_

_My love is alive, and not dead_

_And tell me that we belong together_

_Dress it up with the trappings of love._

_I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips_

_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

_And I'll be your cryin' shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide_

_And I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life _

_I dropped out, I burned up, _

_I fought my way back from the dead, _

_I tuned in, I turned on, remembered the thing that you said_

_ I'll be your cryin' shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide_

_And I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

And once he's finished, he lays the guitar down and his arms are wrapped tightly around me. I feel completely safe and secure and loved. I tilt my head up to look into his midnight eyes and they are on fire. I can see the love and desire burning from within him through those angel eyes.

My body turns slightly as my hand reaches up to his chin and gently pulls his plump soft lips to mine. His kiss is tender and sweet…fiery and passionate…loving and lustful…so many emotions are lingering on his lips and tongue as I begin to feel intoxicated from drinking him in.

Together, our bodies gravitate towards the ground and we are lying side by side locked in a lover's embrace. The long blanket is now wrapped around us as we also lay on it. And there's something so intimate yet so freeing about all of this. I can feel the cool wind through my hair and I can hear the crickets chirping in the forest. We're outside now…in the real world yet we're still in complete solitude and safe from judging eyes.

His hands slide up the back of my shirt as I begin unbuttoning his…our lips never parting. I feel his calloused fingers brush along my spine and shoulders…and it's excruciatingly exquisite. I gently pull away from the kiss so he can glide the shirt up and off.

And then my lips are back home to his beautiful lips as my hands push his shirt down over his shoulders and off. My leg is in-between his and I can feel him growing harder against my thigh with each passing second. And I begin to feel powerful because _I _am making him feel like this. My hands slide up inside the wife beater until our lips must part again so that I can lift it up and off of his stunning, strong body.

And he moans as my lips trail down to his neck and shoulders. His hands caress and adore every inch of exposed flesh on my back and chest as mine do the same exploration of his beautiful, sculpted chest.

Then I start to feel very bold. My hands travel to the button of his jeans and quickly release it. A moment later, I'm pulling down the zipper and gripping the sides of his jeans and boxers. He lifts his hips so I can pull them down his long legs. I gently push him until he is lying flat on his back. My lips find his again as I kiss him tenderly and whisper, "I'll be right back."

He looks confused as I jump up and run to the gazebo. I grab the little jar of honey and run back. I quickly slide back under the blanket and relish in the warm heat of his body against mine.

I lift my leg and straddle his waist. I grab the jar of honey and hold it above his chest. As I pull out the honey stick, I whisper, "I need to drizzle some honey over my blondie."

He laughs softly and I smile as I pull the honey stick out and watch a thin stream of honey fall to his neck and shoulder. I set the jar down and lean into his neck. With long, languid licks I taste the honey from his skin and it's the best honey I've ever tasted.

So I continue. I trail more honey down his chest and around his nipples before running my tongue across the sticky lines and heated flesh. His soft moans are dancing in the cool breeze around us. When I reach his hip bone, he's rock hard and whispering my name over and over like a prayer into the crisp nighttime air.

I suck the honey from his hips and move down a little further. He gasps when he feels the sticky pleasure drip slowly along his hard cock, starting at the base of his shaft and trailing up to the perfect swollen head.

I set the jar down and my eyes never leave his as my tongue glides up the sticky trail, tasting his beautiful cock for the second time today. I run my tongue up the stiffened shaft until I reach the wet tip. My eyes are still locked with his as my tongue snakes out and licks the slit, capturing the taste of his creamy goodness mixed in with the sticky sweetness of pure honey.

We both moan from the feast I'm having. I lavish his hardness in long, wet licks as my hands stroke the flesh of his thighs lovingly. I can feel the goose bumps on his skin so I look up into his eyes and whisper, "Are you cold?"

He shakes his head and his whisper is quivering and breathless, "No…I'm very, very warm."

Satisfied that it is me causing the prickly rise of his heated flesh, I smile and lower my head back down, taking the head of his length into my warm mouth. My tongue teases and swirls around his hardness as I slowly work my way down, trying to taste as much of my love as possible.

His hand is softly brushing through my hair and the simple touch of his rough fingertips sets my body on fire. He whispers, "Bring your legs to the side, Edward…I need to touch you, darlin…please…"

And how could I ever deny the sweet southern boy who has brought me back to life again.

I am on all fours as I move my legs to one side of his waist but continue the soft, wet kiss upon his beautiful length. My eyes are closed as his hand swiftly unbuttons and unzips my jeans. His coarse fingertips slide into my boxers and wrap gently around my length.

I moan around him as his perfect rough palm moves up and down my cock creating the most delicious friction. His thumb sweeps across my weeping slit and coats his fingers with the wetness there.

I am lost in pleasure.

The taste and feel of satin over steel between my lips…against my tongue…down my throat…coupled with the feel of his warm hand lovingly pumping my own satin skin has me reeling.

My hips move back and forth to help the slow seductive pumps of his hand slide along easily over my throbbing length. The soft moans and whispers and ragged breaths fall from both of our lips as we love each other in the most intimate of ways.

The cool breeze carries his whispers of love to me and my tongue drips with my love for him.

I'm trembling above him and he's quivering below me as the strength and passion of our actions bring us to the edge of peaceful oblivion.

"Ugh…Oh God Edward…I love you so much…I'm gonna cum, darlin…"

Anxious to taste the sweetest of honey, I suck him deeply into my mouth and moan as his sticky sweetness spills from him and into me. His body is shaking and trembling as I continue to taste him until his beautiful cock has softened.

I release him from my mouth and sit back on my knees as his hand is still wrapped around me and bringing me so close to ecstasy. My eyes close from the intensity of it all and a moment later, I am completely enveloped in wet warmth.

I open my eyes and look down to gaze upon a halo of golden curls blowing softly in the wind as he takes me into his mouth. My hand brushes through those angelic curls as he loves me from the inside.

And everything around me melts into a dripping canvas of vivid color and hazy hues as I spill into his warm, waiting mouth and quiver as he swallows around me, drinking me in.

He releases me and we're both panting and shivering…unclear if it's from the crisp nighttime air or from the intensity of our emotions.

He's on his knees now in front of me and his arms wrap around me and pull me close as his lips make their way home. And then, our lips part and we taste each other on our tongues and it's a beautiful and perfect blending of us.

He gently pulls away and rests his forehead against mine as he shakily whispers, "We should go inside, Edward. It's getting cold out here."

But I am warm. My hands slide down his chest and feel the sticky remnants of my feast upon his flesh. I smile, "Would you like to take a hot bath with me?"

He grins that dimpled grin and his eyes light up, "Yeah."

He pulls on his jeans and I pull mine up. He grabs the blanket and his guitar as I grab the honey and the candles from the table. We decide to clean up the gazebo in the morning as we rush inside to escape the chilly air.

We make our way upstairs and into the main bathroom because it has a big garden tub. He begins filling the tub with warm water and I reach into his jeans pocket making him gasp. I smile as I pull out his lighter and light the candles I've brought with me.

And for the time being, I am completely forgone of any shyness because he makes me feel bold and powerful and sexy. We strip off the remainder of our clothes and he gets in first and guides my back against his chest.

We just lay there awhile, talking and laughing. And I am comfortable because I am at home in his strong arms. I ask if I can wash his hair for him and he obliges. I pour the warm water over those golden curls and run my fingers through to wash away the shampoo.

Once I'm finished, he asks to wash mine. And to me, this is as intimate as anything else we've done. Unconditional love and trust bind us together so completely that it's sometimes difficult for me to know where one of us ends and the other begins.

Eventually we pull ourselves from the tub with wrinkled fingertips and toes. Instead of binding clothes, we both pull on our robes and as we leave the bathroom, I grab his hand and lead him to my bedroom.

He comes along easily as I walk over to my piano. I sit on the bench and scoot back, bringing him to sit in front of me with his back against my chest. My head rests in the crook of his neck and my arms reach around him to the black and white keys. I whisper, "Can I sing for you?"

His head turns as his soft blue eyes gaze into mine, "Please."

I have played for him many times but have never had the courage to sing. Well, tonight I'm feeling brave. My fingers begin their love affair with the keys and I sing softly in his ear, enjoying the prickly raised flesh that I'm causing on the back of his neck.

_I am colorblind_

_Coffee black and egg white_

_Pull me out from inside_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am_

_Taffy stuck, tongue tied_

_Stuttered shook and uptight_

_Pull me out from inside_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am...fine_

_I am covered in skin_

_No one gets to come in_

_Pull me out from inside_

_I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding_

_I am colorblind_

_Coffee black and egg white_

_Pull me out from inside_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am ready_

_I am...fine_

_I am.... fine_

_I am fine _

Once I am finished, I wrap my arms around him and whisper, "I love you, Jasper."

His head turns and his blues eyes are glistening as he whispers through trembling breaths, "I didn't know…"

I'm confused by his words and he continues, "I didn't know, Edward…all those years and all those different girls…I didn't know that it was supposed to feel like this, that it could possibly feel like this. I was so closed off and I never felt anything good inside but now…God, Edward…I'm so open…exposed to every feeling and it's so strong and scary cuz it's so overwhelming to me that I can feel this way. Am I making any sense?"

And I smile because it makes perfect sense, "Yes. I know exactly how you feel. I never thought someone could complete me so perfectly but you do. I know we're young and new to these feelings but I have no doubt in my mind that they are real."

Then his lips are brushing mine as he whispers, "I love you too, Edward."

We stand and pull one another close and just hold onto our other half. He is my other half and I am his.

After a few minutes he pulls away and smiles, "It's still early. Wanna go watch a movie?"

I smile back, "Yeah. Halloween's tomorrow, so let's watch some scary movies."

For some odd reason, I loved scary movies. I couldn't watch the ones that dealt with demons like The Exorcist or intense slasher flicks but I loved zombie movies and cheesy 80's horror films.

We both pulled on some pajama pants and t-shirts and made our way downstairs. We went to the kitchen and popped some popcorn, then grabbed a couple of sodas before making our way into the family room. He sat down in the recliner and pulled me onto his lap. I threw a blanket over us and placed the bowl of popcorn on my lap.

He flipped on the TV and I was excited to see an all night horror marathon on. I curled into him and we ate the popcorn as we watched a bunch of fantastic cheesy horror movies, starting with The Lost Boys.

We're laughing through the whole cheesy thing. Jasper smiles, "Corey Haim's kinda cute in this. What do you think?"

I laugh, "That's the first time I've ever heard you talk about another guy. So, you…um…find other guys attractive?"

He smiles, "Yeah, Edward. Don't you?"

And I don't know why but I can feel the blush in my cheeks again as I nod, "Yeah. Corey Haim's not really my type though. I like the big brother better. His hair is wild, he wears a leather jacket, and rides a motorcycle. He's badass."

Jasper smirks at me, "So, you like the bad boys, huh?"

I blush again and say, "I think I do. What type do you like?"

I'm surprised when he has a faint blush in his cheeks, "I think I like the shy, quiet ones. The sweet, reserved, cute ones. So, tell me who your dream guy is?"

I just smile, "You, Jay."

He smiles back and laughs, "I mean, like, actors or musicians."

I think about it for a second and say, "Hmm…uh, Brad Pitt's pretty hot in Thelma and Louise. He's got that cowboy thing going on, and we both know how I feel about cowboys."

He laughs and I continue, "He's hot in Fight Club too. I really like that Ryan Phillippe guy from Cruel Intentions and Matthew McConaughey…oh and Kurt Cobain was hot as hell."

He laughs again, "You have a thing for blondes too, huh?"

I shrug, "I never really thought about it but, yeah, I guess I do. I have a thing for southern accents too. What about you?"

He smiles and his drawl is thicker than normal and I know he's doing it because of what I said, "Well, let's see…I reckon I like that guy who plays Spiderman, he's pretty cute. And I kinda like that guy from the Harry Potter movies…I like the glasses, it's pretty sexy. Um…and that guy from The Notebook, he's real sweet."

Now I laugh, "The Notebook?"

He pretends to be offended, "What? I watched it with your mom when I stayed home from school after I got the crap kicked out of me. That's a really romantic movie."

I smile and lean in to kiss his pouty lips, "You know, no one at school would ever believe how hopelessly romantic you are."

He smiles and wraps his arms back around me, "Well, good. Cuz this side of me is for you and you only. I didn't even know I was romantic until you…hell, I never had a reason to be before I met you. You do very strange things to me, Edward."

I kiss him softly again and rest my head on his shoulder. He says, "So, when I get my motorcycle done, are ya gonna let me take you for a ride?"

I look up at him and smile, "I'd let you take me anywhere, Jasper. The motorcycle's a bonus but I would gladly go with you anywhere."

My phone rings and I reach over and grab it, "Hey dad."

"Hey son. What are you boys doing tonight?"

My face turns red and I say, "Um…nothing really. We're watching some scary movies on TV. How is Aunt Celia?"

He sighs, "About the same. We should be home sometime Monday afternoon. Are you boys still going to that Halloween party tomorrow?"

"Um…yeah, I think so. I'll call Bella and see if we can ride with her."

"Okay, son. Well, you boys don't stay up all night and I want you home by 11pm tomorrow night. I'll call you tomorrow. Love you, son."

"Okay, dad. Love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

I close my phone and set it back on the end table. I lay my head back on Jasper's shoulder as we continue watching movies and talking. Eventually, I see his eyelids begin to drift closed so I lean in and kiss his sweet lips and whisper, "Thank you for the perfect first date, Jasper."

His lips turn up into a lazy grin and he whispers, "It's the first of many, Edward. Love you, darlin."

I smile and close my eyes as I drift off to sleep, "Love you too, babe."


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys, the ankle's almost completely healed so thanks for the well wishes! Thanks so much for the reviews too ;) Anyway, if ya'll are interested in a good E/J vamp/human fic, check out Ignis et Glacies by rmhale!**

**Jasper's POV**

I fell asleep in that comfy recliner with my beautiful boy in my lap. I dreamt of honey…

_God, Edward can be pretty damn kinky sometimes…I'm going to really enjoy exploring that side of him._

The next morning I woke up and groaned at the feeling of Edward's ass pressed into my mornin wood. He shifted in his sleep with a soft sigh and I tried to pull myself away from him. His sleepy eyes open and he smiles a sweet grin, "Good morning, babe."

I smile back, "Mornin darlin."

We get up and go brush our teeth before making breakfast together. Once breakfast was done we went out and cleaned up the backyard and unstrung the lights from the gazebo. We talked and played around for awhile outside.

Eventually, Edward called Bella to see if we could ride with them to the party tonight. I wasn't actually thrilled about riding with Chief Swan but our options were low. The rest of the day was pretty relaxing. We played some video games and listened to music.

We were lying on his bed listening to the radio and talking. We had to start getting ready for the party soon. I looked over at Edward and asked, "Hey Eddie? Would you care if I danced with a girl tonight?" I really liked to dance but didn't want to make him mad.

He furrows his brows for a moment and then sighs, "No, I don't care. I mean, I guess I know you're not really attracted to them so it's not a big deal. Just…don't let them think they have a chance with you, Jay, because we don't need any more psycho chicks in our lives."

I have to laugh at that, "Agreed. I'll dance with someone safe like Bella or Angela. It fuckin sucks that we gotta ride with Chief Swan though. I can't wait till we can drive."

He sat up on his elbow and looked over at me, "What's your deal with cops? I've noticed that you don't like them."

I sighed, "Chief Swan's alright…it's just…well, most of my experiences with cops haven't been good."

He laughed, "It can't be that bad. It's not like you've ever been arrested or anything…"

_Shit…_

"Uh…actually, Edward, I have been arrested…twice actually."

He furrowed his brows, "What? How? I mean, we met when you were thirteen…"

I sighed and closed my eyes as I laid there, "I was 11 the first time. I only spent the weekend in Juvenile that time. I was 12 the second time and spent 6 months in boys school. I had only actually been out a month when I met you."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" He sounded hurt and I immediately regretted that I hadn't told him sooner.

"I'm sorry, Edward. It's just not something I'm proud of and I've been tryin really hard to not be that guy anymore. I should've told you…I guess, I just wasn't sure how you'd react."

He sighed and grabbed my hand and squeezed it softly, "What did you do?"

I groaned internally and then sighed again, "The first time…I…fuck, I took a knife to school and threatened a kid that had me jumped."

He gasped, "Did you…did you hurt him?"

I shook my head, "No…a buddy of mine ratted me out to a teacher and they found it in my desk."

_Well there you go, Eddie…I'm far from fuckin Superman…_

Then he said softly, "But…you _would _have hurt him…if…"

I looked over in his pretty green eyes and wished I could just fuckin undo all the stupid shit I've done, "Yeah, Edward…if they hadn't found it, there's no doubt in my mind that at that time in my life, I woulda used it."

He was quiet for a minute and then quietly asked, "What about the second time?"

I sat up and pulled my knees up to my chin and rested my forehead on it, "The second time…shit, Edward, I needed money real bad and my mama's boyfriend of the moment would split the profit with me if I took his shit to school and sold it. So, before and after school, I'd go over to the middle school and I sold drugs…pot mostly, but sometimes X and occasionally coke to the high school kids."

He ran his hand through his hair and let out a breath he'd been holding, "What happened? How were you caught?"

I got up and went over to the windowsill and opened it as I sat down. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. I took a long drag and exhaled blowing the smoke out the window. Then I shut my eyes, "There was this kid…Bobby Harris…he kept trying to get me to sell to him but I wouldn't. He was a good kid, kinda geeky and quiet, he came from a pretty bad home. I just couldn't sell to him…I don't know why but what little conscience I had back then just wouldn't let me do it. So, he stole my backpack that had all my shit in it. They found him in the bathroom with my backpack. He had taken the coke I had in it that day for one of the high school kids I dealt with. But he didn't know what he was doing and he did too much. I was really lucky that he didn't die…but he was severely fucked up after that. His brain was badly damaged and his nervous system got all fucked up. So, I got locked up for 6 months and when I was released, my mama had a new guy and we moved here."

I didn't wanna face him…I didn't wanna see if the way he looked at me was different now.

Then I felt his arms slip around my neck as he pulled me into a hug. I let out the breath I had been holding and threw my cigarette out so I could wrap my arms around his waist. We held onto each for a long time but he eventually pulled away and his eyes were glistening, "You have to promise me, Jay…promise you won't ever do anything so careless and stupid again. Promise me that you won't do anything that will get you taken away from me. Promise me."

"I promise, Edward. I'm really sorry, man," I barely whispered.

He sighed and then smiled softly, "It's in the past now, Jasper. You were just a kid…God, I hate your damn mother for all the shit she put you through."

I smiled weakly as I stroked his cheek softly, "I'm trying to let it all go, Eddie. I really am…I'm trying so hard."

He brought his soft lips to mine and kissed me tenderly and lovingly. He whispered, "I love you, Jay. We both have a lot to let go of but we can make it as long as we have each other."

"I know we can, Edward. I love you too, darlin."

We spent the next hour just lyin on his bed and kissing. And when it was time to finally get ready for the party, I felt a little better.

We decided to go as the Blues Brothers, and holy fuck, Edward looks beyond amazing in his black suit. I was a little worried about the party tonight cuz I had heard these rez parties could get pretty wild. I was also wishing I hadn't made that promise to Esme and Carlisle about the drugs and alcohol cuz I was sure there was gonna be both there and I had been itching to have a drink or a hit off a bong or…just something after the fuckin day I had. I hated remembering how fucked up I was.

Finally, twilight settles and Bella calls and says they're on the way to pick us up. I laugh when we hop in the back seat and see Bella dressed in bell bottoms, a tie dye shirt, and a sunflower painted on her cheek.

Edward laughs, "Hey there hippy chick!"

She smiles at us, "You guys look fantastic! You'll be beating the girls off you with a stick tonight!"

We say hello to Chief Swan and he greets us back, not so enthusiastically.

He finally drops us off at First Beach and tells us to behave. There's a huge bonfire going and a few kegs. There's a ton of people there. It looks like the whole damn school is present and accounted for and half of them are already fucked up. I notice that there's quite a few people here that look like they're not in high school anymore too.

Jacob comes running up and swoops Bella up into his arms and she starts giggling. He's dressed as a biker and shit, he looks good. I notice the guy standing next to him and have to laugh cuz he's dressed like Harry Potter. Jacob sets Bella down and says, "Hey guys. This is my cousin, Brady."

Brady smiles shyly and takes a step forward but then he trips over absolutely nothing and instinctively, I reached out and grabbed him. His face was bright red and his glasses fell down on the tip of his nose. I help him back to his feet and laugh, "Shit, man…you need to lay off the sauce."

He looks confused and Jacob rolls his eyes, "He's talking about alcohol, Brady."

The poor kid turns even redder and says, "Oh…I don't drink. I'm just really clumsy."

I smile, "Well, I'm Jasper…this is Edward."

He smiles, "I know who you are…I mean, everybody knows who you are."

"Do you go to our school? I don't think I've seen you around."

He shakes his head and pushes his glasses back up, "Um…no, I go to school on the reservation. My parents won't let me go there because they think there's too many bad influences."

I laugh, "But they let you come to a wild ass rez party?"

He bites his lip and smiles, "No…they don't know I'm here. I'm staying the weekend with Uncle Billy and Jake."

I smile, "Rebel."

And he laughs. Edward clears his throat and I turn to look at him and he's got a slight scowl on his pretty face. So I smile at him, "Wanna go find Angela and Ben?"

He nods, "Yeah…we should go, um, mingle."

I turn back to Brady, Jacob, and Bella, "Well, we'll see you guys later. We're gonna go see what kinda trouble we can get into."

We walk around for a little while and eventually find Angela and Ben. Edward seems to be in a better mood when he starts talking to Angela.

The sky has finally turned black and the party is in full force. Edward goes off with Bella and Angela and we agree to meet up later, so I sit down on a log by the fire and smoke a cigarette.

There's a few guys there and they're passing around a joint. I sigh when it comes to me and I pass it up…grumpily.

As I'm sitting there sulking, a big guy that I recognize from school plops down next to me and hands me a beer. I have an inner battle and decide that just one beer won't hurt. I take it and say, "Thanks, man."

He smiles a big dimpled grin, "No problem, man. You're Jasper Whitlock, right?"

I nod, "Yeah."

He holds out his fist for me to bump, "I'm Emmett McCarty."

I bump it and take a long draw off my beer and it tastes real fuckin good. I look over at him and say, "You play football, right?"

He nods and downs his beer. Then he belches really loud and laughs. Then I can't help but laugh. He starts talking to me about school and his girlfriend and well, just everything. He tries to convince me to join the football team cuz he says I'm one of those guys that takes a lickin and keeps on tickin. Apparently, he was there the day I got jumped and he saw me stand up to those fuckers and get a good punch in before they got me down.

I've seen Emmett around school. He's a junior and captain of the Varsity football team. He seems like a pretty cool guy but I'm kinda surprised he's talking to a freshman, even if it is me.

Then a pretty blonde walks up and I assume it's his girlfriend cuz she hands him a beer and he smacks her ass and says, "Thanks, doll."

Then he turns to me and slurs out, "Hey man, this is the old ball and chain, Rosalie. She's pretty."

And I laugh as she smirks and folds her arms across her chest, "We've been dating for two weeks and he already calls me his old ball and chain!" Then she smiles at me, "Hey, you're Jasper, right?"

I nod, "Yeah…nice to meet you."

She sits down and hands me a beer and I decide…well, just two beers won't hurt.

She sighs, "Ugh…you dated that bitch Maria. I hate that skank!"

I shake my head and laugh, "Yeah…but that was awhile back and I'm done dating girls like that…" or girls at all for that matter.

Then Angela stumbles up to me and she has clearly been drinking too. She grabs my hand and smiles, "Dance with me, Jay! Please! Ben doesn't dance!"

I smile and let her pull me up, "Okay, darlin, I'll dance with ya." I down the rest of my beer and throw it in the trash can as she leads me out to the beach where the music is blaring.

We dance to a couple of songs and I'm feeling a nice little buzz. A slow song comes on and I pull her close. I look over her shoulder and try to find Edward but I don't see him anywhere so I ask, "Hey Ange? Where's Edward?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. Some guy started talking to him after Bella left and then Ben came and got me."

_Some guy?_

"What guy?" I'm hoping I don't sound too suspicious but I wanna know who's talkin to my boyfriend.

She shrugs again, "I don't know…he was an older guy…really good looking too. I think his name was James but I'm pretty sure he's not in high school anymore."

I pull away now, concerned about who the fuck my boyfriend is hangin out with, "Um…I'm gonna go find him. We'll dance more later, okay?"

She smiled, "Okay, Jay. Thanks for the dance."

I nod and take off to find him. I ask around if anyone has seen him and finally get pointed in the right direction.

I spot him leaning against a rock with this guy standing next to him. I grit my teeth at the scene. This guy is wearing a pair of torn up blue jeans and a leather jacket, no shirt. He's smoking a joint and he's got his long, blonde hair pulled back and they're both laughing. Edward has a beer in his hand and my heart fuckin stops when I see this asshole pass the joint to Edward and he takes it!

_What. The. Fuck!_

I walk over to them and Edward doesn't even see me as he's so wrapped up in Mr. I Think I'm So Fucking Cool But Really I'm A Fucking Douche bag!

I clear my throat and Edward turns his head and smiles, "Oh, hey Jay."

I narrow my eyes at his new buddy and say, "Hey Edward. Ya gonna introduce me to your new friend?"

He laughs, "Oh…um, Jay this James. James, this is my best friend, Jasper."

_Best friend my ass! BOYFRIEND!_

The fucker smirks at me like he knows what's going on in my head and says, "Jasper? As in Whitlock?"

I nod, "Yeah. How do you know my name cuz I sure as fuck don't know who you are?"

I'm aware that I'm being extremely rude but all my instincts kick in and tell me that this is a bad guy.

He laughs, "You look just like your mom. I was a friend of hers before she split town. I didn't know you were still here though."

Then it clicks…this is the same James that was my mom's supply guy. The fucker is a drug dealer and he's trying to get all chummy with my Edward!

I'm practically dripping venom at this point, "Oh, I know who you are now. You were my mom's drug dealer, right?"

He smiles like the fuckin douche bag he is, "I used to deal…I gave it up a few months ago. I work at a club in Seattle now."

He hands the joint back to Edward and before he puts it to his lips I frown at him, "What the fuck are you doing, Edward? You don't smoke."

He shrugs and takes a hit. Then he coughs and laughs, "It's a party, Jay. Lighten up. Besides, I saw you drinking earlier."

James laughs and I'm seething as he takes the joint and says, "Yeah, Jay…lighten up. Want a hit?"

I narrow my eyes and ask, "How fuckin old are you?"

He smiles and I can see the evil behind it, "19."

I'm practically snarling at this point, "And why would a 19 year old wanna hang out with a 15 year old? You do know he's 15, right?"

He's on to me cuz I can read his sick fuckin face like a book, "Yeah, he told me…" then he turns to Edward and smiles, "But he seems pretty mature for his age."

I look at Edward and he's fuckin blushing!

Then the asshole says, "Besides, weren't you hanging out with McCarty earlier? He's gonna be 18 in a few months so I don't see what the difference is."

Just then, Emmett comes running up, "Hey, Jasper! A bunch of us are gonna play some football and we need another guy. You in?"

I nod, "Sure, man." Then I turn to Edward and say, "C'mon, Edward…let's go play some ball."

He shakes his head, "That's your thing, not mine…besides, they only need one more person. I'm good here, Jay so go ahead."

And I don't wanna make a scene but it's taking every ounce of control I have to not drag him away by his fuckin arm and knock James' teeth down his god damn throat.

James smirks at me again before turning to Edward, "Hey, you wanna go see my bike? You said you liked motorcycles, right?"

Edward smiles, "Sure. I'll see you later, Jay. Have fun."

And then they just walk right past me. And I don't know what to do. Is Edward really that fuckin naïve to not know that this is a bad guy? Then it dawns on me that Edward may be really book smart but he's not at all street smart. I can just take one look at the guy and know he's bad…

_He likes bad boys…fuck._

"Earth to Jasper…"

I come back to reality and see Emmett waving his hand in front of me, "Dude! You comin or what?"

I nod and follow him to a bunch of guys waiting on us. I take off everything but my pants cuz I can't play football in a suit and tie. And I'm ready to play cuz I really feel like hitting something right now.

We play for awhile and I am throwing every guy that gets near me to the fuckin ground with a vengeance and Emmett laughs, "Man, you gotta try out for football! You hit like a fuckin tank!"

Finally, we're all sweating and worn out so we call it a game and head back over by the fire. I scan around to see if I can see Edward and I finally see him standing next to fuckboys bike with him, a redhead, and a guy with dreads. They're all laughing and dreadhead hands him another beer.

I'm seeing fuckin red.

And as I'm sure I'm about to lose it and go knock the fucker out, Brady walks up with a beer, "Hey Jasper."

I turn my attention to the cute guy in front of me and smirk, "I thought you didn't drink."

His cheeks turn red and he looks down at the ground, "Um…I actually brought this for you. It's just that I saw you guys playing football and you looked really hot…" Then his eyes go wide and his breathing hitches, "I mean…all of you guys were sweating and stuff and…"

I smile and take the beer, "Thanks, Brady. It's alright, man…I know I'm really hot. That was real nice of ya."

He laughs and I take a long pull from my beer.

"So, where's Jake at?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. He ditched me to hang out with Bella. Can't say that I blame him."

I raise an eyebrow, "So, where's your girlfriend?"

He looks down at the ground and shoves his hands in his pocket, "I don't have one. Well, I don't want to, like, cramp your style or anything so I'll see you later."

He turns to walk away and I just so happen to glance up and see Edward hand his phone to James. I watch him type something in and hand it back to Edward.

_He got his fuckin phone number…oh hell no!_

"Hey Brady! Wait up, man," I run over to him and smile, "Why do you think you'd cramp my style?"

He sighs, "I know I'm kind of a dork, Jasper…"

I smile and put my hand on his shoulder, "I don't think you're a dork…you seem pretty cool to me."

His face lights up, "You think I'm cool?"

I nod and take another pull from my beer and see Edward staring at me with a confused look on his face.

I pull out my phone and hand it to him, "Here, man…give me your number and maybe we can hang out sometime."

He smiles and takes the phone, "Really? That would be so cool!" He types his number in and hands it back to me and I look back at Edward who's glaring at me now. I smile and tip my beer to him before I finish it off and throw it in the trash can.

And by this time, I'm well on my way to getting fucked up so I decide, fuck it. I walk over to the logs by the bonfire and sit down as Brady now follows me.

_Shit…I hope he doesn't follow me around all night._

A bunch of people are smoking and this time I hit it when it comes my way. And it's familiar and tingly and everything feels better. I hand it off to the next guy and once I'm done coughing I say, "Ya know, ya'll really should roll blunts with this many people smoking."

Sam looks over at me, "I don't know how to roll a blunt, do you?"

I've met Sam a few times at Jacob's house and he's a bit older but he's a pretty decent guy. I nod, "Yep, anyone got a cigar?"

No one does and Sam says, "I'll go buy some. What kind do I need?"

And it's like second nature to me, "Garci Vega Greenleaf is my personal favorite."

He shakes his head and stands up, "Dude, come with me, I'll never remember that."

So I get up and follow him to his car. We go and get the blunts and when we come back, I look around for Edward and spot him and James talking to Bella over by the bonfire. His eyes are completely bloodshot and he's swaying as he laughs.

Sam and I make our way back and I quickly roll a couple of blunts and everyone starts smoking.

After awhile, I'm completely twisted. I pulled on my white button up shirt but left it unbuttoned and left the tie undone. Then I put my hat back on and lay back against a log and smoke a cigarette.

I look over at Edward and he looks at me but quickly looks away. He's pissed but I'm pissed too.

_Why won't he just come over and fuckin talk to me?_

And here comes the depression…

_Edward's been hangin out with that fucker all night…he's barely even acknowledging my existence…I want my fuckin boyfriend back…am I losing him to the fuckboy in leather?_

I hear someone attempting to play the guitar and look over to see Paul tryin his best to play something and I can't help but laugh cuz he fuckin sucks.

I reach over and grab the guitar, "Dude, you should be shot for makin this guitar sound that bad. Let me show you how it should sound…"

No one at school knows that I play so all heads are turned to me, except for Edward.

Edward loves Nirvana and the only attention I want is his. So I start playing "Polly."

And by the time I start the chorus, he's lookin at me. My eyes don't leave his as I sing, "Let me clip, Dirty wings, Let me take a ride, Cut yourself, Want some help, Help myself…"

When I finish, he's sitting down on a log staring at me and James is standing behind him, arms folded and scowling at me.

_That's right, fucker…_

I smirk and immediately go into "Something In The Way."

My eyes don't leave Edward's as I sing in the most fuckin velvet voice I can muster, "There's something in the way…mmm…mmm…something in the way, yeah…mmm…mmm"

Then just to make sure I've got Edward's attention, I sing "When The Lights Go Out" by The Black Keys and I hope to God he's remembering the first night we touched each other.

"You can be oh so mean, I just can't see, no in between, you know what the sun's all about when the lights go out"

When I'm done, I faintly hear everyone around me, going on about how good I was…but all I'm paying attention to is Edward. His pretty green eyes are hooded and bloodshot and he looks really sad…

_Good…he should feel bad…_

Bella comes up and bends down to talk to me, "Um…my dad is here, are you coming?"

_I am entirely too fucked up to go home with the Chief of police…and so is Edward…_

I look around and see Emmett so I tell Bella we'll get a ride from someone. I walk over to him, "Hey man, are you drunk?"

He laughs, "Naw dude, I haven't drank the last few hours."

"Would you mind givin me and Edward a ride home? We came here with Bella and I'm too fucked up to ride home with a cop."

His laughter booms, "Sure, man…I don't blame you. Let me grab my woman and we'll go."

"Thanks, Em."

I walk over to Edward and James is sitting next to him. I sigh cuz I'm fuckin sick of this shit, "You ready to go, Edward? We're getting a ride with Emmett."

He nods and stands up but stumbles as James catches him. And I'm fuckin done. I shove his hands off of my god damn boyfriend and I put my arm around his waist to help him walk cuz he ain't doin so good on his own. Then I look at James and I'm hoping that the look in my eyes will cause the fucker to burst into flames, "I got this, boy, so you can run along home now."

He smirks, "Did you say, 'boy?'"

I practically growl at the asshole, "You fuckin heard me, _boy_."

He rolls his eyes and smiles at Edward, "So, Edward, call me sometime and I'll teach you how to ride…just like we talked about. Have a good night."

The Brady comes running up to me, "Hey Jasper, it was really nice to meet you. I hope you call me like you said, so we can hang out."

I sigh, "Yeah, man. We'll do that. Later."

Edward groans and can barely stand.

I help him to Emmett's car and in the back seat. Em's rattling off about wanting me to join the damn football team all the way home. Finally, we get there and I tell him thanks and I'll think about it.

Edward manages to walk in the house by himself and he slams the front door, "What the hell was with you all night?!"

And I'm fuckin livid, "Me?! Have you lost your god damn mind?! You're supposed to my god damn boyfriend but every time I fuckin looked, you were up that fucker's ass!"

He turns and screams back at me, "Well, you didn't seem to mind when you were flirting with that little fucking Brady kid all damn night!"

"I wasn't flirtin with nobody! You were the one laughing and blushin at that cocksuckin bastard's every god damn word!"

He threw his hat on the couch and kicked off his shoes. He ran his hands through his hair then said through clenched teeth, "You started it when you couldn't keep your eyes off that stupid boy. I saw how you looked at him."

And I'm pissed because I didn't even notice the damn boy until after I saw Edward getting all cozy with that fuckin prick.

"Well, I'm gonna god damn finish it too, Edward! You'll call that fucker over my dead body! Do you fuckin understand me?!"

His eyes narrow but he speaks low, "Are you actually trying to forbid me from talking to someone?"

"You're god damned right I am! And another fuckin thing, I don't want you drinking and smoking again! That's not you, Edward! What the hell were you trying to pull?"

He sits down on the couch and places his head in his hands. He sighs and his voice is quiet, "So let me get this straight…I'm not allowed to make new friends, but you can. I'm not allowed to talk to older guys, but you can. I'm not allowed to smoke or drink at a party, but you can. Is there anything else you'd like to add to the list of things I'm not allowed to do but you can?"

_Well…fuck, I kinda sound like an asshole when he puts it that way…_

I sit down in the chair and try to calm myself down, "Edward, James is a bad guy. He's a former fuckin drug dealer for Christ's sake and he's too old to wanna hang out with you. You're not fuckin mature enough to hang out with a guy like that."

Then he lifts his head and he softly says, "You're a former drug dealer too, Jasper. And he told me all about it within the first hour that we spoke as opposed to waiting two years to tell me. And as far as being mature enough goes…I'm mature enough to suck your dick."

_Mother fuck…_

I lean forward and run my hands through my hair, "Edward…I…fuck…"

He gets up and sighs, "When you pull your head out of your ass and decide to treat me like an equal and not like a child, then maybe we'll talk. I'm done tonight."

And he walks upstairs and goes to his room.

_Oh God…I really fucked up…_

My chest is fucking aching cuz I'm treating him like a god damn piece of property and not like the boy I'm in love with. I totally disrespected him…I barked orders at him…shit, I gotta fix this.

I walk up to his room and knock on the door cuz it's locked, "Edward? Can I come in?"

I can hear him crying and it's my fault. He says through broken sobs, "Go away."

And I groan, "Edward, please. I'm sorry, man. Please let me in so we can talk."

"No…I don't want to talk right now…just leave me alone."

I beg and plead through the door for a few more minutes and finally resolve that he's not gonna let me in.

I go to my room and lie on my bed for a little while and try to figure out some way to fix this.

_God I'm so fuckin stupid…why can't I just control the shit that comes out of my god damn mouth…I made him fuckin cry…_

_I gotta fuckin fix this…_

I grab my guitar and throw it on my back as I run down the stairs and out the front door. I run around to the tree by his window and start climbin and prayin to God that my stupid, drunk ass don't fall.

His curtains are closed but I settle down on the branch by his window and pull my guitar in my lap.

_Fuck…please don't fall off this fuckin branch…_

I start playing and singing, "Sorry" by Buckcherry.

And by the time I get to the chorus, he pulls the curtain back.

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue _

_I'm sorry bout all the things I said to you_

_And I know I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, _

_and baby the way you make my world go round_

_And I just wanted to say I'm sorry_

He opens the window and my eyes start to glisten from seeing the sadness I put in his eyes.

"Come in here, Jay, before you fall."

He reaches out and helps me climb in the window. I set my guitar down and close the window behind me. He starts to turn away from me but I grab his hand, "Edward, wait."

He turns back around and folds his arms across his chest.

I take a deep breath and my voice is quivering because I'm terrified that he's not gonna forgive me. "Edward…I'm so sorry. I can't even believe the things I said to you and the way I treated you. I fucked up, okay? I know I fucked up but I can't lose you. I just can't, Edward. You're my whole fuckin world. Please…_please _forgive me."

He sighs and whispers, "Never talk to me like that again."

I nod and put my hand on his shoulder, "I swear I'll never treat you like that again, Edward. I love you so much…I just completely lost it when I saw you talkin to that guy."

He looks up at me, "I felt the same way when I saw you with Brady. I mean, he was dressed as god damn Harry Potter for Christ sakes." Then he chuckles a little and I smile, "Yeah, well fuck me if James wasn't Mr. Bad Boy incarnate. Jesus, Edward, did you really like that guy?"

He shakes his head and smiles up at me, "No, he was kind of an arrogant asshole but I was trying to make you jealous. I'm sorry too."

Then I put my hands on his cheeks and whisper, "But I'm an arrogant asshole too."

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close as he wshipers, "Yeah…but you're my arrogant asshole. I love you so much, Jasper…I got a little crazy too. Maybe we should skip parties in the future."

I laugh softly as I wrap my arms around him and pull him tight against me, "Yeah, parties are definitely done after tonight."

We hold each other for a little while and I finally pull away and kiss him.

And all I can think is that I was close to losing these lips forever…and there ain't no way I can ever let that happen.

We kiss for an eternity and when he pulls away, he grabs my guitar and whispers, "Will you sing for me?"

I nod and we walk over to the bed. I pull him back against my chest and lay the guitar in his lap. I nuzzle my nose into his shoulder and kiss it softly before I start singing "Storm" by Lifehouse.

_how long have I been in this storm_

_so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form_

_water's getting harder to tread_

_with these waves crashing over my head _

_i__f I could just see you everything will be alright_

_ if I'd see you the storminess will turn to light_

_ and I will walk on water_

_ and you will catch me if I fall _

_and I will get lost into your eyes _

_and everything will be alright_

I lay the guitar on the ground and lay down, pulling Edward with me. And we spend the rest of the night kissing until we both fall asleep with puffy eyes and puffy lips.

_Thank God, we officially survived our first fight…_


	13. Chapter 13

**Songs : Imaginary by Evanescence, We're In This Together by Nine Inch Nails**

**Edward's POV**

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat…I had to get to the bathroom. Luckily, I managed to get the lid up before I started hacking and throwing up.

_I swear, God…make this stop and I will never drink again…_

_What the hell was I thinking?_

As I prayed to the porcelain god, my mind ran through all the events of the night.

_Harry fucking Potter…are you kidding me? Why did I even get so jealous…now that I think about it, he hadn't talked to the kid any differently than he would anyone else?_

_But that damn voice kept screaming at me…_

_**You're not so sweet and innocent anymore…he's not going to want you…**_

_Is it true? He likes those sweet, quiet boys…sometimes, I'm neither of those things._

_But he taught me how to be someone different…no, he taught me how to act like I was different…I shouldn't be feeling different._

_And James…seriously? What a fucking tool…like I'm not smart enough to figure out that "we had so much in common" because he just waited till I said I liked something and then he agreed. I mean, for fuck sakes, I told him I liked Justin Timberlake and the dumbass said he liked him too. I'm not stupid and I sure as hell don't like Justin Timberlake._

_God, Jay looked so damn sexy singing tonight. His white shirt, unbuttoned showcasing his strong chest, that damn hat over his windblown curls…and he was barefoot, just like the first day I met him. Beautiful._

_And then he had to go and scream orders at me…I bet that's how his dad talked to him._

_It doesn't make it okay though. I'm not the scared, weak, geeky kid I used to be. I'm stronger now…and I won't let anyone treat me like that. _

_I shouldn't have thrown his past in his face, though, that was wrong of me. He's nothing like James and I should have never compared them. I'm going to have to apologize._

Finally, I leaned back against the tub and just breathed for awhile. I'm pretty sure I'm done throwing up now.

_Damn, I feel like shit._

I pulled myself up and brush my teeth as I stare into the mirror.

_Man, I look like shit too…_

I breathe in deeply and I'm assaulted with the stinging burn of bleach and blood…

And then I saw him…the faceless shadow in the corner of the room…

My heart drops and my breathing accelerates.

I whisper, "I see you."

_I see you too…_

His voice is familiar and cold and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end…

"What do you see?"

_I see a lonely, lost, terrified little boy begging for the pain to go away…_

"I'm not that boy anymore."

_Make no mistake…you will always be that boy._

"Go away."

_Never. _

"Why?"

_I am a part of you, Edward…if you don't want me here, you know what to do…_

"I don't do that anymore."

_That's why I'm here._

"Leave me alone."

_Never._

"I don't want…I can't…Jasper will be mad at me."

_Do it now!_

"No."

_Cut…_

"No."

_Me…_

"No."

_Out!_

And then my hands were moving on their own shakily feeling underneath the sink.

_Just one little cut will make me go away…will make it all feel better…_

I feel around until I feel the old familiar steel blade of the razor…_my salvation…_

"No. Please."

I fall to my knees and my head is screaming at me…

_Cut me out! Do it now!_

"Please, no…wait, do you hear that?"

The rain. I could hear it beating down against the roof.

_The rain beating against the trunk and creeping in to cleanse me as the angels cry…I need to get back there…I still have a chance…_

I drop the razor and run as fast as my legs can go. I'm faintly aware of the shadows that chase along behind me as they giggle and laugh.

But I know that if I can just run fast enough and feel the rain against my skin…I can ask God to save me and maybe this time, he will.

Down the stairs and through the front door…

I fall to my knees as the stinging rain cleanses me. I pull my knees to my chest and try again.

_Please God…please don't let him hurt me…_

The smell of bleach and blood and mud is thick around me and I gag on the whispers that fall from my lips…

"Please save me…I don't want to go to Hell…take it all away…please, God…please don't let him hurt me…"

"Edward!"

This voice is different. It's strong and melodious and beautiful.

I turn my head and there's my angel with his perfect, clear, sky blue eyes and halo of golden curls…lightening flashes and I can see his perfect white wings stretched out behind him as he is completely illuminated.

_He's here…my angel._

He wraps his wings around me and I feel safe and warm…the smell of honey permeates the air, drowning out the stink of bleach and blood and mud…

He pulls me in his lap and rocks me gently like my mother used to do…the difference is, I was never safe with her. In my angel's arms, I am overflowing with happiness and peace and comfort.

_Everything's okay now…_

But I can feel him trembling beneath me and his quivering lips against my forehead as he whispers, "You're okay, darlin…you're safe. Everything's gonna be okay."

And I look up and smile brilliantly as I stroke his perfect cheek, "I know, angel. You got here in time. He didn't break me yet…you saved me."

He's crying horribly and I don't understand, "Don't cry, angel. There's no reason to ever cry again…he can't hurt me anymore."

_You're making him cry…my beautiful angel…my beautiful Jasper…Jasper…shit…_

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose trying to calm the voices inside my head and send them away.

_Oh God…what did I do now…_

He's holding onto me so tight I can barely move and he's sobbing, "Please, Edward…please stop…please be okay…please just stop…"

_You're hurting him…stop…_

Everything begins to slowly fade away…the laughter…the strong familiar smells…the wings and the faceless shadows…they're all gone.

I reach up and take his angelic face in my hands, "Jasper, I'm so sorry. I'm okay now. We need to get out of the rain."

His blue, shimmering eyes search mine as if he's looking for something. He whispers, "Edward?"

I nod, "Yeah, Jay. I'm okay."

Then his trembling lips are against mine and I close my eyes and lose myself to the taste of salty tears and sticky honey.

After an eternity, he pulls away and helps me to my feet. We run into the house, both dripping wet and shivering.

He pulls me upstairs to my room and quickly pulls my shirt over my head and helps me out of my pants. I watch as he strips down, still shivering. He pulls me into the bathroom and turns on the hot water to fill the tub.

Then he grabs a towel and runs it through my hair and dries off my face. He steps into the tub and pulls me against his chest. He runs his fingers through my hair and I close my eyes and listen to the strong beat of his heart.

Eventually, he whispers, "What happened, Edward?"

I sigh, "Nothing, Jay. It's not a big deal."

He tilts my chin up to look at him and his eyes are still puffy and bloodshot, "Edward…some things _are _a big deal. No more lies. I want the truth…_please_."

I shake my head and pull away, bringing my knees up to my chin and resting my forehead on it, "No."

He sighs, "I'm telling your dad as soon as he gets home."

I bring my eyes up and I'm mad, "No! You promised!"

He looks down and whispers, "I know I did, Edward but I can't just keep pretending that nothing's goin on. You're scaring the shit out of me. You need help, babe. Please, I'm fuckin begging you, Edward…for me, darlin, please, let's talk to Carlisle."

I can't help the tears that start to fall from my eyes, "No, Jay…they'll lock me away…they'll take you away from me. I'm not crazy…I'm just having a hard time right now."

_Lie._

He wraps his strong arms around me and kisses my shoulder, "I know you're not crazy, Edward but something is goin on and if we don't face it now…it's only gonna get worse. If we deal with it now, you're probably just looking at taking some medicine and maybe counseling or something…but if we wait, Edward…something really bad could happen. Do you trust me?"

I nod and whisper through broken sobs, "Yes."

He lifts my chin to look at him again, "Then trust me on this. They're not gonna lock you away somewhere."

I barely manage a strangled whisper, "You're going to break up with me…"

He furrows his brows and whispers, "Edward, you know me better than that. I told you once and I'll tell you again…I don't run and I don't hide. Whatever's goin on, we'll face it together, head on. I'm not goin anywhere, babe. We're in this together, Edward. And I think that when we're together, we're a fuckin force to be reckoned with. I got a theory, darlin."

I sniffle and whisper, "What theory?"

He pulls me around so that I'm facing him, my legs over his thighs as his are stretched out behind me. He pulls me close and brushes his beautiful rough fingertips across my cheek, "You told me once that these demons are always chasing you, right?"

I nod and he continues, "Well, they can't chase you if you stop running. You gotta be tired of running and getting nowhere, Edward. Our love and our bond is unbreakable and unstoppable. Let me stand by your side and we'll face them together."

I put my hands on the back of his neck and bring his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and whisper, "You promise you won't leave my side?"

He whispers, "I swear."

I take a deep breath and whisper, "Okay. We'll tell my dad."

He lets out a breath and his lips pucker and graze mine as he whispers, "I love you, Edward."

I whisper back, "I love you too, Jasper."

And we just hold onto each other for hours or days or maybe just minutes…I lose all concept of time when he's holding me.

He eventually whispers, "Come on, babe, let's get outta here and go to bed."

I nod and we stand and grab our towels. Soon, we're dressed and he's still shaking. I lay down in bed and he whispers, "I need a cigarette, Edward."

He goes over and sits on the large windowsill and cracks it open before lighting it up. I get up and go sit on my piano bench and pull my legs up and wrap my arms around them.

He exhales and I watch the white smoke billow slowly out the window and into the darkness.

He sighs and looks over at me, "If you wanna tell me what happened, Edward…I'd like to know but I won't push you."

I look down and take a deep breath.

_Should I tell him? I was upset about him keeping things from his past from me…_

I slowly lift my eyes and I begin to tell him things I never told anyone…not even the doctors.

"I haven't been entirely honest with you, Jay. I told you that I don't remember much about my parents…the truth is, I don't recall their faces but I do remember their eyes…and I remember lots of things that happened before that night."

He staring at me and I continued, "I was never allowed outside. My dad was completely paranoid that I would get kidnapped or something bad would happen to me. He wanted to protect me from the outside world but my home was hell. The only times I was allowed to leave my room was to eat and go to the bathroom. He wouldn't allow me to speak unless spoken too."

I took another breath and started rocking back and forth, "I was so lonely. I used to watch the kids playing outside my window and I wanted that so badly but at the same time, I was made to believe that the outside world was dangerous so I was also terrified. Eventually, my dad found out I was looking outside so he painted my window black. I was trapped in that room with no sunlight, no ties to the outside world, and no one to talk to."

"So, since I wasn't allowed to speak…I just kind of made up people to speak to, imaginary friends, I guess but I never spoke aloud, I kept it all in my head so I wouldn't make my father mad. I created my own world inside my head and tried to live there as much as possible. I'd sit on my bed for hours just lost in my own world. I had no radio, no TV, the only books I had were a Bible and Winnie the Pooh. The times that I wasn't living in the world I created inside my head, I would read. I read that Bible so much that the pages eventually fell out and the words became smudged away. I didn't even really understand what I was reading but it was just another escape for me."

His eyes are glistening and he lights another cigarette.

I take another breath, "For Christmas one year, my mom got me an art kit and one of those little electronic keyboards. I used the art kit to make paper flowers and clouds and animals…I glued them over every surface in my room. I would spend hours making music on that keyboard...using it to speak for me. I was so lonely."

"On the rare occasions that I would make the mistake of speaking at the dinner table, my father would go ballistic and shred my room to pieces…he'd rip everything off the walls and he broke my keyboard. My mother would comfort me as best she could by rocking me back and forth but if my father caught her, she would be punished. So, I'd make more paper flowers and stars and moons…but eventually I ran out of paper. I was stuck there again, alone inside my head."

I begin trembling as my thoughts drift to the night it all ended, "The last night we were together…my mom had told me that she had planned an escape. We'd wait till my father was sleeping and we'd sneak out. She had a small suitcase packed and hidden underneath the sink. But I fucked it all up…"

I can feel the warm tears sliding down my cheeks now as I continue rocking back and forth, "At dinner that night…I knocked my glass of juice off the table and it crashed to the floor. My father was livid about keeping a clean house. He told me to clean it up…he told me to get the bleach out from under the sink. I was too scared to move. He got up and opened the door and saw the suitcase."

I hear the voices screaming in my head again as I take a shaky breath and continue.

"I hid underneath the table as he grabbed my mother. He was screaming and hitting her over and over again. He was convinced that she was possessed by demons…and the only way to get them out…was to cut them out. I watched…as he begin cutting…"

I feel Jasper's arms around me and now, he's rocking me.

"He began just slashing her to pieces trying to free her of the demons…he screamed at me to watch and make sure they left her body. He asked me if I saw them and I shook my head because I didn't see anything but my mother being practically gutted. Her screams were gargled and weak. He pulled me from underneath the table and forced the knife in my hand…then he wrapped his hand around mine and made me release the demons from my mother."

I took another breath, "Once he was convinced that the demons were gone…my mother was dead. He made me get some towels and use the bleach to clean up the kitchen floor. The smell of the bleach and her blood were so thick that I kept throwing up. I was forced to clean while my mother's lifeless body lay on the floor, eyes wide open, staring at me."

"My dad was arguing with someone that wasn't there. The next thing I know, he tells me that if he's going to hell, he's taking us with him. He picked up my mother's body and told me to follow him. And I did because I was so scared. It was thunder storming that night and so cold. He threw my mother in the trunk and then he threw me in."

"I stared into my mother's lifeless green eyes as I heard him screaming about the rain. He was convinced that the angel's were crying because of what he had done. The trunk was rusted and the rain came in but for once, I could look out. I watched the stars and the moon through the small holes and I thought that the angel's tears would cleanse me. I thought that God would save me if I was washed in their tears. I prayed over and over again."

He's crying softly into my neck and trembling behind me.

_It's almost over…_

"We drove for a long time and eventually, I see the clear blue sky and the golden sun for the first time in years. I'm convinced that my pleas have worked and when that trunk opens up, I'm going to be saved. But when it opens, my father was standing over me, wild eyed and crazy. He pulls me from the trunk and just starts hitting me over and over…he's crying and whispering that he can't release the demons from me because he loves me too much. I was already in so much pain…and suddenly, he just stops. He pulls me in his arms and whispers of his love for me and that he's going to show me how much he truly loves me. He's happy now and practically giddy with laughter. His hands are everywhere and his breath stinks of whiskey as he tells me he loves me while causing me more pain than I had ever known. My whole body was just…burning. It felt like I was on fire from the inside out and I was certain that it was the demons bringing hells fire within me."

"Eventually, I passed out. When I came to…there was a beautiful man holding me in his arms…his hair was golden like the sun and his eyes were blue like the sky. He had wings and he wrapped them around me and suddenly I was so warm. Later, I realized the truth…that man had been a hunter in the forest that day. He killed my father and what I thought were wings, was really just his coat. But it felt so real…I not only saw it but I felt it."

Jasper's arms were strong around me and his honey breath washed over me, "Are you seeing things now, Edward? Are you hearing things?"

I sigh, "Yes…I can see them, hear them, feel them…hell, I can even smell them. I know it's not real but when it's happening, it's just too real and I can't help but believe it. I had always heard voices in my head because I put them there but after that night…they were no longer the voices of my friends and I was no longer in control of my world. The first time I saw the shadows, I was 11 and it was after a particularly bad day at school. That's when I started cutting…I guess I was trying to release the demons because my dad never did. The first time I smelled the mixture of bleach and blood, I was 12."

He hold me even tighter and whispers, "Do you…do you think that I am an angel when you're having one of these…um…"

And for some reason, I start laughing, completely aware that's it's inappropriate but unable to control it, "Delusions…hallucinations…you can say it, Jasper. And to answer your question, yes. I see your eyes as blue as the sky…your halo of golden curls…and even your perfect white wings. Tonight, when you found me, I know that you wrapped your arms around me but what I saw and what I felt was your soft, white wings wrapping around me. God, I'm fucking crazy. They're going to lock me up and throw away the damn key."

And I just can't control the hysterical laughter from taking me over.

He looks at me with concerned eyes, "Why are you laughing?"

I just shake my head as I try to make the laughter subside, "I am so fucked."

He takes my face in his hands and once again he's searching my eyes for something. Finally, I stop laughing and wipe the tears from my eyes. I smile, "Let me guess…my eyes are wild and bright right now."

He sighs, "You're not your father, Edward…"

I laugh, "No. I am my father's son. I read that damn bible over and over and you know what I remember?"

He whispers, "What?"

I sigh, "Deuteronomy 5:9 'I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers."

He furrows his brow, "You think you're being punished for what you father did?"

I shake my head, "I don't know what I believe anymore, Jasper. I'm just…"

And then, I'm just completely drained, "I'm just really tired, Jay. Can we just go to bed for tonight?"

He sighs and says, "Yeah, Edward. C'mon."

He grabs my hand and we go over to the bed and crawl in. He pulls me to his chest and runs his fingers through my hair. It doesn't take long before I hear his soft snores but even though I'm exhausted, I just can't sleep.

Eventually, I watch as the sun rises in and the darkness disappears. I finally close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

I wake up to the sound of Jasper talking. I open my sleepy eyes and he's still lying in bed with me with his phone to his ear. He signals the 'shh' sign to me as he talks.

"Yeah, Carlisle, everything's fine here. We'll see you tomorrow then. Bye."

He flips the phone shut and lays it on the night stand. He pulls me close and whispers, "Mornin, darlin."

I suddenly feel very embarrassed as the memories of last night come barreling full force into my mind, "Um…good morning, Jay."

He smiles a soft smile, "How ya feelin, Edward?"

I sigh, "Okay, I guess…kind of embarrassed."

He tilts my chin up to look at him and whispers, "We've been through too much together for you to be embarrassed in front of me. Please don't ever feel that way."

He smiles and leans down to kiss my lips. When he pulls away, I finally smile back, "Thanks, Jay."

He wraps his arms around me and sighs, "For what, babe?"

I hold him close and bury my nose in his neck, breathing him in, "For never making me feel like a freak. For sticking by me when most people would be running. For being you, Jasper."

He kisses my shoulder and whispers, "I love you, darlin."

I whisper, "I love you too."

We get up and go to brush our teeth when Jasper sees the razor blade on the ground that I dropped last night. He picks it up and sighs but doesn't say anything. He takes it downstairs and throws it in the trash, then takes the trash out to the curb.

When he comes back in, I'm sitting at the kitchen table and I mutter, "I'm sorry."

He smiles at me, "Hey, you didn't use it, Edward…I'm real proud of you for dropping it."

We forgo making breakfast this morning and opt for cereal instead. Once breakfast is finished, Jasper decides to do our laundry because he said it reeked like pot and beer.

I'm sitting on the dryer watching him pour the detergent in, I've never done laundry before and watching him be so domestic is really pretty damn hot.

He smiles over at me, "What?"

I shrug and can't help the smile on my face, "It's kind of hot watching you do laundry."

He laughs and raises an eyebrow, "Oh yeah?"

I nod and he gets a wicked grin on his face as he closes the lid and starts the washer. He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me over to sit on top of the washer. He's standing in-between my legs and lifts them up to wrap around him. His arms are wrapped around my waist and mine go around his neck and my fingers wrap in his honey curls.

His lips crash into mine with a ferocity and his tongue delves deeply into my mouth causing me to moan into his. This kiss is deep and wild and fierce. I can feel him growing harder as he rubs up against me. A moment later, he lifts me up and carries me to the kitchen island. He sets me down and breaks away from the kiss and his eyes are sparkling and hooded with lust.

I smile and whisper breathlessly, "Jesus, you're fucking strong, Jasper."

He smiles and goes to the fridge, "I'm a man on a mission, Edward."

I laugh, "And what mission is that, Jay?"

He opens the fridge and pulls out the chocolate syrup. He walks over and he's wearing that wicked, sexy grin again as he raises and eyebrow and sternly says, "Lose the clothes, pretty boy."

And his words go straight to my cock as I fumble because I can't seem to get my damn clothes off fast enough.

I finally throw the last of those damn cock blocking clothes to the ground and shiver a little from the feeling of the cold counter under my ass.

_My poor mother would kill me if she knew what I was doing on her kitchen counter._

He pulls his Ipod from his pocket and quickly docks it into the docking station by the sink. My mom likes to listen to music as she cooks.

He smiles, "This is our song, Edward."

I smile back, "We have a song?"

He nods, "Yep. 'We're In This Together Now' by Nine Inch Nails."

I laugh, "That's quite perfect, actually."

He nods again and picks up the bottle of syrup and flips the top open.

He drizzles some syrup on the crook of my neck and I tremble from the combination of it's chilliness and anticipation for what's to come. His hot tongue laps up the syrup with a soft groan. He sucks and nips and licks my neck and shoulders before trailing down.

He wshipers, "Lay back some, darlin."

I lean back on the countertop with my elbows and he drizzles the cold, sticky chocolate around my nipples before continuing his heavenly torture with that perfect hot, wet tongue and soft, plump lips.

I moan and my cock twitches against his chest as he circles my nipple with his tongue before sucking it between those lips. Once he licks me clean, he begins to trail the sticky syrup down the center of my stomach until he reaches the bronze curls below.

I'm moaning and breathing heavily as his hands are on either side of me, holding onto the counter and his eyes are on mine as he licks that hot little tongue of his out. He takes one long lick from the start of my curls and goes all the way up, lapping up the chocolate stream and sucking the sticky, sweetness that has pooled in my belly button.

My body is on fire but it's fanfuckingtastic…

My head lulls back and I moan his name. I feel him smile against my skin and it only causes more goose bumps and trembling.

Then I feel the cold, sticky syrup trailing down my shaft and along the head of my throbbing cock. I moan loudly when he wastes no time and just plunges his scorching mouth down my shaft and hollows his cheeks as he sucks roughly all the way back up.

My head is swaying and the moans are falling from my lips at a staggering rate as he continues these long deep movements, taking my cock all the way down his throat and back.

And God knows, I'm no expert when it comes to blow jobs but it's just not possible for anyone to be better at this than he is. He takes me down his throat again and one of my hands reaches out to his honey curls and run my fingers through them. He moans around my cock and the vibration cause my hips to buck and my hand inadvertently tightens in his hair and pushes him down a little.

I start to apologize but he moans again and it happens again and he moans again…it's like a viscous, wonderful cycle. So I whisper through ragged breaths, "You like that, Jay?"

His head nods just once and his hands reach out to my hips and clench it tightly. He pulls up for a second and looks up at me through long lashes and deep blue eyes. His drawl is thick when he pants out, "Fuck my mouth, Edward…"

And then he plunges back down on my aching cock and I groan loudly, "Oh fuck…"

My hand tightens in his hair and instinct takes over as start bucking up and pushing him down, but still being careful not to be too rough with him.

He's moaning around my cock and I hear the distinct sound of a zipper so I look down and watch as he takes his own impressive cock in his hand and begins pumping himself furiously.

And it's all just too much. I feel my whole body tighten and I grasp his hair even tighter and scream, "Gonna…cum…oh…god…oh…fuck!"

And then I release deep down his throat as he swallows around it and drinks me all in. He quickly raises up and before I can even get to his beautiful cock, he screams, "Mother fuck…god damn…ugh…Edward!"

And he's spilling onto my cock and stomach before he just collapses on top of me. It takes us several minutes to recover and when he finally lifts up, we're both just a complete sticky mess.

He smiles, "Shower?"

I nod, "Yeah and then we need to scrub down the counter."

He laughs and we head to the shower…where we I end up sucking him off this time. The day pretty much continued like that…suck, touch, kiss, grind, moan, cum…not in that particular order.

As we lay in bed that night, exhausted from our lust filled day, I remember something, "Hey Jay?"

"Yeah, babe?"

I look up into his pretty blue eyes, "I need to apologize for comparing your past with James last night. That was pretty low and I hope you know I didn't mean it."

He smiles, "We both said some things we didn't mean, Edward. It's over and forgotten."

I smile, "We did act pretty stupid last night, didn't we?"

He laughs, "We're 15, man! We're gonna do a whole bunch of stupid shit before we make it out of adolescent hell. We just gotta stick together, babe. We'll be just fine."

_I hope you're right, Jay…_

We fall asleep pretty early that night and I'm dreading the conversation with my dad the next day but I know as long as I have Jasper by my side, I can make it through.


	14. Chapter 14

**Songs : Hollywood Undead - Young, The Cranberries - This Is The Day, Kings of Leon - Crawl**

**Jasper's POV**

It doesn't take long for Edward to fall asleep. The boy was insatiable today. I barely had time to recover before he was on me again…not that I minded. In fact, it was a really good day. We seemed to effectively avoid any discussion about last night's events. I never really said anything about it to him cuz quite frankly, what the fuck could I say?

What do you say to someone you love more than life itself when they pour out their pain and suffering like a sieve? You just fuckin absorb as much of it as possible to try and alleviate at least a fraction of their pain. It's not like there's anything I can say that's gonna take that shit away. So I just listened and held him and cried for him.

He has no clue how strong he really is. I mean, if I had to live through what he went through…I know without a fuckin doubt that I would've ended up dead or in prison by now. Just the thought of what he's been through makes me so fuckin angry that I can barely contain myself.

I mean, seriously what the fuck is wrong with people?! Why the fuck do these cock suckin fucktards reproduce if their only gonna fuck us up?! Why the fuck didn't anyone step in and save him?! Surely, someone had to know that he was fuckin trapped inside that god damn hell hole! You mean to tell me that no one saw him in that fuckin window?! Or no one wondered why it was painted black?! What about the fuckin grandparents or uncles or cousins or some god damn body?! Why do people insist on lookin the other fuckin way when it's the life of a child at stake?!

No, fuck that! It's more than the life of a child at stake, everybody's life is on the fuckin line cuz these kids that are just fuckin tossed aside and neglected and abused and fuckin tortured…they grow up! And _then_, society wants to talk about what a monster that person is when they coulda been fuckin saved as a god damn child and never unleashed on society in the first fuckin place!

It's a never ending fuckin cycle and kids just keep fallin through the god damn cracks! And people wonder why kids are goin fuckin crazy nowadays! It's because people aren't raising their god damn kids! We shouldn't have to raise ourselves! He was six fuckin years old for fucks sake! Why the hell wasn't he in school?! Surely someone knew that he existed outside those god damn walls?!

The fuckin "system" that's in place to protect kids is a mother fuckin joke! We just get pushed around and picked apart until we're so god damned fuck up that we go to school and start offin people, _then _they sure as fuck notice us! I've been in the fuckin system on more than one god damn occasion and did anyone give a flyin fuck what happened to me after I was dragged through fuckin hell and back?! Fuck no they didn't! No one fuckin cares until it directly effects them and then they wanna cry and scream about 'where were the parents', well fuck that! Where were the god damn neighbors or teachers or doctors or any fuckin body?! Fuck!

_God damn, I need a fuckin cigarette…_

I slowly slide out from underneath my beautiful boy and go to the window. I open it just a crack and take up residence on the windowsill as I light one up. I inhale deeply and close my eyes as I try to calm myself down cuz I'm beyond worked up right now.

I'm worried about tomorrow but I know it's necessary. He's been holdin this shit in for way too long and it's just slowly eating away at him. I really wish we could just tell Carlisle about us cuz the thought of not bein able to at least hold his fuckin hand when he goes through this shit, makes my fuckin chest ache. But I think that it would just be too much for him right now.

And my only concern right now is helping Edward cuz, yeah I love him like there's no tomorrow but he's also my best fuckin friend and I can't stand to watch him suffer. If I just knew what was wrong with him then I'd feel better about the outcome.

I look over at the computer and throw out my cigarette. I make a mental note to collect the butts outside tomorrow before Carlisle gets home and I go over to the computer and start researching.

**Schizophrenia**

**Symptoms** - Hallucinations, delusions, disorganized speech/thinking, disorganized behavior, catatonic behavior, unusual motor behavior (pacing, rocking), poor memory, social isolation, blank facial expressions or a flat voice

_Okay, well Edward hits some of these but not all of them. _

I continue my research and stumble upon post traumatic stress disorder.

**PTSD**

**Symptoms** - Flashbacks, hallucinations, nightmares, problems relating to others, including feeling or showing affection; difficulty falling or staying asleep; irritability; outbursts of anger; difficulty concentrating; being "jumpy" or easily startled, increased arousal or hyper arousal.

_Well, hell, Edward hits some of these too, but I think he has more of these symptoms than schizophrenia…maybe he was having this hyper arousal today cuz the boy attacked me all day long…again, not that I minded._

I look over at the clock, 2AM. I know I should go to bed but my mind is racing and I'm still pissed as hell and fuckin depressed on top of it. I decide to go down to the garage for a little while and beat the fuck outta the punching bag.

I beat the fucker like it owes me money and finally, I'm exhausted and can barely lift my arms. I sit down on the weight bench and just take in deep breaths until I'm finally calmed down.

I drag myself up to Edward's room and he's still sleeping like a baby. I go to the shower and strip off my clothes before climbing in. I let the hot water just wash over me as I put my hands against the wall and just keep reminding myself to fuckin breathe cuz my mind keeps lingering back to what he told me…

"_I was so lonely."_

"_I was trapped in that room with no sunlight, no ties to the outside world, and no one to talk to."_

"_I just kind of made up people to speak to, imaginary friends, I guess but I never spoke aloud, I kept it all in my head so I wouldn't make my father mad."_

"_I used the art kit to make paper flowers and clouds and animals…"_

"_I was so lonely."_

And my mind is invaded with images of my beautiful bronze haired boy, at five years old sitting in that room all alone…it doesn't take long until my head is on my arm against the wall and I'm crying like a god damn baby.

And all I can keep thinking is 'Why him?' 'Why did this happen to him?' 'Is he ever gonna be able to recover from this?' 'Why?'

Finally, I've cried until I just can't cry anymore. I clean myself up and drag myself into bed.

I put my arms around my everything and pull him close to me. I bury my nose in those bronze locks and breathe him in…and it's calming, peaceful cuz I know that when he's in my arms, he's safe. No one will ever hurt him again as long as I'm fuckin breathin.

I drift off to sleep just as the sun begins to rise.

I wake up to soft kisses on my neck and it makes me smile before I even open my eyes. I whisper, "Mornin darlin."

And I hear, "Good morning, babe."

I open my sleepy eyes and am met with the most beautiful green eyes I have ever known. He smiles that incredible crooked smile, "I made you breakfast in bed, Jay."

I look over and he's brought up a tray with blueberry pancakes, juice, and a single red rose. I smile and sit up, "You're a damn good boyfriend, you know that, Edward?"

He smiles shyly as he brings the tray over and sets it on the bed, "You're damn good too, Jasper."

We eat breakfast and talk a little. Carlisle called and said he'd be here in four hours and Esme was going to stay a few extra days with her sister. So after we eat…we go at it again.

A couple hours later, we still haven't left the bed and we're lying there naked and sweaty and completely satisfied. He raises up on his elbow and looks over at me hesitantly. I mimic his position and say, "What's wrong, Edward?"

He sighs and starts plucking at the bedspread, "Um…I was thinking about something…but I…I'm not sure how you'll feel about it."

I reach out and grab his hip, pulling him closer to me so that our naked bodies are touching again, "What is it, darlin?"

He lays his head on my shoulder and whispers, "I…um…well, I might need you when I tell my dad. I can't imagine going through that again without touching you and I don't know how you'd feel about just telling him about us too."

I let out a sigh of relief and smile, "I think that's a good idea, Edward. In fact, I was thinking about it last night but didn't think you'd wanna do it. This will be good, babe. We can just get it all out and stop hiding."

He smiles, "Really?"

I nod, "Yeah. I don't think it'd be a good idea to come out at school yet but your mom and dad are incredible. I can't imagine that they'd be really pissed or anything about it…shocked, maybe, but pissed, probably not. Besides, the way we're goin, it'd be a whole lot better to just come clean now before they catch us in bed together."

He laughs, "Yeah, you're probably right about that."

We got up and took a quick shower. We got dressed and were lying on his bed kissing when we heard the garage door open. Edward pulled away and his breathing quickly accelerated, "I can't do this, Jay…please don't make me…I just can't…"

I sighed and held his face in my hands, "Breathe, darlin. I know you're scared, Edward but we gotta do this. I swear to you, it's not gonna be nearly as bad as you're thinking. No more secrets, baby. I'll be right by your side, okay."

He's going into panic mode so I pull him close and hold him tight to try and calm his trembling body, "Edward, it's gonna be alright…you're strong enough to face this, babe. I've never known anyone as strong as you are. You can do this. _We _can do this. No more running, darlin."

He pulls away and takes a few deep breaths and then he nods, "Okay."

I smile and whisper, "I love you."

He smiles back and takes one more breath, "I love you too."

Walking through that damn bedroom door was one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. Truth be known, I was fuckin scared as hell but I couldn't let Edward know that. He needed me to be strong so that's exactly what I was gonna be.

We walked downstairs just as Carlisle came in through the garage, "Hey boys."

Edward's head was down and he was holding onto his elbow, still taking deep breaths. Carlisle's smile faltered, "Son, what's wrong?"

I figured I better take the lead, "Um…Carlisle? Edward and I need to talk to you about a few things and…um…they're kinda big."

He looked very concerned as he walked over to us, "Are you boys alright? Did something happen?"

I shake my head, "We're okay. Nothing happened really…well, um…God, this is hard…we should probably sit down."

He sits down on the recliner and I immediately think about falling asleep with Edward on my lap in that recliner. I can't help the smile that comes across my face and when I glance over at Edward, he has a slight blush to his cheeks and he's wearing that crooked grin, so I figure he's thinking about it too.

Edward sat down on one end of the couch and I sat on the other. I look over at him and he looks absolutely petrified. So, I figure it's time for me to man the fuck up and take control, "Carlisle, you and I have a pretty open relationship and you know how I am. You know that I don't beat around the bush or sugar coat stuff so here it is…Edward and I are more than just friends."

Carlisle lets out a breath and nods for me to continue.

So I take another breath and just let it all out, "The thing is…we're not just experimenting or something like that. I love your son more than I ever thought possible. And he loves me. We're good together and I think we bring out the best in each other. I'm sorry for keeping it from you but I just hope you know how difficult this is for us. But you gotta know that I would never do anything to hurt Edward or any of you. You're the only family I have. I swear to you, Carlisle, that I'll always treat your son good and do everything in my power to be good for him."

He looks over at Edward who's bright red and looks like he might pass out cuz his breathing is pretty damn shallow. So, I reach out my hand and he looks at me for a second before gulping and then placing his hand in mine. Almost immediately, he lets out a deep breath and smiles shyly up at me and I can't help but grin back.

Carlisle watches our small interaction and calmly says, "Edward? What do you have to say?"

Edward takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before he just spits out, "I love Jasper more than…well, anything. I need him, dad. My life was so horrible before he took me under his wing and helped me. He gives me confidence and makes me feel strong and unafraid and…loved. I can tell you with the utmost confidence that Jasper has saved me from so much pain and heartache and he's given me my life back. I can't lose him. I won't. I love him."

I look over at Carlisle and he has his head down in his hands. My heart is pounding outta my chest until I see him lift his head and he's wearing a small grin, "I wondered how long it was going to take you two to come clean."

I was shocked, "You mean, you knew?"

He shook his head and laughed softly, "Yeah, I didn't know you were in love but I knew you were…um, more than friends. When you were in the hospital, Edward was beside himself with worry. He wouldn't leave your side for any reason. And I've seen the way you boys interact with each other and it's clearly more…intimate than that of friends."

Then he smirks, "And I also saw Edward throw you out of his bed before I left." Then he looks over at Edward and quirks an eyebrow, "Nice save, by the way, son. Dropped a book, my ass. I would've called you boys out on it then but with everything that was happening, I didn't think it was the right time. I was hoping you would come to me before I had to go to you. I'm proud of you boys. I know this must be very difficult."

And I'm floored. I've never been with someone before and their parents actually like me. So, I'm pretty psyched.

Then he sighs, "This does bring up some things that I need to discuss with you boys. There are some things I need you to understand and really listen to, okay?"

We both nod and he continues, "Being in any relationship at such a young age can be so difficult and overwhelming at times, especially considering the circumstances you two will be facing. I don't know what you're planning to do with your friends or when and if you plan on coming out at school, but I believe you boys are responsible enough to handle it with pride and dignity, whatever you decide. That being said, you're both still very young yet and I'm not questioning the validity of your feelings but I need you to understand that if something should ever happen and you decide that you no longer want to be together, it will be very difficult since we're all living under one roof. So I ask that you be careful and remember your friendship before anything else and always respect the other. Please know that your mother and I will be here for you both, no matter what. As long as you don't give me a reason not to trust your judgment, then I will step aside and trust you both."

Then I notice as Carlisle's cheeks turn red and he looks down at the ground for a moment before clearing his throat. He finally develops his 'doctor' voice and says, "Now, are you boys having sex?"

Edward gasps and my eyes go wide as I stammer, "Uh…no sir. No, we're not having sex."

He lets out a sigh of relief and then continues, "Do you plan on having sex?"

Edward gasps again, "Dad!"

I know my face is on fire, "Um…well, no. I mean…oh, God…not any time soon."

Carlisle smiles, "Hey, son, I have to ask because it's my job to protect you both. That being said, whenever you do plan on taking your relationship further…and I pray that it's many years down the road…anyway, when and if it happens, I'm adamant that you boys practice safe sex."

_Good God just fuckin strike me down now…_

The look on Edward's face, I'm sure mimics mine as I manage to squeak out, "Yes, sir."

Then Carlisle leans back in his chair and I can see that he has gone fully into doctor mode as he begins describing the importance of condoms and monogamy. But then…_then_, things definitely go south fast.

"Also, I want you boys to know that there are certain provisions that can make anal intercourse much less painful and less likely to cause unnecessary rips or tears in the anus by method of preparation…"

_Now God! Strike me down now for the love of all that is fuckin holy!_

"Oh my God! Dad?! Please…God please…I will never have sex if you keep up this discussion!" Edward looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel and I am most certainly more uncomfortable than I have been in my whole fuckin life.

Carlisle just raises an eyebrow, "Too much?"

Edward is pinching the bridge of his nose and redder than I have ever seen him, "Yes, dad. Please no more right now."

Carlisle shrugs and says, "Alright, boys. Well, let me say one final thing and then we'll move on…"

He leans forward and looks at us both sternly, "If I should ever walk into one of your rooms and find you in bed together, I will unleash your mother and ground you both until you're 35, got it?"

I nod, "Yes, sir."

Edward nods too and then Carlisle smiles, "Now, you said you had a few things to discuss with me…was there something else?"

Edward looks over at me and his face is etched in worry and I hate that this is gonna hurt him so badly…but I know it has to be done.

So, I speak up, "Carlisle…Edward is having some difficulties dealing with his past."

Carlisle's smile immediately falters as he looks at Edward, "What's going on, son?"

I watch as Edward pulls his knees up to his chin and begins rocking back and forth. His forehead is on his knees and his eyes are already starting to tear up. And I just can't stop myself.

I scoot over next to him and wrap my arm around his back and he immediately curls into my side and starts crying. I run my fingers through his hair and whisper, "Shh, darlin…everything's gonna be okay."

Carlisle is now sitting on the coffee table in front of us and I can see the concern in his eyes as he whispers, "Son…you can tell me anything."

And Edward grabs my shirt with his fists and he's shaking and sobbing hysterically. I lift his chin so that I can look into his eyes and the pain in them causes my heart to break all over again…but I have to be strong…I can break down later.

I whisper, "Do you want me to tell him, Edward?"

He nods and whispers through broken sobs, "Please…I just…I can't…please…"

I nod and kiss his forehead as he buries his face into my chest again.

I look up at Carlisle and take a deep breath before I begin telling him everything that Edward told me about his past and the hallucinations he's been experiencing. He listens intently as I rock Edward back and forth in my arms.

When I was finally finished, I was relieved that I wasn't sobbing hysterically. But I managed to keep it together for Edward's sake. He had stopped trembling and was now just holding onto me for dear life. Carlisle was sitting on the coffee table with his head in his hands and his eyes were glossy like mine and I knew he was doing the same thing I was and just trying to keep it together.

Very quietly he said, "Edward, son, look at me please."

Edward took a deep breath before lifting his head and looking at his dad. Carlisle reached out for his hand and Edward took it, while simultaneously grabbing my hand with his other one. Carlisle grabbed my other hand and we all just sat there for a minute breathing in and holding onto one another.

Edward finally whispered, "Are they going to lock me away again?"

I watched as a few tears slid down Carlisle's cheek and he squeezed our hands, "No, son. No one's going to take you away from us. I know that you're scared, son. You think that you've inherited your biological father's disorder, correct?"

Edward nods, "Am I going to go crazy? Am I going to hurt people?"

Carlisle shakes his head, "No, son, you're not crazy and you could never hurt anyone. I'm not an expert in psychology, that's not my area of expertise, but it doesn't sound like schizophrenia to me. I believe you are experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome."

Now I spoke up, "Yeah, I was reading about that last night on the internet and that's what I thought, Edward."

Carlisle nods and Edward wipes his eyes, "Really?"

I whisper, "Yeah."

Carlisle speaks again, "Son, I think that what you're going through can be completely manageable with the right medicine and counseling. I have a good friend who's an excellent therapist. I'm going to call him and make an appointment for you as soon as possible. I need you to be completely honest with him about everything that happened and everything you're experiencing. You must understand the grave importance of being honest about this, son. I know you're scared but I swear to you that we'll get through this and we'll get you the help you need. It's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of and I can't tell you how proud I am that you came to me with this. I can't imagine how difficult that was for you. Your mother and I will be right by your side every step of the way, son and I know that Jasper will be. You won't be alone in this…you'll never be alone again."

He pulled Edward into a hug and I couldn't help but smile cuz even though I'll never get the image of Carlisle talking about anal preparation outta my head…I think this all went pretty damn well.

Carlisle then pulls me into the hug with them and whispers, "You are two of the strongest boys I have ever known. I hope you both know how truly amazing you are."

After a minute, he pulls away and smiles at me, "Son, could I have a few minutes alone with Edward? And then I'd like to speak with you alone as well."

I nod, "Yes, sir." He smirks, "Enough with the 'sir' crap, Jasper. Just because you're dating my son doesn't mean I'm going to start cleaning my shot gun in front of you or anything. Nothing has changed, son."

I finally smile, "Alright Dr. C. I'm gonna go get some fresh air." I stand and instinctively reach over and peck Edward's lips. Carlisle quirks an eyebrow and I'm just at a loss for what I just did in front of him so I just shrug and mumble, "I'll be outside."

I walk outside and around to the back of the house and lean against the sturdy brick structure. I pull out a cigarette and light it up, hoping that I can finish it before Carlisle wants to speak to me. I close my eyes and just let my mind wander a little while about how truly lucky we are to have someone as understanding as Carlisle on our side. That's the way a parent should be…never forsaking their children for any reason.

I'm lost in my thoughts and don't realize that Carlisle has slipped out through the patio door and is now standing in front of me with his arms folded across his chest. I hear him clear his throat and my eyes open.

He smirks, "Busted."

I stammer, "Uh…sorry, Carlisle. I just…" then I'm stubbing out my cigarette and shoving the butt in my pocket as to not litter his yard.

He lets out a breath and runs his hand through his hair. Then he shocks the hell outta me again as he smiles and leans against the wall next to me, "Can I have one of those?"

I'm sure my expression was classic cuz he laughs, "What can I say? I'm only human, son, and it's been one hell of a weekend."

I smile and hand him a cigarette and my lighter…then I figure, fuck it, and light myself up one too. He exhales with a sigh, "For the love of God, do not tell my wife of this."

I laugh, "Your secret's safe with me, Carlisle. I didn't know you smoked."

He gives me a half smile, "I quit 7 years ago when we adopted Edward. There was just something about that boy…his eyes…he just seemed so lost and so lonely when Esme and I first met him. There was no way I could leave him in that place for one more day. He was afraid to speak to me for almost a year after we adopted him. He would spend hours in his room everyday either reading or staring out the window. We were at my brother's house for Christmas when he was 10 and Edward sat down at his piano. I didn't know he could play. He plucked around at the keys for awhile and once he closed his eyes…he just began playing. It was beautiful."

He takes another drag and continues, "We bought him a piano as soon as we returned home but it was in the family room. He wouldn't leave his room to play it so we eventually moved it up there. He would play that thing for hours. He saw doctor after doctor and none of them seemed to be able to reach him. I couldn't reach him. Before he met you…Esme and I didn't know if we'd ever be able to reach him and pull that brilliant boy from the hell he was so submerged in."

Then he smiles softly at me, "So, tell me son, how'd you do it? How were you able to do what no doctor was able to do?"

I smile and just shrug, "I don't know, really. I mean, I was lost and lonely too so I guess we just kinda connected. Kindred spirits and all that. Did Edward ever tell you that I beat up some boys that were bullying him?"

He shakes his head and smiles, "No, he never told me that."

I smile, "Yeah…I guess I just really wanted Edward to look up to me. I used to be that boy that got picked on and bullied. I never really had a reason to try and be good but Edward gave me a reason. He still had a hard time after that day but I worked with him everyday on looking people in the eye and pretending to have confidence even when you really didn't. I'm pretty good at reading people…kids are really easy to read. If you just act like you're the bomb, they'll pretty quickly follow suit. Edward's a good looking boy so that was pretty easy. Well, and I also went back to the playground a few days after we met and put out the word that if anyone messed with him, they'd have to answer to me. My reputation was already in place so I just kinda shielded Edward until people could really get to know him. Cuz you can't possibly know him and not just love him."

Carlisle smiled, "That's true. Thank you, Jasper. I can't even begin to imagine where my son would be right now if you hadn't stepped in. You're an incredible boy, son and one day, you're going to be an incredible man."

I smiled and probably blushed a bit, "Thanks, Dr. C."

He put his hand on my shoulder and looked serious again, "How are _you _doing, son?"

I sigh and shrug, "Okay I guess. I mean, I'm worried as hell and mad as all get out but what can we do but just dust off our britches and keep on walking. I learned a long time ago that life is hard and it's rarely fair…you can either be a victim and succumb to it, or you can just fight and survive. I'm no victim, Carlisle. I'll always be a survivor."

He smiles, "That you are, son. Most adults don't have half as much sense or will that you've got. You never cease to amaze me and I'm really blessed to know you."

I smile as he stubs out his cigarette, "Thanks, Carlisle…I feel the same way."

Then he sighs, "Well, I guess I need to go make some phone calls. I was wondering if you would do me a favor, Jasper?"

I nod, "Yeah, man, anything."

"I'd like for you to get some counseling too. You've had a tough life, son and now, with what Edward's going through…I would just feel a whole lot better about everything if you'd agree to see someone. You're one hell of a strong boy, Jasper, but I know that even shoulders as broad as yours must be feeling pretty weighed down by now."

I groan and then actually whine, "Ugh…Carlisle…"

He laughs, "Now, you see…that's how a 15 year old boy acts."

I smirk, "Fine. I'll go. Happy?"

He smirks back, "Yes, I am. One last thing…"

I raise an eyebrow in question and he just smiles, "Try to quit smoking and if you do partake in the habit…please don't let Esme find out. I've grown pretty fond of my balls and I'd like to keep them."

I can't help the laughter that overtakes me. I really appreciated the fact that Carlisle treats me like a friend and an adult, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to actually listen to and respect him cuz I tend to just get pissed when people treat me like child. I may be 15, but I'm no fuckin child.

Before he walks in the house, I call out, "Hey, where's Edward?"

"He said he was tired so he went to take a nap."

I sigh and wish I could go up there and curl myself around him. Carlisle stops and sighs, "You can go on up there, just leave the door open and keep in mind that I will be checking in…often."

I smile, "Thanks, Carlisle."

He smiles back, "Anytime, son."

I take the stairs three at a time and knock softly on Edward's door before pushing it open. He's sitting on his windowsill looking out but then he looks over at me and smiles sweetly, "Hey Jay."

I smile and open the door all the way and leave it open as I walk over to him. He raises an eyebrow and I shrug, "New house rule, I guess. No closed doors."

He sighs and whines, "Ugh…you've got to be kidding me. How are we ever going to be alone?"

I sit down on the windowsill opposite him and flash him an evil smirk. I lean into his ear and whisper, "I'm no stranger to having to sneak around to get a little action, Eddie."

His breathing hitches and he turns his head as his lips brush along the shell of my ear and he whispers in that low, husky sex voice of his, "I want you, Jasper. _Now_. I don't care where you take me…just as long as you _take _me. And I don't care where we go…as long as I cum."

I pull away and he's wearing that cocky ass crooked grin that goes straight to my dick. Now, there's this place that I've been wanting to make out with Edward at ever since I first saw it and I'm thinkin that now is my chance. So, I smile and whisper, "Hold onto that thought, babe. I'll be right back."

He looks at me inquisitively and I just cock my eyebrow and smirk as I get up and walk out of his room. I run down to my room and open my guitar case. From one of the inside pockets, I grab a clear plastic baggie that I used to keep my pills in but now it's empty. I pull out my purple Crown Royal bag and open it up. I reach in and pull out two condoms, quickly stuffing them and the baggie in my pocket before returning my bag to it's pocket and shutting the guitar case.

I walk back to Edward's room and he's still sitting on the windowsill. I lean on his doorframe and fold my arms, "Well, you gonna _cum_…or what?"

He smiles and gets up, and follows me to Carlisle's office. I knock on the door and when he tells me to come in, I push open the door and say, "Hey, do you care if we go for a walk? We need some time to talk and get some fresh air."

He smiles, "Sure, boys, just be back by 6 and we'll order a pizza for dinner."

I nod and close the door. I grab Edward's hand and lead him down the stairs and out the front door. He whispers, "Where are we going?"

I turn and smirk at him, "I hope you meant what you said about it not mattering where we went as long as you came."

He looks curious as I lead him down the front porch steps and over to the side of the house. We slip in through the side garage door and poor Eddie looks really confused…until I walk over to Carlisle's black Vanquish and lift the car cover from the passenger side.

He gasps and whispers, "The Vanquish?"

_Fuck yeah, the Vanquish…_

I just nod and open the door, "Get in."

And I realize that it's kinda wrong for me to fool around with Edward in Carlisle's Vanquish...but, fuck it, I'm 15 and this is a god damn Vanquish for Christ's sake.

He hesitates for just a second before hopping in. Now, from my personal experience of fuckin around in cars, it's always safer to use the passenger side seat, that way you don't run the risk of accidentally honking the horn when things get heated.

I reach down and use the lever to lay the seat back and Edward's lying there with that beautiful smirk on his face as I crawl in on top of him.

Once I shut the door, the car cover falls back in place, effectively hiding us from prying eyes. My knees are on the seat in-between his legs and I lean down with my elbows on either side of his face. His legs are spread open to give me room to lay down and I can feel him growing harder by the second.

I attack his fuckin mouth and waste no time pushing my tongue in. He moans deeply as his fingers lock themselves in my curls. I start rubbing myself against him rough and fast cuz he really like that shit.

Eventually, I pull away from his hot little mouth and lean back on my knees with my elbows resting on the dash behind me. He gasps out with shallow breaths, "Why the fuck did you stop?"

I look at my beautiful boy through hooded eyes with a deviant smile and whisper, "Pull my dick out."

His breathing hitches as his hands go to my jeans and make quick work of the button and zipper before reaching his soft, strong hand inside and gasping when he notices I've gone commando. He looks up at me and I just smirk.

His mouth can't quite reach my dick from the position we're in but that's not my plan anyway. I smile down at him as he strokes my pulsing cock in his hand. Then I whisper, "Now, take your cock out and stroke yourself for me, Edward."

He groans as his hands fall to his zipper and it doesn't take long until his impressive dick is being pumped by his own hand. He must notice the predatory look in my eye cuz he just smirks and leans back against the seat with one hand behind his head as strokes his shaft in long, slow movements.

I whisper, "That's a real good boy, darlin."

After a minute, he smiles that evil little smile and whispers, "Wrap those rough fingertips around your thick cock and imagine you're fucking me. Hold on tight, Jay, but I'm sure it won't be as tight as me."

Now, I love me some sweet, shy Eddie but god damn, I fu-huckin- _love _me some dirty talkin Eddie…

My cock is already pulsing as I wrap my hand around it and start stroking myself with a fuckin vengeance. We're staring at each other, eyes hooded with lust, shallow breaths from parted lips, and we're ready to fuckin devour one another.

I quickly reach in my pocket with my free hand and pull out a condom. I rip the top off with my teeth and Edward's eyes get wide and he whispers frantically, "I didn't mean I wanted that now! I'm not ready for that!"

I smile down at my beautiful boy, "Shhh, darlin…do you really think I'd pop your man cherry in a fuckin car? Although, if you were gonna lose your virginity in a car…this'd be the one to do it in."

_Now _he blushes and I laugh, "Relax, Edward…I just don't wanna get any nut on Carlisle's seats."

He smiles and releases a breath he'd been holding, "Oh…okay."

I raise an eyebrow and whisper, "Have you ever put a condom on before, Edward?"

He shakes his head as he now lazily strokes his pretty cock. I smirk and whisper, "Well, I could teach ya, if ya want?"

His lips curl up into that crooked grin and he whispers, "Yeah, I like it when you teach me new things."

I nod, "Alright. Well, I'm gonna put yours on and then I want you to put mine on. Can you do that for me, sugar?"

He nods but doesn't say a word.

I let go of my cock and pull the condom from the wrapper before stuffing the trash in my pocket. I place it on the head of his dick and whisper, "Okay, you gotta squeeze the tip like this…" I show him and he's watching intently. "Now, with your other hand, you grasp it around the head and firmly roll it down, like this…" I do what I say and roll the condom down his big, hard cock until I reach his soft, bronze curls.

I smile, "It's important to make sure you got it on there right and tight, Edward, so it don't slip off."

He nods and licks his lips as his dick twitches in my hand. Now, I lean back again and grab the other condom from my pocket, "Here ya go, Eddie. Let's see what you got."

He takes it hesitantly and starts trying to open it. He's not having any luck as he fumbles with it and I laugh, "Use your teeth, baby, just be sure not to rip the condom."

He blushes and carefully uses his teeth to rip off the top. And god damn, it's fuckin sexy. Once he pulls the condom out, I take the trash and shove it in my pocket. His hands are trembling slightly as he places the condom on the head of my cock. He's in deep concentration and it's the fuckin cutest thing I think I've ever seen.

Once he rolls it down to my blonde curls, he looks up at me with a happy smile, "Did I do it right?"

I smile, "Yeah, darlin, you did real good."

_Fuck, I love this boy…_

He has a beautiful smile on his perfect face as he leans back against the seat. I lean down over him and take his rigid shaft in my hand and whisper, "Jerk me off, Edward."

Like the good boy he is, he reaches down and wraps his hand around my pulsing cock and starts stroking me as I do the same to him. My knees are still on the seat between his legs and he's spread open wide for me.

And I'm surprised how good he feels even through the damn latex but I need a little oral stimulation as well. So, I look into his deep green eyes and moan softly, "Tighter, Eddie. I wanna imagine that I'm fuckin that sweet little ass of yours."

He moans as his head lulls and he tightens his grip. I start nipping at his jaw and I can feel him twitching hard in my hand so I whisper, "Do you like that thought, darlin? Me pounding that tight ass of yours…your fingers clenching my hair and my hand around your big, hard cock pumping you as fast as I fuck you…"

His eyes close and he moans, "Oh fuuuckkk!" And he's cumming hard as his whole body shakes. I smile, "Yeah I guess you do like that thought, huh?"

His eyes open and he's looking at me like he could just fuckin eat me up. He quickly shifts to his side so that now, my back is lying against the seat as he strokes me fiercely. He leans down and kisses me hard and my hands wrap themselves in his hair.

After a moment, he pulls away with that evil smirk and whispers, "Now, I want _you_ to imagine that I'm fucking your perfect tight ass…my big, thick cock sliding in and out as I hover above you and fuck you senseless…"

I moan, "Oh God…"

He leans down and starts nipping my jaw as he whispers, "You can call me God if you want to…just as long as you know that it's Edward _fucking _Cullen making you feel like this. No one will ever make you feel the way I do…you're mine, Jasper. Do you understand me?"

And, fuck, I'm on sensory fuckin overload as I nod furiously. He chuckles softly and whispers, "That's not good enough. I want to hear you say it. Who the fuck do you belong to?"

No one has ever talked to me the way Edward is talking to me right now…and god damn, I don't think I've ever been so fuckin turned on in my life. I wrap my arms around his neck and manage out a strangled, "I belong to you, Edward. I'm all fuckin yours, baby…"

He smiles that evil fuckin grin and whispers, "That's right. You're mine. I fucking own you and don't you ever forget it."

And I can't fuckin hold back as I grunt his fuckin name with my head on his shoulder and cum harder than I think I've cum in my life. And he whispers, "Good boy."

_Fuck yeah, he owns me. And if God does exist…he just gave me the best hand job in all of fuckin creation._

Once I've filled that god damn condom, I fall back against the seat and try to regain my breathing. I whisper, "Jesus fuckin Christ, Edward…"

He leans over me and kisses me softly and whispers, "You own me too, Jay. I'm all yours. Forever."

I whisper against his soft lips, "I love you so much, Edward."

He smiles against my lips and whispers, "I love you too, Jasper. So much."

After a few moments for me to regain my composure, I sit up and slide the condom off my dick and quickly tie it up. I whisper, "Take off your condom and tie it up, like this, Edward."

He does as I say and I pull out the plastic bag. He laughs and says, "Geez…you were really prepared for this. You're like a boy scout."

I smirk, "Not like a boy scout…like a solider, darlin."

He laughs again and once both condoms are in the bag, I pull out the trash from my pocket and put it in there too before tying it up. We quickly get our jeans zipped and buttoned before I open the car door and reach out to push the car cover up.

He gets out first and then I exit the Vanquish, readjust the seat, and do a once over to make sure that we've left no evidence behind. Then I shut the door and replace the car cover.

We leave the garage through the side door and he whispers, "What if my dad sees the bag in the trash?"

I smirk and say, "What do you think I am, an amateur?"

We take off walking down the street and I'm pretty fuckin happy cuz tomorrow is trash day so everyone's garbage is sitting out on the curb. We go down a few houses and I slip the bag in someone's trash can and Edward laughs, "Oh my God, you're an evil genius!"

I smile, "No…I'm a sexual deviant, there's a difference."

He just shakes his head and laughs. We head back home and spend the rest of the night eating pizza and watching TV with Carlisle. He has made Edward an appointment with a therapist tomorrow and me one on Thursday. We had to go back to school tomorrow so we went to bed pretty early and as I lied in my bed, I thought to myself that life can be pretty fuckin hard and rarely fair…but sometimes, it was really fuckin good.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews. I just love reading them. They really make my day.**

**Edward's POV**

I laid in bed that night and for the first time in…well, forever, I had a feeling that things were going to be okay. My shoulders felt lighter from having so much weight taken off of them. I smiled thinking back to my dad's private conversation with me…

_As soon as Jasper left the house my dad turned back to me with a warm smile, "Are you feeling better now, son, having things out in the open?"_

_I smiled, "Yeah…I've been kind of freaking out about it all day. Thanks for being so cool about everything, dad."_

_He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "I can be pretty cool for an old man."_

_I smiled, "You're only 37, you're not that old."_

_He chuckled, "So, you're in love, huh?"_

_I nodded and couldn't help but grin at the thought of all Jasper had done for me. He had pretty much single handedly had the whole conversation with my dad for me. He was the bravest guy I had ever known._

_My dad smiled, "Well, he certainly seems to love you very much. I remember the first time he came to our house for dinner. He was telling us about a story about growing up on his grandma's farm and you laughed. It was the very first time I ever heard you laugh in almost 5 years. I prayed and prayed that you boys would hit it off and you'd finally find a real friend…and my prayers were answered and then some."_

_I smiled, "Yeah, he can always make me laugh."_

_My dad moved and sat next to me. He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder, "For the next few months, I watched as everyday you came out of your shell more and more. Finally, you got to the point where you were laughing and smiling even without him being around. So, let me let you in on a little secret, son?"_

_I looked up at him and he smiled down at me, "People don't have to have wings to be angels."_

_I laid my head back down and sighed, "Yeah, I know. He'll always be an angel to me."_

_Now he sighed, "Son, please know that you can come to me with absolutely anything and I will never turn my back on you for any reason. Also, Edward, if you ever have any questions about your feelings or…um, sex, please come to me. I imagine that the reason behind some of these episodes is because of your newly developing hormonal state."_

_I groan and he laughs, "It's nothing to embarrassed about, son."_

_I look down and speak quietly, "You don't think I'm a freak?"_

_He squeezes my shoulder and laughs, "I most certainly don't think you're a freak. I've kissed a couple boys in my day…"_

_Now my head shoots up, "Really?"_

_He smiled, "Yep. The first time I was 13 and it was my best friend, Colin Walker. We were just experimenting and we felt more comfortable kissing each other at that point. But, we got girlfriends pretty soon after that and found out that we enjoyed kissing them more."_

_It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't know that much about my dad, but I wanted to rectify that situation._

_I smiled, "What about the second time?"_

_He laughs and his cheeks turn red, "The second time I was in college. I was at a frat party and well…I was pretty drunk. I don't recall his name. Hell, I would've never even known it happened if there wasn't pictures..."_

_Now, I'm laughing because I could have never imagined my straight laced surgeon father drunk at a college party and kissing a boy whose name he didn't even remember._

_He finally stops chuckling and he smiles down at me, "Not what you expected from your old man, huh?"_

_I shake my head while my giggling subsides, "No, I never would've expected that."_

_He smiles, "How about tomorrow, after your appointment, we go out to lunch, just you and me? I imagine there's quite a lot we don't know about each other but I'd really like to fix that."_

_I smile back, "Yeah, I would too. Thanks, dad."_

_He pulls me into a hug and sighs, "You are very welcome, son. I love you, Edward."_

"_I love you too, dad."_

Finally, I drift off to sleep and I dream of college parties and kissing Jasper.

The next morning I'm awoken by a soft knock on my door. I open my eyes and see my strong, beautiful boyfriend smiling at me, "Wake up, sleepy head."

I smile, "Good morning, babe."

He leans over and kisses me softly and smiles, "Well, I gotta go to school but I wanted to tell you I love you before you left."

I smile, "I love you too, Jay. I wish you could go with me today."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "I know, Edward but you've gotta learn to talk about this on your own. It's really important to just get it out there and be honest, babe."

Then he leans over and kisses below my ear and whispers, "Just because I won't be sitting next to you, doesn't mean I won't be with you, Edward. I'm _always _with you, remember that, darlin."

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to me in a strong hug. And I realize that he's right…he's always with me.

He eventually leaves for school and I get ready to go to the doctor. First, my dad takes me to the hospital where they have to take blood and run a few tests. My dad said this was a precaution for any medication they might give me. That takes a few hours and it's lunch time.

We go to a small diner and have burgers and fries and we talk. I never realized how funny and…_real _my dad was. He wasn't perfect, he was as flawed as everyone else and that just kind of made him more perfect to me. He told me stories of growing up and more college stories. He told me about the first time he saw my mom and how he just knew that he was going to marry her one day. They first met in school when he was 15 and she was 14.

Finally, it's time for my appointment with Dr. Greene. My dad sits with me for the first 15 minutes and then leaves me to talk alone. At first, I'm very nervous and kind of clam up…but then I remember what Jasper said so I just close my eyes and begin talking.

The time passes quickly and I feel exhausted when we're finished but hopeful. Dr. Greene seemed like a pretty nice guy. He never pushed me, he just let me talk while he listened. My dad had pushed the blood work through so he prescribes me Zoloft. And as I'm leaving his office, he smiles warmly and says, "Edward, if we work at this…I do believe that you'll eventually be able to come off the medicine."

That's a huge relief. By the time me and my dad stop and fill my prescription, we grab some take out because it's already almost 5pm and Jasper should be home by now.

I run upstairs to Jay's room and knock softly before walking in. He's sitting on his bed with books spread all around him and a tablet of paper that he's writing in. He smiles, "Hey, babe! How'd it go?"

I walk over and sit on the bed facing him, "Good, I think. They gave me a prescription and the doctor was pretty nice."

His beautiful dimpled grin is on full display, "That's great, Edward. I'm really proud of you. So, what did they give you? Zoloft?"

I furrow my brows, "Yeah, how'd you know that?"

Then I look down at the books lying open on his bed and I see one of my father's medical journals, a dictionary, and a medical dictionary.

He smiles, "Well, when I got home I wanted to see if your dad had any books on PTSD. So I went to his office and found this journal but then I didn't understand half of what I was reading so I found a dictionary…" Then he laughs, "But then I figured out that I needed a medical dictionary to understand the terminology…"

And once again, he has just simply blown me away, "You're researching my disorder?"

He reaches out and grabs my hand, "Well, yeah, babe. If it's something you got, then I wanna have as much information about it as possible. I figured there might be things I can do to help, ya know. I thought that maybe if I could figure out what the signs are when you're getting ready to have one of those attacks, that maybe I could learn how to stop them or just help you through them the right way."

And I just can't help myself…

I lean over and my fingers are wrapped in his golden curls as I pull him roughly to me and crash my lips to his. He gasps and I take the opportunity to taste the sweet honey of his tongue.

His hands have went to the sides of my face as I push him back against the mattress and over top all the open books.

A moment later I hear, "Edward…quit attacking Jasper and let's go eat."

I pull away with wide eyes and look to see my dad leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face. I blush and stand as Jasper stands with me. Jasper mutters, "Sorry Carlisle."

He just laughs and puts his arm around Jasper's shoulder, "Don't worry about it, son. You're just too damn good looking for your own good…" Then he lets out an exaggerated sigh, "I have that same problem."

I just shake my head and laugh. My dad is the shit.

The rest of the evening goes really well. We eat and do homework. Then Jasper asks me to play the piano for him before he goes to bed. The night ends with a sweet goodnight kiss and I finally drift off to sleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night from a mild nightmare. I'm sitting in my bed taking deep breaths when I hear a soft knock on the door. My mom walks in, "Hey, baby, you okay?"

I nod and manage to get myself calmed down enough to speak, "When did you get back?"

She smiles and sits next to me, "About an hour ago. Your Uncle Tony dropped me off. I was just making some chamomile tea, would you like some?"

I nod and we go down to the kitchen. She pours us both a mug of tea and we sit down at the kitchen table. She looks tired but she smiles, "Your dad said it went well today. How are you feeling?"

I shrug, "Okay, I guess. So, dad told you everything?"

She smiles warmly and takes my hand, "He did." Then she sighs, "I'd like to tell you about how your father and I got together, if you'd like to listen?"

I smile, "Sure, mom."

She squeezes my hand and then takes a drink of her tea before speaking, "We met when he was 15 and I was 14. We both went to a private Catholic school on the upper east side of Chicago. Your father was an only child to Patrice Cullen. His father died when he was just 10 years old in a car accident. His mother was a real piece of work…very high class and well to do."

Then she smiles, "My mother was a teacher at the school, that's the only reason I could attend. My family was very humble. My father was a steel mill worker and I have two sisters and two brothers, so money was very tight. Anyway, the school was sort of separated into preppies and scrubs. Your father was a preppie, I was a scrub."

"I adored your father from the first moment I laid eyes on him but I believed he was truly out of reach. When I was 16, imagine my surprise when he asks me to the school dance. Of course, I didn't have the money to go so instead, he decides to skip it and we ended up just hanging out for hours on my front porch stoop."

"We began dating and we were very much in love. After several months, he asks me to dinner at his home so I can meet his mother. It was a nightmare. His mother insulted me the moment she laid eyes on me. She said that I wasn't good enough to date a Cullen and I needed to go back to the slums where I belonged. I was devastated. Your father got into a very heated argument with her but at the end of the night, I broke it off with him."

I mutter under my breath, "What a bitch…"

My mom raises her eyebrow and then starts giggling, "Super Mega Bitch Supreme."

We laugh for a moment and she continues, "Anyway, your father tried everything to get me to change my mind but I just felt that she was right…that I wasn't good enough for him. He graduated a year later and left for college. I became a waitress in a diner in the slums where I belonged."

Then she takes a drink of tea and a deep breath, "One night, I was walking home from a late shift."

I watch as her eyes begin to glisten and her breath becomes shaky, "I was attacked. They beat me within an inch of my life…and I was brutally raped."

I gasp and now my eyes are starting to glisten. She continues, "I woke up in a hospital with your father by my side. He was a medical student and when he heard what had happened…he was beside himself. I was in and out of it for a few days. Apparently, Carlisle had never left my room during that whole time. When I came too…I found out that I had been so damaged that they had to perform a hysterectomy at the ripe old age of 19. I was devastated. I was nearly comatose for three months. I was aware of everything going on around me but I just couldn't bring myself to care…I felt like I didn't belong in this world anymore."

"Your father would read and sing to me even though I didn't outwardly acknowledge any of it. Then one day, he had missed a brunch with his mother and her friends. She found out where he was and she came storming into my room, screaming that I was trash and she was his only family and if he didn't choose her over me, then she would cut him off and no longer pay for his schooling."

Now, I watched as her lips turned into a soft smile, "I heard him say something that struck me and I realized that it was one of the most important lessons I ever learned. He told her that family is not made of flesh and bone but rather heart and soul. He said that I was his family and he would not leave my side."

I smiled, "So, what happened?"

She smirked, "Well, Patrice cut him off and he had to leave medical school. I had such a hard time after the attack but slowly, he brought me back. He started working at a gas station and I found a job as a receptionist. We got married at the courthouse downtown."

"Karma's a bitch though and 6 months later, Patrice had a heart attack and passed away. Your father wasn't upset because she had been nothing but a nightmare to him for all those years. So, the estate went to him. He went back to medical school and he even helped me go through Interior Design school. But eventually, we wanted a child. We were expecting to get an infant but one day we were visiting a friend of his from medical school for lunch. He worked at the hospital you were in. As we were leaving, I spotted you sitting on the windowsill in the rec room. You were staring out the window and for some reason, I was just drawn to you."

Her eyes were glistening but she wore a beautiful smile, "When I got closer to you, I noticed you were humming the song from Winnie the Pooh. And when I looked into your eyes…I just fell in love. I knew that you were my family and I wanted so desperately to pull you from that abyss, just as Carlisle had done for me. But I became so worried when it seemed that we just couldn't reach you."

Then she laughs, "Now, along comes Jasper. I see you really laugh and smile for the very first time. I used to watch you boys together in the backyard. He was teaching you how to look people in the eye and how to use slang and what it meant. He would have practice conversations with you and he never said anything negative to you, instead he would just make suggestions. And when you got something right he'd tell you how great you were and your whole face would just light up. It was really beautiful."

I smile shyly at the memories, "So, you're okay with us?"

She smiled and grabbed my hand, "Yes, baby. I love Jasper. He's my family just as you are. How could I possibly be upset for someone seeing how wonderful and special you are and just wanting to love you?"

I squeeze her hand and softly say, "Thanks, mom."

She smiles, "You're welcome, sweetie. Now you've got to go to school tomorrow so why don't you go get some sleep."

I lean over and kiss her cheek and she pulls me into a strong hug and whispers, "I love you, baby."

I whisper back, "I love you too, mom."

* * *

And the next morning, Jasper and I hold hands as we walk to the breakfast table and my parents just smile.

We make our way to school and our respective lockers as Jake and Bella come walking up. Jake says hey before walking over to Jay but Bella stops and smiles, "Hey Edward. You weren't here yesterday…are you feeling okay?"

I smile back, "Yeah, Bella. I just had some stuff I had to do."

She smiles sweetly, "Okay. Well, I'm glad everything's okay. You were pretty wasted at the party the other night so I was a little worried."

I just laugh, "Yeah, definitely not my finest hour."

"Well, we need to start working on our biology project so I thought maybe we could get together Saturday afternoon at my house. I think Jake's planning on having Jay over to work on the bike. Angela's going to spend the night so it will just be the three of us. What do you think?"

I shrug, "Yeah, that's fine with me."

She smiles, "Okay, well I'll see in class. Bye."

"Bye, Bella."

Jacob and Jasper are laughing about something and I watch Bella walk up and slip her arms around his waist. They quickly take off and Jasper and I part to begin our day.

Tanya is fawning all over me in class but I don't have the heart to be mean to her so I just smile and try to be friendly, but not over friendly.

The day passes pretty quickly and finally we're at lunch where I get to see Jasper again. I sit down at the table and everyone's already there except for him. After a few minutes, he walks in laughing with Emmett and Rosalie.

They walk over to the table and Jay says, "Hey, ya'll mind if they sit with us?"

We shake our heads and I'm amazed that Juniors actually want to sit at our table. They're both a little scary looking but Jasper seems fine with them so they must be decent. He introduces them around the table and they sit. And I've heard that Rosalie is a major bitch but she actually seemed pretty friendly.

I must've had a look of shock on my face because she smirks, "I'm not a bitch to everyone, Edward…only those that deserve it."

Emmett smacks Jay on the back, "So, man, seriously…football. You need to join."

Jasper shrugs and sighs, "I dunno man…"

Emmett whines, "Aww…c'mon, man! I need someone on the D-line with me that can actually hit. Besides, it looks great on college resumes."

Jasper thinks about it for a moment before finally conceding, "Ugh…fine. But I'll tell you one damn thing…I am _not _attending any fuckin pep rallies. I don't do pep rallies."

Emmett laughs, "That's cool, Jay, we usually sneak out of them anyway."

And I smile because the thought of Jasper in a football uniform all hot and sweaty…yeah, that's nice.

Just then a little black haired pixie girl comes bouncing to the table, "Oh, hey Rose! I was wondering where you were. I've been looking everywhere for you and you know it's hard for me to see over half the Neanderthals in this cafeteria! Are you going to introduce me?"

Rose smiles as the girl sits next to her, "Hey, guys, this is my best friend Alice. She's not on crack, she just acts that way."

Alice scoffs and Rose laughs. Then Alice looks at Jasper and smiles, "Wow! I love those jeans! Did you get those at that little boutique in the mall? Ya, know, the one by Hot Tropic…do you like to shop? I'm going to the mall on Sunday. You should come, I need a shopping partner and Rose has plans. A boy who buys jeans like that just must enjoy shopping. And I can…"

Jasper grabs her by the shoulders and laughs, "For the love of God woman! If you calm your little pixie ass down, maybe I'll go shopping with you."

She smiles, "Really?"

He laughs and lets her go, "Sure, I need to start Christmas shopping anyway."

She bounces in her seat, "That's so awesome! I'll pick you up on Sunday afternoon. A boy shopping partner…this is going to be sooo great!"

The rest of the week passes by and soon it's Thursday and Jasper has left for the day for his doctor appointment. I thought it was really great of him to agree to go. Maybe it will help him some to be able to talk about his past and it helps me feel like maybe I'm not such a freak for being in therapy.

As I'm walking home, a motorcycle pulls up next to me and I hear, "Hey, Edward!" I turn and look to see James.

_Just great…_

I just smile and keep walking. He keeps in stride beside me, "Do you wanna ride?"

I shake my head no and keep walking. He parks the bike and comes running up next to me. He grabs my shoulder and turns me to him, "Hey, what's your problem?"

I just sigh and pull my shoulder away, "I don't have a problem…I just don't need a ride."

He frowns, "I thought you liked me."

I frown back, "Well, you thought wrong."

He takes a deep breath, "You were into me on Saturday night, Edward. I know I wasn't picking up wrong signals…"

I just shake my head, "I don't know what you're talking about and I really have to get home."

I turn and start to walk away when he grabs my arm and jerks me back. His eyes narrow and he's pissed, "Is it because of your boyfriend? Because I don't want a relationship with you, Edward. I just thought we could have some fun…maybe I could teach you what it's like to be with a real man…"

I jerk my arm away from him and quietly say, "I don't know what you're talking about."

He laughs, "Bullshit! I know a twink when I see one."

_What the hell did he call me?_

I just furrow my brow and again say, "I don't know what you're talking about. Jasper is my best friend, not my boyfriend and I am really not interested in you so please leave me alone."

He then grabs both of my arms roughly and I drop my backpack as he grips me tight. It really hurts and I wince and try to get away but his grip tightens, "You tell that little cock blocking boyfriend of yours, that I don't take kindly to being called _boy_."

Just then someone grabs his shoulder and yanks him away from me. I hadn't noticed Emmett's car pull up and he and Rosalie jumped out. Emmett grabbed James by the arms and lifted him up, "Doesn't feel so good, does it asshole?"

James squirms and Emmett drops him to the ground, "Now, get on your little fuckin schwin and pedal your ass outta here."

Rosalie ran up and grabbed my backpack, "Are you okay, Edward?"

I just nod as I rub my arms where he held a death grip on me. James jumps and scurries to his bike but not before yelling, "You tell your little boyfriend, that this shit ain't over!"

_Oh, that's just great…_

He takes off and Emmett turns to me, "What the hell was his deal?"

I shrug and shakily say, "I don't know…that guy's a weirdo."

He just nods and wraps his arm around my shoulder, "C'mon, man…we'll take you home."

I graciously accept and once we're in the car, Rosalie looks back at me with concern, "You sure you're okay?"

I nod, "Yeah…he just freaked me out a little. Thanks for stopping."

Emmett smiles as we pull in front of my house, "No problem, Eddie. If that jerk off bothers you again, you let me know. I hate that asshole."

I nod, "Okay. Thanks again."

They pull off and I walk in the house. Jasper and my mom are in the kitchen making dinner. I walk in and smile, "Hey. That smells really good."

My mom smiles, "Hi honey. How was school?"

We talk a little and I finally say, "So, Jay, how'd it go today?"

He smiles and shrugs, "Okay, I guess. Did you know Dr. Greene's gay?"

I laugh, "No, I didn't. How do you know?"

He smiles, "Well, first I noticed a small picture on his bookshelf of him and his husband, but I didn't know it was his husband at the time. Then I snooped around a little more and saw a few more pictures. Then I noticed in one of the pictures that they had on matching wedding bands, so I asked him."

I just laugh, "You notice the smallest things."

He shrugs, "I just like to be aware of my surroundings."

We eat dinner and then go up to my room to study…with the door open. We just spread our books out on the floor and both lay down. He grabs my hand and smiles, "I missed you today."

I smile back, "I missed you too. I'm glad everything went okay with you today."

He smiles, "Yeah, it won't be so bad. It's actually kinda nice to be able to talk to a guy that's been through some of the same things we're going through."

I speak quietly, "So, you told him about us?"

Jasper looks concerned, "Um…yeah. Does that bother you?"

I sigh and shake my head, "No, not really. I mean, it's not like he can say anything about it, doctor-patient privilege and all that."

Now he sighs, "Hey Edward? Are you embarrassed to be with me?"

My eyes go wide and I shake my head, "Of course not, Jay! Please don't think that…that's not what I meant."

He closes his eyes and rolls over on his back, "Do you think we'll ever be like that some day?"

I sit up and scoot next to him as I look down at his beautiful face, "Like what?"

With barely a whisper I hear, "Married."

I smile even though his eyes are closed, "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Now he smiles and opens his perfect baby blue eyes, "If I asked ya, would you say yes?"

I can feel my cheeks burning but I can't keep the smile off my face, "Um…yeah…I mean, after school was done and we were old enough. Of course, I would. So, are you asking?"

He gives me a wicked grin and I can see that little devious glint in his eyes, "No. You really think I'd ask ya to marry me on your bedroom floor surrounded by schoolbooks? I'm way more creative than that, Edward…and I'm pretty fuckin good at this romance shit so when I do propose…it will be perfect."

Now I laugh, "You are pretty good at this romance shit, babe."

He just laughs and I smile, "Hey Jay? Can we even get married?"

He smiles, "Yeah…well, not in every state but I think we can in some states."

I pull my knees to my chin and wrap my arms around them, "What about this state?"

He shrugs, "I have no clue, Eddie. If we can't in this state, we'll just have to move."

Now I cock my head and ask, "Do you want to live somewhere else when we're done with school?"

He smiles, "I wouldn't mind living somewhere warmer. This cold rainy shit is for the birds. Texas would be nice, although…I don't know if I like the idea of all them cowboys being competition."

I just laugh and grab his hand, "Trust me on this, Jay. You have absolutely no competition. No one can even come close to you. You were made for me."

He smiles and sits up, "You were made for me too, Edward. I love you."

I smile back, "I love you, Jay."

Then he leans forward and I meet him halfway as our lips finally meet. The kiss is soft and gentle and sweet. My beautiful, angelic Jasper always knows just what I need.

His hands begin trailing up my arms and my hands go for the nape of his neck so I can hold him close to me. But as his fingertips slip underneath the sleeves of my shirt, I wince.

He pulls back with furrowed brows, "What's wrong?"

I just shake my head, "Nothing, Jay."

_Shit…please don't let me have bruises…_

He pushes my sleeves up and he gasps, "What the fuck? How did you get these bruises? These are fuckin fingers, Edward. Who the fuck did this?"

_Deep breaths…don't panic…don't freak out…_

"Um…it's nothing, Jay, really. Let's just forget about it. Please?"

He shakes his head, "No way, man. Tell me."

I sigh, "It's no big deal…"

He cuts me off, "If someone did this to me, would you want to know how it happened?"

_Damn Jasper and his damn logical thinking…_

I let out a big breath before I whisper, "James."

He has a look of pure hate on his face when he grunts out, "Tell me every god damn thing that happened, Edward."

I wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes, "Um…I was walking home from school and he stopped me…"

I proceeded to tell him everything that happened and he's seething, "I'll fuckin kill him…"

I shake my head, "No, Jay. It's just stupid. I'm sure he'll leave me alone now. Emmett scared him pretty bad."

Now he pulls his legs to his chin and wraps his arms around them. He buries his face and I can tell he's taking deep breaths, "I can't let this shit go, Edward. The fucker put his hands on you…bruised you. I won't kill him…but I'm gonna hurt him…a lot."

I now wrap my arms around him and whisper, "Please, Jay…I don't want you getting in any kind of trouble for this. They're just a couple of bruises. They'll heal but I will never heal if something happens to you because of me."

And Jasper's still mumbling into his knees, "God damn asshole thinks he can put his fuckin hands on my boyfriend and get away with it…that shit doesn't fly with me, Edward. Then he has the balls to fuckin threaten you…naw, man, I can't let this shit go."

And I plead some more, "Jasper, what if you get hurt or go to jail? It's not worth it. He's not worth it."

Then his stormy blue eyes snap to mine, "You're fuckin worth it, Edward. I have to deal with this shit now, man, cuz I know fuckers like James…he's not gonna stop till I make him stop. He's gonna wait till he can get you alone again and I'll be damned if that's gonna happen. And he told you that this isn't over with me. You know what that tells me?"

I shake my head and he continues, "That tells me that I need to strike first before he has a chance cuz I know the bastard is gonna be planning something. As far as jail goes, I'm a minor. I'll get Em to go with me but I can guaranfuckintee you that I'm gonna handle this shit."

"Jasper, please…"

"No. My mind's made up, Edward and it's not gonna change. So, let's just talk about something else."

_Fuck…maybe I can talk to Emmett…_

I sigh and decide that talking with him about it when he's in this frame of mind just isn't going to work. So I figure, maybe I can make him laugh, "What the hell is a twink, anyway? Was he saying that I'm cream filled?"

He now chuckles a little, "I dunno, man, but your cream filling is only for me."

I smile, "Of course, babe. Now, can we get back to the kissing because I was really enjoying that."

He smiles, "You want me?"

I nod, "More than anything."

He cocks his head, "You need me?"

I smile as my arms go to either side of him and I begin lying him back on the ground, "More than air."

He wraps his arms around my neck and his honey breath is sending me into a state of euphoria, "You love me?"

I press my lips to his and simply whisper, "Yes." His hands wrap in my hair as his lips part and I taste the sweetness of his tongue and mouth. The kiss is getting pretty deep when I hear, "Jesus, Edward…you're attacking the boy again? Do open doors mean nothing to you?"

I pull away and we both sit up quickly to see my dad leaning against the door smirking.

I can feel my cheeks burning, "Uh…sorry, dad."

He laughs, "Well, your mother and I have a few errands to run. I trust that you boys will behave while we're gone."

We both nod and he smirks, "Just remember, you two…I could have hidden cameras all over this house."

Jasper tilts his head and smiles, "_Do_ you have hidden cameras all over the house?"

My dad shrugs, "No…but I could. Eyes in the back of my head, boys…eyes in the back of my head." Then he starts to walk away and I roll my eyes.

I hear, "Don't you roll your eyes at me, son."

I cringe and look at Jasper, "How the hell did he…"

Then I hear, "It's an innate ability you receive when you become a parent. No one knows how or why. Just remember, boys, eyes in the back of my head."

Jasper looks at me, "That's kinda creepy."

"I agree."

We get back to doing our homework but when they leave, we still roll around on the floor kissing….because, hey, he may have eyes in the back of his head, but we're still teenagers.


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, so I'm really sorry for the delay. I've been dealing with some pretty heavy personal shit these past couple weeks. Updates should be back to once a week now. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

**Jasper's POV**

I laid in bed that night and begin to plan my course of action against the mother fucker who put his hands on my baby boy. I'm kinda glad that I wasn't with Edward when it happened and Emmett showed up instead cuz I woulda put my hands on that prick without thinking about the best plan of attack.

My dad was one crazy, mean, paranoid son of a bitch but he knew a whole hell of a lot about tactical warfare. He taught me a lot about never running into a situation blind and never letting your emotions dictate you in a time of war. It's all about planning a decisive attack to not only disengage your enemy, but completely eradicate them. Well, this was fuckin war and I was gonna destroy that fucker.

If I let my emotions rule me in this James situation, I would only end fucking him up and getting myself in unnecessary trouble and that's not really what I wanna do. No, I wanna fuck his whole god damn world up. I wanna fucking end him. I wanna be standing there with a cigarette in one hand and a big ass smile on my face as I watch his world crumble.

So, I have to be smart. The first rule when going to war; know your enemy. So, beginning tomorrow, I was gonna find out everything I could about the sick bastard. I also have to keep Edward covered at all times. I'm gonna have to work with him on fighting again. I tried to teach him how to fight when we were 14 but he never really took to it. Well, I'm gonna have to try harder cuz he needs to know how to defend himself.

Now, I was all worked up. I crawled outta bed and went to my windowsill. I opened it a crack and lit up a cigarette. As I smoked, I thought about my and Edward's conversation about marriage. I'm totally gonna marry that boy some day. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face thinking about the future. I could see us together, in a nice little house out in the country, sitting on the front porch swing, cuddling and kissing. Fuck, he's turned me into such a damn girl. I don't care though…I just love him.

I finally crawled back in bed when I heard my phone beep. I picked it up and saw a text message…

_Couldn't sleep…thinking about you…miss your arms around me and the sound of your heart beating…want you, need you, love you…forever…Good night, love - Edward_

I smiled and quickly typed back…

_Couldn't sleep either…always thinking about you…miss your warm breath against my chest and the feel of your soft bronze hair against my neck…want you now, need you more, love you always…forever, baby…Sweet dreams, darlin - Jasper_

I was smiling when I finally fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning, glad that it was Friday and the weekend was coming up. Since I had made plans for Saturday afternoon with Jacob and Sunday with Alice, I needed to spend time with Edward tonight. I missed him like crazy and was really hoping we could somehow sneak away together cuz even though we had kissed a few times this week, I needed more of him…in a really bad way.

I quickly showered and brushed my teeth. I threw on a pair of worn out jeans and a black hoodie before walking down to Edward's room. I knocked softly before walking in and stopped immediately when I saw him.

He had just showered and was standing there with his jeans pulled up but not buttoned, no shirt, and he was running the towel through his damp, messy, bronze hair. And he was fuckin barefoot.

He smiled that sweet crooked smile at me, "Hey, Jay. Good morning."

The boy just had no fuckin clue what he did to me. I heard Esme down in the kitchen, her and Carlisle were talking while she made breakfast so I just had to make a move…and fast.

In three quick strides, I was across the room. My arms wrapped around his waist and I yanked him to me roughly as my lips found his. Neither one of us had to ask for more because our lips instantly parted, eager to take one another in.

He moaned into the kiss as his fingers wrapped tightly in my curls. I swear, I just couldn't get enough of him as my tongue frantically explored every inch of his delicious mouth and our heads turned again and again as we fought to drink each other in as much as possible.

My hands began exploring the damp soft skin of his back before coming around to the front and committing each and every line and muscle of his strong chest to memory.

Because the kiss had grown so frantic with desire and need, we were quickly running out of air. I broke away from the kiss as he sucked in breath in heavy pants. My mouth quickly moved to his neck where I nibbled and sucked and licked as much of him as possible.

He was moaning softly in my ear and I could feel his warm breath against it as his breathing was incredibly ragged. My hands quickly slid around to his back again and down to his perfect ass as I grabbed both cheeks and squeezed, pulling him into me so I could feel his hard cock straining against his jeans against mine. We both moaned and one of his hands traveled from my hair and quickly grabbed my cock through my jeans and began rubbing.

He whispered in my ear, "Oh God, Jay…want you so bad…"

I was unable to verbalize much else at that point and simply grunted against his neck as I continued assaulting it.

Then I heard Esme yell, "Hey boys! Breakfast is done!"

I quickly pulled away from Edward as both of us dragged in sharp breaths and tried to get ourselves calmed down enough to go downstairs. Eventually, once my breathing settled, I smiled at my beautiful boy, "Mornin, darlin."

He laughed, "Fantastic morning, Jay."

I leaned down to his ear and whispered, "Tonight…you and me…I _need _some alone time with you."

He simply nodded, "Yeah, me too."

I left his room so he could get dressed and we wouldn't get caught in a bad position. I went downstairs and to the kitchen, "Mornin, Esme, Carlisle."

I helped Esme set the table as Carlisle was sitting at the table, writing out bills. Soon Edward joined us and we sat down and began breakfast. We chatted a little while and Esme smiled, "So, you boys have any plans for the weekend?"

We told her about our plans and then she added, "Well, your father and I are going into Seattle tonight for dinner and a movie."

Then Carlisle smiled, "And before you ask, yes, you two are going with us. We'll let you go off on your own once we get there but you _are _going."

_Damn it…_

"Um…I have football practice tonight so I probably won't get home until about 5:30."

Carlisle looked at me curiously, "Football, huh? That's great, son. We'll wait for you."

Soon enough, Edward and I were walking to school. I nudged into him as we walked, "So, I was wondering if you'd wait for me till after practice? I don't want you walking home by yourself."

He smiled over at me, "Hmm…walking home by myself and possibly getting assaulted by a creepy weirdo or watching my sexy as hell boyfriend all hot and sweaty playing football? I don't know, Jay…"

I smirked, "Smart ass."

He laughed, "Of course, I'll stay and watch you practice. Maybe I can get some homework done while you're practicing."

We made our way to school and before I knew it, the day had flown by. I waited for Edward by his locker and smiled as I saw him walking up, "Hey, Jay. You ready for some football?"

I smiled, "I'm ready to hit some people."

He smirked and grabbed his books from his locker, stuffing them into his backpack. We walked together to the locker room and Alice and Rosalie were standing there talking. Alice beamed at Edward, "Hey, Edward! Are you staying for practice?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground, "Um…yeah."

_Fuck, he's adorable…_

She ran up and threw her tiny arm around him, "Great! I'll have someone to sit with. I usually stay and watch Rosie and the squad practice. Cheerleading's not really my thing but she _is _my best friend so I gotta watch her, ya know?"

He looked up now and smiled, "Yeah, okay." Then he turned to me, "Um…see you after."

I nodded, "Yeah, man."

I watched them walk off together as she chatted away. I made my way into the locker room and there were only a few guys left changing. Emmett smiled, "Hey, man! You ready to drop some fuckers to the ground?!"

I nodded, "Fuck yeah, man."

Emmett was a middle linebacker or as we called him 'the quarterback of the defense.' It was his job to correctly identify the offense's formations so he could make any necessary adjustments to the defense. I was a linebacker on the strong side which would be the left or right outside position depending on what tight end I was paired up against. My job was to be able to shed the lead blockers quickly so I could get to the running back or the quarterback if he was attempting to throw.

I loved my job cuz I basically just got to plow fuckers to the ground all day long. It was very therapeutic. I especially loved sacking the quarterback though cuz he wasn't used to getting hit. By the end of practice, I was sweatin like a whore in church and worn out but feeling really great. I had looked over and saw Edward and Alice on the bleachers. She was going a hundred miles a minute and he was laughing, probably at how animated she was.

I quickly showered and was getting dressed when Em came over and sat down, pulling on his socks, "Hey, Jay, you did really great today."

"Thanks, man," I said pulling on my jeans. Everyone else had cleared outta the locker room leaving us alone so I decided to take my opportunity.

"Hey, Em…thanks for having Edward's back against that fuckin prick yesterday."

He smiled over at me, "No problem, man. He's a good kid and I hate that asshole."

Then his brows furrowed and he got quiet, "Can I ask you something?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, man."

He took a sharp breath and whispered, "Is Edward gay?"

_Well fuck my life…_

My heart was racing as I sat down and pulled on my socks, "Why would you ask that?"

He looked down at the ground now, "Well, I know that James is. I could care less if Edward's gay or not…it makes no difference to me. The reason I'm asking is because James is one sick bastard who does his best to exploit those kind of young, naïve guys. Edward's right up his alley."

My eyes snapped to his, "What are you talking about?"

He looked over at me with concern on his usually happy face, "Don't say anything, okay?"

I nodded and he continued, "Last summer, my cousin Tommy was staying with us. He was 14 at the time and I took him to this party with me. Anyway, he met up with James who was 18 at the time. I was pretty sure Tommy was gay and like I said before, I didn't care at all about that. But then he started hanging out with James like every day and I started noticing changes in his behavior. He had always been kind of shy and quiet but all of a sudden, he was becoming angry all the time and really defensive about everything."

"About a week before the end of summer, he disappeared for like 2 days. So, I found out where James lived and went over there. Some young guy answered the door and he tried to not let me in but I pushed myself in through the door anyway. I saw Tommy lying on the couch half naked and passed out. There were like 3 other guys there including the young one. Anyway, there was a mound of coke on the coffee table and all kinds of pills lying around. I asked what the fuck happened but no one would say shit. I picked Tommy up and helped pull his clothes on and carried him outta there but I told James that if he ever contacted him again, I would fucking kill him."

Now my mind was racing, "What happened with Tommy?"

He took a deep breath and leaned over to put his head in his hands, "Well, once he came to, he wouldn't say anything. I took his cell phone and intercepted any calls from that asshole. He left and went back home to California. But when he got there…his mom and dad had received a bunch of pictures in the mail. Very bad pictures of him with these various guys but their faces were blacked out and he was doing drugs. He tried to kill himself. He's still in the hospital…psych ward. I went to the cops about what I saw but there was no proof that James had taken or sent the pictures. They went to his house but didn't have a search warrant. So, by the time they got one and went back, of course they didn't find anything. I'll do whatever it takes to keep Edward away from that sick fucker."

I took a deep breath and tried to gather my thoughts.

_As bad as all of this is…I can use this information to end that fucker._

"I'm sorry, Em. I swear to God, I will kill that fucker if he lays another fuckin finger on Edward. I'm gonna take the bastard down, I just need to come up with a plan first."

He looked over at me, "Whatever you need, bro, I'm with you."

I nodded, "Yeah, thanks, man. Um, I have to leave early on Thursdays…would you mind giving him a ride home on those days?"

He shook his head, "No, not at all. So…is Edward your boyfriend? James mentioned something about him having a boyfriend…"

I pulled on my hoodie and took a minute before I whispered, "Yeah. Please don't tell anyone."

He smiled over at me, "I won't say a word, man. Promise. Just don't say anything about Tommy."

I nodded, "Yeah, man, I won't say anything. So, you're okay with it then?"

He laughed, "Fuck, bro…to each their own. Like I said before, he's a good kid and you're both my friends so as long as you're good…I'm good."

I let out a breath I had been holding, "Really? Thanks, Em."

He smiled, "No problem, Jay. And whenever you are ready to come out to everyone…or even just to your close friends, I'm sure they'll be okay with it. There are a lot of bigoted assholes in this town, but most of them are the older generation or mother fuckers in denial like Newton who just hates gays because he's secretly curious about guys. Besides, if anyone fucks with you, we can just beat the shit outta them!"

I laughed cuz Em was one cool fucker and I was very relieved to have him on my side. I just hoped Edward wouldn't freak out too much when I told him. We quickly finished dressing and headed outta the locker room. Rosalie, Alice, and Edward were standing there talking and he actually looked kinda comfortable talking with them.

Em wrapped his arm around Rosalie's waist and gave her a kiss. Alice had her arm wrapped around Edward's shoulder and they were laughing about something. I walked up and he smiled, "Hey, Jay, you were really good out there."

I smiled, "Thanks, Eddie. Hey Ali, how's it going?"

She pulled away and tousled Edward's hair, "Good, Jazzy. We're still on for shopping on Sunday, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah. You gonna pick me up?"

She smirked, "Oh, that's right…you're a little freshman…"

Now I laughed, "Little? Woman, I'm nearly 6 foot tall and you're what, like, 4'9? You know that's the same height as Gary Coleman, right?"

She rolled her eyes, "You know what they say about dynamite coming in small packages."

"Yeah, yeah…"

She smiled, "I'll pick you up at 9am."

I nodded, "Alright, I'll see you then. C'mon, Eddie."

We said our good byes and started to walk away when Emmett offered us a ride home. So, we took it and crammed into the backseat of his car along with Alice. We chatted a little on the way and soon we were at home.

And then we were headed down to Seattle with Carlisle and Esme. We held hands in the backseat and I laid my head on Edward's shoulder as his other hand brushed softly through my hair. I guess I must've fallen asleep cuz the next thing I know, Edward is shaking me gently, "Hey, Jasper…wake up, babe."

I lifted my head and yawned, "Sorry…didn't mean to fall asleep….guess practice tuckered me out."

He laughed, "You talk so cute, Jay. Your accent's much thicker when you first wake up."

We got outta the car and Carlisle and Esme went off to some fancy restaurant and they let me and Eddie go off by ourselves but we had to meet up with them at the movie theater in an hour and a half.

We found a little pizza place and went in. We sat down in a booth across from each other and got pizza, hot wings for me, and breadsticks for him. Our legs were brushing each other underneath the booth and I loved the little blush it brought to his cheeks. We ate and talked for awhile. I was just really glad to get some time alone with him, even if we couldn't really touch, just being with him was enough…for now.

When we were done eating, we still had 45 minutes until we had to meet Esme and Carlisle. I noticed a pool table in the back room, "Hey, Edward? Wanna play pool?"

He shrugged, "Um…sure, but I don't really know how to play."

I smiled, "I can teach ya, if ya want."

He laughed, "Yeah, I'd like that."

We went back to a table and I began racking the balls, "Okay, Eddie. We'll play 8-ball." I began rattling off the rules to him and we began playing. After a few rounds, I noticed that Edward was holding the stick all wrong. So, as he bent over the table, I crept up behind him and wrapped my arms around him and slid my hands on his to help him position the stick right.

He took a sharp breath and whispered, "What are you doing?"

I laughed softly in his ear, "Helping you…I can stop if you want."

He was quiet for a moment before whispering, "People will see us."

I pulled away and sighed, "We're in Seattle, Edward. We're not around anyone who knows us. It would probably be a good thing to start taking little steps so we can come out someday. But if you're not ready, I won't push."

I walked to the other side of the table so he could take his shot.

_God damnit I hate this shit…I just wanna be with my fuckin boyfriend! Why is this shit so fuckin hard!_

He stood there a moment just looking at me with a serious look on his pretty face. Finally, he walked over by me and hopped up on the table sitting there and fidgeting with the pool stick, "Um…it really wouldn't bother you? I mean, like, people staring or saying bad things."

I shook my head, "Naw, man, it really wouldn't. I could give a fuck less what anyone thinks of me. In the immortal words of Popeye, 'I yam what I yam.'"

He chuckled and I smiled, "A brilliant man once told me that if people don't like what you're doing, fuck em. It's your life, live it. But like I said, I won't push you, Edward. I'll wait until you're ready. I just really wanna hold your fuckin hand, darlin. That's all."

He blushed and took a deep breath. Then he smiled that crooked little smile up at me and said, "When you take off a band aid…do you peel it off slowly or just rip it off?"

I was a little confused, "Um, I rip it off I guess. Better to just get it over with."

He looked down at the ground for a moment before looking up at me and smiling, "I think that's the best way."

Then his hand reached out and grabbed my hoodie, yanking me to him as his other hand went straight to my hair and pulled me down to him. His lips crashed to mine and to say that I was caught off guard, would be a gross understatement.

It took a second for me to catch up to the reality of the moment but soon my hands were on his waist and I brushed my tongue across his bottom lip, praying that he wasn't ready to end this little public display of affection yet.

And much to my surprise, his lips parted and I felt his tongue slide against mine. I moaned softly into the kiss as I tasted my beautiful boy.

_Holy shit, Edward's tongue is in my mouth in a public place!_

We kissed for just a minute before he gently broke the kiss with a big smile on his perfect face. My smile matched his as we just stared at each other. Then I heard some guys behind him, "That's fucking disgusting. Damn queers are starting out young these days."

Edward's smile immediately faltered and his head dropped down. I glared daggers over his shoulders at the two guys. They were older, probably late thirties, with beer bellies, half bald and looking pretty damn pathetic.

"How'd you like to get your ass kicked by a queer boy?"

One of them threw his stick on the table and laughed, "You wanna go, boy?"

Edward looked up at me with wide eyes, "No, Jay. Don't do this."

But I was already pissed and just couldn't help myself as I pulled away from him and rounded the table to stand toe to toe with the asshole. The guy was actually a couple inches shorter than me but easily outweighed me by thirty or forty pounds. But his arms were short and he was probably slow so it would be pretty easy to dodge his punch and quickly counter staying out of arms reach. Then if his buddy decided to join in, the pool stick was within reach and I had no qualms about fightin dirty when I was outmatched.

So I smiled, "Feelin froggy, mother fucker? Then leap."

Then, Edward was standing by my side with his pool stick in his hand, "I don't really think two on one is a fair fight. Now, it's fair."

_Edward was standing up for me…against grown men. The boy was amazing…but I couldn't let him do this…_

Thankfully, the dickhead's buddy grabbed his arm, "John, you really wanna risk going to jail for beating the shit out of some stupid kid?"

John pulled away and sighed, "God damn kid. Trying to redeem your fucking pride in front of your little faggot boyfriend?"

I laughed, "My pride's just fine, I got nothing to be ashamed of. You wanna redeem your fuckin pride from the little queer boy who just called you out? Play me."

Now he laughed, "I'll wipe the fucking table clean with you, kid."

I pulled out fifty bucks and laid it on the table, "What's wrong? You afraid of getting your ass handed to you by a fifteen year old queer boy?"

Now the other guy laughed, "You're on, boy. You know how to play cutthroat?"

I smirked, "I think I've heard of it a time or two."

They laid their money on the table and John racked the balls. These really were two dumb mother fuckers. I spent years in the bar that my mama worked at in a small town in Texas when I was a kid, hell, I even had a cot in the back so I could sleep. Shooting pool and throwin darts was fuckin ingrained in me from the time I was 6 years old. Some of the old regulars at the bar, would spend hours teaching me everything they knew. I was a fuckin shark by the time I was 9.

Edward whispered to me, "How do you play this game?"

I leaned into his ear and whispered, "Balls 1-5 are lows, 6-10 are mids, and 11-15 are highs. The first round is open and once we've all hit, then the sets are assigned accordingly. The object is to pocket your opponent's balls while leaving at least one of yours on the table. Whoever has the last ball in their set standing, wins."

He just nodded and scooted off to the side. We all took our first shots and I ended up with the highs. And I don't know who the fuck these bastards thought they were dealing with, but they obviously didn't count on me.

My shot came and I lined up my stick and made the cue ball jump over mine to knock two of their balls in. I smirked as their mouths hung open. The game didn't last long as I jumped balls, banked shots, and curved the cue ball around mine, always knocking more than one of theirs in with each shot.

When the game ended and all of their balls were pocketed, all five of mine remained on the table. I smirked again and threw my stick on the table. I grabbed the $150 and smiled, "Thanks, guys. I'm gonna go buy my boyfriend something really nice."

I held my hand out to Edward who was grinning ear to ear. He took it and I shoved the money in my pocket as we made our way outta the place. I could hear them mumbling and cursing behind me, and it was fuckin hilarious.

Once we left the restaurant, Edward turned to me, "How did you learn to play like that?" So, I told him about my past and he laughed, "That was the coolest thing I've ever seen."

I smiled at him holding up our joined hands in between us, "_This _is the coolest thing I've ever seen. You're holding my hand walking down the street."

He blushed and looked around, "It doesn't bother you that people are staring at us?"

I laughed, "Look at us, Edward. We're fuckin hot. If you were them, wouldn't you be staring at us?"

He just laughed and shook his head. Then he smiled at me and said, "I really fucking love you, Jay, you know that?"

I stopped walking and turned to him with a raised eyebrow, "Oh yeah? How bout a kiss then?"

He raised an eyebrow back and leaned against the brick wall, "You want it? Come and get it."

_Good God, I fuckin love this boy…_

I leaned with one arm against the wall and reached my other hand up to stroke his strong jaw. I whispered, "Be careful, little boy, haven't you heard that if you play with fire, you're gonna get burned?"

Edward could always surprise the shit outta me and tonight was no different. His fingers hooked in my belt loops and pulled my hips against his and whispered, "There's nothing _little _about me, Jay. And that glimmer in your baby blue eyes, is enough to set me on fire. The feel of your rough fingertips gliding along my skin, scorches my needy flesh. So, if I'm playing with fire…then I beg of you…burn me again, baby."

_Jesus Christ…_

I closed my eyes and leaned into him, brushing my lips across his. I felt his tongue slide along my bottom lip as he sucked it gently between his. I moaned when our tongues collided and I felt him smile.

He just loved that he could make me come completely undone…I loved it too.

We kissed for a minute and I could faintly hear cat calls and comments around us…but I was too caught up in the moment to care.

When I finally pulled away, we were both grinning like idiots. Just then, an older woman walked by and mumbled, "Holy shit, that was hot."

Edward and I started laughing hysterically and I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and kissed his forehead, "C'mon, darlin. Let's go make out at the movies."

He blushed and wrapped his arm around my waist as we made our way to the theater to meet his parents.

When we got to the theater, his parents were there waiting for us. Esme smiled as we walked up, "So, what are you boys going to see?"

Edward shrugged and I suggested the movie that had been out the longest and was supposedly the crappiest so we would hopefully be relatively alone in the theater.

Carlisle sighed, "Well, your mother and I are going to see a crappy chick flick…"

Esme glared at him and he quickly smiled, "…what I meant to say was, your mother and I are going to see a lovely, moving tale about long lost love and sisterly devotion and…well….all that crap that chicks like."

He laughed and Esme playfully smacked his arm as she tried not to giggle.

He wrapped his arm around her and smiled, "We'll meet you boys here in two hours. Be good and remember…"

Edward giggled, "Eyes in the back of your head…yes, dad, we know."

Carlisle gave us a knowing look before they turned to leave. Edward smiled at me and rolled his eyes. We heard Carlisle say, "Don't roll your eyes at me, Edward."

Edward grimaced and whispered, "How the hell does he do that?"

I just shrugged, "I don't know, man, but that's some seriously fucked up shit."

We bought our tickets and popcorn and of course, Skittles for him and M&M's for me. Yeah, we just ate, but we're growing boys.

We went inside the theater and just as I hoped, there were only three other people in it. As we sat down and he began eating the popcorn, he leaned over to me and whispered, "You really have no intention of watching this crappy movie, right?"

I put my arm around him and grabbed a handful of popcorn, "Nope. Just waitin for the lights to go off."

We both smiled and leaned down in the seats with our feet up on the seats in front of us. And the second the lights went off, Edward moved the popcorn from his lap and we lifted the armrest from in between us.

We were havin the best make out session I had ever had in a theater but…fuck, I was surely about to bust the zipper on my jeans, I was so fuckin hard.

About half way through the movie, my lips and tongue and teeth were worshipping Edward's jaw line and neck as his fingers grasped at my hair and hoodie. He whispered breathlessly, "Oh God, Jasper…take me somewhere…I don't care where…I need more…please, baby…please…"

And how could I resist my beautiful boy when he was begging for more of me. I grabbed his hand and then grabbed a bunch of napkins and shoved them in the front pocket of my hoodie, "C'mon, babe."

I led him to the fire exit and we slipped through to the door that led to the stairwell. I opened the door and said, "Go through, close the door behind you and make sure it opens from the inside. I don't wanna get locked in there." Yeah, I had done this a time or two.

He nodded and did as I asked. When he was able to open the door from the inside, he grinned and grabbed my hoodie, pulling me quickly through to the other side with him. As soon as the door shut, I pushed him against it and attacked his mouth again.

My hands went to his belt and quickly undid it, leaving it open and then I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans as his hands went to mine and did the same thing. When everything was undone, I slipped my hand inside his boxers and pulled his cock out through the hole. He did as I did and soon, our hard cocks were sliding against each other as we grinded hard.

He grabbed my hand and brought it to his mouth, breaking our kiss and licking the palm. Then he brought his hand up to my mouth and I licked his palm. Our hands wrapped around each other's cocks and his head fell back against the door with a low moan as mine fell against his shoulder with a deep groan.

We worked each other over fast and hard and soon, one of his legs hitched up against my hip as his breathing became erratic and his eyes rolled back then closed. I whispered, "Tell me when you're gonna cum, baby…"

My free hand went underneath his thigh, holding his leg in place on my hip as I leaned into him a little harder. My mouth was against his collarbone, open and panting as my vision started to become blurry and I knew that I was gonna explode very soon.

He started trembling and he panted out, "Now, Jay…"

I quickly grabbed a handful of the napkins from my pocket and used them to keep our cum contained and from getting on our clothes. We both came together and we stood there a moment, just regaining our composure before I gently pulled away and kissed him softly.

I wrapped the napkins up and we redid our jeans. He grinned at me, "Thank you."

I laughed, "You're welcome."

Once we were situated, I opened the door and led us back into the theater. The movie still had about twenty minutes so I grabbed our trash we left in the seat and threw it away, along with the soiled napkins. I whispered, "Edward, we're sweating, we're flushed, and our hair is matted…we look very, very guilty right now. Let's step outside to cool off."

He smirked, "You want a smoke, right?"

I laughed cuz he knew me too well, "Yeah. Will you come with me?"

He smiled, "I think we already established that I will cum with you anywhere."

I just laughed and we went outside and stood to the side of the building. I lit up a square and he stood in front of me. The nighttime air was brisk but felt fantastic against my heated skin.

After a minute, I decided I better tell him about Emmett, "Hey Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Um…I have something to tell you and I don't want you to freak out about it, okay?"

He furrowed his brow, "What is it, Jay?"

I took a drag from my cigarette and decided to just man the fuck up and spit it out, "Emmett and I were alone in the locker room after practice and he asked me if I was your boyfriend. He heard James mention it and…I told him the truth."

He gasped, "What did he say? Is he going to out us?"

I shook my head, "No, man. He said that he thought you were a good guy and that we were both his friends and as long as we were happy, he was happy for us. He said he wouldn't tell anyone and I trust him."

He was breathing heavy and looked like he might have a panic attack so I threw my cigarette down and put my hands on his shoulders, "Calm down, Edward. I promise, it'll be okay. Please don't worry."

He took a couple of deep breaths and finally looked up at me, "He said he was okay with it?"

I nodded, "Yeah, darlin, and I really think he is. I mean, he changed his clothes in front of me and everything without freaking out or getting squeamish…he gave us a ride home after school…I think he'll be true to his word."

Edward finally nodded, "Okay, Jay. If you say it will be okay, then I trust you."

I pulled him into a hug and whispered, "You're not mad at me, are you?"

He sighed, "No, I'm not mad. A little shocked, but not mad. I understand why you told him."

I whispered, "I love you, Edward."

He whispered back, "I love you too, Jasper."

We met up with Carlisle and Esme and were soon on our way back home. Along the way, Edward and I both fell asleep leaning against each other. We were woken up by Esme once we pulled into the garage.

We said our quick good nights and headed upstairs. I gave Edward a long, slow, good night kiss before heading to my room.

Once there, I pulled out my phone and dialed Emmet. He answered, "S'up Jay?"

"Not much man. Hey, I was wondering…do you have James' address?"

"Yeah. What are you planning on doing?"

I sighed, "Nothing tonight, Em. Just planning."

He chuckled, "Alright, man…but if you go after that fucker, I want a piece."

I laughed, "You got it, man."

He gave me the address and we hung up. I quickly pulled the address up on Mapquest and saw that it was relatively close. Less than a 45 minute walk. So, I pulled up the hood of my black hoodie and grabbed my smokes before opening up my window and crawling out. My window wasn't directly by a tree so I had to walk along the ledge for a moment before reaching a branch and making my way down the tree.

I took off walking, just lost in my thoughts about everything that happened with James. Pretty soon, I was at his house. It was a small blue one story house. His bike was parked in the driveway, along with an old Caprice. All the lights were off and so, I began to go to work. My mission tonight was just to case the place.

So, I began to walk around the house, making notes of all windows and doors. There didn't seem to be any dogs, so that was a good thing. I looked through the windows and made a mental note that this fucker was loaded. His house was decked out with every high tech gadget you could think of. Former drug dealer, my ass. Either this guy was still dealing, doing something else illegal, or came from money. It made sense cuz now that I looked at his bike…it was a vintage Harley, fully decked out. Then I remembered the leather jacket he wore, and it was obviously expensive.

I figured I'd check one more thing before I left. I pulled out my gloves and slipped them on. I walked over to the Caprice and looked around for a moment making sure there was no alarm on it before using my elbow to smash one of the smaller back side windows. I reached in to open the door. Luckily, the dome light didn't come on so I didn't have to deal with it.

I began rifling through papers in the glove box and console before I found something that might be useful. It was a bank statement for James Hunter. Now, I had the fuckers last name, bank account number, and a month's worth of transactions to peruse so I could see where this bastard spent his money and likely hung out.

I shoved it in my pocket and started walking back to my house. James may think he's a badass…but he ain't no ghetto fucker like me. By the time I was finished with him…well, he'd just be finished.

I got home and made my way back to my room. I quickly showered and hid the bank statement in my guitar case. Then I pulled on some sweatpants and crawled into bed. I glanced at the clock and it was damn near 4 in the morning. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I slept till 10 and soon after, Esme was dropping me off at Jacob's house so we could work on my bike. After about an hour of bullshitting around, we got to work.

After awhile, Brady came strolling in the garage, "Hey guys, what are you doing?"

Jacob smiled, "Working on Jay's bike, cuz. What are you doing here?"

He smiled, "My mom came over to help Uncle Billy with some sort of paperwork." Then he smiled at me with a blush in his cheeks, "Hi Jasper."

I smiled and laughed a little, "Hi Brady. How ya doin?"

He hopped up on one of the work benches, "I'm good. So, um…I was hoping you would…um…call me so we could hang out."

I smiled over at him, "We're hanging out now, aren't we?"

He blushed and giggled, "Yeah, I guess."

I heard a woman yell for him and he hopped up, "Um…I'll be back."

He took off running out of the garage and Jacob laughed, "Sorry, man but I think my cuz has a man crush on you."

I just smirked, "Can you blame the boy? Look at me. I pull em all in, man…men, women, hell, even the animals follow me around."

He shook his head laughing, "You're one cocky son of a bitch."

I smiled, "You're right on both accounts there, Jake."

We continued working and eventually he looked over at me, "So, does it bother you that Brady has a crush on you?"

I just shook my head, "Naw, man. He's just a kid. He'll get over it. Does it bother you?"

He just shrugged, "No, not really. I mean, I don't have a problem with, ya know, gays and stuff."

I laughed, "Gays and stuff, huh?"

He threw the dirty oil rag on the floor at me and rolled his eyes laughing, "Fuck off, Whitlock."

I smiled, "Aww…fuck you too, Black."

Brady came back in and hopped on the work bench again. We all chatted a bit and I was thankful Jake was there so I wouldn't have to break the poor boy's heart. We kept working and finally, I needed a smoke break.

I excused myself to step outside and Jacob headed straight for the kitchen. Brady followed me out and leaned against the wall of the garage next to me.

He looked up at me and bit his lip, "Um…can I ask you something?"

I nodded as I took a drag, "Yeah, man."

He leaned over into me and whispered, "Do you like that Edward boy?"

My eyes got wide and I damn near choked, "Why would you say that?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. The party last weekend…I couldn't help but notice that you were looking at him when you were talking to me. Were you just being nice to me to make him jealous?"

_Well, fuck…way to be an asshole, Whitlock._

I sighed, "Look, Brady…I don't wanna hurt your feelings, man. You're a really nice guy and I do like you…as a friend. Me and Edward, well, we're complicated. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I guess…"

He looked like he was about to cry.

Now I groaned and ran a hand through my hair before leaning into him and whispering, "If I wasn't taken, I would be totally into you, okay? But I'm taken. Please don't say anything to anyone. I would like to be your friend, if you still wanna be."

He sighed and mumbled, "I should have known. You're both absolutely gorgeous. It only makes sense that you're together. I won't say anything. Promise."

I smiled, "You're a good guy, Brady. Thanks."

Then he looked up and shrugged, "Well, at least I get to say I'm friends with the coolest, hottest boy in Forks."

I felt bad for the boy. I doubted he really had many friends and he did seem like a sweet guy.

_Shit, I hope Edward doesn't get mad at me for this…_

"Hey Brady? Let me talk to Edward and maybe next weekend a group of us can go out. Maybe to a movie or something. Then we can all hang out. How's that sound?"

His little face lit up as he pushed his glasses up, "Really? That would be awesome! Do you think he'll care? What if your friends don't like me? I mean, you're all so much cooler than me…"

I laughed, "I think Edward will be okay with it. He's pretty amazing. And as far as my friends go, if I say you're in…then you're in."

He beamed, "Thank you so much, Jasper. This means the world to me."

I smiled, "No problem, man. Just remember, don't say anything about me and Edward, okay?"

He nodded, "My lips are sealed."

Just then his mom yelled for him and he turned, "Well, I have to go. I hope to hear from you. Thanks again, Jasper. You're a really nice guy."

I nodded, "Anytime, man. See ya later."

I flicked out my cigarette and Jake and I went back to working on the bike.

_Man, I really hope Edward is okay with this. Surely if I just explain the situation with him, he won't care. The poor kid just needs some friends. And Edward has to know by now that he's my fuckin heart. He's the reason I wake up in the mornin and breathe in and out all day long. He's my everything._

**Remember; reviews are like hugs…and I could really use a fuckin hug right now ;)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A really big thanks goes out to Tilly Whitlock for recommending my story on her blog. I was very flattered, girl! Thank you so much for thinking of my boys! **

**Also, thank you guys so much for all the love! Real life is having its ups and downs still but I have hope and when you have hope…you have everything. (I totally stole that off a fortune cookie!)**

**Last thing, OnTheTurningAway, big, BIG thanks to you! She has nominated two of my stories for the Bellie Awards! Lessons Learned is for 'Fic That Keeps You Up Till 3am Reading' and An Imperfect Love for 'Edward Who?' I am so appreciative and thankful to you…you really helped make a crappy week a lot better!**

**And finally, to my husband, who is actually reading my slashy story just to get a peek inside my head…you rock, babe.**

**Thanks you guys! Hope you enjoy the new chapter!**

**Playlist: Crazy/Possessive by Kaci Battaglia, A Message by Coldplay**

**Edward's POV**

It had been one hell of a night and I was exhausted. Me and Jasper trudged up the stairs to our rooms to go to bed and I went behind him so I could get a nice gander at that perfect ass of his. The boy could dress. Even in jeans and a hoodie, he was without a doubt, the most beautiful person I had ever laid eyes on.

_How is it even possible for someone to be as completely gorgeous and perfect as he is? And not to mention…fuck, he's badass._

He turned around and caught me checking him out once he reached the top of the stairs. He smiled, "See something you like?"

I just smiled and brushed my way past him, "Nope. I see something I love."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him. His fingers clenched mine and his arm went around my back, pulling me closer. My other hand lay on his chest over his heart where I could feel the beats becoming faster and faster.

He smiled as I gazed into his incredible baby blue eyes, "Thank you for tonight, Edward. I know that was hard for you but you don't know how much it meant to me."

Then he leaned down and brushed his lips across mine as he whispered, "I'm so _fuckin _in love with you…"

He kissed me gently and I thought back to the feel of his lips against mine as we heard gasps and hateful comments and cat calls behind us. But in that moment, nothing else mattered but me and him and the love that we were sharing. Everyone else be damned. When Jasper was with me, the rest of the world just paled in comparison.

Maybe I'd be ready for all this sooner than I thought. I mean, yeah, it was scary and I was nervous but…there was also this incredible rush. And I knew that as long as he was with me, I could face anything.

This realization made me feel bold and free. I pushed him back against the wall and grabbed his other hand so that I had both of his hands pinned above his head as I deepened the kiss.

He moaned into my mouth and I felt him harden instantly against me. I loved that I had this affect on him. I mean, it was me…plain, weird, scrawny Edward that caused this perfect creature to come undone.

When we finally needed air, I pulled away and began nipping at his jaw. I whispered, "I am so in love with you, Jasper…"

I was breathing heavily, overcome with emotions of love and devotion, want and need, lust and desire…and his breathing matched my own.

My lips went to his ear and I whispered through ragged breaths, "You're just…God, Jay, you're _everything _to me."

I felt the prickly rise of his heated flesh against my nose as I nuzzled his neck and in an instant, his hands broke free, grabbing my face and pulling my lips to his as I felt my back crash into the wall behind me.

I moaned and my back arched as I grabbed the hem of his jeans and yanked him to me. And in my mind, one word was stuck on repeat: _More._

But then I heard, "Don't make me come up there!"

_Cockblocking Carlisle…that's your new name, dad…_

And suddenly, we were both giggling and panting all at the same time. He pulled away and smiled while his hands now pressed into the wall on either side of my face. He was laughing softly, "I swear to God…when I get you alone, Edward…I'm gonna do extremely naughty things to you."

I sighed, "Mmm…can't wait."

He leaned in for one more soft kiss and smiled as he pulled away, "Night, darlin. Sweet dreams."

I smiled back, "Night, babe. Naughty dreams."

We both chuckled and he walked down to his room and I just leaned against the wall and watched him. I swear, it was physical and psychological torture having him so damn close and not being able to just _have _him.

He turned and smiled at me as he reached the door, "Love you, Edward."

I smiled and sighed, "Love you too, Jay."

And as I slept that night, I had very naughty dreams.

He slept in late the next morning and when he finally woke up, we ate breakfast together. My mom drove me over to Bella's so we could work on our project and then took Jasper to Jacob's so he could work on his bike.

I walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. Chief Swan answered with his arms folded across his chest, "Edward."

I smiled as best I could, "Um…Chief Swan."

Just then Bella came and pushed her way past him, "Jeez dad…he's not even my boyfriend. Are you instantly suspicious of any boy that comes near me?"

In a deadly serious expression he just nodded, "Yup."

She rolled her eyes and then smiled at me, "Come on in, Edward. Angela's upstairs."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me in, leading me upstairs. Chief Swan yelled out, "Leave the door open!"

_Do parents really think that works? _

Angela was lying across Bella's bed and she smiled up at me, "Hey, Edward! Glad you came, we've got tons of work to do."

I smiled, "No problem. Let's get to it."

We spread our books out on the floor and all lied down and started preparing our Biology project. A couple of hours into it, Bella's cell rang. She grabbed it and rolled over on her back, "Ohh, it's Jake. Study break, guys."

Angela and I were chatting about nothing in particular when I heard Bella say, "Oh, Brady's there? Tell him I said hi."

My eyes snapped over at her and I accidentally broke the pencil I had in my hand.

_Son of a bitch…what the hell is he doing there? With my fucking boyfriend…oh hell no. _

And before I could stop by big stupid mouth, I blurted out, "What the hell's Brady doing there?"

Bella looked at me a little confused and Angela just smirked. Bella spoke again to Jacob, "Um…what's Brady doing right now?"

She listened for a moment and then turned to me, "Him and Jasper are in the garage."

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I tried to calm myself down.

_Keep your damn mouth shut, Edward!_

Angela reached over and put her hand on my shoulder, "You okay, Edward?"

I looked up and sucked in a sharp breath, "Uh…yeah, I'm fine."

_You can trust, Jasper. You know this. Stop acting like an idiot._

Bella said her goodbye and then turned to me, "Edward, do you have a problem with Brady or something?"

I shook my head, "Nope. No problem. Everything's cool."

_Except he wants my boyfriend. Damn it. I'd hate to have to bitch smack the boy…okay, I probably wouldn't hate it at all._

Angela smiled, "Edward, you are so tense. You really need to start dating again."

_Groan._

Bella nodded, "She's right, Edward. It's been like six months since Tanya. It's time to jump back on that horse."

Angela stood up and went to Bella's desk. She pulled out Bella's yearbook and plopped back down on the floor, "Okay. We're going to figure this out, Edward. Surely, we can find someone in this book who you'd want. It's not like you can't have your pick of the litter."

I pulled myself up into a sitting position across from her, "Seriously, I'm fine. I don't really even want to date anyone right now."

Bella grabbed the book, "Nonsense, Edward. We just have to figure out your type, that's all. I'm going to point out two people and you tell me which one you'd prefer."

I groaned out loud this time, "Bella, please….I really don't want to do this."

Angela laughed, "Edward, as one of your best friends, I'm going to say this once and once only…look at the damn pictures and choose one."

_Shit. Angela cursed, there's no way she's going to let this go now._

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "Ugh…fine."

They flipped through a few pages and finally landed on one, "Okay…let's see…Katie McDaniel or Lacy Matthews?"

I cringed, "Eww…neither. Lacy's dyed black hair is too goth and Katie…red hair just doesn't do it for me."

Angela laughed, "So, no goth chicks and no fire crotch's, got it."

Bella sighed and flipped through the pages again, "Well, you dated Tanya, so do you like blondes then?"

I nodded, "Um, yeah…I think I like blondes."

_Blonde hair, blue eyes, and oh yeah, a big thick cock…that's my type, ladies…_

"Okay, how about Stacey Morgan or Tiffany Sanders?"

I groaned, "Neither. Stacey is a complete airhead and Tiffany is too timid."

Angela smiled, "So, someone smart and outgoing."

I nodded, "Yeah."

Again, Bella flipped through the pages, "Here we go, Katrina Dixon or Mandy Lawson?"

I sighed, "Katrina's like the preachers daughter…that's just way too innocent for me. And Mandy, ugh, look at her arms and legs. There's no definition there. If the girl ever tried to do a cartwheel, her skinny legs would snap."

Angela grabbed the book from Bella, "Okay, so we need a blonde who is smart and outgoing with a little bit of a wild side and nice toned legs and arms."

I nodded, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Angela flipped through some more pages and finally laid the book open in front of me. Instinctively, I smiled when I looked at the candid shots and saw one of Jasper. He was asleep with his head cradled in his arms that were folded on top of his desk. His plump pink lips were slightly parted and one of his golden curls had fallen down over his closed eyes. He looked so peaceful. So beautiful.

Then, Angela pointed to the picture, "How about him?"

I gasped, "Angela? He's a boy."

She shrugged, "So what. He has everything you're looking for."

_This cannot be happening._

I jumped to my feet as I tugged at my hair, "That's just…just crazy! I don't like Jasper like _that_!"

Now they both stood up and Angela smiled warmly at me, "Of course you don't like Jasper…"

Then Bella giggled, "You love him, Edward."

I could feel the fire rushing through my cheeks like a damn forest fire. I began pacing, needing to find an escape but I could hear Charlie downstairs in the kitchen so I couldn't successfully leave without going past him.

I threw up my hands in frustration, "Of course I love him, he's my best friend but I'm not _in _love with him!"

Bella grabbed her photo album off her desk and flipped it open. She shoved the picture book at me and I looked at the photo. It was from the 8th grade recital where I played the piano.

I was onstage at the piano and my eyes were closed as I played. But off in the background on the side of the stage, there stood Jasper. He was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets looking at me. He had the most beautiful smile on his face as he watched me.

_This was the beginning of our 8__th__ grade year…before our 2__nd__ kiss._

Angela sighed, "It's too bad you're not in love with him because it looks like he's in love with you."

I was like a damn deer in the headlights…I needed to get out of there. And before I could stop myself, I had successfully ran to Bella's closet and shut myself in. I leaned against the wall and slumped to the ground, bringing my legs up to my chin and burying my head in my arms.

I heard a soft knock at the door and then Bella spoke, "Edward? It's okay. Angela and I don't care. You're one of our best friends and we're here for you no matter what."

Then I heard Angela sigh, "Edward, please come out of the closet."

_Why does everyone want me to come out of the damn closet?! I'm perfectly content in the god damn closet!_

_But they said they didn't care. God, please don't start crying…_

I could feel the hot tears welling up and couldn't stop the sob that escaped my lips.

A moment later, they both had taken up seats next to me and leaned their heads on my shoulders while wrapping their arms around me. I sniffled a few times and Angela whispered, "Why should you be ashamed of being in love with a beautiful boy who adores you, Edward?"

Bella nodded and whispered, "You two are more perfect together than any two people I've ever seen."

I sniffled again and whispered, "How did you know?"

Angela giggled softly, "I've had my suspicions because the way you two look at each other sometimes…well, it's just so intimate. And I was pretty positive after the party last week. I was dancing with Jasper and when he asked if I had seen you, I told him that you were off with some really good looking older guy…you should've seen his face. He was so jealous he could barely contain himself."

Then Bella giggled, "And then when we were talking to James and Jasper began playing the guitar…you were completely drawn to him. I watched as he sang directly to you the entire time. It was like he was pouring his soul out to you."

Angela sighed, "It was so romantic. Who would've ever thought that Jasper was the romantic type."

I couldn't help but smile as I whispered, "He is an old fashioned romantic. He took me on my very first real date. He decorated the gazebo in the backyard and made dinner for us. Then he laid out a blanket in the grass and sang for me. It was beautiful."

_I can't believe I'm actually talking about this…and it feels really good…not nearly as scary as I thought._

Bella laughed, "God, my first date with Jake…total disaster. He took me to this Italian restaurant and first, I knocked my Coke on him and then I went to clean it and knocked his spaghetti in his lap…_then_, I jumped up to help him, slipped on the spaghetti that now covered the floor and took us both down. I was so afraid he was going to just storm out and leave me there…but instead, he started laughing and gave me my first kiss. That's when I knew he was the one. He always brings a change of clothes with him every time we go out now."

Now, Angela and I joined in her laughter. Angela snorted, "You two have it lucky! My first date with Ben…Star Wars convention in Seattle!"

We all laughed and I wiped the tears from my eyes. Once the laughter subsided, I sighed, "Thanks you guys…you don't know how good it feels to be able to talk about him. I've wanted to for so long."

Bella smiled, "So, how long have you been…well, are you boyfriends?"

I nodded, "Um…yeah. We've officially been together since June 29th."

Angela got to her feet and grabbed my hand while Bella grabbed the other one and they pulled me up.

We all laid back down on the floor in front of our books and Angela whispered, "So, Edward…how far have you guys went?"

I gasped and whispered, "Angela? What the hell?"

Bella giggled and whispered, "C'mon, Edward! We want details! I know all about Angela and Ben's sex life and she knows about mine."

I took a sharp breath, "Girls talk about that stuff?"

Angela rolled her eyes, "Of course we do! Me and Ben are at the blow job/eating out stage…"

And Bella whispered, "I've jacked Jake off a few times and he's fingered me twice…"

My mind was reeling! These two sweet innocent girls were horndogs! They were just as bad as the boys!

"Uh…um…blowjob stage, I guess."

Angela smiled, "Where's the kinkiest place you've ever done it? I gave Ben a blow job on the slide at the park one night."

Bella giggled, "Jake fingered me at the movie theater."

I couldn't help but laugh. Then I thought for a second, "Well…we gave each other hand jobs in my dad's Vanquish while it was parked in the garage…and um…we did that again last night in the back stairwell of a move theater."

They both doubled over in laughter and Angela gasped, "Who would've thought you were so kinky, Edward!"

I just smiled, "Apparently, it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for."

We chatted a little more and eventually, my dad came to pick me up. The girls swore they would keep everything to themselves and I trusted that they would. I wasn't really worried about telling Jasper because he seemed pretty okay with people knowing. I had to admit, it felt really good to know my friend's were okay with it.

When we got to Jacob's house, my dad pulled up the drive and parked the car, "I need to run in and talk to Billy for a few minutes, Edward. Go see if Jasper's ready to go."

I nodded and walked into the garage. I took a sharp breath when I saw him. His faded blue jeans hung low on his hips and he was wearing a wife beater. The garage was heated so he must've taken his sweatshirt off. He was covered in dirt and oil and his hair was all sweaty. He was sitting on the ground, tightening something up on his bike with a wrench in his hand.

_Don't get a boner…don't get a boner…don't get a…_

"Oh, hey Edward. I didn't hear you come in," he smiled up at me and I could feel my cheeks begin to burn.

He looked at me curiously and I managed to spit out, "Uh…um…hi."

Jacob stood up and walked over to his workbench grabbing a hand towel. "Where's your dad at Edward?"

I tried to break my gaze from Jasper and was able to look over at Jake for a moment, "Um…he's in the house with your dad. He'll be done in a few minutes."

Jasper got up and walked over to the sink. He squirted some orange goop in his hands and started washing them.

I watched as he grabbed his sweatshirt and threw it on…causing his damn wife beater to rise a bit and revealing that sexy little V that dipped underneath the waist band of his jeans.

_Okay…just pull your shirt down to cover the boner…_

We all talked for a few minutes before stepping out of the garage just as another car pulled up behind ours. Jacob excused himself to go to the bathroom and he left and went inside the house. I watched as a woman got out of one side of the car and…_Brady _got out of the other.

_Mother fucker._

He came running over to us, "Hey guys, my mom forgot some paperwork."

He smiled over at me, "Um, hi Edward."

I nodded, "Hi there…um, what was your name again, I forgot?"

Jasper looked over at me confused and Brady gulped, "It's Brady."

I nodded again but said nothing. He took a breath and looked up at Jasper, "So, um…how's the bike going?"

Jasper smiled, "Good. We're almost done."

I watched as Brady eyed up my man. I could feel the anger starting to bubble and rise in me as his eyes lingered far too long.

Jasper turned, "Oh, I forgot my phone in the garage…be right back." He started walking back to the garage and Brady's eyes drifted to his ass as he walked away.

_What. The. Fuck._

I stepped into his line of sight and scowled as I whispered harshly, "Let's get one thing clear right now, Bobby…that boy, he's mine. Keep your eyes to yourself or I will fuck you up. Got it?"

Brady's eyes went wide as he stammered, "Uh…yeah…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…"

I stepped away as his eyes went to the ground. Jasper came walking back out of the garage and he smiled at me, "So, did you boys play nice while I was gone?"

I shrugged and Brady shoved his hands in his pocket and still looked at the ground. Jasper looked over at him, confused again, "Brady? Everything okay?"

He nodded still not looking up, "Um…I have to go."

He started to walk away when Jasper grabbed his arm, "Hey, what's wrong with you, man?"

Brady stammered again while looking everywhere but at him, "Uh…nothing Jasper…everything's fine."

Jasper sighed, "So why won't you look at me?"

Brady blurted out, "Edward's going to kick my ass if I look at you!"

Jasper furrowed his brow and looked over at me, "Edward, did you…"

But all I heard was: _Mine!_

Before I even knew what I was doing, I shoved Brady away from him and grabbed Jay by his sweatshirt, bringing his lips to mine in a fierce kiss.

When he gasped, I plunged my tongue into his mouth and fisted his hair between my fingers. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist and pulled me closer to him showing no signs of resistance. Then I heard Jacob, "Damn it, I owe Bella $20 bucks."

Then I heard a few more gasps and I broke away from the kiss wide eyed and breathing heavily as I looked around and saw Billy, Brady's mom, Jacob, and my dad standing there.

Jasper was panting too and Brady looked shocked.

My dad cocked his head to the side with a look of amusement, "You attacked him in public, Edward? Well, that's new. Hmm…maybe we should go now."

Brady's mom's mouth hung open and she had a look of disgust on her face. Jacob was howling in laughter and Billy was snickering as he tried not to laugh.

Brady's mom came over and jerked him by the arm, "Let's get out of here son, before those fags try to turn you."

She dragged him off to the car and my dad suddenly didn't look so amused, "Hey, don't you speak to my boys that way. Homosexuality is not an illness…it's not something you can catch. It's impossible to turn someone gay…either you are or you aren't but no one can make you gay."

She shoved Brady into the car and scowled at my dad, "You may be okay with your boys being deviant sinners and turning away from God but my son will have nothing to do with this immorality!"

Now Billy spoke up, "Now, Diane, just calm down…they're good boys…"

Then Brady stepped out of the car with a horrified look on his face, "Mom! Stop! Do you really think that way? I've told you that I'm gay!"

She turned to him, "What the hell are you talking about?! You are perfectly normal, Brady! You are not a damn faggot!"

I watched as his eyes welled up and he began to sob, "But I am."

She shoved him back in the car, "Keep your mouth shut, Brady! You are not gay and we are done discussing this!"

She jumped in her car and they took off like a bat out of hell down the drive.

Billy sighed, "I'm sorry, Carlisle. She's a stubborn one. Hell, I've known that kid's gay since he was nine but she just won't accept it."

Dad just shrugged, "It's okay, Billy. I just feel bad for that boy."

Jacob walked up and put his hand on my arm, "Don't worry about it, Edward. I don't care…I'm cool with gays and stuff."

He snickered and Jasper sighed, "Jeez Edward…what the hell was that all about?"

My heart was racing and I could feel my eyes starting to burn, "I'm so sorry…I just…God, I saw the way he looked at you and then you had your hand on him and…I just lost it. I'm so sorry."

My dad walked by, "Come on, boys. Let's get you home."

We both nodded and said good-bye. I apologized to Billy and he just smiled and laughed it off.

The car ride home was quiet and filled with tension.

_I just outed us to Jacob and his dad and Brady and his damn mom. I made the poor boy cry…God, I'm a jerk…_

When we got home my dad just dropped us off because he had to go to work. My mom was out shopping so Jasper and I were alone.

Once we walked in the house, I turned to Jasper, "I'm sorry for acting like that."

He folded his arms across his chest and furrowed his brows, "Don't you trust me?"

I looked up at him as a few tears slid down my cheek, "Of course I trust you…it's just that…well, you wouldn't have to sneak around with him. And I know you think he's cute…"

He sighed, "So, what? I think Jake's cute too but you don't threaten him. It's not like I minded you kissing me, Edward but I didn't like where it came from."

My stomach was knotted and I tugged at my hair nervously, "I don't know, Jasper! I just feel like…I mean, we've been together for almost six months…what if you get bored?"

He shook his head in confusion, "Bored?"

I was pacing at this point, "Yeah! I mean, damn Jasper, you used to jump from girl to girl…"

His mouth dropped open and he looked hurt as he whispered, "Are you callin me a whore?"

I shook my head, "No! That's not what I meant!"

Now he was getting angry, "Well, what exactly do you mean, Edward?! You think just cuz I _can _have the boy, that I will?! You think that I can't possibly be faithful if an opportunity comes up for me to get some strange?! What the fuck do you mean?!"

I flopped down on the couch and held my head in my hands. I couldn't help the tears that fell as I whispered, "I just don't understand why you want me."

I heard him let out a breath before he grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet, "C'mon. We're settling this once and for fuckin all."

He pulled me upstairs to his bedroom and shut the door. He pulled my back to his chest and faced us to look in the full length mirror on the back of the door.

"Arms up."

I lifted my arms as he said and he quickly yanked my shirt over my head and dropped it to the floor. He was standing behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

He leaned into my ear and whispered, "Look at yourself, Edward. _Really _look. You are not some scrawny, weird, little kid. You are the most gorgeous boy that I've ever seen."

He began running his hands softly up and down my stomach, "Look at your body, Edward. It's perfect. You see all these cuts of your muscles? You are so fuckin sexy I can barely stand it…I think you can feel what you do to me…"

With that he pressed himself into me and I felt his hard cock twitch against my ass. I couldn't help the blush that came to my cheeks. He smiled over my shoulder, "You see that? That fuckin blush is the most adorable thing I've ever seen. As far as looks go…you're fuckin perfect, Edward. You're gorgeous and beautiful and sexy as fuckin hell and absolutely adorable all at the same time. You're _everything _I could ever want."

Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the bed. He sat me down on the edge and he knelt on the floor between my legs. His hands were on my hips and I could feel his warm breath against my stomach as he looked up at me and spoke, "You wanna know why I jumped from girl to girl? I was just tryin to find one that felt right. I just did that cuz I thought it was what I was supposed to do and I was scared half to death cuz I didn't ever really _want _any of them. And then I kissed you and found what I wanted. God, Edward…I fantasized about that damn kiss for a year and a half. There were so many times when I just wanted to kiss you again cuz it felt right with you and not just cuz you're a boy…cuz you're you, Edward."

I watched as his eyes became glossy and his voice strained, "You were my first and only crush. I didn't realize it at the time but I wanted you so bad and I was so scared that I was gonna fuck you up cuz I was _so fuckin _in love with you. You wanna know why I'm in love with you?"

I simply nodded as he poured his soul out to me.

"You looked at me like I was Superman, Edward. You made me feel special and important. I may have beaten up a few guys for you but you fuckin saved me, darlin. If anyone here is an angel…it's you. Do you remember my first winter here in the seventh grade?"

I nodded again and whispered, "Yeah."

He continued to look up at me with shimmering blue eyes, "I didn't show up for school one day and what did you do?"

I smiled a little at the memory, "I ditched and walked to your house to make sure you were okay."

He smiled back, "Yeah, and I was sick. I had a real bad cold and I was at the house all alone. What did you do?"

I whispered, "I walked to the corner market and bought you some medicine…and tea…and the stuff to make chicken noodle soup from scratch."

He laughed softly, "Yeah, Edward. And after you gave me some medicine, made me some tea and chicken noodle soup, you rubbed my shoulders cuz my back hurt from lyin on that damn mattress. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up four hours later…you were still lyin next to me. For four hours you laid by my side while I slept in a room with no TV, no books to read, and no radio. You laid on a damn mattress on the floor and took care of me when you coulda been at home in your warm, comfy house having fun. That was the sweetest fuckin thing anyone had ever done for me."

I smiled down at him and he smiled back.

Then he reached up and brushed his rough palm across my cheek, "Do you remember the first time you met my mama?"

I leaned into his palm and sighed at the horrid memory.

He honey voice whispered thick with emotion, "We were lying on my mattress, doing homework cuz you were forcin me to study for that Lit test on Romeo and Juliet. Remember, I asked you to read it to me cuz I said I didn't understand it?"

I smiled and nodded.

He laughed, "I understood every fuckin word, Edward…I just wanted an excuse to hear _your _voice reading those words…you made it so much…prettier."

I blushed and he continued, "Anyway, my mama came in drunk and high as fuck. She started screaming at me, telling me that studying wasn't gonna do me no good cuz I was just plain stupid. She was screaming at how useless I was and how I was a worthless bastard just like my dad. And then she looked at you and asked you why a high class kid like you would wanna hang out with a loser like me? Do you remember what you said?"

I cupped his chin and brushed my thumbs across his cheeks as I looked into the stormy blue eyes, "I said, 'Jasper is the most amazing person I've ever known and if you're too stupid to see that, then you're the worthless loser who's going to miss out on knowing how incredible he is."

He smiled and leaned into my palms now, "You stood up for me, Edward…against my crazy mom. You were my Superman. You grabbed my backpack and our books and you said that I was going to stay the night at your place. I was on cloud nine that night, man. Don't you realize…I believed my mama for all those years. I believed I was trash until you came along. You saw me differently and all I ever wanted to do was live up to the way you saw me. You made me wanna be better than I was…better than I ever thought I could be. I'm gonna make something of myself, Edward. I'm gonna be a good man one day and that's all because of you."

I leaned down and brushed my lips against his soft ones and whispered, "You're already a good man, Jasper."

His eyes closed and his lips moved gently against mine. And then his silky tongue slid out and I tasted the sweetest of honey with a low groan for more. His breathing quickly accelerated as I felt him stand and pull me with him, never unlocking our tongues from their lovers embrace.

My hands immediately went to the bottom of his sweatshirt and quickly pulled it over his head, breaking our kiss for only a moment. Then his hands reached behind him and yanked the wife beater off before returning to my awaiting lips with a ferocity.

My fingers were twined in his golden curls and he tugged at my bronze locks with an fervent urgency. He broke away from the kiss with ragged breaths and lidded midnight eyes as he whispered, "When's your mom gonna get home?"

I answered back in equally short breaths and lidded lust-filled eyes, "She's shopping with her sister…we have a couple hours."

He smiled, "Good." And with that, his arms were around my waist and his hands slipped underneath my ass as I felt my feet leave the ground. My arms tightened around his neck and I gasped as my legs wrapped around his waist.

With one hand, he yanked the blankets down and threw me in his bed, falling on top of me as we both began laughing. The laughter was soon replaced as his lips found the juncture of my shoulder and neck and he began nipping and sucking the tender flesh.

My head lulled back with a deep moan and my hands gripped the strong muscles of his back sliding up and down the strong contours of his body. My legs were still wrapped around his waist and he began softly rolling his hips into mine…causing that lovely thick cock of his to grind knowingly into mine.

Already submerged in a love and lust filled fog, when he pulled away, I whimpered. He smiled and looked down upon me lovingly and hungrily as his hands began unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans.

I lifted my hips so he could slide them and my boxer briefs down my legs, dropping them to the floor. I was already thick and throbbing as he crawled back up my body and caught my lips in a searing kiss. His hands tenderly brushed along my arms and hips and back. I broke free from his intoxicating lips and whispered, "I need to feel all of you, Jay. Lose the clothes, hot boy."

He smiled and lifted up to his knees. As he gazed down at me through thick full lashes and hazy lidded eyes, his hands began undoing his jeans…_slowly_. With a wicked smile on his angelic face, the boy delivered his exquisite torture with shear perfection. And the one word that seems to be stuck on repeat in my mind whenever he is close to me…_more._

And I was finally rewarded as he slid his jeans down over his strong hips, revealing _my _hidden treasure. Much like him, it was strong and rigid and hard, with soft satin skin but on the inside…the sweetest of honey was my gift. I quickly sat up and took him into my mouth, relishing in the feel of him between my lips and dripping on my tongue. I lavished him with love as his hands gripped his calves and his head lulled back with a beautiful moan from his pink, plump lips.

I gripped his length with my hand as I teased and licked the sweet salty slit that was weeping with joy. My name fell from his lips like a heavenly prayer and I had to look up to gaze into my lover's eyes to ensure the validity of what _I_ was doing to _him_.

And somewhere between the look in his soft blue eyes and the whisper of my name dripping from his tongue and the throbbing vein underneath my tongue…I got it.

_He feels the same way about me as I do him. He loves me with everything he has. I was his Superman once…maybe I still am. This is it. This is real. This is love._

And passion and devotion overtook me as I raised quickly to my knees and pulled his lips to mine, urgent and wanton but completely filled with love.

Our hands were locked in each other's hair as we willed our bodies to come even closer…the need to just crawl inside each other and stay where we were safe and wanted and loved was more intense than anything I had ever known.

We kissed as our naked bodies fit together so perfectly and all I kept thinking was…more.

I pulled away and slipped underneath the blankets, pulling him with me. We kissed forever, naked in his bed…and being with him like this…this was home.

His body lay on mine, two simple pieces of a broken puzzle that, when connected, was absolutely brilliant and complex. And I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything. I broke from the kiss and whispered in a soft moan, "Make love to me, Jay. Please baby…please…"

His eyes stared deep into mine and I could see the internal battle he fought as he whispered through ragged breaths, "I want to Edward…so fuckin bad…please don't tempt me…"

I answered back with pleas of my own, "It's not temptation…it's fruition. It's going to happen, Jasper…why not now?"

He rolled over on his back and held his hands over his face as he groaned, "Edward…I want to…I'm not ready…"

I rolled to my side and pulled his hands from his face, "But you've done this before…"

His hands went to my face as he whispered, "No, Edward…I've _fucked _ten ways to Sunday…but I've never made love…I've never cared so much…I'm fuckin terrified, darlin…please just…I need time…"

I leaned into his palm and whispered, "Why are you terrified? You're not scared of anything, Jay."

He whispered back, "I'm scared of messing things up with you, Edward. I'm scared I'm gonna hurt you…I'm scared it won't be good for you…I'm scared of a lot things."

And I didn't want to push him, "Jay, I know it's going to hurt the first time, but I know that you'll make it special and wonderful…just like you've made all my first times…but I understand, babe."

He smiled as he pulled me close, "I just don't want our first time at this to be rushed cuz your mom's gonna be home soon. When we make love for the first time, I wanna make sure that I can be with you all night and wake up with you still in my arms. This is the last 'first' time I've got, Edward…I need it to be right. Besides, our first time together, _you're_ gonna make love to _me_…and I'm not ready yet, baby."

I smiled back, that crooked little smile that I know he loves, "You're right, Jasper. We should wait. I love you and I want it to be right too. In fact, I've been thinking about it…a lot. And I have a request."

He looked at me curiously, "Anything, darlin."

I held his hand in mine as our fingers clenched, "When we make love…I want to feel you and only you. I don't want to use condoms."

He took in a sharp breath and I continued, "It will be safe, Jay. I'm a virgin and you've always used condoms…"

He shook his head, "No, I haven't."

I was confused, "But I thought…you told Maria that you wouldn't have sex without a condom."

He sighed, "Yeah, Edward…the last few years I've always used them but I started having sex when I was twelve, man. I didn't even really know about condoms the first time I fucked Sarah. I've fucked a few girls without them…I'm sorry…I didn't…I mean, I wasn't…"

He was frustrated now and I didn't want him to feel that way, "It's okay, Jasper…I understand. You weren't as lucky as I am to have someone as special and wonderful as you guiding your first time."

He let out a sigh of relief and smiled, "Edward…it's been two years since I was with anyone without a condom…I'll go to the doctor and get tested for everything. As long as I come back okay, we'll make love without them."

I smiled, "Really?"

He laughed softly and pulled me closer, "Yeah. I wanna feel you too, Edward…in fact," now he smiled that wicked little smile that makes my whole body tingle, "Did I ever tell you what my favorite number was?"

I cocked an eyebrow with curiosity, "Um…no."

He reached down and grabbed my rigid shaft, "69...now, get that pretty cock of yours up here, darlin."

I laughed softly and positioned myself above him as I whispered, "You really think it's pretty?"

Now he smiled that dimpled smile at me, "Fuckin beautiful, Edward."

I leaned down and took his cock into my mouth again and a moment later, I felt his warm wet mouth envelop me.

_Oh my god…_

Now this was the best of both worlds…my body was in ecstasy overload as he worked his soft lips and slick tongue over me while I tasted his sticky sweetness and satin over steel.

He moaned around me as I carefully rolled my hips and made love to his mouth. After a few minutes, I pulled my hips away and he whimpered…I giggled.

He smacked my ass and I yelped. He laughed, "Don't fuckin tease me, Edward…you ain't gonna win…"

I laughed now as much as I could with his big thick cock halfway down my throat. I gently pushed my cock in and out of his eager waiting mouth a few times and pulled away again.

He laughed, "Okay…you're asking for it, Edward."

I lifted my head and looked back at him with a crooked smile as I wiggled my ass, "I'm begging for it, Jay."

And before I knew what was happening, he flipped me over and my back was now against the bed. He now straddled my chest and held my arms down with his knees. He held his cock in his hand, above my eager lips and laughed, "I warned you."

I whimpered as I tried to raise my head to lick his shaft but he pulled it away, "Uh uh uh…Edward. You wanna taste?"

I groaned, "Yes…please, Jay…"

He smiled, "Are you gonna play nice?"

I nodded, "I promise…I'll be good."

He smirked as he brought his weeping head down and brushed it across my lips. The taste of salty sticky honey clung to my lips and I wanted more. I wrapped my lips around the head and he abruptly pulled it away.

I growled, "Stop teasing me!"

Now he really laughed, "What? It was funny when you were teasing me…not so funny now, huh?"

He was off his guard and I took my chance, "Oh, that's it, Whitlock…this is war…"

I quickly jumped up and caught him off guard as he fell against the bed and I quickly straddled him, nudging his legs open and holding his hands to the bed on either side of his beautiful face. I felt his cock twitch excitedly as I now took control.

I smiled down with my wicked little grin as I grinded my hips slow but rough against his, "You want to cum, Jay?"

His hooded eyes sparkled as he gazed at me, "Yeah, baby…make me cum."

I leaned down and whispered, "Beg."

He moaned softly, "Please, Edward…please, darlin…I need you, baby…please make me cum."

My lips gently kissed underneath his ear and he trembled beneath me. I whispered, "I love you, Jasper."

He moaned louder this time as he whispered breathless and shaking, "I love you too, Edward."

I took his lips to mine and released his hands so they could leave their trail of fire along my skin. They traveled along the contours of my back and shoulders before making their way down to my ass and squeezing with both hands.

I broke from the kiss with a smile, "I really want to taste you, Jay…do you want to try the 69 thing again…no more teasing, I promise."

He smiles back, "Yeah…on our sides this time."

I rolled off of him and moved down the bed to his awaiting love as I brought mine up to him. He took me into his mouth again and I moaned softly as I took him into mine. The sensation was powerful and erotic as I tasted him and he tasted me.

He rolled my sack softly in his hands and I mimicked him. His warm wet mouth was Heaven around me and we both moaned unabashedly around one another as we brought each other to ecstasy.

I could feel the wonderful tension build in the pit of my stomach and travel down until I erupted deep within his throat. He drank me in, gently and lovingly and not much later, I felt his sack tighten in my hand and he spilled his sweet nectar into my wanton mouth.

I relished in the taste, not sure when I would get the opportunity to taste him again. We both rolled over on our backs, weak and satisfied. He looked down at me and smiled, "C'mere, baby."

I crawled up his body and laid my head on his chest. The familiar sound of his strong heart beating was the most beautiful melody I ever recall hearing.

We laid there for awhile, just talking and kissing before we heard my mom yell, "Hey boys! Come help me get the groceries out of the car!"

That brought us back to reality as we jumped from the bed and scrambled to get dressed quickly. Looking completely guilty with sweaty bodies and matted, crazy hair, we trudged downstairs and helped my mom bring the groceries in.

Once they were put away, she smirked at us, "Hey Edward, your shirt is inside out and Jasper, yours is on backwards."

_Busted._

We both turned red as we hurriedly fixed our shirts. She just shook her head and laughed, "When the cat's away…"

_The mice will play. Thank God my parents are so cool._

We both headed up the stairs to take showers but I stopped him before he went in his room, "Hey Jay? Do you still have Brady's phone number?"

He pulled out his phone, "Yeah, man, I'll erase it…"

I shook my head, "No, don't. Can I have it? I need to call and apologize."

He beamed at me, "Sure, Edward."

He gave me the number then wrapped his arms around me once more, "You're really amazing, darlin. Thank you."

I just smiled and kissed his sweet lips before walking into my room.

I dialed the number and prayed his psycho mom didn't answer.

"Hello?"

I cleared my throat, "Um…Brady?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"Um…it's Edward Cullen…"

He immediately went frantic, "God, I'm so sorry, Edward…please don't kick my ass, I'll never talk to him again…"

"Brady, calm down, man. Breathe. I'm not mad. I'm actually calling to apologize. It was very immature of me to threaten you like that. I don't know what got into me…I'm just very…protective of Jasper."

He laughed now, "Who can blame you, Edward? I'd be protective too. I'm not going to lie, I think Jasper's gorgeous…but I really just want to be his friend. He was nice to me…most people aren't. Hell, if you were nice to me at the party, I'd totally be crushing on you right now…"

I laughed now, "Really?"

He chuckled again, "Yeah…God, Edward…you're the most beautiful boy I've ever seen. I saw you at the recital last year when you were playing piano…you were my first crush."

Then he went frantic again, "Crap! Now, Jasper's going to kick my ass…"

I shook my head and laughed again, "No one's going to kick your ass, Brady. I'm sorry I was so jealous."

He sighed, "You were jealous? Of me? Why? I'm a freak, Edward. No one would want me."

I sat on my bed as the familiar words stung me, "Brady, that's not true. You're not a freak at all. You're actually very cute and you seem really sweet. I can see why Jasper wanted to be your friend."

"You think I'm cute?"

I chuckled a little now, "Yeah. Look, Brady…it wasn't too long ago that I felt the exact same way you feel. Jasper befriended me and I honestly had no idea why. But even before we became something more, just having him as a friend was everything to me. Going through those feelings I was having was so hard…but I had Jasper to help me through. Now, you have Jasper and I to help you through. I would like to be your friend, if you'd like to be?"

He let out a sigh of relief, "Really? That's so nice of you, Edward. Jasper was right…you are pretty amazing."

"Thank you, Brady. So, is everything okay with you and your mom?"

He sounded sad as he spoke, "No. Nothing's ever been okay with us. I mean, honestly, she knows I'm gay. I've never been that secretive about it…I mean, I used to watch Grease as a kid and I totally always sung Olivia Newton-John's part instead of John Travolta…"

I laughed, "Well, she did have the best parts."

Now he laughed, "Yeah."

Then he was quiet again, "I know I'm a disappointment to my parents…my dad even gave me his stack of Playboy's to try and turn me back normal. I just can't help who I like."

I sighed, "I'm sorry, man. That must be really hard. Well, if you ever need to talk, please call me or even Jasper. I promise not to get jealous again. And if your parents would approve, maybe we can hang out sometime."

"Thank you, Edward. This really means the world to me."

"You're welcome, Brady. Well, I have to go take a shower now…"

He groaned, "Um…if you could maybe not mention showering…that would be great."

My cheeks turned red and I laughed, "Um…sorry. Well, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay, Edward. Thanks again. You're just as cool as I always thought you were."

My cheeks burned hotter, "You're welcome. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone feeling pretty good about myself.

_I was Jasper's first crush…Brady's first crush…and Brady thinks I'm cool…life can be pretty damn amazing sometimes._


	18. Chapter 18

**FYI - I put the link to my youtube on my profile page. A lot of the songs I use are in my favorites.**

**I have to give a big thanks to philomena for sketching a very cute picture of my boys. It's my new avatar so take a look. Anyway, it's awesome, girl, and I really appreciate you taking the time to do it.**

**Things will start moving along pretty soon, guys, but I wanna make sure all my characters are flushed out enough before I move along. And I tend to be a little like Eddie and become a little verbose. So, yeah, this story may end up being pretty damn long. Hopefully, you guys are cool with that and will stick with me. Thanks for reading!**

**Jasper's POV**

As the hot water sprayed over me, I had to laugh at the events of this afternoon.

_It may be wrong of me but jealous Edward…so fuckin hot. I can't believe he kissed me like that…in front of everyone. And I'm really proud of him for manning up and callin Brady. Edward's the shit. I hope he finally gets it now…I hope he finally understands that I ain't goin nowhere._

Once I got outta the shower and threw on some jeans and a t-shirt, I heard a knock on my door before it opened.

He stuck his head in and I smiled at the damp bronze haired boy smiling back at me.

"Hey Jay, want to play Call of Duty?"

I nodded, "Sure, man."

We went downstairs and copped seats on the floor as we started playing video games.

"So, Eddie? How'd the talk with Brady go?"

He smiled, "He liked me first."

I laughed, "Huh? What are you talkin about?"

He proceeded to tell me the conversation they had and I smiled, "See, Edward? Told ya you were hot."

He shook his head and laughed, "I'm cool too."

I nudged into him, "You're very cool, Edward. I mean, you're dating me…you gotta be pretty cool."

We played around for a little while and he told me about the conversation he had with Bella and Angela. I was ecstatic that he told someone he trusted. He had made a lot of really big steps this weekend. We talked a little more and decided it would still be best if we didn't come out at school yet but it was a big relief that some of our closest friends knew and were cool with it.

The night passed easily and the next morning I was awoken by my cell.

I answered groggily, "What?"

"Shopping, that's what. I'll be at your house in half an hour, Jazzy. See you then."

I looked warily at the clock…8:30am.

_Why the fuck did I agree to this again?_

I groaned, "Okay, Ali. I'll be ready."

I quickly showered and threw on some jeans and a dark blue pullover. I heard the doorbell ring and I ran down the stairs and pulled it open.

Alice smiled up at me and held out a cup of coffee, "Here you go, sleepyhead. Let's get a move on."

I grabbed my jacket and trudged out the door. I gasped when I saw her little yellow Porsche…it was very Alice.

"Fuck, Ali! That's a god damn Porsche!"

She giggled and pulled on her sunglasses, "Yes it is. Her name is Sasha and she's my baby so be careful with that coffee."

_You gotta love a woman that names her car…_

I jumped in and admired it a bit as we pulled off onto the road. It didn't escape my attention that Alice's outfit matched her car.

I found hanging out with Alice very easy and natural. It was impossible not to like the girl. She was like a little crazy crack addicted pixie…what's there not to like. I figured shopping with her would be an adventure. I actually loved to shop. My mama never took me school clothes shopping so when I was old enough to make my own money, it was one of the things I really enjoyed. Before I could buy my own clothes, life was a nightmare cuz I wore whatever my mama got me which was always second hand and dorky as all hell. So, to be able to buy clothes that made me look and feel good, was really fun for me. It may be girlie and all…but what the fuck ever.

I had a few hundred bucks left from my summer work but figured I'd have to get some sorta job pretty soon. Edward and I would be getting our driver's licenses in the summer and although Carlisle had tried to give me an allowance on several occasions…I just couldn't take his money. I wanted to earn my own…take care of myself as much as possible. And I knew that insurance on my bike, would be pretty damn expensive.

We made our way to the mall in Seattle in record time. We wandered in and out of a few stores and soon enough we were at the food court having lunch. She smiled over at me as she scarfed down her burrito, "You really should go back and buy those dark jeans, Jazzy. Your ass looked incredible in them."

I sighed and really hoped that all of the little compliments she had been throwin at me all day didn't mean anything. I really liked her and liked hanging out with her. She'd probably be pissed when I tell her that I'm not interested in her like that…but I had to tell her.

"Um…Ali? I really like you…but only as a friend."

Much to my surprise, she started laughing hysterically. Once the laughter died down, she dabbed her eyes with her napkin and smiled at me, "I like you as a friend too, Jazzy. You're totally not my type."

I smirked, "I'm everyone's type, darlin."

She just smirked back, "Well…not everyone. Look, Jay….I'm not even really sure what my type is. I love hanging out with you and everything but…"

She sighed and seemed to look a little sad. I reached across the table and pulled her little hand in mine, "What's wrong, Ali?"

She hung her down for a moment as she whispered, "Can you keep a secret?"

I squeezed her hand a little and whispered, "Yeah, darlin. You can tell me anything."

She leaned over to me and in a hushed whisper she asks, "You and Edward…you're together, right? Like a couple?"

At this point in the weekend, I just sigh and nod, "Yeah. Please don't tell anyone."

She gives me a weak smile, "I won't…I just thought that maybe…I had an ulterior motive for asking you to come with me today. I thought maybe you could help me."

I nod, "Anything, Ali. Tell me and I'll do anything I can to help."

She sighs, "I'm so confused. Rosalie and I…we started fooling around when we were twelve, ya know? I'm not in love with her and she's not in love with me or anything but it just…it always felt comfortable. We fooled around for years until she turned sixteen and got her first real boyfriend. She said she didn't feel right about what we were doing anymore and honestly, I was okay with that. But now I'm confused because…I really liked being with her. I've been with a couple of guys that I really liked too but I still can't deny that I really like being with girls too. I don't know if I could ever, like, date a girl…but I like the physical part."

I smiled a little as I leaned closer to her, "Alice, it sounds like you're tryin to define something that maybe you ain't ready to define yet. You've got plenty of time to figure it out. Maybe you're bi or something…have you been with any other girls?"

She shook her head, "No. You were with girls before you and Edward got together…did you like it? Are you bi?"

I chuckled softly and shook my head, "No, darlin. I'm into guys…well, Edward. I was only pretending to like the girls I was with and at the end of it all…I really hated the physical part of being with them. Don't worry your pretty little head over it, darlin. You'll figure it out when you're ready. Have you talked to Rose?"

She nods, "Yeah…I mean, I tell her everything. She's still my best friend in the whole world. She understands and supports me no matter what. She just said that when she started dating boys…she knew that was what she wanted. But I just don't know."

And I just have to ask, "Ali? How did ya know about me and Edward?"

She rolls her eyes and lets out a bark of laughter, "Please, Jazzy…it's so obvious…well, to anyone who really knows you two well. I mean, when Edward and I were watching you play football…he had to keep adjusting himself. It was really funny because he tried to be nonchalant about it…but he was so totally turned on by you out there. And I see the way you look at him…it's in your eyes, Jasper. They way you two look at each other…it's so…deep. Don't worry though, I'm pretty sure outsiders are clueless…I mean, after all…you're Jasper fucking Whitlock…"

Now I start laughing. The rest of the day went really well. I had a lot of fun with Alice but I was tired as hell when I got home. At this point, the only ones that didn't know for sure were Rosalie, Ben, Embry, Seth, and Paul. I was pretty sure than Ben and Rosalie would be okay with it if they found out. Embry, Seth, and Paul…I wasn't so sure but the boys hung out like a pack of damn wolves with Jake as their Alpha so if he was cool with it, chances are they would go along with it too.

Edward and I hung out later that night and I told him that Alice also knew about us. He was starting to get a little more nervous about the whole situation…I mean, Hell, almost all of our close friends knew now. And although we both trusted them…all it would take is one little slip to push us out of the proverbial closet. I was fine with that cuz I knew without a doubt that no fuckin high school kid could break me…Edward, however, he was more delicate and could be easily damaged by being pushed before he was ready. That made me nervous.

I fell into a restless sleep and it was the sound of the shower running at 2 in the mornin that woke me up.

_Fuck._

I drew back the covers and ran down to Edward's room. My heart was beating like a mad man as I walked into his bathroom. The shower was running but Edward was kneeling over the bathtub, his head was on his arms that were resting on the edge. He hadn't gotten in. He was shaking and whispering to himself, fighting against the urge to get into the tub. He was trying to convince himself that it was just a dream.

I spoke quietly to try and not frighten him further, "Edward?"

But he jumped anyway and looked up at me with bright, bloodshot eyes. They were puffy and red and so was his little nose. My heart was breaking all over again.

"My ang…I mean, Jasper…I'm okay…I'm okay…" he was pleading with me to believe him as he whispered that he was okay over and over again in short, heavy breaths.

I knelt down next to him and he launched himself into my arms. I held him tight and rocked him back and forth until the whispers of 'I'm okay' ceased.

After a few minutes, he pulled away sheepishly and muttered, "I'm sorry."

I ran my fingers down his cheek and smiled, "Why are you sorry? You didn't get in, Edward…I'm real proud of you, darlin."

He smiled now and sniffled, "Really?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I saw you fightin against it, babe. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you."

He sighed, "I'm taking the medicine…I'm doing the counseling…why is this still happening? Do you think it will ever stop?"

I pulled him back into my arms and ran my fingers through his hair as he cuddled to my chest, "These nightmares aren't gonna go away overnight but I think in time things will lessen some. It's just gonna take time, Edward. I'd give anything to take it all away from you."

He was shivering a bit so I stood and pulled him up with me, "C'mon, babe…let's get you back to bed."

We walked back to his bed and he slipped underneath the covers. I leaned over and kissed him softly, "Night, baby."

He grabbed my hand, "Wait! Um…will you stay until I fall asleep…please?"

_Like I could say no to him…_

I nodded and sat down next to him as he laid back down, holding my hand tightly in his. I had left Edward's bedroom door open so I hoped that if his parents came upstairs, they would see that we weren't doing anything and I was just trying to help him through a nightmare.

As he laid there and I sat, I noticed that his eyes were still wide open. I also noticed that his DVD player was still on even though his TV was off. I grabbed the remote from his nightstand and whispered, "What were you watching, Eddie? A horror movie or something…"

Just as I clicked the TV on he reached out and tried to swipe the remote away. What I saw on the TV was…pretty shocking…but also, really fuckin adorable.

Winnie the Pooh was playing. I chuckled a little and Edward was bright red. I raised an eyebrow at him and he just shrugged, "I…um…I like Winnie the Pooh…well, Tigger more actually…but…um…yeah."

I watched the TV for a minute as Pooh bear was stuck in Rabbit's front door, apparently too plump to get through from all the honey he had eaten.

I smiled at Edward, "You read this book a lot as a kid, huh?"

I remembered him saying that he only had a copy of Winnie the Pooh and the Bible to read as a child.

He bit his lip and blushed again, "Um…yeah…"

I laughed softly, "Maybe this is where your whole honey fascination comes from."

Now he laughed a little too, "Um…it is actually. I had never had honey when I was with my parents. I remember thinking about how fantastic it must be to have Pooh bear so smitten. So, when I was in the hospital…a nurse gave me a biscuit one morning and one of those little packets of honey. It was the best day of my life to that point. Anyway, I started eating it with everything. I must've had 100 packets of honey hidden under my mattress. Honey made me happy…just like Pooh bear."

He flashed me that crooked smile as he blushed and it took my breath away.

_God damn he's too fuckin cute for words…_

I smiled, "I'll have to remember that."

He blushed again and I whispered, "So, Tigger, huh? Why him?"

He chuckled a little and looked down at his blanket, "Um…I like his personality. He's always so much fun…and he's so damn cocky…I mean, he sings a whole song about how great Tigger's are and the fact that he's the only one. I remember thinking how great it must be to have so much confidence. He kind of reminds me…of you."

Now I laughed good at that and had to put my hand over my mouth to keep it quiet. I guess if I lived in the 100 Acre Woods…I would totally be Tigger. Personally, I liked Piglet the best. He was always stuttering and painfully shy…you just wanted to pick him up and cuddle him.

He nudged into me and rolled his eyes, "Alright…enough making fun of me. Now, you have to share something embarrassing with me…it's only fair."

I stifled my laughter and tried to think of something, "Hmm…okay, before I moved in here…um, my favorite show was…ugh…Spongebob."

Now he starts cracking up, "Why Spongebob?"

I shrug, "Dude, that shit's funny as fuck when you're high. Have you ever watched it?"

He shook his head as he still giggled.

I flicked off his DVD player and went to the online guide and quickly found an episode of Spongebob. That was another reason I liked it…it was always on TV no matter what time of day or night it was.

I leaned against the head board and he snuggled into my chest again, "Here ya go, Eddie. Watch this…I don't know if it's as funny when you're sober, but let's find out."

We cuddled together and watched the cartoon, giggling every now and then and _this_…right here, right now…this was gonna be one of my best memories. I loved confident, sexy Edward…but I adored sweet, innocent, endearing Edward.

Sometimes, things were really intense between us and definitely on a very mature level…but then there were times like this. Times when we could be silly and act like kids…I never had a real friend as a kid…hell, I never really felt like a kid. It was nice to feel like a kid sometimes. Edward could always remind me of that and it helped me feel like maybe some of those childhood wounds were healing. With him, it was okay for me to let my guard down. I trusted him…and I _really _fuckin loved him.

_I wish we coulda been friends our whole lives…I woulda loved to have had Edward as a friend when I was a little kid…_

A few minutes into the episode, Carlisle walked into the room. He yawned, "What are you boys doing?"

Edward raised up from my chest and looked at his dad, "Um…I was having a nightmare and I guess I woke Jay up. He came to check on me and I asked him to stay until I was asleep…"

Now I jumped in, "Yeah, I left the door open…sorry, Carlisle…"

His dad sat on the bed next to us and yawned again. He had been working a whole lotta hours these past few weeks and he looked beat. But he smiled softly, "Do you want to talk about it, son?"

Edward shook his head, "No…um…it was really just the same as all the others."

Edward's eyes were still bloodshot and he looked worn out. I started to stand up, "I guess I'll go back to bed now…"

But Edward reached for my arm and yanked me back down. He wrapped himself around my arm and became frantic, "Don't go! Please don't leave me alone!"

He looked over to his dad as his eyes became wet again, "Please dad! Please…just tonight. I…I need him…please let him stay with me tonight…I swear we won't do anything…we'll leave the door open…just…God, please dad…" His voice broke on the last plea and he was shaking as he held onto me with everything he had.

I wrapped my other arm around him and squeezed as I whispered, "Shh…it's gonna be okay, Edward."

He let out a deep breath and stopped shaking as he sighed into my chest.

Carlisle blew out a puff of air and ran his hand through his hair. He grabbed the remote and walked around to the other side of the bed, "Alright, son. Scoot over. If Jasper's staying…I'm staying."

Edward giggled and I chuckled a little.

He looked at his dad, "Really?"

Carlisle nodded, "Yep. It's a king size bed now scoot your butt over…I'm tired."

Carlisle crawled in bed and flicked off the TV, "No Spongebob if I'm staying…that Patrick's a moron."

This was all a little awkward and weird but kinda funny so I slipped under the blanket and held Edward's hand as we all laid on our backs. A moment later, Esme walked in. She yawned, "What's going on?"

Carlisle smiled at her, "I thought we'd have a sleepover. Wanna join?"

Esme giggled as she walked around to Carlisle, "Family sleepover, huh? Cool, I'm staying too. Scoot over."

Now we all started laughing cuz this was getting pretty ridiculous. Finally, we were all smushed in the bed cuz even for a king size, we were still four grown people in it.

And we all fell asleep like that. And it was funny and strange…but kinda nice.

I woke up the next morning with my back to Edward and his arms wrapped around my waist. Esme was shaking us and whispering, "Time to get up, boys."

We slowly started getting out of bed and she whispered, "Shh. Let your dad sleep. He's really exhausted."

Edward grabbed him some clothes and we took turns showering and getting ready in my room so Carlisle could sleep.

We had breakfast with Esme and she scolded us a bit about the inside out/backwards shirt thing but she wasn't really upset about it. As we walked to school, Edward and I were both a little nervous about what to expect. Now I was really questioning if we shoulda been coming out to everyone the way we did cuz if something happened and Edward got hurt…I was going to do very bad things to whoever was responsible.

The morning passed by pretty quick without incident. We all met up in lunch and chatted a bit when Rosalie looked over at us both. We were pretty nervous still and I think it was obvious to those at the table that knew.

She smirked at us, "So, did you boys hear of any good gossip this weekend?"

_Don't make me kill you Rose…_

Edward glanced at me and noticeably gulped. Rosalie laughed, "I heard something great! Mike Newton was trying to finger Jessica at the movie theater on Saturday night but her jeans were so tight that his chubby little hand skin got caught in her zipper! Fucking priceless!"

I let out a breath as she winked at us and gave us a small smile while everyone started chatting about it.

And the rest of the day passed fine. Nobody treated us any different or mentioned anything. I had football practice damn near every night with my first game on Friday night. Edward stayed and watched practice with Alice and sometimes Bella, Jake, or Angela and Ben.

Emmett gave us a ride home every night and I was kinda blown away by how easily everyone accepted us and never showed any indifference now that they knew. At one time in my life…I didn't want any real friends. But now…I felt really blessed to have them.

I called Peter on Wednesday to check in with him. We talked a couple times a week usually. Charlotte was getting along okay but she still had her good days and bad days. He was real proud of us coming out to Carlisle, Esme, and a few of our close friends. We made plans to get together on Sunday and go fishing if the weather held out.

Friday night, after the game, which we won by the way…we all went out for pizza and were hanging out when Rose smiled at us, "So, tomorrow night…my place. We'll watch movies and hang out. I've got a big game room in the basement with a pool table and dartboards…plus, we have a heated indoor swimming pool. It's unreal. You guys have to come! It will only be us there."

I looked at Eddie and he shrugged, "Um…sure. Do you care if we bring a friend?"

She shook her head, "Nope, I don't care. See if you guys can just stay over."

Now I spoke up, "Rose? Your parents would let us all stay the night?"

She sighed and looked down, "Yeah…it's just me and my mom. If she's even home…she'll be too hammered to give a shit."

That surprised me. On the outside, Rosalie appeared to have a completely perfect life. The quintessential blonde haired, blue-eyed, buxom cheerleader didn't have the fairy tale life that so many of the girls seemed to gossip about. But I was finding out that things aren't always as they seem.

We agreed to go and Carlisle and Esme agreed to let us go cuz we told them we would be staying at Emmett's house. I called Brady and he convinced his mom to let him stay at Jake's house for the night. And Jake convinced his dad to let them stay the night at Em's house too. So, everything was set and ready to go.

So, Billy dropped Jake and Brady off at our house and Emmett came and picked us up. Alice and Rosalie went to get Bella since she was having a "girls night"…at least, that's what Charlie thought. It turned out that Angela had to babysit her little brother so she couldn't come.

When we got to Rose's house…it was even bigger than Edward's. But when we walked in, it didn't feel nothing like our home. It felt cold here…practically unlived. Her mom wasn't home and so she led us all down to the lower level and she was right…it was unreal.

There was a big screen TV with a few couches and recliners laid out, a full bar, a pool table, a dartboard, some video games, a big heated pool and a hot tub. I felt like I was in P. Diddy's house and he was gonna run out any minute yellin, "What's up, ya broke bitches!"

There were also 5 big bedrooms on the lower level. She showed us around and informed us that her and Em got the biggest bedroom, Jake and Bella could have a room, Me and Edward got one, then Alice and Brady could each have their own rooms.

We all decided to go swimming first so we went to our rooms and changed from our overnight bags…well, except for Alice and Emmett who had fully stocked closets with their clothes.

As Edward and I were changing into our trunks I heard him giggling. I looked over at him and smiled, "What'cha laughin about, babe?"

He just shook his head and looked around the room, "Look at this place, Jasper! We've got this room to ourselves all night! This is just…crazy."

I laughed now, "Yeah…we sure as hell made friends with the right people, huh?"

He smiled over at me, "Yeah, we did. Our friends are amazing…and not because of the house."

I couldn't agree more.

We made our way out to the pool and the water felt incredible. And the view of a half-naked, wet Edward…was even better.

We were still being guarded a little with our intimacy…it still felt a little weird. After we swam and played around for awhile, we changed back into our clothes and settled onto the couches to play some video games. Brady was getting along well with everyone and I was really impressed how they all just kinda took him in.

He was really floored by it all. He came to me and Edward a few times already just gushing about how much fun he was having and how nice everyone was…even the infamous Ice Queen, Rosalie Hale, was extremely nice and not at all like what he had heard. And he was impressed that Emmett McCarty, All American football jock, was really cool and funny and nice.

Edward and I were sitting on the couch next to each other with our knees barely touching. I wanted to put my arm around him but even if everyone already knew…I wasn't sure if he would be comfortable with it.

But leave it to Alice to move things right along.

"Oh for the love of God! No one cares if you two want to cuddle up or kiss! Just keep it all above the waist out here and we're good!"

Edward blushed and I smiled over at him. He leaned into my chest and I wrapped my arm around him and sighed with contentment.

Once the video game battles got goin pretty good, Rosalie broke out the alcohol. Apparently this was a normal thing here too cuz Alice had her fifi drinks on hand…pina coladas and margaritas…Emmett had his Heineken…Rose went for the Vodka.

We all decided to partake in the mixer and I went for the Vodka with Rose…turns out that Edward loved pina coladas and so did Bella…Jake went for plain old Budweiser and Brady, well he went for Crown and Coke.

We were all pretty tipsy when we heard the door open to the stairs. I immediately thought we were busted when I saw, what had to be Rosalie's mom, come down the stairs. But I noticed that she was swaying and giggling as she tried to navigate her way down them.

She was a beautiful woman, just like Rose, with long blonde hair and striking blue eyes…but her make up was way too heavy and she was wearing a dress that was way too short and way too tight.

Rosalie jumped up and narrowed her eyes, "What the hell are you doing, mother?!"

The woman just giggled, "Rose…quit being such a little bitch. You think you can drink all my liquor and not let me join in the party?"

Rose was glaring daggers at the woman and I saw both Em and Alice quickly go to her side and each laid a hand on her shoulder. Her jaw clenched as she spat out, "You don't stock this bar! I do! Now get out!"

The woman just laughed again as she reached down and tousled Edward's hair, "Well…well…well…you plan to keep all the cute boys to yourself?"

Rose shrieked, "Leave him the fuck alone! He's 15 for Christ sake!"

Now the woman turned angry, "So fucking what! That dirt bag of a father of yours left me for a 20 year old! Fucking 20! If he thinks he's the only one who can upgrade, he's sorely fucking mistaken!"

Now Rosalie was starting to cry, "I fucking hate you! Why do you have to be like this?! You're a fucking embarrassment!"

The woman lunged but Emmett grabbed her and pulled her close to him to restrain her as she screamed and fought against him, "Embarrassment?! You want to talk about embarrassment?! How about having to drag your 16 year old daughter down to the god damn clinic to get an abortion?! That was pretty fucking embarrassing! Did you even know the father's name?! Or are you just a fucking no good slut like your father's bimbo?!"

Rose gasped and fell to her knees as Bella and Alice quickly ushered her out of the room and into one of the bedrooms. Emmett huffed, "That's fucking enough, Dory! I'm taking you to bed now!"

She purred into his chest, "How about joining me, sweetie? I can show you what a real woman's like…"

He was pissed and muttering to himself as he dragged her away and up the stairs. He couldn't get the door open with both hands on her so he yelled, "Hey Jay! Will you help me out, man?"

I ran up the stairs and opened the door. Then I helped him drag her to her room as she tried every way she could think of to talk one or both of us into bed with her.

By the time we made it up to her room…she was nearly passed out. We laid her down on her bed and Em threw a blanket over her. We left the room and as he shut the door, he put his back against it and slid down to the floor, "I have to wait for a little while…make sure she's really passed out."

I slid down next to him but didn't say anything. After a minute, he pulled his hands through his hair and sighed, "Every fucking weekend, man. She does this shit every fucking weekend. That's one of the reasons me and Alice stay the weekend with Rose. The one time I wasn't here…the bitch had the nerve to slap Rosie. I swear to God…the day we graduate…I'm taking Rose out of here and never looking back."

I pulled my knees up and rested my chin on them, "She kinda reminds me of my mama. She was _always _fucked up. And she always blamed everything wrong in her life on me. She used to cut me down so fuckin much…the Cullen's saved my fuckin life, man. Rose is lucky to have you guys."

He gave me a half smile and sighed, "I love Rose with everything I have, Jay. She saves me too. My dad…he's one of those…those guys who try to live through their kids. He keeps me on a real strict weight training schedule…even when I'm sick, I still have to train because he can't possibly have a pussy for a son. He's had my whole fucking life planned since the day I was born. The day we graduate…my life is my own. Me and Rosie are taking off somewhere and getting married. And I don't care if I ever see that bastard again."

I looked down at the ground and sighed, "Are your mom and dad still together?"

He shook his head, "No. She passed away when I was eight. Car accident. He remarried once but it only lasted a few months."

"I'm sorry, man…"

He just smiled weakly at me, "It's okay…how about your dad? Do you see him?"

I shook my head and laughed, "Fuck no…I haven't seen that asshole for almost three years now and I'm hoping the sorry bastard never gets the sudden urge to show up. He's one of those sadistic military types, ya know? Every time I've ever seen him…he just has to find some new inventive way to fuckin break me. I'm happy with the Cullen's. I hope my past stays there in the fuckin past and never comes back."

We talked for a little bit and then he started to stand, "I think she's out. Let's go back downstairs."

I nodded and followed him back down but once we were on the main level, I stopped, "Hey man, I'm gonna step outside and have a smoke."

He nodded, "Yeah, man. Just go through those patio doors right there."

I walked outside and found a stone bench overlooking a garden. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. I took a few drags and thought back to one of the first things I had ever said to Edward and I was realizing that it was so much truer than I ever realized.

"_Edward, everyone is fucked up…it's just that some people are better at hiding it than others…"_

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't register anyone come outside until I heard a soft, "Can I get one of those?"

I looked up at Rosalie who had a far off look in her eyes, "Sure. Here, Rose."

I handed her a cigarette and then she sat next to me and I lit it for her. She took a deep drag and slowly exhaled, "Thanks."

I just nodded and shoved my lighter back in my pocket. After a minute, she sighed, "I'm sorry you had to see that. I was really hoping that she just wouldn't come home tonight but I should've known better."

I looked at the ground cuz I knew how much pride Rose had and I knew that this was really hard for her to talk about. "Don't apologize, Rose. You okay?"

She laughed softly followed by a deep sigh, "Yeah. I just…ugh…never mind."

Now I looked over at her and nudged into her shoulder, "Ya know, Rose…you're keeping a pretty big secret for me…I could return the favor…if ya want."

She smiled softly and took another drag. She was quiet for a moment before she started speaking, "My dad left two years ago when I was 15. As you heard, he left for a girl who was barely 20...she was an intern at his law office. When he left…my mom started drinking. She thinks she has something to prove…that she needs to one up him or something."

Then she looked over at me and spoke quietly as her voice quivered, "I'm not a slut…but after he left…I just needed someone to…just…love me, ya know?"

I nodded and she continued, "I met this guy…he was 22 and absolutely gorgeous. He was everything I needed him to be at the moment…he really had me convinced that he loved me. I lost my virginity in his fucking frat house…really romantic, huh?"

I smiled softly, "I lost mine the day after my 12th birthday. It was the daughter of one of my mama's boyfriends. She was 15 and such a fuckin bitch to me. She had a slumber party with two of her girlfriends and they were really drunk. She asked me to come drink with them, so I did."

I took a drag and continued, "Anyway…she started making fun of me…about how I was such a fuckin child and stupid and worthless…and how I couldn't handle a woman like her. I started crying…drunk and feeling completely stupid in front of her and her friends. So, she dared me to fuck her, there on the basement floor with her friends as witnesses. God, I hated her so fuckin much but this little voice in my head kept screaming my dad's words at me about how a real man never passes an opportunity to get a piece of ass. So, I did it…it was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life."

She put her hand on my arm, "God…that's horrible, Jasper."

I just nodded and inch by inch…we had our arms around each other until we were hugging…the Ice Queen and the arrogant asshole…we had more in common than I ever thought.

After a moment, she pulled away and whispered, "The baby…the baby was his. When I told him…he called me a stupid kid and a whore…he told me that the baby could be anyone's. When I told my mom, she said I had to get an abortion or move out. I called my dad and asked to live with him but he said no. I asked Alice's mom but her and my mom are good friends so she said no too. I ran away for a couple of weeks. Emmett and I have been friends for years but I always thought that he was just too good for me. I ended up on his doorstep and just broke down. He wanted to take me away with him that night and raise the baby as his own but I couldn't let him fuck up his chances at college and a football scholarship. He said he'd always stick by me, no matter what…so I came home. I still have nightmares about what I did. Half way through everything…I started screaming for them to stop…but it was too late. My baby was gone…and it was because I was too selfish and weak to fight. I swore, never again and I morphed into the Ice Queen. It's better this way, really…when people think you're a heartless bitch…they tend not to fuck with you."

I smiled cuz I knew exactly what she meant. She wiped her eyes and smiled at me, "C'mon…enough with this sad shit…let's go have some fun. We both have some extremely hot men waiting for us."

I laughed and we made our way back downstairs. Everyone was still drinking a little and was sitting around listening to music and talking. Edward gave me a beautiful crooked smile as I walked toward him.

Emmett boomed, "Hey?! Did you guys know that Brady's never had his first kiss?!"

Brady was ten shades of red and Alice smiled, "I offered but apparently he's more into sausages than tacos."

Jake laughed, "Dude! I'm his cousin…"

Edward smiled up at me and I smiled down at him. I dropped to the couch and put my arm around him, "We're in a relationship so we can't go down that road…"

Edward sighed and squeezed me happily. Brady was stammering, "Really you guys…it's no big deal…I've waited this long…I can just wait until it's…"

But he was caught off guard when Emmett laughed, "Aww…fuck it…" Then he reached over and grabbed Brady's face and crashed his lips to his. There was no tongue and Brady's eyes were wide open.

When he pulled away, he put his fingers to his lips and whispered, "Holy shit…Emmett McCarty just kissed me…"

We all started laughing as he grinned widely. Emmett put his arm around Rose and smiled, "Yup…it's all down hill from here, kid."

The night wore on and I had a great time. It seemed that Edward did to. We stuck by each other's side for a lot of it but we also spent a lot of time apart. It was really cool seeing Edward open up to these people and be playful and fun. He held himself back so much cuz of his trust issues so watching him teach Brady how to play Halo and Em teaching him how to play darts and Alice showing him how to make a decent pina colada…it was really fun for me.

It was well after midnight and we were all pretty buzzed but not sloppy drunk or anything…well, except for Brady who had passed out on top of the pool table. Em carried him to his room and laid him down. That was another thing that was surreal to me…Emmett looked like the big, stereotypical jock…most people thought he was a big dumb oaf…but Em was really sweet. I watched him carry Brady into his room and lay him down, he pulled his shoes off and folded his glasses on the nightstand. Then he pulled up the blanket and tousled his hair whispering, "Sweet dreams, kid."

He turned and saw me leaning against the doorframe and he laughed quietly, "What? I was the boy's first kiss…it's only right that I treat him good."

I figured that Brady must really remind him of his cousin Tommy cuz Em had kind of a sweet spot for him.

Bella and Jake retired to their room at about 1am and Alice followed shortly after. Me and Em were playing a game when I felt a warm soft hand slide up the back of my shirt and satin fingertips brushing along my skin.

I looked over at Edward who was staring intently at the TV screen but had a little mischievous smile on his face. So I leaned over to his ear and whispered, "Wanna go to bed so I can worship you properly, darlin?"

I felt the goose bumps on his neck rise as my nose slid along it and breathed him in. His eyes snapped to mine and they were hooded and bright green. The intensity of the color of his eyes caused my breathing to hitch…I had never seen eyes that shone the way his did.

He fake yawned and I smiled, "I think we're gonna go to bed, guys."

Rose smiled, "Well, you know where the shower is for the morning. If you guys need anything, let me know."

Em laughed, "You boys behave yourselves!"

I rolled my eyes and he held his fist out, "Night, man."

I bumped it, "Night, man."

Me and Eddie walked to our room and the second the door was closed, he pushed me against it and attacked my lips. I welcomed an attack from Edward any day so my lips gave into his command easily.

One of his hands were tangled in my hair while his other was on my hip, underneath my shirt…the soft skin of his hands always felt so good against my rough, scarred skin. My fingers hooked into his belt loops and pulled his hips into mine.

He groaned softly as his lips and teeth went to my neck. I felt him start to harden against me and I trailed my hand down over the growing bulge in his jeans and began rubbing him with firm, hard strokes.

He bucked his hips into mine furiously before reaching behind me and locking the door. He pulled away and grabbed me by the waist of my jeans, tugging me along to the bed, smiling that sexy crooked smile.

As we walked to the bed, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and I lifted my arms so he could pull it off. Edward was all kinds of worked up…I could tell by that wicked little gleam in his eyes and that ghost of a smirk on his plump, red lips. Apparently, drunk happy Edward was a horny boy…this made me…very happy...and horny.

His lips quickly came to mine again as he sucked my tongue into his mouth eagerly with a loud moan. He tasted like coconut and rum…yummy.

My hands were around his waist and up the back of his shirt where I kneaded his strong back and shoulders. I ghosted my fingertips down his spine and he shivered right as I grabbed the bottom and ripped it up over his head.

And then…he dropped to his knees and quickly started unbuckling my belt. I looked down at him as he gazed up at me with a sexy smirk on his face. Once everything was unbuckled…he surprised me again.

His eyes never left mine as he took the leather belt between his teeth and started pulling it off. I bit my lip to stifle a loud moan and he smiled as he dropped the belt to the ground. I was throbbing against my jeans and he began trailing his nose along my jeans clad cock before nipping and licking through the denim.

My hands went to his shoulders to try and keep myself steady and upright. He unbuttoned my jeans and his teeth slowly dragged the zipper down. He yanked my jeans down and continued the wet licks and soft nips along my now boxer brief clad dick.

Things started becoming blurry as my head fell back and my eyes closed…tipsy and feeling so much pleasure that I could barely stand…and he hadn't even touched my skin yet.

I could feel the pre-cum soaking through my boxer briefs only adding to the wetness his mouth was leaving.

His hands were squeezing the backs of my thighs as they trailed up and slid underneath the legs of my underwear. I was chanting his name his name softly, unable to verbalize anything but the source of my pleasure.

I felt his tongue slide along the V of my abdomen…dipping into and swirling around my belly button before working its way underneath the waistband. His fingers clenched the fabric that clung to my ass and began dragging it down while his teeth pulled out the waist band and finally released my aching cock.

I felt my underwear slip down my legs and I steadied myself again as helped me lift my feet and kick them off.

His hands were back to my ass…kneading the skin as his tongue trailed up my thighs and underneath my sack. He gently sucked my balls into his mouth and hummed contently and I whispered, "Oh fuck…"

He licked and sucked them for a few minutes before he released them and ran his tongue up the underside of my cock. His lips wrapped around the leaky head of my cock and I couldn't stifle the moan that escaped my lips this time.

I finally snapped my eyes open and tried to stay as coherent as possible. I looked down and was met with gorgeous green eyes staring back as he worked his way up and down my dick slowly.

My chest was heaving and my legs were wobbly…he took my dick in his hand and released it from his mouth. He smiled shyly up at me, "Um…hey Jay?"

I smiled back and brushed my fingers through his crazy bronze hair, "Yeah, babe?"

I watched a faint blush come to his cheeks and it was everything I could do to keep myself from cumming at the sight.

"Um…how do you…um…deep throat? We're about the same size but you're able to take me all the way down your throat. Is there a trick?"

I smiled and rubbed my fingers gently along his throat and whispered, "Relax your throat…breathe through your nose…and work your way down slowly."

He had a look of determination in his pretty green eyes as he took the head of my cock back into his warm, wet mouth. I felt his tongue inside his mouth, sliding and swirling along my cock as he slowly worked his way down.

And I watched very closely cuz, god damn, he was fuckin sexy as hell with my cock in his mouth.

He took his time and worked his way down. And I worked my best to just not cum yet.

My body was reeling from him now…and eventually, he took me all the way down his throat and I felt the breath from his nose buried in my curls.

He pulled away and smiled up at me, lookin all damn cute as hell as he grinned proudly, "I did it!"

I laughed softly and continued running my fingers through his soft hair, "Ya did real good, darlin…now, ya wanna do it again?"

He laughed and stood up, "Yeah…but I want you to lay down. I know your legs are tired."

He was right, they were aching. He walked around me and pulled back the blankets of the bed. He started to undo his jeans but I slapped his hands away and said, "Uh uh…I wanna unwrap my gift."

He laughed and I chuckled as I undid his jeans and dragged them and his boxer briefs down his legs and helped him out of them.

He slid underneath the blankets and I followed after him. Our bodies quickly became entangled as we kissed passionately and just enjoyed the feeling of this…being completely naked…completely free with each other…in a big, comfy bed under soft thick blankets.

He pulled away from my mouth, panting out, "I need to go back down on you…"

I just pulled him closer and whispered, "But I don't wanna let you go…just touch me, baby…I need to kiss you…"

And I did. It was physically impossible for me to release him from my arms in that moment. So that's what we did. We rolled around kissing and just grinding against each other. One minute I'd be on top…the next minute he'd be on top.

Eventually I felt my body tighten as he was on top this time. His legs were between mine and mine were spread open to him. I moaned loudly into the kiss as I erupted against both of our stomachs and his hard cock.

His hips rolled against mine a few more times before I felt his body go rigid above me and then his warm, wet cum squirting out onto my stomach.

He collapsed on top of me, panting as his lips broke free from mine and fell against my shoulder. We were both sticky and slick with sweat. We held onto each other tight and a few minutes later…I heard him snoring softly in my ear.

He had completely passed out on top of me. I gently rolled him to the side and kept one arm around him as I reached down to grab his t-shirt on the floor. I wiped us clean and threw the t-shirt back to the ground.

Even in his sleep, his arms quickly wrapped around me and pulled me back to him. I pulled the blanket up to our chins and then held him tight as I whispered, "Love you, Edward. Sweet dreams." He sighed and a whisper of a smile played on his lips. I drifted into a very peaceful sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Things in my personal life are on an upswing so thank you guys so much for all the love and support you've given me. And thanks for loving my boys as much as I do!**

**Songs: Black Keys - Till I Get My Way, Fiona Apple - Shadowboxer, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel**

**Edward's POV**

_Finally! Wow…I can't believe I finally did it!_

I felt Jay's curly little blonde hairs tickling my nose and his length all the way down my throat. He was trembling and rocking slowly back and forth on the balls of his feet. I knew his legs weren't going to last much longer.

I slowly released him from the depths of my throat. I grinned up at my sexy-as-fuck boyfriend, "I did it!"

He laughed softly and continued running his fingers through my hair, "Ya did real good, darlin…now, ya wanna do it again?"

_Hell yeah I want to do it again…and again…and again…_

I stood up and told him that I did but he should lay down. I knew his legs were aching and I really wanted to enjoy this time together. We wouldn't get opportunities like this often so I wanted to make the most of it.

He slapped my hands away as I started to undo my jeans and he smirked at me with bloodshot hooded eyes and slurred out, "Uh uh…I wanna unwrap my gift."

_God, that fucking accent is so thick when he's drunk…it went straight to my cock…well, everything he did pretty much went straight to my cock. Why does he want to wait? I want to fuck now! _

I crawled into bed and he followed. I took in the sight of his perfect hard body, all muscular and sexy and just needing to be licked and worshipped like the fucking Adonis he is…

_How the hell did I get so damn lucky? Look at him…he makes my mouth fucking water…_

His legs wrapped around mine and I reveled in his muscular thighs and rock hard cock pressed against my stomach. His lips came home quickly and I could taste his sweet honey nectar on my tongue…mixed with something a little stronger.

My skin was tingling from the sensation of his body on mine. This is the way it should always be…me and Jasper…naked…in bed…that's it…nothing else…just me and Jasper naked in bed…

_God I'm so damn horny! I need his cock in my mouth now! I need to feel his thick rod down my throat…pushing past my tonsils and the soft blonde curls tickling my nose…I need to hear him crying out my name…I need to feel him cumming deep down my throat as I bring him to the edge of fucking oblivion! _

I break from the kiss and manage to breath out, "I need to go back down on you…"

But his grip tightens and he pulls me closer whispering, "But I don't wanna let you go…just touch me, baby…I need to kiss you…"

_And his needs outweigh my own because I understand Jasper…sometimes, he really just needs to feel loved…needs the connection of intimacy other than something rough and dirty…he really loves me and I'll give him whatever he needs…I can be rough and dirty in my thoughts…_

Our bodies tangle and roll around the bed until half the blankets and pillows have fallen on the floor. Our lips only break apart enough to drag in a ragged breath before we connect again. He's on top of me now, legs between mine and mine are spread open to him. And my drunken mind begins to wander…

_The tip of his big thick cock pushing slowly inside me…wet with pre-cum and throbbing in anticipation…my body stretching as he fills me…a little bit of pain but a whole lot of pleasure as his short golden curls mix with my short bronze ones…in and out…slowly…no, wait…hard…yeah, hard and fast…his ass slapping my thighs as he fucking pounds into me…grunting and sweating and growling as he fucks me senseless…yeah…that's it…fuck me, Jay…harder…faster…so fucking close…_

And I can't take it anymore as I roll him onto his back and roll my hips against his furiously as new images take over my mind…

_My cock…pushing into him…tight and wet and hot…I'm in control as he entrusts his body to me for good keeping…oh, and I plan on keeping you well, my love…his body is tight around my throbbing cock and I groan as his hard cock twitches and drips with his sticky nectar as I fill him completely and connect our bodies in every way…our souls are already connected like this…but I want his fucking body too…I want to fuck him…want to hear him screaming my name and watch his eyes roll back as the headboard beats against the wall from my efforts…I want to watch his beautiful cock erupt as mine fills his tight ass and own him completely…mine…all fucking mine…_

He moans deeply into the kiss as I feel him cum hard against our stomachs and it only takes a couple more strokes for me to let go too.

My lips finally break away from his and I pant against his shoulder…

_I love you so much, Jasper…promise you'll never ever leave me…promise you'll always want to kiss me…forever…man…he smells good…wonder what he's wearing…hey, he's got a little mole on his shoulder…another one there too…he's so damn cute…I should lick him…_

* * *

The next morning I awake to a loud knock on the door and Emmett's booming voice, "Put the cock down and come out with your hands up!"

Jasper slowly opens his eyes and we both start giggling. Jasper yells back, "How bout we come out there with our hands down and our cocks up!"

Then I hear Alice, "Enough with the cock talk boys! How would you like it if I went into the vag-tastical world of the clitoris! Damn…I haven't even had my coffee yet! No wonder I think I might like girls…"

Now everybody's laughing as we get out of bed and dressed. I grab my bag so I can take a shower. And when I walk out, I survey the scene…Emmett and Brady playing a video game…Alice is braiding Bella's hair…Rosalie and Jake are talking about some sort of sports car…and I smile because somehow…this feels really comfortable to me.

I had never been truly comfortable with anyone but Jay and now…I actually had some friends. At first, I thought Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, and Jake were just being nice to me because of Jasper but last night…they each hung out with me on their own. And they were all really nice to me and seemed interested in getting to know me and the weird thing was…I kind of liked it.

The morning passed quickly and Emmett dropped us off at home. My dad took Jasper over to Peter's house because they had planned to go fishing. I spent the afternoon playing my piano and just reminiscing about how much fun I had last night. It was unexpected and really nice.

The next few weeks passed by pretty quickly. We had all fallen into a routine now. After the games on Friday night, we went out for pizza, Saturday night we stayed at Rose's house, and Sunday Jasper and I would usually do our own thing for a few hours. Everything was going really well.

I had still been having nightmares but sometimes I could change my reaction a little and Dr. Greene said that was a great thing.

It was the Wednesday before our winter break began and Jasper and I were going to have to walk home today because Emmett had been called home for some sort of family emergency.

We were about half way home and I cringed when I heard, "Hey Edward? Miss me?"

Jasper turned before I did and we saw James pulling his car to the side of the road. Jasper stopped dead in his tracks and I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him along, "Don't worry about him, Jay…"

My stomach dropped as Jasper jerked away from me, seemingly oblivious to my pleas.

"I got your little message, fucker…I'm right here, man. Get outta the fuckin car," Jasper had dropped his backpack and stood there glaring at James.

James smirked while he sat in the car, "I don't fight little boys…"

Jasper smirked right back, "No…you just fuck little boys, right?"

_What the hell?_

I watched as James actually had a panic stricken look in his eye and leaned back away when Jasper strolled over to his window and bent down. He folded his arms on the door and smiled as he whispered, "I _know _you. I know all about you. Trust me when I say that getting an ass whoopin from me…is the least of your fuckin worries right now. You can run and you can hide…but I _am _gonna fuck you up. So, quit being a pussy and get outta the god damn car."

James spat back, "Fuck you! Get away from my fucking car! I'm not going to jail for fighting you."

Jasper stood up and cocked his head to the side, "Ya scared of jail, James? I thought this shit wasn't over? Where's the bad ass mother fucker who put his hands on _my _fuckin boyfriend and threatened me? I thought you was gonna show Edward what it's like to be with a real man, mother fucker, so grow a pair of fuckin balls and show me something."

James just rolled his eyes and smirked, "You think you're bad, little boy? You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

Jasper put his hands on the door and leaned down again and whispered, "You don't know what _real _is, _boy_. I'm not one of your little naïve boys. You think you're crazy? You think you're tough? Prove it and get outta the fuckin car."

I couldn't take anymore, my heart was racing and I had to get Jasper out of here before things got worse. I walked over to him and pulled him away, "C'mon, Jay. He's not worth it. He's a pathetic loser who screws around with teenage boys because he has nothing to offer. He's not going to fight you so let's just go home."

Jasper just laughed as he grabbed his backpack and flung it over his shoulder. He threw his arm around my shoulders and looked over at James with that deviant smirk on his face, "Run along home, Billy bad ass. Put on your leather jacket and play with that cool little ponytail…and when you convince yourself again of just how tough you are…come find me so I can punk your bitch ass again."

James was glaring daggers at us as we walked away. He sat there for a minute before finally speeding off. I let out a breath and looked over at Jasper, "Jesus, Jay…you don't know what that guy's capable of. Why do you have to insist on fighting everyone?"

I was really scared for Jasper. This guy may not want to fight him but there's a lot of other really bad things he could do…things that could end up with Jasper in jail or worse.

In his usual, fuck the world, attitude, Jasper just laughed, "That guy ain't gonna do shit, Edward. He's a fuckin pussy. My mama dated a million guys just like that. They're real bad asses till someone stands up to them and then they back the fuck down cuz they're all fuckin talk. Fuck James."

That damn attitude of his was going to get him hurt, "But Jay…"

Now he turned and stopped, "Edward, I got this under control, man. I know you think I'm gonna run and do something foolish and get myself hurt. That ain't gonna happen, darlin. Trust me."

I groaned, "Fine. Then teach me how to fight so I can back you up."

We started walking again and he smiled, "Yeah? You really wanna learn?"

I nodded, "Yeah, Jay…with you as my boyfriend, I better learn how because I am not going to sit around and watch you do this stuff without being able to help you."

He laughed, "Edward, I don't need no help…"

I rolled my eyes and smirked at him, "I know you don't need my help, Jay…but I need to be able to defend myself so you don't always feel the need to step in."

He just smiled over at me, "Edward, I'll always stand up for you…that's just how I'm made. But I think it's a good idea to teach you how to fight. We'll start tonight."

I just nodded and soon we were home. We went upstairs and laid on my floor to do our homework. We had chatted a little about Emmett and hoped everything was okay. We wanted to call and check on him but figured we better wait for him to call us.

After dinner, we both changed into a pair of sweatpants and t-shirts. I followed Jay into the garage so he could begin his lesson. I was nervous…I didn't want to look like a total fool in front of him but I knew he wouldn't tease me even if I was really bad at this.

The first thing he taught me was how to throw a decent punch. It was a little difficult because he's a natural southpaw but luckily he can hit with both hands…it's just that his left was his power arm instead of the right, like most people. He explained that this was a good thing because most people don't expect a violent left hook. So, once I could throw a decent punch with my right hand, he had me practice with my left.

We practiced for a couple of hours and finally we were both sweating and drained. As we were sitting side by side on the weight bench, I handed him a bottle of water and he smiled, "Now, Eddie, just cuz I'm teachin you this shit…it doesn't mean that you go around talkin shit to people. You're not me, man. Don't get yourself in trouble."

I smirked, "I don't think you have to worry about me running around picking fights, Jasper."

He laughed, "I know, Edward. Okay, so now that you got a basic punch down, let me fill you in on strategy."

I nodded and took a drink and he continued, "First thing, if you think some shits gonna pop off, take in your surroundings immediately. Street fights aren't fair…I've seen people get knocked the fuck out with pool sticks, thrown threw fuckin windows, all kinds of crazy shit. That's why I'm so observant. That's the first thing I do when I think something's gonna happen…I survey my surroundings so I know what I have to fight with, if necessary. Next, don't talk shit. If you _know _that you're gonna fight…don't say a fuckin word, just start swingin. I don't believe in that 'never throw the first punch' bullshit."

I nodded, "But, what about those guys at the pool hall or even James? You didn't just hit them…"

He smiled, "I sized up the guys at the pool hall and the stick was well within reach. I didn't throw a punch cuz that wasn't a fight that I needed to have and I had you with me. If it happened, I was ready but I knew it probably wouldn't happen. With James, I'm biding my time, Edward. I couldn't get a decent hit while he was in the car…now, if he showed up on that damn bike…I wouldn't have said a fuckin word. I woulda just hit him."

"Aren't you ever afraid?"

He laughed, "No, man. What's the worst they can do to me? So, I may get my ass beat…big fuckin deal…I used to get my ass whooped all the time when I was a kid. I'm sure I'll get my ass beat again. Shit happens. Bruises, ribs, broken bones…they all heal…but that feeling of being scared or feeling like a punk for letting someone talk shit to you without fighting back…that shit never goes away."

He was right. I knew that feeling all too well but I was surprised that Jasper had ever backed down from anything.

"You felt like that before, Jay? You were afraid to fight?"

He nodded, "Yeah, Edward. I used to get my ass kicked on a daily basis. When I was eight, I got jumped on the fuckin school bus and ended up in the hospital. My mama made me go stay the summer with my dad after that. He was so fuckin embarrassed to have a pussy for a son so he paid my two older cousins to beat the shit outta me every damn day till I fought back. Then he'd kick my ass every night. Finally, I just lost it one day. I hid a baseball bat under the porch steps and when Jeremiah and Brandon came at me, I grabbed that bat. I broke Jeremiah's leg and Brandon ran off to his mama. My dad was so proud of me that he took me out for ice cream that night. The next day, he started teaching me how to fight. How's that for father-son bonding time?"

I just shook my head, "God, your parents were assholes."

He laughed, "Yeah, but at least they taught me how to survive by any means necessary."

The rest of the week flew by in school and we found out that Emmett's emergency at home was due to one of his younger cousins. He never said what happened but apparently his cousin, Tommy, was going to be staying with him at the beginning of the new year. He seemed really happy about it so I figured they must be close.

Winter break had arrived and it was our first Christmas with Jay as an official part of the family. My mom decided to forgo visiting the relatives this year and just have a nice, cozy Christmas at home. I was really thankful.

Christmas Eve had finally arrived and dad had been called in to the hospital. Christmas was always a really busy time at the hospital. Me and Jasper helped my mom finish a few last minute things for dinner tomorrow and she helped herself to more than a few glasses of wine.

We settled down and began watching A Christmas Story…it was my all time favorite Christmas movie and I couldn't believe that Jasper had never seen it. He thought Ralphie was adorable because of his thick, black glasses. By the end, he was yawning and sleepy so he gave me a quick good night kiss and went to bed.

Mom stumbled to bed shortly after and I was left alone. So, I decided to give Jay his present early…

I ran up to my room and quickly showered. Once I was done, I slipped on a pair of red pajama pants, a white t-shirt, and my Santa hat. I grabbed one of the presents I had gotten for Jasper and stuck it in my pocket before strolling to his room.

I pushed open the door and gazed upon my sleeping love. He was lying on his side, all curled up and beautiful. His honey curls had fallen over his eyes and his pretty pink lips were slightly parted as he slept peacefully. It was almost a shame to wake him up…almost.

I tip-toed to the end of the bed and carefully crawled up behind him. I lifted the blanket and slowly slid in until I was pressed against his shirtless back. He was only wearing a pair of boxers so this should be pretty easy but I had to get him to turn over first.

So, very softly, I began running my fingertips down his side. He shivered but didn't wake or roll over. I figured I better just go for the gusto to get what I wanted. I brushed my fingertips around to his hard, strong stomach and down to the little happy trail that dipped underneath his boxers.

He stirred a little but didn't roll over. So, I brushed my fingers gently along the cotton fabric of his boxers before rubbing his softened cock through the fabric. He sighed and after a minute, he began to harden.

_Merry Christmas to me…_

Once I had awakened his beautiful cock, he moaned softly and rolled over onto his back. He was still snoring softly mixed with soft moans and sighs as I stroked him a little more.

Then I carefully crawled over top of him and gripped the sides of his boxers. I gently began tugging them down and instinctively, his hips lifted a little to let me pull them off. Now, he stirred a little more so I sat still for a moment until I heard his breathing even out again.

I had to put my hand over my mouth to stifle a giggle when he mumbled in his sleep, "Mmm…sex hair…peach cobbler…nice squishy ass..."

Once I got my giggles under control, I took a deep breath and leaned down. I licked the sticky wetness from the slit of his tip…_mmm, honey…_

Then I kissed the swollen head gently before enveloping it in my mouth and slowly sliding down, hallowing my cheeks and breathing through my nose until those golden hairs tickled my nose.

My eyes were closed but I heard his breathing pick up dramatically, followed by a gasp and a very deep raspy southern drawl, "Ooohhh God…Edward…darlin, that feels so fuckin good…don't stop, baby…"

Against his wishes, I raised up and opened my eyes. His eyes were still closed but the moment I released his cock, they opened as he breathed out, "Why'd you st…"

I smiled that crooked grin that I know he likes and he laughed softly, "Well, hey there Santa."

I smiled back, "Hey Jay. Have you been naughty or nice?"

He laughed again before gripping my hips as I straddled him, "Hmm…well, Santa, I think I've been more nice than naughty this year…but right now, I'm feelin real fuckin naughty."

He rolled his hips underneath me as his hard cock actually slipped underneath my t-shirt and brushed my stomach. I moaned softly and gazed upon my beautiful boy with a wicked gleam in my eye.

I reached into my pajama pants pocket and pulled out a pair of dark rimmed glasses. I bit my lip as I put them on, suddenly feeling shy and wondering if he was going to think this was stupid. Once they were on, I whispered, "Um…Merry Christmas, Jay."

I watched as his mouth hung open for a moment and his cock throbbed against my stomach. He finally breathed out a heavy, "Where are your parents?"

I whispered, "Um…dad's still at the hospital…mom's passed out from the wine."

His eyes darkened into a stormy indigo and he licked his lips, looking very predatory as he gruffly said, "Go lock the fuckin door."

My own cock reacted to the roughness of his voice and I whimpered softly as I bit my lip again to stifle it. I slowly crawled off of his lap and walked across the room to lock the door.

When I turned back around, he was sitting on the edge of his bed slowly pumping his impressive cock with a wicked grin on his lovely face. He growled out, "Stop. Strip. Slowly."

Again, my cock responded to his tone as it throbbed. I reached up and tossed the hat to the ground. Then I slowly lifted my shirt over my head, messing up the glasses that I had to readjust. My eyes kept drifting between his and the floor, as I felt a little timid by the glasses and the command to strip. But every time my eyes met his, the anxious look of lust in them was enough to keep my going.

I hooked my fingers in the sides of my pants and with a gulp, I started pulling them down. Once they hit the floor, I stepped out of them leaving me completely exposed. He responded with a groan.

"C'mere, Edward."

I walked over to him and he smiled, "Get on your knees."

I slowly dropped to my knees. My heart was racing with excitement. I loved dominant Jasper.

As I sat on my knees and looked up at him through the glasses with wide eyes, he used one hand to slowly pump his cock while his other hand brushed along my cheek. He whispered in a deep southern drawl, "Ya wanna suck my dick, baby?"

I bit my lip and groaned. My eyes quickly became hooded with desire and I nodded profusely which caused my glasses to slide down to the tip of my nose. He smiled as he pushed them back up, "Okay, I'll let you suck my dick on one condition, darlin…"

I licked my lips in anticipation and whispered, "Anything."

He brushed his thumb softly across my bottom lip and whispered, "I wanna cum on your glasses."

I wanted to giggle because it was a funny request but I was caught like a fly in a web under his intense gaze. I would do anything he asked of me…and I liked that he was kinky. Who would've ever that a man like Jasper would be into geeks?

I nodded again and he smiled as he brought the tip of his cock to my lips. It was sticky sweet, dripping with honey as I lavished it with the strength of my desire through my lips and tongue and teeth.

He leaned back on the bed with one hand while his other hand gripped my hair. As I started slowly bobbing up and down over his delicious cock, I closed my eyes.

I felt a sharp tug on my hair pulling my face up to look at him. My eyes opened and he whispered, "Don't close your eyes, sugar. Look at me."

I couldn't help the crooked grin that spread across my face now as I licked out my tongue and ran it along his shaft. His eyes were midnight blue and hooded as they bore into mine under long onyx lashes. He was simply the most beautiful creature in all of existence.

His hand guided my head up and down his cock, slow then fast…hard then soft…all these conflicting energies had my body caught up in a euphoric cataclysmic meltdown. I swear, I was getting close to cumming because even though he was not physically touching my body…his eyes and moans and grunts and whimpers were stroking me silly.

After a few minutes, he moaned, "I'm gonna cum, Edward…"

His fingers tightened in my hair as he pulled his cock out of my mouth. He started pumping himself furiously and I wrapped my hand around him too to help.

He groaned something completely unintelligible as he came all over my face and coated my glasses in his sticky, white nectar.

I think he fell back against the bed but I couldn't see anything. He was breathing heavily and whispering, "God damn…best fuckin boyfriend ever…Jesus…"

Then I heard him giggle, "Oh, sorry, man. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He took my hand in his and led me to the bathroom. I heard the bathroom sink come on and then he slipped the glasses off my face.

He smiled and grabbed a washcloth. Very gently, he washed my face and the tips of my hair with the washcloth. Once my face was clean, he rinsed my glasses and dried them off before slipping them back on my face.

He grinned as he threw the washcloth in the hamper, "Thank you, darlin…that was the best Christmas present I ever got."

Now I smiled, "Really?"

He nodded and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling our naked bodies close. He kissed me softly and kept smiling into the kiss, which made me laugh, "You really have a thing for geeks, huh?"

He pulled away, grinning, and he shrugged, "We all have our things, Edward."

He grabbed my hand and led me back to his bed, "Where'd you get the glasses at, man?"

He handed me my pajama pants and then he slipped some on too.

I giggled softly, "Well, um, I went to the eye doctor and ordered them. They thought it was strange because I have perfect eyesight so the lenses have no prescription. I couldn't really tell them that my boyfriend has a geek fetish."

He laughed and pulled me onto his bed, "That was really cool, Eddie…I got to act out a fantasy of mine."

We sat down Indian style, happy and relaxed. He reached over and pulled out a gift from his nightstand, "Here, babe…Merry Christmas."

He handed me the package and I smiled, "Thanks, Jay."

I ripped into the wrapping paper like an eager kid on Christmas morning. My breathing hitched as I ran my fingertips across the dark brown leather. It was a photo album with a picture of me and Jasper on the cover at 13 years old. His arm was around my neck and he was grinning down at me while I looked up at him with a big smile on my face. I brushed my fingers across the leather inscription that said, 'Eddie and Jay.'

My heart was racing from the overwhelming love I felt at that moment. I heard him whisper, "Do you like it, Edward?"

I lifted my eyes to his and couldn't keep the silly grin off my face, "I love it. It's perfect. Thank you, Jay."

He smiled and scooted over beside me, pulling the blanket over our legs, "You're welcome, Eddie. Now, open it…there's a lot more pictures in there."

I opened the album and smiled as we began to go through it. There were hundreds of pictures, sometimes arranged with two or three on a page. He had written little comments next to them, describing what we were doing or where we were. It was a scrapbook of all our memories up until this point. There were the ticket stubs to the movie we saw when we first held hands…along with a Skittles and M&M wrapper. There were notes we had passed to each other in school. There were petals from the red rose he gave me on our first date and he handwrote the lyrics to the song he played me when he told me he thought he was in love with me.

The last photos were taken last week at Rosalie's house. We had gotten a lot more comfortable showing our affection openly in front of them. We were snuggled up on the couch watching a movie and we started kissing. Apparently, Alice had taken pictures of the whole thing because there were four pictures, two to a page of us kissing. The first, he was tugging on my lip with his teeth. The second, we were smiling as our lips parted and met. The third, our eyes were closed and heads tilted as we shared a deep, romantic kiss. The last kissing picture, our hands were tangled in each other's hair and our lips were barely grazing as we looked at each other through hooded eyes.

The very last picture, we were asleep on the couch. We were spooning with me in front as he held onto me. His cheek rested against mine as his honey curls fell across his closed eyes and mingled into my bronze locks. There were several blank pages at the end to add more pictures.

We sat in silence for quite awhile, just staring at the picture. Jasper and I were perfect together…made for one another…we just…fit.

Eventually, he whispered, "50 years from now, Edward…we'll look back at these and we'll see everything that we've gone through or will go through to get to that point…but no matter what ever happens…I have no doubt that this book will be filled with pictures of us together…forever."

My heart was bursting with love. I looked over at him and he smiled. I leaned over and brushed my lips against his, like I've done so many times before…and like I planned on doing for the rest of my life. And just like every time before, the electricity and warmth from his lips, coursed throughout my body and heart filling me completely. I was certain that it would always be this way.

After a soft, sweet kiss, I pulled away with a smile, "I love you, Jay."

He smiled back, "I love you too, Eddie."

I closed the book and jumped off the bed, "Be right back."

I ran down to my room and grabbed my camera. When I came back, I grabbed my Santa hat off the floor and crawled into bed next to him. I laughed, "I've got the glasses…you wear the hat."

He giggled as I placed it on his head. We brushed our cheeks together with matching grins as I held the camera out in front of us and took our picture.

I set the camera on his nightstand and he reached up and slid my glasses off, placing them next to the camera. I took the hat and threw it on the floor as he leaned me back against his pillow and kissed me.

We kissed forever until I heard the garage door open. I pulled away with an ache in my chest, "My dad's home…I better go to my bed."

He sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I guess you better."

I smiled and brushed my fingers across his cheek, "Good night, Love."

He smiled back and kissed me once more as he whispered, "Night, darlin. Sweet dreams."

Reluctantly, I pulled myself from his arms and grabbed my hat, camera, glasses, and book before heading to my room. I put the camera and glasses in my nightstand drawer and hid the book in my closet because I certainly didn't want my mom or dad to find it and wonder where the kissing pictures had been taken.

I crawled into bed and sighed happily as I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, we woke up to the wonderful smell of Christmas dinner cooking. We went downstairs and saw my mom in the kitchen working hard. Dad was still sleeping so we let him rest while we helped mom.

Later that afternoon, he woke up and we gathered around the tree to open presents. My parents had gotten us all kinds of clothes, video games, CD's, and movies. Jasper was stunned silent when he opened an electric guitar. I helped my parents pick it out for him. I figured he should have a new one after the story he told me of how he had gotten his acoustic guitar.

Apparently it belonged to one of his mother's old boyfriend's so while they were sneaking out of the house one night to leave…his mother stole everything that would fit in the car and encouraged Jasper to do the same. The only thing he grabbed was the guitar and case. He said he didn't feel bad about it because the bastard was an old pervert who used to creep by his door and watch him sleep at night. So, I wanted him to have a guitar all his own, with no bad memories attached. Besides, what could be sexier than Jasper playing an electric guitar?

_Absolutely nothing._

The last gift we both opened were matching picture frames with a picture of me, Jasper, mom, and dad at his first football game. The frames were etched with the word 'Family' across the bottom. I watched Jasper's face carefully as he studied the picture. I had a feeling that everything was getting to him a little bit. I mean, this was the first real Christmas he had since he was six years old.

I remember my first Christmas as a Cullen…as a Masen, my Christmas's were much different. With my birth parents, there was no tree, no special dinner, and no mention of Santa Claus. My mother would sometimes buy me a gift or two but not every year…my father hated Christmas because he thought it was disrespectful to God. He believed that it was just a holiday meant to spoil a child with undeserved gifts and he believed whole heartedly in Proverbs. I remember the passages he quoted quite often;

Proverbs 13:24, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."

Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child: but the rod of correction shall drive it from him."

Proverbs 23:13, "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."

He always used to say, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." And he never spared the rod.

My first Christmas after they were gone, was in the hospital. They had a guy dress as Santa come and surprise the kids…I was terrified of him and cowered under my bed for hours until some of the nurses dragged me out and sedated me.

Now as I watched Jasper…I wondered what kind of memories haunted his mind and I hoped that they weren't filled with fear as mine were, but chances are, they were filled with solitude and emptiness.

I pushed the horrid thoughts and memories from my mind, determined to make this Christmas perfect for him. We ate dinner and watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation…which Jasper also had not seen.

As the night wore down, Jasper excused himself to go to bed. My parents fell asleep shortly thereafter cuddled up on the couch so I went to go check on Jay.

I knocked softly and pushed the door open. He was sitting on his windowsill smoking a cigarette. He started to throw it out but I smiled, "It's just me, Jay."

He smiled half heartedly and sniffled. As I walked closer, I saw that his eyes were red and puffy. He wiped them with the back of his hands quickly and cleared his throat, "Hey babe. What'cha doin?"

I went and sat across from him on the other end of the windowsill, "Nothing…just wanted to see how you were doing."

He smiled again but it wasn't the wide dimpled grin I was used to seeing, "I'm fine, Edward. Everything was really perfect today, huh?"

I nodded, "Yeah…but I know that it can also make it really hard. It took me awhile to get used to it. Sometimes I find myself reflecting a lot on my parents or my time in the hospital. I wonder to myself why they did the things they did…and I try to remember good things but they are few and far between, ya know?"

He nodded and looked back out the window, "Yeah, man…I know."

I reached out and took his hand in mine and when I did, I noticed he had a picture crumpled up in his hand. I looked down and through the moonlight shining in from the window, I could see that it was of his mother.

I whispered, "You miss her?"

He sniffled again and took another drag of his cigarette, "I shouldn't…but…"

I watched as his eyes began to tear up again. He looked at me and whispered, "Why would I miss someone who didn't give a fuck about me? Your parents, Edward…your mama loved you and was gonna try and leave…your dad, he was one sick twisted fucker but in his mind he was protecting you. My mama…she didn't love me. She wanted me to hurt. Why would she be like that? What did I ever do to deserve that? She just didn't want me. So, why the fuck do I think about her sometimes? Why do I wish that I could talk to her? Why do I even want her to love me?"

I reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into me. He rested his head on my shoulder as he cried softly and I whispered as I ran my fingers through his golden curls, "I don't know, Jay. I guess it's because our parents are supposed to love and protect us. When they fail…it leaves us irreparably damaged in some ways. But we can heal over time with love and support. Jasper, I believe that your mother does love you…I just think that the drugs and alcohol have such a strong hold on her that she doesn't feel anything good anymore. She sometimes shared her drugs with you…as messed up as that is, in her mind, she was sharing something she loved with you and maybe that was the only way she could show her affection. But flesh and bone don't make a family, Jay…heart and soul do. And me and my mom and dad…we love you with all of our hearts and to the depths of our souls. You are _our _family now."

I held him tight as he cried softly. Eventually, he pulled away and blushed as he wiped his eyes again as the tears subsided, "Shit, I'm really sorry, Eddie…"

I smiled softly at him, "As many times as I have broken down on you…it means the world to me that I'm able to be here for you, Jasper…please don't ever apologize for that. You are very strong, Love…but even _you _are human. Besides, it's kind of nice being the one comforting you for a change."

He smiled and this time I saw his dimples, "Thanks, Edward. You're a lot stronger than ya give yourself credit for, ya know."

I grinned and flexed my bicep, "Well, I have been working out…"

He started laughing, "You sure have, darlin and you're lookin mighty fine."

I smiled and walked to the bathroom to get him a damp cloth. I brought it back for him and he washed his face off. He tossed it in the hamper and I suddenly got an idea, "Hey Jay?"

"Yeah, darlin?"

"You tired?"

He shook his head, "No, not really. Why?"

I looked outside as the snow fell softly to the ground, "Want to go play some ball?"

Now he laughed, "Seriously, Edward?"

I nodded, "Oh yes, my love…I am dead serious."

He grinned, "You're gonna get it, Cullen."

Now I grinned, "I certainly hope so, Whitlock."

We hopped up and threw on some sweats and coats and hats and gloves. We went downstairs and mom and dad were just waking up and heading to bed. My dad gave us a questioning look and I smiled, "We're going to go play basketball, dad. Is that okay?"

He looked at the clock and it was only 10:30pm so he shrugged, "Sure, boys…just come in at a decent hour, okay?"

We nodded and mom smiled, "Did you boys have a nice Christmas?"

I nodded and Jasper smiled at her, "It was perfect…thanks, Mama C."

_He called her mama…_

Her breathing hitched and she was quiet for a moment…before launching herself into Jasper's arms and squeezing him as she laughed, "My sweet, sweet boy…I love you so much."

When she finally let him go, my dad quirked an eyebrow at him and Jasper laughed, "Okay, Carlisle…how bout Big Daddy C?"

Dad laughed and shrugged, "Why the hell not? That's what most people call me anyway."

I wondered where my dad got his sense of humor from…but wherever he got it, I was eternally grateful.

They went to bed and we went out to the driveway. It was snowing and bitter cold but we didn't mind. The ground wasn't icy yet so we played fairly well. He was kicking my butt as usual so as he went up for a jumpshot…I grabbed his sweats and yanked them down.

He laughed as bent down and pulled them up…making sure to wiggle his cute ass to me as he did it, "You just wanted to see my tushy, huh, babe?"

I laughed, "Tushy, Jay?"

He shrugged, "I can say tushy, Edward…I'm a southern boy."

I smiled and grabbed the ball. I dribbled as he tried to block me, "So, speaking of tushy's…what was the dream about my sex hair, nice squishy ass, and peach cobbler all about?"

I watched his cheeks turn even redder than they were from the cold, "Shit…I was talkin in my sleep again, huh?"

I nodded, "Yep…"

He shrugged, "I'm a man, Eddie…I dream about food and sex, babe."

I laughed, "I dream about honey and sex…does that count?"

He smiled as he stole the ball from me and made a lay up, "Only if you're dreamin about me and honey."

He stood there dribbling as I walked up to him and grabbed the ball…I threw it in the snow bank and rubbed him through his sweatpants, "When I have good dreams, Jay…they are only of you."

He groaned and wrapped his arms around my waist before sliding his hands down the back of my sweatpants and squeezing my butt…but his hands were freezing and I jumped. This caused us to both slip on the now icy ground and fall on our asses.

We were both laughing as we sat there and I smiled, "Good thing I had a nice squishy ass to protect my fall…"

Now he smiled that wicked little smile as he rubbed his own ass, "Yeah…well, I think I broke my tushy…I could really use a house call from Dr. Love right about now…"

I smiled back and leaned over to his ear. I nibbled on it softly before whispering, "Dr. Love has the cure for what ails you…"

He moaned softly and whispered, "Grab the stethescope and meet me in my bed in ten minutes?"

I kissed his neck gently, "Make it five."

_This was the best Christmas I had ever had…and I was certain that it was only going to get better…_

**A little late…but hope ya'll had a very Merry Christmas and have a safe New Year!!!**


	20. Chapter 20

**I've got a great story to recommend…it's called Project Seduce Mr. Whitlock by rmhale. It's fanfuckingtastic so check it out…**

**Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Thanks for all the reviews, guys!**

**Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here, Coldplay - Green Eyes and Adina Howard - Buttnaked…remember that most of the songs I use are in my youtube. The link is on my profile. **

**To my hubby, thanks for inspiring a lot of what I write...except without the slashy stuff ;)**

**Jasper's POV**

Since Carlisle was still awake when we came in the house, my little session with Dr. Love got put on hold. So, I laid in bed and reflected on my first Christmas with the Cullen's. Of course, it was absolutely perfect…Esme had cooked an incredible turkey dinner with all the fixins and we ate and laughed. We watched silly Christmas movies and opened gifts. So, I couldn't understand why my mama was on my mind…it's not like we had any good Christmas's together.

But, as fucked up as my mama was…there were a couple of times that I remember having fun with her. Sometimes when she was stoned as hell, she would be playful. My mama was a huge Elvis fan and I remember once when I was 7, she put on a cassette of him and we danced around the living room…until she needed a drink anyway. I just wish I knew why she thought I messed her life up. I mean, she messed up mine too so weren't we even?

_Enough thoughts of mama's fucked up ways…let's think about Edward…_

I've said it before and I'll say it again…that boy always surprises me. Geekward…holy shit that was hot. I can't believe he did that for me…he's just…fuckin amazing sometimes…

And Carlisle and Esme…I never knew people could actually be so damn good. They haven't had perfect lives…I guess we all got our demons, but look at em now. I wanted Edward and I to always be in love just like they were. If I ever wanted to see a picture perfect example of how to love…they were it.

Now, if I can just get James outta my fuckin life…things would be perfect. I was gonna have to strike soon and figure out exactly what I needed to do to get rid of that fucker permanently…especially since Tommy was gonna be here in a few days.

I may not know the kid at all, but he was important to Emmett and Emmett was one of my best friends. If I'm anything, I'm fuckin loyal. So, Tommy was important to me by default. I was gonna try real hard to help the boy out when he got here…I hated to see anyone suffer…well, that's not entirely true but I hated when kids suffered cuz of some fucked up adult who should've known better.

I knew the name of the club that James worked at in Seattle…After Sunset. I had cased his house out a few times and knew that he lived alone but with the people running in and out all hours of the night…I figured he was still dealing. Besides, the boy had too much money and too many nice things to get them from a job at a club.

But, looking at his bank statement, he also had a joint account with James Sr. and Eileen Hunter. It was rather sizable but showed very little activity so I figured this was a joint account with his mama and papa and they must be pretty loaded.

The power of the internet is a beautiful thing and I was able to get his parents address and phone number. They lived outside of Seattle in a very wealthy neighborhood. Apparently, James was just a spoiled little rich boy pretending to be the big bad wolf. Little did he know, that I was gonna huff and puff and blow his whole fuckin world apart.

So, I figured I better start flushing out the rest of my plan and pretty damn soon cuz even though I had been teachin Edward to fight, and he was pretty damn good…I didn't wanna have to think about him defending himself against that sick fucker.

I finally fell asleep later on that night.

The next week flew by and school came round again. Edward and I were waiting outside for Emmett to pick us up. Finally, his car pulled up and we hopped in the backseat right next to another boy.

Emmett smiled and turned back towards us, "Hey guys, this is my cousin Tommy. He's in the same grade as you so maybe you can show him around a little?"

I studied Tommy as he stared out the window, listening to his Ipod and seemingly oblivious to the world. He was a real cute guy but obviously troubled. He was very thin and pale, with black curls that hung down to his chin. From the reflection in the window, I could see that he had piercing blue eyes, just like Emmett. He was dressed in a pair of baggy jeans, and a baggy t-shirt with a flannel over top.

Edward looked over at me with concern in his eyes and I just sighed and grabbed his hand and squeezed it a little. "Yeah, Em…we'll show him around."

Tommy didn't acknowledge anyone's existence. When we got to school, Emmett took him in to get him his schedule and Rosalie, Edward, and I were waiting outside the office. Rosalie smiled weakly and whispered, "Tommy's been through a lot, you guys…if you could maybe take him under your wing a bit…I just…it would mean a lot to Emmett."

We both nodded and soon they walked out of the office. We shared a few classes with him. He was in my first period English, third period History, and he shared seventh period gym with Edward and I. He was in Edward's fourth period literature class.

I walked with him to English and he never once looked up from the ground. I rattled on about stupid shit and he never once spoke to me…in fact, I had yet to hear him say one fuckin word.

_James really fucked this kid up…the mother fucker's gonna pay for this shit…_

In class, he stared out the window. I thought about introducing him to a couple people but I don't think he was ready for that yet.

When class was over, I told him I'd walk him to his next class. We walked together in silence as I stewed over how to help him. He entered the class without saying a word and I trudged off to my next class.

Class ticked on forever and when the bell finally rang, I nearly ran to my locker. Edward was pulling out some books to his next class and he smiled over at me, "Hey Jay…how are things going with Tommy?"

I sighed and yanked open my locker, "Fuck, man…he hasn't said a fuckin word…he won't look up from the god damn floor…I don't know what to do."

Edward put his hand on my shoulder and smiled softly, "I think he has some pretty deep issues, Jay…I mean, he looks sick. Maybe he just needs some time. No offense, but your personality can be a little overwhelming to someone who's really shy and quiet…maybe I'll have better luck with him."

I laughed, "Are you sayin that I'm loud?"

He giggled a little and shook his head, "No, you're not loud…just…"

I smirked, "I get it, Edward. I hope you have better luck than me. He's in my next class so we'll see how that goes."

He shut his locker and sighed, "Well, I'll swing by after class and walk with him to lit class. See you later, Jay."

"Later, Eddie."

I walked into my next class and saw him sitting in the back. I sat down at the desk next to him and noticed that he was drawing.

During class, I glanced over at the picture he had been working on and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. He was really good at drawing and the picture of him shackled to a desk, was pretty spot on.

I was pretty good at drawing so I grabbed a piece of paper and drew a hacksaw. When the teacher was turned to the chalkboard, I crumpled it up and threw it on Tommy's desk.

I watched as he uncrumpled the paper and when he saw the hacksaw…he smiled.

He never looked at me or said a word…but I did get him to smile, so I was feelin pretty good about that.

When class ended, Edward was waiting. We talked for just a second before they took off for their next class and I went to mine.

My mind just wasn't into school today so I became anxious for class to end so we could go to lunch.

When the bell rang, me, Bella, and Jake walked to lunch together and sat down with Em, Rose, and Alice. I looked around for Edward and Tommy and was growing impatient when they still hadn't arrived.

Then I heard the chanting of 'Fight' in the hallway and saw a bunch of kids start running out. I didn't think much of it until I heard someone say, "Holy shit! That's Edward Cullen!"

We all jumped up and bolted out to the hallway just in time to see Mike Newton take a swing at Edward. Every instinct I had was telling me to jump in but before I even got the chance, Edward ducked to the left and swung back on him with a vicious left hook.

I heard someone yell, "Damn…"

And I saw Mike stumble back into the lockers as Edward came at him and landed a right hook to his jaw. Mike fell down to the ground and Edward was on him…Eddie was kicking the shit outta Newton.

_Fuck…now is not the time to get wood, Jasper! But…damn…Eddie's fuckin sexy when he's kickin ass…_

I pushed my way through the crowd until I was at the front so I could drag Edward off of him but just as I reached him, so did Principal Taylor. He grabbed Edward and yanked him off of Newton but not before Edward fuckin stomped his dick. Everyone was going crazy now and several teachers arrived.

Edward ripped his self away from the Principal and yelled, "Get the fuck off of me!"

My eyes went wide and he finally turned and saw me. He was flushed and breathing heavy. And then, the little fucker smirked at me while a couple of teachers pulled him down the hallway.

I blinked a few times and tried to get my bearings. The teachers broke up the crowd in the hallway and sent us back to the lunchroom. That's when I noticed Tommy staring at Edward with shock in his eyes.

When we sat down, I had to ask, "Tommy, were you with Edward?"

He nodded as he looked down at the table.

Emmett put his hand on his shoulder and spoke quietly, "What happened, cuz?"

Tommy took a deep breath and didn't raise his eyes as he spoke in a whisper, "He was standing up for me…the ugly fat guy called me a freak and Edward…he just lost it. It's my fault he's in trouble."

I ducked my head down so I could look into his sad blue eyes, "Tommy, that wasn't your fault. Newton had it coming…let's just say you're not the first guy he's called names. Edward's had issues with that asshole before…hell, I fought the fucker a couple years ago. Newton's always getting his ass kicked."

He snickered a little and Emmett started talking to him.

I was worried about Edward. What would Carlisle do? Would he get suspended? Fuck.

I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick text.

_Hey babe…you ok? - J_

I got a text back a minute later…

_I'm ok…sitting in the principal's office waiting on dad. Tell Tommy it wasn't his fault…I hate Newton. - E_

I smiled and showed the text to Tommy and he smiled a little.

_How'd it feel? - J_

_Exhilarating! - E_

I laughed and quickly sent…

_Well, hell, Ali…that was sexy as fuck! Hope u don't get in too much trouble. Want me to kick someone's ass so I can come home with ya? - J_

_LOL! Not necessary but still sort of sweet. I think my dad may blow a gasket if we were both sent home for fighting. Have a good day and play up how cool I was to everybody! Love you, babe! - E_

_Will do, darlin…u are the coolest! Love ya too, Rocky! - J_

The rest of the day was buzzing about how Edward kicked Newton's ass. It was really funny to me that everyone thought he was a bad ass now. The bad thing was, this definitely kicked Edward's status up a notch with the girls who were fawning all over how tough he was.

I had gym with Tommy and he asked me if I thought Edward would be in big trouble with his parents. I shook my head and laughed, "Knowing Carlisle like I do…he'll probably give Edward a good scolding but when he finds out exactly what happened…he won't be too mad."

He seemed satisfied with that but still a little worried that he was the cause.

The day was finally over and before long, I was running up the steps to Edward's room. I knocked softly before pushing the door open. My beautiful bronze haired boy was lying on his stomach across his bed reading.

He looked up at me and smiled, "Hey Jay! I missed you!"

I laughed as he pulled himself up from the bed and practically ran to me. I opened my arms as he flew in them and squeezed me tightly. I squeezed him back, "Missed you too, babe."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the bed, "So, did everyone think it was cool?"

I smiled at my silly, sweet boy, "Yeah, Edward…you were the talk of the school all day, darlin."

He beamed at me, "Cool!"

I sighed, "So, how much trouble are you in?"

He sighed now and ran a hand through those bronze locks, "Well, I'm suspended for three days. Dad was mad at first but when I told him it was Newton, he remembered how much he used to bully me so he took me out for a milkshake. But then he told me I was grounded for a week because he didn't want me to think it was okay to stomp guys in their crotches."

I laughed at that because that sounded like Carlisle.

Edward smiled, "The funny thing was, the school called dad and told him that his son was in a fight and he had to come pick him up. So, when he got there and saw me waiting for him, he asked the Principal three times if he was sure it wasn't Jasper he was supposed to be getting."

I shook my head and laughed again, "Yeah, I guess he figured it'd be me fightin instead of you."

The next three days sucked without Edward at school but I had managed to get Tommy to talk a little more. I skipped pizza after the game on Friday night since Edward was grounded but he insisted that I go to Rose's on Saturday. I really didn't wanna go without him but I finally gave in.

So, on Saturday night, me, Em, Rose, Alice, and Tommy were sitting around drinking…well, Tommy wasn't drinking but the rest of us were. Brady, Jake, and Bella couldn't make it either.

After I knocked off a small bottle of vodka, I grabbed my guitar and began strumming. I groaned, "Fuck…I miss Edward."

Alice laughed, "It's one night, Jazzy…you'll see him in the morning."

I threw myself back on the couch and whined, "But I wanna see him now…I miss his lips…and his eyes…and his body…"

Now Tommy looked over at me, "Wait a minute…are you and Edward…I mean, are you, like, together?"

I was kinda surprised he hadn't picked that up already so I nodded, "Yeah…I miss my fuckin boyfriend."

He broke into a grin…the first one I had seen from him, "So…you're gay?"

I laughed, "Yep…you seem so shocked."

He smiled, "I guess I am. You don't seem gay."

I smirked, "Why? Is there a rule book or something I should be following?"

He shook his head and chuckled, "No…I just…and everyone's okay with it?"

I sat up and put my guitar to the side, "Well, we haven't come out at school yet but everyone here knows along with a few other of our close friends. They're all okay with it. Are you okay with it?"

He blushed slightly and wrapped his arms around his knees, "Yeah. I'm…um…that way too."

I smiled, "Really? I woulda never guessed."

He sighed, "Really? I thought it was pretty obvious that I'm a freak."

Now Emmett intervened, "You're not a freak, cuz. Jasper, Edward, and our friend Brady are all gay…we don't think they're freaks."

Alice smiled, "Yeah and I think I might be bi. None of us really give a shit about those stupid things. They don't change who you are. We all have our issues."

Rose laughed as she handed me a newly opened bottle, "That's the fucking truth! We're all fucked up, Tommy…we're just trying our best to make it through this teenage hell!"

We all talked a little longer and Tommy was finally starting to open up a little. I grabbed my phone and threw it to Alice, "Here, Ali…record me…I'm gonna send Eddie a video."

She giggled as she pushed the record button and I started playing the hook from "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. I sang it softly and hoped Edward would like it…

_How I wish, how I wish you were here. _

_We're just two lost souls _

_Swimming in a fish bowl,_

_Year after year, _

_Running over the same old ground. _

_What have we found? _

_The same old fears. _

_Wish you were here. _

She threw the phone back to me and I sent the video to Edward. A minute later my phone rang, "Hey darlin."

"Hey babe. I wish I was there too. Thanks for the video."

I laughed, "You're welcome, Eddie. What'cha doin?"

He sighed, "Reading…I was trying to sleep but haven't had much luck. Remind me to kick Newton's ass again for making me miss out on my alone time with you tonight."

"Now, sugar, I don't think that's such a good idea. Besides, we'll just have to make up for it next weekend."

He laughed, "You're pretty wasted, huh, Jay? You're accent is deep because of the slur."

"Well, I reckon I am pretty fucked up, darlin. So, what are you wearing?"

He giggled a little and said, "Um…your blue sweats and sweatshirt…they smell like you. Is that weird?"

I sighed with a big happy grin, "No baby…that's not weird at all. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Jay. So, um…will you do me a favor?"

"I'd do anything you asked me to, Edward."

He giggled again, "Um…will you play a song for me? It might help me sleep."

"Sure thing, darlin. Hang on…"

I grabbed my guitar and handed my phone to Tommy, "Hey man, will you hold this so I can play Edward a song?"

He took the phone with a smile, "Sure…that's really kinda sweet."

I laughed, "Yeah…I'm good at this romantic shit."

I put the guitar in my lap and spoke into my phone, "K, Eddie…this is for you babe…"

I started singing "Green Eyes" by Coldplay…

_Honey you are a rock_

_Upon which I stand_

_And I came here to talk_

_I hope you understand_

_The green eyes, _

_yeah the spotlight, _

_shines upon you_

_And how could, _

_anybody, _

_deny you_

_I came here with a load_

_And it feels so much lighter now I met you_

_And honey you should know_

_That I could never go on without you_

_Green eyes_

_Honey you are the sea_

_Upon which I float_

_And I came here to talk_

_I think you should know_

_The green eyes, _

_you're the one that I wanted to find_

_And anyone who tried to deny you, _

_must be out of their mind_

_Because I came here with a load_

_And it feels so much lighter since I met you_

_Honey you should know_

_That I could never go on without you_

_Green eyes, green eyes_

_Oh oh oh oh _

_Honey you are a rock_

_Upon which I stand _

Tommy handed me my phone and I laughed, "So, my pretty green eyed boy…didja like it?"

He sighed, "It was beautiful. Thanks, Jay. I wish I was there…"

I smiled and held the phone out so everyone could hear, "Hey guys…Eddie wishes he was here."

They all started laughing and hollering, "We miss you, Edward!"

"Jasper's a pain in the ass without you here!"

"Yeah…he just keeps whining 'Oh I miss Edward sooo much…I miss his lips and his eyes and his body…"

I smirked and put the phone back to my ear and heard Edward giggling.

"They're pickin on me, darlin."

He laughed, "Aww, babe…you tell them I said to stop picking on you or I'll have to kick some ass."

I smiled, "Edward said to stop pickin on me or he's gonna kick your asses."

Emmett laughed, "As long as he doesn't stomp me in the balls…I'm good."

I spoke back into the phone, "You'd really fight for me, huh babe?"

He laughed softly, "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Jay. I love you. You have some fun tonight…but not too much fun."

I sighed, "I love you too, Edward. Get some sleep, baby. I'll see ya in the mornin."

"Good night, Love."

_Fuck…I loved it when he called me Love…_

"Sweet dreams, darlin."

I hung up the phone with a goofy grin on my face and Alice laughed, "God, you two or so sickly sweet…I wish I had a boyfriend…or a girlfriend…or a dog that would love me unconditionally."

Tommy smiled, "Wow…you guys really love each other, huh?"

I couldn't keep that damn goofy grin off my face, "Yeah…Edward's fuckin everything to me."

My phone rang still in my hand and I flipped it open without looking, "Hey baby…miss me already?"

I heard sniffling on the other end, "Jasper? It's Brady."

"Brady? What's wrong, man?"

He sniffled again, "Are you with Emmett?"

"Yeah…what's going on?"

In a whisper he spoke, "My mom and dad…just…can someone come and get me? I don't want to be here anymore."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "Shit, man…we've all been drinkin…"

Emmett looked over, "What's going on?"

I pulled the phone away, "Something's going on with Brady…he wants us to come and get him…"

Tommy interrupted, "I haven't been drinking. I don't have a license but I have a learner's permit."

Emmett sighed, "You cool to drive?"

He nodded so I spoke back to Brady, "Where ya at, man?"

He sniffled, "I'm at home. Just park down the street…I'll come out."

I jumped up and grabbed my coat, "Alright, Brady…we're on our way."

"K…thanks."

"Yeah, man. We'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone and we all piled in Em's car. Me and Tommy in the front, so I could give him directions and Alice, Rose, and Em in the back.

About fifteen minutes later, we pulled alongside the road and waited. I saw him walking down the dimly lit street in my side view mirror. I hopped out and when I saw him…I couldn't help the soft, "Fuck…" that left my lips.

He was looking down at the ground but I could see the side of his face was bruised badly. Before I could say anything he whispered, "Please Jasper…let's just get out of here."

I nodded and he slid in next to Tommy and then I got back in. Emmett put his hand on Brady's shoulder, "Hey man…this is my cousin Tommy. Tommy, this is Brady."

They both just gave each other a small nod and we drove the rest of the way back to Rose's in silence.

Once we got back, we all made our way downstairs and sat down. Brady still wouldn't look up and finally Emmett sighed and pulled his chin up. We all gasped when we saw his face.

His eye was black and the right side of his face was bruised. His lip was busted too and he wasn't wearing his glasses.

Emmett spoke softly, "What happened, Brady?"

Brady started crying again and Rose went and grabbed a box of tissues.

He finally started speaking quietly, "I met a guy yesterday…and um…I got his number but I didn't have my phone so he wrote it down on a piece of paper. My mom found it in my jeans when she was doing the laundry. My dad went ballistic. They told me I wasn't welcome in their home anymore…that I was dead to them. They kicked me out and when I tried to pack up some of my stuff…they told me that nothing belonged to me. I walked around for awhile and after they fell asleep, I snuck back in and got my phone and called you. They hate me. I have no one anymore."

He was now crying hard as Alice and Rose tucked him in-between them and let him sob. I sighed, "I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette…be back in a minute."

As I started to walk up the stairs, Tommy came up behind me, "Hey man, can I…um…bum one?"

I nodded, "Yeah man."

We walked outside to the cement bench in the garden and lit up our squares. My mind was reeling for Brady. I felt so damn bad for that kid. We had to figure some way to help him out.

After a minute, Tommy sighed, "That poor kid…why do parent's have to be such assholes?"

I shook my head, "Fuck, man…wish I knew. Brady's such a good guy…he doesn't deserve this shit."

He looked out over the garden and sighed, "My parents sent me away too. I was in a bad relationship and I didn't handle things very well. They said they couldn't deal with me anymore so Em begged his dad to let me stay and finish out school here."

I took a deep breath, "Em's a really good guy. We're all glad you're here."

He looked over at me and smiled half heartedly, "Really? I mean, I'm not intruding on your little group thing?"

I laughed softly, "No, man…sometimes, all we have is each other so it's kinda nice to add someone else in the mix."

He smiled now, "So…Brady seems really sweet."

I smiled back, "He is. He's pretty cute too."

I watched as Tommy blushed a bit, "Yeah…he's not my usual type…but my usual type gets me into trouble so maybe that's a good thing. Too bad he met somebody already."

I smiled, "It's just a number, man…Brady's still fair game."

He chuckled a bit then sighed, "Nah…I should probably stay far away…everything I touch turns to shit. I don't think I'm ready for anything right now anyway."

I threw out my cigarette and stood up, "Well, he could always use another friend, Tommy. Then if it becomes more…great…but if not, at least you have a good friend."

He smiled and threw his cigarette out, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

We made our way back downstairs and saw Brady downing a glass of crown and coke. Alice had his glasses and it looked like she was fixing them for him. I plopped down next to her on the couch, "You think you can save them?"

She smiled over at me, "Yeah, the lens is just popped out. I can fix it."

Brady was now giggling a little as the alcohol began to take effect, "Where's Edward?"

I smiled, "Grounded…he got into a fight at school."

He started laughing hysterically, "Edward was fighting?! So, Jay…are you going into withdrawals yet?"

I smirked, "Funny. And yeah, I kinda am."

He sighed, "I wish someone loved me the way you love him."

That reminded me, "So, man…what's with this guy you met?"

He smiled as he began sipping another glass, "Um…he's really good looking and nice…I was walking home from school and he drove by and then came back and stopped. He recognized me from the Halloween party."

I frowned, "What's his name?"

He giggled and blushed, "Um…James…he said he thought I was cute but you were talking to me so he thought I was off limits…"

I jumped up now, "Oh hell no, Brady! You're not going near that fucker…"

Then Tommy was next to Brady, "What's he look like?"

Brady looked confused, "Um…long blonde hair…brown eyes…"

Tommy just shook his head as his eyes began to tear. The next thing I knew, he was running to the bathroom and puking his head off in the toilet.

Emmett went to go help him out and I sat down next to Brady, "Listen, man…that guy is really bad news. I think he might just be goin after you to get back at me…"

He shook his head, "What? No…he really likes me…why is it so hard to believe that someone would actually like me? Am I that repulsive?"

I sighed, "No, Brady…that's not what I meant…it's just that we've had some beef and he's threatened to come after me and he's been fuckin with Edward. He left fuckin bruises on him, man."

Now he took a deep breath and closed his eyes while he whispered, "He hurt Edward?"

I nodded, "Yeah he did. Em and Rose were there if ya don't believe me."

He looked up at me through glassy eyes, "I believe you. Why…why would…shit, am I an easy target?"

I shook my head, "No, man…you're just the type of guy he likes…young, cute, shy…he's a bad guy, Brady. Please promise to stay away from him."

Just then Tommy and Emmett walked out of the bathroom. Em was seething as he sat down by Brady, "You will not go near that son of a bitch, Brady! I will fucking kill him first, do you understand?!"

Brady was starting to cry again as he nodded. Emmett's face softened and he pulled him into a hug as he whispered, "Shit, man…I'm sorry for yelling…I just…I feel like I gotta protect you, Brady…you're my little dude."

Brady chuckled a little through his soft sobs. He eventually pulled away and wiped his eyes as he blushed, "Sorry."

Em smiled and rustled his hair, "Don't be."

He smiled now as he looked up at Em, "So, I'm your little dude?"

Emmett laughed, "Fuck yeah you are. You're my friend, Brady…and I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you."

Tommy was still standing there with a flushed tear stained face. His voice was quiet when he spoke, "Um…Brady? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Brady looked over at him surprised, "Sure."

Tommy looked around for a minute and sighed, "Um…can we maybe go into one of the rooms to talk?"

Brady hopped off of the chair, "Okay, Tommy."

I was kinda surprised when Tommy held out his hand for Brady. He was looking at the ground as he did it.

Brady looked at his hand and blushed before taking it. Tommy grabbed the bottle of Crown from the counter, "We…um…may need this."

They walked into one of the bedrooms and shut the door.

I let out a breath of air I had been holding, "Shit, Em…is Tommy okay?"

He sighed as he downed a shot of Jack…then another one, "Fuck man, I don't know. Tonight's the first time I've seen him actually talk to anybody all fucking week. He used to be so different. He was always laughing…he looked up to me. He used to follow me around and I just blew him off cuz I always had better shit to do. I didn't protect him…I'll be damned if I'm gonna fail Brady."

I poured me out a shot of Jack and downed it. I cleared my throat, "So, I think I know of a way to get rid of that fuckin James."

Everyone's eyes shot up to me and I cleared my throat, "Well, I've been kinda casing his house…I think he still deals. I found his parents and did a little research on them. They're real high society folks…his dad is a member of some real conservative organizations. I don't think his parents know he's gay or know anything about his extracurricular activities."

Alice smiled, "And how do you know that, Jazzy?"

I smiled my wicked little smile, "I called them."

Rose started laughing, "You did what?"

I laughed, "Yeah, I called and asked his mom if she knew how I could get hold of him…I told her that I was his boyfriend and that I found a picture of him with my best friend…who was 14 years old. She said he was engaged to a girl named Victoria but I saw her at his house all cuddled up with a guy named Laurent so I think that's just a front they use."

Emmett smiled, "So, what are you thinking about doing?"

I poured another shot and played with the glass a minute, "Well…I'm thinking that maybe since Brady's involved now that we could set James up. Maybe have him come meet Brady with a bunch of different drugs on him…individually baggied cuz we could have Brady tell him that he wants to buy something but he don't really know nothing about drugs and what sizes they come in. Brady's innocent enough to pull that off. Then when he comes, I kick his ass…the cops come and find the drugs on him."

Alice frowned, "Wait…won't you get in trouble for fighting too?"

I shrugged, "Probably but it won't be nothing big. But I was thinkin we could have him come to pick Brady up close by the school that way when he's hit…he'll be hit not only with possession but possession with intent to sell cuz of the individual baggies. Plus if we can get it to happen within 500 yards of the school, that's more time. Depending on what he brings, you're looking at least 20 years with those charges. Also, that will give them probable cause to search his house and see what else they can find."

Em shook his head, "He's got pictures and movies at his house…I'm sure he's got some of Tommy. What if it gets out?"

I sighed and downed my shot, "Well, Tommy probably knows his house better than any of us do…maybe he knows a way to get in and where that shit might be. If I could find out when James is gonna be working, I could break in and get the stuff…but he works at a club in Seattle and you have to be 18 to get in so I can't hustle the schedule off anybody…"

Alice snickered, "I have a fake ID. I could do it."

I raised an eyebrow, "You sure bout that, darlin?"

She smiled, "Yeah, besides, he doesn't know me so he wouldn't think anything of me being in the club. I'm crafty, Jazz…I'm sure I could find out his schedule."

"When do ya wanna go?"

She thought for a moment, "How about next Saturday? You and me can go and just meet everyone back here when we're done."

I nodded and Em spoke, "When you go to his house, Jay…I'm coming with you."

I shook my head, "No, man…the less people the better."

He frowned, "Fuck that…I'm going. I'll keep a lookout or something but I'm fucking going."

I sighed, "Alright, Em."

I yawned and stretched…tonight had been fuckin exhausting. "I'm goin to bed, ya'll. See ya in the mornin."

I went to the room that Edward and I usually shared and laid down across the blankets. I was drunk and lonely. I grabbed my phone and had to fight with myself not to call him…he was probably asleep anyway.

After awhile, I passed out.

I woke up to my phone ringing and quickly answered it, "Babe?"

I heard him sniffle and I looked over at the clock. It was a little after 3am. "Edward…it's okay, baby. Didja have a nightmare?"

He sniffled again, "Yeah…sorry to call you so late…"

I cleared my throat as it was thick with sleep, "S'okay, darlin. You can always call me. Ya wanna talk about it?"

"Um…no…I just…I really needed to hear your voice…make sure you're okay."

I smiled, "Yeah, baby, I'm okay…I was missin you like crazy."

He chuckled a little, "Really?"

"Yeah, Edward…I'd give anything to have you lyin next to me right now."

He laughed softly with a little sniffle, "I'd give anything to be with you right now too. I miss you so much."

I couldn't help the smile that was permanently plastered to my face, "I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Jay. So, what were _you _dreaming about?"

I laughed now and then became very aware of my mornin wood. I reached down and started rubbing myself through my jeans, "Hmm…I was dreamin of makin love to you, Edward."

I heard his breathing hitch and he whispered, "Tell me."

"Well, we were alone at the house for the weekend. We were in your room and you told me you wanted me…"

He sighed and in his beautiful sexy voice he whispered, "I want you, Jasper."

I moaned softly, "I want you too, Edward. So, then I started undressin you…slowly pulling your shirt over your head…tuggin down your jeans and boxers until you were completely naked and fuck, baby…you're so fuckin beautiful…"

He moaned softly, "I love your fucking accent, Jay…God, you're so fucking sexy, baby…"

I whispered, "Take your clothes off, darlin…touch yourself for me…"

He whispered back, "You too, Jay…lose the clothes."

We both took a minute to get undressed and I crawled back in under the blankets this time. I put the phone back to my ear, "You ready, Edward?"

He giggled, "I'm always ready when it comes to you, Jay."

I started slowly working my hand up and down my hard shaft as I spoke in a breathless whisper, "I laid you down and crawled on top of you…I kissed you hard and deep as my hands ran all over your body, baby…"

He groaned softly and I closed my eyes at the sound, "More, Jay…"

I swirled my hand around the wetness at the tip of my cock and continued working myself over, "I began trailing my tongue down your neck…and around your nipples as I nipped at them…I went further down your tight abs until I was in-between your legs…

He moaned, "Suck my dick, Jasper…please baby…"

"God damn, Edward…I licked the tip of your big hard cock before taking you all the way down my throat…I sucked your dick hard and fast…just how I know you like it…"

He groaned, "Keep going, baby…"

I took a deep breath to try and keep myself calm long enough to finish this, "You cum deep down my throat, darlin…and then I continue running my tongue down along your shaft…I nip and lick your balls…then I trail down and lick your tight little hole to get you good and wet so I can fuck you properly…"

"Oh God Jay…fuck me, baby…I need to feel your big hard cock moving inside of me…"

My dick is throbbing and I know I'm getting close.

I lick my lips and whisper, "Once I know you're ready for me…I position my big dick at your tight little ass and slowly start pushing the head in…you're so fuckin tight and hot around my cock, baby…"

"You feel so good, Jay…more baby…give me more…"

I'm seeing stars now behind my closed eyes and I can barely get out, "I push my dick all the way inside you, Edward…we're finally connected all the way, baby…I'm hovering above you, lookin into those pretty green eyes of yours as I fuck your tight ass…slow and soft at first until you're beggin me for more…"

He moans loudly, "More, Jay…more…"

I'm pumping my aching cock with a fuckin vengeance now as I moan, "I'm gripping your hips and pounding into you, baby…your ass is slapping against my thighs and you're screamin out my fuckin name…oh fuck…I'm gonna cum, Edward…"

I hear him moan out, "Jasper…oh god, Jay…I'm…gonna…cum, baby…"

I cum hard all over my stomach and I'm lying there panting. I can hear him panting on the other end.

After I get my breathing under control, I whisper, "I love you, Edward."

And I now notice that the panting has turned into soft snoring. I giggle, "Edward?"

He mumbles something I can't understand and continues snoring. I laugh as I reach down and grab my shirt to wipe myself off.

_He always falls asleep after he cums…_

I can't wipe the grin off my face as I snuggle up to the phone and fall asleep to his familiar sounds…

_I hope I get to hear this sound every night for the rest of my life…_


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks so much for all of the reviews! They mean a lot to me!**

**Closer by Kings of Leon**

**Edward's POV**

My eyes fluttered open and when I raised up out of bed, there was something sticking to my cheek. I reached up and peeled the phone away and heard Jasper on the other end mumbling about fried chicken and cornbread…

_It's always food and sex with him…I can't believe I fell asleep on the phone…good thing it's free for us to call each other because dad would kill us…_

I stretched and yawned. I whispered, "Jay? Wake up, Love…"

He mumbled, "gotta keep the ants off the potato salad…"

I giggled, "Jasper? Baby, wake up…"

His breathing hitched and he groaned, "Hmm? Is that you, Edward?"

His voice was rough and thick with sleep as his accent came out heavy.

I giggled again, "Good morning, Love."

He groaned again, "Where ya at, babe? Don't see ya anywhere…didja cover the potato salad?" and then he was snoring softly again.

I laughed and spoke a little louder, "Yes, babe…I covered the potato salad."

He mumbled, "Good…thanks babe…god damn ants…"

Now I was laughing hysterically, "Jasper! Wake up!"

He snorted and coughed then I think he dropped the phone because I heard a thud, some shuffling and a few curse words in the distance. I finally heard, "Edward? You there, babe?"

I was still laughing, "Yeah, Jay…I'm here."

He yawned and mumbled, "Shit…what did I say now?"

I calmed myself down and relayed the importance of keeping the ants out of the potato salad and he giggled.

Then as I went to get out of bed, I noticed I was sticky and crusty as a few of my pubes got pulled out. I yelped and Jasper spoke hurriedly, "Edward? What's wrong?"

I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn, "Um…I'm sticky and kind of crusty and now sporting a few less pubic hairs."

He started laughing and I whined, "It's not funny, Jay…I've never woken up like this before…"

His laughter broke a little as he chuckled, "That's cuz I always clean you up after you pass out, darlin…as soon as you get off…you fall asleep."

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed as my cheeks felt on fire, "Oh…um…I guess that would explain it."

Once his laughter calmed down he said, "Don't be embarrassed, Eddie…we all got our quirks…"

I smiled and giggled a little, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Go take a shower, darlin. I'm gonna go take mine and I'll see ya in a couple hours."

I carefully rolled out of bed, "Okay, Jay. Love you."

"Love you too, babe."

I hung up the phone and took a long hot shower. I laid around for a little while and started writing in my journal. Dr. Greene thought it would be a good idea for me to start writing down my random thoughts and musings as a way of getting things out of my head. I didn't pay much attention to what I wrote…I simply let my mind move the pen.

Finally, I heard the soft knock on my door and I rolled over on my side to see Jasper standing there with a beautiful dimpled grin, "Hey Eddie."

I smiled, "Hey Jay."

He walked over and laid down next to me on his stomach, "What'cha writin, Edward?"

I pushed the journal over to him and shrugged, "Nothing really…just something Dr. Greene suggested I do…just getting the thoughts in my mind out."

He read a few passages and sighed, "God, Edward…your mind is so fuckin beautiful…"

I blushed and rolled over on my back, "I'd hardly call my mind beautiful, Jay…my mind manifests visions that aren't really there…makes me hear and see things that don't exist…my mind is all messed up."

He raised up and put his arms on either side of my face as he looked down at me with those soft baby blue eyes, "Baby…your mind is incredible. I wish I could write the way you do…you're really talented, Edward."

I smiled up at him as I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thanks, Jay."

He smiled back and then leaned down to give me a soft sweet kiss. We talked for awhile and he told me what happened with Brady. I felt so bad for him. I wouldn't know what to do if my parents had rejected me the way they did him. So, I pulled out my phone to call and check on him.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Brady."

"Hi Edward."

"I'm so sorry about what happened. How are you today? Is there anything I can do to help?"

He sighed, "No, thanks though. Actually, Em drove me over to Uncle Billy's house today and he and Jacob talked to my mom. I guess, they agreed to let me stay with Uncle Billy since Jake told them that he'll try to straighten me out. Of course, he was just saying what they wanted to hear. Em and Jake just left to go and get my stuff."

I let out a breath, "Well, that's good then, Brady. Are you going to be going to school with us then?"

"Um…yeah."

I smiled, "That's great. You'll have all of your friends with you everyday. We're all here for you, you know that."

He giggled a little, "Yeah, I'm looking forward to that."

"So, you and Tommy? Any sparks?"

He full out laughed now, "I wouldn't exactly say sparks but…um…we have a lot in common and he's really nice. I think he'll be a good friend. Maybe something will come of it but if not, I'm just really happy to have another friend."

"That's great, Brady. Well, I guess I'll go. I just wanted to check on you."

He sighed, "Thanks, Edward. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, Brady. Bye."

I told Jay about Brady and he felt better about the whole thing. I was really thankful for Jake and Billy, at least he had some family to support him.

The next day at school was great. Brady started and we had a lot of classes together so it was cool to finally have one of the members of the gang with me throughout the day. Tommy was opening up a little more and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. He reminded me a lot of Emmett only a little more quiet and reserved.

Emmett was still the biggest shock to me. I mean, if you saw the guy coming at you, you would be scared senseless because he looks so big and scary…but in reality, he was one of the sweetest most sensitive guys I had ever known. He watched out for Brady and Tommy and I was glad we all had a big brother figure like him.

The weekend finally came and I was so happy to be off punishment. Saturday night came round and we were all sitting around Rosalie's house waiting on Alice. Finally, she showed up and she was dressed to kill in a tight red little dress and matching heels.

Jasper let out a whistle, "Hot damn, girl! If I was into chicks, I'd be all over you like white on rice."

She smiled and did a little twirl, "Thanks, Jazzy."

I smiled at her, "What are you so dolled up for, Alice?"

She began jumping up and down like the little hyper midget she was, "Jazzy and I are going to a club tonight…"

_What?_

I turned to Jasper who was cringing, "Wait…what? What's she talking about?"

Jasper sighed and pulled his hand through his golden curls, "We're goin to a club in Seattle. I'm not goin in or anything…it's a long story, Edward."

I was getting more than a little upset, "Well? Were you planning on telling me? It appears that everyone else here knows what's going on…"

He groaned, "Yeah, I was gonna tell you…"

I wanted to stomp my foot but I just sat down and folded my arms across my chest, "So tell me now."

He sat down next to me and put his arm around me, "Baby…I don't want you to freak out, okay?"

I turned to look at him, "Quit trying to soften me up and tell me what's going on."

He groaned again, "Fine…"

He proceeded to tell me about his plan to get revenge on James. I listened patiently until he was done…and then I exploded.

I jumped off the couch and glared at him, "Jasper! What the hell, man?! Do you think you're fucking 007?! Don't do this!"

He jumped up and yelled back, "Quit fuckin yellin at me! I'm gonna do this, Edward! It's either this or I'm goin to his house and fuckin him up there!"

I was livid and frustrated and worried beyond belief. I somehow managed to get my voice calmed down just a little, "Jay, this is not a fight you need to have. If you think he's dealing drugs or doing something with kids, then call the cops. This is not a movie or some little fantasy world you're playing in, Jasper! This is reality and so many things could go wrong! One little intangible that you didn't count on, could blow your whole plan to pieces!"

He grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and took a swig. I went over and ripped the bottle from his hands, "Oh, that'll make everything all better, Jay! Take another drink because that helps all your problems go away! Fucking talk to me! Tell me why I should let you do this!"

He scowled at me as his eyes narrowed and the look in his eyes, caused me to shudder, "_Let _me? Since when the fuck do I have to ask for permission to do something? In case you haven't noticed, I got no mama and daddy…I'll do whatever the fuck I wanna do when I wanna fuckin do it. Do you understand me, Edward?"

I shook my head as my own anger boiled to the edge, "No, I don't fucking understand at all! You promised me you would never do anything to get you taken away from me. You swore that this part of you…the sneaky, vengeful, I don't give a fuck Jasper was supposed to be dead and buried. One little fuck up, Jay…just one little thing goes wrong…and you're gone. You're in jail or hurt or taken away from me somehow. Is revenge worth losing me?"

He sighed and jumped up on the counter. He sat there with his head buried in his hands, "This is why I didn't wanna get you involved, man."

I pulled his hands from his face and looked into his eyes and pleaded, "Jasper…you hold my heart…my whole life, is in your hands. If you're involved, I'm involved by default."

His eyes softened and he let out a breath, "I'm doin this for you, Edward. He hurt you. Lord knows what the fucker is gonna try and pull. I have to do something."

I sighed, "You say you're doing this for me and I am begging you, Jasper…please don't do this."

He jumped off the counter and shook his head, "I'm not makin any promises, Edward. I'm goin with Alice tonight."

Now I did stomp my foot, "Why are you so damn stubborn?!"

He just walked past me and muttered, "C'mon, Ali."

She turned and looked at me with sad eyes as she mouthed, 'Sorry.' She followed him out as I stood there dumbstruck.

I turned to Emmett, "Why didn't you try and talk him out of this? You know this is a bad idea!"

He just shook his head and whispered, "I'm sorry, Edward…this is personal for me. I'm going to be with him when the shit goes down."

I threw up my hands in frustration and yelled out, "Fuck!"

Then I took off running up the stairs and out the front door. The car was already gone. I screamed again and pulled out my phone. I called his number and cursed under my breath that he better answer the damn phone.

"What, Edward?"

_Asshole!_

"Jasper…turn the car around and come back and get me."

He sighed, "No."

I was really pissed now, "Turn the fucking car around and come back for me right now! I may not be your father but I'm your fucking boyfriend and if you want it to stay that way, you better turn the god damn car around right now! Do _you _understand _me_, Jasper?!"

He growled, "Fuck! God damnit Edward! Alice, turn the fucking car around…we're going back for Edward."

_Finally, I win at something…_

He growled again, "Fuckin happy now, Edward?"

I sighed, "No, not really. I love you, Jasper."

And then I hung up the phone and waited for them. A few minutes later, they pulled down the drive and I hopped in the back seat. Alice was driving and she tried talking to us but neither of us was budging. She finally just turned on the radio and sang the whole way there.

When we finally got to the club, she parked out on the street.

"Okay, boys…kiss and make up while I'm gone. Be back in a little while." She jumped out of the car and made her way inside the club.

Jasper was in the front seat with his head lying back and eyes closed. We were quiet. After about an hour, I fell asleep.

I woke up gasping for air as tears fell from my eyes. Jasper was in the backseat now with his hands on my face and whispering, "Breathe, darlin…everything's okay…"

I couldn't catch my breath as I went into a panic attack. The rain was pounding on the roof of the car and I desperately needed to feel it against my skin. I thrashed my arms and ripped myself away from him as I jumped out of the car.

I fell to my knees on the cold, hard pavement and began sucking in air…

_It was just a dream, Edward…it wasn't real…_

He was kneeling in front of me with his hands on my arms. When I lifted my head to look at him, lightening flashed and I saw his wings.

_It's not real…there are no wings…your mind is playing tricks again, Edward…_

I closed my eyes and threw my arms around his neck…I couldn't stop my hands from reaching out for his imaginary wings and trying to feel the softness against my fingertips.

Once I felt nothing, I opened my eyes. He pulled away and held my face in his hands. His eyes were searching mine as he whispered, "Edward?"

I nodded, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…"

He pulled me into his chest and held me for a moment while I calmed down. Eventually, he stood and helped me up. He took my face in his hands again as the rain poured down all around us.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I should've told you everything from the beginning. I love you so much. Please don't be mad at me."

And in this moment, I just needed to feel him so I tangled my hands in his hair and pulled his lips to mine…not ready to talk, only to feel.

He let out a breath he had been holding and his sweet scent washed over me. I parted my lips as his tongue pushed its way in and let me taste him…making everything okay.

His hands were on my hips and a moment later, my back crashed against the car as he kissed me hungrily. I moaned into his mouth as my hands tugged at his wet t-shirt. His arms went around my waist and his hands cupped my ass as he lifted me onto the hood of the car.

My legs wrapped around him and I locked my ankles above his ass, pulling him into me. He moaned now as his hands found their way to my hair, tugging and pulling at the wet locks.

I felt him harden through his jeans and I yanked myself into him to make sure he felt me too.

He pulled away gasping and shivering, "Edward…let's get in the car, baby."

I nodded and unlocked my ankles. I jumped off the hood of the car as he opened the back door for me. I crawled in and he crawled in next to me.

He reached up to the front and cranked up the heat. Then he smiled at me as he laid me down across the back seat. He was cold and wet but his body against mine produced an inferno.

He kissed me again, his lips scorching mine as my body heated up from the inside out. And then I felt his hands pop open the button of my jeans. I pulled away from the kiss with a shaky breath, "Jay…we're in a car…"

He smiled down at me, "I'll be fast, Eddie…"

I was already panting as I sat up with my head resting against the door window. He quickly unzipped my jeans and I felt his cool, long fingers reach in and wrap around my cock.

I moaned as me head fell back against the window and my eyes closed of their own will. I felt his body weight shift and when I opened my eyes, he was in-between my legs. A moment later, his warm, wet mouth engulfed me.

"Oh God Jay…"

One of my hands held onto the headrest of the seat in front of me while my other hand tangled in his wet golden curls. His mouth and tongue moved up and down my hard shaft over and over…sucking hard as my toes began to curl.

He was grunting around my cock and his tongue swirled around the head as he sucked it gently before plunging back down, rough and deep.

I was moaning now, completely incoherent to anything else but the pleasure he was giving me.

"Ugh…Jasper…just like that, baby…feels so good…don't stop, baby…don't ever fucking stop…"

I looked down at those wet curls as they bounced lightly and fell into his eyes. I swept my hand across them to move them out of the way of his beautiful face. His eyes opened and found mine.

Then I felt his teeth softly dragging along my throbbing cock as he winked at me…I exploded.

"Fuuuuck!"

_God…he's so damn good at that…he knows exactly what I like…_

He swallowed hard around me as I trembled and shook beneath him. Once I was reduced to a gooey puddle of mush…he lifted his head and quickly tucked me back into my jeans. He pulled up the zipper and buttoned the button.

He sat up next to me and I reached down for his jeans but he just grabbed my hand, "No, darlin…that was just about you. Just let me hold you…please?"

I nodded and curled into his chest. He held me tight and safe in his arms as he whispered, "Am I forgiven?"

I smirked up at him, "You don't exactly fight fair, Jay."

He laughed softly and brushed his fingertips across my forehead, pushing the wet hair back, "In all fairness, Edward…you've always known that I fight a little dirty."

I knew that I wasn't winning this fight tonight so I just sighed, "I'm not happy about it, Jasper. The whole idea scares the hell out of me but I know that you're going to do what you want regardless so can I just ask you for one thing?"

He nodded and I took a deep breath, "Just give it some time…really think this thing through…and please don't leave me out anymore. I know you think you're protecting me but it makes me feel bad to think that you're keeping things from me. You shouldn't keep anything from me…ever…I love you, Jasper."

He sighed, "I love you too, Edward. I promise to give it a little time, okay? And I promise to never keep anything from you again."

He leaned down and kissed me again. Then the front door opened and Alice jumped in, "Thank God, you two made up. I hate to see a couple as cute as you, fighting."

I glanced at the clock and it was nearly 2 in the morning, "Jeez Ali…you were in there almost three hours…"

She turned around and smiled, "I know, sorry, but I met the most fantastic woman!"

I pulled myself from Jasper's lap as he leaned up and rested his elbows on the seats in front of us, "Really? That's great, Ali."

She was bouncing up and down in her seat as she pulled out her phone and shoved it at us, revealing a picture of a pretty little blonde who looked to be just a few inches taller than her.

"She's really pretty, Alice," I smiled up at her and she clapped her hands in excitement.

"I know, right! Her name is Jane and her uncle owns the club. She just turned 21 last month so her uncle gave her a job as a bartender here while she goes to school. She's so funny and really sweet. She said I was the prettiest girl she's ever seen in real life!"

Jasper laughed and tousled her hair, "Well, she's got good taste, darlin. So, didja find out anything about James?"

She jumped and pulled out a piece of paper from her purse, "Oh, yeah…here's his schedule for the next three months."

Jasper took the paper in his hands and laughed, "Jeez, woman…you were right…you _are _crafty."

She laughed, "Yeah, Jane gave it to me. I told her that he knocked up my best friend before he figured out he was gay and now he won't pay child support. She has a 2 year old daughter so she handed me over the schedule without any fight at all. I told her that I was just trying to get some information to help out my friend."

I laughed, "You're diabolical, Alice."

She smiled, "Yeah…I'm the shit."

We made our way back to Rose's house and Alice was rattling on the whole time about Jane. Apparently, they had made plans to meet up for lunch tomorrow and she needed a few hours to figure out what to wear.

By the time we got back, Rose and Emmett had retired to their room and Tommy and Brady were watching 'Revenge of the Nerds' on TBS. We talked for a little bit before Jay dragged me off to bed.

The next few weeks were great, we all fell back into our old routine and Tommy was really coming along. Him and Brady had become close friends and Brady had confided in me that he really liked Tommy. He told Tommy that he liked him and he told him he liked him too but he just wasn't ready for anything more…yet. I was hopeful that they would eventually get together.

Jasper had made a doctor appointment to get tested for everything so I took that as a good sign that he was getting closer to being ready. I mean, seriously, if I had to wait much longer, I was going to go insane.

I decided to get myself checked out too so he wouldn't have to go through this alone. We went together to get our results and we both let out a sigh of relief when we came back clean. My dad was actually proud of us for being responsible enough to want to keep each other safe and for coming to him. Of course, he still talked up the importance of waiting until we were older and more responsible…blah, blah, blah. I would jump Jasper right this moment if he gave me the okay.

Dad took us to get our learner permits and we both passed the test on the first try. He was taking us out practicing today in his SUV.

"Okay, who wants to go first?" he smiled as he hopped out of the driver's seat. As much as I wanted to drive…the thought of screwing up in front of Jasper was a little nerve wracking.

Luckily, Jay jumped at the chance. I sat in the back and Jasper hopped in the driver's seat. Dad sat in the passenger seat to instruct, "Okay, son…the left is the brake…"

Jasper gave him a sheepish grin, "Um…Carlisle? I kinda already…"

My dad cut him off with a raised eyebrow, "You already know how to drive, don't you son?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

Dad sighed and shook his head, "I don't want to know, do I son?"

Jasper shook his head and grinned, "No, probably not."

Dad put on his seatbelt , "Okay…let's see what you've got."

Jasper buckled his seatbelt and adjusted his mirrors. Then he started the car and just…started driving…like it was frickin second nature to him.

_Damn perfect boyfriend who knows how to do every damn thing…_

When it was my turn, I was even more nervous due to Jasper's stellar driving abilities. I kept giving it too much gas and then slamming on the brakes. I guess I was afraid of it…I mean, you have a lot of power when you're behind the wheel of a car.

When I ran over a median at McDonald's, my dad decided to call it a day. We went inside and ate and while dad was in the bathroom, I leaned over and whispered, "Okay, Jay…where'd you learn to drive like that?"

He gave me his wicked little grin that turned my insides all gooey as he whispered, "Mama's ex-boyfriend…he'd steal cars and strip them. He taught me how to drive when I was twelve…just in case."

I just shook my head and muttered, "…only damn thing you ever learned from your parents was how to be a good criminal…"

He just shrugged and took a bite of his Big Mac.

A month had passed since all the talk about revenge on James and I was happy that it seemed to be pushed under the table. Lord knows I didn't need that kind of stress and worry in my life.

We only had a couple weeks until spring break and the gang was busy making plans for pool parties and barbecue's at Rose's house. We were sitting at the lunch table laughing and having fun when my phone signaled that I had a text.

I pulled it out and opened it…it was a picture of me and Jasper kissing that night outside the club.

I gasped and Jasper put his hand on my shoulder, "What's wrong…" then his phone went off. He pulled it out and looked. And then I noticed, phone's were going off all around the lunch room.

It felt like everything was in slow motion as the students looked at their phones and then over at us in shock. People began whispering and laughing. I could feel my heart begin to race…voices became muffled and I begin to gasp for air.

Jasper's hands were on my shoulders, "Calm down, Edward…it's gonna be okay…you gotta breathe…"

But how could I? We had just been outed to the entire school. I wasn't ready for this. I couldn't handle this. Who would do this?

Paul and Embry grabbed their trays and stood. Paul looked away and muttered, "Sorry Jasper…I can't be seen with a queer."

And Embry added, "Yeah…that's just gross, man."

Jasper's mouth dropped open and I knew that he was hurt. They were some of the first friends he made here, besides me.

Some people walked by and whispered, "I knew Edward was a freak but I can't believe he dragged Jasper down with him…so sad…"

My head was spinning. I had to get out of here. I jumped up and ran out of the lunchroom. A moment later, I was wrapped in two big burly arms as Emmett whispered, "Fuck them, Edward. You've got your friends. To hell with what they think."

I turned in his arms and he let me go. My little circle of friends was surrounding me, telling me that everything was going to be okay. But how could they know that?

Jasper pulled me in his arms as I shook. I closed my eyes tight when I began seeing shadows streaking by. I was trembling as my knees went weak. I hung on to Jasper with everything I had and whispered, "Please make it stop, Jay…make it all go away…please…"

He whispered against my cheek, "I can't undo this, Edward. We're out. The only thing we can do now is face it."

He pulled away and held my face and I could see the anger in his eyes, "Edward, you are too strong and have been through too much to let these mother fuckers break you. They don't like it, tough fuckin shit. I ain't goin nowhere…we're in this together. We're gonna walk back in that fuckin lunchroom and show them bastards that they can't break us. I'm gonna be right by your side, darlin, but we gotta handle this shit right fuckin now."

I shook my head, "I can't…I can't go back to being the town freak again…I won't survive, Jasper…"

Bella spoke now, "Edward, you're not in this alone. We are your friends and we are all going to stick by you…it's not like it was before…"

Emmett put his hand on my shoulder, "Besides, no one's going to touch you with me and Jay around…"

And Jasper looked back at me with deep, midnight eyes, "And you can defend yourself now, Edward. No one here can do anything to you but talk shit. Does it really matter what they think? They're not important…we are. Fuck em cuz any one of those fuckers would kill to have what you've got. You've got friends who will fight for you…you've got parents who love you unconditionally…and you've got me. Forever, baby. It's you and me against this whole fuckin world and we're stronger than any one of those bastards. Let's do this, Edward."

He was right. Things were different now. I wasn't alone and I wasn't afraid to fight anymore. My friends would stick by me…my mom and dad would never turn their backs on me…and Jasper was permanently embedded to me. He was a part of me that would never go away. He would be with me forever.

I took a deep breath and nodded. Jasper gave me that beautiful dimpled grin and laced his fingers with mine.

And together, hand in hand, we walked back into the lunchroom, surrounded by our protective circle of friends. I could hear the snickers and whispers from everyone around me but his hand squeezed mine a little tighter and I took a deep breath to keep myself calm.

Jasper glared around the room and finally growled, "That's right…Edward Cullen is my boyfriend…any of you fuckers got a problem with that?"

The people that were scared of him turned away quickly and kept their mouths shut. Others still giggled their little comments but we just ignored them and went back to our table.

Jasper smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back, even if I felt like I wanted to throw up. As we sat down, Maria and Tanya walked up. Tanya looked hurt, "Edward…you're just confused, right? I mean, this can't be for real."

I shook my head, "No, Tanya…I'm not confused. Jasper and I are together…I'm sorry if that hurts you but that's just the way it is."

Maria was seething as she screamed, "What the fuck, Jasper?! You slept with me and you're a fucking faggot! I could get AIDS…"

Jasper's mouth fell open for a moment before I saw a pretty little manicured hand reach out and smack Maria hard across her cheek.

Rosalie scowled at her, "You fucking bitch! He should be afraid of catching some shit from you! You nasty, trashy whore!"

Then two teachers walked up and pulled Rosalie away as she still screamed, "What?! I get in trouble for smacking that cunt but she can talk to someone like that?! Bullshit!"

Tanya and Maria were led off by another teacher and Emmett shook his head, "Bitch…don't worry, Rosie will calm down. She's always hated Maria."

For the first time ever, I saw worry in Jasper's eyes as he whispered to Emmett, "What about football, man? Are the guys gonna want me to quit?"

He had grown to really love playing. He liked being part of the team and more so, he loved the power of putting people on their asses.

Emmett sighed, "Don't worry about it, Jay. If any of the guys have an issue, I'll deal with it. We need you on the team and as stupid as some of them are, they'll remember that."

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and I would have to face my next class without my protective circle. Well, I had Brady and Tommy but they weren't the strongest guys in our group. Still, I was thankful to have them.

Jasper walked us to our room and sighed, "Don't let them get to you, Edward. I'll meet you when class is over."

I nodded, "Okay, Jay. You don't let them get to you either."

He smiled but it didn't reach show his dimples, "I won't, babe. Love you."

I let out a breath and smiled back tentatively, "I love you too."

I was well aware of the whispers and giggles as Brady, Tommy, and I walked into our Lit class.

Mr. Walker slammed his book shut which brought everyone's attention to him.

"I am well aware of the events that took place during lunch. I will tell you all this once and once only…my classroom will be respected. Keep your personal opinions and comments to yourselves or I will remove you from my class. Now, where were we yesterday…"

I was really grateful to him right now. Once class ended, I walked up to him and spoke quietly, "Um…Mr. Walker? Thanks for the…um…save."

He smiled softly at me, "You are one of my very best students, Edward. Just remember that high school…is not the real world. This will all end and when you go out to face the real world, things will be different. Keep up the good work."

I nodded and walked out of the room to be met by Jay and Emmett. Apparently, we were sticking together today which I was really thankful for.

Once we reached my next class, Jasper took my hand in his and slipped something in it. I opened my palm to see a packet of honey. He gave me that sexy wicked grin and whispered, "Think happy thoughts, darlin."

_Jasper and honey…my two very favorite things…_

The next class passed without incident…even one girl, Katie, walked up and smiled and told me that she didn't care what anyone said, she thought I was a really great guy.

After class, Jay was waiting on me with Em and we started walking to gym. The worst class of the day.

Brady came running down the hallway looking frantic, "Guys!"

Em looked down at his frazzled little face, "What's up, Brady?"

He took a deep breath, "Tommy got some sort of text during class…I couldn't see what it was but he took off running…I tried to go after him but the teacher stopped me…he never came back!"

Em muttered, "Shit!"

Jasper spoke, "Did ya check the bathrooms?"

Brady shook his head, "No, I came to find you!"

Jasper muttered, "Fuck…you and Em go that way…me and Edward will go this way. Call us if you find him."

He grabbed my hand and we took off searching through the bathrooms. The bell had already rang so everything was pretty much cleared out by the time we hit the second floor bathrooms.

And as I walked in one…I was hit immediately with the smell of blood.

I gagged and then I saw it…legs sticking out from underneath one of the stalls as blood pooled around them.

I screamed out for Jay and he was there a moment later.

I ran over and opened the door to see Tommy lying there, unconscious with slit wrists. Immediately, I looked up at Jasper, "Call 911!"

He nodded and pulled out his phone. I called my dad.

"Son?"

"Dad! I'm at school…my friend Tommy just slit his wrists. There's blood everywhere. What do I do?"

I heard some shuffling as he spoke quickly, "You need to stop the bleeding, if there are no towels, rip your shirt into pieces and wrap them tightly around the wounds…"

"Okay…" I put the phone down and tore my t-shirt off doing as he said. Once his wrists were wrapped I picked the phone back up.

"What now?"

I heard his car start, "I'm on my way, hold his arms up above his heart…is he conscious?"

"No, I think he's going into shock. I can feel his pulse though it's weak…"

"Just hold on tight…did you call 911?"

"Yes, Jasper called."

He sighed, "You did good, son. I'll be there soon."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. By this time, Emmett and Brady had arrived. Emmett just crumbled and this time, it was Brady who held him as he cried. Jasper walked over and knelt down, "An ambulance is on the way."

I nodded, "Yeah, dad is too…"

He nodded and then he reached over and picked up Tommy's phone that was now dripping in blood. He grabbed a piece of my shirt and wiped it off before opening it and looking at , what I assume, was the text he had received.

He muttered, "Mother fucker…"

"What is it, Jay?" My arms were growing weak as I held Tommy's wrists up. Em had now come over and took them from me as Jasper showed me the message.

It was a video…of Tommy all drugged up with a couple of naked men around him but you couldn't see faces. I heard the sounds of what was happening but had to turn away. Once the video was done playing he held it back to me and I saw the words 'Kill yourself or this goes out to everyone.'

Jasper closed the phone and whispered, "James."

Brady held onto Tommy's hands now as Emmett jumped and ran.

I looked to Jasper, "Stop him! He's going after James!"

Jasper took off running and I sat there as Brady cried. All of a sudden, my problems seemed so small.

James did this. James sent the picture…sent this video. I had underestimated him. I thought this would all somehow disappear if we left it alone but instead, it was getting bigger and bigger. What if Tommy didn't make it? What would this do to Emmett? What would this do to all of us? James had to be stopped. I saw that now.

What seemed like forever, but was probably only a few minutes, my dad and the ambulance arrived.

They took over and sent me and Brady out of the bathroom. As I walked out, in a solemn daze, I saw Rose and Emmett crying hysterically holding onto each other for dear life. Jasper was sitting on the floor, slumped against the lockers with his head in his hands. The principal had instructed the teachers to keep all of the kids in their classrooms until the situation was resolved.

I walked over and slid down next to him. I hadn't cried yet…I was still in shock. I looked down at my jeans and hands that were covered in my friend's blood and I shuddered as the tears slowly started to fall.

Jasper's arm went around me as my head rested on his shoulder. He whispered, "Are you okay?"

I shook my head and cried harder as I buried my whole body into his and he held me tightly.

Eventually, the EMT's brought Tommy out on a stretcher. He was still unconscious and they were taking him to the hospital. Dad said he was going to go with them and handle his care himself and he would call us as soon as he knew something. He told us to go home and wait for his call and that Em, Rose, and Brady could go with us if they wanted.

So, we pulled ourselves up and left the school. Emmett drove us to our house and we convinced them to stay with us until we got the phone call because I was terrified that Emmett was going to go after James alone.

My mom brought us some food and drinks and told us she was there if we wanted to talk but she would give us all some privacy.

As we sat around my bedroom, the cries had ceased and now anger was taking through. Emmett muttered, "I'm gonna kill the mother fucker!"

I shook my head, "No, Em. Let's put him away."

Jasper looked over at me in surprise and I nodded, "I'm in."

**Sorry for the evil cliffy!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Jasper's POV**

I tried my best to process all of the day's events but my mind was all over the place. James outed us. I know I wanted to be out with Edward but not like this. And when it happened, I'm sure I felt as sick as Edward did but I had to be strong for him. If I freaked out, he would freak out.

But on the inside, I was freaking out.

I had made a reputation in this school as being kinda a bad ass…were people gonna start testin me now that they knew I was gay? Would people think I was less of a man cuz of it? Of course, I would fight if I needed to…that was never a problem for me. But now, my life was so different…I didn't wanna have to fight all the time. I like not having all the drama in my life that I had grown up with. Now, I had to be back on my fuckin guard at all times.

And Edward…what was this gonna do to him? His wounds were still fresh and deep…would this push him over the edge? But he had gotten a lot stronger these last couple years…I mean, the little fucker stood up to me, but I guess he knows that I'd never kick his ass…kiss it, fuck it, squeeze it…but I'd never hurt him no matter how mad I got.

Thank God for our friends. Our real friends, I mean. Fuck Paul and Embry. Bastards took up with me the minute I came to this Podunk town and I was good enough to hang out with when I was standing up for their bitch asses. I should kick their asses. Mother fuckers…

But our real friends were fearless. I think that all of us together, can be enough to help Edward through this. I would be fine cuz in reality, I really didn't give a fuck what anyone thought…I just didn't want them to fuck with us.

I think we handled things well, given the circumstances. We stood our ground and I respected Edward a lot for havin the balls to do it. It would have been easy for him to run and hide but he stuck with me. It was amazing to watch how much that boy grew everyday into an incredible man. One day, we'd be outta school…outta Forks…and on our own. I just had to keep reminding myself of that.

And then Tommy happened.

What. The. Fuck.

I didn't even know what to think about the Tommy situation. He was my friend…_is_ my friend. He's a good guy who got put through some really bad shit. Em said he had tried to kill himself before…was that cuz James told him to? He just had to make it through this…right? Emmett had already been torn up inside cuz he thought he failed Tommy…this could push him over the edge.

But Carlisle was there…if anyone could save Tommy, he could. I had faith in that.

And what about Edward? Damn, he was amazing. I was freakin out but he stayed calm the whole time. If Tommy survived this, it would be cuz of Edward. It was funny that him and Carlisle weren't related biologically but they shared a lot of the same traits.

I worried about what this did to Edward's mind though. I know he was seein shadows in the hallway cuz I saw his head whipping around before he closed his eyes. All this stress ain't good for him.

Finally Emmett balled up his fists and through clenched teeth growled, "I'm gonna kill the mother fucker!"

I looked over from the windowsill where I was smoking a cigarette at Edward. He shook his head and said, "No, Em. Let's put him away."

I was surprised cuz I knew how he felt about the whole James thing…he's the only reason I hadn't done anything yet.

He just nodded and whispered, "I'm in."

My stomach was doing flip flops cuz the whole reason I hadn't told Edward about any of this was cuz I didn't want him involved. I'm not stupid, I knew this whole thing could go wrong but I was just one of those mother fuckers who sometimes really didn't give a fuck…but when it came to Edward, I did give a fuck.

So, as much as I hated what I was about to do, I felt I had no choice if Edward was involved, "We should show the video to the cops."

Emmett shook his head, "Hell no. If Tommy makes it through this…I can't even think what he'd do if he knew that video got out. He might have to testify or something…he's not strong enough, man. He'd never make it through that."

Edward sighed, "Besides, James obviously isn't stupid enough to send that video from a traceable phone. My guess, it's a throwaway…prepaid."

I took a drag from my cigarette and exhaled out the open window, "I need to get in his house…I need to see if he's got enough in there to put him away for good before we go any further."

Edward squeezed his eyes shut, I knew he hated this but he felt backed into a corner. I felt that way too and when I'm backed into a corner, I come out fuckin swinging.

Then he opened his eyes and looked to Alice, "Ali? Do you think Jane would take James house key while he's at work and have a copy made? You could meet her up there, take the key and make a copy so she could return it before he ever knew it was missing."

_Fuckin genius…_

Alice and Jane had grown really close…official girlfriends. They adored each other and Jane would serve her alcohol even after she found out that Alice wouldn't be 18 for another three months…so it's not like she wouldn't do something illegal or immoral for Ali.

Alice sighed, "I'm having dinner with her tomorrow night. I'll ask….but I'll have to tell her the whole story…I mean, the truth about James and what he's done."

Emmett nodded, "If you can get the key and you trust her, then do it."

She nodded.

I took a deep breath, "Guys? We need to really plan this out cuz I think we underestimated James. He knew that Tommy was here so he must be keeping an eye on us. He got the picture of me and Edward from the night at the club, so he knows Alice is with us. We need to just except the fact that he knows all about our little group and he's willing to come after any one of us. That being said, no one here goes anywhere alone."

They all nodded and Brady spoke up, "But I don't understand why he waited so long to send the picture of you and Edward out. I mean, that happened over a month ago…why would he wait?"

I sighed, "I dunno, man. Maybe he was tryin to lull us into a sense of false security…maybe it took him that long to gather everyone's phone numbers…I don't know."

Edward looked over at me, "How do you think he was able to get all those numbers?"

I shrugged and Rosalie spoke up, "Student directory. It would have everyone's cell numbers in it…but how would he got a hold of that?"

Brady wrapped his arms around his legs and spoke quietly, "Um…guys? There was more than one man on that video. What if someone at the school is involved?"

_Shit, I hadn't even thought about that…thank God I hang out with smart kids…_

Alice gasped, "Do you think that's true?"

Edward jumped up, "Okay…Jasper, we need to break up…"

I dropped my cigarette, "What?"

He shook his head, "Not for real, Jay…but at school. We need to have a big blow out at school. Let's think about this for a moment…you know that James wants me. If it gets back to him that we broke up…he's probably going to call me. I can publicly accuse Alice of taking the picture and sending it out so if he hears all this, he won't be afraid to contact me."

I lit up another one and he continued, "So, we wait and if he calls me, then I spill my guts about how you were cheating on me with Tommy…that's why we think Tommy did what he did. I'll be so distraught that he'll try to comfort me, I'm sure with drugs. I've smoked pot with him so he'll think he can trust me and he knows I don't know anything about drugs so I'll set him up to pick me up after school with the stuff on him."

I furrowed my brows as my anxiety picked up, "Edward, I don't like you being this involved, man…"

He just shrugged, "If you're going to break into his house, I can do this. Please don't fight me on this, Jay."

I sighed, feeling defeated but wanted to make sure he understood what he was getting into, "Edward, if we do this…break up at school and have a falling out, you realize that you're gonna be on your own when you're at school. For it to be believable, I'm not gonna be able to talk to you…we're really gonna have to act like we're done…"

He gave me that sexy crooked grin, "Well, then I guess we'll just have a lot of making up to do once we're back home."

I do like that part of the plan…

Edward's phone goes off and everyone collectively holds their breath as his shaky fingers answer, "Dad? Yeah…hold on."

He pulls the phone away and presses the speaker button, "You're on speaker, dad…"

Carlisle sighs and my stomach knots, "Tommy lost a lot of blood so we had to do a transfusion…he's stable for the moment but it will be at least 48 hours until we know for sure if he's going to regain consciousness. I'm sorry, kids, that's all I can tell you at this point. Emmett, I understand that you and your father are the only family he has here, correct?"

Emmett whispers in a shaky voice, "Yeah…I can call his mom and dad but…"

Carlisle cuts him off, "I already called them, son…they won't be coming. I haven't been able to reach your father but if you'd like to come down for a few minutes, I will let you in."

Rose interjects, "Carlisle, can I come with him? I don't want him to be alone."

She puts her arm around his broad shoulders and he leans into her for comfort.

Carlisle speaks, "Yes, sweetheart, that would be fine but no more visitors for tonight. I'll call you when I know more. You kids hang in there. Edward, please take me off speakerphone for a moment, son…"

Edward hit's the button and puts the phone to his ear and mumbles softly a few 'yeahs' 'thanks' and an 'I love you too' before handing me the phone, "Dad wants to talk to you."

I take the phone and clear my throat, "Carlisle?"

He sighs, "I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you, son. You and Edward really pulled through and behaved so rationally in such a horrible moment for you…"

I shook my head, "It was all Edward, man…"

He yawned and I felt bad for him, he was always putting everyone's needs before his own…but I guess that's what real love is all about.

"No, son…you did your part too. Anyway, I have to get back but if you want to talk about anything…if you need anything…please call me."

I nodded for some strange reason, "Yeah, I will. Thanks for everything."

He spoke quietly, "I love you, son."

I took a deep breath and whispered, "I love you too."

"Get some rest, good night."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and handed it back to Edward. Then I wiped my fuckin eyes off with the back of my hand…what is it about these Cullen men? Fuckers always made me cry and shit.

The gang left, Em was gonna drop off Brady and Alice at their homes before he and Rose headed to the hospital.

Once they left, I looked at Edward who looked exhausted as he laid across his bed. I got up from the windowsill and slowly crawled on top of him…I just needed to feel him…to touch him…to love him.

I leaned down and kissed him softly, feeling his warm soft lips moving against mine was fuckin Heaven. I gently pulled away and brushed back the bronze locks that had fallen on his forehead, "How ya doin, darlin?"

He sighed and wrapped his arms around my waist while I leaned on one elbow, "I'm okay, Jay. I'm worried about Tommy…and Emmett…and Brady…and you. I'll be okay."

I smiled…he was just like his dad, always putting others needs before his own. He was gonna be an incredible husband someday.

_Thank God he can't read my mind, I sound all girly and shit…_

"I'm okay, darlin. I'm worried too. How you feelin bout us…bout what happened with us today?"

He smiled sweetly at me and sighed, "I won't lie, at first I was scared silly…but you and the guys helped me through. But now, after Tommy…I just don't care about being out anymore. I love you, Jay. Plain and simple. I'm not going to run and I'm not going to hide anymore. It doesn't matter what people think…besides, they're just jealous that I have such a fuckhot boyfriend and they don't."

I laughed and rested my free hand on his stomach, "Yeah, we're two good lookin mother fuckers. I'm real proud of you, Edward. You're pretty fuckin tough, you know that?"

That crooked little smile came across his face, "I've adopted a new philosophy…WWJD."

I furrowed my brows a little confused, "What would Jesus do?"

He shook his head and smiled, "No…what would Jasper do?"

I sighed, "Don't always do what you think I'd do, babe…I've been known to be a little hot headed at times."

He faked shock, "Really?"

I smirked, "Oh, you're gonna pay for that, smart ass."

I started tickling his stomach and sides while he began giggling and fighting me back, but I was still stronger than him, especially when he was giggling like a 5 year old school girl.

"Stop! You're going to make me pee!" he yelled and I laughed but ceased the tickling. Then the little fucker smirked, "You're so easy."

And he grabbed both my hands and flipped me over onto my back while he straddled my legs and squeezed his thighs against my hips.

I moaned as I felt his cock grind into mine, "Shit, Edward…not fair…"

He leaned down as he pinned my heads above my head. His tongue traced the shell of my ear before nipping on the lobe and whispering, "You taught me how to fight, Jay…did you forget?"

I groaned and lifted my hips up to get more friction. My eyes closed and I was already breathing heavily, "Baby…what about your mama?"

He pulled away and smiled sheepishly, "Oh…I forgot about that."

I laughed as I gripped his fingers in mine and rolled us over on our sides. My arm was underneath his neck and he rested his head against my shoulder. Our bodies were pressed together and my other arm was around his waist, rubbing the soft smooth skin of his back and that delicious little dip he had right above his ass.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Love you, Jay."

I closed my eyes and whispered, "Love you, Eddie."

I woke up the next morning from Esme gently shaking my shoulder, "Wake up, sweetie."

I opened my eyes just as Edward did. I yawned, "Did we sleep like this all night?"

She smiled, "Yeah. You two just seemed so exhausted after everything you went through yesterday…I just couldn't bring myself to wake you."

I looked down and smiled…she had covered us with a blanket sometime during the night. Edward's voice was rough with sleep and fuckin sexy as all get out, "Morning, mom. Thanks for letting us sleep."

She nodded, "Do you boys feel like going to school today? I talked with your dad and he was okay with it if you wanted to stay home. It is Friday, after all, and you could probably use the long weekend."

I looked at her and sighed, "If I don't go to school, I won't be able to play in the game tonight."

Esme smiled, "Well, why don't you boys take a little time to wake up and decide. I'm going to go make some breakfast."

She left the room and I looked over at Edward, "As tempting as it is to stay in bed with you all day, I really think we oughta go to school and face this. We don't wanna give anyone any ammo in thinkin that we were dodgin school cuz of them."

He sighed and nodded, "You're probably right."

We hadn't told Esme or Carlisle about us being outed yesterday. We talked about it a little and decided that it would bring up too many questions…how did someone get a picture of us kissing? Where were we when we got caught? Who would do something like that? We weren't ready to answer any of those questions yet.

Emmett picked us up and I was a little surprised that he was going to school. But he said that Carlisle had told him that he would call if there were any changes and he wanted to be able to do any damage control for Tommy before rumors and shit started flying.

Of course, the laughing and whispering started the moment we stepped foot on campus but we just did our best to ignore it and stand strong. By the mid afternoon, I was getting pissed and Edward was on edge too. We were standing at our lockers when nerdy ass Eric walked by with Tyler and snorted, "Fucking homo's!"

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose before slamming his locker shut and growling, "Hey Eric?"

Eric and Tyler stopped when Edward stalked up to them. I quickly followed suit and stood by Edward's side cuz if he was gonna start some shit, I sure as fuck was ready to kick some fuckin ass today.

Eric was short and Edward towered over him as he glared down and whispered, "Just because I'm gay…don't think I can't fuck you up."

Tyler was a little more ballsy and laughed nervously, "Quit trying to hit on us you damn queer."

I pushed him up against the locker, "Talk to me like that, Tyler…I fuckin dare you."

He visibly gulped and stuttered, "Look, man…I don't want to fight you…"

I smiled now and let him go, "You don't have to worry about me or Edward hittin on you two…we're gay, remember? We don't like pussies."

Emmett's laughter boomed from behind me and I turned to see him and Rosalie standing there. She smirked with her arms folded across her chest, "Besides, you two have got to be some of the ugliest, most ill built little boys I have ever seen. No wonder none of the girls in the school would be caught dead with you. Just…gross."

Now some of the laughter turned to them as they shuffled off. Edward smiled at Rose, "Thanks Rosalie."

She just shrugged, "What? I was just speaking the truth."

Alice came bouncing up to us, "Hey guys, bad news. Jane can't meet me tonight for dinner. Her babysitter fell through."

Rose smiled, "Why don't you just invite her over tomorrow night? Is she working?"

Alice shook her head, "No, she has the weekend off but what about her daughter, Gracie?"

Em put his arm around Rosie and smiled, "Why don't you just tell her to bring her? We can forgo drinking for one night. Besides, Rosie and I will babysit to give you guys a little alone time."

Rose jumped now, "That's a great idea! I really want to meet her anyway! I can't believe you've been dating for over a month and you haven't introduced her to your best friend!"

Alice smiled, "Okay, I'll call her after school."

The rest of the day passed with the usual giggles and whispers but we made it through unscathed.

Finally, it was time to get ready for the game tonight and I was nervous as hell but sure as fuck, wouldn't let it show. One thing I learned from my childhood…never show any weakness cuz that just opens you up for a world of fuckin pain.

So I pushed my way into the locker room and started getting undressed. I was very aware when the guys started moving away from me and getting dressed on the other side. I knew I had better deal with this shit right fuckin now so once I pulled my pants up, I walked around and faced them.

"Let's get this shit out right now. Yeah, I'm gay. No, I don't want any one of you pussy mother fuckers. I'm still the same fuckin guy that goes out there every fuckin week and puts fuckers to the ground for our god damn team. I'm not gonna quit and you ain't gonna run me off so I suggest you learn to fuckin deal with it real quick. You don't like it? Tough shit."

I turned around and saw Emmett standing there looking amused. I smirked, "Hey fucker."

He laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder as he addressed the team, "Yeah, I think Jay said it all. We're a team. We stick together. If any one of you has a problem with that, then maybe you're the one who needs to rethink your position here. That being said, I'm the best looking mother fucker on this team and if I don't do it for him, I seriously doubt any of you homely looking fuckers are. So, drop the bullshit and let's go kick some fuckin ass!"

I wasn't surprised too much when a couple of guys did quit but Emmett just smiled, "Let them go…they fucking sucked anyway. We've got back ups."

Some of the guys were still a little weary but most of them seemed to put any issues they had on the backburner for now at least.

We went out there against Pike High and I had a little extra venom coursing through my veins now so I took it out on them sorry bastards. We kicked their asses and all was right with the fuckin world.

We went out for pizza that night and Alice was giddy that Jane had accepted her invitation to stay over tomorrow night.

That night, I told Edward about what happened in the locker room and he was really proud of me for standing up for myself…I mean, seriously, did he have any doubts that I would?

The next night at Rosalie's house was finally here. We had gotten the call from Carlisle saying that Tommy had woken up and he thought he would be okay. Emmett and Rose stayed most the day with him but he wasn't ready to see anyone else yet so we stayed away and just sent our well wishes for him.

Alice, Jane, and Gracie showed up around 8:00pm and Jane and Gracie were both just adorable. Little Gracie ran up to Rosalie in awe, "Look mommy! It's a real life Barbie doll!"

Rosalie smiled and bent down to face her cute little blue eyed face, "Well, Gracie, how would you like to play dress up with me? I'll let you do my make up and brush my hair. What do you think?"

Gracie turned to Jane who was looking at her daughter with nothing but love in her eyes, "Mommy? Can I?"

She nodded, "Okay, sweetie."

Rosalie went and got her make up kit and let little Gracie go to work as Alice introduced Jane to us all. She was very nice and a little shy which was funny to me considering Alice is one of the most outgoing people I knew…must be the hippie parents.

We all sat around and talked for awhile. Jane had her own story and she wasn't shy when it came to telling it. Gracie's father used to be one of her best friends, Felix. But one night, after too much drinking at a party, he raped her. She became pregnant and couldn't bear the thought of having an abortion. So, she had the baby. Felix was very sorry for what he had done but Jane couldn't forgive him but also couldn't prosecute him. So, she told him that all she wanted was to have the baby and for him to leave them alone. He doesn't pay child support, she never wanted it…she just wanted Gracie with no ties. She worried that keeping him out of her life might be selfish of her, but for now, it was the only way she could manage.

She seemed like a pretty incredible woman. And to my surprise, Rosalie opened up to her about what she had gone through. The two of them hit it off and Alice couldn't seem happier than she did as she watched them talk.

Eventually Alice told Jane about James. We helped her get the whole story out about what happened and why we needed her help. Once we were done, Jane had tears in her eyes as she took a deep breath, "What a sick bastard…I can't believe he's working at my uncle's bar. I want to help but…I have Gracie to think about. What if he finds out and comes after us? I really think you guys should go to the police. I think this may be too big for you."

Deep down, I knew she was right. Finally, Emmett sighed, "I'll talk to Tommy tomorrow, okay?"

She smiled, "Try to convince him that this needs to be done. If, by chance, you can't get him convinced…then I'll try to think of something to help."

The next day, me, Brady, Emmett, and Edward went to go see Tommy. When we got there, Edward buried his head to my chest at the sight of him lying there, hooked up to a bunch of machines, and just looking completely broken.

Brady started crying and went over and took his hand. Tommy smiled a little at him and we all went around him and talked for a little about how he was feeling. Finally, Em took his other hand and sighed as he whispered, "Tommy? We know about the video James sent you."

Tommy's eyes went wide and he jerked his hands away as if he was being burned. He shook his head as the tears started welling up in his eyes. Brady spoke next, "Tommy…we love you. What James did is unforgivable but you have to understand that it's not your fault. We just want to help you…"

Tommy shut his eyes and refused to talk. Finally, Edward pulled us out in the hallway and whispered, "Let me talk to him."

Em sighed, "What are you gonna say?"

Edward took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "You guys know about my past. Sexual abuse is so…demeaning and you feel so vile…I think especially when you're a boy and it happens by a man. I want to tell him about me…let him know that I understand some of what he's dealing with and how I understand what it's like to just want to die sometimes because of it all. But you have to accept that it's not your fault and if you have people around you who love and support you, then you need to lean on them and face your demons or they'll never go away."

_Wow. Edward's fuckin amazing._

Em nodded and Edward went into Tommy's room while we waited in the hallway. It seemed like forever until Edward opened the door. His eyes were puffy and red but he smiled.

We walked over to Tommy's bed and his eyes matched Edward's. He whispered, "I'll talk to the cops. I want Edward to stay with me."

Edward nodded and called his dad. He asked him to come by Tommy's room when he got a chance. When Carlisle arrived, we left the room except for Edward. It wasn't long until Chief Swan and another officer arrived.

I let out a sigh of relief that this would all be over soon and James would be out of our fuckin lives for good.

After a long time, the cops left and Carlisle and Edward came out of the room. Carlisle smiled at Emmett, "I had to give him a sedative, son…he was quite distraught once he was finished telling his story. Chief Swan and Officer Harris are headed over to the station now to get a search warrant. I've spoken with Tommy about some treatment options. I know of a few good places where he could get intensive therapy to help him through this as quickly as possible so he can begin living his life again…"

Emmett sighed, "Carlisle, I don't know if his parents will pay for it and…"

Carlisle put his hand on his shoulder, "Please don't worry about it, son. It's taken care of. You boys should go home and get some rest. I'm really proud of you for helping him through this."

He walked away and went back to work. Emmett wiped the tears away from his eyes and pulled Edward into a hug as he whispered, "Thank you."

Edward hugged him back and whispered, "There's nothing to thank me for."

Emmett took us home and dropped us off and Esme was waitin on us with plenty of comfort food.

The next few days passed and we hadn't heard much about the Tommy situation. We were getting antsy waiting on the news. Little did we know, just how fuckin bad it was gonna go.

When we walked through the door Tuesday after school, Carlisle called us into the kitchen. "Sit down boys…we need to talk."

Edward and I looked at each other nervously before pulling out some kitchen chairs and sitting across from him. His hands were folded on top of the table and his head hung down.

He took a deep breath before lifting his head to look at us in the eyes. I could see the anguish in them and my heart dropped.

"The only thing the police search turned up was a few pictures of Tommy with James and a woman named Victoria, who James claims to be his girlfriend. The pictures are not sexual in nature. James is claiming that he and Victoria befriended Tommy at a party and he became obsessed with James. Victoria backs his story up. He says nothing ever happened with Tommy and he grew suicidal when he turned him down. Because of Tommy's past with the suicide attempts and time in a psychiatric hospital, the cops are intent on believing James. Apparently, his parents hired a very good lawyer for him so it's his word against Tommy's."

I had to close my eyes for a moment as I whispered, "What about the video?"

Carlisle sighed, "The video can't be traced. Most of the men's bodies were covered so there are no identifying marks they can use to track them down. The only way they would proceed is if Tommy was willing to go to court and testify. I told him I'd get him a lawyer but even with one, the chances of getting any kind of conviction is bleak to none. The cops just don't have any evidence. I've talked to Emmett and Tommy. Tommy has agreed to go to a mental health facility in Seattle so that he can stay close to Emmett. He leaves tomorrow. I'm really sorry, boys."

I couldn't control myself as I jumped from the table and yelled, "That's fuckin bullshit! These fuckers are gonna walk away from this shit!"

Edward jumped up and wrapped his arms around me as I shook in anger. A moment later Carlisle was there too, "I know, son. Don't you think it kills me to know his story is true and not be able to help him! I hate this! It's not fair but there is nothing we can do!"

I pulled away and grabbed my jacket, "I gotta get outta here for awhile…can I go for a walk?"

Carlisle nodded, "Of course, son."

I started to walk out the door when Edward was by my side, "Can I come or do you want to be alone?"

I looked into his pretty green eyes and sighed, "You can always come with me, babe…no matter where I go."

He smiled softly and we took off down the driveway. I was surprised when he grabbed hold of my hand as we walked down the street. His touch was calming to me and I was thankful that he was opening himself up so much for me.

We walked for awhile when he turned to me, "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

I shook my head, "No, man…I just can't. There's gotta be some way to get to that fucker."

Eventually, we ended up at the park and I couldn't help but smile as he sat down on one of the swings and patted the one next to him.

I sat down next to him and we just dragged our feet in the dirt for a bit before facing each other. He held onto the chains of the swing and sighed, "Well, they didn't find anything at his house…since Victoria is part of his cover, I'm sure she doesn't have anything at her house…"

_He's a fuckin genius…_

I smiled, "Laurent! It's gotta be Laurent. He's Victoria's boyfriend…I've seen them all cuddled up. The three of them must be in it together. James has the money, Victoria's the cover, and Laurent houses the shit…that's gotta be it."

He looked over at me with a frown on that beautiful face, "How are we going to even go about finding out if he's the one?"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him up, "Let's go home."

We went home and it wasn't that hard to find him on the internet, 'Laurent Xavier.' I found his address and told Edward I was sneaking out to his house tonight. Edward went with me and we found his house in the slums of Forks, which were still pretty damn nice if you ask me.

We just hid in the alley behind his house and watched. Victoria was already there and not long after, James showed up. We couldn't see much from where we hid but we could hear music playing and laughing.

On our way back home, I called Alice.

"Hey Jazzy. What's up?"

"Ali, can you talk to Jane and ask her if a tall black guy with long dreads and a redhead ever hang out at the club with James?"

She spoke, "Sure, she's here…hold on a sec."

A moment later she spoke again, "She said they come in all the time. Why?"

"Just ask her to call me the next time all three of them are together at the bar and hanging out for awhile. Give her my number, okay?"

She sighed, "Sure, Jazz. Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

I smiled, "I'll tell you guys all about it on Saturday night, okay?"

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye, Ali. Thanks."

I hung up and Edward and I made our way back home.

The rest of the week passed pretty slowly. Tommy left and we told him we'd come visit him on Sunday. Technically, only family was allowed but Carlisle had pulled some strings for us. He was not doing well about the whole thing but I promised him that things were gonna be okay and I always kept my promises.

On Friday night, I was in bed when I got a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Jasper? It's Jane. They're all here and they just ordered a ton of booze so I imagine they're going to be here for awhile."

I jumped up outta bed, "Okay, will you call me when they leave?"

"Sure. Be careful, Jasper."

"I will. Thanks, Jane."

I pulled on some black jeans and a black hoodie. I crept down to Edward's room. I really didn't wanna involve him in this but this was last minute and I needed him.

I sat down next to him and whispered, "Edward? Baby, wake up…"

He rolled over and opened his sleepy eyes, "What's wrong, Jay?"

I whispered, "They're all at the club. I'm headin to Laurent's house and I need a look out."

He nodded and jumped up, getting dressed in all black too.

_Fuck, he's sexy…_

It was well after midnight when we got to the dark house. I told Edward to stay hidden in the alley where he could keep an eye out on both the front porch and back.

I whispered as I pulled on my gloves, "Do not…for any fuckin reason…come inside this house. I don't know if there's an alarm or anything so be ready to fuckin run if need be. If you see anything, call my phone."

He nodded and he looked like he wanted to throw up, "Please be careful."

I kissed him gently, "I will, babe. Just stay outta sight and if anything goes wrong, fuckin run. Understand?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

I crept up to the back of the house. Luckily, the house was pretty fuckin ghetto and a criminal's wet fuckin dream cuz when I went to the kitchen window, the screen was already a little fucked and the wood around the window frame was already marred and splintered.

I easily popped the screen out and with the box cutter I brought, I was able to peel away the paint that was holding the damn window closed. It took some elbow grease and some time, but finally the window gave and I was able to push it open.

I crawled in and a minute later, I was standing in the dark kitchen. I pulled out the small flashlight I had and shined it down to the ground so that no one could see it through the windows. I quickly made my way through the small house and saw nothing out of the ordinary, but on my way back through the kitchen, I saw a basement door.

I made my way down the dark stairs into the basement and then I saw some computers and bookshelves. As I first went through the shelves, I didn't find anything but finally, I found some burned DVD's with different names of boys on them. I grabbed two and shoved them in my hoodie pocket. As I looked through them, I noticed one that said 'Tommy McCarty.' I grabbed it too.

Then I saw some photo albums. I opened them up and did find some pictures that were very sexual in nature and that clearly showed faces in them. I just grabbed a few and put the rest back. I put everything back where I found it, except for the few things that I took.

I quickly made my way back upstairs and checked around to make sure I didn't leave any traces that I was there. I crawled back out the window and kicked some dirt over the peeled paint shavings that laid on the ground. I popped the screen back in and ran back out to the alley.

Edward let out a huge sigh and threw his arms around my neck, "Oh, thank God…"

I hugged him back for a moment before we took off towards home. I told him what I found and he was shocked that I actually found something.

I watched him climb up his tree and through his window and then I did the same. As I was crawling through, I saw him lock his door and turn to me. The second my feet touched his floor, his lips were against mine.

His tongue wasted no time as I parted my lips to him. His hands were holding my face to him with a strong grip as the boy kissed me with everything he had. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my throat into his eager mouth.

I held his face too as I kissed him back, wild and anxious and never getting enough of his taste.

I began walking him backwards towards his bed as his hands went to my belt and made quick work of unbuckling it and pulling it through the loops. The second he dropped it to the floor, his hands were at the bottom of my hoodie, pulling it up quickly over my head.

I pulled away from his delicious mouth only long enough to remove the hoodie before I attacked his lips again. I yanked his sweatshirt over his head quickly and he returned his mouth to mine this time, just as feverishly.

We were kicking off our shoes as we made our way back to his bed. When the back of his knees hit the bed, we both went tumbling down. We rolled around kissing and sucking and nipping at one another, fighting for dominance. I fuckin loved it when he took control so eventually I ceased and let him have it.

His hard body was lying on mine and I groaned as he began kissing and sucking and biting on my neck hard…I was sure there was gonna be some marks and I was writhing underneath him.

While he attacked my neck, his hands went to my jeans and undid them like a fuckin pro. He lifted for a moment and stared down at me as his hands yanked my jeans down my legs and completely off.

He smiled that crooked smile when he saw that I was going commando. I watched as he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans while straddling my lap. Now it was my turn to smile as he slid them down over his hips and I saw that he had forgone boxers too.

His cock sprang forth, all big and hard and just fuckin callin to me. I wrapped my hand around him and he moaned as he fell back on top of me and continued his assault on my neck. I stroked him hard and fast, just unable to control myself.

Finally, he pulled my hand away and smiled as his hand went down my body, along my shaft, and to my balls as he cupped and massaged them gently. I was writhing again and when his fingers trailed down even further and started stroking that skin between my balls and my ass, my eyes closed and I moaned loudly before his mouth covered mine and swallowed the sound.

I don't know why that felt so damn good, but it fuckin did. He raised up as he stroked me still and he was killin me with that sexy grin and those fuckin hooded eyes. He whispered, "Can I touch you…here, Jay?" and his fingers glided softly over my ass.

I couldn't control my hips as they bucked up for him, wanting more. I nodded, really unable to verbalize anything at that moment.

I closed my eyes and waited for his finger to enter me, knowing that it would probably hurt a little. But instead I felt his weight shift as he slid down my body.

I opened my eyes and looked down at him as he began sucking and kissing along my stomach, going further down with each kiss. I managed to get out a breathy, "I thought you was gonna touch me…"

He smiled up at me and whispered, "Oh, I am, Love but I didn't say anything about my fingers. I'm going to use my tongue."

_Well fuck me sideways…Edward Cullen is about to lick my ass…_

I had never had this done before and wasn't sure of how it would feel but I was fuckin ready to find out and pretty damn excited about the whole thing. His body settled between my legs and I moaned as he took my throbbing cock in his warm wet mouth a few times before traveling further south. He sucked on my balls gently and then licked down from underneath them to my hole.

As his hot tongue began licking my hole and his hand was stroking my dick…I was biting my lip to keep quiet. He was doing it really soft, I guess getting used to this new thing he was doing. It felt really fuckin good.

Then he shifted again and held onto the backs of my thighs with his hands as I felt his hot wet tongue actually go inside my ass a little.

And with that, my voice raised a couple of octaves as I started whimpering like a god damn girl. I heard him giggle and I managed to get out a very strained, "That's alright, Eddie…you're next. I'll have you singin like a fuckin soprano."

He giggled again and tightened his grip on my thighs and then…Edward started fuckin me with his tongue.

My body was experiencing all kinds of new sensations and I was incoherent at the pure ecstasy I was feelin. Who woulda thought that getting your ass tongued would feel so fuckin good?

My cock was straining, it was so fuckin hard as it was now bouncing against my stomach. Edward took even more control and started moving my ass back and forth quickly as his tongue slipped in and out.

I reached down and grabbed my cock and started pumping it hard and fast to match his thrusts. My eyes were closed tight and I was bitin my lip to keep me from fuckin screaming.

Then his tongue was gone and he pushed my hands away as he took my dick back into that heavenly fuckin mouth. I felt his fingers trailing down again and circling my hole.

He was drivin me fuckin insane and I had to grab a pillow and bite the fucker as I screamed "Fuck!"

He lifted his head and I know the fucker was smirking. I pulled the pillow away, breathing heavy and completely at his fuckin mercy…yeah, he was smirking.

"Not yet, Love, but we'll fuck as soon as you're ready. All you have to do is ask, Jay."

I wanted to scream out for him to just fuckin fuck me already god damn it! But I didn't, I really did wanna wait. As pathetic as it may sound…I wanted it to be special and fuckin perfect.

I was staring into his bright green eyes and he smiled softly at me. I couldn't help but smile back. He whispered as his finger started to press a little harder against me, "Is this okay?'

I nodded, still unable to really speak. He whispered again, "Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"

I nodded again and grabbed the pillow again. His mouth slid down around my cock again as his finger slipped inside me. I held onto that pillow tight with my face buried cuz I wasn't exactly sure what kinda sounds I might make.

Only the tip was in at first but then slowly he started to push it further inside me. It didn't really hurt. It felt a little weird but not bad.

He was moving his finger slowly and gently in and out of me and the whole fuckin thing was pretty damn erotic. He pulled away from my cock as I started moving against him, taking his long, slender finger inside me more and more.

He whispered in shallow breaths, "Are you okay?"

I pulled the pillow away and panted, "Fuck yeah, baby…don't stop…"

He whispered again, "Um…can I add another finger?"

I threw the pillow off the bed and laid there with my arms outstretched to my sides, panting and gripping onto the sheets. I moaned out, "Yeah, darlin…I'm fuckin yours…do whatever the fuck you wanna do…"

He was watching my face as he slowly slid another finger in. This time it hurt a little and I winced. He whispered, "Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head and grabbed his hair, "Just fuckin kiss me, baby…please…"

His lips came to mine and I could taste my own saltiness on his tongue. His two fingers pumped in and out of me slowly and then, he hit some fuckin spot that made me roll to my side and throw my leg up over his hips to just get more of him.

I moaned deeply into his mouth as my arms wrapped tight around his neck. He broke the kiss and smiled as he breathed out, "You like that, baby?"

I just nodded furiously and my damn voice raised an octave again as I whimpered, "Do that again…"

I buried my head in the crook of his shoulder as his free arm wrapped around my back and held onto me. He was pumping those fingers a little harder now and hitting some damn sweet spot that had me seeing fuckin stars. I was moving my body to meet his fingers now and my cock was rubbing against his hard cock. I was in fuckin heaven.

My body clenched around his fingers and my stomach tightened as I erupted against his stomach and cock. I couldn't even speak when I came. My mouth was open but no sound came out. My body shook and trembled as wave after wave of pleasure ripped through me until I collapsed against the bed, panting, sweating, and quivering.

Edward touched my stomach and I couldn't take it as I shook, "Ah…give me a second, babe."

He giggled as I had to recover for a minute. Finally I looked over at him and smiled, "How the hell did you learn to do that, Eddie?"

The little fucker actually blushed and my dick started getting hard again, "Um…research."

I sat up on my elbow, "Research?"

He smiled as his cheeks got redder, "Yeah…um…porn, okay. I've been watching porn on the internet."

I had to cover my mouth to stifle the laugh…cuz the thought of Edward watching porn on the internet was funny but really fuckin hot too and I immediately made a mental note to watch it with him sometime.

He pushed my shoulder and rolled his eyes, "Don't laugh, asshole. I was doing it for us…ya know, planning for when we…um…ya know."

I smiled and brushed my fingers along his cheek and into his hair. I gripped it between my fingers and pulled him to me. My mouth went to his ear and I whispered, "For when we fuck, Edward?"

He moaned and sighed, "Yeah."

I pushed him onto his back and crawled on top of him. He still hadn't came yet but I was gonna take care of that real soon.

I was straddling his lap and could feel his cock throbbing between my ass cheeks. I was still slippery down there from Edward's tongue and my nut so I slowly started moving myself up and down on his hard shaft.

He moaned and grabbed my hips, digging his fingers into them. I held onto his shoulders as I glided up and down along his hard cock. Fuck, this was turning me on, something fierce again.

I whispered, "Is this how you want me, Edward? Or would you rather be on top?"

His back arched and he groaned, "Oh God Jasper…I don't fucking care…I just want you…I'll take you however I can get you…"

I leaned down to his ear and nibbled it a bit before I whispered, "Soon, baby…real fuckin soon…"


	23. Chapter 23

**What If This Storm Ends (Part One of The Lightening Strike) by Snow Patrol, McFearless by Kings of Leon**

**Links are on my you tube for these songs.**

**Edward's POV**

I looked up into Jasper's deep blue eyes as he whispered, "Is this how you want me, Edward? Or would you rather be on top?"

My cock was sliding against his ass and my back arched as I groaned, "Oh God Jasper…I don't fucking care…I just want you…I'll take you however I can get you…"

He leaned down to my ear and nibbled it a bit before he whispered, "Soon, baby…real fuckin soon…"

I shivered as goose bumps erupted along my skin from those words.

_Soon I'll have all of him…every inch…_

He pulled away from my ear and brought his face just inches from mine. I felt his shallow breath fan across me and the look of desire in his midnight eyes was maddening. He whispered, "Can I touch you like that, Edward? Can I taste you?"

I nodded slightly, "But Jay, you don't have to just because I did…"

He smiled and whispered, "Fuck, Edward…I honestly didn't even ever think of that before or I woulda done that to you ages ago. I ain't ever felt like that before. I wanna make you feel how good you made me feel."

I gulped, suddenly a little nervous, as I whispered, "Okay, Jay."

His lips brushed mine softly as he whispered, "Only tongue for now, baby…I won't use my fingers unless you really want me to. I understand if you don't, darlin and you know I won't be mad, okay?"

I smiled now and whispered, "I know, Love. We'll go slow."

He pulled away with a soft smile and whispered, "I love you, Edward."

A deep burn resonated from my chest from the way he made me feel, "I love you too, Jasper."

He slowly started working his way down my body, licking and kissing and sucking my heated skin softly, reverently.

His hands rubbed and massaged my muscles as he went until my body was so relaxed that I just closed my eyes and let any inhibitions I had slip away.

I felt his hot breath at the tip of my cock and I moaned softly as he licked and sucked the head gently before taking me into his mouth completely. His tongue and lips and mouth was such a soft contrast to my throbbing rigid shaft and I moaned from the sensation.

_I swear his mouth was made for my cock…_

He took me in his warm wet mouth a few times and then wrapped his hand around it, softly tugging at the soft skin over the hardness. I closed my eyes when I felt his hot breath on my balls as he sucked them gently before moving down.

I tensed a little until I felt his hands slowly massaging my thighs and he whispered, "If you wanna stop, baby…just say the word."

I shook my head and my voice caught when I said, "I don't want to stop, Jay."

Then I heard him laugh softly, "Um…Edward? I have no idea what I'm doin so if I do something wrong, tell me."

I laughed softly now and breathed out, "Ah…the student becomes the teacher…"

He sighed and whispered, "You've taught me more than you'll ever know, Edward. Just relax, darlin."

I took a deep breath and when I felt his honey tongue reach out and lick my puckered hole, a shiver of pleasure ran through my body and I gasped. He giggled, "Just wait, darlin…it gets even better."

I gripped the sheets underneath my hands as his tongue began moving up and down, swirling around and gently curling through until I felt the tip of it slip inside.

_I know they said this felt good on the internet but damn…_

I moaned loudly and grabbed the pillow he used to stifle it. It smelled like him. His hands pushed my thighs up until I was spread open wide for him and even in this precarious position, I couldn't be embarrassed because the pleasure was just too intense.

He used his position of his hands to rock my hips gently back and forth as his tongue brought the most overwhelming ecstasy. I couldn't stop myself from reaching down and wrapping my hand around my cock and stroking it tentatively. The pleasure from both ends was earth shattering and this time, I bit the pillow.

And even though I was still a little nervous, I knew I wanted to feel his fingers the way he had felt mine. He must've read my mind because he lifted up and engulfed my cock in his mouth again as my body arched and I threw the pillow to the side to watch him. There was just nothing more beautiful than my golden haired, blue eyed angel with my cock in his mouth.

His fingers started rubbing my balls gently and then slipped down further to circle my hole. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes but instead, he shifted away from me.

I opened my eyes and he was lying on his back. He wrapped his arm underneath me and whispered, "C'mere pretty boy. You're gonna be on top so you can control how far you wanna go. You're in charge, Eddie so don't do anything you don't wanna do, okay?"

I was already trembling from both fear and anxiousness all at the same time but I nodded and crawled on top of him. My legs were straddling his hips and he had grown hard again. I looked down at him and he looked a little nervous now too.

He brought one hand to his mouth and I groaned as he licked his palm before reaching down and taking my straining, leaky cock in his hand and pumping me firm but slow. His eyes were dark blue again as he brought his other hand to his mouth and sucked two fingers in, getting them dripping wet before trailing down to my ass.

I felt one finger press gently against my hole and he whispered, "Ya still wanna do this, baby?"

I sucked in a ragged breath and nodded. He now took a breath and whispered again, "I'm only gonna put the tip of my finger in, darlin…if you want more, you can press down on it. Go really slow…we got all the time in the world. If you wanna stop, then we will. Ready?"

I swallowed hard and nodded again. I felt the tip of his finger slowly press a little harder until it slipped inside and I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Images and feelings of demons past fluttered on the edge of my mind though I desperately tried to will them away.

_This is Jasper…he won't hurt you…he'll be gentle…it's not him__…it's my angel…_

He whispered, "Open your eyes, Edward. Keep em on me…I need to see them, baby…please."

I opened my eyes and stared into his perfect blue eyes and golden curls that laid on the pillow underneath fanned out like a perfect halo. He smiled softly and whispered, "_My _hands are the only ones to _ever _touch you _ever _again. Do ya remember what I said to ya the very first time I ever touched you, Edward? You're mine now, baby and I promise to always take good care of you."

And I knew that he would.

I smiled back and whispered, "I know, Jay. I'm not scared anymore. I'm ready."

Very slowly, I started to go down on his finger, taking just a little more and rocking my hips back and forth.

_Wow…this doesn't feel bad at all…kind of strange but not bad…_

His hand was still stroking my cock as it ached for release and I rode his finger slowly, trying to get used to the intense feeling.

And then I felt his finger curve slightly and rub against what I'm guessing is my prostate because the internet said that it feels amazing when that happens.

My mouth fell open and I gasped as I clenched his chest with my fingers, "Ugh…" Now my voice had raised an octave just like his did and I suddenly understood what that was all about.

He giggled, "I hit your magic spot, huh?"

His finger kept rubbing against it and I suddenly found my hips moving more fervently against him.

I tried to speak but it came out in a throaty moan, "That's…the…prostate…babe…"

He smiled as I collapsed against his chest. His hand unwrapped around my cock and started brushing through my hair, "Prostate is way too scientific soundin, babe…I'm callin it your magic spot."

I giggled and moaned all at the same time. Now his hard cock was rubbing against mine as I continued moving on top of him.

I clutched at his chest as I rocked back and forth on his finger and I finally whispered, "More, baby…"

He sighed, "It's hurts a little, darlin…"

I shook my head as the burning in my abdomen grew, "I don't care…it's worth it, right?"

He smiled up at me, "Yeah…it's only hurts a second and then it feels real fuckin good…ya ready?"

I felt his other wet finger at my hole and I nodded as I very slowly pushed down on it, again rocking my hips to just take a little at a time. There was just a small flash of slight pain but when both fingers started rubbing my "magic" spot…I had to bite his nipple to keep from screaming out in pleasure.

Now he moaned loudly and I clamped my hand down quickly on his mouth to stifle it.

And I started whimpering against his chest, "Oh God…I'm…I'm gonna…Ugh…"

I came hard between our stomachs and raised my hips a few more times when I felt him cum too. He was biting his lip to keep from being too loud. We both laid there, panting and sweating. He removed his fingers and just massaged my ass cheeks for a minute while I recovered.

Eventually, I leaned up and kissed him quickly before rolling off of him for fear that I might be crushing him. We were both sticky and covered in sweat. He turned to me and smiled, "So, what brought all this on, Eddie?"

I felt my cheeks begin to burn as I whispered, "Um…I don't know…I guess, seeing you tonight…all dressed in black and doing…um…bad things. I guess it kind of turned me on."

He laughed softly as he pulled me to him, "You really do like bad boys, huh?"

I just smiled against his chest as I cuddled up to him as my suddenly sleepy eyes closed.

The next morning, I rolled over and instinctively felt around for Jasper. I sighed when his warm body wasn't next to me. I did, however, feel a piece of paper.

I opened my eyes and pulled out the paper from under the pillow. I smiled as I recognized Jasper's messy handwriting…

_Hey there Sleeping Beauty. You'll find you're not all sticky this morning. I told you I'd take care of you. As much as it went against every instinct I have, I dressed you in some pajama pants in case your mama came in. _

_Now about this whole internet porn thing…can we get together tonight and do a little research together?_

_I love you, Edward._

_Yours forever,_

_Jasper_

I smiled and crawled out of bed. Watching porn with Jay would be a little embarrassing but also pretty damn hot so I was game. I tucked the note inside our album he had made us and hid it back in my closet.

I wondered about what the plan was now that we had evidence to use against James and his band of sicko's. Jasper said we'd all talk about it tonight at Rosalie's house.

So, finally the evening rolled around and Emmett came and picked us up. As soon as we got there, we started drinking. Jane had come over again but her mother was babysitting so she was able to cut loose and have some fun.

Her and Alice were snuggled on the couch together. I was really happy for them, they seemed to be very comfortable together and I knew how much that meant.

Jasper called everyone together and told them that we had went to Laurent's house and gotten some video's and pictures. Em scolded us a bit for not bringing him along but we explained that it was last minute.

Brady sighed, "So, have you looked at the videos?"

Jasper shook his head, "No…haven't had the courage yet. I don't know if I really wanna know what's on them."

Em took one of them and a bottle of Jack Daniels, "I'm going into the bedroom and look at this. I have to know if it's good enough evidence to get those mother fuckers put away for life."

He walked into the room and shut the door behind him. Jasper plopped down in the recliner and pulled me onto his lap. We all waited anxiously for him to return. Just a few minutes later he walked out, with blood shot eyes that were glossy with unshed tears. He cleared his throat and it was husky as he spoke quietly, "It's enough. I couldn't watch but a couple of minutes but from what I saw…these bastards will burn in hell for what they've done."

Alice let out a breath, "Well, at least we can turn this in to the cops now and get this over with."

Jasper held me a little tighter when he spoke, "Guys? We can't give this to the cops…"

My head shot up as I almost screamed, "What?!"

He sighed and begin to explain, "The whole reason I got this stuff was so I would know for sure that there was evidence to put them away but we can't be the ones to do it. If we give those videos to the cops, they're gonna wanna know how we got them. I committed a felony to get them and they would be thrown out of court in a heartbeat, and I'd go to jail. I have strikes against me already, something like this would put me away for awhile."

Brady sighed, "Well, why don't we just follow through with what we were going to do before with Edward setting up James for drugs…"

Jasper shook his head, "That ain't gonna work no more. James and his band of merry sicko's ain't gonna come anywhere near any of us after the cops have already questioned him about Tommy. They're not that stupid. They might try to get one of us alone but they wouldn't be stupid enough to fall in that trap now."

I ran my hands through my hair and tugged at the locks in frustration, "What the hell are we going to do now, Jay?"

I shivered when he smiled that wicked little smile, "Well, they wanna fuck with us…I say we fuck with them right back. Jane, you got the cell numbers of all the employees at the bar, right?"

She nodded as she smiled now, "Yeah…"

He laughs, "I'm gonna buy a prepaid phone and we're gonna send this video to them. I got his parents cell numbers off the internet so they'll get it too. I imagine it won't be too hard to find the parents of Laurent and Victoria either. Plus, I got some pictures of James with a couple different boys. I already called his mama and pretended to be his boyfriend so I figure I can leave these pictures in their as proof of what their son has been doing. My guess is that they sure as hell won't be hiring any fancy lawyer to defend him this time."

Emmett sighed, "So you think one of those people will turn him in then?"

Jasper nodded, "Yeah, at least one person outta all those people should show the video to the cops. That should give them probable cause to search Laurent's house since I assume he's in the video too…"

He looked over to Em who just nodded. He smiled, "Well then, all we gotta do is sit back and wait. Like I said before though, no one goes anywhere alone until this is all over."

We all agreed and Jay pulled out the DVD labeled 'Tommy McCarty.' He smiled over at Em, "Wanna move this little party outside and have a bonfire?"

Em grabbed the video and we headed outside. We made a little pit in the grass and used some liquor and Jay's lighter to make a small fire. Em threw the tape in and we watched it burn, wishing that this simple act would burn away everything that happened.

We finally watched the fire burn out and Rosalie huddled up to Em, "Hey, let's go swimming…that heated pool is calling to me."

So, we all went in and changed and met out in the pool. I loved watching Jasper swim. His body was long and lean but his muscles were well defined and just beautiful, especially when wet. He was laughing with that amazing wide dimpled grin and wet honey curls were bouncing around. I was leaning against the edge just admiring him play around with Emmett and Brady when Alice, Jane, and Rose swam up to me. Jane smirked, "Enjoying the scenery, Edward?"

I sighed and probably blushed a little, "Um…yeah."

She smiled and looked at Alice in her little red polka dot bikini, "Mmm…me too."

Alice laughed and playfully splashed her.

A minute later, the rest if the guys were swimming up to us. Em pulled Rose out and dunked her so they went to war. Brady's phone rang and he hopped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He flipped it open, "Hey Tommy!" Then he smiled over at us, "I'm going to go talk with him before it's his lights out…"

We nodded and he walked away and left the pool area. I looked around for Jay and then he popped up from underneath the water right in front of me, looking all like a damn Greek God.

He shook his wet curls and the water droplets sprayed all over me, causing me to giggle and shelter myself. I laughed, "Dick!"

He put his arms on either side of me and pinned me to the wall. He leaned down and laughed softly in my ear, "You just can't get my dick off your mind you dirty boy…"

I pulled away and smirked, "Funny…" then I slid my hands down the back of his trunks, squeezing his ass and bringing his hips crashing into mine, "…but it's not _just _your dick I can't get off my mind…it's your ass too, Jay."

He groaned softly in my ear and I felt him getting hard as he whispered mostly to himself, "Fuck, I love aggressive Edward…" before he started kissing and nipping at my neck.

I whispered, "Want to go do some…um…research, Jay?"

His eyes snapped to mine and they had turned a deep midnight blue, "Fuck yeah I do…"

I can't help the crooked grin that now graces my face as we pull ourselves out of the pool and quickly wrap towels around us to try and hide our…um…well, boners.

We tell everyone we're going to bed for the night and of course they throw out their smart ass comments and cat calls which make me blush because they know that we're not going to sleep.

We go to "our" room and I watch as he peels off his swim shorts from his body…admiring the way they cling to his muscular thighs. He smirks and starts to roll them down slowly because he knows I'm watching. My breathing hitches at the sight of his beautiful body and I lick my lips at the little drops of water that fall from his honey curls and trail down his luscious backside.

Once he kicks them off, he gives me that wicked little grin and I bite my lip to stifle the moan as he stands there naked and wet and fucking gorgeous. I'm unable to move as that predatory gleam comes into his rapidly darkening eyes.

I turn to lock the door and the next thing I know, I'm being pressed against the door and his erection is rubbing against my ass. I moan loudly as his fingers grip the sides of my shorts and yank them roughly down my legs. I kick them off and he's pressed against me again but this time, it's skin on skin.

His hands grip mine tightly, our knuckles turning white from the infallible hold. He starts kissing my neck and we're both breathing heavily. And then it hits me…the smell of whiskey from his breath and my eyes close tight.

_Daddy's little boy…I love you more than you could ever know…let me show you how much I love you…it's okay…you're daddy's good boy…_

I can't help the tears that seep out from my clasped eyes as I try my best to fight the memory away…

_This is Jasper…he won't hurt you…he really does love you…you're safe…_

I feel him grinding into me again and I begin trembling, just wanting this reaction to stop because I want Jasper more than I've ever wanted anything. I want him…want this…

And then he whispers against my neck, "I love you, baby…"

And I can't stop the sob as I cry out in a panicked whisper, "Please stop…"

He immediately stops when he realizes I'm crying and he rips his body away from mine. I slump to the floor, keeping my eyes shut tightly and wrap my arms around my knees as I rock back and forth. I whisper over and over as I hear the whispers and laughter creeping in, "Please just stop…please just go away…you're not real…"

A moment later, he's wrapping a blanket around my shoulders and he's pulled on his jeans. I'm trying to calm myself down but I just can't get the trembling and rocking to stop. Everything's a little fuzzy and I know that he's speaking to me because I can see his lips moving but everything's trapped in a hazy shroud of hushed whispers.

I close my eyes again as he cradles me in his arms and picks me up. I hold onto him so tight that I know I must be hurting him. I open my eyes for just a second and see a flash of perfect white wings so I close my eyes again, reminding myself that they're not real and this will be over soon if I can just hang on a little longer.

_My angel will make it go away…_

The smell of bleach and mud assaults my senses and I gasp and gag as I writhe in his arms to try and breathe. The whispers grow louder but are still muddled and hazy.

Then I hear it, the rain beating against the trunk and I gasp again as the warm water hits my bare skin, cleansing me once again.

_I knew he would save me…_

My eyes open as I suck in air and try to gather my senses. I see that I'm sitting in the bathtub with the shower washing over me. I turn to see Jasper standing at the sink, brushing his teeth vigorously.

He throws the toothbrush in the sink and jumps in the tub with me, jeans and all. He pulls me into his arms and his eyes are red and puffy, "I'm so fuckin sorry, Edward…I should've known better…I usually drink vodka so there's no smell…and then I fuckin attack you from the back and…I should've fuckin known…I'm so sorry"

He's rambling as I hold him tight, relishing in the familiar strength of his body against mine, and whisper, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…"

I hear a loud banging at the door causing me to jump. Em's booming voice resonates through the frame, "Are you guys okay?! What the hell's going on?!"

Jasper yells back, "We're okay…just give us a minute!"

His hands are on the back of my neck as his baby blue bloodshot eyes search mine, "Edward?"

I nod and whisper again, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…"

He pulls me back into a tight hug, "No more drinkin, baby…I swear I won't ever drink again…this was my fault…"

I shake my head against his shoulder and grasp at his back, holding him as close as I can get. My breathing is getting calmer and everything's back in focus, "It's not your fault, please don't feel like that. I'm okay now, Jay. Really, everything's okay now."

He cradled my face and now his honey breath washed across me with a hint of mint, "You sure you're okay?"

I sigh and smile as his beautiful scent fills me, "Mmm…honey."

He laughed softly and sniffled, "I love you, Edward. That'll never happen again, darlin, I swear."

I smiled and wiped my eyes, "I love you too, Jay. It really wasn't your fault."

He stood and helped me up and now I noticed that we were still in the shower and I really wanted to take advantage of that. I looked down at his wet jeans, unbuttoned and low on his hips with a hint of blonde hair that shown.

I whispered, "Let's you get you out of these, baby…"

My hands went to his jeans as I began tugging them down and he whispered, "Edward…we don't have to…we really ain't gotta…"

But then I dropped to my knees with the overwhelming need to take him into my mouth and let his honey wash away any remnants from my earlier disaster.

He moaned and gripped my hair as I wrapped my hand around his length. I couldn't help the almost animalistic urge that overtook me as I sucked his rapidly hardening cock into my mouth. He moaned softly, "Fuck…are you sure we should be…ugh…oh God…so soon after what…feels so fuckin good…but…oh fuck it…suck my dick, baby…just like that…"

I smiled, well as much as I could with his dick in my mouth, as he gave into me and let me suck him without putting up much of a fight about it. I was on my knees and I looked up into his dark blue eyes. The warm water was washing over our bodies and I fixated on the way his honey curls hung down, dripping wet and darkened from the wetness.

His pink lips were slightly parted as he stared at me intently through hooded eyes, every now and then whispering a soft, "Fuck" or low moan. His rough fingertips pushed my damp hair from my eyes as his other hand steadied himself against the wall of the shower.

I watched his strong chest heave in and out with each shallow breath and the drops of water slowly cascading down the marbled perfection. He whispered, "C'mere Edward…I wanna touch you too…"

I release his cock from my lips as his hands hold onto my arms and help me rise to my feet. He's breathing heavily as he just looks at me for a moment, brushing his calloused thumb softly back and forth across my cheek.

I am frozen by the intensity of his midnight eyes, staring at me with such emotion that my heart is now beating wildly in my chest in anticipation. His hand slides down from my cheek, along my neck, and down my chest until settling over my heart. He smiles softly now and whispers, "I'm making your heart beat like that, ain't I?"

I smile back and am pretty sure I blush as I nod, "Yeah."

Now his smile widens and I am graced with his beautiful dimples that I love so much. He reaches over and grabs the body wash, pouring a little in his hands and lathering them up. Then he reaches down and takes my cock into his soapy hand and I lean forward, resting my head against his shoulder because it feels _so fucking good. _

I moan against his skin and my tongue tastes his flesh causing him to shiver. I quickly mimic his actions with the body wash and wrap my hand around his length. Our free hands are eagerly roaming one another's bodies and he moans loudly as I grab his shaft and pump his hard cock slowly in my soaped up hand.

He brings his lips to mine and kisses me hungrily as I'm backed up against the shower wall. The warm water creates a slippery wonderland for us as our bodies slide against each other's and our hands work on one another to bring us quickly to ecstasy.

He moans into my mouth as I feel him constrict in my hand and cums hard on my stomach. I follow suit quickly and cover his hand and stomach with my own release.

He giggles as he pulls away, "Man…we really need to get some lube, Edward. That felt fuckin amazing."

I laugh softly too and just wrap my arms around his neck. We hold onto each other for awhile and eventually pull away to get cleaned up. We take turns lathering one another up and washing away the suds and then we wash each other's hair. And I think to myself as his fingertips massage my scalp under the warm water…

_I never want to take a shower without him again…_

Finally, the warm water turns chilly and we hear another knock at the door followed by Em's loud voice, "Quit jerking each other off and get the hell out here!"

We both just shake our heads and laugh as Jay turns off the shower. He hands me a towel and then grabs one for himself. We wrap them around our waists before opening up the door.

He grabs my hand as we walk down the hallway. Brady's door opens and he says, "Is everything…"

He stops dead in his tracks, mouth hung open and eyes traveling from the floor up each of us clad in only towels and still wet. He gulps and turns bright red as he mutters, "Well hell…you could warn a guy, you know?"

Then he shuts his eyes and turns around, "Um…are you okay?"

Jasper smirks at me and I can feel my cheeks turning red. He laughs softly, "Yeah, man…everything's okay. We're gonna go get dressed."

Brady lets out a breath while his back is still turned and stutters, "Y…yeah…that would be…um…much appreciated."

Jasper just laughs and pulls me along but as we reach our door, Em and Alice come running up. Alice starts going a hundred miles a minute, "Oh my God, Edward, are you okay? It sounded like you couldn't breathe! We've been worried to death!"

I smile and kind of hide behind Jasper now as I'm feeling very awkward in this towel, "Um…yeah, I was having…sort of a panic attack but…um…I'm okay now."

Alice lets out a breath and smiles, "Okay, Edward. I'm glad you're okay." Then she turned and left me, Em, and Jay.

Em laughs, "Dude, I'd panic too if I had to see Jay naked!"

Jasper smirked again and drawled out, "Fuck you, dude…you'd only panic cuz you'd be wonderin why your dick was so small compared to my Lochness Monster…"

Emmett grabs his junk and booms again, "Dude! I'm packing the mighty cockasaurus here!"

Now I laugh against Jasper's shoulder and decide to help him out, "I only panicked because I didn't know where it all would fit…"

Now they both start laughing as Em holds up his hands, "Too much information, Edward! Jesus Christ! It's always the quiet ones you got to worry about!"

Jasper turns his head and smiles at me, "Nice."

I laugh and feel my cheeks burn hotter as I bury my face in his shoulder, "Um…can we go to bed now?"

He turns back to Em, "We're goin to bed, man. See ya in the mornin."

Em just shakes his head and still laughs as he says good night.

Jay opens the door and lets me duck in as I'm quite embarrassed right now. He shuts the door behind him and locks it. I feel his hands on my shoulders now, gently massaging as he whispers, "It's just you and me now, baby…you sure you feel alright now?"

I turn my head to look into his clear sky blue eyes, "Yeah, Jay…really, I'm fine now. Sorry I freaked out on you."

He brings his body up against my back as he now places soft kisses on my shoulder and whispers, "You don't have to be sorry for anything, Edward. I never even thought about you smellin whiskey on my breath…that is what happened, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah…but still…I was trying to fight it…I don't want you to feel like you can't have a drink or something because of me."

He turned me around gently and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Darlin, I don't need to drink. I only do it cuz everyone else does but honestly, all I need is you. I ain't gonna drink no more, baby. When I drink, I forget those little things and I don't ever wanna hurt you again cuz of it. It's not worth it. Besides, all the alcohol and drug problems that run in my family…I'm probably better off just avoidin the shit anyway."

I smile because I think it's really sweet that he would completely give up something he enjoys, just for me but I can't help but feel a little bad too.

He pulls me backwards to the bed until he flops down on his back and pulls me on top of him. I laugh and bring myself up on my arms to hover above him. Then he has a serious look on his face and whispers, "Edward? Can I talk to you about something?"

My heart skips a beat but I nod, "Of course, Jay…anything."

He sighs and rolls me to my side so that we're face to face with our legs tangled up and towels climbing up high on our thighs.

He brushed my hair away from my face and takes a breath, "Edward? I know you think you're ready for sex but I gotta be honest, darlin…I just don't think you are yet. I mean, what if we start to get into it and something happens that triggers a panic attack or a flashback? I don't think I could handle it if that happened."

_Crap! No…I was so damn close…he can't back out now…fix this, Edward…fast!_

I let out the breath I was holding and run my fingers through his damp golden curls, "Jay…I'm sorry about what happened tonight but we were both drinking and everything was just kind of spontaneous. When we make love for the first time, it will be planned out…I'll know what to expect and I'll be ready for it. I really do want this, Jasper…I want you…all of you. I need you. If I have to wait much longer I might spontaneously combust."

He laughs a little and I smile that crooked smile that usually makes him harden in seconds. It works because I feel it against my leg. He sighs, "I just don't want you to ever regret it, Edward. It would fuckin kill me if we did it and you regretted it cuz something happened. I'm scared to death I'm gonna fuck this up and you only got one shot at your first time, darlin."

I know what I need to do now to convince him that I'm ready. I need to be aggressive and show him. So, I roll over on top of him and grind my towel clad erection into his. He moans and I begin nipping at his throat and neck as I continue to grind on him, "Jay…I'm ready. I need to feel your heated flesh surround me…I need to be inside you…" I reached down and undid both of our towels so that our skin was connected now, "I need to make love to you…make you mine forever…all mine, Jay…no one else will ever touch you…"

He moans as his hands roam my back and I continue biting and sucking on his throat and collarbone and neck as I roll my hips gently on top of him. The feel of our cocks trapped between our hard stomachs and hot skin is driving me crazy and I can't wait to feel him from the inside.

It doesn't take long until we're rolling around, once again, fighting for dominance. He quickly rolls us over until he is on top. He's grinding his hips hard against me as he bites my neck and I whimper in delight. But he still hasn't said anything about what we were talking about so I try to use reverse psychology.

I whisper in shallow breaths, "Don't you want me, Jay? Don't you want to fuck me?"

He growls against my neck and bites again, "You know I fuckin want you, Edward…I wanna fuck you so bad I can barely fuckin stand it…"

I moan out as his hipbone hits mine and his teeth bite into my neck and creates a wonderful mixture pleasure and pain, "Then do it, Jay…fuck me, baby…"

He raises up and stares at me with hooded midnight eyes, "Ya really want me, Edward? Right now?"

I nod vehemently, "Yes. Please, Jay…"

I watch as he licks his palm and grabs his thick, hard cock.

_Wow…it's really…um…big…_

I gulp when he positions it at my entrance and starts rubbing it against my ass, "Ya ready, Edward?"

_Shit…I didn't really think he'd do it right now…do I want this right now? _

I feel him press a little harder against me and I jump, "Wait! Uh…maybe now isn't the right time!"

He laughs and rolls over onto his back, "Fuckin tease."

I roll to my side, "I'm sorry, Jay…I really do want to but…um…ya know, lube and stuff and um, research?"

He smiles and brushes his fingertips across my cheek, "Edward, I wasn't really gonna do it. Nice try though…the whole 'you don't want me' thing was pretty creative."

I furrow my brows and scowl, "You were teasing me?"

He laughs again as I glare at him, "Aww…baby, don't be mad. I know we need to do some research but I know enough to realize we need lube. We'll go tomorrow and buy some, okay?"

I sigh and curl up into his chest as he plays with my hair, "Okay. But we are going to make love soon, right?"

He whispers, "Soon, darlin."

I turn my face up to his and smile, "So, um…want to do that 69 thing?"

He laughs softly, "Yeah, baby. Want top or bottom?"

I smile back, "Side to side."

* * *

The next morning Em drives us to Seattle early in the morning and we drop those pictures of James in his parent's mailbox. We then stop at a drug store to get a prepaid phone and some…um…lube.

Once again, I bury my face in Jasper's shoulder as he looks at the huge amount of lube on the shelf. His head is cocked to the side and he whispers, "Who the fuck woulda thought there'd be so many? Which one do I get?"

I can feel my cheeks burning as I continue to hide my face, "I don't know…just pick something."

Emmett then walks down the aisle, "Holy shit! So you're finally gonna pop your man cherries, huh? Good for you!"

I turn and whisper harshly, "Emmet! Shut the hell up!"

He claps his hand on my back and laughs, "Why are you embarrassed, Edward? I guess you finally figured out where it would all fit!"

I groan and Jasper is laughing his ass off.

_Asshole._

Emmett grabs a box of condoms and Jasper finally grabs a bottle from the shelf and I excuse myself to wait out in the car because I don't think I can actually face the woman at the counter.

I watch them come out and now Emmett is bright red. When they get in the car, Emmett mutters, "Don't say a fucking word, Jay."

Jasper is, again, laughing so hard that he has to wipe the tears from his eyes. I smile, "What's so funny?"

He can barely get out, "The woman thought me and Em were together! He tried to deny it and I slapped his arm and told him that if he was embarrassed to be with me then I was never gonna fuck him like he's been begging me too!"

Emmett scowled, "Dude! That was not funny!"

Now I'm laughing, "You deserved that, Em…"

Jasper smiles over at him and shrugs, "Hey bro, payback's a bitch. You embarrassed my boyfriend so I embarrassed you."

He turns the car on and mutters again, "Asshole."

He's not really mad and things are back to normal as we drive back home. He drops us off at home and I gasp as I see my dad in the driveway on a brand new motorcycle.

Jay runs up to him, "Holy sh…crap! Is that a Ducati?"

Dad smiles, "Yep. I bought it off a guy at work. Do you like it?"

Jasper runs his finger down the sleek black motorcycle and slyly adjusts himself, "You took that whole 'Big Daddy C' thing to heart, huh man? This bike is sick."

Dad laughs, "It is pretty sick, huh? I thought since you finished your bike and you're about to get your license…that maybe we could go riding together this summer."

Jasper smiles that wide dimpled grin, "Hell yeah, Carlisle. Although my bike will look like crap next to this one."

Dad shrugs, "Maybe if you ace your classes and your driving test…maybe I'll let you drive it sometime."

Jasper's whole face lights up, "Really?"

Dad nods and pulls his helmet on, "Yep, really." Just then mom comes running out of the house in a pair of skin tight jeans and a leather jacket.

I furrow my brows, "Mom?"

She smiles, "Oh, hi sweetie! Your dad and I are going for a drive on his new bike! Isn't it pretty? Don't wait up!"

She hops on behind him and he hands her a helmet, "Yeah boys…and remember…"

I roll my eyes, "Oh, so you and mom get to go joyriding and we're stuck here being good?"

He sighs and rolls his eyes right back, "If you ever have children, son…you'll understand. Now be good!"

I smile and fake salute, "Yes sir."

He smirks, "Smart ass. Jasper, keep him in line."

I scoff and Jay smiles as he wraps his arm around my shoulder, "I'll try, Carlisle…you know how much of a trouble maker he can be…"

Now I scoff at Jay and dad smiles as he revs up the engine, "I know, son…just do the best you can."

Jasper's laughing again as I fold my arms across my chest and huff, "I'm the good one."

Dad and mom wave as they race out of the garage. Jay turns to me and smiles, "So, you naughty boy…wanna go watch porn?"

I smirk, "And my dad thinks I'm the one who needs watched."

We go up to my room and he plops down in my computer chair, "C'mon babe…have a seat and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up."

I smirk and roll my eyes as I sit on his lap, "Funny."

He laughs and I log on quickly and go to my favorites. He gasps, "Dude? You have this shit bookmarked?"

My cheeks begin to burn, "Um…yeah. Just these two guys…they're my favorite."

I click on the link to my favorite video I found of two blonde haired, blue eyed boys. They're pretty hot, not nearly as hot as Jay, but then again, who is?

We start to watch as they lie on their bed kissing passionately and rubbing all over one another.

Jay gulps slightly, "Um…Edward?"

I turn my face to his, "Yeah?"

Now his cheeks are starting to turn pink, "Do you…um…do you think these guys are hot?"

I nod, "Yeah…don't you?"

He shrugs, "They're good looking. Do you think they're better looking than me?"

I laugh as I lean down and kiss his forehead, "Not a chance, babe. Are you jealous?"

He shrugs again, "Um…no…but…why do you have them bookmarked? Do you watch this a lot?"

I smile now because it's obvious that he is jealous, "When I started…um…researching, I went through, like, ten sites but they were all kind of gross and freaked me out. I found this one because it said that they were boyfriends and so I thought that maybe the intimacy would be better. It really is a whole lot better. You see how loving and gentle they are with each other?"

He nods and I continue, "Well, the other sites I looked at…the guys just…it wasn't sexy, ya know? They didn't seem like they even really liked each other and some of them were old or hairy…it was just…nasty. But I found these guys and they're cute and they act like boyfriends so I liked it."

He smiles now, "Okay, babe…I get it."

I turn back to the screen now as the longer haired blonde is giving the other one a blow job. We watch for a few minutes and I feel Jay start to harden beneath me. Then he whispers, "Edward?"

I turn to look at him, "Yeah?"

"Why'dja start watching porn? Am I not doing something right?"

I laugh now, "Jasper? I can't believe you're jealous that I'm watching porn. Like I said before, I watched it to learn stuff. You do everything right. I mean, why do you watch porn?"

His cheeks really turn pink now, "Um…I've never watched porn before, Edward."

Now I'm shocked as I turn my whole body on his lap to face him, "Really? But you've done so much and…I don't understand."

He sighs and runs a hand through his blonde curls, "I don't know. I guess…I never really wanted to do any of this stuff before you, Edward. I mean, I know I _have _done a lot but only cuz I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I never really wanted anyone before you. I guess what I'm tryin to say is…I didn't really like sex that much before you so I just wasn't that interested."

Now I feel kind of bad for him. His whole sexual outlook was just as screwed up as mine was…well, before he came along anyway. So I smiled, "Well, do you like it?"

He smiles now, "Yeah…they're not nearly as sexy as you but…it's kinda hot, I guess."

We turn our attention back to the screen as the two boys are now doing 69. His hand is at the hem of my shirt, rubbing softly as it moves it way underneath and begins caressing my stomach. My arm is around his shoulders and my hand is playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

The longer haired boy is now lubing up his fingers and stretching his boyfriend to get him ready. Jay whispers, "So I guess we do that for awhile with our fingers first? Does that help?"

_Like I'm Dr. Ruth…_

I shrug, "I don't know…I guess it helps…from what I've read anyway."

He turns to me again, "So you've read stuff too?"

I smile, "Um…yeah. Blame it on dad and his whole 'anal preparation' speech. I just want to make sure we do this right, Jay. I mean, you're going to be on the receiving end first and I don't want to hurt you…I want it to feel good to you too."

He smiles, "That guy looks like it feels pretty damn good."

I turn back to the screen and see the long haired boy is now making love to the other one. His legs are up on his shoulders and he's jerking himself off as they kiss. The one on top stops a few times to add more lube so I figure that's pretty important too.

Jay is now rock hard beneath me and I'm just as hard against my stomach. I feel Jasper's hands pushing up my t-shirt so I raise my arms to let him take it off. He drops it to the floor and I reach down to pull his off.

Then his hands are at my jeans, popping open the button and pulling down the zipper. His fingers reach into my boxer briefs and grasp my hard cock. He whispers in my ear, "Wanna try out that lube?"

I nod and stand up, pulling him over to the bed as we both begin tearing off the remainder of each other's clothes until we fall on the bed kissing and naked. He leans over to the nightstand and grabs the lube.

Then he grabs his phone and smiles, "Can I make a movie of you, Edward?"

My cheeks burn as I stutter, "Um…huh?"

He smiles, "C'mon, babe. I can lock the video so no one sees it…but if I wanna watch porn…I'd rather see you. Please?"

_Damn Jasper and those baby blue puppy dog eyes and that damn pink pouty lip…_

I sigh, "Okay, Jay."

His face lights up, "Really?"

I nod, "Yeah just please make sure that no one can see it."

He smiles as he flips through his phone and starts recording, "I promise, baby. I love you, Edward."

I smile, "I love you too, Jasper."

I sit up on my elbows as I watch him pour a little lube on his hand. Then he reaches down and takes my cock in his hand and I jump, "Holy shit that's cold!"

He laughs, "Shit, man…sorry."

I laugh and grab the bottle and pour a little into my hand, rubbing my palms together to warm it up before grabbing his cock.

The slick feeling of the lube is incredible and I think he agrees. He's on his knees, between my legs stroking me and I'm on my back, up on my elbows pumping him. Both of our heads fall back as we moan and pull at the taut skin with a viciousness. He's still holding onto that phone and recording my every move…but I think it's kind of sexy and sweet that he'd rather watch me than some random guys on the internet.

He leans over top of me as his eyes close and his beautiful face twists with pleasure. I can feel the burning all the way in my toes and the sight of him in ecstasy above me, quickly brings me over the edge.

I moan as I throw my head back into the pillow and cum all over his hand and our stomachs. His phone is still watching my face as he breaths out, "Fuckin beautiful…"

His release quickly follows and he collapses on top of me, breathing heavily. He holds his camera out to the side so that it can record both of our faces. He smiles, "Say something nice for me, baby…so I can jerk off to this later."

I laugh and look into the camera, "That's right, baby…I'm Edward fucking Cullen and I fucking own you. Don't forget it…I love you, Jay."

He laughs, "Yeah, you fuckin own me, Eddie. I love you too."

* * *

The next day we get up and go to school. Jay had sent the video of James out to a whole hell of a lot of people and then we burned the phone and receipt. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach all day but managed to make it through school.

At the end of the day, me, Rose, Em, and Jay walked out to Em's car to find that all four tires were slashed. Alice was being picked up by Jane and Gracie when they saw us. They stopped and Jane sighed, "Shit. I wasn't at work last night but I heard it was pretty brutal. I just know James is behind this."

Alice sighed, "Well, Edward and Jasper live closer so why don't we give them a ride home and then come back and pick up Rose and Em?"

She smiled, "Sure, hop in boys. We'll be back in a few minutes."

I sat on one side of Gracie as Jay sat on the other. She was babbling about daycare and cookies as we made our way home.

Suddenly, Jane slammed on the breaks and yelled, "Shit!"

I looked ahead and saw a black sedan had pulled out right in front of her and stopped. I watched as James got out of the car. Jane quickly threw it in reverse, only to slam into the car that had parked behind her. Laurent got out of that one, along with Victoria and another man I didn't recognize.

Jane was hysterical, "Gracie! Is she okay?"

Gracie was laughing and wanted to do it again but panic had settled in. Jasper looked at Alice, "Call Em…stay in the car with that baby! Do not get out of the fuckin car!"

Then he jumped out and I quickly jumped out on my side. James, Laurent, and the unknown man were calmly walking over to us with evil smirk's on their faces and Jasper whispered, "Start swinging, Eddie."

Then he just leapt at James and hit him in the jaw with everything he had, sending them both to the ground. I turned and hit the first person within reach, Laurent. He stumbled back a few times but then rushed at me and knocked us both to the ground. I saw Jasper and James rolling around and beating the hell out of each other but I couldn't look long when I felt a right hook to my cheek.

My head jerked as Laurent grabbed me and I quickly kneed him in the balls and just started hitting back. I was panicking because we were struggling and I couldn't keep an eye on Jasper.

I saw Victoria pull Jane from the car and heard Gracie screaming. Alice then jumped out and jumped on Victoria's back. I saw Jane land a good punch to the red head's eye but then I got the wind knocked out of me as the unknown man kicked me in my stomach.

I heaved as my chest constricted. I was able to see Jasper for a moment and he had James pinned against the black sedan, beating the shit out of him.

I saw the unknown man run up behind him and with every bit of breath I could muster I yelled, "Jay, behind you!"

Jasper ducked before he even turned and the punch meant for him went wildly through the air. He lunged at the guy and knocked him to the ground. Laurent was a hell of a lot bigger and bulkier than me and I didn't know how many more hits I could take. I couldn't get a good hit on him.

Then I remembered Jasper's words about using whatever was around and to not fight fair in a street fight. We were on the ground by Jane's car and the door was open. I lifted my legs and kicked him in the stomach with everything I had. He went flying backwards and landed between the door and the seat so then I kicked the door shut as hard as I could.

He screamed out as the door slammed against his legs and flew back open…so I kicked it again and he screamed once more, falling to the ground.

I scrambled to my feet and saw the man on top of Jasper, they were exchanging punches but he didn't see me come up behind him. I was holding my ribs that ached like hell and I feared that I couldn't get enough wind to hit or kick him, so I pulled off my belt and wrapped it tightly in my hands before quickly putting it over his head and wrapping it around his neck.

I held as tight as I could so Jay could knock the fucker's teeth out. He started hitting him over and over until I collapsed from exhaustion and the man collapsed too. I saw Jane stomping on Victoria with her high heeled shoe as she screamed out, "This may hurt just a little you fucking bitch!"

It was then that I noticed the cops. They had pulled up and jumped out of their cars. Jasper was still punching the man on the ground until one of the cops tackled him to the ground and cuffed him.

Everything was blurry as I saw two cops pull Jay up to his feet and slam him against the hood of one of the cars. I tried to get up and say something but I had no air left. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as I watched them frisk him and then throw him into the back seat of their car.

The last thing I remember is seeing his beautiful face, all bloodied as he mouthed, "I'm sorry…" through the window of the police car.

Then everything went black.

**I know you guys hate me right now…but leave me some love anyway…please?**


	24. Chapter 24

**First…I live in Indiana so GO COLTS!**

**Second, I have a story to recommend. It's fuckin amazing! It's an all vamp E/J fic called 'Secrets and Lies' by Athey. It's in my favorites. The emotions this woman catches in this fic are just incredible. I'm loving it hard so go check it out.**

**Third, another big thanks to Mia for drawing another beautiful pic of my boys! I'm trying to get it uploaded as my new avatar so keep an eye out! You rock!**

**Songs are in my you tube…link is on my profile…**

**Playlist: In One Ear by Cage the Elephant, Make This Go On Forever by Snow Patrol, Run by Snow Patrol, Nothing Man by Pearl Jam, Hold Me In Your Arms by The Black Keys, and Home by Nine Inch Nails**

**Jasper's POV**

The second I jumped outta that car, my mind was in overdrive. I didn't know what these mother fuckers were gonna try but I sure as fuck knew I wasn't gonna wait around and find out. I didn't want Edward in this shit. These were grown fuckin men and he wasn't that experienced of a fighter yet but what fuckin choice did I have? I'm one bad mother fucker but even I ain't stupid enough to think I can whoop all three of these fuckers by myself. So I brace myself, man the fuck up, and whisper, "Start swingin, Eddie."

I couldn't tell ya much of what happened during the fight cuz my mind was just gone, lost in a hazy cloud of rage and hate for…well, just fuckin everything. I took all the anger I had for these sick fucks and just let it fuckin go when I started swingin.

And I was pissed as hell about a whole lotta shit…

For what this fucker did to my baby boy…

For what he _thought _he was gonna do to him…

For what he put Tommy through…

For what that did to Em…

For makin me chase his fuckin ass down and commit another god damn felony to trip his ass up…

For outing us…

For fuckin breathin…

It was a fuckin struggle cuz James ain't no little guy but when I looked over and saw Laurent holdin Eddie down while the unknown fucker kicked him in his fuckin stomach…I knew I had to get James down and fuckin quick so I could get to him.

I don't remember how I got him pinned against the car but it was all over for him at this point. Just as I was getting ready to go to Eddie I heard him yell out, "Jay, behind you!"

I ducked on instinct as I turned and just lunged at the fucker. This mother fucker was not easy to take down. Before I could even get more than a few good hits in, I was on my fuckin back just fightin back with every fuckin thing I had.

At least the good thing was, I wasn't feelin no pain.

I saw Edward kick a car door on Laurent's legs and I was so fuckin relieved that he was able to put the fucker down. Thank God I taught him how to fight when I did.

He was holdin his ribs and I was almost positive they were broken cuz he was struggling to breathe. And I was scared when I saw him struggle to his feet and start to come over for me.

Thankfully, he musta knew that he wasn't in no shape to fight anymore cuz I watched him pull out his belt and wrap it in his hands before he wrapped it around the fucker's neck.

This pulled him back enough that I was finally able to get the upper hand so I just started knockin the fucker's teeth down his god damn throat. I watched Edward finally collapse to the ground, takin the mother fucker with him…but I couldn't stop myself from still hittin him just to make sure he was down for fuckin good.

I didn't register the red and blue lights or the sirens when I was thrown face down on the ground…but when I felt that god damn steel around my wrist, I fuckin knew then.

When the fuckin pigs yanked me up to my feet, I started feelin the god damn pain then. My whole fuckin body hurt but nothing was broken. Then these assholes fuckin slam me down on the hood of the fuckin pig mobile and kick my legs apart.

I wanted to scream and cuss these mother fuckers out…but one look at Edward who was watchin the whole damn thing made me keep my fuckin mouth shut.

When I looked into his pretty green eyes and saw tears streaming down his beautiful face that was all fuckin bloody and bruised…I wanted to fuckin cry. But I held that in too.

Then the fuckers dragged my ass back to the backseat and threw me in the fuckin car, slamming the door shut. Edward looked horrified and I kept silently praying that a damn ambulance would get here soon cuz he was hurtin a whole hell of a lot.

His eyes were staring into mine as I did the only thing I could do. I mouthed, "I'm sorry."

I was sorry for dragging him into this shit. I was sorry for talking to Brady at that fuckin Halloween party and making him jealous. I was sorry that nothing in my grand fuckin plan had went the way I wanted. I was sorry for ever getting him hurt. But most of all, I was sorry cuz I knew things were about to get a whole lot worse and he had no fuckin clue.

I watched as he collapsed again and his eyes shut. I couldn't stop myself as I kicked the seat in front of me and screamed at the top of my god damn lungs for them to get a fuckin ambulance here right fuckin now.

I let out a breath when I saw two pull up. By this time, Alice and Jane were being cuffed along with Victoria. The hospital fuckers were around Edward and I couldn't see anything no matter how I tried to move.

There were some around Laurent too and I watched him being put on a stretcher. I smiled just a little cuz I could see that both of his legs were broke.

James and the other asshole were in cuffs now too. I saw Em, Rose, Brady, Bella, and Jake come running out of someone's car. Rosalie snatched up Gracie in her arms and Jane was crying hysterically for her baby.

Two cops got in the front seat of the car and said, "We're taking you to the station to get this all sorted out."

I didn't really give a fuck what they were saying cuz all I saw was Edward being lifted onto a stretcher. Emmett and Brady were by his side.

The car started and we took off down the road. I turned and watched through the back window and saw Carlisle's car pull up right as we rounded the corner.

The next few hours were kinda a blur. They finally uncuffed me and stuck me in some fuckin interrogation room. My mind was racing cuz I had no clue if Edward was okay and every time I asked, they just told me to shut the fuck up. In all fairness, I guess they didn't like the tone I used but I was raised to believe that you only gave respect if you got it…and these fuckers were treating me like I was a god damn criminal. And this time, I really didn't do shit but defend myself. Irony is a bitch sometimes.

From the little window on the door, I could see Jane and Alice being brought in. Shortly after, I saw James and the unknown fuck.

Finally, two cops came in and sat down. A big guy with the name of Jones spoke first, "We need to ask you some questions, son. Would you like anything before we begin?"

I was already agitated as fuckin hell, "First…I ain't your fuckin son. Second, I'm a fuckin minor. Ain't it against some kind of fuckin law to keep me in here all god damn night cuz I don't know but I'd sure as hell like a fuckin lawyer to ask…"

The other officer named Payne (again, the fuckin irony wasn't lost on me), slammed his hand down on the table, "Look here you little son of a bitch, your little attitude is going to stop right now or I _will _arrest you. You're going to answer our questions and you're going to cooperate if you know what's good for you. I've got your record here, Whitlock…you piss me off one more time, and you will not be released from this place any time soon. Got it?"

_Control yourself, Jasper…fuckin asshole…_

I took a deep breath and clenched my jaw, "What do you want to know?"

Jones spoke again, "From what we can tell, you and your friends were acting in self defense. The cars were blocking you in…you're all minors, apart from Jane. It has come to our attention that James and his crew were involved in some pretty heavy drug running and child pornography ventures…so my question is…how are you involved? Why did they come after you?"

I shrugged, "Fuck if I know."

Payne rolled his eyes, "Whitlock, we know about the incident at school. James acquired a picture of you and your boyfriend…spread it around campus. Interestingly enough, a video of James, Laurent, and an unknown 14 year old male were passed around in the same fashion just a few days later. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Again I shrugged, "Nope."

Jones sighed, "Jasper, did you break into Laurent's house to attain this video?"

_Mother fuck…_

"Look, Jones…are you gonna charge me with something cuz if you are…I'd like a lawyer. I don't know why they came after us and frankly, I don't give a fuck. I just wanna get the fuck outta here and go home. You ain't got shit on me and you know it. If you're gonna keep me much longer, I'd really like a fuckin cigarette…"

Payne laughed, "Yeah, Whitlock…you're underage…"

Then I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, Payne…I _am _underage so why am I here without a parent or guardian present, being interrogated by a couple of pricks who are reaching for fuckin straws just tryin to get something on me cuz you seen my record? I mean, fuck…you got the bad guys…what the fuck do you want from me?"

Payne hit the table again, "We want the fucking truth about what happened! We want to know why a fucking baby was involved! We want to know how you and your friends are involved! You're making this a whole lot harder on yourself, you little asshole!"

Jones sighed again and handed me a cigarette. I smiled as I took it and lit it up, "Thanks, man. You wanna tell Yosemite Sam here that you catch a lot more bees with honey than vinegar? Either his bad cop routine is pretty fuckin lame…" I sneered at Payne now as I took a drag from the cigarette, "…or I don't scare that fuckin easily. Either way, get me a fuckin lawyer or let me go."

Just then a woman popped her head in, "Officer Jones? I have the information you requested…"

They excused themselves and again, I fuckin sat there. At least this time I had a cigarette. I was really only worried about Edward at this point. These fuckers didn't have shit on me that would stick so I knew I'd be released soon.

Eventually, Jones came back in and sat down. He handed me his cigarette pack and I took two, sliding one behind my ear, just in case I was here for awhile longer.

He sighed, "Jasper, who have you been staying with?"

Now I was a little scared, "Um…Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his family."

He handed me a cup of coffee now and I was internally freakin out.

"Dr. Cullen is not your legal guardian. We've just found your mother, Linda."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, how is she? I haven't heard from her since she fuckin left me with Carlisle."

He sighed, "She's currently in jail in Indiana, awaiting sentencing for a possession charge."

I shook my head and snickered, "Serves the bitch right."

He folded his arms across his chest, "What about your father?"

I took a drag from my cigarette and played with the coffee cop in my hand, "Um…haven't seen him in over three years."

"Jasper? The Cullen's are not your legal guardians. Your father is. We've contacted him and he was unaware that you were no longer with your mother…"

I was starting to get fuckin pissed again as my shoulders started shaking, "What the fuck are you telling me, Jones?"

He spoke softly and it pissed me off even more, "Your father will be here in two days. We will release you to his custody…"

I jumped now, throwing the chair behind me as I screamed, "What the fuck?! No! I ain't goin nowhere with that bastard! I wanna go home!"

He jumped to his feet now and I felt like a caged fuckin animal as I looked at the door and wondered how far I'd get before they fuckin tackled me again.

"Look! We cannot release you to anyone but a parent or legal guardian! Your dad wants you to live with him so that's where you're going! Now if you calm down, I will allow you to speak with Carlisle for a moment but if you don't, you won't see him at all! The choice is yours!"

My whole fuckin world was crashing around me. Out of all the fucked up shit that has happened to me, this has gotta be the worst. Give me a fuckin taste of Heaven before throwin me back in Hell…the story of my fucked up life.

I took a deep breath as I tried to hold back the tears and the anger. I swallowed it all down before whispering, "Is Carlisle here?"

The officer nodded, "He's been here awhile. We've explained the situation to him. He would like to see you before we move you."

I nodded, "Yeah."

He left and I picked up the chair and sat back down. What the fuck was I gonna do now? They were taking me away. Away from Edward. Away from Carlisle and Esme. Away from Em and my friends. Away from the only happiness I had ever fuckin known.

I took another breath so I could try to stay strong cuz my whole body was shaking and I was on the edge of losing it.

The officer showed him in and told us we had five minutes. I looked down at the table, afraid to look at him for fear that it would fuckin break me.

He whispered, "Son?"

My eyes started to fill and I had to see him. I looked up and saw his soft hazel eyes, red and puffy with tears that he had obviously been crying. He had been crying for me cuz he loved me. Son of a bitch…

The floodgates broke and I jumped up as he rushed to me and pulled me into a tight hug. I couldn't stop the sobs as I just fuckin begged him, "Please…Carlisle…don't let them take me away. I swear I'll be good from now on…I won't be bad no more…I won't get in no more trouble…please…I don't wanna go away…I'm so fuckin sorry…just explain it to them…fix it…please…I fucked up…please fix it…"

He was brushing his fingers through my hair and whispering, "Shhh…calm down, son…"

I just held on tighter as I sobbed like a god damn baby.

Eventually, I got my sobs under control pulled away from his tight embrace. He whispered, "Sit down, son."

I nodded and sat. He sat across from me and held his hands out on top of the table for me to take.

"Jasper…I'm going to get a lawyer first thing in the morning and fight to bring you back home, where you belong. The thing is…" he sighed and pulled a hand away to brush through his ash blonde hair, "…your biological father wants full custody of you and I…I just don't know if there's going to be much I can do."

I knew I had to be strong. This whole thing was my fault anyway and I knew I deserved this. I just hated that I was hurting the people I loved in the process.

I whispered through shaky breaths as I tried to hold back the tears, "Edward? Is he…is he okay?"

Carlisle nodded and spoke quietly as he gripped my hands a little tighter, "He will be fine, son. He has a few broken ribs and a slight concussion but he'll be fine. Esme is with him now."

My voice broke as I looked down at the table and whispered, "This is gonna kill him, Carlisle…"

He squeezed my hands again, "Esme and I will take care of him, son. What I need for you to do is to take care of yourself. You're the strongest boy I have ever known, Jasper…and I'm afraid that your strength is being tested again. Will you promise me something, son?"

I felt a few more tears fall down my cheeks as I whispered, "Anything."

This time his voice broke, "Please, don't do anything that's going to get you in more trouble. Please take care of yourself. And please…call us as soon as you can…let us know where you are and if you're okay. Let me know if you need anything. It doesn't matter to me where you are, Jasper…you will always be my son and I will always be here for you."

I looked up at him as we both had tears running down our faces trying to control our sobs. Carlisle looked his age for the first time. I could see the worry and pain in his eyes and I hated myself for causing it. I didn't deserve his love…anyone's love. I always ended up fucking things up. I was stupid for thinking that I could have somebody as good as them…as Edward. I was a Whitlock…my mother and father's son, through and through. That would never change.

But for him…for Esme…and for Edward…I would try to keep my promise, though I knew in the back of my mind that I would fall apart, "I promise, Carlisle. Does Edward know yet?"

He shook his head, "No…I haven't talked to him or Esme yet. I've been here for three hours fighting with the cops outside…assholes."

I laughed a little through my tears and sniffled, "Will you tell Edward how sorry I am? Will you tell him how much I love him?"

He nodded, "I will but I'm sure he knows."

The door opened and a woman walked in, "I'm sorry but it's time to go, Dr. Cullen."

He nodded curtly and stood. I stood with him and he pulled me into another tight hug, "Remember everything that you've learned, son. Don't ever forget how special and wonderful you are. I love you, son."

I gripped his shirt and whispered through broken sobs, "I won't, Carlisle…I'm sorry. I love you too."

The woman huffed and Carlisle pulled away and gave me a half hearted smile to which I returned. As he walked out, I called to him, "Hey Carlisle? Tell him that I'll never stop, okay? Tell him I meant it when I said forever."

He nodded as he started to choke up again, "I will, son. Take care of yourself."

I nodded and he was gone.

I was numb. I had to be. There was no way I could get through this, feeling the kinda pain I was feeling. I just felt…empty. I tried to fool myself into thinking that the mean, crazy son of a bitch in me, was all an act and that the good side was the real me…who was I fuckin kidding? I am Jasper fuckin Whitlock…white trash, good for nothing, mean ass mother fucker who don't give a fuck about anyone or anything…or at least I better get back into the act again real fuckin quick if I was gonna survive this shit.

The next two days were…well, they were pretty fuckin typical for my bullshit life. I stayed in the fuckin guardian home…slept on a cold, hard twin bed…and pretty much just stayed there as I waited for my sperm donor to drag me off to Hell with him. There were a lot of times I got real pissed and wanted to fight any and everyone around me but quite frankly…I just didn't have the fight in me anymore. And I knew that was gonna be a fuckin problem cuz life at the Whitlock house was kill or be killed. Fuck my life.

The bitch ass caseworker brought me over a duffle bag of clothes that I didn't even bother going through. I was sittin on the windowsill in the cruddy old house smoking a cigarette when the bitch walked in, "Jasper? Your father is here to pick you up."

I closed my eyes and finished my cigarette before I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs. I saw his dirty blonde crew cut and groaned internally. Or it must've been externally cuz he turned and looked at me. He was just as I remembered…about 6'2, a big beer gut but the rest of him was rock solid, ice blue eyes that showed nothing but contempt for everything around him.

He stood and sighed before folding his arms across his chest, "You need a haircut…you look like a god damn fag."

I just closed my eyes and shook my head before grabbing my bag and sighing, "Which way is the fuckin truck?"

I ain't cutting my fuckin hair…Edward likes it and dear old dad can just fuck off…

I followed him outside as he muttered, "Looks like that fuckin mouth of yours ain't got no better…you're still a little smart mouthed asshole…"

I rolled my eyes, "What can I say, pop? You and mama taught me well."

We walked to his decrepit old truck and I hopped in. Once he was in, he turned to me, "I let that shit slide, boy, cuz of where we are. You will show me respect or I will make you show me respect, do you fuckin understand me?"

I pulled out a cigarette and just gave in…this was gonna be a long fuckin drive back to Texas, "Yes, sir."

It took five fuckin days to get back there. As we pulled up to the same old small fucked up house I remembered from my childhood nightmares, I cringed.

Me and Sergeant Dickhead hadn't talked much on the way back…by choice on both our ends.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for my new life. By this point, I was teetering back and forth between uncontrollable anger and just…nothingness.

We walked in and the house was a fuckin wreck…dirty dishes piled up, hadn't been cleaned in God knows how long, the only decorations were empty beer and alcohol bottles that littered the broken down kitchen table. Just like I remembered…I'm fuckin home…god damn it.

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, "I need to use the phone."

He grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed me one, "Don't got one."

I looked at him and just shook my fuckin head, "You ain't got a fuckin phone?"

He took a long pull of his beer and belched, "Nope. Your aunt Barb's got one. She still lives two blocks over. But it ain't got long distance on it so if you're planning on callin back to that fuckin hellhole we just left…you're shit outta luck."

I groaned and ran my hand over my face, "Just fuckin great…"

I finished my beer in one long gulp and threw it in the trash can that was already overflowing, "I'm gonna take a shower."

I went into the bathroom and took it in…the peeling wallpaper, the dirty shower curtain, and beer bottles. Nice.

I shook my head and looked in the grimy fuckin mirror. I looked like shit already. I had dark circles under my eyes cuz I hadn't been sleeping for shit since all this happened. I hadn't been able to call Edward yet and every time I thought of him, my fuckin stomach knotted and that unbearable pain made my chest feel like it was fuckin caving in.

I was so worried about him that I couldn't really register my own pain at the moment…all I could think of was his. What the fuck was he gonna do? He'd been doin so well and I shuddered as I thought about what he might do when he found out I wasn't coming back home.

_I gotta get back…I gotta get a fuckin car…first chance I get, I'm fuckin runnin…_

I sighed and threw my bag on the sink. I unzipped it and pulled out some boxers, a pair of old faded jeans, and a wife beater. It was hot as shit here and most of my clothes were suited for cooler weather. But for the first time in a long time…I didn't give a fuck how I looked. I felt like shit…might as well look like it too.

Then I saw it at the bottom of the bag…my picture of me, Edward, Carlisle and Esme in the frame that said 'Family.'

My eyes started to well up again and I sniffed as I ran my thumb over Edward's picture. I closed my eyes as a few silent tears fell and I just thought back…

_I smiled at my beautiful boy and with a cocky smirk, I whispered, "You want me?"_

_He nods and that sexy crooked grin graces his face, "More than anything."_

_I cock my head and the smirk has faded, "You need me?"_

_Cuz I need you…_

_He smiles softly as his arms go to either side of me and begins lying me back on the ground as he whispers, "More than air."_

_I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked into those dark green eyes…they always got a little darker when he was worked up, "You love me?"_

_He pressed his soft red lips to mine and simply whispered, "Yes." _

_I wrapped my fingers in that silky auburn hair and get lost in this feeling. The feeling of being in love and being loved back._

_The kiss was getting pretty deep when I heard, "Jesus, Edward…you're attacking the boy again? Do open doors mean nothing to you?"_

I pulled myself from my memory with a soft chuckle through hot tears. I wiped my eyes and put the picture back in my bag carefully before jumping in the shower. Once I was in there, I just let it all go and cried again like a fuckin baby. I was never gonna make it without him…

Once I was cried out, the water was cold so I got out of the shower and dressed. I walked into the hallway and to the extra bedroom. I just shook my head as I saw a god damn milk crate and a fuckin futon.

_White trash enough for ya, Jay? Fuck…at least it's not a mattress on the floor…_

I sat down on the dirty old futon and pulled on my socks and shoes. It was Saturday and I still had to figure out some way to get to a fuckin phone. I was broke as fuck so I couldn't buy one. Fuck my god damn life.

I pulled myself up and went back into the kitchen…it took me like five steps to get there in this fuckin tissue box house. I opened the fridge and couldn't even manage to roll my eyes as I saw a bottle of hot sauce, two cases of beer, and a bottle of ketchup.

I pulled out another beer and popped the top off. I threw my head back and took a good, long pull when there was a knock at the door. My fuckin worthless father was already asleep on the couch so I went over and opened it.

And why wasn't I surprised?

"Jasper fuckin Whitlock! Didn't think I'd see ya back here any time soon!"

I groaned internally for real this time as I held out my fist and bumped the mother fucker's hand, "I didn't think I'd be back here either…"

My cousin Jeremiah smiled at me. He looked a lot like me, much to my dismay, although he was four years older than me, now 19. He was about 6'2, lean but muscular, blond wavy hair that was just a little grown out on top.

He laughed, "So, cuz…I figured you'd be itchin to get the fuck outta here by now. And just cuz I'm a sweet mother fucker…I brought ya a home comin gift!"

I smirked, "Oh yeah?"

He smiled as he pulled out a big fat blunt, "Yup…even though ya broke my leg, ya little fucker…I'm gonna get ya high anyway."

_Sorry, Carlisle…but I just gotta get fucked up if I'm gonna be here…_

I laughed, "Dude, that was like, seven years ago…let it go, man…"

He laughed as he pulled out his lighter and plopped down on the front porch steps, "I let it go…I let it go…fuck, I deserved it but ya gotta understand, cuz…five bucks a day to whoop your ass is a lot of money to a twelve year old ghetto fucker like me."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah…well, just so ya know…I ain't a kid no more."

He rolled his eyes now and laughed, "Dude! Shut the fuck up and go grab me a beer!"

I smiled, "Only cuz ya asked me so nicely…"

I walked in and grabbed two more beers, quickly finishing the one I had and tossing it in the trash.

I walked back out and handed him a beer as I sat down next to him. He handed me the blunt, "You do the honors, cuz."

I took his lighter and lit it up. The aroma of the beer and pot was strangely comforting to me. I took a few hits and passed it off.

We sat there and bullshitted awhile and by the time the blunt was done and two more beers were downed, I was feeling pretty fuckin twisted.

The good thing about way too many drugs and way too much alcohol…it managed to numb the ache in my chest and cloud my mind to where I could get through a day without crying like a fuckin pussy.

We left the house and walked over to his. He was rattlin on about a whole bunch of nothing and I pretended to listen. When I walked in my aunt Barb's house, the smell of barbecued catfish hit me and even though that shit smelled amazing…I had no fuckin appetite.

She came out from the kitchen, smiling as she opened her arms up, "Well, hell! Look what the cat dragged in!" She threw her arms around me and I feigned interest.

"Hey Barb. How ya been?"

She went on for ten minutes about her back pain and blinding headaches and I groaned…

_Why the fuck did I ask her how she was?_

Jeremiah went to the fridge and grabbed two more beers, bringing me one which I immediately started downing.

Just then, my younger cousin Suzie came running in the kitchen, grabbing Jeremiah's beer and taking a big swig before he snatched it back. I figured she was about 14 now. She was dressed like a little harlot in a pair of cutoff jean shorts up to her ass and a bikini top.

She laughed, "Mama, I'm goin out for awhile…"

Aunt Barb hollered as she battered the catfish, "You really think you're leaving the house like that? You look like a god damn whore!"

Suzie just rolled her eyes and laughed, "Dolly said it best mama…it cost a lot to look this cheap. Don't wait up!"

And then she was gone.

Barb just rolled her eyes and muttered, "Fuckin girl's gonna get knocked up 'fore she's sixteen and I'm gonna be stuck raising another god damn baby…"

Jeremiah sighed, "C'mon, man…let's go smoke again."

I nodded but didn't say shit. Honestly, I hadn't been around my dad's side of the family since I was 11 and my mind was all over the fuckin place right now. I just wanted to call Edward.

The night drug on in a haze of pot smoke and alcohol. By the time Jeremiah passed out, I had curled up on his floor with the pillow he threw me. The house was quiet now but I could hear and feel the warm wind blowing outside through the open window.

Alone now with only my thoughts, the image of my beautiful bronze haired boy haunted my mind. I wondered what he was doing right now. I wondered if he was okay. My stomach churned as images fluttered through my mind of him having another panic attack…cutting himself again…seeing those fuckin demons laughing at him…or maybe even something worse.

I promised that I would never leave him…that I'd always be by his side. I lied.

I wondered if he was ever gonna be able to forgive me for this. Would he hate me for leaving? Would he know how much I loved him and that I would come back to him the first chance I got? Would he still keep loving me even if I wasn't around?

What if he found someone else?

I had to push those thoughts from my mind cuz the thought of my baby boy broken or with another guy, caused those traitor fuckin tears to come back to my burnin eyes again.

I buried my face in the pillow as the sobs broke through. I couldn't let nobody hear me. They would think I was weak and that ain't looked on kindly in my family.

I gripped the pillow as I shook and cried. I was beginning to sober up and I couldn't fuckin take it. Being sober made the pain much too real. I whispered his name and told him sorry I was for fuckin everything up. I told him how much I loved him and how I would spend the rest of my life trying to find my way back to him.

Our whole lives passed in front of my closed eyes as I thought back to the first time I ever saw him…I thought he was kinda adorable, even back then. But after our first kiss…I was fuckin done for. I liked the way his lips felt…the way he tasted…the goose bumps that covered his arms and neck cuz of me…I liked it all.

Who woulda thought that one little kiss could change my life so fuckin much?

I wanted Edward. I wanted to feel his warm cheek resting against my chest…his soft bronze hair between my fingers…his strong body curled into mine as he slept. How the hell was I gonna survive this?

I finally passed out and dreamt of him all night long.

In the morning, I had to be ready to act again.

I awoke to the familiar smell of pot. I cracked my eyes open and Jeremiah was blowing smoke my way, "Wake and bake, cuz."

I lifted my stiff body from the floor and took the joint. After copping a morning buzz, I went to my dad's to get cleaned up. He was gone when I got there so I was pretty happy about that.

I met up with Jeremiah later and we ended up at my other cousin's house, Caleb and Ethan. They were 18 and 17, and I'd be goin to school with Ethan. Caleb dropped out last year. We were all sitting on the front porch, throwin back a few beers when I asked about Brandon, the other cousin that used to whoop my ass.

Caleb sighed, "Shit, man…he's doing a 5 year bid for stealing cars. He's looking to get out in another three and a half years."

I took a pull from my beer and sighed, "That's fucked up."

My mind was on Edward again while they kept shooting the shit and getting fucked up. I need a fuckin phone and I need a fuckin car so I can get back home. I only had about two months until I turned 16 so I needed to get my shit together so when I got my license, I could skip the fuck outta here.

"I need a job," I tossed my empty bottle in the trash and Ethan handed me another. I was already drunk as a skunk but took it anyway cuz I needed to be numb.

Caleb looked over at me with a raised eyebrow, "You need to make some money?"

I nodded and he smiled that deviant smile that I knew all too well, "Well, ya know how to crack up a car?"

I sighed as I looked down at the bottle in my hand, "Yeah…but, I was really wantin something legit, ya know?"

There was just no way I could do something that risky when getting back to Edward was at stake.

Jeremiah shook his head, "Leave him alone, man…he's too young to be getting into that shit…fuck, Brandon already lost five years from the shit. Ya know anything about cars, Jay? I mean, like, changing oil and shit?"

I nodded and took a draw from my beer. He smiled, "Tomorrow, after ya get done with school, swing by and I'll take ya over to Matt's garage. He's a buddy of mine, his dad owns an auto shop…I'll see if I can pull a favor and get ya some work."

I smiled back, truly fuckin grateful to my douche bag cousin, "Alright, thanks man."

He shrugged, "No problem, cuz."

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. I got fucked up from sunrise to sundown and usually ended up passing out on aunt Barb's couch or the floor in Jeremiah's room.

I was the quiet, brooding one now in this little circle of fucked up cousins that I had. My thoughts were _always _on Edward. The weekends were spent partying at someone's house and getting fucked up. They almost always ended in a fight that I was more than glad to jump into. I needed some way to vent my anger and beating the shit of somebody…_anybody_…helped.

The bad thing was, they were always pushing pussy my way and I was runnin out of excuses to pass it up. I knew I couldn't come out to my family…no fuckin way. And there wasn't a chance in Hell that I'd ever cheat on Edward. It didn't matter how far away he was or that we hadn't talked yet…he was still mine and I was his…I just hoped he felt the same way.

I had a little over a month left of school. That had been another fuckin nightmare. I was branded as a fuck up before I even started just cuz of my name and the fact that my cousins had all went there. I had to take a Sprite bottle filled with vodka just to get through the day. Grades didn't mean shit to me anymore. I don't know why I ever thought I had a chance of leaving this fucked up life behind anyway.

The only good thing was that I was able to email Edward from school. I emailed him everyday in my computer lab class but he never sent me anything back. This only caused me to worry even more and get even more fucked up just so I could try to fuckin breathe all damn day long.

Bad thoughts ran through my mind about him. I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting. He obviously hadn't been on the computer since I left and that was odd for Edward cuz he spent a lot of time on it.

Jeremiah had helped me land a job at his buddy's garage. The pay was shitty but it was under the table so that was cool. I worked a couple days through the week and Saturday during the day. It had been a month since I had talked to Edward so on Friday night, when I got my money, I went and bought a prepaid phone.

My dickhead sperm donor wasn't at home and I was grateful as I grabbed a beer and sat on the front porch. It was already dark outside and the dry heat was driving me crazy.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down before I dialed his number. As it rang, my heart was racing, waiting for his sexy velvet voice to answer…but I got his voicemail.

I sighed, frustrated as hell and hung up without leaving a message. I managed to wait ten minutes before trying again with the same outcome. I thought about callin the house or Em but I couldn't remember the fuckin numbers…I had everything on speed dial on my old phone.

My breathing hitched as I remembered the video I had taken on my old phone. I had stuck my phone in my backpack after school and had left it in Jane's car when the fight happened. I hope no one got a hold of it but I did lock the video so no one could see it.

Jeremiah came walkin down the sidewalk smoking a cigarette, "Dude?! Pool hall…Donnie's runnin that shit tonight so we can smoke and drink there. C'mon, ya moody mother fucker…get your ass up!"

I sighed and shoved my phone in my pocket, praying that Edward would see the number and call me back. We took off walkin to the pool hall that was a few blocks over. It was a fuckin divey little shit hole with a few pool tables and dart boards. Normally, drinking and smoking wasn't allowed in it, but night's that his buddy Donnie was in charge, he'd let us get twisted all night long.

Everyone was there when we got there. All my cousins and a bunch of their friends were playin pool, listenin to music, and getting fucked up. After a couple of blunts and a few more beers, I was at the pool table hustling mother fuckers who thought they could beat me. I made another hundred bucks so that was cool.

I kept pullin out my phone just to make sure I hadn't missed a call but nothing yet. A few of the local tramps were tryin to hang all over me but after a few rude comments, they were convinced that I was an asshole and let the shit go.

At around midnight, everybody was three sheets to the wind and high as fuck. Donnie pulled out an old guitar and started playing around with it. I think he was tryin to impress the chicks but he couldn't play for shit. Eventually, we were all saved when Mary laughed at him and told him to not quit his day job.

He mumbled something about getting rid of the fuckin thing and I jumped, "Ya wanna sell it, man? I'll give ya $50 bucks for it right now."

He shrugged, "Sure, Jay. Hope you have better luck with it than me."

I gave him the money and he gave me the guitar.

I hadn't played since Forks and my guitars were left behind so I was actually pretty happy to have another one now. I loved playing music…it helped calm me down. So, I excused myself to go get some fresh air and I stepped out through the back door.

I sat on the steps and tuned it first. It was dark as hell out here and the warm air felt good. It was quiet out here too…away from the drunk fucks in the pool hall and this place was set back away from the road or any fucking thing, really, so the peace and quiet was nice.

Once I had the guitar tuned, I took a drink of my beer and threw my cigarette down. I closed my eyes and started playin.

I sang 'Nothingman'softly as visions of Edward played behind my closed lids like old home movies…

_Once divided...nothing left to subtract..._

_Some words when spoken...can't be taken back..._

_Walks on his own...with thoughts he can't help thinking..._

_Future's above...but in the past he's slow and sinking..._

_Caught a bolt 'a lightnin'...cursed the day he let it go..._

_Nothingman... Nothingman... _

_Isn't it something?_

_Nothingman..._

By the end of the song, I was completely lost to it and wailing out the last few lines…

_Burn...burn...burn…_

_Nothingman... Nothingman... _

_Isn't it something?_

_Nothingman..._

_Nothingman... Nothingman... _

_Coulda' been something..._

_Nothingman...Oh...ohh...ohh... _

"Well, holy shit, son! You can actually play!"

My eyes flashed open, brought out of my moment by Jeremiah standing there laughing.

I smirked, "I'm a talented mother fucker…you should know this, man."

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah…yeah…so hey, if you're interested, I know another way ya might be able to make some money…ya know, legit and all that shit."

I sat the guitar down and lit a cigarette. I exhaled, "Yeah? What's that?"

He plopped down next to me and bummed a square, "A buddy of mine plays in this band and they're lookin for a fucker who can sing and play guitar. You just might be that fucker."

I laughed, "Fuck, man…do you know every mother fucker in the whole god damn county?"

He just shrugged, "Yup…just about. So, you interested?"

Now I shrugged, "Sure. I guess. What happened to their lead singer?"

He smiled over at me, "It was Brandon. Nuff said."

I just nodded, "Yup."

We talked for a few minutes and once he was done with his cigarette, he lit up a joint. He took a few hits and passed it to me. I grabbed it and took a draw.

He exhaled and started coughing, "So…who the fuck is she? Some chick back in Washington?"

Now I started coughing, "What the fuck ya talkin bout, cuz?"

He started coughin and laughin at the same time, then in a lame ass Forrest Gump impression he drawled out, "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is."

I started laughin and just shakin my head, "You're a silly mother fucker, man."

He laughed, "So, seriously, dude…who is she? You wasn't singin like that for no reason. Ya got a girl back in Washington? Is that why ya ain't interested in none of the pussy round here?"

I sighed as that crushing pain in my chest came back full force, "Somethin like that, man."

He shook his head and sighed, "Yeah…love's a fuckin bitch, cuz."

He had just gone through a bad break up with his girl, Candace. They had been datin since they were 15 and he was pretty torn up about it. He didn't show anything to outsiders, but to me, Caleb, and Ethan…he'd let those walls down. I wish I could let mine down too but I knew that there was no way they'd except me and my life here would get a hundred times worse if I was completely on my own.

I handed him the joint and stood, "I'm gonna head home, man…"

He furrowed his brows, "Dude? It's only…" he looked at his watch and his eyes grew wide, "…fuck, it's damn near 2:30 in the mornin. Alright, cuz. See ya tomorrow."

I nodded and grabbed my guitar, "Later, cuz."

I lit up a cigarette as I walked home, eyes burning and heart aching. I pulled out my phone and tried Edward again and still got his god damn voice mail. This time I left a message, "Hey Edward…um…it's me, Jay. I'm really fuckin worried bout ya, darlin. I miss ya like crazy. I'm so fuckin sorry bout what happened. Please…_please_, call me as soon as ya get this and let me know you're okay. I love you so much, Edward…I just hope you still love me too. Sweet dreams, darlin."

I rattled out my number and hung up.

_Where the fuck is he?_

I crawled onto that stupid fuckin futon with my clothes still on and my phone in my hand as I fell asleep.

A fuckin month passed and I still hadn't heard from Edward. I was goin outta my fuckin mind. I still tried callin him every night with the same fuckin result. His phone wasn't turned off or anything so I couldn't understand why he wasn't callin me back. Was he purposely avoiding my calls? Was he mad at me? What the fuck was goin on?

My moods were getting even shittier and I was flyin off the handle even more than usual lately. Me and my dad had already been in a couple of fights cuz I stopped controlling my mouth around him. And just like I remembered, he was the strongest man I had ever fought and he usually beat my ass. At least now, I was able to get a few good hits in from time to time.

I ended up joining that band my cousin had told me about. It was three other guys, Nathan, Daniel, and Austin. We practiced usually on Saturday after I got off of work and Sundays. We played a few times a month at a bar owned by Austin's uncle and got paid about a hundred bucks each.

We were pretty fuckin good and started to get a little following. Austin's uncle, John, wouldn't let us drink at the bar but he'd let us get fucked up backstage. We played a lot of different music but most the time it was pretty hard rock. It was a big help to me to play. They let me use Brandon's guitars to play since he hand an electric and an acoustic guitar that he wasn't gonna be using anytime soon. Any free time I had was spent practicing…and getting fucked up.

It was mostly liquor and pot but recently, Nathan had been able to get pills so we threw them in the mix too. Luckily, I didn't have to buy anything but my cigarettes cuz my cousins and dad kept me supplied in pot and alcohol and Nathan was generous with his pills. I was pretty numb most of the time and I was pretty fuckin thankful for it.

I had three weeks left till I turned 16 and I was counting down the days. I didn't have near enough money for a car yet but I was saving as much as I could. I was really fuckin anxious to get back home to Edward and find out what the hell was goin on.

It was Saturday night and we were playin a show. We were sittin around backstage waitin for our set to start, just drinkin and smoking like usual.

Daniel laughed as he took a toke from the blunt, "Uh oh, Jay…here comes that lil' Kaycee bitch…the chick won't stop hangin from your nuts."

I rolled my eyes and threw back the shot of Crown. It didn't burn near as bad as it probably should've. I sighed and muttered a sarcastic, "Great."

She came up behind me and ran her hand down my spine. I shuddered and turned to face her, "What the fuck ya want, Kaycee?"

She smiled…I swear this bitch just likes me more and more the worse I treat her.

"It's my birthday, Jasper…ya know what I really want?" she stumbled into my chest and I pulled away and leaned against the wall.

"The real question is…do I fuckin care what ya want?," I smirked as I shook my head, "Nope, don't fuckin care…now run along somewhere."

She scowled but then it turned into a determined grin and I shuddered again. She leaned over and whispered, "I really wanna suck your dick, Jasper…"

This girl was tryin my fuckin patience. She was 21, well 22 now I guess…she knew I was only bout to turn 16 but she never fuckin quit tryin to get into my pants.

I shook my head as Nathan shouted, "Dude, come the fuck on…it's time."

I just walked past her as she scowled again.

Thank God it was time to play cuz I needed this shit.

We started with The Black Keyes, Hold Me In Your Arms…

I loved the guitar in this one and thought about Edward as I sang, "Well, I need you…need you by my side. Lonely evenin…eyes are open wide. Nothin you could say, could make me turn my back…"

My cloudy mind was on Edward for the next one too and I closed my eyes as I sang 'Home' by the Nine Inch Nails…

"Everything is catchin up to me…I awake…to find I'm not at all where I should be. And it feels, I'm getting to the end…And it's hard, to figure out what's real and what's pretend…"

My heart ached as I just squeezed my eyes shut and sang for Edward, "To break from what we're tied to…God knows how much I've tried to. And I am still inside you…and I am still inside you…"

Messy bronze hair and amazing emerald eyes flashed through my mind at a million miles an hour… "I escape every now and then…And to think, I find myself back here again and again…"

I thought about our first kiss again and how I ached to kiss him for so long after that…a year and a half wasted before he kissed me again. What I wouldn't give to get it back…

"I used to know who I was, until you came along, I return to the only place I've ever felt that I belong…"

My chest constricted and it was hard to get the rest of the song out, but I managed, "To break from what we're tied to…God knows how much I've tried to. And I am still inside you…and I am still inside you…"

I was emotionally drained after that god damn song but I got through the rest of the set okay. Austin dropped me off at my dad's afterwards and I went to my fuckin futon and curled up. I was still fucked up ten ways to Sunday but I pulled out my phone and decided to try one more time tonight.

It rang twice and on the third ring I heard, "Hello?"

It wasn't Edward's voice so I cleared my throat a little caught off guard, "Yeah…is Edward there?"

The boy laughed, "Is this Jasper?"

I sat up now wonderin what the hell was goin on, "Yeah, who the fuck's this?"

The boy snickered and I heard laughing in the background, "I'm a friend of Edward's. He's a little busy right now and can't come to the phone…"

I was startin to get pissed, "Busy doin what?! Put him on the god damn phone!"

More laughter as he sighed, "I hate to be the one to tell you this…I guess he figured you'd give up after he didn't answer any of your calls before but it's obvious you're not. He's in the bedroom with Tommy…they're probably sucking each other off by now."

My heart fuckin shattered and I couldn't fuckin breathe… "What? Edward wouldn't do that…"

He laughed again, "Did you really think he would wait for you? He jumped Tommy the first chance he got. You really didn't think you guys had something special did you? It was a matter of convenience for Edward…nothing more."

I squeezed my eyes shut as those fuckin tears started to spill over, "Put Edward on the god damn phone right fuckin now!"

He sighed, "Wow…you're really pretty pathetic. The boy doesn't want you anymore, Jasper. So, I think you need to quit being such a spineless pussy and accept that it's over."

I started to scream again when I heard a dial tone.

I gripped my phone and screamed out, "What the fuck!"

My mind started racing…

Who the fuck was that? Was what he said true? It couldn't be…right? Did Edward really just use me to scratch an itch he had?

No…no fuckin way…

I dialed his number again and once again, I got his fuckin voicemail. I lost it as the anger and hurt in me boiled over, "Edward! What the fuck! It's been two god damn months! You really couldn't wait two god damn months for me?! You fuckin prick! Ya know what? Fuck you! Ya think you're the only one who can get some one else?! Well, fuck off, cuz I can get any fuckin body I want! And I'm gonna fuckin start tonight!"

The tears were thick now as the anguish pushed down the anger and I could barely breathe when my voice cracked with sobs, "I really fuckin loved you, Edward…I thought you loved me too. I don't understand…I guess I shoulda known that you'd finally figure out that I wasn't good enough for you. I won't call you no more…just…be safe, Edward."

I hung up the phone and buried my face in my hands. Images of Tommy and Edward now raced through my mind and a minute later I was heaving in the fuckin toilet.

I was a fuckin mess. Edward didn't want me anymore…he didn't love me. Believe it or not, I had been tryin real fuckin hard to be good since I got here…but no more. What was the fuckin point anyway? My life, as I once knew it, was fuckin over.

I picked myself up off the floor and walked into the kitchen. I pulled out a bottle of Jack from under the counter and just started taking big swigs. My whole body was shaking and before I could control myself, I had thrown my phone against the fuckin wall and watched it shatter.

I hopped up on the kitchen counter and continued drinkin until I was so fucked up I couldn't see straight. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.

I looked around at my dad's trashy tissue box house and sighed, "Welcome home, Jasper."


	25. Chapter 25

**A big thanks to OnTheTurningAway for some of the song recs…**

**So, I know a lot of you were upset with the last chapter, understandably so…I even lost a few readers…but in all fairness, I warned at the beginning that this was going to be gritty. I am very overwhelmed by the amount of reviews I've received, I've even pulled a few lurkers out to review. The majority of them are positive. I know that many of you don't like the turn the story has taken, but I won't apologize for it. Writing is therapeutic for me. I do it because I enjoy it…the reviews are a big bonus, but not the reason why I write. That being said, I do appreciate so much the reviews that have been left. It seems my boys have really gotten to some of you, as much as they have gotten to me. For that, I am very thankful because I think that's the best compliment a writer can get…when you're affected by the characters as if they were real and a part of your life. So, thanks again!**

**Sleeping Sickness by City and Colour, Weapon by Matthew Good, Insane by Damien Rice, Perfect Blue Buildings by Counting Crows, Hello I'm In Delaware by City and Colour, True Love Way by Kings of Leon**

**Edward POV**

_The warm sun was bathing down upon my face as I leaned against the old oak tree. The forest was lush and green, the blue sky glistened above as I closed my eyes and breathed deeply…the lovely scent of honey washed through me and I couldn't help the smile that graced my lips._

_Warm, pouty lips pressed gently against my neck and I sighed a content…mmm…_

_The soft chuckle made me open my eyes to be met with the softest blue I had ever seen. Golden curls blew lightly in the wind and my fingers rose of their own accord to brush through the honey locks._

_Jay smiled widely and those dimples I adored caused my breathing to hitch. Barely a whisper on the breeze, I sighed, "I love you, Jasper."_

_Rough fingertips grazed my wild bronze hair lazily as the honey scent of his breath caused my senses to shut down completely and be lost to everything else, "I love you too, Edward. Always."_

_I shivered as a brisk breeze whipped through the air and he looked to the sky with a sad sigh, "I have to go…"_

_My hands wrapped around the heated flesh of his bare back and his old faded blue jeans swished as I pulled him close to me, "No…don't go…please…"_

_The sky began to darken and the air became chilly and moist. Fat, lazy raindrops began to fall. His smile had faded into a sorrowful frown, "I have to, Edward."_

_I shook my head and held on tighter, "No…you promised me forever…"_

_His face rested against my collarbone as his rough fingertips glided along my chest and settled above my heart, "Don't you hear it, Edward? They're callin for me, darlin. I have no choice."_

_I heard the faint whispers and cackles of laughter calling his name as I saw the shadows creeping in, slowly covering the bright green of the forest floor in darkness._

_He pulled away and held my face in his hands as I held his, "No, Jay. You promised you'd always be with me…"_

_Hot tears started streaming down my face as he brushed them away. Lightening cracked in the midnight sky and I shivered once again as he leaned into me and gently brushed his lips against mine, "Just because I won't be sitting next to you, doesn't mean I won't be with you, Edward. I'm __**always **__with you, remember that, darlin."_

_My body wracked with sobs as he pulled away and took off running towards the voices calling his name. I watched as two beautiful white wings rose up from his back as he ran gracefully away from me._

_I whispered, "No…don't leave me, my angel…"_

_And then I was running after him, focused on nothing but those wings every time the lightening lit up the sky as I made my way through the dark forest. The rain was beating down hard against the forest floor now and it stung as it hit me like a million little cuts all over my body._

_It was so dark and the more I ran, the louder the whispers and laughter became. The lightening cracked once again and I saw his beautiful sad face in the light. He mouthed, "I'm sorry."_

_And then the lightening was over and everything was dark once again. I looked desperately for him in the darkness. _

_I ran frantically searching for a glimmer but…he was gone._

_I fell to my knees in the thick mud as sobs shook my body. I buried my face in hands and whispered, "He's gone…he's gone…"_

My eyes opened as I gasped for air. Quickly two arms were wrapped around me and I was held tightly to my mother's chest. The tears were hot and thick as I sobbed against her, both hands holding onto my phone for dear life just in case he called. She whispered, "Shh, son…everything's going to be okay…"

I shook my head and held on tighter, "He's gone, mom…it'll never be okay."

She held me as I sobbed and a few minutes later, my dad was sitting on my bed next to me as well. He held out his hand, "Here, son. Take these to help you sleep."

I pulled from my mom and wiped my eyes, "No! I don't want them! Sleep is not what I need!"

Again the sobs overtook me as my father now pulled me to him. I clung to his chest like a desperate child as I begged in broken breaths, "I need _him_…please daddy…please fix it…please bring him home…I can't breathe without him…I don't want to…fix it, daddy…please."

He whispered into my hair, "I'm working on it, son. I promise you that I will do everything I can."

My mother and father held me for quite awhile until I couldn't cry any longer. My sore bruised body ached and my head was screaming at me.

It had been three days since I lost him. Three days of haunting, teasing nightmares…endless cries of agony and gasping for air…demons laughing and taunting me as they relished in their victory. They had told me they were coming after him long ago…and they had won.

Perhaps the most difficult thing for me was the realization that my demons, were not real. But Jasper's demons…they were very real, made of flesh and bone and hidden under the guise of family.

I ached for him, for his pain. I would do anything to take it from him and make it my own. I couldn't even begin to imagine the Hell he was going through right now. I imagined him and his father driving to Texas while his father berated him and brought to the surface all of those insecurities and false ideas of who he was and what he was destined to be.

Jasper was the toughest boy I had ever known…but even he would wear down eventually. You can only be told you're stupid and worthless so much until you believe those things to be true and act accordingly. I imagined him standing there with his family…a beer in one hand, a joint in the other…thinking to himself that there was no point in fighting it anymore, thinking that he _was _and always would be trash.

All of the steps he had taken could so easily be washed away by the steady stream of negativity feeding to his own insecurities.

I could feel the despair that surrounded him and I didn't know if I could with stand the pain. Broken ribs were meaningless compared to my broken heart.

My mother left for a moment, returning with a cup of tea. I pulled myself together as much as possible and pulled away from my father's embrace, "Have you spoken to the lawyer today? The caseworker?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "I have. The lawyer…well, he pretty much said that there is nothing we can do legally. The caseworker refuses to tell me anything. I've spoken to Charlie, Bella's dad…but he's just the local sheriff and the case was taken over by the state. He's trying to find some information on where he went but because Jasper is a minor, he's not having too much luck. I'm meeting with a private investigator next week. It was the soonest he could see me. Hopefully, Jasper will contact us before then. We'll figure something out, son…it's just going to take a little time."

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as a few more tears fell. This was my first night back home from the hospital. I completely lost it in there when my father told me what happened. They had to sedate me. My father doesn't know…but I heard him speaking with the doctor out in the hallway. They had wanted to keep me there for psychiatric evaluation but he refused…always standing up for me.

I only remember bits and pieces from the last few days…

Screaming…lots of screaming…even more crying…

Pulling out my IV's and jumping from the bed to try and make it out the door…

More screaming as guards held me tight…but I continued to fight with them…

My mother crying hysterically…my father burying his head in his hands as sobs wracked his body…

Shadows whipping across the room…

Lots of laughter and whispers…

The room spinning and the lights becoming hazy…

The smell of bleach and blood and mud causing me to gasp uncontrollably…

The sharp stick of the needle in my hip and the familiar burn that raced through my body…

Darkness…

I'm pulled from my memories as my mother yawns and whispers, "Scoot over, baby."

I do and she crawls in next to me. Then my father stands and rounds the bed, crawling in behind her. My mother's arms hold me all night long as my father holds her. I hold onto the pillow next to me as I grip my phone until my knuckles are turning white and fight sleep all night long. Sleeping means dreaming and my dreams are too much to bear right now. I have to lose him all over again with each dream.

I lay and remember everything about him…about us. I fight hard to choke back the sobs as I reminisce…but they easily spill over…

"_Edward, everyone is fucked up…it's just that some people are better at hiding it than others."_

"_Don't worry, Eddie, things are gonna start getting a whole lot better for you. I promise."_

"_You can practice on me if you want?"_

"_I heard that Edward Cullen was the hottest boy in town…" _

"_No way man. It's still dark outside and I'm walking you home."_

"_Thanks for the pancakes, Eddie."_

"_You like the accent, huh?"_

"_So, when we're alone, I can kiss you then?"_

"_We're gonna be best friends forever, right? No matter what?"_

"_Eddie, it's okay. I feel the same way."_

"_Edward? Do you want me to stop…ya know…dating people?"_

"_Fuck it…Edward, I think I might be in love with you. How do you feel about me?"_

"_Ready to go a little faster, Eddie?" _

"_**Your**__ hand…and __**my **__hand…forever and ever, Edward…it will always be your hand in my hand. You're mine now, baby and I promise to always take good care of you."_

"_Yeah, I landed on my dick and I think I broke it."_

"_Can I taste you __**here**__, Edward?"_

"_I like pretty things, Edward."_

"_Our love and our bond is unbreakable and unstoppable. Let me stand by your side and we'll face them together."_

"_Lose the clothes, pretty boy."_

"_I love your son more than I ever thought possible. And he loves me. We're good together and I think we bring out the best in each other."_

"_Do you think we'll ever be like that some day?"_

"_Married."_

"_I dunno, man, but your cream filling is only for me."_

"_Be careful, little boy, haven't you heard that if you play with fire, you're gonna get burned?"_

"_I'm so __**fuckin **__in love with you…"_

"_But I don't wanna let you go…just touch me, baby…I need to kiss you…"_

"_Well, hey there Santa."_

"_50 years from now, Edward…we'll look back at these and we'll see everything that we've gone through or will go through to get to that point…but no matter what ever happens…I have no doubt that this book will be filled with pictures of us together…forever."_

I watched as the first rays of daylight crept in through the window. My eyes burned agonizingly but I refused to close them. I lay there for awhile with my mother holding on to me, and while I was grateful…it still wasn't like when _he _held me.

I heard my father sigh and my mother let go of me and rolled over to him. I squeezed my eyes shut now and pretended to be asleep so they would just leave me be. I couldn't handle too much interaction right now.

I felt them get up from the bed and once I heard my bedroom door shut, I opened my eyes again.

The pain that I was would feel from time to time was unbearable…but for the most part, I was numb. The physical agony only broke through for brief moments…reminding me that I was still living. Other than that, I felt like the undead. No longer breathing because my air was gone…but forced to walk among the living pretending that I was one of them. I wasn't. I was a freak…always would be. I didn't feel the need to act anymore…to hide it. When they took Jasper away from me…they took my reason for breathing…for getting out of bed…for living.

The fight in me was gone. It was in Texas now. Not that I had any idea where at in Texas…Jasper had never told me the name of the town his father lived in.

I laid in bed until nightfall. My mom and dad had come in a few times to check on me and try to get me to eat, but I had no desire. I couldn't uproot myself from the bed and eat. There was no point.

As the full white moon rose in the blackened sky, rays of light shone through the window, and I finally rolled over and faced it. I watched as shadows began creeping in and the whispers of laughter echoed in my head. I sighed, unfazed. The demons were the least of my worries anymore and without my angel, how could I even try to fight them?

If they wanted me so badly…they could have me.

I sighed again and pulled myself up from the bed. Streaks of pain reverberated through my aching body and I cringed in agony. I held onto my ribs as breathing was terribly painful…for more than one reason.

I walked to my door and stuck my head out. The house was quiet and still…but at least the whispers kept me company.

I slowly crept down the dark hallway to Jasper's room. Shakily, my hand reached for the doorknob and I closed my eyes, "Please let him in be in here…"

I held my breath as I turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open. The smell of honey assaulted my senses and I breathed in so deeply that my body felt like it might snap in two from the pain…but to me, it was Heavenly.

I opened my eyes as my lips turned up into a thankful smile…but he wasn't there. His bed was there, made perfectly from the morning before school of the fateful day.

The laughter howled in my ears and I held my head in my hands and whispered harshly, "Shut up!"

I walked over and sat on his bed. The tears burned my eyes again as the emptiness of the room enveloped me. I laid down on his pillow and breathed it in. I laid there for awhile, remembering the times we had laid here together. My chest ached. My head throbbed. My eyes burned. But I felt…nothing.

The tears subsided hours later. But I still laid there until sunrise.

Eventually the door opened and my mother gasped, "Jesus, Edward, I was scared half to death. I didn't know where you were."

I couldn't bring my eyes to hers as I stare blankly at the wall and images of Jasper filled my vision.

She sighed, "Honey…"

I cringed at the word as it stung.

"Emmett is here to see you. Can I send him up?"

I closed my eyes and nodded my head briefly.

A few minutes later, I heard a soft knock and the door opened. I opened my eyes and continued staring at the wall.

He walked softly across the room and pulled a chair up to the bed, blocking my line of sight.

He spoke quietly, "Edward?"

I couldn't find my voice so I closed my eyes.

I heard him take a deep breath and continue, "I…um…I grabbed Jay's backpack from the back seat of Jane's car. I saw it when we first got there and was worried that there might be something in it that could get him in trouble, so I grabbed it and pretended it was mine. Here."

I felt the bed shift and opened my eyes to see his backpack lying in front of me. I pulled it to my chest and hugged it.

My eyes were heavy but I managed to look up at Emmett. His face was torn with emotion and I knew I should comfort him…but I couldn't do _anything_.

He sighed again, "Edward…look, man….I can't even think of how hard this is for you right now. I mean, if I ever lost Rose…I don't know what I'd do. But he'll come back…you know he'll come back the first chance he gets. He loves you. But, Edward…you're not alone. You've got your friends…your parents…we love you, man. We're worried about you. Please say something."

I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears began to spill over. I started sobbing hysterically, "He's all alone…his parents hurt him…his family drags him down…he's all alone…"

Then I felt two big strong arms around me and though they weren't quite right…I couldn't bring myself to pull away. And he held me as I sobbed.

Eventually, my tears were dried up and I pulled away sheepishly as I looked at his tear stained shirt, "Um…sorry."

He smiled a little, "Don't be. Feel any better?"

I shook my head, "No…not really but thanks for trying."

He let out a breath and furrowed his brow, "Hey, um…I've got some news on James, if you're interested?"

I shuddered at the name of the demon, "What?"

"Well, apparently…the morning of the fight, the cops had raided Laurent's house and found the movies and a bunch of drugs. I guess they were running some kind of child pornography thing and funding everything by selling drugs. They've all been arrested and are looking at 50 + years in prison. There _was _a teacher involved…Ms. Drake, the freshman Lit teacher. Anyway, they managed to escape that morning and the cops figured that they were just out for blood because they knew they were going down. There was a gun found underneath James car…the cops think that when Jay hit him, it must've went flying. I doubt you guys ever even saw it. So, I guess what I'm saying, Edward, is this could have ended a whole lot worse. You all made it out of this with minor physical damage. One of you…_all _of you could have lost your lives. Jasper _will _come back to you so just be thankful for that."

I sat up and nodded, "Yeah…I am…I just…God, I miss him."

He nodded softly, "Yeah, me too."

We were both quiet a few minutes when he finally spoke, "So, are you going to try and come back to school soon?"

I shrugged, school had been the last thing on my mind, "I don't know…I guess I will whenever my dad makes me."

Once again, he nodded softly. There was another knock at the door and my mom walked in with a tray of food, "Here, sweetie…please eat something."

My stomach churned and Emmett sighed, "Well, I'm going to go, man. I'll stop by tomorrow and maybe bring Brady with me if you're not at school."

I nodded, "Okay. Thanks, Em."

"Anytime, Ed."

My mother set the tray of food down and sat in the chair, "You doing any better, baby?"

I just shrugged, "I'm not really hungry mom."

She sighed and used her hand to smooth back my crazy hair that I hadn't brushed in four days now.

"Edward…I…"

I sighed and shook my head, "Please, mom…I just really want to be alone for now."

She closed her eyes and nodded briefly, "I understand, dear. Just…remember that I'm here…if you need…anything at all. Okay?"

I nodded, "I will, mom. Thanks."

She left the room and I'm pretty sure she was about to cry. Waves of guilt passed through me. I hurt everybody I love. I am toxic. Everything was my fault because I was too scared and too mental to handle things by myself.

My eyes closed as I thought back to my mother, Elizabeth.

_The kitchen was freezing cold. It was winter time in Chicago and my father insisted on keeping the thermostat set very low. I knew that he was some kind of business man because he left the house every day in a suit and with a brief case but I never really knew what he did. Whatever he did, he must not have made much money because he was adamant about being frugal._

_I was wearing blue fuzzy pajamas that zip up and have those feet in them, only the feet were worn with holes. My toes were freezing and I could see my breath. My body was shivering, but not just from the cold. My father's mere presence caused me to be scared beyond belief._

_He and my mother were talking about something…I wasn't really paying attention. My mind was busy with the pigeons outside the kitchen window. They were sitting on the sill as I watched. I was upset when they flew away…thinking how lovely it would be to just be able to fly away. The freedom must be exhilarating. I wondered if the pigeons realized how lucky they were._

_I wasn't paying attention as I reached for my glass of juice. My father had told me a million times to pay more attention…I was a dreamer and it pissed him off._

_My heart stopped and I held my breath as I watched the glass shatter on the ground._

_I looked at my mother whose eyes were wide with fear for me…she should've been more fearful for herself. _

"_Edward Anthony Masen! How many times have I told you to pay attention to what you're doing? Are you stupid? Are you incapable of learning?" My father didn't scream but his voice was loud and demanding of respect._

_I started shivering even more as I looked down at the table and stammered, "N…no, sir."_

_He slammed his hand down on the table and I jumped, "Then are you deliberately disobeying me?"_

_I continued staring down at the table as tears began to form in my eyes, "No, sir."_

_I closed my eyes as I heard the sound of his belt buckle being undone and pulled through the loops. He spoke once again, "Go get the bleach from underneath the sink and scrub this floor spotless."_

_I was shaking so hard I could barely stay seated in my chair. I tried to move…tried to will my body to get up…but I was terrified._

_He huffed and I heard the chair scoot back from the table. When I heard the sink door being opened, my eyes opened and flashed to my mother. Her wide eyes, filled with tears, stared at me as she mouthed, "I'm sorry."_

I hugged my knees as I rocked back and forth on Jasper's bed. Why did everyone tell me they were sorry? It was always _my _fault.

If I would've just gotten up from the table…if I wouldn't have been so afraid…so weak…

If I wouldn't have been so jealous of Brady…

If I never would've talked to James just because, once again, I was afraid and weak…

If I could've handled myself against the neighborhood bullies so Jasper wouldn't have felt the need to protect me…

If I would've done any of those things, the people I loved wouldn't suffer. But, no…I'm weak, pathetic, terrified…why would anyone love me when all I caused was pain?

The whispers and laughter resonated in my ears and they were ringing as my head ached. I groaned and buried my head in my hands.

I opened my eyes and watched shadows creeping slowly in, coming closer and closer. I stopped rocking and just sighed…all hope was gone for me.

Then the door opened and I just knew it was him coming to save me…but instead my father walked in.

My heart broke again.

The shadows scurried quickly away as the laughter faded. My dad looked at me worriedly and I didn't have the energy to calm his fears. I stared blankly in front of me and he sat down on the bed, "Son? I think we need to step up treatment for you with Dr. Greene. I'd like for you to see him twice a week for awhile. Will you do that for me?"

I started rocking back and forth again as I nodded. Just then, I heard the ring of a phone and I looked down at my phone in my hand as a wide grin spread across my face. I pulled it up to my ear, "Jay? Jasper?"

My father sighed as he pulled out his phone, "I'm sorry, son…it's mine."

He put it to his ear and I pulled mine away and looked at the picture of me and him I had as my wallpaper. I closed my eyes and laid back on the pillow as I grasped it tightly in my hand. Once again, I was crying. I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks and I jumped quickly so that I wouldn't taint Jasper's pillow. It smelled like him…I didn't want to ruin that.

My dad was speaking with someone at the hospital for a moment before hanging up and sighing, "I have to go in for a few hours, son. Can you…promise to call me if you need anything? Even if it's just someone to sit with you or someone to talk with?"

I nodded but couldn't bring myself to say anything as I continued staring at the wall.

He leaned over and kissed my forehead before sniffling and walking away.

_See, you hurt everyone who makes the mistake of loving you… _

I sighed and looked at Jasper's backpack lying there on the bed. I sat down cross legged and took a deep breath before pulling back the zipper. I pulled out his green notebook and carefully opened it's pages.

I smiled a little at the messy writing. I studied each page meticulously…running my fingertips over the raised ink. I smiled at the scribbles and doodles in the corners of the pages. I smiled at the little picture he had drawn on one page of Tigger and Pooh. I turned the next page and my heart fluttered at his beautiful handwriting…

_Jasper Whitlock_

_Jasper Whitlock-Cullen_

_Jasper Cullen-Whitlock_

_Jasper Cullen_

_Edward and Jasper Cullen_

And then just _Jasper Cullen _over and over again…

He really did want to marry me. Apparently he wanted to take my name. I would gladly give it to him if that's what he wanted. I would give him anything he asked of me.

I pulled the notebook to my chest as I sobbed again, fearful that I would desecrate the sacred pages with my tainted tears.

I cried for awhile until nightfall had come once again. I put the notebook on the nightstand and reached back into the backpack. I felt Jasper's phone. I pulled it out and went to the videos. I found the one he had made of me. I closed my eyes and pushed play…I had no desire to see myself but I could hear the faint grunts and moans of Jay in the background.

I listened to it probably about a hundred times before closing the phone and putting it in his nightstand. I chuckled a little when I looked in the drawer…it had a bottle of lube and about fifty packets of honey.

I looked at my phone again, just to make sure I hadn't missed anything. I hadn't.

I sighed and looked over at the laundry hamper. Slowly I rose from the bed and went to it. His black hoodie was in it so I pulled off my shirt and let it fall to the ground before inhaling the hoodie deeply. My ribs ached again from the deep breath but it was so worth it.

I slipped it over my shoulders and pulled it to my nose again just so I could breathe him in.

I crawled back into his bed and curled up on my side. I opened my phone and went to the videos. I found the one he had sent me from Rose's house the night I was grounded. I watched as he flashed that trademark smirk at the camera and winked before playing and singing softly…

_How I wish, how I wish you were here. _

_We're just two lost souls _

_Swimming in a fish bowl,_

_Year after year, _

_Running over the same old ground. _

_What have we found? _

_The same old fears. _

_Wish you were here. _

I played it over and over again until my eyes finally forced themselves shut and sleep took me over.

_I was lying on my small twin bed, in the darkened room reading my Bible for the hundredth time with only a small lamp to give me light. My toes were freezing, as always, as they stuck out from the blue pajamas I always wore._

_My eyes looked over the words as I said them softly to myself, "Daniel 4:13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven."_

_I heard giggling and then the sound of scratching along my blackened window. Curiosity got the best of me, but for once in my life…I wasn't afraid. Slowly I rose from the bed and crept silently to the window._

_I watched the black paint frantically being scratched away from the outside until the strong rays from the sun broke through. I gasped as the warmth hit my face and I smiled from the new found feeling._

_I watched carefully as the paint was ripped from the window until more and more light broke through._

_It was then, that I saw him._

_He looked to be about my age, about 6, but his skin was tan and he had golden curls that hung loosely around his face. His eyes were the softest baby blue I had ever seen. He smiled widely at me through the black streaked window and I blushed at the beautiful dimples he had._

_He continued scratching the paint away until almost all of it was gone. Once again, I gasped as I looked through the window._

_He was sitting perched on a tree branch that grazed my window. He was wearing only a pair of faded old jeans, no shirt, and barefoot. Behind him were two perfect white wings. He pressed him palm to the window and I studied his calloused fingertips carefully and saw the black paint embedded underneath his fingernails._

_Slowly, my hand rose and pressed against his through the glass. The warmth that radiated from it was heavenly._

_He smiled again and the corner of my mouth turned up in a crooked grin. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen._

_Then my bedroom door swung open and there before me was my demon…in the guise of my father._

_His face was twisted and his voice was spine tingling as he whispered, "It's time for dinner, Edward. It's time."_

_The tears came quickly to my eyes as I started to tremble. He came over and grabbed my other arm and yanked me from my angel at the window. I cried out as I kept my eyes fixed on his. Now he was frantically beating against the glass, trying to find some way in._

_I closed my eyes for just a moment, but they shot open at the sound of glass being shattered. I looked down to the floor and watched the cup shatter. I stopped breathing and then I was quickly pulled underneath the table._

_My angel was there._

_He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his wings around me. I heard the sounds my mother made as my father released her demons._

_He began singing softly in my ear and I sighed and rested against him._

_Then my father screamed again, "Look, Edward! Look at them! Do you see the demons?! Do you see them leaving?! Look, now!"_

_I didn't want to pull away from my angel but I was so scared of my demon. I gently pulled myself from his wings and looked over towards my mother._

_But then, he was kneeling between us, blocking my vision from the happenings on the other side of him._

_I whispered through hot tears, "Please don't…he'll see you…"_

_He shook his head as his golden curls bounced. His rough fingertip glided along my cheek and wiped the tears away. He whispered, "Just like you can't see his demons…he can't see your angel. Keep your eyes on me. Don't be afraid."_

_He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Luke 22:43."_

_I whispered, "An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him."_

_He nodded and we just stared into each other's eyes intently._

_And I wasn't afraid as I looked at him. I drew my strength from him._

_And then I felt an icy hand grab mine and yank me from my angel. I was pulled from underneath the table as I felt the cold, steel blade being forced into my hand. _

_I started to cry out but then I felt him behind me. His warm hand slid over top of mine and melted away the chill. His wings wrapped tightly around me and I felt his other hand slide over my eyes, "Don't look, Edward. __**Your**__ hand…and __**my **__hand…forever and ever, Edward…it will always be your hand in my hand."_

_And the calm overtook my body as I melted into him. _

_Moments later I was being yanked away again and carried outside into the darkness, surrounded by the chilly air._

_The trunk opened and I was thrown in it. My body ached and I looked over to my mother…but instead I saw warm blue eyes._

_He was lying next to me. He opened his arms and once again, I cuddled into his chest as he wrapped his wings and arms around me. I felt his warm, wet tears fall onto my face but I felt safe and warm and cleansed._

_Time passed by quickly and when the trunk opened, the bright sun hurt my eyes._

_My angel whispered, "Don't be afraid, Edward. I won't leave your side."_

_I nodded against his chest before I was ripped away again. He called out to me, "Close your eyes! Don't look!"_

_I did as he said while I waited for the pain to begin…but instead I felt the warmth of his wings surround me._

_Moments later, I was being lifted as he whispered, "It's over now, Edward. You can open your eyes."_

_He held my small naked body close to his chest and wrapped me in his warm wings. I heard faint whispers around me and saw streaks of light as the murmurs grew stronger._

_He laid me onto a wooden board and rubbed his fingertips across my forehead, "I have to go now, Edward."_

_I shook my head as tears began to spill again, "Please don't go…"_

_He leaned into my ear and whispered, "I'll be back…I'll __**always **__come back."_

_I reached out for him and he smiled, "Exodus 23:20."_

_I whispered as I watched him run away gracefully, "See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared." _

My eyes opened to the darkness of the room. I buried my face into his pillow and breathed in his scent again, letting it fill my lungs and calm me down.

I slowly rose from the bed and looked at the clock. It was past 3 in the morning. I saw the shadows following me as I walked down the hallway to my room, but I was indifferent to them.

I walked into my bathroom and stared in the mirror. Dull, lifeless green eyes showcased by dark purple bags underneath…messy, weird bronze hair that had a mind of its own…pale, fragile skin…

I sighed as I saw the faceless shadow leaning against the corner of the bathroom through the mirror.

He whispered, "I see you…"

I hung my head down as I sighed, "I know. You always see me."

He nodded once, "You know what to do to release me."

I shook my head as I studied the ground, "I can't. I promised him I wouldn't."

He laughed merciless, "And did he not lie to you? He promised he would stay by your side."

The tears slid down my cheek and crashed to the tile underneath me, "It's not his fault."

He sighed, "No…it's yours. Always yours. You have destroyed your angel just like you destroyed your mother. You're too weak…too pathetic. There's only one way to make this right."

I don't recall how the razor blade came into my hands but I watched it glisten in the moonlight that cascaded into the bathroom.

I whispered through tears, "I don't believe you. He will come back."

He laughed again and I shuddered, "2nd Peter, Chapter 2, Verse 4..."

I squeezed my eyes shut as I whispered, "For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment…"

The faceless shadow whispered back, "And the angels who did not keep their positions of authority but abandoned their own home--these he has kept in darkness, bound with everlasting chains for judgment on the great Day."

I whispered again, "Jude 1:6."

The shadow laughed, "He has abandoned you…his home. He is in Hell. All hope is lost for you, Edward. But…you can join him, if you wish."

My eyes snapped open as the anger and helplessness in me grew, conflicting and tearing away more and more at the little sanity I clung to.

I whispered, "Please…go away…please…"

He whispered back, "Never."

I looked at my bottle of Zoloft that sat on the counter. I just needed to take my medicine. If I took it, he would go away.

I popped open the cap and shakily poured a pill in my hand. The demon laughed as I threw it in my mouth and swallowed.

"You think you can get rid of me that easily…you foolish, stupid boy."

I was trembling as I poured another pill out and took it quickly. He continued laughing as I whispered, "Please…please just go away…please just stop…"

Before I realized it, the bottle was empty.

My stomach churned and my head was ringing with the loud shrill laughter in my ears. I put my hand over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut.

I walked over to shower and quickly turned it on. It took every bit of strength I had to pull myself in it. I slid down to the floor of the tub with my hands over my ears and my eyes closed tight as I rocked back and forth whispering, "Please save me…please come back…please…please…"

And then I was lost to darkness.

Pain made my eyes flash open as bright lights blinded me. I gagged at the intrusion down my throat and heard the faint murmurs of screams and whispers surrounding me. The taste of charcoal was engulfing every sense that I had and the more I gagged, the worse the pain it caused.

Moments later, I was lost to darkness again.

Again, bright lights blinded me, followed by haunting screams and cries. Demons pulled at my body in all directions and the familiar burn of hell fire scorched my body from within. I was in Hell. I was sure of it. The agony was unbearable.

I was thankful when the darkness took me again.

This happened repeatedly, sometimes the sounds would change and sometimes the screams seemed to be my own…but I could never really be sure until the darkness overwhelmed me again.

Eventually, my eyes opened again. They were hazy and stung as I looked at the grey walls around me. I jumped as I looked to the window and saw the heavy steel bars that kept me from the outside world.

_Oh God…please not again…_

I jumped from the bed and ran to the door…falling and stumbling along the way as my legs were weak and fragile.

I grabbed the steel handle and pulled with everything I had but it wouldn't budge. Tears stung my eyes as I screamed in a hoarse, soar voice, "Let me out! Please! No! Let me out!" I kicked and hit at the door when two arms surrounded me.

I jerked away as I focused on the face standing next to me.

"Edward! You have to stop or they'll sedate you again! C'mon, man! This is the third time you've done this! You have to stop!"

I backed up against the wall as my hands tugged roughly at my hair. Tears spilled easily as I slid down the wall.

He came and knelt down in front of me. He put his hand on my shoulders but it burned so I jerked away.

He sighed, "Edward? Can you hear me? Don't pass out again…stay awake."

I buried my head into my knees and sobbed hysterically for what seemed like hours.

It must've been because when I looked up, I saw the moonlight coming in through the window.

My tears were dried now and my head ached. I sighed and he looked over from his bed he was lying on reading a book.

He whispered, "Are you okay?"

I shook my head as I studied the ground again, "No, Tommy…I'm not okay."

He closed his book and came over to me, he knelt down again and extended his hand, "I know you don't like to be touched, Edward…but please just let me help you over to your bed."

I took a sharp breath as my hand reached towards his. It burned but I was too weak to stand on my own right now. He wrapped an arm around my waist and I shuddered as he helped me over to the bed.

Once I was sitting, he sat across from me on his bed.

I sighed, "How long have I been here?"

He whispered, "Almost three weeks."

I nodded and whispered, "Here…I saved you something to eat."

He handed me a bag of chips and a Coke. I sighed as my stomach churned, "Not hungry."

He closed his eyes for a moment and whispered, "Edward? You've lost like 15 pounds. You really need to eat something."

I just sighed, "Food is not what I need."

I pulled myself up from the bed and braced myself on the wall as I made my way over to the window. I sat down on the hard windowsill as my body ached. I stared at the outside world…the world in which I no longer belonged.

I watched the sun rise and set again. People had come in and out of the room several times but I couldn't focus on anything so I just continued looking out the window.

Eventually, I heard my mother's voice, "Edward? Baby? Can you hear me?"

I did but I couldn't get my voice and mind to work together so I continued staring out the window.

I heard her sob, "Please, Edward? Please come back. I can't lose you too. I just can't."

The place where my heart had once been, ached again and I sighed deeply and continued to stare out the window.

Then I heard my father's voice, "Son? I snuck your phone in here."

My head snapped to face him now as I snatched the phone and looked through it frantically as I searched for the missed phone calls.

I started to sob and my heart was racing now, "Where is it? Where's his calls?"

My dad sighed deeply, "There haven't been any yet son. It's probably going to take some time."

I had to bite down the anger as I murmured, "Where the fuck is he?"

I continued to stare out the window as the day passed slowly by. Eventually, the nurses came in and forced me to take something to help me sleep.

I resigned, no longer able to fight it as sleep overtook me.

When I woke, I searched frantically for my phone but it was nowhere to be found. Tommy sighed, "Someone probably took it, Edward. They steal everything in this place."

I became angry as I tore through the hallways…only to be sedated and dragged back to my room again.

Time passed so slowly in this place. Things were the same as I remembered. Group therapy where we would sit and talk about our issues…I just sat and stared at the windows, hugging my chest.

Dr. Greene came in twice a week for visits but I rarely spoke. He would say to me, "Edward? You know, depression is just anger without enthusiasm. You need the enthusiasm to get angry."

But I could barely manage to breathe all damn day, let alone, get angry.

Sometimes I would break down in group and whisper about how much I missed Jasper…I wondered where he was and what he was doing. I wondered if he was falling apart without me…but he was tougher than I was so I was hopeful that he would be okay. But then the other boys started teasing me relentlessly.

It was just like I remembered as I got pushed around and picked on…too weak to fight back.

Sometimes I spoke to Tommy, he was doing better and looked to be released soon. And then I'd be completely alone again.

I was walking in the hallway, it was in the middle of the night. It had been about a month since I had lost my phone. I heard snickering coming from the boys bathroom from the boys who had tortured me on a daily basis.

I pressed my ear to the door and listened…

"Wow…you're really pretty pathetic. The boy doesn't want you anymore, Jasper. So, I think you need to quit being such a spineless pussy and accept that it's over."

Their laughter burned through me as rage overtook every ounce of my body. I threw open the door and lunged at Hayden. My phone went flying and crashed against the wall. I had never been so angry in all my life.

I grabbed him and threw his back against the sink as his head broke the mirror behind him. I saw through the broken shards, two more boys coming at me.

I let go of Hayden and ducked as I turned. I saw the stainless steel bars that held the window shut, so I lunged at one of them and caused his head to hit the bars hard behind him.

The last one jumped on my back, but I reached behind and grabbed him by his hair. I had no idea where the strength came but I yanked him hard and threw him to the ground. He landed on his back with a loud thud and I just started hitting him…over and over again until I was being yanked away by security.

The darkness overtook me again as I felt the needle plunge into my hip.

When I awoke, it was time for group. I sat there with my arms folded and a cocky smirk on my face as the three boys from last night, sit there…bruised and bandaged. They never opened their mouths to me again.

But now I knew that Jasper had called. I had to get out of this place…get home so I could get another phone.

Dr. Greene smiled the next morning as I walked into the office, "So, I see you finally found your anger."

I nodded and sat down. I pulled my legs up to my chin and he sighed thoughtfully, "Edward? When your father was hurting you…what did you do?"

I looked down at the ground and whispered, "Um…I just…cried…begged him to stop."

He spoke again, "And when the boys at your old school use to bully you…what did you do?"

I sighed and whispered, "Cried…begged them to stop."

He leaned forward and whispered, "What about the demons, Edward?"

I looked over at him as I furrowed my brows, "Same thing."

He smiled, "I thought you adopted a new philosophy before all this happened. WWJD?"

I smiled just a little, "What would Jasper do?"

He nodded, "Yes. What do you think Jasper would do if he were faced by your demons?"

My crooked grin was in full force now as I whispered, "He would tell them to fuck off. He would fight them back."

He clapped his hands, "Very good, Edward. It's about time you start fighting back. _Your _demons…only _you_ can fight them. Only you can get rid of them because you know as well as I do, that they only exist in your mind. Start fighting them back, Edward. The next time you see them, think of what Jasper would do."

For the next month, I worked diligently to get well enough to be released. Tommy had been released a couple weeks before and finally, on my 16th birthday, my mom and dad came to get me.

School was out now and I had managed to finish up the rest of what I needed to get done, my last couple of weeks at the hospital.

I hadn't seen the demons for awhile and I was anxious to get home. I ran up to my room and turned on my computer. I smiled at the wallpaper of me and Jay on Christmas night.

I pulled up my email and gasped when I saw 124 emails…all from Jasper.

He hadn't emailed me in over a month and my heart broke again as I read each and every one. They started out hopeful and strong…but by the end, he seemed so lost. He explained why it had taken so long for him to call and I couldn't imagine how he must feel. He really thought I did something with Tommy. He really thought I was avoiding him. He had given up.

Luckily, I hadn't. He needed me. He saved me so many times in my life…it was time for me to save him. I answered the last email back and told him what happened, but I doubted he would even see it. School was over in Texas too and I didn't know if he had access to a computer outside of school.

So, I pulled up the white pages on the internet and found every Whitlock in Texas. I pulled out my new phone and just started calling.

Two days had passed, and I hadn't found anyone who knew him yet, but I would never give up. When I needed to take a break from the phone, I started practicing his guitar. I pulled out his old notebooks and went through the songs and notes he had written to teach myself. Even when he was gone…he was still teaching me new things.

I also found a cooking website that was filled with nothing but recipes for southern food. My parents were the guinea pigs as I tried out new recipes a few times a week.

I had been practicing driving some more with my dad. I needed to get good at this and I was determined to get it right.

My father was beside himself because he still hadn't found any legal ways to get Jasper back home.

I kept myself extremely busy but I still broke down at night a lot.

On my third day, I heard a soft knock on the door and smiled when I saw Peter walk in, "C'mon, son! It's a beautiful day and I need a fishin buddy!"

I didn't really want to break away from my phone but I knew how important Peter was to Jasper, therefore, he was just as important to me.

I smiled, "Um…Peter? I don't know how to fish. I've never done it before."

He laughed, "Psh…I can teach ya…if ya want?"

I couldn't help but laugh…no wonder Jasper loved him so much.

I walked out to his old truck and we drove for awhile until we came to a lake. He showed me the proper way to bait a hook and even though it grossed me out a little, it was pretty cool too.

We sat on the bank as the warm sun beat down on us. I looked over at Peter, "How's Charlotte doing?"

He sighed, "Not so good, son. Doctor's are sayin she ain't got but a couple weeks left. Half the time she don't even 'member who I am."

I frowned as my heart clenched for him, "I'm so sorry, Peter."

He half smiled over at me, "Thanks son…but I got damn near 52 years with her. I ain't gonna waste no time feelin sorry for myself…for 52 years I slept with an angel by my side. Can't be sad bout that."

I took a breath and exhaled slowly, "I miss Jasper."

He sighed, "Yeah…me too."

I looked over at his eyes, so full of knowledge and history, "What do I do, Peter?"

He smiled another half smile at me, "My pastor told me once that life is like peaks and valleys. One minute, you can be standing on top of that mountain peak so high…it's like ya could reach out and touch Heaven. A minute later, ya stumble and fall down that hill to the deepest valley below. Down so far that ya can feel Hell's fire burnin the hair on yer ass…"

I chuckled a little and he smiled, "…ya can either lay there and accept where yer at…or ya can start climbing that hill to get to the top of the next peak. Ya gotta know that the climb is gonna be hard and ya may even stumble backwards a few times…but ya gotta keep climbin. Heaven's at the top of that mountain, son…ya just gotta get there."

I smiled now, "So…you think I should go after my Heaven?"

He chuckled, "Yer daddy told me he's takin ya out car shoppin this afternoon. My advice…get a car that can drive ya all the way to Heaven, if that's where ya wanna go."

I nodded, "Thanks, Peter…I will."

Peter took me home a little later and my dad took me out car shopping. I was excited as we looked. He was talking to a salesman about a Mustang…I was talking to a salesman about a Volvo.

After he assured me that it got great gas mileage, was really quite roomy, and could handle cross country road trips, I turned to my dad, "This is it, dad."

He quirked an eyebrow, "Really? A silver Volvo?"

I nodded vehemently, "Yes, this is the one."

He looked at me strangely, "You sure you don't want something a little…sportier?"

I laughed, "No…unless you want to give me the Vanquish."

Now he laughed, "You must be crazy, son!"

Then he stopped dead in his tracks and winced at his words. I couldn't help the laughter that overtook me. A minute later he was laughing again.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled, "It's okay, dad. I am a little crazy but I think everyone's got issues. I'm dealing with mine and that's what's important."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, "I'm really proud of you son."

We left the lot and went straight to the license branch. I took my driving test and passed easily. We got new plates for the car and he let me drive home by myself. I loved my shiny new Volvo…although, I was pretty sure Jay would give me some flack for it.

When we got back home, I grabbed a quick sandwich and ran back up to my room. I continued going down the long list of Whitlock's in Texas.

I worked at that a few hours and decided on just one more call tonight. I dialed Barbara Whitlock's number and pinched the bridge of my nose as I waited for someone to pick up.

"Y'ello?"

"Um…yes, ma'am. My name is Edward and I'm hoping you may be able to help me. I'm looking for a Jasper Whitlock. Do you, by chance, know him?"

The woman sighed, "Well, yeah…that's my nephew. He ain't here right now…ain't seen him in a couple o' days, matter of fact. What'chu want with him?"

My heart fluttered and I did my best to keep my voice from squeaking, "Um, I'm a friend of his from back in Washington. I've been trying to find him. Do you know his phone number?"

"He ain't got no phone, son."

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, "Do you happen to have an address?"

"Well…sure I guess. It's 407 Baxter Drive. Mission, Texas."

I quickly jotted the address down as my heart raced, "Thank you so much, ma'am. If you see him, could you please tell him that Edward called? Tell him that everything he thought was a mistake?"

She yelled at someone in the background before sighing, "Sure, sure…"

Then she hung up. I jumped up from my computer and ran to my closet. I pulled out my suitcase and quickly packed it. I wasn't sure exactly what I was doing, but I knew I was going to him. I needed my angel back.

I went down to his room and packed him a bag too. I grabbed his guitars and brought it all to my room. Once I had all our clothes packed, I walked into the bathroom to grab my toiletries. As I glanced in the mirror, I saw the shadow leaning against the corner of the bathroom.

He whispered, "I see you."

I took a deep breath and turned to face him. I leaned against the counter and folded my arms across my chest.

I growled, "Fuck off!"

He laughed humorlessly, "No. You are mine."

I shook my head, "No! You don't scare me anymore! You can't hurt me! You're not even real! Now fuck off!"

He sighed deeply, "I am a part of you…"

I snickered, "The batshit crazy part…but that's not the biggest part of me. I'm not afraid and I will destroy you. I will beat you. I am stronger than you. You can take that shit all the way back to Hell and let all your buddies know too. You're done fucking around with me…so, you let them all know…that Edward fucking Cullen is done taking shit. Now fuck off."

He sighed, "We will follow you..."

I laughed and muttered, "Yeah? Well, you'll have to follow my happy ass all the way to Texas."

I turned away and hummed to myself as I gathered my things. I was acutely aware that I had just had an argument with air…but strangely, I had never felt more sane.

I walked back into my bedroom and put in my Ipod. I cranked it up and sang to myself to drown out the voices. It worked.

Once everything was packed, I made sure my parents were asleep before loading up my car. I grabbed my photo album and camera on my last trip. I smiled to myself looking at the packed trunk. The salesman was right, this sucker was roomy.

I opened the garage door and punched in the address on the GPS. I pulled away quickly and soon, I was racing down the highway with the windows down. The wind was ripping through the car and the Kings Of Leon were blaring on my radio. I couldn't help the smile that was plastered to myself.

I looked over at the photo album and ran my thumb across his picture, "I'm coming, Jay. Just hold on a little longer, baby."


	26. Chapter 26

**One of my readers asked about playlists on my you tube for this story, so I have created separate playlists for each one. BTW, check out the Ch 1 Playlist for an insanely hot picture slideshow of Jackson Rathbone to In The City and Ch 10 for a scorching picture slideshow of Robert Pattinson to Sex on Fire.**

**So, I'm on Twitter now…the link is on my profile and I'm still trying to learn how to use that shit so…**

**Thanks to everyone for all of the reviews! I'm completely amazed at all I've gotten for the last couple of chapters. I hope you guys continue to enjoy my boys thoroughly…I know I do ;)**

**Playlist: Family Tradition by Hank Williams Jr., Dead and Bloated by Stone Temple Pilots, Make Me Bad by Korn, Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Anything Goes by Randy Houser, Whistlin Dixie by Randy Houser, and Broken by Robert Pattinson**

**Jasper's POV**

I groaned as I opened my burning eyes and peeled my face off of the cold hard tile, "Mother fuckin, son of a bitch…"

I looked over at the empty bottle of Jack Daniels beside me and just shook my head as I grumbled, "Passed out on the kitchen floor…god damn I'm fuckin pathetic."

"Yup…and ya drank all my whiskey," my father's voice was ringing in my ears.

I pulled myself up into a sitting position and pulled out my wallet. I pulled out a few twenties and reached them up to him, "Here…get me my own whiskey next time ya head to the liquor store."

He took the money and shoved it in his pocket. And I just didn't have the energy to move…so I curled back up and laid back down on the floor.

I faintly remember watching the black boots walk away and out the door before I fell back asleep.

"God damn, cuz! Ya look like refried shit!"

I opened one eye and saw dirty work boots in my line of vision. I closed my eye and groaned, "Leave me alone, Jeremiah. I ain't in the mood to smoke."

He nudged me with his boot, "C'mon, man! Get yer stankin ass off the god damn floor and go wash them nasty balls, son!"

I groaned and looked up at him, "Fuck off."

He let out a breath, "Alright, cuz…ya leave me no choice…"

Then he reached down and grabbed me around my waist and began lifting me up to my feet.

My body ached and my head was ringin. I jerked from him and growled, "I said to leave me the fuck alone!"

The fucker just smirked, "Quit yer wallerin in self fuckin pity, bro."

I clenched my fist as I grabbed onto the kitchen table to steady my woozy ass so I wouldn't fall flat on my face, "Ya wanna nother broken leg, fucker?!"

He just folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow, "Ya really wanna fight me, cuz?"

I sighed as my body screamed out in pain, "No…not really. Fuck."

He smirked as he pulled the joint that was tucked behind his ear, "C'mon, man…I'm gonna smoke this joint with ya…then yer gonna wash yer stankin ass."

I pulled out a kitchen chair and he pulled out one across from me.

He took a couple tokes before passin it my way. He choked out, "So, we're gonna go down to the swimmin hole and have us a barbecue. You comin?"

I took a hit and held it a minute before slowly exhaling, "Who's goin?"

I handed it back to him and he took another toke, "Just us sausages…ya know, the gang and shit."

I sighed, "Yeah I guess. Not like I got anythin better to do anyway."

He laughed, "Well, fuck you too cuz! You should be thankful hangin out with a handsome mother fucker like me…schoolin ya in the ways of life and shit."

I rolled my eyes now and started laughin. I grabbed my nuts and smirked, "Ya can't teach me nothin I ain't already learned, cuz."

Once the joint was down to a small roach, he stubbed it out and put it in his cigarette pack.

I finally dragged my ass to the shower, not really feelin any better but at least a little more numb. I looked in the grimy ass mirror and barely recognized the boy I once knew. I had dark purple circles underneath my eyes, stubble startin to grow on my chin, my eyes were bloodshot and lifeless. I looked like I felt.

_Why the hell would Edward want me now anyway…_

I wasn't even that good lookin anymore…well, I was still better lookin than most guys but still…

I sighed and decided against shaving. I got the water as hot as I could stand and just let it wash over me. I stood there with both hands against the wall and the water pouring down my neck and face, making my curls hang down over my face as the reality of it hit me.

_I lost him…_

I leaned my head against my arm and remembered back…

"…_I don't wanna mess up our friendship. We're gonna be best friends forever, right? No matter what?"_

_He smiled that sweet, crooked smile, "Of course, Jay, Forever. And I'm not ready for anything but kissing anyway. I don't want this to ruin our friendship either."_

He promised me forever…he fuckin lied. I didn't wanna believe that he was screwin round with Tommy, but why hadn't he called me back? Answered one of those god damn e-mails? Tommy wasn't even his type. Maybe he lied bout that too. Maybe I _was _just convenient…someone there to scratch an itch. He _was _horny as hell all the fuckin time…maybe it wasn't cuz of me at all…

_I should track down Carlisle at the fuckin hospital…or Em…_

I let out a deep sigh…

_No…I'd be better off just leavin the past behind…it'd hurt way too fuckin much to be rejected by them too. Out of sight…out of fuckin mind, I guess. Time for me to just move the fuck on and start livin my new life…_

_I ain't ever gonna be Jasper Cullen…I'm always gonna be Jasper fuckin Whitlock…god damn it…_

I couldn't even manage tears anymore, that would require way too much energy.

The next couple of weeks passed by in a hazy cloud of smoke and a slow burn of whiskey. I had thought a couple times bout goin out and fuckin someone…anyone, just to make myself feel better. But for some reason, I didn't think it _would _actually make feel any better.

I pushed Edward to the back of my mind but he haunted me…always poppin into my head whenever I wanted to do somethin real bad…which was often. But I kept up my routine of workin, school, and stayin fucked up from sunrise till sundown so that I could try to keep his images from stalking me.

I was sittin in my last period of the last day of school. I took a big swig from the bottle of Sprite filled with vodka. It hardly burned at all anymore.

I had my arms folded across my desk and my head lyin on them. I stared out the window and didn't bother blowing the curls that fell in front of my eyes. It didn't really matter cuz I wasn't payin no attention to anything goin on outside. It was a beautiful sunny Texas day…but my mind was stuck on a dark rainy sky…

_I opened the front door and ran down the steps when I saw him there. Lightening flashed and the rain stung as it hammered the ground. He was pleading for God to save him. I dropped to my knees in the cold mud and grabbed onto him so tight I was sure he wouldn't be able to move._

"_You're okay, darlin…you're safe. Everything's gonna be okay."_

_His smile was brilliant and those emerald eyes were wild and bright as he reached up with velvet fingertips and brushed them gingerly across my cheek, "I know, angel. You got here in time. He didn't break me yet…you saved me."_

_I couldn't stand to watch him like this. He was so lost and I couldn't stop the flood of tears that broke through._

"_Don't cry, angel. There's no reason to ever cry again…he can't hurt me anymore."_

_I can barely see him pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes through the hot tears as I sobbed violently. I just held him as close as I could as I pleaded, "Please, Edward…please stop…please be okay…please just stop…"_

_His soft hands cupped my face as he whispered in short breaths, "Jasper, I'm so sorry. I'm okay now. We need to get out of the rain."_

_I searched his beautiful green eyes for recognition of the boy that I knew and loved. I had to make sure that he had really come back to me…I knew I couldn't survive if he was lost forever, "Edward?"_

_He nodded as his rain soaked bronze hair clung to his forehead and droplets of water ran slowly down his blushing cheeks, "Yeah, Jay. I'm okay."_

I was interrupted from my thoughts when the final bell rang. With a heavy sigh, I lifted my head and grabbed my bottle.

"Mr. Whitlock? Stay behind for a minute. I'd like to speak with you."

I groaned and rolled my eyes, "Seriously, Mr. Naper? It's the last damn day of school and you're gonna keep me late?"

He stood by the door of the classroom and waited until the other students were gone before closing it.

He leaned against his desk and folded his arms across his chest. I was growing impatient, "What the fuck did ya want?"

He sighed and shook his head, "What I'd really like to know, Jasper, is why are you acting stupid? Are you just being lazy? What the hell's going on with you?"

I was getting pissed as I stood from the desk, "Fuck off…you can't keep me here for this shit."

He took a deep breath, "You were in the top 5 percent of your class at your last school. I spoke with your teachers there and each and every one of them said that you were a little rough around the edges but that you were respectful, intelligent, and well behaved…for the most part."

I really didn't wanna hear that shit. I sighed and took a sip from my Sprite bottle before answering, "It don't matter cuz I ain't that guy no more."

He looked at me for a moment before sighing and shaking his head, "I don't understand why you've given up, Jasper. You can do well and you can graduate and do something with your life but only if you work for it."

I rolled my eyes, "Why the fuck do you care?"

He groaned and my breathing hitched as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

_God damn it, Edward…leave me the fuck alone…_

He looked at me and let out an exasperated sigh, "You are different than your cousins, Jasper. I taught each and every one of them and they just…didn't have what you have. You are a fighter…I can see that in your hands. So, please just answer the question and I will leave you be. Why have you given up?"

I looked down at my scarred up hands…

"_I like the way your fingertips feel. These small calluses from plucking your guitar…I like how rough your hands are…"_

_His satin fingertips brushed and teased my palm, causing the little hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. I whispered, "Really?"_

_He nodded with that cute little crooked grin that I was __**really **__startin to like and I couldn't help but smile, "Most girls think my hands are too rough…I've really messed them up fighting and stuff."_

_He studied my hands carefully, his fingertips felt like silk as they traced each scar and callous so softly…_

_And my heart started to speed up like it had never really done before. No one had ever been so gentle with me. Everything about me screamed 'rough and dirty' but he wasn't treating me like that right now. Those green eyes danced and my heart kinda fluttered as he whispered, "Well, I like them."_

I grabbed my backpack and threw it on my shoulder. I shoved my scarred up hands in my pockets and sighed, "I ain't got a reason to fight no more."

He tried to keep talking but I just walked past him and out the door. As I hurried down the hallway to escape this place and the damn memories that were playing on repeat in my head, he called out, "What's worth fighting for, Jasper?!"

_Asshole…_

I practically ran outta the building to see Jeremiah waitin on me, "Hey cuz, what took ya so long?"

I just shook my head, "Nothin, man…bunch o'bullshit."

Once we left the school grounds, Jeremiah handed me a joint and we walked as we smoked.

Jeremiah smiled like the silly fucker he is, "So, I gotcha birthday present?"

I eyed him suspiciously, "Oh yeah…what the fuck ya get me?"

He raised an eyebrow, "We're on our way there right now, cuz. Trust me, yer gonna thank me for this one."

_Fuck…I hope it's not a damn woman…I told him I had someone back home…but I also told him that it was over…it __**is **__over…god damn it…_

My stomach was doin flip flops as we turned round the corner to my "surprise."

But then as he pushed open the door to a tattoo shop, I _was _a little surprised, "What? A tat?"

He nodded, "Yup. Owner's a buddy o'mine. He'll do ya up. I got my first tat at 16. Get whatever ya want, man."

I smiled now…this was actually a really good gift.

"Thanks, cuz…that's like…all sweet and shit."

He laughed, "Yeah…I'm a sweet mother fucker…that's why the ladies like lickin on my dick, man…it tastes like candy."

We met up with his buddy and after lookin awhile…I picked out something that kinda meant a whole fuckin lot to me.

It covered my whole back and took a few hours to finish but when he was done, I felt good.

As we was leavin the shop, Ethan drove up in his old truck, "Hope in, ya fuckers! The sausages are havin a night out by the lake for this young'uns birthday! Barbecue and all that shit."

We hopped in and headed out to the lake for the night. It was just all my cousins, the guys in my band, and a few of their friends, sittin round drinkin, smokin, swimmin, and barbecuin a whole mess of ribs.

By the time nightfall came a bunch of women had showed up too. It was dark as hell but the moon was bright and the fire lit up the place. I had lost track of how much liquor I had drank and how much pot we smoked…but I was fuckin tore up.

I was sittin in the back of a truck bed, knockin back another beer when Jeremiah came walkin up with his chick and a guitar, "Here, fucker…make yourself useful!"

I smirked as he handed me a blunt and the guitar, "It's my fuckin birthday…I ain't here to entertain you fuckers."

He just raised an eyebrow, "Okay then…I'll just sing."

I snatched the guitar from him, "Like hell you will…ya can't sing for shit."

His chick smiled up at him, "Aww, baby…I think ya sing real good."

He rolled his eyes and took a pull of his beer, "That's just cuz I'm dickin ya down nightly, sugar."

I set my beer down on the truck bed and took a hit from the blunt before passin it on. I pulled the guitar in my lap and started singin "Family Tradition."

Everyone gathered round as I sung and on the hook, they all joined in…

"So, don't ask me…Jay, why do you drink? Jay, why do you roll smoke? Why must ya live out the songs that you wrote? Stop and think it over…put yourself in my unique position…So, if I get stoned and sing all night long, it's a family tradition!"

I played around a little more that night, and when I woke up in the mornin on that hard ass truck bed…I felt like shit again.

The next few weeks passed by slow as molasses on a hot summer day. Jeremiah had taken me to go get my license, I wasn't sure why…I didn't have no car and I didn't have nowhere to go anyway.

I had gotten my tongue pierced one drunken night. I don't 'member how the fuck that happened. I was startin to get worse with the drinkin and the pills. I started blackin out a lot but somehow, I always ended up in Jeremiah's bed and he was sleepin on the couch.

It was a Friday night and we had been doin so good in our band that we had a show tonight and then another one tomorrow at a country bar, so we had been practicin a lot of new music for that one.

I walked over to Jeremiah's house before the show and Daniel was gonna pick us up there. As we were headin out the door, Aunt Barb hollered, "Oh, hey Jasper…some boy called for ya. I think his name was Egbert or somethin crazy…"

My heart dropped as I turned to her, "Edward? Was it Edward?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment, "Yeah I think that was it. He said somethin bout him makin a mistake or somethin…"

And my heart shattered again…

_He's fuckin admittin it…God damn right he made a mistake…Mother fuckin asshole…god damn cheatin son of a fuckin bitch…fuck it…fuck him…fuck it all…_

I refused to fuckin cry anymore for that bastard. I drank a whole fuckin lot of whiskey before the show but it didn't help numb the pain this time.

We started our set with Stone Temple Pilots, 'Dead and Bloated.'

I gripped the mic with both hands and squeezed my eyes shut as I wailed, "I am smellin like a rose that somebody gave me on my birthday death bed…I am smellin like a rose that somebody gave me cuz I'm dead and bloated…"

I just lost myself to it all…the music…the crowd…the overwhelming, bone crushing pain…

We moved on to the next song and I was really feelin that mother fucker…'Make Me Bad.'

I unleashed everythin I had on that guitar and that mic, "I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no not again…it's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh make me bad…"

The crowd was roarin and I was sweatin like a whore in church, so I pulled off my shirt…the ladies started goin wild…it felt good to be wanted.

I saw Kaycee up front, jumpin up and down as she danced and sang along. Her blonde hair was bouncing all around and her tits were practically fallin out of her top. She smiled up at me and I winked back.

_May not be what I want…but I've been with girls before…fuck it…I'm fuckin that tonight…_

We played a few more songs as I started flirtin with all the chicks in the place, my ego got the little boost it'd been needin.

We finally made it to the last song, 'Animal I Have Become,' and I sang the words with conviction cuz whatever I used to be was long gone…

_I can't escape this hell_

_So many times I've tried_

_But I'm still caged inside_

_Somebody get me through this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

_So what if you can see _

_the darkest side of me_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe_

_it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal!_

Once the show was done, I was feelin…nothing.

I was backstage smoking a blunt when Kaycee slithered over to me and pulled me down so she could whisper in my ear, "I heard ya had a birthday, Jay…wanna go back to my place so I can give ya your gift?"

I passed off the blunt and just nodded, still not quite able to get the words out.

"Follow me, baby."

I followed her out to her car and got in the passenger seat. She was rattlin on the whole way bout how good she was gonna suck my dick and all the things she wanted to do to me.

I wanted to throw up.

We came to her apartment and I followed her up the stairs. She opened the door and the second I heard it lock behind me…I wanted to run.

_You've come too fuckin far to back out now, Jay…be a fuckin man and just fuck her…_

I tried to pull myself together and calm my nerves. She grabbed me and pressed me against the door and tried to kiss me…but since I was a lot taller than her, I just turned my head and kept my lips away as she started kissing and suckin on my neck.

She was gripping my arms and clawing me with those god damn fake ass fingernails…that shit hurt like a son of a bitch.

Everythin she was doin was so fuckin rough and just…cold.

As she started kissin and bitin down my chest…I let my mind wander like I used to do before…that fuckin bastard…

But my mind was fucked up right now so it went to a very dark place…

"_Wake up, Jay."_

_I opened my sleepy eyes, "What'cha want, Sarah? You okay?"_

_She smiled at me with a wicked gleam in her eye that made me shiver, "I need your help with something, Jasper. C'mon, let's go to the basement."_

_She grabbed my hand and pulled me off the couch I was sleepin on. We crept slowly to the basement door and walked down the old wooden stairs. It was damp and cold and I heard giggling._

_When we reached the bottom, there was an old blanket laid out on the floor and her two friends were sittin there laughing._

_I pulled my hand from hers, now a little freaked out, "What do ya want my help with?"_

_She laughed and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. She leaned down to my ear and whispered, "Kayla and Erin think that you'll be too scared to fuck…I think you won't. We've been doing a lot, Jasper…it's time for the next step."_

_I pulled away and looked up at her with disgust, "No! I ain't ready yet…I don't wanna…"_

_Her friends burst into laughter and she snickered like the evil bitch she was, "Oh, come on Jay! Stop being such a whiny little girl! A real man would jump at the chance to fuck me!"_

_She grabbed my hand and yanked me over to the blanket, practically pullin my arm out of the socket. Her friends were giggling, "Sarah, he looks like he's about to cry…that's so pathetic…"_

"_He's just a baby…maybe you should go find someone actually worth fucking…"_

_She looked down at me cuz she was taller, bein 3 years older than me. She rolled her eyes, "Quit being such a little pussy! If you don't have the balls to go through with this…I swear to God that all of your little buddies who think you're so fucking cool…I'll tell them how scared you are of girls…I'm trying to help you, Jay…I know you're a little faggot…"_

_My chest was heaving as her words cut through me like a knife, "I ain't a fuckin faggot and I ain't scared!"_

_She smiled now as she reached down and yanked my sweatpants and boxers down, "We'll see about that…"_

_She pushed me down on the blanket and started suckin my dick. I closed my eyes as hate and disgust ran through me. When she said I was ready, she pulled off her nightgown and laid down next to me._

_She pulled me on top of her and reached down and grabbed me roughly, helping me to get it in…while her friends giggled._

_It didn't feel like I thought it would…I expected sex to be some cosmic explosion of pleasure and happiness…but I just felt scared and humiliated._

_I slowly started moving as her nails scratched hard down my back and I hissed in pain. She called out, "C'mon, Jay…harder…faster…"_

_So I started tryin to do it the way she wanted but I guess it wasn't good enough cuz she groaned and rolled her eyes as she pushed me off her and onto my back. She crawled on top of me mumbling, "Damn it, Jasper…do I have to teach you how to fuck too? Can't you do anything right?"_

_She slammed down on top of me so hard that my body screamed out in pain but I bit my lip to stifle the yelp. She was tearing at my chest with her nails and riding me so hard, I didn't know if I was gonna be able to cum at all cuz it hurt._

_I could feel my eyes welling up and I squeezed them shut and just prayed that she'd be done soon._

_Eventually, she rolled off of me and with heavy breaths she screamed out, "What the hell is wrong with you?! You can't even stay hard long enough for me to get off?! You're fucking worthless! You're going to need a hell of a lot more practice if you ever expect anyone to want to fuck you…"_

_With that she pulled on her nightgown and they all got up giggling about how pathetic and useless I was. I heard them climb the stairs and leave._

_I laid there, tears finally spilling over as I curled up on my side and cried like a god damn baby. _

_After awhile, I pulled myself up and put my sweats back on. I stumbled up the stairs and into the kitchen. It was a little after 3 in the mornin and I had no idea where mama was. _

_I saw a small pint of vodka sittin on the counter, so I grabbed it and my blanket off the couch. I locked myself in the bathroom and curled up. The vodka burned something awful but I just wanted to feel something…__**anything **__different than what I was feelin. Eventually, I passed out on the bathroom floor._

I opened my eyes and looked down as fingernails dug into my thigh and her other hand wrapped tight as hell around my limp dick. She smiled up at me, "Don't worry…I'm gonna get ya there. By the way, I love your new tat. You're _my _angel now."

And as she opened her mouth…another memory came floodin back to me…

"_Jasper, it doesn't matter what you say…no one has the right to make threats and push you into doing something you don't want to do. I know that it may hurt your reputation but you do have a choice. You can say no."_

I grabbed her shoulders and pulled away from the door, stumbling around trying to pull my jeans back up, "Kaycee, stop! I'm sorry…I can't do this!"

She stood up and glared at me, "What the fuck?! Ya can't back out now!"

I was drunk as hell and havin trouble tryin to stay away from her and pull my jeans up as she stalked toward me.

"The fuck I can't! I don't want this! I don't want you! I'm fuckin leavin!"

I grabbed my shirt that was thrown over the couch and had my jeans up but not buttoned yet.

She was red and screamin so loud I was sure someone would call the cops, "I can't believe you! What type of man turns down a fucking blowjob?! What's wrong with you?!"

Now I was seein red as I stalked right back and backed her up against the door…I didn't touch her but I screamed as the anger in me just boiled over, "What the fuck's wrong with _me_?! You're 22 years old…I'm fuckin 16! You're a fuckin grown ass woman and I'm a god damn kid! You've been beggin to suck my dick for two god damn months! What the fuck's wrong with _you_?! Ain't nothin wrong with me 'cept lettin fuckin whores like you make me feel bad and fuckin use me for your own personal fuck toys! I'm done with this shit!"

I reached out for the door knob and she pushed against my chest, "I swear to God, Jasper…if ya walk out that door, I'm gonna tell every…"

I cut her off and screamed again, "What?! You're gonna tell everyone that I didn't wanna let you suck my dick?! That you couldn't get me hard?! Tell anyone whatever the fuck ya wanna tell 'em…I don't give a fuck what any fuckin body thinks of me!"

I grabbed the door and swung it open as she screamed out, "You're a fuckin worthless bastard!"

I just yelled as I ran down the stairs, "Fuck off ya pathetic evil bitch!"

Once I got outta the apartment complex, I just started walkin down the street back home. It was dark as hell with no sounds but the crickets chirpin. It was real fuckin humid too and I found myself prayin for rain. It had only drizzled a couple times since I been here. I looked up at the clear midnight sky at the full white moon and thought back to when I hated the rain…

"_Five fuckin days in a row! Are you kiddin me? I hate the fuckin rain!" _

_Edward and I were walking back to his house after school. We were 14 and it had only been a couple months since we started our night time activities. It was pouring down hard and the sky was gray. We were both soaking wet._

_He smiled over at me with that cute crooked grin, "I love the rain."_

_I rolled my eyes, "Why on earth would ya like this shit, Eddie?"_

_He shrugged and looked up to the sky. He stopped and dropped his back pack as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Then with eyes still closed and facin towards the sky, he smiled, "It's cleansing…it washes away everything and makes it new…you get to just start all over and let the rain wash all the bad things away…I love the rain."_

_I watched him standing there, drenched in his chocolate t-shirt and blue jeans. His bronze hair clung to his forehead and cheeks, his cheeks were flushed and pink, and his lips were dark red. _

_God, he's really something…_

_Then he opened his eyes and looked at me, "Come on, Jay…I'm going to teach you how to enjoy the rain."_

_I raised an eyebrow as he started pulling his shoes off and rolling up his jeans. "What the hell are ya doin, Edward?"_

_He laughed, "Take your shoes off and roll up the bottom of your jeans to your knees."_

_I shook my head and laughed, "No fuckin way, man. C'mon let's just get to your nice, dry, warm house."_

_He looked up at me with those pretty green eyes and looked so fuckin hopeful as he whispered, "Please, Jay. Don't you trust me?"_

_I sighed, "God damn it, Edward…" and then I leaned over and started takin off my shoes and rollin up my jeans._

_He giggled and I smirked at him, "Just cuz you're all cute and shit don't mean I can't say no to ya, Eddie."_

_His cheeks turned redder and he smiled over at me, "You really think I'm cute?"_

_I just shook my head and laughed, "Fuckin adorable, Edward."_

_He looked away and bit his lip for a second, "Um…I think you're really cute too, Jay."_

_I smiled as I stood up now, "Yeah, well I am, so…"_

_He now laughed and shook his head, "So damn cocky…"_

_I smirked, "Ya know you love it."_

_He smiled and nodded, "Yeah…I really do."_

_We were by the woods close to his house. It was pretty secluded out here, especially on days like today. He grabbed my hand and pulled me off a little deeper in the woods until we were out of sight of the road._

"_What are we doin, Eddie?"_

_He smiled as he jumped in a puddle and splashed mud and water all over our legs, "Puddle jumping. Try it…it's fun."_

_I groaned, "I feel like a stupid kid!"_

_He laughed, "You are a stupid kid…now jump!"_

_He grabbed my hands and pulled me along as he ran through the mud and jumped along, splashin in each puddle on the forest floor. After awhile, I kinda started likin it too. We ran and just goofed off, playin around in the mud and water until we were covered._

_Then as he jumped in one, he slipped in the mud and fell, but he grabbed onto me and pulled me down on top of him._

_We were laughing hysterically as we laid there in the mud. But then…the atmosphere started changin a little and as I looked down into his dark green eyes…my heart started racin. Our faces were only a few inches from each other and I could feel his warm breath on my lips._

_His pretty bronze hair was caked in mud and clinging to his face, as my curls were dripping muddy water down onto his pink cheeks._

_We just stayed like that for a minute as the rain poured down all over us. When I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, I whispered, "Edward? Am I…um…am I only s'posed to kiss you in your bedroom? Cuz I really wanna kiss ya right now..."_

_He smiled as his blush got deeper. He reached up and wrapped his arms around my neck and his soft, smooth fingers curled into my hair, "Um...anytime you want, Jay. You can kiss me anytime you want."_

_I smiled widely and he flashed that little crooked grin. I leaned down and brushed my lips against his and I couldn't help myself from whispering, "You're more than cute, Edward…you're really kinda…beautiful."_

_Then I tugged on his lip with my teeth and tasted __**my **__beautiful boy. _

_And he was right, even though we were both caked in mud and lookin like two drowned house cats…I actually did feel kinda…new._

_I fuckin loved the rain…_

Eventually, I got to my house. My dad was sleepin on the couch so I crept to my room and finally passed out on the futon.

"Get up, fucker!"

I opened my eyes and groaned, "The fuck ya want, cuz?"

He looked upset bout something, "I wanna fuckin talk to you! Ya went home with that god damn slut last night, didn't ya?"

I pulled myself up to a sittin position and held my throbbin head in my hands, "Yeah, so?"

He sighed, "Jasper, what the hell are ya doin? Ya need to stay away from that god damn cougar! Ya don't know what that bitch has and…you're better than this shit, man."

He sat down next to me and took a deep breath, "I know we drink and smoke a lot round here, cuz…I know you're doin a bunch o'pills too. I'm worried bout ya. I do a lot of partyin too but not when I'm workin and shit. You was takin that shit to school with you…you've been changing a lot lately. You ain't like this, cuz…what's goin on? Is it that chick back in Washington?"

I closed my eyes and just whispered, "It's everything, man. I can't do this shit…I'm gonna end up just like my daddy…a god damn drunk…the apple don't fall from the fuckin tree."

He pulled out a cigarette and handed me one. He lit it and took a drag and as he exhaled he sighed, "I s'pose you're right…the apple don't fall from the tree…but after time, it _can _roll away, Jay. When the cops called your daddy and was talkin to him bout ya…I was there and I heard it all. Some cop named Jones was telling him bout how good you was doin up there in Washington. Said you hadn't gotten in no trouble for a long time…you was doin real good in school…and that you was stayin with a doctor who was takin real good care of ya. He practically begged your daddy to let ya stay…but Uncle Wayne's a hard nosed bastard who thought ya needed to be with your real family. I think you was better off where ya was."

I looked up at him a little surprised now, "Really? Jones did that?"

He nodded, "Yup…not all cops are pig nosed pricks…most of em but not all. Anyway, ya need to snap outta this shit, man. I ain't got much longer here to look after ya and I don't wanna have to worry."

"What are ya talkin bout, Jeremiah?"

He smiled, "Candace is gonna have a baby. We're gonna try and work shit out, ya know…make a real family. So…I joined the army. I'm leavin in three weeks."

My eyes got wide, "The fuckin army! You're leavin?!"

He nodded, "Yeah, Jay…time for this apple to roll away. Look, man…I gotta baby to worry bout now. If I stay here, the chances of me ever doin good by him are pretty fuckin low. I gotta get away from this place…it's fuckin toxic. I ain't got many options, cuz. The army seemed like the best one."

I took a deep breath…I hated to see him go. We had actually gotten real fuckin close and shit…without him here, I'd definitely go fuckin crazy.

But I couldn't deny him his chance at happiness so I smiled, "That's great, cuz. You're gonna be a daddy. The kid'll be one good lookin son of a gun."

He started laughin, "Damn right about that, cuz! Now go get your stankin ass in the shower! We got shit to do 'fore I leave."

I nodded and went to go shower. I stared at myself in the mirror again. I looked like shit…and I was tired of it. I thought back to Peter…fuck, I missed him…

"_Bullshit! Now I want you to listen to me, son, and listen good…you are a good boy. You deserve people to treat you right. But I see that wildfire in your eye, son. I have that same one…that wildfire in your eye tells me just how easily you can go one way or the other. I spent so much time in my youth believing that I wasn't worth nothing…so I acted like how they thought I would. I drank and ran wild and got into trouble at every turn because I believed my pa when he told me that I weren't no good. Don't you believe 'em, son. You are a good boy who can do good things and live one hell of a good life…but you gotta let all that bullshit go, Jasper. Anger…rage…hate…those things will consume you from the inside out if you let 'em. You gotta let it go, son. Just let it all go."_

I might've been a kid still, but it was bout time I became a man…a real man. I faced down that bitch last night and didn't cave in like I used to do. I needed to get my shit together. And fuck it, I needed Edward. I don't give a fuck what happened…Mr. Naper asked me what was worth fightin for…Edward's worth fightin for.

I had to get to Washington, had to see him and find out why he did what he did.

And I had to pray to God that there was some way we could work this shit out.

I took a long, hot shower and felt a little better when I was done. Me and Jeremiah walked over to his house and I ate some biscuits and gravy…the first real meal I had eaten since I got here.

I quit takin the pills, only drank beer and slowed down on it, and only smoked pot after 7pm…I figured that was a pretty good start.

I still needed to get a car but I didn't have enough money saved yet.

The next few days passed by and I actually felt a little better, even though some of the guys were givin me some shit, sayin I was tryin to go all clean and shit…fuckers.

It was Friday night and I had a show that night at the redneck bar. I drank a couple beers and smoked a joint, then cut myself off.

I loved playin here…this was my kinda place.

We began the set with 'Whistlin Dixie', I had on my old faded jeans that were all torn up, my black cowboy boots, black cowboy hat, and a black wife beater. I was lookin all good and I fuckin knew it…

I started on the guitar and stepped closer to the guitar with that cocky ass smirk on my face that I had kinda missed, "Yeah I like to run with the old dogs, learn bad habits from my pa pa, I got a in with the outlaws, and I can only sing like I talk ya'll…"

By the time I got to the chorus, I was wailing, "Cause I'm the son of the son of the south, daddy redneck, momma half hippie, taught how to talk straight not back, or my little white butt get a whippin, I like catfish cookin on a creek bank, kind you can't find in the city ya'll, I aint just whistlin Dixie…"

We played a few more and wrapped it up with the redneck staple, "Free Bird."

When we were done, I felt better than I had in a real long time. I was standin off the side of the stage, drinkin a bottle of water when I heard on the mic, "Um…hi, I'm Edward Cullen…"

_Holy fuckin mother of God…_

My head whipped around to see Edward…_my _Edward sittin on a barstool with a guitar in his lap. His hair was wild and his face was bright red.

_He's even more fuckin beautiful than I remembered…_

He cleared his throat and smiled while lookin out at the crowd who stared back at the boy who obviously didn't fit in at this place.

_I'll beat every mother fuckers ass in this whole god damn bar if they fuck with him…_

His crooked grin was in full effect, "Um…I know I don't exactly…um…fit in here but I paid the owner a shit load of money to get up here and play a song so…" he started laughing, "I guess you have no choice but to listen…mwah ha ha ha…"

The crowd started laughin and I was grinning ear to ear…

_Edward's here…he's really fuckin here…and the boy's got some balls of steel…_

He cleared his throat a little and smiled again, "Um…okay, so the love of my life…my very best friend…left a few months ago and I was kinda going through a rough time…"

He started laughin again, "Fuck it…I spent two and a half months locked up in a psychiatric facility. Don't worry though, I'm not going to flip out and try to take you all down, so you can relax…"

_That's why he was with Tommy…what the fuck happened to my baby boy…_

The crowd laughed again and he looked down for a minute before returning back to them, "The thing is…this person that I'm in love with…they think I did something that I didn't do…my phone was stolen and some jackass played a very mean prank…"

_Oh thank you God…fuckin thank you…he didn't cheat…he's still mine…_

Then he started laughing again, "I did, however, take _that _guy down. I did a lot of soul searching and faced my demons…well I told them they could fuck off and follow my happy ass all the way to Texas…"

I shook my head and laughed…Edward was different…but it was fuckin beautiful…

He cleared his throat again and sighed, "I wrote this song that I'm going to play and um…I'm not the best singer in the world but you'll just have to suffer through because…like I said, I paid the owner a shit load of money…"

Everyone was laughin again, it was easy to be smitten by Edward…

He smiled, "So, I guess what I'm tryin to say to this person is…"

He looked over at me with that beautiful crooked grin, "…I meant it when I said forever too."

I was tryin real hard and shit to keep the tears from comin…this was not the place to fuckin cry…

But my heart was racin and I couldn't stop smiling…

He spoke again, "This song is called Broken."

I leaned against the stage and watched my beautiful boy in awe…he was playin guitar and singin in his raspy sexy voice…

_I was tied, but now unbound  
My head is off the ground  
For a long time I was so weary  
Tired of the sound, I've heard before,  
The gnawing of the night time at the door,  
Haunted by the things I've made  
Stuck between the burning light and the dust shade.  
I said now I used to think the past was dead and gone,  
But I was wrong, so wrong, whatever makes you blind  
Must make you strong, make you strong,  
In my time I've melted into many forms  
From the day that I was born, I know that there's no place to hide  
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light,  
I was broken, For a long time, but It's over now._

Yes and you, and you,  
well you walk these lonely streets that people send, People send.  
There are some wounds that just can't mend, I do pretend, pretend,  
I am free from all the things that take my friends  
But I will stand here till the end, I know that I can take the moon,  
In between the burning shade and the fading light  
I was broken, for a long time, but It's over now  
I was broken, for a long time, but It's over now.

The crowd roared for him and he once again turned bright red as he laughed, "I cannot believe I just had the balls to do that. Um…thanks."

He hopped off the stool and waved once to the crowd as they cheered. Our eyes were fixed on one another's as he walked over to me.

He smiled shyly at me, "Hi, Jay."

I smiled back, "Hi, Eddie. C'mon." I turned around and made sure he was following me as we walked down the back of the stage and out the back door to the back of the building.

The second the door shut, I grabbed him and pinned him against the wall. There was no hesitation as my lips crashed to his and deepened the kiss instantly, tasting my baby boy again after the longest four months of my entire fuckin life.

He moaned into my mouth as his fingers gripped my hair and mine wrapped in those beautiful bronze locks. That moan did me in and I pushed myself into him hard as fire coursed through my veins.

He gasped, "Holy shit, you got your tongue pierced."

I smiled and ripped my shirt over my head, "That ain't all I got, Edward."

I turned around and showed him my back. He gasped as his fingers glided shakily along the ink and he whispered, "Wings…you've really got wings now."

I smiled at him over my shoulder, "Yeah, baby…that way ya know you're not crazy the next time ya see them."

He leaned over and kissed my shoulder blade gently as he whispered, "My angel…I missed you."

Goose bumps erupted all along my skin as I whispered, "I missed you too, darlin."

I turned back around and kissed him softly this time. I whispered against his perfect lips, "I love you so much, Edward. Thanks for comin and savin me."

He whispered back, "I love you too, Jasper. So much…"

And then, the door swung open and I quickly pulled away from Edward. We were both standin there flushed and pantin as I looked over at Jeremiah. He looked at the joint in his hand, then at us, then back at the joint, "Jesus Christ this is some strong shit…"

I couldn't help it as I started laughin hysterically…I was fuckin giddy, yeah I said it…fuckin giddy.

I shook my head, "No, cuz…I really was kissin him."

He looked at Edward for a minute and I was on guard cuz I loved Jeremiah but I would seriously fuck his shit up if he did something stupid towards Edward.

Then he broke out into a big grin, "You must be Edward."

I furrowed my brow, "How the hell did…"

He smirked, "Ya silly mother fucker, ya been sleepin at my house for damn near four months and ya talk about this boy every god damn night in your sleep."

Edward laughed and my mouth hung open, "Why didn't ya ever say anything?"

Jeremiah shrugged, "I dunno…didn't wanna make ya uncomfortable and shit…besides it's a little weird to me but ya know…whatever, we're family. Don't worry though, no one else ever heard ya and I ain't gonna tell no one. I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to say anything either. Ya know how this family is."

I nodded, "Yeah…thanks, man."

He smiled, "No problem. So, ya gonna introduce me ya rude ass bastard?"

I laughed, "Edward, this is my cousin Jeremiah. Jeremiah, this is my…boyfriend, Edward."

Edward smiled, "Nice to meet you, Jeremiah. You and Jay could almost pass for twins."

He smirked, "Yeah…he's a lucky son of a bitch to look like me."

Edward laughed, "You act alike too."

I just smiled at my beautiful boy, it was so good to see him laughin.

Jeremiah smiled, "So, where ya'll headed? I figured ya come here to drag this sorry son of a bitch back to Washington with ya."

And then reality hit me, "Edward…if I come up missin…the first place my dad'll look will be back in Forks."

Edward looked at me with that little evil grin, "Well, we don't have to go to Forks. Where do you want to go?"

I raised an eyebrow, "What'cha sayin, Eddie?"

He just shrugged, "I've got a whole lot of money, a brand new car, and a whole summer to kill. Let's just drive…see where we end up."

I shook my head, "Ya can't be serious…what about your mom and dad?"

He smiled, "I've talked to them and…they weren't happy but they understood. They just told me to check in with them twice a day and let them know where we were. Dad said he'd give me this summer because he knew how bad things have been for me…and because he knew he really had no other choice. So, I called Emmett. You remember his dad has that cabin out in Michigan? He said he'd overnight me the keys if we wanted to go there and stay awhile."

I looked at Edward and I was fuckin amazed, "We're gonna spend the whole summer together? In Michigan?"

He nodded, "Yep…oh, and um…I called Peter. He said that he's going to try and work out something with your dad while you're gone. He said that if he can get anything done, he'll call and let us know."

I couldn't stop myself from reaching over and kissing his pretty red lips. Jeremiah coughed, "Whoa! Hetero cuzin standin right here, dude! That shit's gonna take me a little getting used to."

I pulled away laughing and Edward was bright red.

Edward smiled at me, "Are you ready to go? We can swing by your place and pick your things up…I mean, if you haven't…um…you haven't found someone else have you? You still want to be with me, right?"

I smiled, "Yeah, darlin…you're all I've ever wanted…all I ever will want. Let's go get my shit…my dad shouldn't be there for awhile."

Jeremiah smiled, "Well, cuz…I ain't good at good byes and shit…so…just call me sometime. I know ya wanna break away from the family…but _we're_ cool, right?"

I smiled and pulled him into a one arm man hug, "Yeah, ya silly fucker, we're cool. Take care of yourself, man. When I get an address, I'll let ya know cuz I expect some letters from ya when you're halfway cross the world kickin ass, holdin it down for the Whitlock's and shit."

He laughed, "And I expect ya to use that fuckin dome of yours and graduate. Now, roll away little apple…"

We let go and he held out a hand to Edward, "Ya'll be safe."

Edward shook his hand and smiled, "We will, Jeremiah. It was nice to meet you."

He nodded and turned to me. He pulled out his wallet, "Here…take my license…ya can't get a motel room unless you're 18...trust me, I know, I used to try all the time. Ya look enough like me that it should work…just don't do nothin stupid and don't get in no trouble."

Edward sighed, "Yeah, I got a room last night, but only because my dad called and got it for me. I've been pretty much sleeping in the car."

I took it and put it in my wallet, "Thanks, man. I won't get in no trouble."

He smiled, "I know ya won't. Bye, cuz."

I smiled back, "Bye, cuz."

_I really was gonna miss that silly mother fucker…_

Edward smiled at me, "Come on, Jay. My car's around front."

I followed him around to the parking lot and laughed, "A silver, shiny Volvo!"

He furrowed his brows, "What? It gets great gas mileage and it has a ton of room and…fuck off, I like my Volvo."

I laughed as I held up my hands, "I'll back off the Volvo, man…"

We drove back to my house and he told me about what happened. My stomach churned and I felt so fuckin bad for what he went through. I can't believe I ever thought he'd give up on me.

I packed my stuff quickly and we were back in the car and on the road in no time. He had the moon roof open and the windows down cuz it was muggy as shit out here…still no rain.

My heart was beatin outta my chest and I couldn't keep the grin off my face. He let me drive this time and he looked over at me, "So, um…Jay? You haven't…_been _with anyone, have you?"

I shook my head, "No, baby…I ain't been with nobody."

His crooked grin and that crazy fuckin sex hair already had me hard as hell and I didn't know how much longer I could take 'fore I turned off at a motel…but I wanted to get outta town first.

He smiled, "So,…um…are you…are you ready, yet?"

I smiled back, "Yeah, darlin…I'm ready."


	27. Chapter 27

**Okay, sorry for the long delay but RL was kickin my ass sideways this week!**

**So, one of my lovely readers has nominated my lil' ole story for an award at the slashy awards. Here's the link, check it out and vote! There are some amazing slashy stories out there right now and a ton of categories…**

**http://www (dot) theslashawards (dot) blogspot(dot)com/?zx=3d9759cc75877fd9**

**Playlist: After Tonight by Justin Nozuka, Angel by Massive Attack**

**As always, there is a Playlist on my you tube and the link is on my profile.**

**One last thing, my girl, Philomina has drawn a few more pics of the boys…I plan on having one as my new avatar soon…Thanks, darlin, you fuckin rock!**

**Edward's POV**

I looked over at my angel boy's beautiful face as he graced me with that heart pounding, dick throbbing, head spinning dimpled grin, "Yeah, darlin…I'm ready."

I had been thinking about this…just sitting this close to him again for the last four months. Now that it was really happening, I could feel the crackling sparks of electricity and the thick cloud of desire in the air, enveloping me completely as I reached out my hand and brushed my fingertips along his thigh.

While it was somewhat difficult for me to be brave and bold…I had found that the rewards were exponentially worth the risk.

We had only kissed for a couple of minutes outside the bar before his cousin had walked out. We hadn't chanced any touching at his father's house so that we could just get his stuff and get out before his father got back home.

Walking into that house, the stench of alcohol assaulted my senses and once I harbored a look around, my stomach turned at the thought of how my beautiful, sweet Jay had been living these last few months. When I walked into his bedroom, I wanted to cry. It was as if he had been transported back in time to the first time he let me in his house.

And then when I saw him reach underneath his pillow and pull out the picture of all of us…my eyes did get teary. He slept with our picture underneath his pillow each night…God, I loved him.

He didn't have much but he grabbed a few things and we rushed out of there quickly. He asked if he could drive and I let him. It felt so good to see him smiling and happy…I would do everything within my power to make sure he always felt that way.

My thoughts were pulled back when I heard his breathing hitch and saw him twitch through his light denim jeans. My fingertips played lazily along the fabric climbing slowly higher and higher and then slower still inward. He looked different…still completely beautiful but his hair was slightly longer, extending just a bit past his chin, the sun had left rich gold and white highlights that lightened his honey hair even more, his skin had, once again, been kissed by the sun to a deep tan hue that made my mouth water for its warmth.

He looked over at me for a moment before returning his eyes to the road. The perfect dimpled grin had yet to leave his cheeks as he spoke softly, "I can't believe ya drove all the way to Texas, Edward. When I left, you could barely drive to McDonald's. Ya must've worked really hard. I just…can't believe you're really here."

I laughed quietly, "Yeah…it took a lot of practice to get good at the driving thing but…I _had _to get here. You thought…how could you think those things, Jasper? How could you think that I could possibly be with anyone else?"

I watched as he took a deep breath, and then he pulled off the main road onto an old dirt path.

"Where are we going, Jay?"

He sighed, "We need to talk, Edward. There's a small clearing up here and it's all secluded and shit…no one comes out here. We need to really talk and I don't wanna wait another couple hours 'fore we get outta town and to a motel."

My anxiety started to grow as we drove through the heavily wooded area. It was pitch black out here, in the middle of nowhere and I started to worry that maybe he hadn't told me something important that happened.

Eventually, we came to a small clearing, almost completely enclosed by tall, dark, full trees and brush.

He brought the car to a stop and turned off the engine. He turned in his seat and reached out for both of my hands. I started to calm down immediately under his touch. His calloused fingertips rubbed soft, soothing circles on the backs of my hands as he spoke quietly, "Edward…I wasn't in a very good place without you. I know that you've always thought of me as the strong one…but I think this all proves that you are, darlin. I mean, yeah, I can go out and whoop some ass all day long but …when it comes to you, Edward, to losing you…I'm not strong at all."

He shifted a little and took another breath, "I've spent the last few months so fucked up that I could barely function…if it wasn't for Jeremiah…I have no idea what shape I'd be in right now. He looked after me and made sure I made it home every night but…I just…fuck, Edward, I didn't _wanna _function without you. I fuckin fell apart. And when I couldn't reach you…and then that asshole told me bout you and Tommy…I was just so fucked up that I wasn't thinkin straight. You've changed so much…you're so strong, the way you've fought through everythin all by yourself just to come and save my sorry ass…I'm so sorry, Edward. You were sufferin so bad and I just fell apart…I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before whispering, "Jay, I wasn't alone…just because you weren't standing next to me…doesn't mean you weren't there. Miles may have separated us but we have _never _been apart…you're a part of me, just as I am of you…we were both going through hell…the important thing is that we made it out. I watched the show you put on and you weren't fucked up for it so you must not have been doing as bad as you think…"

He sighed and shook his head, "I just started gettin cleaned up this last week, Eddie. I was tryin to save up enough money to come back to you…back home. I needed to talk to you and even if you had been with someone else…I woulda tried to work things out anyway. I just…I can't be separated from you ever again, Edward. I just…can't."

I smiled softly at him and lifted my hand to brush my fingertips across his cheek. He sighed contently, closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. I reveled at the effect I still had on him. With me, he let his guard down…he showed his vulnerabilities…he was just…stunning.

"Jay? Can I ask you something?"

His eyes opened and he smiled at me, "Anything, baby."

I trailed my fingertips down his neck and across his shoulder, tracing the ink that began there, "Um…if you thought we were over…why did you get the tattoo? Why the wings?"

His eyes were hooded now and I felt the electricity begin to crackle and spark around us. He brought his hand up and clasped it around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. Our faces were mere inches apart as he looked at my lips then slowly back to my eyes. He whispered softly, "No one's ever called me an angel before…truth is, I liked it. I wanted to be your angel…be beautiful and good…and in my heart I knew…this thing between us, Edward…it ain't _ever _gonna be over."

My heart was racing as his eyes closed as his lips brushed mine. Our lips parted and the sweet honey of his breath washed over me as I breathed him in. Our tongues dances slowly, intertwined and needy for the other…his other hand came to my hip as his rough fingertips pushed up the fabric of my shirt gently to grip onto my skin and pull me closer still. The feel of the steel in his tongue sliding over mine was quickly making my pulse rise and my skin become heated and flushed.

My hand on his shoulder slid back up to the nape of his neck and my fingers found their home, wrapped tightly in golden curls. My other hand grasped onto his bicep and relished the feel of his heated skin beneath my fingertips.

He moaned softly into my mouth and the sparks began to burn hotter as his hand on my hip, slid tenderly across my stomach until reaching the button of my jeans and popping them open.

Now it was my turn to moan into the sweet, soft kiss that was rapidly picking up steam. Slowly, click by click, he pulled the zipper down. My hand on his bicep slid down to the bottom of his black wife beater and pushed it up over his tight stomach as I gingerly played with the button of his jeans.

I felt the corners of his mouth turn up and he broke from the kiss with a beautiful dimpled grin. I was breathing heavily and gasped out, "What? Why'd you stop?"

He whispered, "Push your seat all the way back and lay it down."

Breathlessly, I whispered, "Oh…okay."

I quickly pushed my seat back and laid it down as far as it could go. He grinned again and the magnificence in it caused my already shallow breathing to hitch once again as he climbed over the console, laughing softly at the awkwardness of bringing his long legs across it.

I giggled too because he looked so happy that my heart could barely stand it. Somehow he managed to position his body on top of mine, with his elbows by my head as he straddled my lap. I relished the feeling of having him close to me again…I would never tire of this feeling.

We both laughed for a moment and I wrapped my arms around his waist and played with the heated skin above his flawless…tushy.

His dimples were deep from the permanent smile that had been etched on his beautiful face. He sighed and whispered, "I missed ya, darlin…"

I brought one hand up to brush away the golden curls that had fallen over his baby blue eyes, "Missed you too, baby."

And then the beautiful dimpled grin, transformed into the sexy sly smirk that made my body react in very naughty ways. I was already straining against my partially opened jeans but then I whimpered when his velvet pink tongue slipped from between his plump lips and he traced that steel stud along my bottom lip.

His eyes closed as he hummed, "Mmm…I missed the way you taste…"

His hands slowly began unbuttoning my shirt as his tongue slid across my jaw and he began nipping it gently. My eyes closed at the feel of his hands and tongue along my skin. He pulled my shirt open as his lips attached to the crook of my neck, his tongue sliding against it and that steel ball hitting all the right pressure points.

_I wonder what that would feel like…down there?_

I groaned as he started rolling his hips against mine, feeling his thick hard cock rubbing against mine through our jeans.

_Skin…I need skin…_

The car was starting to get…heated. So, I slowly pushed up the sticky fabric of his shirt that clung to his strong back, enjoying the feel of his muscles underneath my fingertips and watching through the rear view mirror as the black ink became bit by bit revealed.

_How the hell is it possible that he's gotten even sexier…_

He lifted up his upper body as his lower body throbbed against my own. With that sly little smirk and oh so casually playing with that stud in his tongue, pulling and rubbing it against his lips and teeth…he lifted his arms so I could release his wings freely.

Again, I looked to the mirror so I could see the dark ink that began on his shoulder blades and spanned the entire area of his back, ending just above his ass and the tips of the wings slightly curved around to his perfect hips.

I was mesmerized as I watched them twitch and move with each muscle in his back…I took note of every scar that graced them, reminding me that my angel with his beautifully scarred wings was very real.

He must've noticed that I was staring at them because he laughed softly and turned to adjust the mirror so I could see better.

I could feel the blush reddening my cheeks as I broke free from the angelic vision and looked upon his smiling face. He grabbed my shirt and slid it over my shoulders as I lifted up for him to remove it.

I was sitting up now as he still straddled my lap. Once again, my eyes were drawn to the image in the mirror. He was up on his knees, bringing the center of his stomach to my lips as I kissed and sucked the taut, fiery flesh…savoring the taste of honey and a tinge of salt as I licked his glistening skin.

The windows of the Volvo were completely fogged up now, the humid night air was occasionally broken by a gentle breeze that drifted in from the open moon roof above us.

He had one hand wrapped around the back of my neck as his fingers twined in the hair there…his other hand was pressed palm up against the roof of the car. I squeezed his firm ass with both hands as I groaned against the honey blonde hairs that trailed down and disappeared into his low slung jeans.

As much as I hated to let go of his ass…I just had to taste his cock again…had to free it from the confines of those jeans that imprisoned it and kept it from me.

I brought my hands around and quickly pushed the button through and pulled the zipper down. I opened them eagerly as his long, thick cock sprang free.

_Fuck…I love it when he goes commando…_

I pushed his jeans down over his muscular hips and brought my hand underneath his balls to gently tug and roll them as he groaned.

I licked the tip of his beautiful cock and slid my tongue across the weeping slit. I looked up as his head fell back and he moaned loudly into the nighttime air.

Then his hooded midnight eyes came back to mine as he whispered, "Fuuuck…I missed your mouth…"

I smiled that crooked smile that I know he loves before engulfing him completely down my throat. His fingertips pressed into the roof of the car as his other hand grasped the hair at the nape of my neck.

I had missed the way he felt in my mouth…

I swallowed around him as I worked my way back up slowly, swirling my tongue around his hard shaft as I went. I sucked the soft skin of the head between my lips as my tongue traced around the swollen ridge.

He was moaning and began moving his hips to get himself deeper and deeper down my throat. Now I grabbed his taut ass cheeks with both hands and encouraged him to fuck my mouth.

I looked up at his dark blue eyes as his plump pink lips were twisted in the most delicious snarl. His golden curls were partially damp with sweat and his tight stomach was heaving in and out as he thrusted into my mouth with a wanton desperation.

The midnight sky was showcased above him from the moon roof, filled with thousands of bright stars and soft moonlight.

I hollowed out my cheeks and sucked his beautiful cock with vigor until my jaws were aching and my lips were swollen…but I still couldn't get enough of him.

His arm stiffened as he pushed against the roof of the car with his palm and his other fingers held firmly to my now sweat dampened hair.

He grunted with that sexy little snarl, "Ugh…fuuuuck, Edward…I'm gonna cum baby…"

I tightened my lips around him and hummed in anticipation until I felt his sticky honey hit the back of my throat. I swallowed his nectar with great appreciation, making sure to squeeze his length a few times with my hand so I could lick every sweet drop from the slit of his cock.

He collapsed on top of me, sweating and panting as his lips crashed to mine. His tongue explored my mouth fervently as both hands went to the sides of my jeans. He gripped them tightly and began pushing them down anxiously over my hips.

One of my hands held onto his back while the other wrapped forcefully in his dampened honey curls. I lifted my hips as he dragged my jeans and boxer briefs down my legs. I used my feet to kick them all the way off as we kissed passionately, filling the humid nighttime air with throaty moans and grunts.

His jeans were around his thighs, so I brought my feet up to start pushing them down. One of his hands grasped my waist and dug his rough fingertips into the heated flesh as his other hand helped me to get his jeans the rest of the way off.

My cock was throbbing and pulsing against his firm stomach. I felt myself growing light headed from the intense kiss as I needed to break away soon for air.

He must have been feeling it too because he pulled away with a gasp as his chest heaved and he whispered in a throaty, raspy voice, "Did'ja bring the lube, Edward?"

I nodded as I rasped out, "Yeah…glove box…"

He nodded and reached behind him, opening the glove box and retrieving the lube. He put it in my hand then tangled both hands in my hair as he whispered, "I'm ready _now_, darlin…make love to me, Edward…"

Then his lips were on mine again as our tongues danced frenzied and wild with one another. He shifted and guided us so that he was now on his back and I was on top of him.

The feel of his hard, slick skin against mine was driving me crazy. I wanted him…so bad…but I was a little scared too.

I broke from the kiss, gasping for air as I whispered, "Jay…are you sure? The hotel's only a couple hours away…"

His half lidded, azure eyes searched mine as his rough fingertips brushed the sweat, soaked hair from my forehead, "Yeah, Eddie…I need you now…I don't wanna wait another fuckin minute…please, baby…please make love to me, Edward…"

I moaned softly from those words…how I had longed to hear them…but still…I knew this was going to hurt him and that thought made my heart ache.

He seemed to sense my internal battle because the next thing I knew, he had turned over on his stomach, leaving me to gaze upon those beautifully scarred wings that stopped right before the dip that led to his beautiful perfect ass…

Then he turned his head and looked at me over his shoulder. His hooded eyes penetrated mine through damp golden curls as that sly smirk came to his lips. I gasped as I watched him run that steel stud across his bottom lip and he whispered, "C'mon, darlin…I'll let ya get me from behind…if ya want…"

My arms quickly slid underneath his chest as I pressed myself against his backside in a frenzied desire to get closer. I rolled his nipples between my fingers as I slid my rigid pulsating cock against his ass, up and down between the cheeks as my lips and tongue tasted the beautiful glistening skin along his shoulder blades.

His back arched as a breathless, "Edward…" escaped his pouty lips. My heart was racing frantically as I tasted his honey skin and ran my tongue along the black ink while holding his body firmly to mine as he writhed beneath me.

I loved his wings…but I needed to see his face as I made love to him for the very first time.

"Turn around, Jay…I need to see you, baby…" I panted out as I pulled myself up so he could turn over to gaze at me with his loving dark blue eyes that rivaled the midnight sky above us.

I leaned down and brushed my lips across his as I whispered, "Are you sure you want to do this, Jay? We can wait…"

He shook his head as his arms went around my neck and pulled me closer. Our slick hot bodies sliding against one another as his lips crushed mine with a desperate moan, "Now…"

How could I ever deny my angel?

As our tongues twisted and curled around each other's, I popped open the lube and squeezed some onto my fingers. Once they were slick and ready, I weaved his curls through my other fingers as my slick one circled his puckered hole.

Very gently, I pressed my finger into his opening and slowly worked it in and out. Once he was taking that easily, I slipped in the tip of another finger which earned me a small gasp as I began working the two together inside of him.

After a few minutes, he was writhing against them and rasped out, "More…"

I pulled away just enough to grab the lube with my free hand and apply more to my fingers, wanting to make sure to make this as pain free as possible.

I took a deep breath before taking his lips to mine again in an effort to keep his attention focused on the kiss and not on the discomfort he was about to feel.

Very slowly, I pressed the tip of a third finger into his slick hole as his head went back and his back arched. His face was scrunched up and I pulled my fingers out as I started to panic…

"Jay…I can't do this…I can't hurt you…I'll just stay a virgin…really, it's not a big deal…I just…can't hurt you…"

His hands went into my hair as he held my face and whispered, "Breathe, darlin…calm down…"

I took a deep breath as his rough fingertips ran lovingly through my damp hair. My knees were on the leather seat beneath me as his legs were wrapped around me and resting against the dashboard in front of us.

He whispered, "I love you, Edward…I know it's gonna hurt a little, darlin…but I want this, baby…please…please, Edward…I need this…"

I took another breath as I searched his hooded eyes. He looked so incredibly beautiful right now…glistening skin…pink pouty lips that were opened slightly as his breathing was shallow…flushed tan skin and damp golden curls…he was my angel…

I nodded slightly as I let out a breath I had been holding. I added even more lube to my fingers and he laughed softly, "Do you wanna lay somethin down? You're gonna get that crap all over your leather seats?"

I shook my head and ran my clean fingers across his forehead to push back the sweaty curls, "I don't care about these seats, Jay…I care about you. I love you, Jasper."

He smiled, "I know, baby…so let's christen this car properly, darlin…"

I smiled now as our lips came back together and new life was breathed into me. I could do this…and I would make it wonderful and good for him…I would love him thoroughly…show him what making love should feel like…

I repeated the process by sliding one finger into his puckered hole and working it for a minute before adding the second. By the time he was moving against those, I took another breath and attacked his lips as I slipped the third one in. I gave him a minute to adjust before I started moving them in and out slowly. After a few minutes, I began scissoring them like I had read about on the internet.

I did that for some time before I felt him twitch against my stomach. I pulled away from the kiss with a small gasp as I looked down and saw him hardening. He smiled at me and through ragged breaths whispered, "I think I'm ready, darlin…"

I smiled as I gently removed my fingers. I grabbed the lube again and poured some on my hand before gently coating his entrance. Then I poured some on my hard, aching shaft and started using my hand to get it covered completely.

Once we were ready, I took another deep breath and looked into his eyes as I lined myself up at his entrance.

With my free hand, I ran my fingers through his curls and whispered, "I'll go slow and when I think you're ready, I'll go deeper. If you ever want to stop, Jasper, just tell me to stop and I will, okay?"

He smiled, "That's almost exactly what I said to you the first time we kissed."

I smiled back, "I know, baby…that kiss changed my life."

He ran his fingers across my cheek and whispered, "I love you, Eddie."

I felt like my heart was about to burst as I whispered, "I love you too, Jay."

I took a deep breath and took his lips to mine gingerly as I gently began pressing into him. I gasped and squeezed my eyes closed at the tightness and heat that surrounded the head of my cock. It was…unreal…

His hands came to my hair again and crashed my lips back into his as he moaned into my mouth. I returned the moan as the kiss became very…heated.

I gave him a minute to adjust before very slowly, pushing in a little deeper. He gasped this time as he broke from the kiss and wrapped his arms around my neck. He pulled me to him and buried his face in my neck as he panted, "Oh holy fuck…"

I remembered what the internet said about slowly pushing in and out little by little and allowing time to adjust, so I slowly began moving my hips, bringing me out just a little before pushing in a little more.

My shoulders were trembling and I could feel the sweat rolling down my spine as I struggled to go slow. I had never felt anything like this before. His ass squeezed my cock so tight and hard and the feel of his heated flesh completely enveloping me was intensely…amazing.

He held onto me for dear life as I moved very slowly. I whispered, "You okay, Jay?"

He nodded against my shoulder and continued taking in short shallow breaths. Eventually he panted out, "Are you…all the way…in yet?"

I continued squeezing my eyes shut as I whispered into his ear, "No, baby…only about half way there…"

He took a sharp breath, "You big dicked mother fucker…"

I hated that this was hurting him so I quickly panted out, "I'm sorry, Jay…"

He pulled away and laid back against the seat. He was breathing heavily but a small smile came to his lips as he whispered, "Are you seriously apologizin for havin a big dick?"

I could feel my cheeks burning as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, "Um…yeah, I guess I am."

He laughed softly while still panting, "I fuckin love you, Edward."

I chuckled slightly and whispered, "I fucking love you too, Jasper."

He closed his eyes and took a big breath. He slowly exhaled and then whispered, "Rip the fuckin band aid off, Edward…just get it in."

I panted out, "You sure?"

He nodded and wrapped his arms back around me while burying his face back into my neck, "Yeah…I'm ready."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I whispered, "I'm sorry, love."

Then I pushed all the way in with one deep movement. We both gasped and he muttered a few choice cuss words into my neck.

I was panting heavily as I whispered, "Are you okay?"

He was breathing heavily too as his grip finally loosened a bit and he rasped out, "Yeah, baby…I'm okay…"

I started kissing his neck and ear as I whispered, "You feel so fucking good, Jay…I love you so much, baby…I won't move until you're ready…"

He bit my shoulder and whimpered, "Give me a minute, baby…"

I started sucking and kissing the juncture of his neck and shoulder because I know that drives him crazy. Then I reached down between us with my still slick hand and grasped his semi hard cock in my hand.

That earned me a loud moan as I started stroking him while I sucked on his sweet, salty skin. I stroked him firmly but gentle while swirling my thumb over his weeping slit.

After a few minutes, he was hard again and starting to move against me. He whispered, "Okay, darlin…I'm ready."

We held on tight to one another as I slowly pulled out about half way before pushing back into him. Fire coursed through my veins and I was completely surrounded by a misty haze of bliss. I couldn't see straight, it felt so good…

I moaned into his shoulder as I continued stroking his cock gently while moving slowly in and out of him.

He was holding onto me for dear life as his slick skin slid easily against mine. He was grunting softly and sucking in ragged breaths.

I lifted myself up on my hands and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. His golden curls were shaking with every stroke in and out of his heated flesh and his pretty pink lips were formed into that delicious sexy snarl that drives me crazy.

I lifted up on my knees and grabbed the lube again. I pulled almost all the way out before coating my cock again. I wanted to make sure this was the least painful it could possibly be for him.

I slowly began moving inside of him again, looking down and watching where we were finally connected in every way. I tried to control my ragged breathing as my hooded lust filled eyes were drawn upon the sight of my hard length sliding in and out of him. My body shuddered at the sight…

_Holy shit, I'm making love to Jasper…_

I couldn't help the crooked smile that came to my face as overwhelming happiness and love and devotion swept over me.

"See somethin ya like, darlin?"

My eyes were pulled up towards the sound of his honey voice. I was rewarded with that sexy, sly smirk as he reached down and began stroking his hard cock in his hand. I couldn't take much more as shots of electricity just ran through my body.

I grabbed his legs under the knees and shifted them on top pf my shoulders. Then I gripped his hips as I bent his knees down closer to his chest. I couldn't control myself as I began pushing into him a little harder and faster.

His head fell back and his eyes closed as a loud, long moan escaped his lips. I watched his dick twitch in his hand and I managed to rasp out, "Did I hit your magic spot, babe?"

He groaned, "Fuck yeah, baby…do it again…"

He was stroking himself furiously now as his other hand wrapped tightly in my hair and yanked my body down to his as he took me into a frenzied kiss. We kissed frantically as our slick, hot bodies worked against one another.

He pulled away with a gasp, "Harder, Eddie…_fuck_…"

And I was no longer in control of my body as I grasped his shoulders and just started driving myself into him. The sounds of my hips slamming into his ass and the feel of our sweaty sticky bodies against the leather seat was quickly bringing me to the edge of the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced.

He moaned out, "I'm so close, Edward…don't stop, baby…"

I held on tight to him as I struggled to keep myself from falling over the edge…

_Don't cum yet, Edward…he needs to cum first…think of…fuck…um…Bella's tits…okay, that bought me a minute or two…_

When I didn't think I could hold off any longer, he finally moaned loudly, "Fuck, baby…ugh…"

I felt his ass constrict even tighter around me as his orgasm came washing through him. I looked down and saw the thick white spurts of cum shooting between our bodies, only adding to the slick, sticky mess we had made.

That's all it took for me to finally give in…

My body trembled and shook as my stomach tightened and with one hard stroke, I finally came hard inside him.

I continued a few more strokes until I finally collapsed in top of him, eyes closed and sucking in shallow breaths.

My head was on his chest as I listened to his rapid heartbeat and felt his own ragged breathing. He wrapped his arms around my back and held on to me while we tried to calm our breathing down.

Eventually, I smiled up at him and he smiled down at me. I whispered, "That was…just…Jesus, Jay…want to do it again?"

He laughed as I raised up and finally slipped myself out of him, "I think you're gonna have to give me a little time, darlin…but…yeah, I definitely wanna do that again…soon."

He reached behind us and grabbed his wife beater, wiping us as clean as he could get us. He threw it back in the back seat and pulled me back into his arms. He scooted on his side a little so that we were lying side by side on the seat. He brushed his fingers through my hair as I traced the ink on his shoulder blades with my fingertips.

I whispered, "So…um…was it…ya know…was I any good at it?"

I could feel him smile against my cheek, "Yeah, darlin…you were…fuckin amazing…I ain't never felt nothin like that, baby."

I smiled against his neck as I kissed it softly, "Me neither…love you, Jay."

"Love you too, Eddie."

I felt my eyelids suddenly get very droopy and I yawned.

He laughed, "Okay, sugar…let's get ya dressed 'fore ya pass out."

I raised up and shook my head as I stifled another yawn, "I'm not going to pass out…"

He smirked at me as he reached down for my jeans and boxers. It took a few minutes to get dressed again since we were crammed in the front seat of a Volvo.

He climbed back into the driver's seat and I saw him cringe a couple times. I grabbed his hand and whispered, "Are you okay, Jay? Did it hurt really, really bad?"

He smiled over at me and I melted from those damn, sweet dimples of his, "I'm okay, Eddie. It hurt a little at first, but then…_fuck_, it felt real fuckin good. I'm a little sore but it's no big deal baby so please don't worry your pretty little head about it."

I nodded but still felt bad for causing him any pain. When we got to a hotel, I was going to make sure and pamper him properly.

I watched his beautifully tanned chest glisten in the moonlight as we pulled back onto the road. He was shirtless since we had used his as a wash cloth.

I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier as I watched him smoke a cigarette and drive.

Eventually, I fell asleep.

"Edward? Wake up, sleepin beauty…"

I sucked in a sharp breath as my eyes opened. I looked around for a minute before I focused on his beautiful baby blue eyes and his wide dimpled grin, "We're here."

I now looked around and saw that we were in a parking lot of an off road motel.

I stretched and yawned, "Let me get you some money for the room."

He smiled, "I already got it, babe."

I raised an eyebrow, "You have money?"

He smirked, "Yeah, I was workin a lot…savin money to get a car so I could come to Forks and boynap ya."

I smiled, "Well, I boynapped you first."

He nodded and yawned, "Yeah, you sure did, baby. Let's get our stuff…it's a little past 3 in the mornin…"

I rubbed my eyes as I suddenly realized, "Jasper?! I'm so sorry I fell asleep right after we made love…I can't believe I fell asleep…I'm such an ass…"

He chuckled and graced me with his trademark smirk, "Shit, baby…I'm the best piece of ass this side of Texas…I'd be offended if I didn't put your ass to sleep."

I smirked right back, "I can't argue with that." Then I noticed the smell of cheeseburgers, "Did you go through a drive-thru or something?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, I was starvin after all the sexin…I picked ya up a burger but you wouldn't wake up, so I ate it. You hungry?"

I shook my head and laughed, "No, I'm good babe."

We grabbed our bags and trudged to our room. Once we had all our bags set down, I went into the bathroom and started running a hot bath. I walked back into the room and saw Jay bending over his bag on the bed, pulling out sweatpants.

I walked up behind him and slipped my arms around his waist. I nuzzled my nose in his neck and breathed him in. He turned his head caught my lips in a soft, sweet kiss. I sighed, "Mmm…love you."

He smiled, "Love you too."

I held onto him and whispered, "I'm drawing you a hot bath…it might help with the…um…soreness."

He turned around and hooked his fingers into my belt loops, bringing my hips into his, "Thank you, darlin…wanna join me?"

I laughed and shook my head, "I don't think we'll both fit in the tub, Jay…it's not like the garden tub back home."

He just shrugged, "I'm sure we can make room…we'll just have to get…creative."

I smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him into the steamy bathroom. Once there, I helped him out of his clothes while we kissed tenderly…I just wanted to take care of him right now.

Once he was undressed, he sat down in the hot water and let out a long sigh. He pulled his knees up to his chin and rested his head against them. I sat on the edge of the tub and started lathering up a warm wash cloth.

Then I started washing his back, gently massaging as I went. He sighed again as his whole body just melted, "Mmm…that feels so good, Edward…"

I leaned down to his ear and whispered, "Good…it's supposed to."

He smiled as his eyes closed and he just let me rub him down. After awhile, I whispered, "Lay your head back, Jay…I'll wash your hair."

His lazy, happy smile was still full force as he leaned back on his hands and laid his head back. I grabbed a plastic cup from the sink and started getting his golden curls wet. I massaged the shampoo into his hair gently and he moaned so softly I almost didn't hear it. But I did notice him hardening in the water.

I smiled and whispered, "You like getting your hair washed, huh?"

He laughed softly as his cock twitched in the water, "Yeah…"

I continued rinsing his hair now and once it was done, he whispered, "Get in here with me, baby…"

I laughed, "I won't fit, Jay…"

He smirked as he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me into the tub on his lap. We were both laughing as I splashed him, "Dick! I'm still in my jeans!"

He quickly popped open the button of my now soaking jeans while he laughed, "Well, now darlin…that problem's easily fixed…"

We were still giggling as we peeled off my jeans and boxer briefs. I pulled my wet shirt over my head and tossed my sopping clothes on the floor. He was leaning against the back of the tub and I was curled up in his lap.

We laid like that for awhile until he began washing my body for me, just as I did his. He whispered, "Can I wash your hair, Edward?"

I smiled against his chest, "Sure, Jay."

I sat up between his legs as he used the cup to wash my hair. It felt so good to have his rough fingertips massaging my scalp. I mean…really good and soon I felt myself hardening from his simple touches.

He laughed softly as he ran his fingers through my hair to rinse the shampoo out, "Ah…I see you like gettin your hair washed too, huh?"

I smiled as my cheeks started to burn, "Um…yeah."

He set the cup down and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back against his chest. He leaned into my neck and whispered, "So…ya wanna find out what it feels like to get your dick sucked with a pierced tongue?"

His words went straight to my dick as I moaned, "Oh fuck yeah, Jasper…"

He kissed my neck softly and whispered, "Stand up, darlin."

I anxiously did as he said and turned around to stand. He looked up at me as he rose to his knees. I looked down at him as I braced myself against the shower wall.

His wet golden curls were pushed back revealing those penetrating cerulean eyes that made my body quiver. I watched in fascination as he grasped my hard cock in his wrinkled fingertips and stuck his tongue out.

He winked as he ran the steel stud across my weeping slit and I trembled as I held onto the wall. I groaned as his lips closed around the pulsing head of my cock and that stud swirled around the plump ridge.

He swallowed around me as he worked down further and further, running that stud alongside the throbbing vein on the underside. I bit my lip to stifle a loud moan as the steel hit all the right pressure points.

And the look of a wet, naked, tattooed, tongue pierced Jasper sucking my cock and gazing up at me with lust filled midnight eyes, quickly brought me to the edge.

It didn't take long for him to work his magical mouth on me before I was gripping his hair with one hand and the wall with the other as I moaned out, "Jasper…"

He swallowed hard around me until I was so weak in the knees that I had to use both hands to brace myself.

He smiled up at me once he released my cock from his beautiful lips, "Musta been good…I don't think you've ever gotten off that fast."

I smiled back and whispered through shallow breaths, "Un-fuckin-real, Jay."

He reached over and let the water out of the tub as I continued trying to see straight as I laid my head against my arms on the wall.

He grabbed our towels and handed me one. Once I could walk again, I dried myself off and he did the same. We decided to forgo clothing…I mean, really, what was the point anyway?

I was exhausted when we finally crawled into bed together. I curled up on his chest and easily fell asleep to the same rhythmic beat of his heart that had been my lullaby for years. I prayed that it always would be.


	28. Chapter 28

**Okay, forgot to mention this last chappy…anyone who is looking for a good, well written Carlisle/Edward fic, try Away From the Sun by Pace is the trick (in my faves)**

**BTW, I'm sure you've all heard that Mature FF stories are under attack! Therefore, I am moving my stories over to www (dot) rougefanfic(dot) ning(dot) com. I am posted under mistyhaze420. I will keep posting here until they take me down but I wanted to have a back up! Thanks scarletappy for the link!**

**And remember to vote at the slashy awards…http://www (dot) theslashawards (dot) blogspot(dot)com/?zx=3d9759cc75877fd9**

**Playlist : Animals by Nickelback and Daybreak by Snow Patrol (songs are on my you tube Playlist, link is on my profile.)**

**One last thing…if you are under 18...please…_please_…do not read this story!**

**Jasper's POV**

I laid there, my beautiful boy in my arms, fast asleep…

This was perfect. This was how I envisioned the rest of our lives. This was love.

_He came to Texas for me…he sang in a bar full of rednecks for me…he made love to me…real love, not fuckin…he cared when it hurt me…even if I was in a little pain, I had never felt so fuckin loved in my whole life._

_And yeah, it hurt like a son of a bitch at first…but all thoughts of pain quickly became lost at the sight of him…my beautiful bronze haired boy above me, eyes so full of love, slick, warm, hard body sliding along mine, velvet fingertips gripping onto me for dear life as the feelings of love, adoration, and devotion swirled around me and enveloped me like a protective bubble…_

_I may have the wings…but I was certain he was my angel._

_And I know the Volvo wasn't the most romantic location for his first time…but sittin there with him, talkin and sharin everything I had been feelin the last few months…God, I just needed to feel loved…needed to feel the way only he can make me feel._

_He had wanted to make love for months but I always said no…I just wanted to give him what he wanted…I would never ever deny him anything he ever asked of me again…I would do anything he ever wanted without a moment's hesitation…I would never say no._

_And I thought for a brief moment bout waitin for the motel…but then I thought, fuck it…carpe diem and all that shit…_

_Besides, I couldn't wait to see the breathtaking blush that would undoubtedly come to his perfect face every time he looked at that seat and remembered…_

_He would have this car a long time…a constant reminder of what we had shared together as opposed to rememberin back to some dumpy road side motel…I thought havin our first time in his first car was kinda perfect…_

_And fuck…it __**was **__fuckin perfect…_

_Once the pain subsided…I had never felt so…connected with anyone my whole life. Physically, once he hit my magic spot…the pleasure was intense and different and fuckin wonderful…but this was so much more than physical for me._

_I was givin him something that no one else could ever give him…his first time with a boy that loved him so much that sometimes it was hard to fuckin breathe…_

_When I saw him watchin the way he slid in and out of me with that beautiful crooked grin on his face…I just thought my heart was gonna fuckin explode…_

_I had to fight real fuckin hard to keep my eyes from gettin all teary and shit…I just couldn't understand how it was possible to love someone so much…_

He sighs in his sleep and throws his leg over my hip. His skin is hot and soft and…fuck…it feels so fuckin good against my body. His breath is warm against my chest and his silky hair tickles my neck. I turn my head slightly and breathe him in…

_Fuck…I missed this too…_

And right now, I'm scared to death to go to sleep…scared that I'm gonna wake up on that god damn futon, hung over and fuckin devastated cuz this is all a dream…

I tighten my embrace and hold him as close to me as I can. My eyes are burnin as I fight my sleep cuz I don't wanna lose this…if I _am _dreamin…I don't ever wanna wake up…

I feel my eyelids gettin heavier and heavier. And sleep finally takes me as I silently pray over and over again…

_Please let this be real…_

* * *

_Mmm…_

I groaned and ground my erection into the mattress below as I felt his warm, velvet tongue sliding feverishly along the ink on my back.

My whole body broke out in goose bumps from his hot breath and short fingernails scratching at my sides. I shuddered as his firm, muscular body descended further down mine…his thick cock sliding along my ass that instinctively lifted off the mattress to just feel him a little better.

He moaned my name softly against my shoulder blade and I just couldn't take anymore.

I turned my head and caught his lips in a searing kiss as our tongues entwined and we swallowed each others moans and grunts.

_He's really here…it wasn't a dream…_

That thought pushes me into a frenzied need to feel him again and I have no control of myself as I turn my body and wrap my arms around his waist, practically flingin him over so that his back is now on the bed and I'm on top.

He gasps from the sudden turn of events as his hands now tangle in my curls and my mouth goes to his neck. He moans a long low, "Fuuuck," as I lick and bite the juncture of his neck and shoulder as I grind my hard cock into his.

He untangles one hand that goes to my back and grips and scratches his short fingernails along my burnin skin.

I groan and bite him again as he growls out, "Oh fuck, Jay…bite me harder…"

So I continue diggin my teeth into the hot sweet flesh beneath me as he growls and his fingers dig into my skin.

He's now raising his hips to meet mine as his hand trails further down and squeezes my ass brutally, only encouraging me to thrust into him again.

I had one hand twisted through his wild hair and the other gripped his hip tightly, diggin into his taut heated flesh.

I quickly lifted up to my knees, pullin his head up with me by my grip at the nape of his neck.

_Thank God he likes it a little rough…_

I moan through shallow breaths, "Suck my dick, baby…"

He wastes no time in doin just that as his mouth plunges around my cock and moans around it. I groan my own long, low, "Fuuuck," as he takes me all the way down his throat until I feel his hot breath against my short curls, then he slowly drags his teeth very gently all the back up. His hooded green eyes never left mine as I watched. Then the little fucker winked at me and I nearly fuckin lost it.

_Fuck, I love it when he's kinky…_

I start rockin my hips as I grip his hair, fuckin his pretty red lips. His fingers are diggin into my ass, pushin me into his mouth all the more harder as his growls and grunts tease my throbbin cock that much more.

I'm in fuckin Heaven as I fuck his luscious mouth but right now…I'm feelin way too naughty to be in Heaven.

I reach over to the nightstand with my free hand and grab the lube from the drawer. I toss it on the bed next to him and he groans around my cock as his hard cock twitches against my thigh from where he's sittin.

He never loses a beat on the hellacious fuckin blow job he's givin me as he flips open the lube and squeezes some onto his fingers. I feel his slick finger rubbin around my hole and I grunt as I feel it slip in.

He quickly adds another and takes a little time fuckin me with his fingers as I rock back, takin them in my ass…then forward so he can take my cock down his throat. I'm fuckin engulfed in pleasure right now as he's stroking my magic spot and suckin my dick like a god damn cockaholic.

Then I feel a third finger slip in and a brief little shot of pain as he starts stretchin me out…but ain't nothin wrong with a little pain with your pleasure.

While he's fingerin my ass and suckin my cock…I grab the lube and squeeze some in my hand. I reach down and grasp his throbbin dick in my hand and began coatin it with the lube in long firm strokes. He's thrusting his hips up into my hand and drags his teeth up my cock again as he fuckin growls…

And I can't wait another god damn second…

His fingers slip outta me and I grab both his hands and throw him back against the mattress, pinning them above his head. He bucks up against me as he groans and my breathin hitches when I see my black cowboy hat hangin there on the bedpost.

I put his hands together and hold them at the wrists with one of my hands while my other reaches for the hat.

I pull it down over my curls and his eyes roll back as he moans, "Oh fucking hell…ride me cowboy…"

I lift up on my knees, stretchin my body out as I look down at his flushed face, red swollen lips slightly parted as he rakes in shallow breaths, his hands are diggin into my hips…and I flash him the dimpled grin that makes his cock twitch and I wink as I drawl out, "Yes, sir."

I reach behind me and grab his slick cock and position it at my entrance. I slowly start to push down and as it slips in, my eyes close and my moans match his.

Once the head's in, I use that hand to lean back on as I slowly start liftin myself up, then back down, takin a little more of his big dick in each time. I wrap my fingers around my hard cock now and start pumpin myself slowly to match my rhythm on his dick.

He's bitin his lip as he looks up at me through hooded emerald eyes and it's all I can do to keep from shootin my load right there at that look he's givin me. He's tremblin as he tries to keep his body still for me.

Finally, I feel his short hairs ticklin my ass and I moan at the feelin of havin him in me to the hilt. I take a minute to get used to the feelin cuz God knows Edward really is one big dicked mother fucker.

After a moment, I start slidin up and down over his throbbin cock and I'm reelin from how good he feels inside me.

_Who woulda ever thought I'd actually like takin it up the ass…_

Edward's grip on my hips hasn't lessened and his fingers are diggin into me as he starts slowly meetin my thrusts. His hard slick cock is throbbin inside of me and it only makes mine ache more. I continue pumpin my cock in my hand as he moans softly, "Oh fuck, Jasper…so fucking sexy…feels so damn good…ride that dick, baby…"

It doesn't take long until I'm seein stars and needin even more of him. The ride starts gettin a little wild as he hits my magic spot with his powerful thrust and I'm suddenly ridin him like he's a god damn bull.

He's moanin and fuckin growlin as his knees come up behind my back to give him more leverage to pound up into me. He's fuckin me hard and I'm incoherent from the pure raw pleasure he's givin me.

I fall forward a little and grip his shoulders and just hang on as he fucks me into oblivion. I'm barely able to breathe, it feels so fuckin good for him to just fuckin own me like he is right now.

His motions still and my eyes snap open to see him pourin a little more lube in his hand and pullin his cock almost all the way out to coat it again.

He whispers, "I'm not hurting you, am I Jay?"

I can't help the wide dimpled grin that comes to my face…but still unable to form a sentence or anythin beyond a grunt or moan…I give him a thumbs up.

He laughs quietly, "Well, good…you think you can break this stallion, cowboy?"

I take a deep breath and smirk before grabbing his sticky hands and pinnin them above his head again. I lean down into his neck and nibble on his earlobe as I whisper, "First rule of the rodeo…the cowboy's in charge, darlin."

I bite his neck as he moans out and thrusts back up into me. I use my grip on his hands as leverage as I start movin up and down hard on his cock, slammin myself down into his hips over and over again while I keep him pinned beneath me.

He's moanin and gruntin and screamin out curse words every few seconds. My cock is now trapped between our hard, sweaty stomachs and the intense friction is only causin me to ride him harder to feel it more.

His dick is throbbin and pulsin inside of me as he keeps hittin that sweet spot over and over until my abdomen is twistin and burnin for release.

I watch his beautiful face in complete ecstasy as he growls out, "Fucking cumming…holy shit…fuck…fuck…oh fuck…"

I can feel the warm wetness as he comes deep inside of me and that's all it takes as I moan, "Edward…god damn…oh fuck…" and I cum thick and heavy between our stomachs.

I collapse on top of him and we're both suckin in sharp breaths as our sticky stomachs rise and fall together.

He wraps his arms around my waist and squeezes me tightly. My head is on his chest as I listen to the rapid heart beat slow little by little. He reaches up and pulls my cowboy hat off and hangs it back on the bed post. Then he starts runnin his soft fingers through my curls as I sigh and curl up into him.

He whispers sleepily, "Love you, Jay…"

I mumble back, "Love you, Eddie…" as my heavy eyelids close and sleep takes me again.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open only to wince back shut at the light pourin in from the window. The blinds were cracked open and the sunlight flooded into the room and lit up my beautiful boy's perfect sleepin face. I just laid there for awhile and watched him sleep with my head still restin on his chest. The soft beat of his heart and the warmth of his soft skin felt so good on mine.

I was pulled from my Edward watchin when his phone rang on the night stand. I reached over and grabbed it, "Hello?"

"Jasper? Son, is that you?"

I smiled as I sat up in bed and lit a cigarette, "Yeah, Carlisle, it's me."

He spoke quickly, "Are you okay, son? Did anything happen to you? No one hurt you, did they?"

I laughed softly, "No, Daddy C…I'm alright."

He let out a deep sigh, "Oh, thank God…"

And then he started yellin, "JESUS CHRIST JASPER! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, NOT CALLING ME?! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE BEEN?! I HIRED A DAMN PRIVATE EYE TO TRY AND FIND YOU…"

I pulled the phone away and winced as he kept yellin. Edward must've heard the yellin cuz his eyes shot open and he looked over at me.

Then he smiled and whispered, "Don't worry, he yelled at me like that too when he found out I left in the middle of the night to come get you."

Once the yellin stopped, I put the phone back to my ear and took a deep breath. I felt really bad for makin them worry like that. I was such a dick sometimes.

I sighed, "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I wasn't thinkin real clear and I fucked up…I'm really sorry."

He sighed now, "It's okay, son…I'm sorry for yelling…well, no I'm not, you deserved that. I think I just needed to get it out of my system. So, are you really okay? Is there anything you need?"

I smiled as I looked down at Edward who was now curled into my chest, "No, I've got everythin I need. Thank you for lettin Edward come for me. I really am sorry for puttin you through so much."

He chuckled a little into the phone, "Letting, my ass…I didn't _let _him do anything. I woke up to a phone call from him stating that he was in Oregon. I tried to get him to stop so we could go together but he was adamant that you needed him and nothing was going to stop him. I'm really glad he found you, son. We've missed you terribly."

My eyes started tearin up a little, "I missed ya'll too. A whole lot. I did need him…I still do."

He sighed, "I know you do, son. Well, the hospital is paging me so I have to go…but you boys _will _call me at least twice a day to check in…and Esme wants postcards. I'm trusting you both with a great deal and I expect that you won't let me down. I'm giving you this summer because I know you both need it and quite frankly…I don't think you'd give it up even if I asked. So, be careful, take care of each other, and be safe, son."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "We will, Daddy C. Thank you. Tell Esme I'm sorry for makin her worry and I love her."

"I will, son. I love you."

My voice cracked a little as I cleared my throat, "Love you too, Carlisle."

I hung up the phone and wiped the wetness from my eyes with the back of my hand. Edward looked up from where he was curled into my chest and smiled, "Good morning, Love."

I smiled back through blurry eyes, "Mornin, darlin."

He reached up and brushed his lips against mine as he whispered, "Don't worry, Jay, things are going to start getting a whole lot better for you. I promise."

And I knew he was right. Despite all the fucked up shit that has happened the last few years, my life had been a hundred times better since I talked to the cute little green eyed boy that walked by with tears in his eyes.

_Thank fuckin God I talked to him that day…_

We kissed a soft sweet morning kiss before he pulled away with a content sigh. He raised his soft fingertips and brushed away the last of the wetness from the corners of my eye and smiled, "Love you, Jay."

I took his hand gently in mine and kissed his palm, "Love you, Edward."

He smiled for a moment before the corners of his mouth turned down and a look of sorrow came across his face. I furrowed my brows, "What's wrong, baby?"

He sighed and sat up next to me. He pulled his knees to his chest as the blanket draped over them. Then he laid his head down on his knees and looked over at me, "Um…I didn't want to have to tell you this but I think I have too…"

My heart dropped, "What is it, Edward?"

He took a deep breath before whispering, "It's…um…Charlotte."

Now my heart was racin, "Is she okay? What's wrong?"

He just shook his head softly and whispered, "I'm afraid she's not doing well, Jay. The doctors are saying she will be gone in a matter of days. I'm so sorry."

And the tears came back, "Fuck…I ain't gonna get to see her 'fore she passes. Peter ain't gonna have no one with him. Damn it, I fucked up so bad, Edward."

He pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried softly, "Jasper, Peter's doing okay. I spent a lot of time with him this last month and he really is going to be okay. Mom and dad will be with him. Emmett, Brady, and Tommy have been helping him out some too…driving him to his doctor's appointments and doing some work around the house for him. Alice, Rose, and Jane have been cooking and helping out with the cleaning around his place. We all know how much he means to you, Jay…we're all taking care of him so please don't worry."

I didn't deserve to have such good people in my life…but I was really fuckin thankful for them.

I sniffled as I held onto him, "Edward? I didn't see my granny 'fore she died either. I feel so fuckin bad. I don't wanna lose her too without sayin good bye."

He wiped the tears from my eyes again and I felt bad for breakin down on him but again, I was really thankful that he was strong enough to be there for me when I fell apart.

"Why don't you call her, Jay? You could say your good byes on the phone."

I took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah, that's a good idea."

He handed me the phone and I hit the speed dial for Peter. I cleared my throat and sniffled one last time before I heard, "Hello?"

"Hey Peter…it's Jasper."

I heard him chuckle and it immediately brought a smile to my face, "Well hey there, stranger! How the hell ya doin, son?"

I smiled, "I'm good, Peter…I mean, I was doin pretty bad but Edward came and got me last night so I'm a hell of a lot better today."

He chuckled again, "He took my advice, huh? Smart feller ya got there, son…can't fish worth a damn but a damn smart boy."

I laughed now, "You took Edward fishin?"

He laughed, "Yup…he tried his best, son…he tried his best."

I giggled as Edward rolled his eyes and whispered, "It was gross…I had to touch creepy crawly things…and fish. Ick!"

I smiled as he shuddered.

I sighed a little as I spoke quietly, "Hey Peter? You doin okay?"

He took a sharp breath before speakin, "I reckon Edward told ya bout Charlotte?"

"Yeah, he did."

He sighed and I could hear the sadness as he spoke, even if he was puttin up a brave façade, "I'm alright, son. Your buddies been comin round here a bunch, helping me out. Good bunch of friends ya got there. I reckon I ain't got too much longer fore I get to join her so that makes me feel a lil' better. I sure am gonna miss her, son."

And my fuckin eyes started tearin up again…

_Fuck, how many fuckin times am I gonna cry today…this is bullshit…_

I took a sharp breath and tried to keep myself together, "Do ya think…is she able to talk at all, Peter? Could I talk to her for just a minute? I really wanna…um…tell her I love her and I'm sorry for not bein there."

Edward's arms were back around me now as I snuggled into his chest again and he played with my curls.

"She can talk, son…the thing is…she may not 'member who ya are. Hell, she don't know who I am half the time anymore. She gets confused a lot now and sometimes doesn't make a whole lotta sense. I'll let ya talk to her, son…I just wanted to give ya fair warnin."

I took another breath, "Thanks, Peter. I understand and I'll keep it short."

"Take as long as ya need, son."

I heard some shuffling and then heard him in the background speakin to her, "Hey there, baby girl…got someone on the phone who's been wantin to talk to ya…ya feel up to it today, darlin?"

I heard her weak voice and my heart fuckin ached, "Hello?"

I cleared my throat and spoke quietly, "Charlotte…it's Ja…"

"Oh my goodness, grace, and glory! Nathan! Is that you, baby boy?"

She thought I was her son who died over twenty years ago in the war. I knew how badly she missed him and if I could give her just a little comfort by pretendin to be him…then that's what I was gonna do.

My voice broke a little and Edward held onto me tighter, "Yeah, mama…it's me."

She laughed a small weak laugh and I could hear the smile in her voice, "Well, I'll be…how come ya ain't been round much lately, son? Ya got a purdy lil' thang keeping ya all tied up?"

I chuckled a little and started to speak when she interrupted, "Oh, hell, son…I forgot all about you bein out of the country! Ya keeping safe over there, baby?"

I sniffled, "Yeah, mama…I'm bein real safe so dont'cha worry bout me. And I do have a real purdy lil' thang that keeps me busy, mama. Matter fact…I plan on gettin married in a few years."

She sounded so excited as she spoke and my heart was breakin, "Oh I'm so happy for ya, sugar! You've always been such a good boy…I hope ya know ya make yer mama so proud."

I squeezed my eyes shut, "I know, mama…you and daddy make me real proud too. I miss ya, mama."

She chuckles again as her strained voice speaks, "I miss you too, baby. Hey, you 'member that party ya threw for yer daddy and me a few years back? Ya played us some music and we danced. I ain't danced like that in a dog's age, son. Them was good times, baby…"

_She did remember me…maybe not me exactly cuz she thought I was Nathan but she remembered the party Edward and I threw for them…that has to mean something, right?_

I chuckled a little through quiet tears, "Yeah, that was a whole lotta fun, mama. Wish I could be there with ya…"

She sighed, "Now don't ya go on worryin bout me, son. I ain't afraid, baby boy…I'm all decked out in my best dress…some lil' fairy lookin girl and a couple of purdy young blondes came over…did my hair and helped me with my make up…Yer mama's lookin good, baby. I'm all ready to go on up high now."

I was cryin now but I did my best to maintain my voice, "That's real good, mama…you always were a beauty. I love you."

She was smiling again, I could hear it, "I love you too, baby boy. Now, take care of yer daddy for me…I reckon he's gonna be a right mess without me keepin him in line. And one day, when ya get married and have me some granbabies…tell 'em bout me…tell 'em that I'll be watchin over them from up yonder. I love you so much, son. Bye bye, baby."

I wiped my eyes that stung with tears, "I will, mama. I'll take care of everythin…I love you more than you'll ever know. Good bye, mama."

I was cryin hard now into Edward's chest and he took the phone from me. My mind was goin a hundred miles a minute with thoughts bout how I should be there for them right now…how badly I fucked everythin up…bout my granny and how she died 'fore I could ever say good bye to her…bout how she probably worried herself sick over me until her last breath…

I heard Edward speakin to Peter…telling him to call us at anytime if he ever needed to talk or anything at all. He was natured so much like Carlisle…he really was gonna be a wonderful husband someday…and maybe a daddy too…

He hung up the phone and held me until I could pull myself together again. Eventually, I pulled away and wiped the last of the tears away. I could feel my cheeks burnin now at the thought that I had just spent the first hour of our mornin cryin like a god damn baby in front of Edward.

His silky fingertips ran across my jaw to my chin, liftin it gently to look at him. His pretty red lips turned up into a soft breath taking smile, "Hey…don't ever be embarrassed for crying in front of me, Jasper. I know that you're tough as nails…but I also know that every emotion you have…you feel with everything you have. When you love, you love deeply and when you hurt, it cuts like a knife. I've cried on you more times than I can even remember…you can cry on me anytime you need to, love."

I couldn't help but smile back and whisper, "Thanks, Edward."

He nodded, "Anytime, Jasper."

As we finally crawled outta bed around noon, we were both crusty and sticky and had to get cleaned up from our night time activities…which were fuckin amazing, by the way.

We fooled around a little more in the shower but were both starving and I knew Edward needed to eat before he could take his medicine. So, once we finished dressin and packin up our stuff, we loaded everythin into the car and took off for a diner we had passed last night for a late breakfast.

I ordered biscuits and gravy, bacon and scrambled eggs, grits and pancakes along with a cup of coffee…black.

Edward raised an eyebrow and I just shrugged, "I'm a growin boy, Edward…besides, I'm sure you can help me think of a way to work it all off later."

He smiled and that beautiful blush came to his cheeks. And then he surprised the hell outta me.

He leaned over the table and right in front of the waitress and everyone in God's creation, his lips puckered and brushed across mine.

I didn't even kiss him back, I was so shocked. He smirked and whispered, "Eat well, love…I plan on working you out thoroughly later tonight."

My mouth hung open and so did the waitress'. Then he sat down casually, like nothing ever happened and smiled up at her, "Um…I'll have French toast and a glass of orange juice, please."

She shook her head slightly to break out of her daze and mumbled, "Uh…okay, I'll be right back with your order."

She turned on her heels and left abruptly and Edward laughed, "She seemed a little weirded out by something."

I was still in shock but managed to speak, "Edward? You just kissed me. In public. Without me coaxin you into it."

His beautiful smile softened as he reached across the table and took my hand in his. He sighed as his velvet fingertips brushed across my knuckles, "Jay, I just spent the last four months wondering if I would ever have the chance to kiss you again…to hold you…to feel your body next to mine. I really don't care what anyone thinks anymore…I will never feel weird or strange for showing everyone just how much I love you because, for me, loving you is the most natural thing in the world. I've always felt like a freak, Jasper…but now, I don't. Yeah, I'm a little crazy sometimes but you once told me that everyone is fucked up, just some people hide it better. I don't want to hide anymore. I'm proud to be with you…proud that you love me. I'm proud to be me, crazy and all and that's because of you. I love you, Jay."

_Well, fuckin hell, am I gonna cry at every fuckin thing today? It's like I'm a god damn girl who just got her fuckin period. Jesus H. Christ, Jasper…get a fuckin grip…_

He handed me a napkin and I wiped my eyes quickly and fought back the fuckin emotional train wreck of emotions that had been crashin through me today.

I sniffled once and smiled back at him, "I love you too, Eddie."

Then I thought…

_Fuck it…_

I leaned across the table and wrapped my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, crashin his lips to mine. I brushed my tongue across his bottom lip and they easily parted for me. We both moaned softly into the kiss as I relished the taste of my beautiful boy.

Then we heard someone clear their throat, so I pulled away to see the waitress standing there starin at us with two plates in her hands. She smiled as her whole face turned scarlet, "Uh…sorry, but…um…ready to eat?"

We both chuckled as I pulled back away and sat down. We started eatin and I was fuckin starvin so it didn't take me long to finish off everythin. I sat there and drank my coffee as I watched Edward take his time with his meal.

I smiled at him, "So, Eddie? This means I can kiss ya anytime I want now, right? Anywhere?"

He laughed and nodded, "Yes, Jay…anytime, anywhere."

Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear as goose bumps broke across my body from his sexy voice, "You have no idea how hard it is for me to not bend you over this table and fuck you senseless…"

Now I gasped a little and I could feel my cheeks turnin red. He pulled back with that fuckhot crooked grin, "You know, that blush on your cheeks is really quite breathtaking."

I rolled my eyes and laughed as I took another sip of my coffee and muttered, "Cocky fucker…"

When we were finished with breakfast, we headed back to the car. Edward tossed me the keys, "Want to drive, Jay?"

I nodded, "Sure, darlin." We got in the car and I lit up a cigarette once we rolled down all the windows. I turned on the car and just sat there for a moment.

Edward furrowed his brows, "What's wrong, love?"

My mind was racin again from the conversation I had with Charlotte earlier.

I turned in my seat and looked at me pretty green eyed boy. I chewed on my lip for a moment before talkin, "Hey Edward?"

He looked concerned as he reached over and brushed the curls away that had fallen over my eyes, "What is it, angel?"

I took a deep breath and whispered, "What if my mama was lyin bout my granny? I mean, it ain't like it's out of mama's character or anything. What if she's been alive all this time and worried sick about me?"

I knew he understood just by the look in his eyes. He smiled softly, "Do you remember where she lives, Jasper? We can go there, if you want."

I smiled, "Yeah, it's only a couple hours from here. Ya sure ya don't mind?"

He shook his head, "Of course not, babe. We've got all the time in the world. Besides, I'd love to see where you lived as a child."

I was nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. I really hoped that she was still alive and mama had just been lyin to me.

We got in the car and started drivin. We chatted along the way about everything that had happened the last few months. I damn near swerved off the road when I found out he was put into the psych unit after an overdose. My heart felt like it was gonna break in two. My first thought was that he tried to…I can't even say what I thought. But then he told me it was an accident and he had just gotten confused. That scared me too but it made me feel better than the alternative.

I told him about Kaycee and he was a little upset but I told him that I never even kissed her. He got past it and was thankful that I stopped before things went too far.

He sighed as he looked out the window, "Hey Jay? I noticed some new scars on your back…"

I groaned internally, "Uh yeah…from one of me and my dad's fights…he…um…threw me down onto the coffee table and it broke. It's alright, though…I got him pretty good that night too. I finally learned to stick and move until he backed me into a corner I couldn't get out of."

He took a sharp breath before muttering under his breath, "Fucking bastard…"

I reached over and grabbed his hand, "Hey…I'm okay, Edward. He never went too far or anything…it was always just cuts and bruises…"

His eyes flashed over to me and I actually shuddered from the look of anger in them, "Never went too far? Are you kidding me? He should have never put his hands on you! He has no fucking right to touch you!"

I cringed a little and his eyes immediately softened, "I'm sorry, Jasper. I shouldn't have yelled. I just…I can't bear the thought of anyone hurting you."

I smiled softly at him, "I know ya can't, darlin. He ain't gonna hurt me no more. You saved me, remember?"

He smiled, "We saved each other, Jay."

The rest of the drive there was good cuz we just talked about random shit and sang along to the radio. Once I started pullin down that old dirt road, my heart started racin.

He squeezed my hand a little tighter as the house came into sight. It was just like I remembered. The old white house was worn down some, just like always but the land was beautiful. The old stables in the back still stood but appeared to be empty. Flowers surrounded the front porch in bright, vivid colors. Even the old porch swing was there that granny and I used to rock on when it rained. We loved the sound of the rain fallin down and I'd usually fall asleep in her lap.

I put the car in park and turned it off. I took a deep breath and tried to get my bearings before I could actually gain the nerve to get out of the car.

Edward put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, "It's going to be okay, love. I'll be right by your side."

I put my hand over top his and whispered, "I don't know if I can do this…"

His fingers held my chin and turned my face to his. His green eyes were soft and filled with love as he spoke, "You can do this, Jay. You can do anything. You're not alone, angel."

I nodded and took another breath before smiling as best I could, "Thanks, Edward. I love you."

"I love you too, Jasper."

We got outta the car and walked up the drive. I had to take another deep breath before walkin up the old porch steps. Edward stayed beside me, brushing his arm against mine to remind me that he was there.

I took one more deep breath before raising my hand and knockin on the door.

I heard some rustlin and held my breath now as the door opened.

My heart sank at the sight of the young woman who answered.

"Can I help you, boys?"

I nodded, "Yes, ma'am. Um…I'm lookin for a woman that used to live here a long time ago. Her name was Maggie Lou Thomas. Would you know where I could find her?"

The woman's face fell and my heart hurt, "I'm sorry, son. Maggie Lou passed away bout 6 years ago."

Edward's hand was on my shoulder, squeezing it softly.

I sighed and started to turn away, "Sorry to waste your time, ma'am."

She gave me kind of a strange look before callin out, "Wait!

I turned back around as she walked up to me, starin at me all weird and shit.

She finally smiled, "You're Linda's boy. I'd recognize those baby blues and that mop of blond curls anywhere."

My breath caught in my throat a little as I was caught off guard, "Uh…yes, ma'am. You know my mama?"

She sighed, "I do…well, did. We were best friends growin up…sang in the church choir together, girl scouts…I practically grew up in this house till I was 12 years old."

I just shook my head and scoffed, "No offense, but that don't sound nothing like my mama…I think you're mistaken."

I started to turn away when she called out, "Your mama wasn't always bad, Jasper!"

I took a breath and turned back around, "Yeah, well my mama's in prison at the moment but I'll be sure to tell her that she has at least one fan girl rootin for her."

She sighed and Edward put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from turnin away again, "Jasper, maybe she can tell us where Maggie's grave is, so we can go show our proper respect?"

I looked at the woman who stared at me. She was young, early thirties probably…my mama was only 31.

She approached me cautiously this time and spoke softly, "Jasper? I know your mama has done some God awful things…but people aren't born with that kinda meanness in them, son. Haven't ya ever wondered why your mama is the way she is?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

I shook my head and she spoke quietly again, "Well, I bought this house after your gran mama passed…she left some things for you…she was certain you'd come back lookin for her one day. I'd like to tell ya the whole story, if ya want? You're, what, about 16, now…you're old enough to hear the truth."

Edward was standin by my side again and I felt his fingers ghost across mine, providing me as much comfort as he could. At this point, I didn't care what this woman thought about me so I grasped his hand in mine.

His fingers clenched mine tightly and the woman had a surprised look on her face for just a moment before smiling again, "I haven't even introduced myself…my name's Bobbi Sue Haley."

Edward spoke as he held out his hand, "Edward Cullen, ma'am. Nice to make your acquaintance."

She took his hand and fuckin blushed, "Well aren't you the proper little thing? I take it…you're a…_good _friend of Jasper's?"

He nodded with that crooked grin as his hand grabbed mine again, "_Very _good friend, ma'am."

I laughed a little at the look on her face as she just fanned herself with her hand and blushed deeper, "Well, well, well…that's not something ya see everyday round these parts…mind you, I don't care bout that. I think what people do in their bedrooms is between them and God…I stay out of it…anyway, won't ya'll come in for a bit? I was just makin some sandwiches and lemonade for my baby girls birthday party tonight, but I got a few hours till I gotta get it all done."

I didn't say anything…I still wasn't sure if I trusted her…but I was curious to see what my granny had left for me.

Edward looked at me, "It's your call, Jay. We can leave if you want to. If you want to stay, then I'll stay right by you. Whatever you want, love."

My heart was racin again…I wasn't sure I wanted to know the whole story…I didn't know if it would change anything…I wanted to be mad at my mama…I didn't wanna think of her as an innocent kid…but I'm not one for runnin and hidin...

I sighed, "We'll come in. Thank you, ma'am."

_Well, Edward started facin his demons…guess it's bout time I faced mine…_


	29. Chapter 29

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**Edward's POV**

Jasper's hand squeezed mine tight as he sighed, "We'll come in. Thank you, ma'am."

He was nervous, his grip was strong and his palm was sweaty. I wasn't sure what we were about to find out but I just wanted to make sure that whatever happened, Jasper knew he wasn't in this alone.

Bobbi Sue smiled and stepped out of the doorway, "Well, ya'll come on in…ya hungry? Like I said, I got sandwiches and lemonade."

I figured that eating might help Jay calm down a little so I spoke up, "Yes, ma'am, that would be very nice. Thank you."

She turned, "Come on in to the kitchen table, we can talk while ya eat."

Jasper shot me a glance with a small nervous smile and I grinned back, hoping it might help ease him a little. I held his hand and ran my thumb over his knuckle as I leaned into his ear and whispered, "I love you, Jasper."

He let out a breath he had been holding back and smiled back at me now with those dimples breaking through, "Love you, Edward."

He visibly relaxed a little so I took a moment to look around at his childhood home. The house was small but very cozy. I wondered if it had changed much at all in the ten years since he had been here.

We walked into the kitchen and he broke into a full out grin as his hands went to the kitchen table, "Hey, this is the same table granny had!"

Bobbi Sue laughed as she pulled out some cups for the lemonade, "It sure is, sweetie. Matter of fact, a lot of your gran mama's things are still here. Some of yours too."

He laughed and ducked his head under the table, "Look, Edward!"

I couldn't help but laugh at his child like enthusiasm…it was really wonderful to experience.

I ducked my head down and he grabbed my hand, "Ya gotta lie on the floor to appreciate it properly, darlin."

His laugh was contagious as he pulled the chairs away and slid underneath the table, pulling me with him.

I was still laughing when I looked up at the underside of the table. Then I gasped. It was covered in a drawing of angels…in markers and crayons. Very crude child like red angels, blue angels, green angels, a myriad of color…in the corner in blue marker was his scribble 'Jay Whitlock.'

He reached his hand up to brush his fingertips across the picture and he sighed, "When I was five, I wanted to be an artist. I gotta library book bout Michelangelo. I tried to recreate the Sistine Chapel."

_So beautiful…_

Now I tentatively reached up and brushed my fingertips across the wings of an angel with blue eyes, blonde hair…and golden wings. He smiled and whispered, "Look at this one, Eddie…it's like fuckin fate."

I looked to the one he was pointing too. The angel had dark reddish brown hair, big green eyes, and white wings. Granted, there were probably a hundred different angels on the bottom of this table but it was…pretty cool.

He laughed, "Hey, Ms. Haley?"

She was laughing too, "Call me, Bobbi, son."

"Bobbi, would ya mind too much if me and Edward signed the bottom of this table?"

She was still giggling as she leaned down and handed us a marker, "If ya want…I only really kept this table 'round cuz of you…when ya get a place for it, ya can have it."

He smiled a beautiful dimpled smile, "Really? That's real nice of ya. Thanks."

She nodded and went back to making us some sandwiches while Jasper signed his name under the angel I had pointed to and then he handed me the marker for me to sign under the angel he had pointed to.

We were still giggling when we finally came up from under the table. Bobbi Sue had placed our sandwiches and lemonade at the table and smiled, "Ya'll go ahead and get started…I'm gonna go grab the stuff I wanna show ya."

We nodded and said thanks as we started to dig into the club sandwiches she had made.

A few minutes later she returned with a big cardboard box. She set it down at Jasper's feet and his eyes lit up as he spoke with a mouth full of food, "Bear bear!"

He reached down and pulled out an old teddy bear with a missing eye and you could tell where the arms and legs had been sewn back on.

I giggled from his reaction as he hugged it to him and then he seemed to realize where he was as his face turned scarlet.

Bobbi Sue giggled, "Yep, there's your bear bear. I bet ya was downright heartbroken when it got left behind. Ya carried that thing 'round with ya, everywhere ya went."

Jasper's beautiful smile now faded into a deep frown as he studied the bear, "Yeah, I went to sleep with him that night…I woke up the next mornin in the back of some loser's car as him and mama were flyin down the highway. I cried all day and night cuz she left him."

My heart was breaking for my angel as his fingers ran gently across the old bear's tummy.

He sighed, "Granny got this for me the day I was born…"

Bobbi Sue interrupted, "No, son…your daddy got that for you the day you was born."

He shook his head, "No, granny told me _she _got it."

She sighed, "I'm sorry, Jasper. I was there the day you were born and your daddy bought this in the hospital gift shop."

He shook his head again, "Why would she lie? My granny wouldn't do that."

Bobbi sighed again as she pulled out an old photo album, "Jasper, are you sure you want to know what really happened all them years ago? I ain't sure if it's gonna really help you any, son. It's just the truth, nothin more."

He sat the bear back down and nodded, "Yeah, I wanna know."

She nodded and opened the album. There were several pictures on the first page of what I assumed to be of her and Linda as toddlers. Linda's blue eyes sparkled and her golden hair was long and wavy. She was a beautiful little girl.

She smiled, "Me and your mama grew up together, from the time we was babies. My mama and hers went to the same church and so they began makin play dates for us. We were best friends. I remember lookin up to your mama. She was always the pretty one, with her baby blues and golden waves. She was outgoin…a real tomboy. She taught me how to ride my bike, how to catch frogs down in the old creek, she taught me how to throw a mean left hook. She was a free spirit."

The pictures reflected all of this information as she turned the pages, revealing pictures of lanky young girls covered in mud and dressed in their Sunday best. Linda's eyes sparkled in every picture, you could see the happiness in them.

She turned the page again and there was a picture of Linda with a baby boy in her lap. Bobbie continued, "When we were 7 years old, your mama's little brother was born. We loved playin with that boy. He was beautiful…always laughin and gigglin. He followed us everywhere we went. He was your granny's pride and joy."

She kept turning the pages as we saw the progression in age. He really was beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes, dimpled smile. The last picture on the page showed the three of them, Linda and Bobbi with their arms around each other, giving each other bunny ears, the boy was pushing his way in-between them laughing.

I watched as her eyes became glossy, "This is the last picture we ever took of him…we were both twelve and we were walkin home from school down that old dirt road you drove up…"

I watched as her fingers started trembling as she brushed them over his picture. Her voice was becoming strained as she tried to speak, "We was just gettin to that age where we was noticin boys…we were so excited cuz Jimmy and Henry were walkin us home. Anyway, here he come, barrelin down the road to meet us…maybe if we wasn't so distracted by those boys…maybe we would've got to him in time…"

She was sobbing quietly now and I watched as Jasper's frown deepened. I reached for the Kleenex on the windowsill and handed it to her. She sobbed her thanks and took a deep breath before continuing, "The truck rounded the corner so fast that we barely even seen it…all I heard was a thud sound and Linda screamin. The truck never stopped…we were covered in blood…the boys ran off…Linda ran up to him…he was layin off at the edge of the road…he was still breathin but barely…we didn't know that we shouldn't move him. Linda grabbed him up and we ran all the way back here…he was gone by the time we made it."

Jasper sighed and whispered as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, "That's messed up."

She nodded as she whispered out, "You ain't heard nothin yet, son."

She turned the next page and there was the program from the funeral. She pulled back the clear part and handed it to Jasper.

I put my hand on his arm as he opened it up and whispered, "Jasper Alan Reed. That's my name…Jasper Alan…"

Now Bobbi Sue furrowed her brows, "No, sweetie…you're Jasper Wayne…"

He shook his head, "No, I 'member every time granny was gettin on me for somethin, she'd yell 'Jasper Alan'…"

She shook her head now as she rummaged through the box. She pulled out a manila envelope and handed it to him, "It's your birth certificate."

He took a breath as he opened the envelope. There, as plain as day, read 'Jasper Wayne Whitlock.'"

He muttered, "Fuck," under his breath.

She cleared her throat and took a sip of her lemonade, "You were named Jasper after your uncle but Wayne after your daddy. Are you sure you want to hear the rest, darlin? It don't get no better after this…"

He put his elbows on the table and rubbed his hands along his face. He blew out a deep breath and nodded.

She grabbed another Kleenex and kept on, "After that day, your granny…she was so angry at your mama. She blamed her for her baby boy's death. She even started callin her all kinds of horrible names and sayin she was a harlot cuz she knew we had been talkin to those boys when the accident happened. Linda stopped comin 'round after that. I'd see her in school and that little sparkle in her eye…that free spirit…was slowly breakin."

His face was still buried in his hands and I heard him sniffle. I continued just holding onto his arm to offer some kind of support.

Tears kept falling from Bobbi Sue's eyes as she spoke in a strangled whisper, "She had bruises…all over and…the teachers never thought much of it cuz she was such a tomboy…she was always gettin into stuff…but I knew better. She stopped talkin to me after that. I was heart broken…she was my best friend…and then she was just…gone. When summer came a couple months later, I'd wait for her by the old pond where we'd go swimmin…prayin that she'd show up…she never did."

She blew her nose and took another sip of her lemonade. Jasper's face was still buried in his hands. I put my arm around his shoulder and ran my fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck…it always seemed to calm him down.

She cleared her throat before she started again, "I was so worried bout her…one day I finally decided to go to her house and ask her what I had done for her to just…forget me. I knocked on the door and her mama answered. She said Linda was busy but I seen her in the background…she was limpin really bad. So, I waited till later that night, after I figured her ma and pa would be sleepin…I snuck out and came here."

I watched as her hands tightened into fists as she squeezed the tissue hard in her hands, "I came to…the window and…what I saw…"

She started sobbing now worse than before and my heart was racing at the next piece of information we were going to hear. I hated that Jasper was hearing this…I hated that he was hurting.

She wiped at her eyes and breathed out, "Her daddy…he was…on top of her…she was screamin and fightin…"

Jasper pulled his hands through his hair as he looked down at the table. I barely heard him whisper, "He raped her…"

Bobbi Sue nodded, "I should've done somethin…I was just so scared…I couldn't believe what I was seein…"

Jasper looked over at her through red rimmed eyes, "Why didn't she tell Granma?"

Her head fell down in her hands as she whispered, "Oh God…Jasper, please don't hate me…I saw your granny through the window…she was standin in the doorway…she seen the whole thing…she just shook her head and walked away…"

I heard the chair skid across the floor before I even saw him jump up. Tears were streaming down his beautiful face but he was scarlet as anger took him over, "What the fuck?! Ain't no fuckin way! You're a god damn liar! Fuck this shit, I'm outta here!"

He started for the front door and was half way down the steps before I caught up with him. I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. Instinctively, he turned and quickly shoved my hand off of him.

I stumbled back a little, caught off guard, and his eyes went wide as he grabbed me suddenly around the waist to keep me from falling.

His chest was heaving as he pulled me to him, burying his face in my neck and whispering, "I'm so sorry…I wasn't even thinkin…I'd never hurt you…are you okay?"

I nodded as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and nuzzled my face into his neck, "I'm okay, Jay. It just caught me off guard…"

He was crying quietly into the crook of my neck as he held onto me tighter than he ever had, "I'm so fucked up, Edward…my head is so fucked right now…I remember how my granny used to talk about my mama…I grew up hearin bout how she was a whore…she hated mama…she called me by her dead son's name…she didn't even really love me…I was a fuckin replacement…I don't even know who I fuckin am…"

He was shaking in my arms as his fists balled up my t shirt in the back as his grip on me was unyielding.

I just held him with equal force and whispered, "This doesn't change anything, Jay…you know exactly who you are. You're _my _angel…you're Carlisle and Esme and Peter and Charlotte's son…you're Emmett and Brady's best friend…"

I pulled away from his grip and cupped his wet, tear stained cheeks, "Listen to me…it doesn't change anything, Jasper. You can't change the past, baby…you can't let the past control your future…your _future _is with me…I love you…we'll get through this together…you and me against this whole fucking world, baby…you remember?"

His breathing had started to calm down as he nodded his head and sniffled. I ran my thumbs across his closed eyelids, wiping away his tears. My heart was aching for him. Jasper had been through way too much today…and completely sober at that. I knew that he had spent the last four months of his life numbing himself to his feelings with drugs and alcohol. I knew my baby…his emotions were incredibly strong and now everything was just crashing upon him like a tidal wave.

Once his eyes opened, his cheeks turned red again and he looked down at the ground and mumbled, "Shit…I'm sorry for breakin down…"

I just raised an eyebrow and smiled at him because I couldn't begin to count all the times I had broken down on him. He smiled back and laughed softly as he pulled me into another hug. We held each for awhile and he whispered, "Thank you, Edward. I love you too. We're in this together…I won't forget."

When we pulled away this time, Jasper looked over my shoulder to Bobbi Sue. She was sitting on the porch steps still crying. He sighed and walked over to her, "Bobbi Sue…I'm real sorry for the way I talked to you…I shouldn't have…"

She shook her head as she wiped her eyes with a tissue, "No, baby…don't you apologize for that…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have ever said nothin…"

He took a deep breath and sat down next to her as he pulled out his cigarettes, "Mind if I smoke?"

She shook her head, "No…hell, I don't even smoke and I need a cigarette after that."

He smiled a little as he lit it up. I watched him take a long drag and exhale slowly. He took another breath and looked over at her, "Don't be sorry for tellin me…things are startin to make a little more sense now…things mama's done and things I 'member bout granny…the pieces of the puzzle are startin to fit together now."

He looked over at me and patted the spot next to him on the porch step. I smiled and walked up to the step above him. I sat down with my legs on either side of him so he could lay back against my chest. I ran my fingers through his curls as he sighed contently. He took another drag and looked over at Bobbi Sue, "There's more, ain't there?"

She nodded slowly and looked out over the field behind the house. He nodded too and sighed, "Go ahead…tell me the rest…otherwise I ain't ever gonna know the truth."

She took a deep breath and began again, "After seein what I saw…I ran back home…scared half to death and not knowin what to do. Her daddy made that decision a little easier the next day. I was walkin home from the store for my mama when his old truck pulled up beside me. He opened the passenger door and told me to get in. I said no…and then I seen the shot gun layin in the seat. I was just a kid…I was scared to get in the truck but scared to run too…so I got in."

She grabbed another tissue and sighed, "He never touched me…but he told me that he seen me in the window…he said if I ever told anybody what I seen…that he'd teach me a lesson just like he did Linda. He said that if little girls like us was gonna act like grown women…then he was gonna teach us what bein with a man was really about. He blamed us for the loss of his only son…blamed us for bein whores and talkin to boys when we shoulda been payin attention to other stuff…he let me go without hurtin me but told me that I was to never speak to Linda again or else we'd both pay."

"So, for the next two years, I stayed away. I watched from a distance as the girl I once knew as my best friend in the whole world, just…slowly disappeared. When I was fourteen, I started datin this guy who was best friend's with your daddy. They was in school with us…a couple years older. Wayne started datin Linda when they met in their lunch period. They fell fast…those two were inseparable and completely in love. I started seein her a little now when my boyfriend and Wayne would hang out. We started talkin a little but never bout anythin from the past."

"And then, she became pregnant. Her mama was furious but your daddy vowed that he was gonna stay by her side…marry her as soon as he could and take care of her and the baby. She was six months pregnant when Wayne caught her drinkin at a party one night…he was mad as hell, But she was drunk and we was all in the car as they was arguin…she let it slip that she was too scared to have the baby cuz she wasn't sure if it was Wayne's or her daddy's…"

Jasper groaned as his head went to his hands again, "He never stopped rapin her…"

Bobbi Sue shook her head, "No…he never did. When Wayne heard…the devil himself couldn't have stopped him from goin after her daddy. We all tried to stop him but he drove straight here…confronted her daddy…a fight broke out…Wayne beat him within an inch of his life. Later that night, your grandpa had a heart attack and ended up passin away a couple days later…the cops picked Wayne up, held him on involuntary manslaughter. But his daddy was fishin buddies with the judge, and he got him a good lawyer…they ended up sayin that the fight was just a fight since Wayne was pretty fucked up too and the heart attack wasn't his fault…anyway, the judge gave him an option, since he was only seventeen…serve time in prison or join the military. So, your daddy joined up."

Jasper just shook his head and mumbled, "Fuck my god damn life…"

I squeezed his shoulders and he leaned back into me while I started rubbing them.

Bobbi Sue continued, "Because of you, your granny allowed Linda to go ahead and marry your daddy 'fore he left. They got married two days 'fore you was born so you could have his last name…"

Jasper's head shot up, "Wait a second…you're tellin me my daddy married my mama before he even knew I was his?"

She nodded, "Yeah, son…he loved her and said that it didn't matter if you was his…he'd raise you as his own. But, you was born and Linda wanted the paternity test…she just had to know…thank the good Lord you did turn out to be Wayne's. So, he left for the Marines and your mama and you stayed with your granny…but your granny…well, she had lost a son and now her husband…she was angry, bitter…this is such a small town that somehow word got around that Linda had to have a paternity test done on you so now your granny was dealin with the small town gossip bout her 'whore of a daughter.' She wanted you to stay with her…raise as her own…but she kicked your mama out at 15 years old."

Jasper muttered, "Fuckin bitch…" under his breath.

Bobbi Sue sighed, "I snuck her into my house for a couple days but that didn't last long. She met some guy…he was a real badass…criminal, druggie, you name it…she ran off with him in the middle of the night. She stayed gone for three years. Wayne was heartbroken. She finally popped into town one night and begged your granny for help…sayin she was hooked on drugs real bad and needed to get clean 'fore Wayne got home. She wouldn't help her. So she left again. The next year, Wayne came back home and she showed up again. He said he was gonna help her get clean and get them a house so ya'll could be a family…he wanted her so much…but two weeks into the program, she relapsed and took off again. So, he re-enlisted and you still stayed with your granny. A couple years later, she came back and that's when she took you."

Jasper just sighed and buried his face into my chest for a minute as I played with his curls. Eventually he pulled away and lit another cigarette, "So, mama never loved me, daddy couldn't love me without mama, and granny loved me cuz I reminded her of her son…"

Bobbi put her hand on his shoulder, "No, son…your mama loved you, I'm sure she still does. That night after her mama kicked her out and she stayed with me…she cried all night cuz she wanted you, her baby boy. But she knew she couldn't give you a decent life…she was only 15, no education and no way to take care of you. She thought the right thing to do was leave you there until she could take care of you. And your daddy…he was so in love with your mama that losin her…crushed him. He knew he couldn't take care of you by himself. You was four years old when he came back from the Marines…you had a home and a person who loved you…he knew he couldn't do no better than you had. And your granny…she may have been a little crazy but the woman loved you with everythin she had, Jasper. She spent the last few months of her life, makin sure that she could leave you everythin she could think of that would help you out in your life. Your family may be loonier than a toon, sweetie…but they all loved you fiercely."

He sighed and just looked away as he took another drag from his cigarette. I knew his mind was going a hundred miles a minute right now…analyzing every word she had spoken and every memory he could drudge up. My heart ached for my blue eyed angel.

The information she had given us was quite overwhelming, to say the least. She had meant what she said, it was the truth and nothing more. Nothing comforting or awe inspiring…simply the facts that led us here.

Then I wondered aloud, "Bobbi Sue? How'd you get the house and all of Jasper's old belongings?"

She smiled over at me, "I'm an RN, sweetie. Bout a year after Jasper and Linda left, Maggie had a stroke. I was her personal nurse…"

Jasper snorted, "Bet that went over real good…"

She laughed now, "Your granny was madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged cat! Anyway, I started spendin a lot of time with her…eventually…when she was gettin close to the end, she started talkin to me bout the past. People have a funny way of bein sorry for everythin they've done when they know they don't have much time left. So, she sold me the house and gave me some of your things to put up for you. I got something else that she wanted me to give you too but we need to go in the house for that."

I followed Bobbi and Jasper back into the house, where Jasper and I settled on the couch while she left the room again.

She came back out a minute later with a black duffle bag. She sighed, "Now, Jasper…'fore I give this to ya…ya gotta 'member that your granny wasn't in her right frame of mind and she figured when ya came back that you'd be on the run or somethin…so here ya go."

She dropped the bag at his feet and he furrowed his brows as he pulled back the zipper. Then he gasped, "Holy fuckin shit!"

My curiosity was peaked as I leaned forward, "What is it, Jay?"

He laughed as he pulled out a stack of money, "The whole thing's filled with cash!"

Now I laughed, "Holy crap! How much is in there?"

He shrugged, "I have no clue but there's a whole lot of it!"

Bobbi Sue smiled, "I reckon there's probably 50 to 60 grand in there. Like I said, she thought you'd be on the run and need some cash. So, she sold the house to me for 30 grand in cash…I got it from a settlement from a car accident I was in as a teenager. Then I know she cashed out her life insurance, which wasn't a whole lot. Anyway, she made me promise I'd get it to ya when you was 18 if you didn't come here by then."

I watched as Jasper's smile turned into a frown and he sighed, "I can't take this…you just keep it."

Bobbi sat down next to him now, "Son, this is _your _money. I don't want or need it. She left it for you, so you'd have something…"

He shook his head, "She left it cuz she figured I'd be some damn criminal on the run from the law or some shit…she didn't even really love me…"

Bobbi sighed, "Jasper, your granny did love you, baby. She was all sorts of messed up but she loved you. She took care of you, didn't she?"

He sighed and nodded, "Yeah…I guess that's why this is all fucked up. She was really…good to me. But she treated mama like shit…and I feel bad for mama but she treated me like shit…"

Bobbi grabbed his hand and sighed, "Jasper, I didn't tell you those things to make an excuse for the way your mama treated you. I have no idea the kinda life you've had but I know it ain't been an easy one. Take this money, son…use it for college or to buy a house when ya graduate…"

Jasper swallowed and sighed as he nodded, "Okay, I guess I will. It could help get me and Edward a place together after school…"

I loved that he always included me in his future plans. He was in this for the long haul, just as much as I was. It made my heart flutter.

I grabbed the box full of his belongings and he grabbed the duffle bag.

We thanked Bobbi Sue and took the things out to the car. We slid the duffle bag into the trunk and figured it'd be safe there, since we didn't plan on using any of it. I put the box in the backseat for safekeeping. Bobbi Sue walked us out to the car and smiled, "Here's my phone number. I'll hang on to the table for you as long as you need me to. If you ever need anything, Jasper…please don't hesitate to call me. Take care of yourself, son."

She pulled him into a hug and held onto him for a minute. She whispered, "I know it don't make no difference what I think, Jasper…but I'm real proud of you, son. You seem like a real good boy."

He sighed, "I'm workin on it, Bobbi Sue. Take care of yourself. Thanks for everythin."

She pulled away and smiled, "If ya wanna go see your granny's grave…just head back into town and you'll see the signs for Rosewood Cemetery. Ya'll be careful and have a safe trip…to wherever it is you're headin."

I smiled back and held out my hand for her, "We will, ma'am. Thank you."

She leaned into Jasper as she took my hand and whispered, "Ya better hang on this one, son…he seems like a keeper and cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon."

He laughed and put his arm around my waist, "Yeah, he's a keeper alright."

I smiled over at him, "You're not so bad yourself, cowboy."

My heart fluttered again as the pink tinge came to his cheeks. We said our good byes and jumped in the car, headed back down the road.

Jasper was driving and I noticed him heading back into town so I figured we were going to his grandmother's grave. He was unusually quiet and I knew everything was weighing heavy on his mind. He pulled off the side of the road in a wooded area and laid his head on the steering wheel.

I reached over just as his shoulders started to shake. I ran my hand through his curls and whispered, "Come here, love."

A moment later, his arms were wrapped tightly around my neck and he was sobbing onto my shoulder.

I held him tight and whispered, "Let it all go, baby."

He squeezed me tighter and whispered through broken sobs, "I'm sick of…fuckin cryin…all the…god damn time…what the…fuck is wrong…with me…you're the…only person…who's ever just…loved me for…no reason…at all…please don't…ever leave me…I need…you so…fuckin much…"

My eyes filled with tears as my angel cried on my shoulder. I whispered as I held him as close as two people could possibly get, "I'll never leave you, Jasper…never. I know this day has been overwhelming for you, baby…please don't feel weak…look at it for what it is. You've been hit with so much today and you're dealing with all of this completely sober, Jay…you've been numb, baby…and now everything is crashing down. But I promise you that when the lightening and thunder subside…I'll still be here, holding onto you for dear life, love."

I held him for awhile until his sobs eventually did subside. He pulled away with a sniffle and a frown. His brow was furrowed and I could tell now that the sadness had dwindled but the anger was building up.

He needed to vent his anger before it exploded so I quickly jumped out of the car and walked around to the drivers side. I opened his door and reached my hand out to him. He took it as he furrowed his brows and stepped out of the car, "What are you doin, Edward?"

I held his hand and led him off into the woods just a bit before I let go and took a deep breath, "You're going to lose it, Jay. I can read you like a book so go ahead…scream, cuss, let loose and get it out of your system."

I watch his fists clench and his face turning red before he just starts screaming, "What the fuck is wrong with my god damn family?! My gran daddy's a god damn pedophile…my granny's fuckin crazier than a shithouse rat…and my mama was so fucked up by both of them that she's in a fuckin Indiana prison right now! Fuck! My head is so fucked up! Do I hate my granny for what she did to my mama or do I love her for takin care of me?! Do I forgive my mama for fuckin me up cuz she was so fucked up to begin with?! How the fuck am I supposed to feel?!"

He's pacing and screaming and pulling at his hair. I lean against a tree and listen to him go because I figure he'll run out of steam pretty soon and probably cry again. I hate that I can't take this pain away from him. I gladly would…I would do anything to keep him from suffering. But I know that he just has to get this shit out because if he keeps it bottled in, it will eat away at him.

"And what the fuck?! My daddy wanted me 'fore he even knew I was his…but every fuckin time I see him, he just wants to knock the shit outta me?! It doesn't make no god damn sense! Why'd granny walk away when that bastard was rapin her?! Twelve fuckin years old, god damn it! Was she that fuckin angry at her only god damn daughter for not bein able to save her son?! Why the fuck wasn't she watchin him instead of lettin him run down the god damn road?! Was she fuckin jealous cuz her sick ass husband wanted her daughter instead?! Then she leaves me a bag full of money cuz she's certain I'm gonna be on the fuckin run like a god damn criminal?! This is all so fuckin…"

And then he's crying again as his hands hide his face and he sobs, "…I don't wanna feel this way no more, Edward. Help me…please darlin…"

I wrap my arms around him and hold him as close I can get. I run my fingers through his hair as I whisper, "Shh, baby…it's going to be okay. I know it's all too real and raw right now but I promise that you'll get through this, Jay."

I walk him over to a big tree behind us and sit down, pulling him into my chest as he cries. I rock him back and forth and begin mindlessly humming…hoping that the sound will soothe and distract him.

A short while later, I can feel his laughter against my chest. He looks up with bright blue puffy eyes and his gorgeous dimpled smile, "Edward? You're hummin 'Winnie the Pooh.'"

I scoff, "I most certainly was not!"

He laughs and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, "You were! Listen…"

Then he starts humming and I can feel my face begin to burn as crimson as the sun when I realize, I was, in fact, humming Winnie the Pooh.

I shrug and look down at the ground, "I like Winnie the Pooh."

He laughs and wipes his eyes off as he pulls my chin up to meet his dazzling baby blues, "I really needed that…thanks, Eddie."

I smile back even if I am still a little embarrassed, "Anytime, Jay."

He sighs and lays his head back on my shoulder and whispers, "Thanks for everythin today…I woulda never got through it without ya by my side. I'm sorry I'm such a basket case right now."

I sighed as I brushed my fingertips down his strong bicep, "Jasper, I'll always be by your side because you've always been by mine. And as far as being a basket case…you most certainly aren't. You're the strongest man I've ever known, babe…but you're still human. I used to always think of you as Superman…but you're so much stronger than he could ever be. It's easy to be strong when you're indestructible, baby…but you can be hurt…it makes you all the more stronger and braver that you're able to fight through it, Jay because I know that you're hurting right now yet here you are, able to laugh when I absent mindedly hum Winnie the Pooh. You never cease to amaze me, love."

He pulled away with a small smile as he whispered, "You're a keeper alright. I love you, Edward."

He leaned forward and brushed his strong lips against mine. My lips parted as I brushed my tongue along his bottom lip. I felt his tongue drink me in and soon I became lost in the taste of honey and tears. I'm not sure how long we kissed, but by the time my eyes opened again, the sun was fading as the sky turned into warm shades of orange and pink and purple against the emerald backdrop of the treetops.

I looked into those deep pools of midnight blue surrounded by red rimmed edges…

_God, he's beautiful…_

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, "We should get goin 'fore it gets too late."

I nodded and helped pull him up. We walked back to the car, the rough calluses of his fingers clenched in mine were soothing and calming.

I decided to drive this time and he asked for me to take him to the cemetery. I saw the sign as we headed into town and it didn't take long until we were there. We had stopped briefly for me to run into a flower shop and buy some wildflowers…he said they were her favorite.

We walked hand in hand to the gravesite and saw that hers was between her husband's and child's. Jasper sighed and pulled a daisy from the bouquet and placed it on Jasper Alan's grave.

He bent down and laid the flowers on Maggie's grave as he sighed, "Granny…thanks for takin care of me. I still love you…even though it hurts me to my heart to do so. I guess I'll never understand the past…but I gotta let it go to move ahead to my future. So, I'm lettin go. Rest in peace, granny."

He turned and smiled weakly at me as I opened my arms to him again. I pulled him into a soft hug and whispered my love for him.

We made our way back to the car as the luminescent hues of soft colors faded into a crisp navy sky. We took off back down the highway and it wasn't long before Jasper was curled up fast asleep in the passengers seat…

…_the seat we made love in for the very first time…_

I felt my cheeks burning as I remembered the last time he laid in that seat. But he was sound asleep now, worn out from an exhausting day of truths and revelations that answered some questions…but created many more.

It was interesting to me the things we remember as children, only to grow up and realize the half truths and twisted versions of reality we thought we knew. It made me wonder about my own childhood and scenarios of what could have happened to my parents began playing in my head.

Eventually I gave up the attempts at deciphering my past and focused on what was truly important…the present. I thought about my mom and dad and all of the hell I had put them through. Feelings of guilt washed through me at the memories of my mother's soft cries and the slivers of gray hair that now adorned my dad's ash blonde locks due to my inability to let my past go.

I sighed and pulled out my phone, suddenly missing them both extraordinarily. I pulled over at a rest stop and dialed his number.

"Son?"

His voice brought a small smile to my face, "Yeah, dad, it's me. I figured I should call and check in."

I could hear the smile on his face, "I'm glad you called, Edward. Are you boys doing okay?"

"Yeah…well, it's been kind of a trying day for Jasper. He's asleep."

"Oh? What's going on, son?"

I sighed and told him a little about today, nothing in detail because I figured that was Jasper's story to tell but it felt good to get some of the burden off of my shoulders.

He sighed, "Sounds like you've both had an exhausting day, son. Maybe you should call it a night soon and get a room."

I looked over at Jay who's brow was wrinkled as he whimpered in his sleep, "Yeah, I think we will. Hey dad?"

"Yeah, son?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose, "Um…I'm really sorry for making you worry so much about me. I know that things haven't been easy with me…but I'm really thankful that you and mom…wanted me when no one else did. I love you both more than you'll ever know."

I heard him let out a breath then chuckle, "I'm a dad, Edward…worrying is part of the job. And…I'm really thankful that we found you, son. We love you too…and some day, if you have children of your own…you'll understand just how much."

I smiled at the thought of maybe having a child one day. I know I had said that I didn't want any…biologically, that was correct…but maybe…well, Jasper said he never really wanted kids either so…

I sighed, "Thanks dad."

He yawned as I heard the intercom in the background so I figured he must be working.

"Son? Have you gotten the oil changed and all the fluids checked?"

"Um…no. Am I supposed to?"

He laughed, "Thank God you have Jasper with you…tomorrow, I want you boys to get the oil changed and make sure everything's in good working order before continuing further."

I smiled, "Okay, we will, dad."

"Alright, son. You boys have a good night. Be safe and get some rest."

"Okay, dad. Love you. Good night."

"I love you too, son. Good night."

I pulled back onto the interstate as Jasper continued whimpering and mumbling in his sleep. The words, 'No', 'Stop', and 'Please', spilled into the nighttime air. I found the next motel quickly and pulled in to wake him from his apparent nightmare.

I reached over and brushed my fingers through his sweat dampened curls, "Jay? Wake up, baby…"

He whimpered again so I brushed the back of my hand along his cheek and tried again, "Wake up, love…"

He shot forward and gasped. He looked around for a moment with wide eyes before looking over at me and letting out a breath. He reached over and pulled me into a hug, "Oh thank God…for a minute, I thought I was on the highway with mama again…"

I wrapped my arms around him and whispered, "Are you okay, babe?"

He pulled away and nodded as he pulled his hands through his sweaty hair before rubbing them on his jeans, "I'm okay, darlin…Jesus, I'm sweatin like a whore in church…"

I nodded, "Yeah, it sounded like you were having a nightmare."

He sighed and looked out the window, "Yeah…well, I'm gonna go get the room."

He hopped out of the car and a few minutes later he was back with the room key. We drove down to the room and grabbed our bags from the car.

He was very quiet again and a little antsy as he went through his bag and pulled out a pair of boxers, "Hey Edward?"

I grabbed some of my own as I looked up at him, "Yeah, babe?"

"Um…would you mind runnin and gettin us somethin to eat? I'm starvin and I saw a couple fast food joints down the road."

I nodded, "Sure, Jay. You want to come with me?"

He shook his head, "No…um…I think I'm gonna take a quick shower…if you want me to, I will though…"

Now I shook my head, "No, that's okay babe. Take a shower, I'll be back in a few minutes. Want anything in particular?"

He shook his head again, "Whatever's fine. Ya know what I like. Thanks, man."

I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, "Okay, Jay. Be back soon."

As soon as I shut my car door, I let out a breath I had been holding.

_Damn it…_

Something was off with Jay. He was sending me out for a reason. I knew him too well. He brought something with him…for emergencies. I wasn't sure if it was alcohol or pills or what…but I was certain of it.

I pulled off down the road to nearby burger joint and pulled in the parking lot. I sighed as I pulled out my phone. I hit speed dial number 6 and waited.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Greene?"

"Edward? Are you okay?"

I sighed, "Um…yeah, I'm okay. I'm sorry to call so late…"

"No, no…it's okay. Jonathan and I were just watching the news. What's up?"

I took a deep breath, "It's Jasper. We went to see his grandmother today and although she passed away a few years ago, we ran into a friend of his mother's. She told us the truth about Jasper's grandparents and mother. It wasn't pretty, doc. In fact…it was fucking awful. He's been having meltdowns all day and now he just sent me out for fast food. I'm not stupid…I know he's doing something he shouldn't be…but I don't know what to do to help him…"

I was crying softly by the time I finished and he sighed, "Calm down, Edward. You know that he's safe with you and I'm glad you recognized what he's doing. You just need to go back and talk to him…talk, Edward…not yell…not accuse…don't make him feel any worse. Just be calm, be patient, and remember to assure him that you love him and aren't going anywhere. We both know he has abandonment issues…he needs constant reassurance that you're not mad at him or disappointed…he needs to know that you understand and you only want to make things better for him."

I nodded as I wiped my eyes, "Okay…what if…what if he gets mad at me and doesn't want to talk to me?"

He chuckled softly, "Edward? You are the only person who Jasper will always talk to, no matter what. He trusts you more than he trusts himself. He needs you to be strong for him, just as he was for you when you needed him. Just do the best you can, son. You love Jasper…you'll know what to do. If you need help, just call me back."

I sniffled, "Okay…I'll do whatever it takes. Thanks, doc."

"You're welcome, Edward. Have you been taking your medication?"

I nodded again for some odd reason, "Um…yeah. I put an alarm on my phone to remind me."

"Good, good…okay, then. Well, remember to make sure you call me every Tuesday and Friday for our session. Don't think that traveling half way across the country is going to get you out of your therapy."

I laughed a little, "I know, doc…I believe your exact words were 'you can run, but you can't hide.' I'll make sure to call you."

He laughed now too and then sighed, "Edward? In the morning, would you speak with Jasper about calling me? I'd really like to continue my sessions with him as well."

"I will, doc. I better get back. Thanks."

"You're welcome, son. Good night and call me if you need me."

"Okay. Good night, doc."

I hung up, feeling a little better and resolving my strength to help Jasper through this. I ran in and got us some burgers and fries before heading back to the room.

When I walked in, I heard the shower going so I set the food down on the table and walked to the bathroom door. I turned the handle but it was locked.

_Fuck…_

I knocked softly, "Hey Jay? Food's here, babe. Open up and I'll join you."

His voice was off again as he spoke, "Um…I'll be out in a minute, Edward…I'm almost done, baby…"

I sighed and turned with my back against the door, "Hey Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

The shower went off and I heard him sniffle as his voice croaked, "I love you too."

I ran my fingertips down the door as I spoke softly, "Please let me in, Jay. I won't be upset, angel."

He sobbed again and my heart was aching, "Ya promise?"

I held back my tears as I whispered, "I swear it, love. Please let me in."

A moment later, I heard some shuffling and the door unlock. I pushed it open and wanted to cry…but I didn't. He was sitting on the floor with a blanket wrapped around him. He had a bottle of vodka in his hands and he wouldn't look up at me.

I whispered, "Thank you for opening the door. May I sit with you?"

He chuckled softly through his sobs, "Of course you can sit with me, Eddie."

I pulled back the blanket and crawled underneath with him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder as he leaned into me.

He started sobbing harder again as he grabbed onto me, "Please don't be mad at me…I'm sorry…"

I ran my fingers through his curls and whispered, "Shh, love…I could never be mad at you for making a mistake. Do you remember that Christmas I snuck over to your house?"

He nodded and whispered, "Right before our second kiss…"

I smiled against his honey curls as I held him closer, "Yeah…I was having a difficult time dealing with my family over the holidays and I started cutting again. I was terrified to show you…scared that you were going to be disappointed or angry with me. But you weren't. You understood and told me that everybody messes up once in awhile. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. It made me feel…normal. Everything that you're feeling and the way you're reacting are completely normal, Jay. Please don't ever think that I'm going to be angry or disappointed in you, love."

He sniffled again and looked up at me through puffy red eyes but his baby blues were bright and electric and his dimpled grin made my heart flutter, "Thank you, Edward. You always know just what to say to make me feel better. I don't know how you ended up in my arms that night…but I'm so fuckin thankful you did."

I smiled and felt my cheeks begin to burn as I remember scooting closer and closer to him that night after his hand landed on my hip as he slept…fully intent on kissing him again. However, he sees it as one of life's little mysteries…fate at it's absolute best…so I just keep my mouth shut and let him have that.

"I am too, Jay. I'm glad you didn't freak out when I brushed my lips against yours."

He laughed, "Fuck, Edward…I had been wantin to kiss ya so damn bad I could hardly stand it. That first kiss…_fuck_…that first had me hooked, Edward. I would spend hours tryin to just think of an excuse to kiss ya again…but I was too scared and I knew you'd probably do whatever I asked…so I didn't wanna ask…I wanted you to want it as bad as I did…"

I brushed my fingertips across his cheek and into the curls at the nape of his neck, bringing him closer to me so that his honey breath fanned out across my needy lips, "I did want it as bad as you did, love…I still do."

Our lips came together, a familiar spark of electricity crackling around us as the air became thick and heavy with wanton desire. We breathed through one another as the kiss lingered on for days…or hours…or maybe even minutes…nothing else mattered when his lips were against mine.

Eventually he pulled away and smiled, "Let's go eat, baby. Thanks for goin out."

I smiled back, "No problem, babe."

We stood and he sighed as he unscrewed the cap to the vodka and began pouring it down the sink. I smiled at him through his reflection in the mirror, I was really proud of him but I knew that he could see it in my eyes so no words needed to spoken.

Then, he pulled out a small baggie of pills and just shrugged as he dumped them in the toilet, "Sorry, Eddie…I didn't take any though."

I smile, "That's really good, babe."

Once he's done, we go out and eat our cold fast food and still, it's pretty good. Then we take a quick shower and I know Jay is exhausted when he's not all that interested in fooling around.

We finally crawl into bed, clad in boxers this time as we wrap our long bodies around one another. For once, he's out before I am, but eventually the rhythmic beat of his heart lulls me into a blissful slumber once again.

_Chicago is on the way to Michigan…I wonder if my house is still standing…_


	30. Chapter 30

**Okay, so you shouldn't need tissues for this chapter…well, er…maybe…but not for the same reason you've needed them in the last few chapters…hmm…too much info perhaps? Anyway, I hope you enjoy this…**

**Big thanks to my girl Philomena for another kickass drawin of my boys…check out the new avatar!**

**BTW, I moved my fics over to the Writer's Coffee Shop also. My screen name is the same, mistyhaze420, here's the link…**

**http://www (.) twcslibrary (.) ?uid=11959**

**I also started a Facebook page just for my FF stuff…**

**http://www (.) face book (.) com/!?id=100000862765436**

**And…ya gotta check out this banner made for me by my girl IamKate…loving it hard, girlie! Thank you sfm!!!**

**http://i940 (dot) photobucket(dot)com/albums/ad242/IAK_photos/LessonsLearned(dot)jpg**

**As always, songs are on my you tube playlists and the link is on my profile…**

**Playlist : Calling Dr. Love by KISS (hee hee)…Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Lady Antebellum**

**Jasper's POV**

I woke up with a gasp as my nightmares…no, memories, haunted me even while I slept. My beautiful boy shifted in my arms with a soft sigh against my chest and that's all I needed to remember that I was still okay. As long as he was in my arms…I was good.

I tightened my grip on him and started runnin my fingers through his soft bronze hair as it helped slow down my racin heart and mind. He always had a way of helpin me stay calm. Even when we first met, I loved touchin him…just a simple squeeze of his shoulder or throwin my arm across it helped…those touches were meant to keep _him _calm but they worked just as much for me.

It's funny when you look back on your life and notice things that you never did before. Lookin back on my time with my granny…things I never really questioned were suddenly becomin clearer and makin more sense.

She was fiercely protective of me. I remember when I was five and I saw a rabbit hoppin down that dirt road…I took off after it and granny came runnin after me…yellin "Jasper Alan! I told ya to never go near that road! You swore you'd never take off again!"

She swooped me up in her arms and damn near squeezed the life outta me in a hug. I was a little confused cuz she had never said nothin to me bout that road before and I never swore anythin like that. But she was huggin me so good…that I didn't care.

I remember mama comin home once and granny screamin at her on the front porch…callin her a no good whore and that she wasn't takin me anywhere…that mama _owed _her. I was mad at mama for makin my granny cry so I ran out on that porch and told her I didn't wanna go with her…she wasn't a good mama…she was bad…I knew cuz granny told me and I believed everythin she told me.

I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes again.

I remember after Edward told me the real story of what happened to him…I was so angry. I remember ranting bout how when fucked up kids grow up…no one cares and is so quick to just toss them aside. I tossed mama aside. I never once said anythin nice to her…I called her every name that her mama had called her. No wonder she hated me so much. Maybe if I woulda just once talked to her with a little respect…but daddy taught me that respect is earned, not given…and in my eyes, mama had never earned any of my respect.

My head really was all fucked up. If it wasn't for Edward…I don't even wanna think where I would be without him.

I looked down at him and noticed how much my beautiful boy…was becomin a beautiful man. I remember him at 13. He was scrawny and short but he had the coolest hair I had ever seen. The color reminded me of autumn…my favorite time of year. And it was wild, stickin up all over the place in different directions…but kinda like that's how it was s'posed to be. He was unbelievably shy and awkward…soft spoken and sweet.

Now, Edward was only shorter than me by an inch or two. His body was still lean but stronger now with well defined muscles in his abdomen and arms. His hair…well that hadn't changed…and I still thought he had the coolest hair I ever seen. But even more amazing than the incredibly sexy man that's he's growin into…is the incredibly strong man he's becoming.

He was still shy and awkward at times, soft spoken and sweet…but he was also, passionate and brave and cool and strong. He didn't need my protection anymore, though I would still protect him from anything I could. He was the one tryin to protect me now. It's funny sometimes how the tables can turn…but I guess that's what love is really about…bein what the other one needs you to be from time to time.

I had to get my head back on straight cuz I didn't want Edward to have to rescue me all the damn time…hell, he already drove all the way from Washington to Texas in a shiny silver Volvo for me…kinda like a prince on his valiant steed…

_Fuck…I'm really startin to go soft…I am not gonna break out into "Someday my prince will come!"_

His whimpers pull me from thoughts and I feel him trembling against me. I run my fingers through his soft hair and whisper, "Wake up, darlin."

He groans and I can see the wetness culminating in his closed eyes. He's having a pretty bad nightmare if he's cryin in his sleep. So I try again, a little louder this time, "Darlin, wake up…"

He gasps awake with wide eyes as he looks around a moment to get his bearings. When his eyes lock on mine, they stay there, starin at me with such intensity that my dick actually twitches.

His soft thumb comes up and slides along my cheek until it brushes underneath my eye and wipes the wetness away. My hand reaches out to him as I mimic his action and wipe away his tears.

He leans into my touch and closes his eyes as he whispers, "You had a nightmare too?"

I whisper back, "Yeah…you okay, baby?"

He smiles as he nods, "I am now…are you okay?"

I smile as his pretty green eyes open and look at me, "I am now."

He sighs as he lays his head back down on my chest and whispers, "You've had a pretty rough day, baby. Do you want to talk about it?"

I wrap my arms back around him and snuggle into his warm strong body, "I don't know, Edward. Everythin I ever thought was all a fuckin lie…I don't know how to feel. It hurts. I just feel…" and I let out a defeated sigh as I whisper, "heartbroken."

He rests his chin on my chest as he gazes up at me, "Do you trust me?"

I'm taken aback a little by his odd question as I furrow my brow and nod, "You know I trust you more than anythin, Edward."

He smiles that crooked grin that makes my heart race as he leans up and kisses me softly before pulling away and hopping out of bed, "Good. Sit up and smoke a cigarette or something…I'll be right back."

I laugh softly as he grabs his bag and runs into the bathroom, shutting and locking it behind him.

I pull myself up to a sitting position and light up a square, tryin to figure out exactly what he's up to.

My questions are answered a few minutes later when the door opens.

I stub my cigarette out in the ash tray as my mouth hangs open.

He's grinnin as he leans against the door frame in a pair of blue scrubs, barefoot, and twirling that stethoscope in his fingers. I'm unable to speak at the moment but my dick acknowledges his presence as it hardens immediately and tents the thin blanket over my lap.

He smirks and all I can do is lick the drool from my bottom lip as he says, "Well, it looks like I managed to fix your broken cock last time so let's see what I can do about your broken heart…"

He saunters over to me and I definitely notice the little swagger in his step. He places the stethoscope around his neck as he leans over top of me and straddles my lap. His hardening dick slides against my rigid one and I bite my lip to stifle the moan.

He smiles as he leans over to my ear and whispers, "Don't worry, young man…Doctor Love has the cure for what ails you." I don't even try to stifle the moan this time as my hands grip his hips and he bites my earlobe softly before trailing his tongue along the shell of my ear, causing little goose bumps to rise all over my body.

He lifts up to his knees and puts the ends of the stethoscope in his ears. He smiles and whispers, "Let's check out this broken heart of yours and see what I can do."

He breaths gently on the end to warm it up before placing it over my heart. Then he sighs, "Hmm…the beat of your heart seems awfully strong to me…but I wonder if I can make it stronger…"

My fingers are diggin into his hips as I look up into his bright green eyes through my hooded ones.

He begins rockin his hips against mine as my head falls back against the headboard and I moan out a breathless, "Oh fuck, Edward…"

He smirks again and whispers, "I give the orders here, love."

I bite my lip again and he smiles as he keeps rockin back and forth against me, my fingers diggin into his scrubs as I clench his nice squishy ass.

"Well, it seems as though that action certainly makes your heart beat a little stronger…a little faster…see, listen…"

He takes the ends from his ears and place them in mine as the rapid beat of my heart rushes through me like a runaway freight train. I swallow hard as I look up at him again and his crooked grin flashes before he slowly starts peelin off his shirt.

I can hear my heart racin even harder and faster at the sight of his beautiful body as it's slowly revealed to me. I see those sexy little V muscles and the hint of bronze curls as his scrubs lay loose on his hips and he has taken off the boxers he had on before. My eyes travel slowly upward following the hem of his shirt to see his tight stomach and the beginning of his six pack that's starting to develop. I lick my lips as the sight of his little hard nipples that I just want to bite and suck on as my eyes lift up to his broad shoulders with the few little freckles splayed across them.

Finally, my eyes are on his again as the shirt comes over his head, fuckin up his hair even more and makin it all the more sexy as hell.

My own heart beat is poundin in my ears and my dick is straining against my boxer briefs, the head already wet with pre cum.

He licks his lip and the vision of his silky pink tongue sliding across his cherry bottom lip, nearly causes me to lose it. His hands brush along my jaw and over my cheeks until he pulls the stethoscope away and tosses it aside.

"I think your heart is okay, Jasper…so let's check your temperature. I seemed to have forgotten my thermometer but…"

His fingers hooked into the waist of his scrubs as he began slowly pulling them down. I groan at the sight of his rock hard cock springing forth…all big and hard and tempting and shit.

He smirked as he twisted his fingers in the curls at the back of my neck and pulled my face forward as he whispered, "…just put this in your mouth and let me see how hot you are."

I moan around his cock as I take it in my mouth. My lips suck gently on the head as my tongue swirls around and dips through the slit…the steel stud causing his head to fall back and his eyes close as he moans long and deep.

My eyes close as my fingers grip his thighs and I work my way down around his hard shaft…suckin and lickin and runnin that stud along the bottom. His hips start rockin and pushin him deeper down my throat as I hum deeply around him. He tastes and feels so fuckin good in my mouth that all my troubles are soon forgotten.

_Dr. Love is the best medicine a man could have…_

I can feel him pulsin and tremblin as he moans softly and his fingers brush through my curls. But then he pulls away and my hooded eyes open and look up into his.

They are deep forest green and half lidded as he stares down at me. The smile from his face is gone, replaced by a look of wanton desperation.

He whispers as he runs his fingers down my neck, "I don't want to cum in your mouth…I want to cum inside you. Can I make love to you?"

My words are caught in my throat so I nod softly and lay back against the pillow.

His eyes never leaves mine as he reaches for the lube on the nightstand. He lays it down next to us as he reaches for his pants and begins tugging them all the way off. I reach down to help as we guide them over his strong legs and toss them to the floor.

He pulls the blanket back and nudges my knees apart gently with his as he settles between my legs. His fingers run lovingly up my thighs as he hooks them into my boxer briefs and slowly begins pulling them down. I lift my hips to help as he slides them over my hips and down my thighs. His eyes are still on mine and once again, the intensity of his emotions shines through them. They are soft and brilliant with love and devotion.

His fingers caress my skin as he raises my legs and slides the boxers off as they join his pants on the floor. His soft hands are drivin me crazy…never leavin my skin as they glide up and down my legs, massaging and kneading all the stress away.

Once my feet find the mattress again, he settles himself between my legs and leans down over me, rubbing our rigid cocks together as they're trapped between our hard stomachs.

His elbows come to rest on either side of my head on the pillow as he stares down at me. I wrap my arms around his waist and moan softly at the feel of his skin against mine…so soft and so warm.

I can't wait anymore to feel his lips so I reach up and pucker mine against his. He returns the kiss tenderly and slow. I shudder from having him so close to me, his body pressed against mine, his lips and tongue tasting me.

Eventually, he pulls away from the kiss and begins trailing his lips and tongue down my jaw, nipping and sucking and licking.

He ventures further down to my neck and continues his wonderful slow torture with his lips and tongue and teeth. He doesn't leave one inch of skin unloved as he showers my body with attention.

I'm writhing underneath him by the time he's down to my stomach. His tongue slides over the creases of my muscles and swirls around my belly button. I'm clenching onto the sheets beneath me as he nips and licks my hip bones, going further down still.

He teases me as he trails kisses between my legs and gently sucks my balls but still hasn't touched my aching, weeping cock.

A long drawn out moan escapes my lips as his satin tongue swirls around my puckered hole. His tongue tastes every part of my body before finally beginning it's ascent up my shaft.

He takes me into his warm wet mouth and one of my hands tangle in his now slightly sweaty hair as I begin slowly pumping upwards to fuck his pretty mouth.

I hear the lid to the lube flip open and a minute later, I can feel his long slender finger circling my hole.

Very gently he presses it in as he increases the suction around my cock and I cry out his name, desperate for release but praying for this to never end.

My eyes roll back as he slips another finger in and begins stretching me while rubbin up against my magic spot over and over again. Soon a third finger joins and the sharp shot of pain makes my dick even harder as he takes me all the way down his throat.

Sometimes a little pain…feels _so fuckin good._

I love the way his fingers feel inside me and how his warm mouth loves on me. I can feel my stomach beginning to burn and I know my release is close.

Just as my mouth opens for me to moan out 'Don't stop…' the little fucker pulls away with a breathless whisper, "I want you to cum from me making love to you."

I groan and know that when he pushes me over the edge this time…it's gonna be earth shattering.

He reaches over and trails a little lube down his long hard cock and I'm just watchin…and squirmin cuz I want him so fuckin bad right now.

His hand begins slowly pumpin his cock to spread the lube around and then he wipes his hand on the sheet to get it clean and we both chuckle a little.

Then he leans back over me with one hand pressing into the bed by my head and the other positioning himself at my entrance. I wrap my arms around his back as he slowly starts to push himself in.

The little shots of pain reverberate through me, only makin the bliss more intense. My feet are diggin into the mattress as I lift my hips slightly to take in more of him. He rocks his hips slowly as he pushes his cock all the way inside.

Once he's all the way in, his other hand rests next to my head and he slides down to his elbows. His hooded green eyes are locked on mine as his crimson lips slight partly and he releases a breathless whimper as he holds himself still. He waits for a moment for me to adjust to his size…and yeah, I need a fuckin minute.

Finally, I softly moan, "I'm ready, baby."

His lips capture mine in a searing kiss as he starts pullin out slightly and pushin back in hard. I moan into his mouth and my heels dig into the bed. There's not an inch of air between our bodies as his strong stomach captures my achin dick against mine and the friction of our bodies rubbin together is drivin me wild.

His hands have tangled in my hair as his mouth just fuckin devours mine. My hands run up to his broad shoulders and I'm in fuckin heaven at the feel of him. His muscles clenching…the light sheen of sweat between our bodies…his firm, chiseled chest slidin against mine and his strong muscular arms…my little Edward is all fuckin man.

My cock is pulsing and I know I ain't gonna last much longer.

I throw my head back into the pillow as I break away from the kiss with a long loud moan. This fuels him even more as he begins bitin and suckin my neck and throat and shoulders.

Then he pulls away and reaches down to grab my leg underneath the knee and shifts it up over his shoulder while my other foot is still diggin into the bed.

This little shift in position has me seein stars as but his stomach is no longer against mine, rubbin my dick the way I need it. So, I reach down to start pumpin myself as he grabs my hands and holds them firmly on either side of my head.

He moans out in sharp breaths, "I said…you're going to cum…from me…being inside you…"

And there's no doubt in my mind that I will.

Now my hard cock is bouncing against my stomach as he holds my hands down and continues rockin his hips faster and harder against me.

I don't even try to fight it cuz dominate Eddie rocks my fuckin world, so I let him hold me down and fuck me senseless.

Everythin starts swirlin together in a hazy cloud of pleasure and pain and love and lust…it don't take long before my back arches and I scream out his name as I start cumming hard as hell all over the fuckin place while my cock continues bouncin around.

He falls against me and hangs onto my neck tight as he whimpers out a strangled, "Jay," in my ear and I feel his warm wet release inside of me.

We hold onto each other, tremblin and shakin from the magnitude of the moment we just shared. Our shortened breaths begin to even out and I smile when I see the stethoscope lyin on the side of the bed.

I laugh softly, feelin better than I had all fuckin day, "You're right, doc…ya do got the cure for what ails me."

He chuckles softly against my neck and sleepily whispers, "No charge, babe. Love you, Jay."

I whisper as I kiss his hair, "Love you, Eddie."

And I wait for it cuz I know it's comin…soft snores.

He's fast asleep and I chuckle again at the soft snores against my shoulder. I reach over and grab my boxers on the floor and wipe us both as clean as I can with him wrapped around me.

And before I know it, I'm sleepin like a baby…

* * *

_What the hell is that gigglin? _

Before I even open my eyes, I lean forward and press a gentle kiss to his lips…no, what the hell am I kissin?

One eye opens and I hear the gigglin again as I look at Edward's big toe, that I just kissed.

I lift my head to look down and see Edward lyin at the opposite end of the bed eatin a box of donut holes and watchin Spongebob.

He's laughin again as he turns to his side and smiles at me, "Good morning, love."

I smile back and in my lazy southern drawl, I croak out a sleepy, "Mornin, darlin."

I start to sit up and decide that it's just too damn temptin to pass up…so, I grab his legs and hold them as I start ticklin the shit outta his feet.

He starts laughin hysterically and tryin to kick his way free but he ain't no match for me cuz Edward's more ticklish than Elmo.

I laugh along with him as I taunt my beautiful boy, "Who's yer daddy?!"

He kicks and laughs, "Carlisle Cullen!"

He's a defiant little fucker so I wrap my legs around his and hold his feet with one arm as I reach down and start ticklin his inner thighs. This little spot…really drives him fuckin crazy.

"Wrong answer, Eddie! Who's yer daddy?!"

He's buckin and tryin to pry my fingers from him as he laughs hysterically, "You're my daddy! Now let me go! Please!"

I smile as I let him go and pounce on top of him, holdin his hands down as I notice now that he's fully dressed and I'm still butt ass naked, "Why the hell are you dressed? Did I give you permission to put clothes on, little boy?"

He smirks as his flushed cheeks are as cherry as his lips, "You weren't calling me little last night…and I'm dressed because I woke up early and wanted donuts. I bought you a coffee. I just got back a few minutes ago so it should still be hot."

I look to the nightstand and see a cup of coffee sittin there. I smile and lean down to his neck, kissin it softly as I whisper, "Well, I guess I'll let it slide then…but next time…I expect to wake up and find you naked in my bed."

He laughs softly again as I pull away and jump up outta bed. I go and take a leak, then I brush my teeth.

I head back to bed and crawl under the blanket as I sit against the headboard and light a square. My coffee is still hot so I begin drinkin it as I have my mornin smoke.

Edward's still watchin Spongebob as he giggles his ass off and eats from his little box of donut holes. Then I see him reach down to the floor and grab a bottle of chocolate milk. He takes a big swig and I chuckle cuz he's just so fuckin cute sometimes.

His head turns when he hears me and I full out laugh when he pulls the bottle away and he has a little chocolate milk mustache.

He smirks as he wipes the milk off with the sheet, "Hey, even chocolate milk does a body good."

I just shake my head as I chuckle, "It sure as hell did your body good, darlin."

And then I'm thinkin that chocolate milk and donut holes sound pretty fuckin good. So, I stub out my cigarette and set the coffee to the side as I scoot down to the end of the bed with him, "Hey baby, wanna share?"

He pretends to think and shakes his head, "I don't know, Jay, I don't play well with others…but for you I suppose I'll make an exception."

He hands me his chocolate milk and scooches the box of donut holes over. I smile as I take the bottle, "Thanks, sugar, that's real sweet."

He keeps up his serious composure as he says, "A man doesn't just share his chocolate milk with anyone, ya know."

I just laugh as I take a drink and he smiles and turns back to the TV. We lay there for about an hour, eatin and watchin Spongebob…and it's the most fun I've had in a long fuckin time.

We finally drag our sorry asses outta bed and go shower and get our stuff together. Before long, we're on the road again, flyin down the highway.

And I'm havin the time of my life watchin Eddie drivin and singin to the radio…carefree and happier than I think I've ever seen him. As bad as our time apart was, I can't help but feel that maybe something good came from it cuz Edward seems a lot…freer.

And it's really fuckin beautiful.

His good mood rubs off on me and all thoughts of yesterday are pushed aside as we drive and talk and laugh…a lot.

Soon, we're passin the "You're now leaving Texas" sign and we both hoot and holler as we pass through to Oklahoma.

_Who'da ever thunk that anyone could be so fuckin excited to be in Oklahoma?_

We stop a few times to pick up snacks at the gas station and hit a couple fast food joints, but mostly we stay on the road. We take turns drivin and when nightfall starts to come around, we pull over to a rest stop and make our second call to Carlisle for the evenin.

Eddie starts this round of drivin and I'm layin back in my seat watchin the stars pass by through the moon hole and enjoyin the peacefulness of it all…when he shouts, "Look! A carnival! Let's stop!"

I laugh as I look out the window and see the bright lights of a small town carnival off the highway.

"Really, Eddie?"

He nods his head vigorously, "Yeah…I've never been to one before…"

I sit up and look over at his excited face, "Really?"

His smile fades a little and he looks at me for a moment before turnin back to the road, "Jasper…before I met you…I would barely leave my room. Do you remember the first time we went to the movies together and saw Transformers?"

I smile and nod, "Yeah…a couple weeks after we met."

He sighs, "That was the first movie I had ever went to see. Or when you took me skating for the 4th of July that year…that was a first for me too. And when we went to play laser tag…also a first. Jesus, Jay…practically every first I've ever had is with you. You…made me not so afraid of the world that existed beyond those walls. I owe my whole life to you."

_Fuck…I love this boy…_

I reach over and pop open the button on his jeans and he gasps, "What are you doing?"

I smile as I lean over and unzip them before pullin out his awakenin cock, "Another first, darlin. Road head."

He whispers, "Road head?"

I smile and nod, "Yup, now keep your eyes on the road, Eddie."

He grips the steerin wheel with both hands as I lean down over the console and take his cock down my throat, wastin no time as I start suckin it like the skin off a rattlesnake.

He shakily moans, "Oh my God…"

I use all my many talents as I suck on the head…hollow my cheeks…run that steel stud across the slit and along that throbbin vein…I hum and rotate between fast and hard…soft and slow…until his knuckles are turnin white as he grips onto that wheel.

His hips buck as he moans, "Oh…oh…ohmyfuckingod…"

He comes deep down my throat and suck it all down like the champ I am, then pull away and tuck his shit back in and button and zip his jeans again.

He pulls into the open field that is the makeshift parkin lot for the carnival and just collapses against his seat the second he turns the car off.

His breathin is still heavy as he lies there flushed and sweaty and all fuckin sexy and shit.

He finally turns to me and smiles, "Road head…is fucking awesome."

I laugh as he pulls me to him in a soft, sweet kiss and whispers his thanks.

We hop outta the car and I'm still kinda surprised when he grabs my hand and pulls me along.

People are starin at us and makin their snide remarks but we don't fuckin care. Edward's like a kid at a candy store and it's so much fun to watch him…it's kinda like my first time too when I see how excited he is.

We play some games and I'm real fuckin good at that shootin game where ya gotta shoot the movin targets. So, I win him a little stuffed black bear with plastic honey all over it and a little plastic bee on it's pink nose.

I think he might be kinda embarrassed but instead he smiles and hugs it to him before reaching over and givin me a kiss in front of everyone.

We walk around and I smile, "Have ya ever had an elephant ear?"

He looks at me with a quirked eyebrow, "Is that like…a southern thing? Because after I saw the pig's feet at that restaurant back in Texas…no way, no how am I eating an elephant's ear."

I start laughin my ass off and shake my head, "It ain't really an ear, Edward! It's like a dessert…"

His cheeks turn crimson and he shrugs, "Well, how I was supposed to know? I mean, you guys do eat pig's feet and stuff."

I wipe the tears from my eyes as I pull him close and wrap my arms around his waist, "Aww…baby, you're just too fuckin cute for words…ya know that?"

He smiles and blushes again as I bring my lips to his and taste my beautiful boy.

We find a food stand and get an elephant ear…which he fuckin loves. We also eat some barbecued ribs and corn on the cob and cotton candy.

_Then, _we decide to ride rides.

Edward jokes, "We ride till one or both of us puke."

I just shake my head and follow him onto the Himalayan. It goes forwards and backwards and spins around as really loud music plays and lights flash.

He has a fuckin blast and I'm just havin a fuckin blast watchin him. It turns out that we both must have stomachs of steel cuz neither one of us get sick as we ride every fuckin ride in the whole damn carnival.

We then head over the Funhouse and I experiment with the mirrors that make me look short and fat. I laugh, "Hey Eddie, C'mere."

He walks over and I smile, "So, this is how I'm probably gonna look when I'm old…ya still gonna love me?"

He smirks, "You're seriously going to shrink like two feet?"

I roll my eyes and laugh.

He then comes up behind me wraps his arms around my waist. His hands push their way up underneath my shirt as he begins tracin my muscles with his soft touch. He's lookin over my shoulder in the mirror as he whispers, "Understand this, Jasper…I will _always _want you more than anything. I will _always _need you more than air. I will _always fucking _love you."

My breathin hitches as I feel his warm body against mine and the truth in his words wash through me.

_He knows this ain't ever gonna be over too…_

He kisses my neck softly and then smiles in the mirror, "Besides…this is how I'm going to look and you're stuck with me, Jay. Forever's a long time."

I turn my head and take his soft lips to mine as I whisper, "Not long enough."

We play around a little longer until we finally decide to call it a night cuz we still gotta drive to a motel somewhere and check in.

As we're walkin away from the carnival and back to the car, I can hear the familiar taunts and snickers from some of the same guys we had been hearin all night.

I immediately begin checkin out our surroundings cuz I have a real bad feelin about this.

Edward notices too cuz he leans over and whispers, "There's four of them, Jay. They're following us."

I give a small nod and whisper, "I know, Edward…I gotta think of something…we can't fight…we're minors and I'm kind of a runaway so if the cops get involved, I'm goin back to Texas. There's gotta be someway outta this…or else, we fight like hell then skirt the fuck outta here quicker than shit."

We keep walkin as my mind races…tryin to think of the best course of action.

Edward sighs when we're close to the car, "The baseball bat's still in the back seat. I've got an idea. Trust me?"

I nod without a moment's hesitation cuz I do trust Edward with my whole fuckin life.

He smiles before he turns to me and screams, "No Jay! He fucking told me to do it! I've got to do it! When a demon tells you to do something, you fuckin do it!"

I caught on quickly and thought to myself what a brilliant mother fucker my boyfriend and future husband was.

I yelled back as his head whipped around like he was following something, "Edward, look! You just got outta the fuckin psych ward for this shit! You can't do what these fuckin demons tell you to do! It's bad, remember?! You could kill somebody! You almost have!"

He shakes his head and looks off into the night like he sees something there. And then he begins arguing with air, "I know you want me to do that but Jay's arguing with me! How the hell can I?! But I don't want to go back to the fucking hospital! Why is it always your way?! Fine! Fine! Just fuck it! I'll fucking do it! God damn it! Jay, hold my fuckin bear!"

He hands me the stuffed bear as he yanks open the car door and pulls out the baseball bat. He takes a couple swings like he's practicing and I just sigh, "Fine, Eddie. We're in this shit together. If you're goin back to the psych ward…I'm goin back to jail."

I hit the button to pop open the trunk and pull out a crow bar, leavin the stuffed bear safe inside.

I shut the trunk and we both turn to see the fuckers standin there starin at us like they weren't quite sure if they should keep talkin shit or not.

Edward's eyes are bright and wild as I step by his side. I smile at him, "Love you, darlin."

He smiles back, "Love you too, Jay. I'll take the two on the left…you've got the right…"

Then he points the bat to the non existent demon and shouts, "You shut the fuck up! I'm fucking doing it! I'll pick which ones I want!"

Then he turns back and mutters, "God damn bossy ass mother fucking demon…"

We raise our weapons…and the assholes run off mumblin somethin bout a couple of ape shit loony fags with weapons.

Once they take off, I look at Edward who lets out a huge breath and smiles, "Thank God that worked. Guess they knew better than to mess with a couple of crazy gay white boys that argue with demons and threatens to go Jose Conseco on their asses."

I shake my head and laugh as I put the crow bar back in the trunk and retrieve Edward's bear. He takes it and snuggles it as he gives me a kiss.

He throws his bat in the back seat and slides into the passenger seat. I watch his eyes linger for a moment and a faint blush come to his cheeks and I smile cuz I know he's rememberin our first time.

A few minutes later, we're back on the road. We drive for about another hour 'fore gettin a room. Once we shower and fool around a little, we lay down in bed and talk. And thoughts of mama creep back into my head, even though I don't want them too.

But he interrupts my thoughts when he grabs his wallet on the nightstand and hands me a piece of paper from it.

I notice it's some sort of newspaper clippin and I start to say, "What's thi…"

Until I see that it's from a Chicago newspaper and a picture of a two story house…with a window on the side, painted black.

'The House of Horrors.'

I read the article that described the events that took place and the allegations of prior abuse and neglect.

I looked over to Edward and he sighed, "I think I want to go there, Jay…see if it's still standing…maybe visit my mother's grave."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and folded the article back up, then handed it to him, "Edward? You've been doin so good…are you sure that's a good idea?"

He was quiet for a moment before his soft green eyes raised to mine, "Jay? The article called it 'The House of Horrors,' and it was. I held onto so much fear in that house that I think if I can just see it once more…just see that it wasn't…"

He groaned and mumbled, "God this is going to sound stupid."

I lifted his chin back up and whispered, "Tell me."

He sighed, "I always thought…that maybe the house was…possessed or something. You know, like Amityville. Anyway, if I can see that it's just a regular house and if you're with me so I don't feel afraid of being there…I think it will help me, Jay. So, can we go?"

I didn't know if it was a good idea or not but I told myself that I would never deny Edward anything he ever asked for again so I reluctantly nodded, "Yeah, baby…we can go."

He smiled and kissed me softly, "Thanks, babe."

We talked for a little longer about how much fun we had at the carnival before goin to sleep cuz we didn't want bad stuff on our minds as we drifted off. But my mind drifted anyway…

_Indiana's on the way to Michigan…maybe I could talk to mama…_


	31. Chapter 31

**Okay, sorry about the longer than usual wait time…real life has been a heinous bitch this week.**

**I have a great fic to recommend…it's called Jungle by Dilmn8...it's not too far into the story yet but I'm loving it. Jasper is a dancer at a club and Edward is a vamp…seriously, what could be fuckin better than that?!**

**I also want to say a HUGE thanks to everyone who voted for LL at the slashy awards! We took six categories! Best Blow Job/Rim Job, Best Dry Hump, Best First Time, Best Hand Job, Sweetest I Love You, and Best Work In Progress!**

**I was blown away you guys, so thanks!**

**Playlist : House of 1000 Corpses by Rob Zombie**

**Edward's POV**

I was exhausted after driving all day and from the carnival. That had been a lot of fun for me. It was so effortless with Jasper to just be me and let loose. We could run around, playing games and riding rides…just hanging out and being best friends…then, we could have our special little moments that were reserved for lovers of the most intimate kind.

And Jasper was just that…my cool, fun best friend in the whole world…and my loving, caring soul mate. I had never known that love could be as complete as ours was.

I was worried when those men had been following us at the carnival because I knew how Jasper's temper was and the thought of him losing it, terrified me because of the repercussions. However, he surprised me.

He had thought it through logically instead of acting impulsively. He said he didn't want to fight because he knew that he could go back to Texas if things went bad. He had really learned his lesson.

So, I felt like it was my time to step up to the bat…so to speak.

I think that when people call you and treat you like you're crazy, you believe them. But once you come to an understanding with yourself…embrace your craziness…then you find that it's not such a bad thing. I was different from everyone else…a classic freak by my peers…but I didn't see that as a bad thing anymore. I liked that I was different because it made me unique and strong and smart. I liked me now.

And that was all thanks to the beautiful blue eyed boy who gave me a chance and asked me to play some ball with him.

Funny how things work out sometimes.

Sleep found me easily as I listened to my favorite lullaby.

* * *

_Oh God that feels so good…so good…oh God…don't stop…don't stop…ugh…_

My sleepy eyes part for just a moment as I gasp for air at the feeling of Jay's hard, thick erection rubbing against my backside. I squeeze my eyes shut and groan as he presses me face down into the mattress, my own erection grinding into the mattress as he grinds behind me.

I move my face to the side so I can breathe as I moan, "Feels so good, Jay…"

He grunts but doesn't say a word as he pins me to the mattress and continues rolling his hips against my ass to the point that I'm begging, "Oh God, Jay…just fuck me…please baby…please…"

He mumbles something unintelligible as his grip tightens on my shoulders and his boxer clad steel cock slides up and down my pajama clad ass.

So, I beg again as my sleepy hazy mind reels from the raw lustful attack my sexy angel is releasing upon me, "_Please_, Jay…fuck me, baby…I need you…_please_…"

His hot breath is against my neck as he mumbles, "Mmm…so fuckin tight…feels so fuckin good…"

And something is off, so my eyes snap open and I turn my head to look into his baby blues…only, his eyes are shut.

_Is he even awake?_

"Jay? Jay, baby, you awake?"

He groans and mumbles against my shoulder, "Mmm…love fuckin your squishy ass…ya want it harder, Eddie?"

And I bury my face for a moment as I start laughing because Jasper is fast asleep, dreaming of fucking me, and currently dry humping the hell out of my ass.

But my laughter is quickly replaced with a throaty moan as his fingers dig into my hips and he starts pounding against me relentlessly.

_Holy fuck…should I wake him? How the hell is he still sleeping?_

My dick is throbbing now as the mattress is not providing the kind of friction I need. He pulls me up on all fours and my mind is clouded with wanton desire as he grunts and growls.

I lean forward with one arm and reach the other down to wrap around my length so that I can relieve the tension myself.

I start working my hand up and down my hard aching cock as he pounds into me from behind. I match my thrusts with his own and all too soon I feel him collapse against me with a strangled, "Edward…"

I'm still hard as hell and throbbing with a vengeance as he rolls off of me, onto his back. His shallow panting is starting to subside as he smiles, still with his eyes closed and mumbles, "Holy shit…fuckin…incredible…get some hot wings…breadsticks …fuckin love you, pretty boy…"

And even though I'm extremely sexually frustrated right now…I laugh because he's really cute when he talks in his sleep…

But now, I need relief.

I think for a moment about waking him up but, he's already cum and really happy in his little wet dream so I don't want to disturb him.

Then I think about taking a shower and relieving myself that way but it's 3 in the morning and I don't really want to get wet.

So, I just turn to my side and look at his beautiful sleeping face. His cheeks are still flushed from his exertion…his pink lips are slightly parted as his breathing has finally evened out…and his golden curls are hanging loosely over his eyes.

He's simply breathtaking and all the inspiration I need as I reach down and pull my throbbing length out and begin slowly pumping it.

My hungry eyes rake over his half naked form and my dick twitches at the sight of his strong, lean chest…that mouth watering V that disappears inside his boxers…the rise and fall of his tight stomach as he breathes.

I rub my thumb over the slit and spread the wetness from the tip around as I continue softly stroking myself as I watch him sleep.

A small whimper escapes my lips as he reaches down and adjusts himself in his sleep so I bite my lip to stifle it. I roll over on my back but keep my eyes on him as I pleasure myself.

My mind wanders to thoughts of him inside of me…his hard length filling me as he makes love to me for the very first time.

I'll admit that I'm a little scared because…well, I don't want to think about why I'm scared. The important thing is that I know Jay would never hurt me. He would make me feel incredible and special and loved. Even if there was a little pain…he would overshadow it with pleasure.

And with those images in my mind of his sweaty, hard body above me…his midnight eyes intense as they gaze into mine…his golden curls damp from his love making and hanging down as he hovers above me…and the intense pure love that would radiate from his body to mine…it doesn't take me long until I cry out his name and cum hard all onto my stomach.

I barely have the energy to wipe myself off with the corner of the sheet before I'm out like a light.

* * *

I awake to a groan and open my sleepy eyes to see Jay's head lying on my stomach. His pretty blue eyes open and he smiles, "Mornin, darlin."

I smile back, "Good morning, babe."

He raises his head and immediately brings his hand up to his cheek with a confused look, "Why am I so sticky?"

My cheeks begin to burn as I remember our little midnight escapade.

Then he pulls open his boxers and furrows his brows, "Uh…Edward? Did we um…fool around last night?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose because the thought of telling him that I masturbated next to him while watching him sleep…yeah, that's not at all creepy.

I feel his hand on my shoulder and his honey voice still rough laced with sleep, "Eddie? What's wrong?"

I sigh and keep my eyes shut, "Um…you were…and then I was…and then I couldn't…and um…"

He lifted my chin up and whispered, "Breathe, baby. Calm down and try again."

I opened my eyes and sucked in a sharp breath before just spilling, "I woke up to you humping my ass in your sleep and I really liked it and then you pulled me up on my knees and dry fucked the hell out of me but you came and I didn't so you fell asleep and I…um…I jerked off and fell asleep."

He just stared at me for a moment before I saw his lips start to curl up and soon he was full on laughing.

I pulled the blanket over my head to hide me from my embarrassment.

He tried to pull it off but I fought to hold it. He was still laughing, "Eddie…don't be mad…c'mon, baby…it's just funny…"

Now I let him yank the blanket off while I scowled, "I jerked off while you slept next to me…that's not funny…it's creepy…"

Now he was howling in laughter as he reached over and grabbed his cigarettes, "Eddie? Seriously, you're embarrassed? Dude, I'm the one that had a wet dream and humped you like a damn dog! And so what that you jerked off next to me…I've musta done it like a hundred times before!"

Now my brows furrowed as I whispered, "Really?"

He nodded and put his arm around my shoulder, bringing me to sit next to him, "Yep…after we started kissin every night…I used to lie and watch you sleep sometimes. I'd get so worked up from makin out with you…and when I watched you sleep…you were so…fuckin beautiful…I couldn't help myself. Still can't."

He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. He always made me feel better, even in the most awkward of situations.

We finally dragged ourselves out of bed and showered before gathering our things and hitting the road. I remembered that I needed to call Dr. Greene for our appointment today so I had Jasper drive so I could do that.

Dr. Greene asked if I was comfortable talking in the car with Jasper and I just laughed because Jay knew more about my messed up head than anybody and he never judged me.

So, we talked about the carnival and what happened. He laughed his ass off. Then we talked about how I was feeling being out in the real world. I found it funny that I hadn't even once been apprehensive about being so far away from home. I guess that being with Jay was enough to make me feel safe so I wasn't bogged down with the worries of being out on my own because I really wasn't. Besides, Jay _was _my home.

Once our hour was up, he asked to speak to Jasper so I handed him the phone, "Dr. Greene wants to talk to you?"

He furrowed his brows as he took the phone, "Uh…hello?"

I watched him as he spoke, "Seriously? Now?"

Then he sighed and pulled over at a gas station. He looked over at me and half smiled, "He wants to talk to me like he does you. Can you drive for awhile?"

I nodded and asked, "Yeah, I'm going in for some chocolate milk and glazed donuts…want coffee or something?"

Now his dimpled smile returned, "Chocolate milk sounds good and chocolate donuts for me. Thanks, Eddie."

_The boy and his chocolate…at least he's not drinking coffee like a 40 year old…_

I just smiled and went in to get our morning breakfast. I also got a bunch of snacks because my man likes to eat and I like to keep my man happy. I got my favorites, Funyuns and Skittles, and I got him barbecue pork rinds (yuck), beef jerky, and M&M's.

We should be good for a few hours.

I drove as he talked with Dr. Greene. They talked about Texas mostly and what Jasper had been going through since leaving Forks. It was difficult to hear but I was glad that he felt comfortable talking in front of me as well.

Once they hung up the phone, Jasper had said that he agreed to talk with the Doc twice a week, after I did and I was happy about that because the Doc had helped me out tremendously so I was sure he would be a positive influence on Jay.

We drove for hours that day but the time passed quickly as we sang to the radio or music off of our IPOD's. Our nighttime escapades were incredible but I kind of wondered how Jasper was feeling about…me taking my turn on bottom.

He never brought it up but again that night, I woke up to him rubbing himself against my backside, muttering about how good I felt and how long he had wanted me.

And I wanted him…I really did but…I was still a little scared. I knew it was irrational and it wasn't fair to him that I hadn't…um…bottomed yet. So, as we drove through Missouri the next night, I felt I had to ask.

I looked over at him while I was driving and he was leaning back in his seat, with his feet up on the dash and his ball cap pulled down over his eyes.

"Um…Jay? You asleep?"

He lifted the cap up a little and smiled at me, "No. What's up, darlin?"

I couldn't help but smile back nervously as I took a deep breath, "Well, I was…um…wondering something…"

He looked at me concerned now as I stumbled over my words a bit, "What's wrong, Eddie?"

I noticed my hands were shaking and turning white as I gripped onto the steering wheel for dear life. I had no idea why I was so nervous.

"Um…do you…um…do you want to…uh…do you want me on bottom?"

My chest was heaving and my palms were sweating. And then he started laughing.

"What do you think, Edward?"

I looked over at him as he flashed me his wide dimpled grin and I could see that glimmer in his eye.

His mood was always infectious to me and soon I was smiling too.

"Dumb question, I guess, huh?"

He reached down and rubbed himself through his jeans and I gulped at the sight of his long, thick cock pressing against the denim.

"Yeah, baby…I want you so bad I can barely fuckin stand it. I wanna feel how tight you are around me…I wanna feel your body clench around mine…I wanna cum deep inside you…_fuck_…Eddie, I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life…but I can wait for however long it takes. I won't push you to move before you're ready. When you're ready, you'll let me know."

I sighed as I pulled off into a motel. I turned off the car and turned to look at him, "I don't want to make you wait…I feel like I'm being unfair…selfish…"

He stopped rubbing himself and pulled his cap off. Then he sat up and smiled as he put it on my head backwards, "Eddie…it doesn't matter to me if you're _ever _ready for that. I would gladly bottom for you for the rest of my life. It would be unfair and selfish for me to push you into doing something you're not ready for. I love you, baby…everything else will work itself out so please don't worry about it. I'm sorry if my…" he actually blushed now, "…um…rampant night time humpings are making you feel pressured."

Now I laughed as I shook my head, "You're not making me feel pressured, Jay…you're actually quite the perfect gentleman…um…when you're awake anyway."

Now he laughed as he leaned forward and I cupped his cheek and whispered that I loved him before pressing my lips to his in a soft, sweet kiss.

He went and got the room for the night and I was feeling much better having talked with him about it. Part of me still felt bad and wished that I was ready…but I was really grateful to have such a wonderful boyfriend.

We made our way to our room and I double checked the directions to my old house in Chicago on Mapquest, just to be safe. We would be getting there tomorrow afternoon sometime and my stomach was in knots.

Jasper knew I was feeling on edge and I raised an eyebrow as he pulled out the lotion and smiled, "Wanna massage? Guaranteed to make ya feel better."

I smiled back and let out a breath, "That sounds wonderful, Jay. Thank you."

He shook the bottle and smiled, "Anytime, babe…now get naked."

I laughed but quickly complied and soon his strong, callused hands were rubbing every inch of my body down. I felt all the stress and worry melt away underneath his magical fingertips. I tried to fight it because I had a hard on and wanted to use it but…sleep took me first.

The next morning I was nervous as hell and Jay had to drive. When we passed into Illinois, my stomach was in knots again. We stopped a couple of times for breakfast and lunch. I noticed that even Jasper hadn't eaten nearly as much as he normally does. I was making him nervous too, apparently.

I couldn't help it…the closer we got to the house…the more I kept trying to talk myself out of it. Jasper even tried, telling me that I didn't have to do this…that it wouldn't make me weak or anything if I wanted to forget about it…but I just couldn't. My father and the events that took place in that house had ruled me my entire life…I needed to face it head on and take back control of my life. I needed to exorcize my demons.

As we entered the neighborhood, my eyes fixated on the surroundings that I missed growing up. The neighborhood was pretty bad. The houses that aligned the streets were rundown and shabby, as those who occupied them obviously had no aspirations to fix them up. Kids were running up and down the street, playing ball, riding bikes…we even saw a fight happening on a basketball court.

My eyes narrowed as they scanned the trash covered streets and sidewalks…the homeless people scattered along the alleys…alcoholics gathered outside the liquor stores smoking and drinking...teenagers and adults alike littered their front porches as they smoked joints and blunts and drank from brown paper bags.

Jasper laughed uneasily, "Shit, Edward…no wonder your dad didn't want ya to go outside…this looks like some of the fucked up neighborhoods I've lived in."

I didn't say anything as I was mesmerized by the scenery around me.

He sighed, "Sorry, Eddie…bad joke. You sure ya don't wanna just keep on going?"

I shook my head and took a sharp breath, "No."

A few minutes later, we pulled to a stop and I shut my eyes briefly before taking a deep breath. Jasper's hand gripped mine and his callused fingertips drew small circles on the back of my hand, causing me to release the breath and attempt to relax.

"This is it, Edward. Across the street."

I nodded and opened my eyes. Slowly, I leaned over him and looked out the windows. The hushed whispers and laughter started immediately as I stared at the old abandoned house in front of me.

It was two story with a small concrete porch. The steps were cracked and broken and the bushes out front covered most of the front. The house was a dark blue but the paint was chipped and peeled away, exposing the rotting wood underneath. Boards covered the windows and front door, which had numbers spray painted on it. I figured that nobody had lived there since me.

The laughter began echoing in my ears and I became agitated as I growled, "Shut the fuck up!"

Jasper jumped and looked at me strangely. I blushed at the realization that I had spoken that aloud, "Um…I wasn't talking to you, Jay."

He audibly gulped and nodded as his hand squeezed mine tighter, "Okay…well, you've seen it, Edward…let's get outta here."

He turned the key in the ignition but I quickly ripped my hand away from his and jumped out of the car. The shadows were taunting me…

_Welcome home, Edward Anthony Masen Jr.…_

I muttered softly as I fixated on the decrepit old house, "I'm Edward Cullen…"

More laughter…

_Come on in, Edward…unless you're too afraid…weak…pathetic…_

My heart was racing and my palms were sweating but I managed to whisper, "I'm n…not afraid…"

Before I could stop myself, I was running across the street and up the broken steps. I felt two arms slide around my waist and I quickly turned and shoved the assailant.

Then my breath hitched as Jasper stumbled back and looked at me with a hurt expression on his beautiful face.

"Fuck…I'm so sorry, Jay…I don't know what I was thinking…I was just…"

He approached me more cautiously this time and I felt horrible. He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled my body flush with his. His other hand came up and brushed against my cheek as he stared intently into my eyes, "Edward?"

I nodded as my breathing became labored and my heart was speeding up even more, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…"

He didn't look convinced as he brushed his fingers through the hair on my forehead and pushed it back, "What are you doing, Edward?"

I swallowed as my throat suddenly felt very dry and scratchy, "Um…I want to go in."

His eyes widened and before I could register what happened he muttered, "Oh hell no…" and threw my over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

I started squirming, "Jasper! Put me down!"

He just tightened his hold on me, "Ain't no fuckin way I'm letting you go in that god damn house, Edward."

_Weak…pathetic…never fights back…_

My head whipped around to see the shadow streak across the windows on the upper floor. I was starting to get pissed now, "God damn it, Jay! Put. Me. Down!"

He grabbed me and plopped me down on the hood of my car as he gripped my hips so tight I was sure they would bruise, "You are _not _going in that fucking house! Look at you, Edward! You're already talking to them! You fuckin see them too, don't you?!"

Jasper was angry but…his hands were shaking like crazy. I looked into his eyes and tried to ignore the whispers around me. His beautiful blue eyes were starting to become glossy…I was making him sad again.

I lowered my eyes to the ground before closing them. I couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes.

I needed to regain control of myself. My arms went around his neck and pulled him to me. I whispered, "I'm sorry, Jay. I lost it for a second. Just give me a few minutes to get myself back together again, okay?"

He held me tight and whispered into my neck, "It's okay, Eddie. None of it's real, baby. No one's gonna hurt you. You don't have anything to prove."

He whispered this mantra to me over and over as I focused on his words and the scent of his honey breath that seemed to completely envelop me.

He rocked me gently and a few minutes later, my heart was slowed down to a normal pace and my breathing was even again. The whispers and laughter were still there but they were very faint and easy to ignore.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes, "Edward?"

I nodded, "I'm okay Jay…I'm okay…"

He let out a breath and nodded, "Okay, baby…let's get outta here."

I shook my head, "No, Jay. They're going to demolish this house soon. I saw the notice on the door. This is the only chance I will ever have of going in there and facing this. Please, Jasper…just come with me."

He groaned and turned to look at the house.

"Edward…you've been doing so good…I'm so worried bout what this is gonna do to you…"

I cupped his cheek and he turned back to look at me, "I know you're worried, Jay but I have to do this…for my own sanity, I have to face this…just like you faced the truth about your parents, Love…I have to face the truth about my past. I'm going in…just please come with me."

He took a deep breath and sighed, "Okay, Edward but if you start panicking, I'm dragging your ass back out here and we're leaving."

I nodded, "Okay, Jay. Thanks."

He took my hand in his and we made our way back up to the house.

He looked around for a little bit and said, "We ain't gonna get in this way, we might have to try round back."

Still holding my hand, he led me around the side of the house. I gasped as I looked up and saw the small black window facing the old tree. He stopped and followed my eyes upward to the window.

Together, we both just stood there and stared at it for quite some time.

The laughter was growing louder so I shut my eyes and shook my head to try and dispel them. I felt Jay squeeze my hand a little and my eyes snapped open to his.

"You okay, babe?"

I nodded, "Yeah…c'mon, let's go."

We kept on going around to the back of the house. I stopped again as I looked at the gravel driveway and old worn down garage that led to the alley.

Visions of blackened skies and thunderous rain started to cloud my vision and soon the image of an old maroon rust bucket invaded my mind. I felt the thick mud underneath my toes as they stuck out from the faded blue pajamas.

_So cold…_

I shivered as my breath shone into the night sky from the intense cold. The screams were growing louder as the demon yelled for me to come to him.

"Edward?"

The voice of my angel snapped me back to reality and suddenly I was standing there with him as the bright sun shone down upon us.

_I'm okay…it's all over…it wasn't real…_

I nodded at Jay and forced a smile this time, "Yeah, Jay…I'm okay. Please don't worry."

"There's a door…I think I can get through that," Jasper dropped my hand and walked up the back porch to the back door that led to the kitchen. There was a small window next to the door. The door only had a few boards nailed across it and I watched as he tried to pull them off. I finally took a breath and began helping him but we couldn't get them off.

He sighed and ran his hand through his golden curls, "Maybe I can go in through the window and kick it open."

I nodded as he started pushing on the window until it eventually began going up.

"Stay right here, Edward."

I nodded again as I watched him shimmy through the window. Once he was in, he stuck his head back through the window, "Get off the porch, I'm gonna try and kick the door open."

I ran down the steps and into the grass. I heard the loud thud as he began kicking the door. The third kick, the door splintered and broke open.

I ran up the steps and began pulling the pieces away until I could get through. I gasped when I saw blood seeping from his side through his shirt.

"Jay? You hurt yourself."

He looked down and shrugged, "It's no big deal, Edward."

He pulled his shirt off and wiped away at the cut. It wasn't that deep but it was long. I sighed, "Shit, Jay, I'm sorry you were hurt…"

He just smiled, "Edward, it's a scratch, really babe, no big deal."

He threw his shirt over his shoulder and I gasped as my eyes took in the sight before me. The kitchen table was still there. Chairs were lying on the floor. The floor was littered in trash and dust.

My eyes drifted over the wooden floor until it fell upon the discoloration.

_Bleach…_

_My mother's lifeless eyes…_

_The demon screaming at me, "Scrub the floor, Edward! Get it clean! Cleanliness is next to Godliness and we will have no wickedness in this house!"_

I gasped as the smell of bleach assaulted my senses and I felt like I was choking. Quickly, Jasper pulled me to him and kissed me fiercely…soon, the scent of honey overpowered the bleach and I was able to kiss him back.

I pulled away panting and whispering my thanks to him.

He just nodded, "No problem, babe."

I looked around and marveled at how much everything had stayed the same. Even the same paintings were hanging on the walls. The same curtains. Slowly, I crept to the cupboard and pulled it open.

The same plates and cups adorned the shelves. Shakily I reached up and ran my fingertips along one of the glasses.

A moment later, the sound of the glass crashing into the ground jarred me and I gasp as I seek shelter quickly and crouch down underneath the kitchen table. I pull my knees to my chin and rock back and forth as the screaming echoes in my ears. My toes are freezing and my body starts to shiver as the cold permeates through me.

I hear the 'slice' of the knife…the flesh tearing open…my mother's terrified shrieks as the devil's belligerent screams resonate through my whole body…

My eyes are watering…burning as I look out and see the dark crimson blood flowing from my mother like rivers of satin cascading across the floor. The gleam of the knife causes my eyes to shut for just a moment but when they open again…all I see are baby blue eyes looking into mine.

He whispers, "Don't look, Edward. Keep your eyes on mine."

I can see the dark outline of his wings as he turns briefly to bring himself underneath the table with me.

I whisper, "He'll see you…"

His eyes are glossy but he never falters as he leans forward and whispers, "Don't be afraid, Edward. Luke 22:43."

I gasp and whisper, "An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him."

He nodded and we just stared into each other's eyes intently.

The screaming begins to fade and the warmth comes back to my body as I take in deep breaths.

I shake the cloudy visions from my head and stare at my angel, "Jasper."

He lets out a breath and pulls me into a hug. He holds me for awhile and I feel safe and warm in his arms. Eventually, he pulls away and I smile, "Thank you, Jay."

He smiles back, "Anytime, Eddie."

And then I ask, "How did you know that bible verse?"

His cheeks begin to darken as he grins widely, "Your journal. You said that I could read it anytime I wanted, so I have a few times when you're asleep and stuff. I hope you're not mad."

I shake my head, "No, baby, I'm not mad. Thanks for caring enough to want to take a peek inside my head. That's a pretty scary place to be."

He brushes his fingertips along my cheek and whispers, "I think it's really fuckin beautiful, Edward."

I smile and relish in the warm, callused tips of his fingers.

I glance up and sigh as I bring my hand up and glide my fingers along the bottom of the table above me, "If I would've had your kitchen table, Jay…I would've had hundreds of angels above me that night."

His fingers cover mine as he gently clenches my hand and pulls it to his lips, "I'm here now, Edward. I'm the only angel you need."

I smile at the truth in his words.

"C'mon, darlin…let's get off the floor."

I nod and we both scramble from underneath the table.

"You ready to leave yet, Edward?"

I shake my head as I begin slowly walking down the short hallway into the living area. Now Jasper gasps as he takes in the surrounding, "_Fuck_, Edward…this is…crazy…"

I nod as I stare at all of the crosses hanging on the walls. Pictures of Jesus' crucifixion…the Last Supper…various bible verses and hundreds of crosses adorned the walls and tables. Some things were missing or broken on the floor but a lot of it was still there.

Jasper walked over to a broken picture on the floor and crouched down. I knew which picture it was by the audible gulp and the way his eyes fixated on the image.

I spoke softly, "My parents grew up in church together. They started dating when they were seventeen. That's a picture of them at their prom."

His wide eyes looked up at me and I knew what he was thinking, "Jasper…I know my father and I look identical. It's…scary, huh?"

My heart was racing…

_Please don't be afraid of me, Jay…_

He dropped the picture and stood in front of me, placing his strong hands on my shoulders, "Edward…you are _not _your father."

I sighed, "No…I am my father's son. Psalms 106:37...They sacrificed their sons and their daughters to demons."

He furrowed his brows, "You don't believe that, do you? You know all of this stuff is in your head, Edward. It's not real."

I nodded, "I know, Jay."

_That's easy to say when you're not the one who sees and smells and hears them speaking to you… _

My eyes fell to the end table. An old dusty Bible lay there. It was my mother's. Carefully, I picked it up and ran my fingertips over the embossed lettering.

I sighed as I opened it up and the pages fell open to Matthew 12. I whispered verses 43 and 44...

"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left…"

The shadow streaked by me again and I closed my eyes.

The chill took me over as goose bumps began to rise all over my skin. I heard the whispering as if it were standing right behind me.

"_Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." _

I shuddered and whispered back to the devil at my ear, "1st Peter, Chapter 5, Verse 8."

I could feel the streaks of cold air whip by me as they danced around laughing as my eyes began to tear.

I heard my mother's gargled screams, "Run, Edward!"

I looked down at my freezing toes that stuck through the feet of those dirty blue pajamas then back to the kitchen.

The red satin ribbons covered her body as her eyes bore into mine. Her screams were louder this time, "Run, Edward! Hide!"

So, I obeyed my mother.

I took off for the staircase that led to my room upstairs…my refuge.

The stairs creaked and moaned underneath my icy feet. My doorway was to the right of the staircase…if only I could make it.

The demon was chasing me but I ran faster. A moment later, I slammed my door shut and quickly locked it. I ran to my nightstand and pulled out the long piece of rusted metal, jamming it into the frame of the door to keep the demon out.

Then the door began to pound and vibrate. He was trying his best to get in.

I threw my hands over my ears so that I wouldn't hear his pleas to let him in. I crawled onto my bed and huddled in the corner. I kept saying to myself over and over again…

"Daniel 4:13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven…please, God…send me an angel…please protect me…"

A few minutes later, the banging on the door ceased…but I knew this wasn't over yet so I was much too frightened to open the door and leave my room.

I continued my pleas to God as I rocked back and forth…

"Daniel 4:13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven…please, God…send me an angel…please protect me…"

And then…I heard scratching at the window…but I wasn't afraid.

I pulled my hands away from ears and ever so slowly crept over to the window. I watched in amazement as the paint was being frantically scratched away.

A streak of sunlight broke through and I gasped at the warmth that now shone across my face.

More and more light continued to break through as the paint was peeled away.

Then I saw him.

He was perched upon a branch outside my window.

Golden curls blew lightly in the breeze…sky blue eyes stared into mine…he turned for a moment and saw the dark outline of wings against his tan back.

_My angel…God sent me an angel…_

He turned back and pressed his palm to the window and I studied his calloused fingertips carefully and saw the black paint embedded underneath his fingernails.

Slowly, my hand rose and pressed against his through the glass. The warmth that radiated from it was heavenly.

He smiled a beautiful dimpled grin and the corner of my mouth turned up in a crooked smile. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Then I heard the banging at the door again. My head turned and I gasped and began to stumble backwards as the demon stood now in my room, hovering above me.

I quickly flashed my eyes to my angel who was now beating against the glass, his lips moving but I couldn't hear anything but the demon screaming.

"Edward Anthony Masen! When I tell you to come…you come! Disrespecting your father is pure wickedness! You are an evil, wicked child!"

I just shook my head as my strangled sobs prevented me from speaking and I continued backing up.

The shattering glass from the window caught my attention as I looked over and saw my angel, struggling to break all the glass away and crawl through.

The shards of glass shimmered in the sunlight.

The demon looked down at the glimmering pieces of glass and his face twisted into a sadistic smile…

_If you want me gone, Edward…you know what to do…_

I was shaking as I crawled on my hands and knees to the broken shards. I didn't want this but I had to release him…I had no other choice.

I picked up a large piece of glass and closed my eyes as it hovered above my wrist.

"Edward, stop!"

My eyes flashed open and there stood my angel. He kneeled down before me and slid his rough fingers over mine, taking the glass from me and setting it down beside us.

He whispered, "Matthew 4:11."

I looked around and saw that my room was bear…no demons in sight…no whispers…no screams…only the smell of pure sticky honey encompassed me.

I smiled and whispered, "Then the devil left him, and angels came to take care of him."

He nodded, "He's gone, baby…he will _never _come back again. Exodus 23:20."

I ran my fingertips down his cheek and whispered, "See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared."

Again, he nodded, "The place I have prepared for you, Edward…is right by my side. You and me…we're gonna walk out of this house, side by side, and leave the demons behind."

_My beautiful angel saved me…my angel Jasper…Jasper…Jay…_

I threw my arms around his neck and he pulled me close. I whispered as I cried against his shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Jay…I did it again…I'm so sorry…"

He held me tight and kissed below my ear, "It's okay, baby…it's all over now. Are you okay?"

I nodded and pulled away, "I am now. I'm really okay this time. Thanks, Jay."

He smiled, "Can we get outta here now?"

I nodded, "Yeah…let's go."

We stood up and I walked over to the window and looked out. Turns out my view would've been of the brick building beside me so I guess I wasn't missing much.

I walked over to my nightstand and opened the drawer. I couldn't believe that my Bible and Winnie the Pooh were still there. I smiled as I pulled out Winnie the Pooh and shut the drawer back.

He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged, "Maybe our kids will like it someday."

He broke out into a beautiful dimpled grin, "I thought you didn't want kids."

I smiled back, "I don't want biological children but…families aren't made of flesh and blood. Who knows what will happen in the future."

He held out his hand and I took it.

We pulled out the metal in the door and opened it up. As we got ready to walk down the stairs, I remembered something.

"Wait a second, Jay."

I turned and ran into the bedroom to the left of the stairs. He came I behind me and spoke, "What, Edward?"

I walked to the dresser and rummaged around a bit before finding what I was looking for.

The picture was dusty and damaged but I smiled as I looked at it.

He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Is that you and your mama?"

I nodded, "Yeah…I was only a year old. I don't know who took it…but I remember my mom used to look at it all the time. She was really beautiful, huh?"

He nodded and kissed my cheek, "Yeah, she was, Edward. I think you look a lot like her."

I smiled because I knew he was lying…I was the spitting image of my father…but the gesture was thoughtful anyway.

I tucked the picture inside of the book and we made our way down the stairs. We left through the front door this time…although it took a minute to tear the boards away.

And we walked out, hand in hand…side by side.

As we got in the car, he chewed on his lip for a moment.

"What is it, Jasper?"

He sighed, "I was thinking about something but I don't know if I should or not."

I furrowed my brows, "What is it, Jay?"

He looked out the window, "I was thinkin bout visiting my mama. Indiana is on the way…but I don't know."

I sighed and began running circles along the palm of his hand, "Jasper…I would give anything to speak to my mother again. Your mother is finally tied down to one spot and can't run away from you. If it were me…I'd say go and make her finally listen. Make her answer your questions. Get some peace, baby."

He nodded, "Yeah…I guess it's not like she can run from me or anything this time. Okay, thanks, Eddie."

I nodded, "Sure, Jay…um…by the way, would you mind if we took some flowers to my mother's grave, It's not very far from here."

He smiled, "Not at all, darlin."

He leaned over and kissed me softly as he whispered, "Love you, Eddie."

I whispered back, "Love you too, Jay."


	32. Chapter 32

**For those of you not reading "Southern Charm" by Meikela…go read it! It's an all human story with Dr. Edward and Jasper the Cop. Yum.**

**And to those who like vampy stories, you have to check out "Change" by Nestaron. The boys are both vamps and it begins shortly after Jazz leaves Maria and Edward is going through his rebellious period. The story line on this one is fantastic!**

**One more rec, "Said and Done," by ICMezzo. This one, Eddie is an adorably clueless vamp and Jasper is just a regular college boy who drunk dials the object of his affection and has incidents with going to the bathroom while trying to talk on the phone…really, this story makes me crack right the hell up.**

**Songs: Heaven Sent by Keisha Cole (Chopped and Screwed) on my youtube**

**Jasper's POV**

As we pulled off down the street, I didn't bother glancing back at Edward's childhood home. I was relieved to be leaving there, once and for all and thankful that the fucker was being demolished soon.

I gripped the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were turning white. It was the only way I could control my hands, that were still shaking from everything that had happened.

They ached and I'm pretty sure I was bleeding underneath my fingernails. My fingers were throbbing and burning, along with my side and shoulders, which I had scraped up pretty bad on the glass from the window.

But I tried my best not to let Edward in on the fact that I was hurting something awful right now and I was thankful that dusk was starting to set so that he couldn't see as well.

He didn't need any more stress on him and I didn't want him to harbor any guilt, which I knew he would.

We drove for just a little while, when I knew I needed to stop cuz I was about to lose it. My body ached and my mind was still all over the place.

_I almost lost him…_

I could feel my eyes beginning to burn but quickly cut off the emotions before those damn tears spilled over.

I pulled into the first gas station I saw and stopped at the pump, "Why don'tcha go in and fill up the tank, Eddie…I gotta go to the bathroom."

He nodded, "Sure, Jay."

He looked at me for a moment and I knew he was studying me. I smiled, "Would'ja grab me a Coke too, darlin?"

He smiled back and let whatever he was thinking about go, "Yeah, baby. Be back in a minute."

We jumped out and I went into the bathroom as he went into the gas station.

Luckily, it was a one person restroom so I was able to lock the door behind me.

I walked over to the sink and turned on the cold water. I held my hands underneath it and hissed as they burned. I was right, I was bleeding from underneath my fingernails and that shit hurt like a son of a bitch.

Everything weighed heavily on me as anger and fear bubbled inside me until I cradled my face into my hands and screamed to try and let it out. When that didn't work, I hit the wall until the pain brought me to my knees.

Now my left hand was bleeding as well but I knew that nothing was broken. I was rocking back and forth on my knees, trying to calm myself down as I sucked in deep breaths of air and clutched my hand tightly to my stomach.

I looked on my left side and noticed blood seeping through my shirt. It had dried partially and I groaned as I pulled the shirt off and it pulled at the cut and dried blood. I stood, shakily and feeling weak as I made my way back to the sink.

My eyes caught my image in the mirror and my breathing hitched as a thin line of blood began running down my chest from my shoulder.

I got my shirt wet underneath the faucet and began wiping at the blood until it was gone and then I held it firmly on my shoulder to try and stop the bleeding. My body was aching and my head was pounding.

My mind began to wander as I closed my eyes and tried to take my mind off the pain…

_I have never believed in God…or the Devil…but seeing that look of absolute terror in my beautiful boy's eyes and watching him back up along that wooden floor while looking completely haunted…I suddenly began questioning my own sanity as I briefly wondered if there really was something there that I didn't see…_

_I had never been more thankful for my dad than I had been at that moment…_

_My dad taught me two things in life…how to fight and how to prepare for war._

_The moment Edward had mentioned visiting his childhood home, I began preparing because I just knew…I knew that we were stepping into Hell and I was gonna have to go toe to toe with the Devil._

_I began searching through his journal, trying to find information that would be helpful if my baby boy should start to lose the battle and I would have to step in…_

_I read about a dream he had where I had been with him that night, only I was an angel…_

_I memorized those Bible verses, repeating them to myself over and over again until I knew them by heart so I would be prepared to be the angel he needed…_

_I figured that all of these dreams and hallucinations he had, always involved him believing and praying for an angel to come and save him…I knew that this might be my only shot of doing just that and laying these fuckin demons to rest once and for all…_

_When he took off upstairs and locked himself in his room…I went fuckin crazy and started banging on the door, tryin my best to get in there…_

_But then I pulled myself back and tried to remain calm…I figured I was probably scaring the shit out of him so I pressed my ear to the door and heard him whispering through shaky sobs, that same verse about the angel coming down from Heaven from his dream…I heard him praying for an angel to come and rescue him…_

_I knew that was my one chance…_

_So I bolted outside and around to the tree by his window. I had my shirt still tucked into the back of my jeans as I started climbing. The tree was old and I thought it might break right underneath me but there was no way I wasn't gonna make it up there to him…even if I really did have to spout wings and fuckin fly…_

_When I got to the window, I wanted to just break the glass and jump through…but I didn't know if he was near it and I remembered what his angel had done in his dream…so I began peeling and scratching the paint off with my fingernails._

_It hurt so bad as the black paint became embedded underneath them…dried and old and not coming off easily but the thought of my boy in there, scared and alone…I kept on past the pain…_

_And once enough of the paint was peeled away…I saw those beautiful green eyes staring into mine…_

_I pressed my palm to the glass and I was so releived and happy when he pressed his back to mine. _

_That beautiful crooked grin graced his face…but suddenly he jumped as his eyes turned towards the door._

_My heart was beating through my chest as I watched his eyes grow wide and all the color drain from him…he was now terrified._

_He stumbled backwards and fell onto the floor as he looked up into the air…he was crawling backwards, trying to get away from the images he saw…_

_I panicked…_

_I hit the window as the glass went flying. I almost lost my balance as the glass shattered everywhere and instinctively grabbed onto the windowsill, leaving more glass embedded into my palm this time. Then I remembered that I had my t-shirt so I wrapped my hand in it and began knocking all the glass away from the sides so I could get in. The window was pretty small and I knew I was gonna cut myself climbing in so I tried to get as much of it out as I could…_

_But then I saw Edward crawling over to the glass on his floor._

_My heart stopped when he picked up a large piece, shaking his head back and forth as he sobbed…he held it above his wrist and all thoughts of pain left me as I just pulled myself through…it hurt like hell as I felt the glass digging into me but I was about to lose him…_

_Ain't no fuckin way I could ever let that happen…_

_I had done some searching on the Web for Bible verses that might be useful to me about casting out the devil and all that shit…just in case…_

_Well, Edward thought I was his angel right now so it was time for me to send that fuckin demon all the way back down to Hell and rescue my beautiful boy from the nightmare he had been living in for ten fuckin years…_

_I took the glass from his fingers and whispered, "Matthew 4:11."_

_He smiled and whispered, "Then the devil left him, and angels came to take care of him."_

_And I could see in his eyes that the demon was gone…I only hoped that it was for good this time._

A knock on the door made me jump and pull me from my thoughts…

I started to say something when I heard his voice call out on the other side, "Jay? It's Edward. Please let me in. Are you okay?"

I cleared my throat and struggled to keep my voice calm, "I'm okay, babe. I'll be out in a minute."

I heard him sigh and softly say, "Please, Jay. Please let me in."

I hung my head and groaned cuz he knew I couldn't say no to him.

I walked over and pulled the latch back, then opened the door.

His breathing hitched when he saw me. He came in quickly and shut and locked the door behind him.

"Jay…shit, you're hurt."

I shook my head and smiled, "It's nothing, darlin…ya know I'm a soldier."

His eyes started to water as he pursed his lips. He gently took my arm and guided me back to the sink, "You're bleeding all over…"

He grabbed my shirt and wetted it again before softly wiping at the cuts on my side. I hissed as he cleaned the dried blood away.

His hands were shaking and he was trying hard not to cry.

I grabbed his hands and whispered, "I'm okay, Edward…"

He shook his head and then the dam just broke as he screamed out crying, "You could've been killed! You could've fallen from that tree! You could've cut an artery on that window!"

He threw himself back against the wall and hung his head down as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He shook his head and now whispered through sobs, "I could've lost you forever…"

And in that moment, I knew exactly how he felt.

So I did the only thing I could to make us both feel better.

I grabbed his face and kissed him with everything I had. He responded quickly as his lips parted for mine and our tongues became quickly entangled. The kiss was raw and fierce as we attempted to swallow each other whole.

His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me roughly against him. And I was overcome with desperation as my hands left his beautiful face and quickly cupped his ass as I pulled him up.

He complied easily and wrapped his legs around my waist as I eased him onto the bathroom counter, never losing the forceful passion of the kiss.

My jeans were growing tighter by the second as I pushed myself against him. His back arched as he broke from the kiss with a low moan and threw his head back against the wall.

I could feel him harden now as his legs tightened around my waist and he met my wild thrusts with his own.

We were both panting as I pushed my hands into the back of his jeans and squeezed his ass so tight I thought briefly that I might leave a bruise…but his eyes rolled back as his head fell against the wall and he groaned a soft, "Oh fuck, Jay…"

I raised my eyes just as his hooded eyes locked on mine. I watched them flitter to my shoulder and then I noticed a thin line of blood starting to trail down my chest again.

For a moment, I was afraid he was gonna try and stop me so we could take care of it…what I was not expecting was for him to lean forward and flick out his tongue right above my nipple and begin dragging it upwards to claim the blood on his tongue.

My body shivered cuz that was all kinds of fuckin hot…

He knew what he was doing to me because once he reached my shoulder, he moaned a soft, "Mmm…" as he ran his tongue across his bottom lip, leaving a smudge of blood across it. Then he smirked and whispered, "You're delicious, Jasper. If I were a vampire…I would drain you dry…"

His hands quickly popped open the button on my jeans and pulled the zipper down as he leaned into my neck and whispered, "…I still might…"

I fuckin whimpered as he licked and sucked and softly bit the juncture of my neck and shoulder…

_Kinky Edward is fuckin awesome…_

And right as his hand slid into my jeans and grasped my cock, cuz I was going commando…there was a knock at the door.

It was then that I remembered we were in a nasty ass gas station bathroom.

Edward looked annoyed and growled, "In a fucking minute!"

I couldn't help but laugh at how mad he was and soon he was laughing too as we readjusted ourselves and kissed one last time before opening the door and leaving. I smiled as I noticed Edward turn bright red as we passed the man who was waiting while he stared at us suspiciously, no doubt since we came out together and were obviously flushed.

I loved how Edward could go from being aggressive and powerful with me…to being shy and awkward with everyone else. That side of Eddie was for me and me only…

He hopped in the driver's seat, "I'll drive, Jay. There was a hotel a little ways back…let's get a room for the night so I can tend to your cuts. We can go visit the cemetery tomorrow."

I nodded and laid back in the seat, exhausted from the day, "Okay, Eddie. It should only take us a couple hours to get to Indianapolis for me to see mama. Visiting hours are over at five…I just hope she put me on the visitor's list so I can get in."

He pulled out of the gas station and sighed, "I hope so too, Jay. I know that I won't be on it though so you'll have to face her on your own. Are you okay with that, baby?"

I shrugged as I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, "Guess we'll find out."

He drove into a drug store parking lot and left the car running as he ran in to get some stuff to clean my cuts and take care of me. Secretly, I loved it when Eddie went all caretaker on me…it was something I never really had before him. I didn't mind being hurt if he was there to take care of me.

It wasn't too much longer until we were in a room and Eddie was dragging me to the bathroom.

I didn't object as he started undressing me…in fact, I couldn't help but smirk down at him as he pulled my jeans off and my hard cock was standing proudly just inches from his plump cherry lips.

He smirked back up at me, "You like me taking care of you, huh?"

I just bit my lip so that he could see the stud from my tongue and slowly nodded.

His breathing hitched as he looked down, pulled off my socks and muttered, "Jesus Christ…"

Much to my dismay, he stood back up once I was naked and turned on the shower. He was slightly flushed and tenting his own jeans as he smiled shyly, "Um…let's get you cleaned up so I can dress those cuts."

I loved shy Eddie…but I wanted naughty Eddie to come out and play.

So, I turned and stepped into the shower but stopped and looked over my shoulder at him. His eyes quickly lifted from their gaze on my ass and he blushed. I smirked as I ran the steel stud across my bottom lip and knew that he could see my tattoo now. I stroked my hard shaft softly as my hooded eyes locked on his, "Ya ever fuck an angel?"

I watched as his eyes grew darker and the blush faded from his cheeks. He swallowed once and I groaned at the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing.

He pulled his shirt over his head and graced me with that crooked grin as he purred, "Not yet…"

He pushed his jeans and boxers down over his thick rigid cock and grabbed the lube from the bathroom counter.

His smirk was that deviant little grin that caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand and my cock to start throbbing in anticipation.

He walked up behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist, sliding his fingers over mine as we worked them slowly up and down my shaft. He whispered in my ear as goose bumps broke out all over me, "I'm going to fuck you up against the shower wall. Would you like that, Jay? Would you like me to fuck you, angel?"

I shuddered cuz that was exactly what I wanted right now. I wanted to see strong, powerful, assertive, aggressive Edward. I needed him to be that way after what happened today and I was pretty sure he did too.

I nodded as I swallowed hard.

He laughed softly in my ear as he gently pushed me up against the wall. I let go of my dick and put both hands against the cold tile. He whispered against my neck as he nipped and sucked, "Say it, Jay. Tell me."

Edward did things to me that I would have never imagined possible. I fuckin whimpered as my heart beat out of my chest and I breathed out, "Fuck me, Edward. Please, baby…fuck me."

His satin fingers glided along my hip as the hot water sprayed down over us. I held my head down and closed my eyes.

I heard the top of the lube pop open and I couldn't help the grin that came to my face. I felt his finger rub my entrance lightly before slowly pressing in. The grin was quickly replaced by a low moan as my back arched and his fingers kneaded my ass softly.

He continued stretching me for awhile until I was pressing back into his fingers for more. They quickly pulled out and I soon felt the head of his cock pressing into me. It still hurt a little but I was getting much more used to it now and knew that the reward was definitely worth a little pain.

He moved slowly, easing himself into me until I felt his thighs against mine. He stayed still for a moment and ran his fingers lovingly over my 'wings' as he whispered, "Tell me if I hurt you, angel…I want to make you feel only good things, baby…"

It didn't take long until I was pushing back into him, ready for him to fuck me into oblivion and erase all the bad shit that happened today.

He started off slow, making sure that I was okay as his hips rocked gently against my ass. But soon, his fingers were clenching my hips as the feel of his wet, hard cock pounding into my magic spot over and over again had me screaming out shit that would even normally make me blush…

"Oh fuck yeah, Eddie…harder, baby…fuck my ass, sugar…your big cock feels so fuckin good in my tight little ass…you like that…you like fuckin me baby?!"

He was growling now behind me as our slick, wet skin made slapping noises as we connected roughly over and over again, "Ugh…I love fucking your tight ass, Jay…feels so fucking good…you're mine, Jay…all mine…no one will ever fucking touch you but me…who do you belong to, angel?!"

_Fuck…I love possessive Edward…_

Edward was fuckin me right and proper so I leaned my forehead against the wall on my arm as my other hand slipped down to my own big dick and began stroking myself as hard and fast as he was fuckin me.

I closed my eyes and moaned against my arm at the grunts and groans…the feel of his hard wet body slamming into mine…the hot water streaming down over us…, "You, Edward…I'm all fuckin yours, darlin…_oh fuck_…_Eddie_…make me cum, pretty boy…"

My body was burnin and achin for release and I knew it was comin soon as my stomach begin to clench and I became dizzy and drunk with pure, unfiltered ecstasy.

I felt his fingers slide into my wet curls and pull my head back as he nipped on my earlobe, "Look at me, Jasper."

I turned my head as he caught my lips between his teeth and tongue. I groaned loudly as he attacked my mouth, all wild and shit.

I let go of my cock and drew my hand back into his hair, pulling him even closer to me as our bodies slapped and slid together.

His hand slid around to my stomach and held me close and tight against him while the other hand fluttered along my bobbing cock and began stroking me softly, in stark contrast to the good hard fuck he was giving me.

_And I thought I was good at fuckin…I had nothin on Edward fuckin Cullen…_

I moaned into his mouth as the conflicting sensations had my mind and body on a fuckin pleasure overload. I started shaking as the burning in my abdomen grew into a full out inferno.

I was certain at this point that if he hadn't been holding onto me so tightly, my knees would've completely given out on me.

I was so fuckin close that I couldn't even kiss anymore…I couldn't focus on anything but what he was doing to my body.

I broke from the kiss and laid my head back on his shoulder as my eyes closed and my back arched. I felt his hot breath on my neck and he nuzzled his nose to push the wet curls away from my ear as he whispered, "Holy shit…looks like the pretty boy has some skills."

Then he laughed that little cocky laugh and I smiled as I panted out, "Cocky fucker…"

He nipped at my ear and whispered, "I'm about to make Jasper Whitlock come completely undone by fucking his pretty little ass with my big thick cock and stroking his long rigid dick with barely a touch from my fingers…a guy like me can afford to be a little cocky, Jay."

And with that, I squeezed my eyes shut and exploded in his hand and the all over the wall, "Ugh…fuck…Ed…Ed…Edward, fuck…"

His grip tightened around my waist and I felt his shallow breaths against my neck as he moaned, "Ugh...fuck…Jay…Ugh…"

And I felt him spasm and cum deep inside of me.

He held onto me for a few minutes after that so we could come down together. When he finally softened and slipped out of me, I turned in his arms and pulled him flush with me as I kissed him deeply, murmuring how much I loved him and would always love him. He returned the affection to me and so we just stood there under the water, kissing and loving one another.

Eventually we got out of the shower and he led me to the bedroom. We didn't bother with putting any clothes on as he grabbed the stuff he got from the drug store and started cleaning and bandaging my cuts and scrapes.

I had a long gash on my leg and I shuddered as he was kneeling in front of me, blowing softly on the cut to take away some of the sting after cleaning it.

My cock twitched and he just chuckled as he continued blowing.

I smiled down at him and wondered aloud, "Hey Eddie?"

"Hmm?"

I leaned back on my hands and watched him work, "Have you ever thought about being a doctor like Carlisle? You're real good at this shit. Ya kinda remind me of your daddy."

He smiled up at me but it didn't reach his eyes, "Well, I have thought about it but I don't think it's a possibility for me. I don't think that I could handle the blood…or the surgery…or…losing someone. I don't think I'm…mentally capable of handling it."

I reached out and ran my fingers through his damp bronze locks, "I don't know, Eddie…I think you'd be a great doctor. So, have you ever thought about what you want to do when we graduate?"

Now his smile was brilliant as he looked up at me, "Marry you."

My heart fluttered…that's right, it fuckin fluttered cuz my beautiful boy had been thinkin bout us being married too.

I couldn't help the wide dimpled grin that came to my face, "Yeah?"

He laughed, "Of course you have to ask me first."

I nodded, "I will, baby. You can count on it."

He stood up and leaned over me until he was hovering above me. His pretty green eyes melted into mine as he smiled and began nipping at my jaw line, "I can't wait…I'm sure it will be incredible, I mean, afterall…you're pretty good at this romantic shit."

I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him down on top of me, "You're catchin up, Eddie."

We fooled around a little more until we had both passed out in a tangled mess of sweaty limbs and body parts.

But I couldn't escape the reality of what had happened today in my dreams that night…

_I watched as my baby boy scooted along the floor, terrified as he looked wide eyed at the demon who hovered over him._

_I began beating the window, trying my best to break through and rescue him…but it wouldn't shatter._

_I was crying and screaming for him as I saw him reach for an old rusty razor blade on the floor._

_I was gonna lose him forever…_

_I begged and pleaded for him to stop but he couldn't hear me._

_I felt the sharp pain in my wrists as he dragged the blade across his…the blood quickly running down his arms and hands._

_I looked to mine and they were cut open as well, dripping blood down my arms._

_My eyes burned from the tears and my body ached. I held my palm to the window and watched as his beautiful face turned to mine._

_He crawled on slit wrists to the window, leaving trails of blood behind him._

_Then he reached up and pressed his bloody palm against mine through the glass before he collapsed on the floor._

_The window shattered now as I drug myself through. I picked up his lifeless body in my arms…his beautiful green eyes were still open but completely vacant now._

_Then I heard the laughter._

_Suddenly I was surrounded by demons…faceless shadows that whispered and taunted me._

_The taunts were viscious as they reminded me of how I treated mama so badly from the very beginning, before she even ever did anything to me…they reminded me of how Sarah and her friends humiliated me and how I couldn't even fuck right until I was taught…they reminded me that I wasn't good enough for Edward and never would be…they told me I should be thankful that he was gone because I was even too scared to make love to him…I would never be good enough for him…_

_I felt him move in my arms and I looked down to see his eyes were brilliant as he smiled that crooked little grin and whispered, "I'm okay, Jay…see, I'm not crazy…"_

_I pulled him into me and hugged him fiercely as I thanked God for giving him back to me...I swore that I would be better…be good enough…I would try harder…_

_The demons were howling in laughter as I held him tight and told him how much I loved him and that I'd never let anything bad happen to him again._

_When I pulled away to kiss his cherry lips…he was lifeless once again._

_This happened over and over again…I would see him, happy and beautiful…then lifeless and…gone…as the demons kept up with their hateful ridicule…_

_The laughter echoed in my ears, making my head ache and my ears ring…_

_Edward was gone and I was going crazy…_

I woke with a gasp as I frantically grabbed onto Edward's shoulder's as he looked down at me, "Jay? Are you okay, baby, it was just a nightmare."

I nodded as I tried to calm my breathing down. He pushed the damp curls from my forehead and whispered, "It was about me."

He didn't ask it as a question so I figured he knew.

I nodded again as I looked into his eyes…eternally grateful that they were looking back at me.

He sighed, "I'm so sorry, Jay. I hate that I'm hurting you."

I reached up and brushed back his bronze locks and whispered, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Edward. It was just a nightmare…no big deal."

He sighed again as he pulled away and sat up, pulling his fingers through his hair, "Jasper…you were dreaming about demons…you thought you were going crazy…you were frantic."

_Shit, why the fuck do I gotta talk in my sleep?_

I sat up next to him and pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and leaning my face on my knees to look at him, "Edward…it's not your fault…"

His face turned and looked into mine as he whispered, "You're afraid to make love to me."

Again, it wasn't a question.

I let out a big breath as I put my head down and truly felt like a coward. I whispered, "Yeah."

"Why?"

Images of Sarah and her friend's raced through my mind.

I squeezed my eyes shut and just let it all out, "Because…I've never made love to someone, Edward…it took me a long time to get any good at fuckin…I'm…fuck…I'm afraid I'm not gonna be any good at it…I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt you…"

He took a deep breath and whispered, "Jay, look at me."

I didn't wanna face him…I felt stupid and vulnerable…but as I turned my head and looked into his pretty green eyes…I felt better.

"Jasper, what did Sarah do to you?"

I furrowed my brows cuz he already knew this, "She taught me how to fuck…"

He took another breath and spoke quietly, "Jasper…if she had done to me what she did to you…what would you do?"

Just the thought of that evil bitch coming anywhere near Edward made my fuckin blood boil, "I'd fuckin kill her!"

He raised an eyebrow and I groaned.

_Fuck…_

I lowered my head back down to my knees and whispered, "She molested me."

I felt his arms wrap around me and I looked up into his eyes, "How could I be so stupid, Edward?"

He shook his head, "You're not stupid, Jay…you were twelve. It started when you were eleven. She manipulated you…the same thing had probably been done to her. It doesn't make you stupid or weak but you've got to understand that those things she told you were not true. You had never given a blowjob before the first time and trust me, babe…you were fucking incredible."

Now I snickered as his crooked grin lit up the dark room, "Well, I had gotten blow jobs before so I had an advantage."

He smirked, "How am I in bed? Am I any good at making love? Fucking?"

Now images of all the times we had been together raced through my mind and my cock twitched at the memories.

I felt my dimples as I grinned, "You're fuckin incredible, Edward."

He whispered, "I've made love to you, Jay…so you still have an advantage. You know what you're doing and you love me…the rest is easy. Do you remember the first time we…um…well, we dry humped and came together?"

I followed his lead as he laid back down and pulled me with him, "Yeah."

He started playing with my curls as he sighed sleepily, "Remember I was getting a little…uh…anxious…but you slowed me down…said you wanted to do it right. We spent hours just…loving on each other. You can't honestly believe that you won't be any good."

I smiled against his chest as he yawned, "Yeah, I remember. Get back to sleep, baby. I'm good now."

His voice was rough and sleepy as he whispered, "S'okay, babe…we can talk if you want."

I was quiet and waited for about 30 seconds until I heard his soft snores. I laid there awhile trying to sleep but I was just too wired. I was anxious about seein my mama…thinkin too much about what had happened today…pissed and feelin stupid about what I let Sarah do to me…and…fuck, I really wanted to make love to Edward.

After about a half hour, I pulled myself from the bed and pulled on a pair of pajama pants before walking out on the balcony to smoke a cigarette. The brisk night time air felt good as I sat and lit up.

I needed to just fuckin chill and not think of any of this shit right now or I was gonna drive myself crazy.

I went in and grabbed my Ipod from my bag. A few minutes later, I was sitting in a patio chair with my feet propped up on the railing, smoking a cigarette and listening to some chopped and screwed 'baby makin music', as my Cuz used to call it.

I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered when he first got me listenin to this shit…

_He was in his kitchen, fryin us up some bacon. His back was turned and he was dancing and singin to a chopped and screwed version of Heaven Sent._

_I started laughin my ass off and he just smirked over his shoulder, "Laugh all ya want, ya lil' cocky fucker…you ain't man enough yet to appreciate this shit."_

_I rolled my eyes as I hit the blunt, "Man enough? I don't listen to chick music, dude."_

_He came over and snatched the blunt from me, "If ya ain't never learned nothin from your old cuz, Jay…learn this…a real man appreciates a lil' romance and ain't nothin wrong it."_

_Now I was laughin again._

_He handed me the blunt back and sat down, "Are you in love with that chick back in Washington?"_

_The laughter stopped immediately as my fuckin chest ached, "Um…yeah, but…it's over."_

_He sat there a minute before he sighed, "It ain't really over, cuz. Us Whitlock's…when we fall…we fall hard and that shit don't stop for us. Look at me and Casi…we've broken up like twenty times these last few years but we always end up back together. Look at your daddy…he ain't never moved on from your mama. Now I'm gonna play this song again and I want ya to listen to the words. Ain't nobody here but you and me, cuz…ya ain't gotta put on an act around me."_

_He got up and started the song over…I did listen to the words…and I kinda fell in love with that shit…yeah, I was a romantic fucker, so what…_

_When it was over I sighed as I thought of Edward, "I liked it, Cuz…it was kinda…pretty and shit."_

_He laughed as he sat down two plates filled with bacon, eggs, and biscuits, "Yup…oh and another good thing…this shit will get ya laid fast as lightening!"_

_I just shook my head and laughed as I started eatin, "You're a silly fucker, Cuz."_

_He laughed, "Yeah…I'm all romantical and shit."_

So, now I was sittin out here listenin to it again. I closed my eyes and flicked my cigarette out. I laid my head back on the chair and before long, I was singin the words softly into the midnight sky…

"I wanna be the one who you believe, in your heart is sent from heaven…There's a piece of me who leaves when you're gone, because you're sent from heaven…"

I was just kinda lost to the music and the cool breeze, when I felt my pretty boy climb on top of me and straddle my lap.

I smiled without even opening my eyes. His arms wrapped around my neck and he laid his head on my shoulder.

I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my nose into his hair, "What'cha doin up, sugar?"

He sighed, "I was lonely."

I just held onto him for a minute when I felt him pull one of my ear buds out. I opened my eyes as he put it in his ear. He raised an eyebrow and I just shrugged, "I listened to it a lot when I thought we were…over."

He didn't say anything, he just nodded slightly and laid his head back down on my shoulder.

I felt him smile against my skin as he whispered, "I like it…it's kind of pretty. Will you keep singing for me?"

"Sure thing, darlin."

I held him and sang softly in his ear. His fingers played with the curls at the nape of my neck as I ran mine up and down his strong back, along his spine.

I felt him shiver so I whispered, "Ya cold, baby?"

He shook his head, "No, love…I'm very warm."

I felt his soft lips pucker and brush along my neck and shoulder. Now I broke out in goosebumps as he started kissing and sucking the sensitive spot at the crook of my neck.

I couldn't help the soft moan that escaped my lips as I tilted my head to give him better access.

I could feel him starting to harden through his pajama pants as he began rocking his hips back and forth against me.

My fingers dug into the soft flesh on his hips as my dick started twitching from the beautiful boy on top of me.

His teeth nipped at the sensitive skin on my neck and quickly lavished it with his silky tongue. My hips slowly started moving with his from underneath.

He moaned against my skin and I was losing all control.

My fingers ran along his spine until they locked into his soft bronze locks and dragged his lips up to mine.

My baby boy tasted so good and I relished his mouth with my lips and tongue.

We were both rock hard as the kiss just seemed to get deeper and deeper…tongues and teeth and lips…moans and grunts and soft breaths…hands pulling hair and clenching shoulders…

_I wanted Edward…I wanted him now…fuck that…I needed him now…_

_I was done being afraid…I was done letting my past make me insecure…I was done being a fuckin pussy._

_I was Jasper fuckin Whitlock and I ain't scared of shit._

I broke from the kiss with a gasp for air as he did the same.

I looked up into his pretty green eyes and my breathing hitched at the way he looked right now…the stars and moonlight dancing behind him…his swollen cherry lips parted and his cheeks pink and flushed as he breathed heavy…he was fuckin beautiful.

I whispered, "Edward, I want…I need to…fuck it, can I have you, Edward?"

A small moan flittered from his lips as his cheeks darkened even more and he grinned that crooked grin, "I'm all yours, baby. You don't have to ask, you can do whatever you want with me, Jay."

I smiled as I remembered him saying those words to me once before…but this time, I was just gonna keep my mouth shut and be fuckin grateful.

_Thank you, Cuz…I'm gonna get laid…no…I'm gonna make love to my beautiful boy…_

I whispered, "I love you, Edward."

He whispered back with a cocky little smirk, "I love you, Jasper. Now take me to bed."

My heart was racing like crazy but I chuckled as I wrapped my arms tight around him and cupped his ass, lifting him up as I stood.

He gasped as his legs tightened around my waist, "Jesus, Jay…how the hell can you pick me up? I'm a big boy, ya know."

I let him down to his feet but kept his body pulled flush with mine. I gave him that cocky smirk right back as I reached down and rubbed him through his pants, "I know you're a big boy, Eddie…"

Then I grabbed his hand and reached down to have him rub my dick through my pants, "…but I'm a little bigger, darlin."

He smirked, "Cocky fucker."

I started walking him backwards to the bed as I leaned to his ear and whispered, "You know you love it."

He smiled against my neck, "I really do."

As the back of his knees hit the bed, I began lying him down slowly and thought to myself…

_You got one shot at this, Jay…you better turn this boy out…_

**Okay, so evil of me, I know but the chapter was getting way too long. Besides, I thought I'd give some power to the people (I'm all political and shit), so you guys let me know whose POV you want Eddie's cherry poppin to be in…**


	33. Chapter 33

**Well, Jay's POV won out…besides, Eddie's first time was in his POV so I figured it'd only be fair that this be in JPOV. **

**Special thanks to all my chicks that do the Writing Challenges with me, they're a big help :)**

**Muse-Undisclosed Desires, Muse-Supermassive Black Hole, Lifehouse-Everything, The Black Keys-Your Touch**

**Jasper's POV**

As the back of his knees hit the bed, I began lying him down slowly. My mind was racing with thoughts and worries about all the possible scenarios that could take place.

Everything could be perfect and we could end up having one of the most incredible nights of our lives…or….something bad could happen and we could both be completely scarred from this.

Edward couldn't always control the things that went on in his mind so it was up to me to help him get through this...that meant that I was gonna have to push all my own worries and doubts outta my head. I couldn't bear the thought of me scaring him or doing something stupid and fuckin this up. This had to be perfect…and you could bet your fuckin ass that I was gonna make sure it was beyond perfect.

I held him tight as he scooted back on the bed and I followed hovering so close that his sweet breath was leaving goose bumps all over my skin.

His bright green eyes were wide and anxious but most importantly…trusting.

Edward was trusting me with all of him…mind, body, and soul. He was giving himself to me completely, in every way, and I knew that I would never betray his trust.

I was gonna go slow…just like the first time we ever really loved on each other. We spent hours just kissing and moving our bodies against one another…it was a long, slow ride to the brink of ecstasy…and tonight was gonna be a long fuckin night.

I just laid there for a moment, gazing down at my beautiful boy while running my fingers through his soft bronze hair. He looked a little…anxious, as his red lips parted and his pink tongue brushed across his bottom lip. His breathing was already coming out in shallow breaths and I was worried that maybe I was pushing him.

I smiled, making sure that he saw my dimples cuz I knew he loved them, "Eddie, you know I love you, right?"

He now smiled back as his eyes lit up, "I know you do, Jay. I love you too."

I continued running my fingers through his hair as I whispered, "And you know I would never be mad at you if ya ain't ready for this yet…you know we can wait, right?"

He sighed as his velvet fingertips glided so softly along my spine that I shuddered, "I know we can wait, Jay…but I don't want to. I want you. I'm a little nervous but there's no doubt in my mind…that it's going to be incredible. If you could…just…"

His cheeks turned red and he looked down. I gently pulled his chin back so that he could face me and whispered, "Tell me what you want, Edward."

His long fingers covered mine as he took a deep breath and whispered, "I just don't want to do it from…um…from behind. Not yet, anyway."

I smiled softly as I brought his hand to my lips and kissed the palm. Then I began kissing each fingertip as he sighed contentedly, "Do you really think that I could stand to make love to you and not look in your eyes?"

The tension seemed to just melt away from him as he smiled, "Jay?"

I continued gingerly kissing his satin fingertips, "Hmm?"

He gently pulled his hand away and it joined his other one as he caressed my cheeks and whispered, "Come here."

His fingers guided my lips back to his as those plump red lips brushed across mine. Soft, sweet kisses soon turned into deep, passionate ones as we clung to one another, drinking the other in.

Our bodies were tangled as legs draped over hips and arms wrapped around backs…fingers were tangled in hair and squeezing various body parts…soft moans and deep grunts were mingled with breathless whispers of love and lust.

We kissed forever as our bodies molded into one another. Eventually, I pulled away from the breath taking kiss and tried to slow my breathing down. I gave him one more chaste kiss before moving over to his ear, sliding my tongue along the shell and nipping my way down to his jaw.

I whispered, "It's gonna be a long night, Eddie. Think you can stay awake?"

He laughed softly as he craned his neck a bit for me to get better access to it, "I'll stay awake, Jay…I promise."

I slid my body along his, relishing in the feel of his strong chest against mine, his hardened nipples brushing along my sensitive skin…every sensation heightened by the pure anticipation and desire of wanting my beautiful boy so badly.

I lifted my head and looked down at him through hooded, needful eyes as I whispered, "Good…cuz I plan on makin you cum for me over and over and over…again and again and again…"

His lips puckered as his eyes rolled back with a soft moan. I smiled and couldn't help but raise my hand and brush my finger across his pretty cherry bottom lip, "You like that thought, Eddie?"

His half lidded emerald eyes opened as he squirmed underneath me a bit, a faint blush dancing across his cheeks as he whispered, "Yes." He tender lips brushed across my fingertip as his tongue flicked across the calloused skin.

His hands lifted and pulled mine to his lips as he began kissing and tasting each one of my rough fingertips…my body quivered from the simple touch of affection and as he whispered, his warm shallow breaths caused goose bumps to rise along my flesh again, "I have always loved these fingertips, Jay. One simple touch from these perfect, spell binding fingers could immediately calm me down. We were playing basketball the first time I felt them. We had only just begun talking and you were trying to teach me how to do a lay up, remember?"

I could only nod as my lips parted slightly and my breathing became strained with each soft kiss or flick of his tongue across my fingertips.

He smiled and whispered, "I tried to do it like you showed me but I tripped and fell flat on my face. I could feel my whole body burning in embarrassment…waiting for you to make fun of me. But instead, I felt your hand on my shoulder as you knelt down beside me and asked if I was okay. And then, you held out your hand to help me up. I was hesitant at first because I was so unsure of myself…but the moment your calloused fingers gripped onto mine…all of the doubt and insecurity just sort of…melted away."

Now I smiled at the memory and brought my free hand up to brush my fingers across his cheek as I whispered, "I remember. We had just moved in that day and I had gotten into it with mama's boyfriend. I was lettin off steam when I saw you. You were trying to be sneaky as you looked over at me…but I could see those deep green eyes all the way from across the street. The very first thing I thought, was that green was my favorite color. I had never been so…interested in wantin to get to know somebody…but one look at you and I just…wanted to know you. When I pulled you up off the ground, Edward, and I felt your satin skin against mine…everything bad that happened that day just sort of…melted away."

He whispered, "Do you believe in Fate, Jay?"

I smiled and whispered, "I'm startin to. What about you?"

His cheeks began to darken again with that beautiful blush as he smiled, "I believe that there is something out there…something greater than us that guides us to where we should be."

I ran my fingers down his jaw and whispered, "Do you believe in God, Edward?"

He smiled that beautiful crooked smile as he brushed his fingers through my curls, "How could I possibly look at you, Jasper…_my angel_…and _not _believe in Heaven?"

My heart was beating so loudly that I swore he could hear it…instead he trailed his fingers down my palm, my arm, and onto my chest where he laid them over my heart.

"I love the way that my simple words can make your heart race, Jay."

I smiled, "You're the only person that's ever made it beat like that, Eddie."

He continued brushing his satin fingertips along my chest and down the center of my stomach until he reached the top of my sleep pants, where he lazily played with the waist band.

His gentle touches left a trail of fire in their path, causing my body to shudder and my skin to, once again, break out in goose bumps.

He smirked at the way he played my body, loving the reaction he could so easily get from me, "I love that I can make your whole body shudder with only a simple touch."

My eyes quickly became hooded and needful again as I gazed down at those forest green ones and breathlessly whispered, "You make my body do things I never even dreamed of, Edward."

Now, his fingers dug underneath the waist band and gripped my firm cock. I moaned and began rolling my hips to get more of his silky touch on my scorching skin. His fingers wrapped even tighter around me and started pulling the soft skin around my rigid cock up and down with a soft twist of his wrist.

He whispered, "I love the way that your cock throbs and aches for _my _touch…_my _tongue…_my _body. Satin over steel…just like you. The most beautiful thing about you, Jay…is that you are tough and strong and rugged…but also sweet and tender and loving. The body of a soldier with the heart of a hopeless romantic."

He ran his thumb across the slick tip and my eyes closed as another moan fell from my lips. I was really starting to get worked up so I noticed my southern slur was coming out thick as I whispered, "Shit, pretty boy…keep sayin them pretty words and you're gonna make me cum 'fore we ever get started."

He chuckled and wrapped his free arm around my neck, pulling himself up to my ear. He pulled the lobe softly between his lips and tongue as he whispered, "Don't worry, cowboy…pretty words from a pretty boy's lips bring only the promise of pure, mind numbing ecstasy as I plan on making _you _cum for _me _until well after the sun rises…over and over and over…again and again and again…"

A soft breeze blew in from the still opened patio doors and I was thankful for the brisk wind cuz my body was heating up fast.

My cock was pulsing and my heart was pounding. Hardly an inch of space between our bodies as his velvet fingers were quickly bringing me to the edge. His arm was still wrapped around my neck and my hands were pressed against the mattress as I hovered above him, slowly rocking my hips to help him pump my cock.

He pulled away from my neck and brought his lips to mine in a searing kiss. His lips and tongue molded with mine, so closely that you hardly knew where one of us ended and the other began.

He pulled away with a gasp for air but I quickly connected us once again, unable to control the need to taste his lips and mouth on mine.

He smiled and whispered breathlessly into the kiss, "Can't…breathe…"

I whispered back with a soft grunt, "Tough shit…breathe through me."

He moaned and continued kissing me back with a newly found fervor. From the taste of his tongue, the breathless moans and whimpers, and the feel of his hand wrapped around my cock…I wasn't gonna last much longer.

I moaned into his mouth, "Gonna…cum…"

His hand quickly pulled away, leaving my cock throbbing painfully and missing the warmth of his hand.

His lips pulled away from me too and I fuckin whimpered at the sudden loss of…him.

He put his finger to my lips to stop me from cussin at him for stopping and whispered, "Cum inside me."

_Hell fuckin yeah I'm gonna cum inside you…_

I quickly pulled away with a grunt and yanked my pants down, throwing them off the bed. Then I grabbed his by the waist and drug them down his legs, dropping them to the floor with mine.

I reached over and grabbed the lube, tossing it on the bed before pressing my body to his and attacking his lips again. He moaned into the kiss as his arms and legs wrapped around me, pushing our hard cocks together as I urgently moved my hips along his for the friction.

_Motherfuck, Jay…slow the fuck down…_

Thankful that my mind was workin _for _me, I pulled away with a gasp and grabbed his arms, unwrapping them as I rolled over onto my back.

We were both panting breathlessly as he rasped out, "Why did…you stop?"

I pulled my hands through my curls as I willed my heart to slow down and my cock to settle the fuck down. I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as I turned and looked into his pretty green eyes that were staring at me, all confused and needy and shit.

I let out a breath and couldn't help but start laughing. He smiled now as I pulled at my curls again, "Jesus, Eddie…you make me _fuckin crazy_…you know that?"

That beautiful familiar blush came to his cheeks too as he started laughing along with me.

He laid on his side and propped himself up on his elbow as his laughter slowly died down. Then he began plucking at the threads on the blanket as he looked down and sighed, "Um…hey, Jay?"

I now mimicked his position and turned to face him. I ducked my head down so that I could see his face and smiled, "Yeah, baby?"

He smiled again as his cheeks became even redder, "Um…do you think…um…never mind."

He turned his head away again and now I was getting a little concerned. I scooted closer and wrapped my arm around his waist, pulling his body flush with mine. We both let out small moans at the feeling of our hard cocks being pushed together again.

But I pulled my attention from my dick and whispered, "Look at me, Edward."

His jade eyes snapped to mine and I whispered again, "What is it?"

He took a breath and chewed on his lip for a moment before speaking quietly, "Do you think that it will always be so…_intense _with us. I mean, we're always going to be this way, right? It's not like this because we're young or it's new…we'll always feel this way about each other, right?"

And those were questions that I wish I could answer with one hundred percent conviction cuz I had thought of the same things a few times.

So I just answered honestly, "I don't know the future, Edward…but I think…I think we just gotta have faith, y'know? The way I feel about you…it's intense and it's scary but I know without a doubt in my heart that it's real. I think when two people connect like you and me have…when their souls are, like, bonded and shit…ain't no other way for it to feel but intense and passionate and crazy. I don't see that ever changing between us, Eddie. Romeo and Juliet…ain't got shit on us."

He smiled now as he whispered, "So, you feel it too? The crazy, maddening pull that we have towards one another."

I nuzzled my nose to his as the feeling of his body against mine so tightly was starting to drive me a little wild again, "Yeah, baby…I feel it."

He brushed his soft lips against mine and whispered, "You know what I think is the most amazing thing about us?"

I smiled as I brushed my lips across his and murmured, "Everything."

He laughed softly and I chuckled too before asking, "What do you think the most amazing thing about us is, Edward?"

His hand slid down between us and pulled my cock a little before letting it go and watching it bounce against my stomach. His crooked grin was in full force as he laughed softly, "I think it's amazing that we can lie here and talk for half an hour and our dicks are still rock hard."

Now I started laughing at my silly boy as he kept playing with my dick. I finally rolled over on top of him and he wrapped his arms around my neck. I smiled down as he looked up at me with a sparkle in his pretty green eyes.

I sighed as I shook my head, "Edward Anthony Cullen…what am I gonna do with you?"

He looked at me for a moment before whispering, "Just love me, Jay."

I leaned down and kissed his soft cherry lips and whispered, "I can do that, Eddie."

This time, my mind and body were working together as I tried to keep the pace slowed down a bit. The kiss was soft and sweet…to begin with anyway.

Our bodies rubbed slowly against each other as our lips and tongues slow danced. The room was warm and sticky from the heat it had held since the sun first shined that morning. We left the A/C off and just kept the patio doors open to let some of the brisk, night time air flow in. We were up several floors so there was nothing but the blackened sky and twinkly stars looking in.

I'm not sure if it was the warm room or just the fire that we created when we were together…but soon our bodies were heated and covered in a slick sheen of sweat. I felt my curls becoming sticky and damp as they fell over my face and tickled his cheeks as we kissed.

Aching to feel more of my beautiful boy, I gently pulled away from his lips and moved them to his neck…licking and sucking his sweet, slightly salty skin. His back arched and he moaned softly as his fingers clenched my back before slowly exploring every inch of skin he could reach.

I trailed soft, wet kisses along his neck and shoulder…slowly descending down his chest until I reached his nipples and took them into my mouth, sucking gently and flicking my tongue ring across them.

His fingers worked their way up until they were locked in my damp curls. He was writhing beneath me already and moving his hips up so that his cock was gently sliding up and down my stomach with each motion.

He moaned as I swirled that barbell around his hardened nipples, "Oh God that feels so good, Jay…"

I smiled around it and continued my slow, deliberate torture.

Moving slowly further down his body, I licked his slick skin along his stomach before sliding over to his hip bones. He groaned and his fingers tightened in my hair as I softly bit and licked them.

His cock was sliding against my collarbone now and the need to take him in my mouth was driving me insane.

I worked my way down until the pretty pink head of his cock brushed across my lips. I put both hands on his hips and held him still for me as I ran my tongue ring along the weeping slit. I hummed at the taste of my beautiful boy.

His chest was heaving as I swirled it around the ridge now before wrapping my lips around it and sucking gently.

He let out a long soft moan as his head moved from side to side since he couldn't move his body.

Very slowly, I swallowed my way down, running that stud along the throbbing vein until I wet met with damp, bronze curls that tickled my nose.

He was gripping my hands on his hips as his helpless pleas of, "More…please…faster…Oh God…can't take it…going to explode…please…please…please…Jay…fuck…_please_…", went unanswered cuz I wasn't giving in and sucking him off hard tonight…nope, I was gonna do this my way.

I was gonna go slow and soft and do this right.

His head was now thrashing at my leisurely, sensual assault on his cock and his toes were diggin into the mattress.

I knew he was getting close now so I released his cock from my mouth and trailed soft kisses and licks down it until I reached his balls.

I began gently licking and sucking them while his fingers now clenched the sheet underneath him. He was still letting out a string of pleas, "No! I was so close…_oh God _that feels good…what the fuck are you doing to me…oh Jay…oh God, Jay…please, baby…_please_…"

So, once again, I trailed down further until I flicked his tight hole with my tongue ring before swirling it around. I licked his entrance softly at first but then my fingers tightened on his hips to keep him steady as I started fucking him with my tongue.

Now his hands were clenched in his own hair as he thrashed from side to side and he growled out a string of profanities, "Mother fuck! God damn it, Jay! Oh fuck yeah, baby! Please…oh God fuck please, Jay!"

This went on for…awhile. He reached down and tried to stroke his own cock but I smacked his hand away. He would wait until I was ready for him to cum.

Finally, I was slick and sticky from sweat, my mouth and tongue aching with the sweetest pain…I was ready to finally give him his release.

I raised up quickly and buried his cock in my throat, swallowing as his fingers dug into my curls and held my head there while he screamed out, "Oh fuck yes! Yes, fuck! Oh…oh…I'm…I'm…J…Ja…Jas…Jas…Jasper fuck!"

And his cum hit the back of my throat like an erupting volcano and I was very satisfied as I drank him down, cuz even though my dick was hurtin like a son of a bitch…I was pretty sure that Edward just had one the most intense orgasms of his life…and the night was just beginning.

His body collapsed to the bed with heavy breaths, "Wow…you're the…shit, Jay."

I chuckled as I crawled up the bed to him. Worried that he might fall asleep, I quickly pulled him up so that he straddled my lap as I sat back on my knees.

He gasped from the sudden change in position and instantly threw his arms around my neck. The sudden gasp allowed me the opportunity to plunge my tongue into his mouth and ravish it again.

He moaned into the kiss as his grip on me tightened and our slick bodies moved as one… an erratic, lustful sway as we just couldn't seem to get close enough to one another.

His fingers crept up my spine and twisted in my damp curls, tugging hard and pulling my head back as he broke from my lips and began attacking my neck.

My fingers clenched his pretty ass and urged him to move his body against me. My dick was past the point of painful now…I had been hard for over an hour with no release and it was making me a little crazy.

I was sure that I would leave the imprint of my hands on his ass as I gripped it tight and I knew that I needed to cum right fuckin now.

And I couldn't help myself from bringing my fingers to his hair and pushing his head down with a raspy, breathless groan, "Suck my fuckin dick, Edward."

He let out his own throaty moan as he dropped down to all fours and took me into his hot wet mouth with a fuckin vengeance.

My head drooped back as I leaned back on one hand and fisted his sweaty bronze locks in the other. I pushed gently but still had enough coherency not to gag my beautiful boy, so I made sure he could pull up if he needed to.

But he was taking it like a fuckin champ.

He was rocking back and forth on his knees and I brought my eyes to his perfect, porcelain backside. His skin was creamy and pale with a few auburn freckles dancing across his shoulders and back. His ass was a nice deep rosy pink from my assault earlier and I could definitely see the red outlines of my fingers against his fair skin.

His tongue was pushing against the underside of my cock as his cheeks hollowed and he sucked me deeply into the back of his throat.

My body was already feeling things it had never felt before. This was way better than any fuckin high I ever had. My chest was heaving and every touch to my sensitive skin had me seeing stars.

I hissed when I felt him tug at my balls, shots of fire and electricity surged through me as my whole body just felt like it contracted . My eyes rolled back and my mouth hung open as I groaned, "Fuck yeah, Eddie…"

My hips bucked one more time before I was spilling everything I had down his eager little throat. My head fell back with a loud moan. Edward swallowed me down and when I finally lifted my eyes and looked down at him, I was fuckin lightheaded as he wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand and growled, "Fuck yeah…" before coming up to his knees and plunging his tongue down my throat.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his body to mine, loving that I could feel his hard cock throbbing against my thigh as I tasted myself on his tongue. He pushed me down on my back and started rubbing himself against me erratically.

I could feel myself quickly becoming hard again as I flipped him over on his back and took control. He gasped and I moved my mouth to his neck and throat, licking and biting and sucking.

Then I felt something roll against my leg and I glanced down to see the lube.

_HOLY SHIT! SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, JAY! YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCK YOUR BOY SENSELESS!!!_

I pulled away, gasping for air as I rolled off of him and onto my back. He leaned over on his side as he rasped out, "What? Why'd you stop?"

I groaned and rubbed my hands along my face, "I'm fuckin this all up, Edward. I don't wanna _fuck _you…I wanna make love but…you just keep makin me all fuckin crazy…I'm just…I can't fuckin do this."

I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and gently tug my hand away from my face. I couldn't bring myself to look in his pretty green eyes cuz I just felt fuckin ashamed that I had no control.

"Look at me, Jay."

Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes up to his. They were so fuckin pretty and he was so fuckin sweet and good…I didn't deserve him…I couldn't even make love to him right without turning it into something dirty…cuz that's what _I_ was, dirty and used.

He brought his hand up to my forehead and brushed back the damp, sweaty curls before putting his arm behind my back and pulling me to my side to face him. He smiled softly and whispered, "Jasper, making love doesn't have to be some stereotypical candlelight and slow music bullshit that you find in chick movies. Making love is simply the act of being with the one you love. Love _should _be passionate and filled with so much desire that you lose all control. I wouldn't want love if it wasn't that way. You can do this and you are going to be the most incredible lover on the face of this earth because I can feel your passion and desire for me with each kiss…with every touch of your fingers…pressing against my leg."

He smirked now as he glanced down and saw my hard cock pressing against his thigh. I couldn't help but laugh a little and wondered how he was able to pull me from the brink so easily.

Both of his arms now wrapped around me as he rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. He then brought his hands to my face and whispered, "Now…make love to me, Jay. Please."

I was feeling a little overwhelmed looking down into those deep forest green eyes filled with so much love and trust that it made my head spin. He trusted me…he believed in me…he loved me…

_I can do this…I can do this…Oh God please don't let me fuck this up…_

I brushed my finger down his cheek as my heart beat so hard that I could've swore that he could feel it. I whispered, "I love you, Edward."

He smiled softly and whispered, "I love you too, Jasper."

I took a deep breath and let it out. He laughed softly, "Relax, Jay. It's just you and me, baby. Here, let me help."

He reached over and grabbed the lube bringing it to my hand. He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss before flipping open the top. He poured a little on my fingers and rubbed them, spreading it around. Then he wiped his hand on the sheet and I laughed.

I was still nervous but he would help me through…just like I was gonna help him through. And at the end of this…maybe we will have done something really fuckin beautiful.

I moved slowly to the side as I took his lips to mine, placing soft sweet butterfly kisses while staring into those beautiful hooded eyes. I guided my fingers down until they were between his legs.

I whispered against his lips, "Open up a little, baby."

His leg lifted up as he turned to his side slightly and hitched it up over mine. His chest was heaving now and I saw his Adam's apple move as he gulped.

So, I began trailing soft gentle kisses against his chin…along his jaw…down to his neck and throat. Very lightly I brushed my tongue along his skin, between my parted lips as I continued the soft gentle kisses.

He moaned softly as his head tilted. I began brushing my finger along his entrance gently, circling and teasing.

Then I lifted my head and whispered, "Look at me."

His eyes opened and stared into mine as I tenderly pushed my fingertip inside of him. His mouth opened with a small gasp as I started working my finger very slowly in and out of him. His skin was so hot pressed against me and surrounding my finger that I couldn't help but shiver at the thought of how it would feel when I was inside of him.

I whispered, "You okay, baby?"

He nodded a breathless, "Yeah."

After a few minutes, I brought another finger to his entrance and whispered, "Are you ready, darlin?"

His hands clenched into the curls at the nape of my neck as he whispered, "I'm ready."

Slowly, I pressed the second finger in, working them both together as I very carefully began stretching him.

His leg tightened around the back of my thigh and his eyes squeezed shut.

"Open your eyes, baby. Keep 'em on me."

His eyes flashed open and he sucked in a sharp breath before nodding.

I whispered, "Are you okay, Edward?"

He nodded again and smiled softly, "I'm okay, Jay."

I took my time and continued with the two fingers until he was breathing better and starting to move a little against them.

I brought the third finger to his entrance now and whispered, "We can stop anytime you wanna stop, Eddie. All ya gotta do is tell me to. Okay?"

He nodded but his eyes were wide as they glanced briefly past me before locking back on mine again.

I took a deep breath and whispered, "What do you see, baby?"

He let out a breath and spoke quietly, "I…I…um…"

I whispered, "Edward…I want you to tell me everything you see or hear or feel or even smell…you gotta tell me, baby, or I can't help you."

His fingers tightened in my curls as he looked almost pained, "I don't want to tell you because I don't want you to stop."

I smiled softly at him, "I'll only stop if you tell me too. We can work through everything else, okay?"

This seemed to ease his mind a little as he let out another breath and smiled softly, "Okay. I, um…I saw a shadow, kind of, whipping by…but it only lasted a second."

I nodded and whispered, "Try to keep your eyes on mine, darlin."

He nodded and I continued fingering his entrance gently.

After a few minutes, I whispered, "Do you think you're ready for more?"

I teased my third finger softly against his hole and he nodded, "Yeah, Jay. I'm ready."

I smiled, "I love you."

He smiled back, "I love you too."

Carefully, I eased the third finger in and he squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a deep breath.

"Eyes on me, Eddie," I rasped out as my breathing was starting to get a little heavy by the feeling of him around my fingers and the intensity of how I felt about him willingly just giving himself to me.

He opened his eyes and they were wide as his breathing hitched. I whispered, "Are you okay?"

He let out a breath and in shaky breaths answered, "It feels okay…I…um…I'm starting to hear…whispers…very soft but I can hear them."

I nodded, "If I keep talking while we do this, do ya think that'll help?"

He nodded and tightened his arms around my neck, "Yes, please talk to me. I need to hear _your _voice. I need to smell your honey breath and feel it against my neck. Ramble if you have to…just please talk to me."

I pulled him closer and gazed into his pretty green eyes. Then I just began rambling as I whispered, "When I was a little boy, I used to daydream a lot. I guess I've always been a hopeless romantic cuz I used to daydream of growin up one day and fallin in love. I'd dream of pretty green eyes cuz they were my favorite color and reminded me of the forest by my granny's house. I loved playin in that forest, surrounded by a canvas of rich greens. It was my refuge. Then when mama took me away, we drove all over the place but this one time, we drove through Kentucky in the fall. I was taken by the changing leaves. The gold and orange and bronze and auburn colors. The deep colors all dancing together reminded me of my version of the Sistine Chapel I had painted underneath my kitchen table. I fell in love with autumn, it became my favorite time of year. When I saw you, the first thing I noticed was your eyes…they were prettier than any lush forest I had ever seen. The second thing I noticed was your hair. It was the deepest auburn with splashes of bronze…it reminded me of autumn. I think I might have loved you from the first moment I saw you."

He moaned softly as his eyes rolled back and his head lulled, "Oh Jay…oh God…"

I whispered, "Eyes on me, Eddie."

He quickly raised them back to mine although they were no longer wide or anxious, now they were hooded and needful.

I continued gently moving my fingers in and out of him, slowly stretching him for me as he now started carefully moving with them.

I kissed his lips gently and continued rambling, "The first time I thought I might be fallin _in_ love with you was when we were fourteen. It was the night of your piano recital. I remember standing off to the side of the stage and watching you play. I had never seen nothing more beautiful than you when you were lost in your music. But it wasn't just about the way your eyes closed and the way you swayed to the music…it was the small smile that played on your lips. Your real smiles…they were reserved for me and that was the first time I saw one that was completely for you and you alone. I was mesmerized by the way your fingers moved over the keys so easily and enchanted by the melody that poured out of you. That night…I dreamt of your fingers playing along my skin as easily as you played that piano. After that dream, I couldn't get the thoughts and images outta my mind."

He was moving against my fingers now and moaning softly. I watched as his hand trailed down my side and to his hard cock. He wrapped his fingers around it and started pumping slowly to match my fingers.

I curled my fingers a bit and he let out a long low moan, "Oh yeah, Jay…just like that, baby…"

I smiled, "Ah…I found your magic spot."

He smiled back through breathless moans and whimpers, "Yeah…don't stop…"

I keep rubbing his magic spot with my fingers as he slowly jerks himself off…and I whisper, "Wasn't planning on stopping, babe."

He starts shaking slightly in my arms as his head falls to my shoulder and he whimpers, "I'm…I'm going to…oh God, Jay…"

And I feel his warm sticky wetness shooting onto our stomachs. I'm so hard that it's starting to hurt again.

He pants for a minute before reaching over and grabbing the sheet to clean us up. And I'm wanting him now…but I gotta make sure he's okay first.

I whisper as he stares into my eyes, shoulders still trembling slightly from his orgasm, "What do you see, Edward?"

His gaze is intense through half lidded eyes and under long onyx lashes as he whispers, "Blue eyes that could rival the sky…golden curls that would make even the sun envious…all I see is you, Jay."

I slowly remove my fingers and lay him back as I pull myself above him. I brush my tongue along my bottom and whisper, "What do you hear?"

He smiles at me with that beautiful crooked grin, "I hear your breaths becoming more and more shallow…I hear your southern drawl becoming deeper and deeper…I hear the sound our bodies make as they slide over one another…all I hear is you."

I reach over and grab the lube, flip the top open and pour a little in my hand before I start stroking myself softly and his entrance to get us ready.

I whisper with a smile of my own, "What do you smell?"

He laughs softly and whispers, "I smell the scent of sex…musky and sweaty mingled with the honey of your breath…all I smell is you and it's mouthwatering."

I lean back over him with one hand by his head and the other wrapped around my cock. I position it at his entrance and just rub it gently as I whisper, "What do you feel, Edward?"

His breathing hitches and his arms wrap around my neck, "I feel the heat of our bodies from being so close…I feel the warmth of your breath washing over me…I feel the intensity and the passion of every touch from your fingertips…I feel you, Jasper."

I take a deep breath and whisper, "You ready to feel all of me, Eddie?"

He nods with a breathless, "I'm ready, Jay."

I whisper, "I love you."

He whispers back, "I love you too."

One more deep breath and I begin slowly pushing the head of my cock inside of him. I squeeze my eyes shut for just a second as I gasp at the tight heat that now surrounds me.

His breath hitches as his back arches slightly and his eyes roll back. I stay still for a moment before whispering, "You okay, babe?"

He pants out, "Yeah…I'm okay, baby."

Very slowly, to the point of agony, I begin rocking my hips…a little in…a little out…

Now I'm clenching the sheet between my fingers as both hands are now by his face and I'm struggling to go so slow cuz, seriously…there had been nothing in my entire life better than being inside of Edward Cullen.

Both of our chests are heaving as it seems to take an eternity to get myself all the way inside. Once I feel his ass against my thighs, I moan softly as my eyes squeeze shut again, "Oh my God…feels…so…so…good, baby…"

My body is trembling and I'm fighting to just stay coherent cuz I'm fuckin gone right now…stuck in some fuckin wonderful misty haze of bliss and ecstasy.

And then I feel satin fingertips brush the sweaty curls from my forehead and I hear the soft breathless whisper, "Jay? Are you okay, baby?"

My eyes snap open to see his hooded ones focused on mine. I'm still struggling as I answer, "Yeah…I should be…askin…you that, Eddie. You okay?"

He nods slightly and whispers, "I'm okay, Jay…" before his fingers wrap themselves in my curls and pulls my lips to his.

I let out the breath I was holding as he kissed me deep and passionate and fuckin incredible. His fingers wrapped in my curls as he started rocking his hips gently, letting me know that I could move.

I laid down on my elbows as I wrapped my fingers in soft bronze locks. His legs wrapped around me with his feet locked together above my ass.

I pulled out slowly about half way before pushing gently back in. My eyes rolled back as I broke from the kiss with a long moan. I laid my forehead on his shoulder with my eyes squeezed shut cuz this was even better than any of my fantasies.

To say that I was feeling a little overwhelmed would be a huge fuckin understatement.

Our bodies were pressed against each other so tightly that there was no air between us. I could feel his cock on my stomach, hardening once again as I continued moving in and out of him. He was moaning softly as his fingers would clench my curls or grip my shoulders.

Once I finally got myself under a little control, so that I wouldn't cum just from fuckin lookin at him, I lifted my head again and looked at his face.

His head was pushed back into the mattress and his eyes were shut. His mouth was open as his breathless moans empowered me. He looked like he was enjoying this.

So I had to ask through ragged breaths, "Does it…feel good?"

His eyes snapped open as a breathtaking crooked grin came to his cherry lips, "I've never…felt anything…better than…this. You're fucking…incredible, Jay."

_Hells fuckin yeah…_

That gave me the little confidence boost that I needed as I couldn't help but smile, "Yeah?"

He moaned and pulled my lips back down to his, "Fuck yeah."

Now, I was feelin all cocky and shit so things started to heat up…

The feeling of his hands all over me, his hard body beneath mine, and the tight heat surrounding me made my whole body feel like it was about to combust. This was how it was supposed to feel…

I lifted up and slid one hand down his glistening body to his thigh, gently lifting his calf up onto my shoulder while his other leg stayed wrapped around me. I pulled all the way out and slid back in a little harder this time.

This let me get a little deeper cuz Lord knows, I just couldn't get deep enough when it came to my beautiful boy.

He moaned loudly, "Oh holy fuckin hell! Just like that, baby…fuck!"

And I decided that Edward was right…making love didn't have to be all slow and shit…it just had to be about love.

_And **fuck **__did I love this boy…_

My fingers gripped his hips as I started moving in and out of a little faster and a little harder. I moaned, "You like that, baby?"

He groaned as his hand came down and wrapped around his hard cock, "Oh God yes, Jay! So fucking good…don't stop…don't stop…"

He was pumping his cock now to match my thrusts. My head lulled back at the image of my cock buried deep inside my boy's ass while I he jerked himself off. The sound of our bodies slapping together and the feel of our sticky, sweaty skin sliding against each other was bringing me close fast.

I brought my head back and stared down at my beautiful boy, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were squeezed shut as I felt him get even tighter around me before spilling onto his stomach with a grunt, "Oh fuck…how the hell…do I have…anything left?!"

And that's all it took until my orgasm came rushing through like a fuckin tidal wave. Two more deep pushes into Edward's tight ass and I was groaning as my whole body clenched and I came hard as hell, "Motherfuckin…ain't fuckin…done with…you yet…Edward, fuck!"

We were both panting as our chests heaved in and out. After I came, I still didn't get all the way soft so I just continued gently moving in and out of him as he moaned. The sight of his sexy stomach all covered in his cum was just too much for me and I felt myself becoming hard again.

There are two fuckin great things about being 16...stamina and recovery time.

I rasped out, "Are you okay?"

He nodded with a deviant smirk on his face, "Yeah, I'm good…want to go again?"

_It's like he read my fuckin mind._

I smile and leaned down over him, pressing my body to his and getting us even stickier from Eddie's man juice.

I take his lips to mine and don't hold nothing back as I shove my tongue down his throat, which he takes very happily and does the same thing to me.

I wrap my arms around his back and his arms are around my neck so I hold on tight and sit back on my calves, bringing him up with me.

He gasps as he now sits on my lap, and more importantly, my dick.

He looks down at me and blushes, "You want me to…um…ride you?"

I smile and move my knees forward just a little until his back is against the wall, "Not yet…I was thinkin bout takin ya up against this wall right here. That okay with you?"

He moans as my hands go to his ass to hold him as I start using the leverage from being on my knees to slowly move in and out of him, "Yeah…fuck yeah, Jay."

I smile as I start pushing into him deeper and harder, "Fuck yeah, Eddie."

His arms are wrapped tight around my shoulders as I'm making him bounce up and down on my cock. Our bodies are making those slapping sounds again along with a creak in the bed. His breaths are coming out in hard grunts and moans.

I whisper, "Tell me if you need to stop, okay baby?"

He nods and rasps out, "I will…but I fucking…guarantee you…that I won't…want you to…stop. Ever."

My arms and legs are aching but the burn they feel is fuckin amazing. I can feel Edward getting hard again and I can't help myself from pulling him away from the wall and turning to the side, throwing him down onto the mattress underneath me, our bodies never disconnecting.

He moans loudly as his feet press against the headboard to bring himself up to meet my now wild thrusts in and out of his slick, hard body.

We kiss again with lips and tongues and teeth as our fingers grab onto any available body part we can grab. We're both moaning and grunting and sweating and cursing cuz if he's feelin half as good as I'm feelin right now…Heaven can't compete with this shit right here.

And then, he wraps one leg around me and pushes to roll me over on my back, never breaking our kiss as he sits on top of me now.

I moan and my knees go up and my feet plant in the mattress to be able to fuck him back. I'm getting so fuckin deep inside him right now that my whole body is shaking with every thrust up being met with him riding me hard and fast.

But I'm a dominant creature by nature, so eventually, I flip him back over on his back and take over.

**But**, I soon find out that Eddie is developing some of my characteristics as he pushes me back again onto my back and takes over.

The night goes on like this for a long fuckin time, until the sun is burning my eyes and the birds are singing outside.

And I'm real fuckin close as he spills again between our stomachs, so I roll him back over and slam into him with a few wild hard strokes until I feel it…that cosmic explosion of pleasure and happiness.

I cum hard with our lips together, mouths open and swallowing each other's moans.

Then I collapse on top of him. Both of us covered in sweat, bodies aching, chests heaving.

My arms and legs are like Jello but I manage to roll over off of him so I don't crush him.

We take a few minutes to regain our breath. He looks over at me with bloodshot eyes and a beautiful crooked grin as he pants out, "You really thought…you wouldn't be…any good?"

I smile now as I rasp out, "So, it was…good then?"

He laughs breathlessly as he holds out his fist for me to bump, "You're the…motherfucking man, Jay."

I laugh now and bump his fist back.

We laugh for a second and I'm just overcome with exhaustion so I whisper, "C'mere, baby."

He raises an arm that falls limply back to the mattress, "Can't move."

I laugh, "How bout I help ya?"

I managed enough strength to reach over and wrap an arm around him as he reached back over me and, together, we pulled him close enough so his head could lay on my chest.

He curled into my chest and took a deep breath, sleepily whispering, "I love you, Jay."

I smile as my eyelids get impossibly heavy and whisper, "Mmm…love you too, Eddie."

I don't know who fell asleep first this time.

**So, I hope I did it justice. Next chapter will be EPOV, recapping this little session and visiting his mother's grave before they head to Indiana. Just to let you guys know, I still have quite a bit of the story left to tell, so as long as you guys stick with me, this will be a pretty damn long story.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Eddie's POV**

My eyes fluttered open, then quickly shut again as the bright sunlight poured in through the open patio doors.

I take a deep breath and crack them open again. The goofy, blissfully happy smile that only he can give me comes to my face as I watch the rays of light dance along his skin and melt into his golden curls.

So I lay my chin back down on his sun kissed chest and just gaze happily at the most beautiful man I have ever seen.

And I take the time to worship this ethereal creature lying partially underneath me. My eyes tip toe along every inch of his angelic body…ready to commit every scar, every freckle, every perfect imperfection, to memory…but then realizing that I already have.

I sigh happily as the grin on my face threatens to crack my cheeks because I can't stop smiling…but then, why would I?

I just had the most incredible…no, spiritual, earth shattering, awe-inspiring night of my life. Being with Jasper is like being in Heaven.

My eyes close lazily as the memories from this morning play behind my closed lids.

_"Do you really think that I could stand to make love to you and not look in your eyes?"_

_I don't even know why I was so worried that he might want it from behind…I should've known better, especially for our first time. Jay always loved looking into my eyes when we were being intimate. He could easily read everything there and always knew the right thing to say or do._

_They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul…Jasper saw my soul better than anyone…I just hoped he could see his reflection back in my eyes because our souls were one. Aristotle said it best, 'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.' Jay and I dwelled inside of each other, even when we were thousands of miles apart. _

_Visions of darkened, golden curls, heavy and damp with sweat hung down from his perfect face…his eyes were a storm of blue, ever-changing and magnificent…his pink lips were swollen and needy of my taste._

_Sticky, heated flesh burning up the sheets as our bodies clung together in our little spiritual rendezvous of love and lust and wanton desire._

_The sounds of skin against skin, glistening and steamy and desperate to get just a little closer. _

_I most definitely believed in fate…how could I not? I am positive that there was a greater force working to bring me my angel…they say that God answers prayers in His own time…I just had to wait a few years for mine to be answered._

_It's still amazing to me…the effect I have on him. This beautiful, perfect creature shudders from my touch…aches for it…needs and desires it as badly as I desire him. Just amazing._

_"Shit, pretty boy…keep sayin them pretty words and you're gonna make me cum 'fore we ever get started."_

_He thinks my words are pretty but he has the lover's tongue, sweet and sultry and causing the prickly rise of my heated flesh…among other things…_

_Jasper rivals even Raphael the Archangel, thought to be the Patron Saint of Lovers. Raphael means, God's remedy because he banished the darkness from Tobin's eyes…Jasper has banished the darkness from mine._

_And who are we kidding…there is no better lover than Jay._

_His words are so loving and moving…his soft touches and gentle caresses convey every powerful emotion behind them…I can see everything in his baby blue eyes._

_I was heartbroken when he thought he had messed everything up by being too fast…I'm thankful that I was able to help him realize that uncontrollable passion and desire…only make for better love making. _

_I mean, really, what's the point of making love to someone without that crazy, frenetic heat and passion that cause you to lose all control to your desires and obey the commands of your body and heart?_

_I was so terrified when I saw the black shadow whip behind him against the full white moonlight. Not terrified of what I saw, but terrified that he would stop. I should've known that he'd make them go away. His fingers began their healing touch as his eyes held my own causing everything else to just fade away._

_I was anticipating pain but his searing fingertips didn't burn like Hell's fire…no, they burned me with passion and love and tenderness…only bringing pleasure so hot that I feared my body might burst into flames…but then, it would have most definitely been worth it._

_His sweet profession of when he first realized he was falling in love with me…easily drowned out the heinous whispers and laughter of the imaginary demons who tried to take my happiness away…and Jay, once again, won the battle easily, emerging this time with no scars._

_By the time he actually began pushing himself inside of me…I was already lost in pleasure._

_I expected an excruciating pain, at least for a few minutes, until I was used to it…but I felt none. The only thing I felt was his hard, slick body sliding sensually against mine…the heat and honey of his breath washing over me as soft moans poured from his pink plump lips…and the overpowering feeling of my angel loving me from the inside out...filling me inside with his pure sticky honey._

_If the demons tried to make an appearance, they were out of luck because I was completely absorbed…encompassed…infused with nothing but Jasper. He filled every one of my senses to the brim until they were overflowing…nothing else could possibly get in._

_I felt the tremble in his body as he made love to me…I felt the catch in his breath and the pounding in his chest…I felt the overwhelming realization that this was really happening and I had to ask him if he was okay._

_I had never felt anything better._

_Being inside of Jasper is truly a gift from God…but Jasper being inside of me…it was like the doors of Heaven opened up and welcomed me home._

_Corny I know, but it was true. This was right for me. This was what I wanted. This was where I belonged now and forever._

_Not to say that I didn't want to be inside of him anymore because I most certainly do…it's just…after everything that happened to me, I never dreamed how good this could possibly feel. The reality was way better than the fantasy._

_And the wall…oh God, when he pushed me against the wall…_

_After I walked in on him and Maria, before we were "together", occasionally my mind would drift and I would wonder what it would be like to be taken against the wall by Jasper Whitlock._

_Now I can understand why Maria was so angry when he dumped her…after experiencing that, I would be mad as hell too._

_The cold hard wall pressed against my back…his muscular hot chest pressed against my front…his strong thighs flexing as he squeezed my ass with those rough fingers and fucked me…ugh…I wonder how much longer he's going to sleep…_

I pressed my lips against his chest and kissed it softly as he began to stir. He mumbled in his sleep, "Mmm, Eddie…"

His cock started to stir now as well.

I smiled as I continued covering his chest in soft wet kisses. His fingers instinctively reached for my hair and tangled themselves in it. He started moaning faintly until I licked his ribcage…then he started giggling.

_I found a ticklish spot!_

I licked it again earning another cute giggle from him. I looked up at him now as I gently ran my tongue along his ribcage while ghosting my fingers down his side. He couldn't decide if he wanted to moan or giggle.

Now I started laughing as he started squirming underneath me and trying to push me away…but I was having none of that so I grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head.

I was straddling him now as I leaned down into his neck and whispered, "Wake up, love."

He groaned and bucked up into me which caused my cock to get a little stiffer.

I bit my lip and took a breath to calm myself, "Wake up, love."

He started shaking his head and mumbled, "Don't wanna…"

I leaned down and rested my head on his shoulder, letting go of his hands as he wrapped his arms around me.

I whispered, "Baby…honey…come on, lovekins…rise and shine…."

He started giggling again as one eye opened and he looked at me, "Lovekins, huh?"

Now I started laughing as he squeezed me tighter and whispered, "Mornin', darlin."

I sighed happily in his arms, "Good morning, babe."

It didn't escape my attention that our cocks were still hard and pressing against each other. A small moan escaped my lips as he started rolling his hips gently underneath mine.

I lifted my head to look into those familiar hooded midnight eyes as he closed the short distance and pressed his lips to mine. It didn't take long for the kiss to deepen and soon I was meeting his hips with my own.

His hand pulled away from my back and a moment later I broke the kiss panting as he smirked, holding the bottle of lube in his hand, "Wanna fuck?"

As much as I wanted to…the sharp pain in my backside made me bite my lip as I mumbled, "Um…I'm a little sore, Jay."

Now he broke out into a full on dimpled grin as he grabbed my hand and placed the lube in it, "I'm not."

I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, "Eddie, did ya think that just cuz you bottomed for me now that I wouldn't wanna do it for you anymore?"

I could feel my cheeks start to heat up as I smiled sheepishly, "Um…I guess I kind of did."

He just shook his head and pulled me closer, "I'll always want you, Edward…any way I can get you. And I figured since we're already covered in jizz, we might as well start the mornin off right, before we shower."

I smiled crookedly now as I flipped open the top and poured some lube on my hand. I took a few minutes to prepare him before I was finally finding the relief I so anxiously needed.

I slowly pushed my length inside of him until I was fully seated. He moaned as I began rocking my hips gently, sliding in and out of his firm, tan ass…

_Tan? Why the hell is his ass so tan?_

I couldn't stop myself from asking in shallow breaths as I moved in and out of him, "Jay? Why is…your ass so…tan?"

His eyes opened now and he laughed breathlessly, "Skinny dippin, baby…"

I felt my jaw clench and my brows pull together as I growled, "Who the fuck…did you go skinny…dipping with?"

He rolled his eyes, groaning and before I knew it, he had rolled me over onto my back as he began riding me, "Seriously, Edward? Ya…wanna have this…conversation now?"

I gripped his hips as a long moan escaped my lips and I pushed my head back into the pillows…but yes, I most certainly did want to have this conversation now.

I panted out, "Yes. Now. Who?"

He laughed again as he bounced up and down on my cock, "My cousins…dipshit."

_Oh…hadn't thought about that…wait, did he just call me a dipshit?_

Now, I pushed him until he was on his back and I hovered above him. I pushed into him a little harder causing him to moan out now as _his _head pushed back into the pillow.

"Did you just…call me a…dipshit?"

He just moaned and nodded, "Yup…sure did."

I smirked now as I slipped my arms underneath his back and panted out, "Oh, it's on…Whitlock."

He laughed breathlessly, "Bring it…Cullen."

I rocked back on my calves bringing him up to a sitting position on my lap, just like he did with me last night, causing him to gasp as his arms tightened around my neck.

I smirked as he held on tight and I pushed him back against the headboard, "Don't…underestimate me…Jay."

His head fell back against the headboard with a thud as I used both hands to grip the top of the wooden ledge behind him. I used it as leverage as I began giving it as good as I got it last night.

His eyes were closed tightly as his mouth hung open muttering cuss words and his hands clenched my shoulders.

But I knew it must've still felt good because his dick was wedged between us, throbbing and jerking and hard as steel.

I was ramming him against the headboard and I hoped I wasn't hurting his back, but he didn't seem to mind as his hand snaked in between us and began pumping his hard shaft in rhythm to my thrusts.

I was getting really close now and my eyes squeezed shut but the wonderful sounds of sex filled the air to bring me to the edge…his heavy breath littered with swears and grunts…the 'smack' of our bodies coming together hard and fast and in rapid succession…the 'thud' of the headboard slamming into the wall over and over again…even the pounding back from the other side of the wall screaming at us to "knock it off!"

Jay grunted in ragged breaths, "Fuck that motherfucker…we're checkin out soon…don't fuckin stop, baby…"

I opened my eyes and smiled, whispering breathlessly, "Wasn't planning on stopping, babe."

He smiled back and I took his lips to mine as we both soon leapt off the edge, him cumming hard and wet against my stomach and me following soon after him, deep inside his very tan ass.

He was looking down at me with a wide dimpled grin and I smirked, "What's my motherfucking name, lovekins?"

He laughed as he leaned down and kissed me, "Edward motherfuckin Cullen, baby."

We were both giggling as we kissed a few times and finally broke away to begin our day. I was glad that we had at least started the morning off right because today was bound to be a difficult one for both of us.

I was anxious to visit my mother's grave and say my final goodbye to her, yet I was more anxious about Jay visiting his mother. I loved seeing him like he was right now, smiling and carefree…the thought of what that woman was capable of doing to him, even behind those prison walls, made my stomach retch.

We peeled ourselves from bed…and yes, we did have to peel ourselves because we were, in fact, covered in jizz, sticky and crusty and yep, it was pretty gross.

We took a long time in the shower, taking the opportunity to wash each other gently and relish in the loving afterglow of our recent experiences.

But my favorite part of the shower, was when we just held each other close and kissed as the hot water streamed down over us. We kissed forever, until I heard my cell phone ringing my dad's ring tone and figured I better grab it.

I hopped out of the shower, dripping wet as I grabbed my phone. Jay turned off the water right as I answered it and breathed out, "Hey dad!"

He laughed, "Good morning, son. How are my boys today?"

I smiled as I felt Jasper standing behind me, towel drying my hair as I laughed, "Good, dad…we just got out of the shower…"

Jasper busted out laughing and I stood there frozen, feeling my whole body turn red as I realized that I just told my dad that _we _just got out of the shower.

I rolled my eyes when I heard my dad laughing on the other end, "Little Freudian slip there, son?"

I chewed on my lip, "Um…yeah, sorry about that."

He sighed and he was smiling, I could tell, "Don't worry about it…your mother and I just got out of the bath so…"

I groaned and ran my hand over my face, "Ugh! No, dad! Please, no talk about you and mom and the bath ever, ever again."

His laughter started to die down as he chuckled, "Okay, okay…boy, this talk went south fast, huh?"

Now I chuckled as I felt Jay wrap the towel around my waist for me. I turned my head slightly and mouthed 'Thanks' to which he just looked at me and smiled before kissing my forehead and turning to dry himself off.

"So, anyway, I just wanted to check in with you boys. Are you still planning on going to the cemetery today, son?"

I sighed now as I walked into the other room and sat down on the bed, "Um, yeah."

He spoke quietly, "It will be okay, Edward. I hope you know that your mother would be very proud of you."

I could feel my eyes starting to burn so I quickly wiped at them, "Yeah? I don't know, dad. I don't know how'd she feel about me."

"Why on earth would she be anything other than proud of you, son? You're one of the most incredible people I've ever known."

I wiped again at my eyes and took a deep breath, "What if…um…dad, it talks about homosexuality in the Bible. My mother was insanely religious. What if she…she may have hated me for it."

He sighs as he speaks, "Edward, I'm not an overly religious man but I do believe in God. I don't have all of the answers but I can give you my opinion on the subject matter. We are all sinners, son, there is no way around that. The Bible also says that sin is sin, plain and simple. We are not to question Him but that doesn't mean we have to have all the answers. I simply believe that humans are in no place to judge others. I believe that homosexuality is a trait that someone is born with, just like the color of their eyes or hair. Therefore, I don't believe it to be a sin. I don't see how anyone could be judged badly for simply loving another human…for we are all God's children and a real Father could never shun His child."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed, "Do you really believe that, dad?"

"Yes, I do, son."

I smiled a little and let out a breath, "Thanks.

He spoke again, "You're welcome, son. Now, are you boys still planning on visiting Linda today?"

I looked over at Jay who had just walked back in the room with the towel around his waist.

"Um…yeah…"

I watched as he opened the towel and brought it up to his hair, drying his golden curls. I remembered the first time I saw him naked…his calves and thighs were muscular but lean. I traced the lines with my eyes and my breathing hitched as I came to his ass.

He had the perfect ass.

I bit my lip to stifle a moan as he bent down and slid on a pair of white boxer briefs. He pulled them up over his strong tan calves…his solid sexy thighs…and over that perfect ass.

I could see the faint tint of his tan skin through the white cotton and…

"Edward! Quit looking at whatever you're looking at and pay attention!"

My father's voice ringing in my ear brought me back to reality as I felt my whole body turn red.

_I completely forgot he was on the phone…_

"Um…I wasn't…um…shit, sorry, dad…"

He laughed as he sighed out, "Language, young man. Now, let me speak to Jasper for a few minutes."

"Okay, hang on."

"Hey, son?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Here's Jay."

I handed the phone to Jay who was now just laughing at my precarious little situation earlier.

His demeanor changed when he started talking to dad. I figured they were talking about his upcoming visit with Linda. I knew dad had been really worried about it. He nearly got on a plane to come and bring us home when he found out we had visited my childhood home but after a lot of talking, he finally relented and just made me promise to call the Doc and talk about it. Our schedule was planned in the morning so I would wait and talk with him then.

It wasn't much later until we were on the road, a bouquet of flowers in hand, as we made our way to the cemetery.

Jasper was driving and he held my hand as we pulled in. He ran inside the mortuary and found out where her stone was located before we slowly began driving there.

I looked around at all of the headstones and flowers and mourners. I had never been to a cemetery before. I wasn't sure if I wanted to ever come back to one.

We came to a stop and Jasper turned off the car.

He turned to me and brushed his fingertips along my cheek, "This is it, darlin."

I nodded, my emotions starting to already bubble inside of me that I was scared to speak, thinking they might just bubble over.

I couldn't will myself to move as I sat there, looking down and taking in deep breaths.

His arms slipped around me and pulled me to him. His fingers brushed through my hair as he whispered, "You don't have to leave this car, Edward. You can say good bye right here, baby."

I shook my head and took one more deep breath.

_It's my fault she's gone…I had to ask for her forgiveness…had to tell her I was sorry…had to make sure she knew she was worth more than a drive by farewell…_

I slowly pulled away and opened my door.

I stepped on weary legs and felt the ground tremble beneath me…

_Hold it together, Edward…_

'_Your fault…all your fault…'_

All the air rushed out of me as I heard the haunting whispers in my ear. I shook my head to rid myself and was suddenly surrounded by warmth.

His arm was around my waist and he pulled my arm around his shoulder as I felt my knees weaken again.

I looked up through burning eyes to see his truthful blue eyes staring back at me.

He whispered, "One step at a time, baby…we'll go slow…"

'_Weak…pathetic…always terrified…'_

I pulled away from him and stood my ground as I wiped away at my eyes furiously, "No! I can do this by myself! I'm not…weak!"

He shoved his hands in his pockets, probably to keep himself from reaching out for me. He cocked his head to the side and stared at me so intensely that I soon found my eyes retreating to the ground to break free as the confidence started slowly seeping out of me.

His voice was strong and confident as he spoke, "Raise them pretty green eyes and look at me, Edward."

I lifted my gaze slowly and was met with a storm of blue and gray, "I don't know what they're telling you right now, Eddie…and frankly, I don't care cuz it's all bullshit. It's your subconscious makin you feel guilty cuz you blame yourself for breaking a damn glass and bein too scared to clean it up. You were six years old for fucks sake. You're not weak. What happened to your mama ain't your fault. Your father killed your mama cuz he was sick and ain't nothing you coulda done to change it. Your mama wouldn't want you carrying this burden, man. Go and talk to her. Tell her everything and get it all out and then let this shit go, baby, cuz that's all these demons are…guilt…fear…ya gotta let it go, sugar."

_How is he so incredibly smart?_

I took another breath and nodded as I reached my hand out to him. He took it and whispered, "I love you, Edward."

I whispered back, "I love you too, Jasper. Thank you."

He half smiled and we started walking over to the grave. When we reached the stone, my eyes burned hot with tears as I whispered her name, "Elizabeth Marie Masen."

I bent down on one knee and laid the bouquet of flowers over her grave. Memories came running through my mind as I broke down. Of course, my angel was there this time to hold me as I cried.

_I lay crying on my bedroom floor. My whole body is freezing and shaking. Colored paper covers my floor in shreds as the world that I made for myself all came crumbling down. _

_No more flowers._

_No more stars._

_No more sun or moon._

_Nothingness surrounds me once again._

_The door creaks as it slowly opens and panic sets through me. I scurry quickly along my floor, backing up into a corner, even as the fresh red welts on my back burn and ache._

_I just know he's back to hurt me again._

_I'm relieved when I see her glistening eyes as she quickly rushes to me and scoops me up in her arms. I yelp as she holds me close and rocks me because my body is sore and tender._

_I want to tell her that I'm scared but not being allowed to speak very much, I can't find the words. _

_So, I reach and grab my Bible, quickly turning to Luke 12:5. She reads it and I follow along in my mind._

'_But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.'_

_My mind screams at her to understand me. He will kill me…he will destroy me…us…I can feel it with everything I have, even at five years old._

_But she never could read my mind._

_She cried softly and continued rocking me in her lap. I relished the comfort of being in her arms, even if I knew it would soon pass. Sometimes the pain was almost worth it because sometimes, my mother would hold me and I wouldn't be alone._

_I fell asleep and woke up on my bed. I looked as my Bible laid open next to me and I read silently the passage that was underlined, 'Psalms 61:1, Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.'_

_I jumped from my bed and knelt down, folding my hands and bowing my head. I began praying silently, 'Dear God, please send me an angel…please save me…'_

"Sshh…I'm here, baby…I'm here…"

His honey breath washes over me and I raise my sore eyes to look into his. They are a tempest of blue and midnight and I get lost in them for awhile until my sobs finally cease and my body stills.

We are both now sitting on the ground as he pulls my back to his chest and wraps his arms around me. His long legs are stretched out as my knees are pulled to my chin.

I start speaking with her in my thoughts…

_Mom…I'm so sorry that I messed up your plans…_

But then I remember that I am allowed to speak now so I take a breath and just start talking.

"Please forgive me, mom. We could've escaped…you should still be here and I feel like it's my fault that you're not. I messed up everything. I hate…I hate that your final breath…was ended by me. If I could've fought back…but I was so scared…"

I rambled for a long time as I just spoke aloud every thought that came into my mind. I apologized and asked for forgiveness. I told her everything I had wanted to tell her back then of how afraid I was and how I knew something really bad was going to happen.

Once I started speaking about my entire childhood, I began to question things…

"Why did you wait so long to leave? Why didn't you try to stop him from hurting me all those times? You were just as scared as I was, right? But…but I was the child…why didn't you protect me?"

Jasper stayed silent and just held onto me with his face buried into my shoulder from behind me.

Accepting that I would never get the answers I sought, I moved on and told her about Carlisle and Esme. I told her about the bullying and psychiatric hospitals…the cutting and the demons. I told her about Jasper.

Finally, I wanted to talk to her about one more thing but didn't want Jay there so that I didn't inadvertently hurt his feelings.

"Baby? Um…would you mind giving me a few minutes alone?"

He kissed my cheek and whispered, "Not at all, darlin. I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette and wait by the car."

I whispered my thanks as he stood and laid the single rose he had on her grave. He whispered, "I promise I'll always take care of him, Mrs. Masen…and I'll always love him with everything I have and cherish every moment I have with him. I hope you would've liked me cuz I'm gonna marry your son and I know how important it would be for him to have your approval. So, I hope you approve."

He turned and winked at me as he walked away which made me smile.

Once I was sure he couldn't hear me, I sighed and closed my eyes as I began whispering, "I'm in love, mom. I'm not sure what you'd think about it but…I just can't…I can't believe that God didn't send him to me. I can't believe that God would hate me for loving him. He is everything I ever wanted and so much more than I realized I needed. I can tell you for certain that if he hadn't found me…I would not be here. If not for him…I would've ended my life by now…I'm certain of it…or I would still be locked up in a crazy house. He not only protected me physically from my tormentors…he protected my sanity when I was losing it…he still does. And if I'm wrong about God's feelings towards us…then I will face my judgment with a happy heart because an eternity in Hell…is well worth one lifetime with him loving me."

I took a breath and glanced over at him. The sun was high in the sky sending golden rays of light that only made his beauty shine that much brighter. He was leaning against the car, taking a drag from his cigarette and absent mindedly running his fingers through his honey curls.

_Perfection._

I smiled as I turned back and kept talking, "He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, mom. And he's so good to me. The thing with Jay…he knows what I'm thinking without me having to say a word. I tried so hard to communicate with you but…I'm not sure if you ever understood what was going on inside my head. He does. My life really didn't begin until him. Before him, I was alive but not living. He makes me want to get out of bed in the morning…or stay in bed…jeez, um…never mind. Anyway, I just thought you should know that I'm happier than I ever dreamed. I wanted you to know that my adopted parents are simply amazing and I have incredible friends. I hope that you're happy for me…"

"Edward Masen?"

I heard the whisper of my name as I turned my head, certain that my mind was playing tricks on me again.

However when I looked up and saw bright emerald eyes staring into mine…I realized that my demons were always faceless…this one looked very much like me, bronze hair and all.

I gasped as a wave of panic set in and I started backing up along the ground to get away.

He took a step forward as I shook my head, unable to form any words as my heart felt like it might beat out of my chest.

I was screaming in my head for Jasper and just like I told my mother…he was there.

I watched as he jumped between me and the green eyed man, shoving him back as he growled, "Back the fuck up! Don't take another fuckin step towards him!"

The man's eyes went wide as he huffed, "Who the hell are you?"

I was sucking in air, trying to take in the sight before me as Jay stood protectively in front of me.

His fists were balled up as he sneered, "I'm the motherfucker who's gonna make sure you never leave this god damn place if you come close to Edward again."

I scrambled to my feet and stood behind Jasper, peeking over his shoulder. I knew I needed to deal with this but quite frankly, I liked feeling safe behind Jay. I knew he would protect me from anything. He was scared of nothing. Unlike my mother and I.

I took a breath and spoke from behind him, staring curiously but cautiously into the stranger's familiar eyes, "Who are you?"

He sighed as he looked past Jasper at me, "I'm your Uncle Tony, Edward. You got your middle name from me. I could recognize you anywhere."

I shook my head and whispered, "No. I don't remember you."

My breathing hitched as he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. I heard Jasper's breathing hitch, as well.

"I was there…at the hospital after the…incident. Before that, the last time I had seen you, you were three."

My eyes were on fire as I pulled all of memories together but came up with nothing, "I don't…why would my parents have never said anything? They never mentioned you."

His eyes bore into mine as he pulled his hand through his hair, "We had a falling out. I moved away and we lost touch."

I carefully pulled away from Jasper and stood beside him, "Why are you here?"

I finally noticed the flowers in his hand as he glanced down at my mother's grave.

"Your mother…her birthday was a few weeks ago and I missed it. I always bring her flowers."

So many questions were running through my mind, I didn't know where to begin.

"I don't understand. You said you moved away but you bring my mom flowers? Why?"

He nodded, "I did move away, for college. I came back after that day. I bring your mother flowers because she was my friend…my family and I failed her. She has no other family. And after you were gone, I had no other family."

My mind was completely twisted.

I couldn't think straight as I just shook my head and whispered, "I just…I don't understand."

He took another step forward and Jasper did the same thing, standing toe to toe with him.

"I fuckin warned you once. I won't do it again. Step back."

Tony's eyes locked on mine for a moment before he gulped and retreated a few steps. As sweet and wonderful as my Jay was, if you were on his bad side, I could see how terrifying he would be.

I put my hand on Jay's shoulder and whispered, "It's okay, Jay. I'm okay."

His eyes never left the man in front of him.

I watched as Tony's eyes began to glisten and he turned to my mother's grave. Bending down and lying the flowers over top the freshly cut grass, he whispered, "I'm so sorry, Liz. I miss you every day and not a moment goes by that I don't regret the things I've done. I will suffer and repent for my sins every moment of every day. I love you, Lizzie."

He stood back up, shoulders slumped and looking utterly defeated. I really took in his appearance for a moment and reveled in the notion that I had an uncle…a blood relative…my father's brother.

He was tall, around 6'1, it didn't appear that he ate well because he was very thin, his emerald eyes looked tired with dark purple bruises underneath from lack of sleep, he was probably in his late thirties, around Carlisle's age, although the wrinkles around his eyes made him look a little older. His auburn hair was unkempt and his chin was covered in scruff. My eyes traveled to his arms where I noted the dark purple bruises in the crevices of his elbows, where his flannel shirt barely hid them. He was an addict.

He looked down at the ground and sighed, "I'm sorry, Edward. I saw you and I just knew that I should've turned around and came back later but before I knew it…I had walked up and said your name. It would be better if you just pretended this never happened. I'm sorry."

He turned and started to walk away when my heart strings just began to tug fiercely.

"Wait!"

Jasper's head turned to me in shock as I walked past him. Tony stopped and turned back, "Edward…forget that I exist. I promise that it will be better for you in the long run."

I shook my head as Jasper came up beside me again and placed his hand on my back, keeping me calm enough to speak again.

"I can't just pretend that you don't exist. Please. I have so many questions…things that you may be able to answer…"

He pinched the bridge of his nose again and shook his head, "I can't. I can't…talk about it. Just let me walk away." He turned again and started to do just that.

I couldn't stop myself now as I mimicked him and pinched the bridge of my nose as my eyes squeezed shut, "Please Uncle Tony. If you ever loved me at all, even if for just a moment…please talk to me."

He stopped and stood there for a moment, his shoulders shaking as his head hung low. Eventually he turned back around and gave me a half hearted crooked smile, "When you were three, you couldn't say my name. You called me Unky Ony."

I took a breath and spoke again, "Please. I saw a diner just a couple of blocks from here. Let me buy you lunch and we'll talk. Did you drive here?"

He nodded, "Um…yeah. I need to make a quick stop and then I'll meet you there."

_He needed his fix…my heart ached for him…_

I nodded back and told him where it was. I just prayed that he would show up.

When we got in the car, Jay turned to me and sighed, "Are you sure this is a good idea, Edward? The guy's a junkie. Did you see his track marks?"

I nodded as I started the car and began my way out of the cemetery, "Yeah, I know. And I know what he's doing right now but I'm not going to judge him for it, Jay. You know as well as anyone that the things we remember as children aren't necessarily the truth. I just need to know the truth about everything. He's the only person I have to find that out. I don't know if this is a good idea, but I'm doing it anyway."

He just nodded and reached his hand over, lacing his fingers with mine as he whispered, "Fair enough, babe."

We rode in silence to the diner and opted for an outside table since the weather was nice and Jay could smoke.

I played nervously with my cup of sweet tea as Jasper seemed to be surveying everything around us. We were both tense and cautious but I was glad that he didn't fight me on this. He understood, just like he always does.

After about a half hour, I was feeling disheartened and was certain that he wouldn't show. I started to say that we should just leave until Jay leaned forward and sighed, "Here he comes, Eddie."

I let out a breath as he pulled out a chair across from us and sat down. He lit up a cigarette and cleared his throat, "I'm sorry for making you wait so long."

I just smiled and handed him a menu, "It's okay. Order whatever you like."

He smiled back sheepishly and began studying it. The waitress came over and took our order, then left us alone.

We sat there for a moment in awkward silence until he finally cleared his throat and whispered, "What did you want to know?"

I spoke quietly, "Everything. Just start at the beginning."

He nodded and took a drag from his cigarette, his hands fidgeting nervously on top of the table.

"I'm four years younger than Edward was. Growing up, we were as close as two brothers could be. He always looked out for me…he was very protective. I looked up to him. Our father was a devout Catholic and we spent all of our free time in church. We were both altar boys. But our father…he was…difficult."

He sighed and hung his head down as he closed his eyes, "He was abusive. He beat us daily for some insignificant thing…he'd always find a reason. Mother was just…there. She was beaten too and she just gave up. Even when he started on us, she would never stand up for us…she always took his side."

"I was five when I noticed how my big brother was changing. His spirit was slowly being broken. When we would come home from church, he would just…sit in the shower for hours until our mother dragged him out, freezing and shaking. One night I heard my father screaming and I ran out of my room to see him beating Edward with a leather belt until his back was torn open. Edward had just confessed that some members of the clergy had been molesting him. Of course, father didn't believe him. He called him an evil, wicked child."

Slowly, pieces of the puzzle began to come together. And I was having a difficult time because I felt pity and sadness for the child my father once was…but anger and hate for the man he grew up to be. It was like walking a tight rope, swaying easily to both sides but trying your hardest not to fall off in either direction.

He stubbed out his cigarette and quickly lit another. Jasper's hand was on my knee underneath the table, keeping it from shaking.

Tony took a breath and continued, "He was only nine at the time. I didn't understand what they were talking about…until a year later when it began happening to me. I knew better than to say anything and Edward knew it was happening to me now. He tried his best to shield me…take as much of the abuse as he could handle to keep it…easier on me. Raised the way we were…we were socially awkward and never really had any friends, until we met your mother. She began coming to the church when she was nine. Edward was ten. She never came with anyone…she was always alone."

"We all fell into an easy friendship because she was as awkward as we were. We were…the three muskateers. I followed them everywhere they went and they never turned me away, even if I was so much younger than them. We found out that the reason she was always alone was because she lived in a Children's Home and would always sneak away. She lost her parents to a house fire when she was just an infant. She told us of the abuse she endured at the home and we told her of ours. We vowed each other to secrecy and we were there for one another when no one else was."

The waitress brought out our food as we all tried to inconspicuously hide our glistening eyes. It was no surprise when we each pushed our plates to the side and leaned closer to hear the rest.

He wiped his eyes and sniffled, looking completely broken and my heart ached.

"When he was 17, I got sick with pneumonia. He fought against my father so that he could skip church and stay with me for the night. Eventually, father relented and he stayed. Liz showed up shortly after they left. Our parents never returned home that night. They were both robbed and murdered on their way home from church services. And as horrible as it may sound…we were all truly happy for the first time. We were free. It was only natural that Edward and Liz begin dating after that. She ran away from the Children's Home and lived with us."

"Six months later was the first time I saw him hit her. She forgave him, of course. But I watched for the next two years as he just got worse and worse. I would try to step in and we would fight. He was becoming someone I didn't even recognize. Our grandfather was schizophrenic…I should've noticed the signs but I was only thirteen when they began…I just didn't realize. You were born when he was nineteen. They got married while she was pregnant with you. One particular beating caused her to have you prematurely. You were only four pounds when you were born and stayed in the hospital for nearly six months until you could come home."

Jasper groaned and ran his hands over his face. He had a particular hatred for men that hit women. He always said it was because he had seen his mom get beaten so many times.

Tony's eyes were clouded now and I could tell that he was lost in memories. I didn't envy him.

After a moment, he took a sip of his Coke and lit another cigarette. Jasper did the same as we took a minute to steel ourselves for the rest of the story.

He began again a few moments later, "When they brought you home, he had become extremely paranoid. He was so afraid of anything bad happening to you…he wanted to keep you locked away from the outside world…like a prisoner. So, while he worked, I took you outside. Your mother was terrified of him finding out but I didn't care. From the moment I saw you…I just loved you. But when he was home, no one was allowed to touch you or get near you…even breath on you for fear that something might happen to you. As school got harder for me and I focused so intently on a way out…I had less and less time for you. You couldn't walk until you were almost two years old. You could barely speak at all. You were two and a half the first time you said 'No' to him. He back handed you."

Jasper muttered, "Son of a bitch," under his breath and took a drag from his cigarette. Then he looked up and scowled, "Why didn't you do anything?"

Tony's hands were shaking as he spoke, "I tried…I begged Liz to leave him…"

Jasper rolled his eyes as he spat back, "That's fuckin bullshit! You woulda been seventeen years old…you tellin me that you just stood there and didn't do a god damn thing! You know it's wrong to beat a child, right? What the fuck was wrong with you?"

I put my hand on Jasper's arm and took a breath, "Calm down, Jay."

He groaned and crossed his arms across his chest as he sat back in the chair and mumbled to himself, "It's fuckin people like you that make me sick…just fuckin turn the other way when you see a kid…a fuckin _baby _bein abused. Fuckin spineless pussy…"

Tony was shaking now as he started to stand, "He's right…I should go…"

I shook my head, "Please don't! Just…"

Now Jasper stood and glared at him, "Ya gonna fuckin run away from him again, Uncle Tony? I don't think so. Sit your ass back down and answer his fuckin questions."

I stood and grabbed his arm again, "Jay, please calm down."

Tony looked like he was going to throw up as he stammered, "I-I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Jasper smirked as he walked over and threw his arm around his shoulder, "Good. I need to go too. We can have a little chat. Edward, we'll be right back."

I started to protest but he threw me a look that stopped me and said again, "Edward…we'll be right back."

I nodded and sat back down.

My stomach was in knots and my hands were trembling as I waited for their return. I was petrified that Jasper was going to kick his ass and we'd have to leave quickly.

A few minutes later they returned and Tony looked scared but not physically harmed so I let out a breath I had been holding when they sat down.

Jay leaned back and lit another cigarette. Then he looked over at Tony, "Finish the story."

Tony nodded nervously and continued, "Just a few months later, I graduated and went to college in Ohio. After my first semester, I came back to visit. By that point, you wouldn't speak at all. I begged Liz again to leave. I told her that I'd quit school and get a job to take care of both of you. But…she just wouldn't leave. She had some fierce sense of loyalty to my brother but I tried to explain that the man she was married to…was not the same boy we had grown up with. Your father overhead us talking and he was furious. He kicked me out of the house and told me to never contact either of you again. So I left."

Jasper was disgusted, I could tell by the look on his face. I didn't know how to feel.

"After that, I didn't have any family left. I threw myself into school but every few months, I would get a call from your mother. She would tell me that she was ready to leave and then by the end of the conversation, she would change her mind. She called me the very last day. She said she was ready and I made flight arrangements to be there late that night so that I could meet you at the airport and take you both home with me. Of course, by the end of the conversation, she had changed her mind again."

"What? She wasn't really going to leave him that night?" My mind was racing now.

He sighed, "No, Edward…she wasn't going to leave. Your mother was a classic victim of abuse. She would never leave him, no matter what he did. But I couldn't shake the feeling I had so I got on that plane and went. I took a cab to the house and arrived after midnight. I saw that the car was gone and the kitchen door was standing open. I walked in and saw the blood…"

He held his hand over his face now as he took deep breaths. His voice was shaking as he continued, "I called the police and I stayed and waited…time had never passed so slowly. I got the call three days later saying that they had found you. The cops told me that a couple of hunters saw what…what he was doing and…they killed him. They found your mother's body in the trunk. I had to go and identify both my brother and my only friend…my sister."

I shook my head, "Wait a minute…you said it was three days but it was only one…"

He sighed and shook his head, "No, Edward…it was three days. You had gone catatonic and probably only remember the first day. I pulled out of school and stayed at the hospital with you for three months. But when you finally started to come back…just one look at me would send you into a state of panic. I look too much like my brother and it only made it worse for you. So, I signed all of the paperwork necessary for you to become a ward of the state. I had been so selfish…it seemed like cutting you free from our family was the least selfish thing I could do for you at that point. I wanted you to have a chance at a happy life. So, tell me, Edward…are you happy?"

I looked over at Jay as he reached out for my hand, "Yes, I'm very happy. I was adopted by two wonderful people who love me as if I was their own…I have really good friends who stand by me come Hell or high water…I have Jay. I'm very, very happy."

Jay smiled at me and I smiled back.

I turned and looked at my Uncle who had a small smile on his face. He whispered, "I finally did something right. I can tell you, Edward, that not a day goes by that I don't wish I would've done something differently. I wish so much that I would've been stronger for you and your mother. I wish I would've gotten someone else involved. But I can't change the past…I will suffer the consequences of my inactions for the rest of my days."

I sighed as I looked at the broken shell of a man before me. For some reason, I didn't have it in my heart to walk away, as he had done.

I whispered, "Tony? My dad is a doctor. If I spoke with him…maybe we could get you some help? Maybe rehab and therapy?"

He shook his head and a small sad smile was on his face as he whispered, "You can't help me…"

I cut him off, "But maybe we could…it's not too late…"

He stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked into my eyes and whispered, "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, Edward. If I should ever run across you again…I'll turn and walk away because that's the best thing I can do for you. Take care of yourself, son."

He turned and walked away. I started to call out to him when Jay's hand squeezed my shoulder and he whispered, "Just let him walk away, Edward."

He pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the table as I watched the unruly bronze hair turn the corner and disappear.

Jay wrapped his arms around me and just held me for a minute as I processed everything that I heard.

A few minutes later, we were on the highway, heading for Indiana so that Jay could talk with his mom. And even after hearing the whole story…I felt better…somewhat lighter.

Jasper was driving as I smiled over at him, "It wasn't my fault, Jay. She was never going to leave him. I didn't ruin anything. It wasn't my fault."

He smiled back, "It wasn't your fault, Eddie. So now you have no reason to hold onto that guilt or that fear. You can lay your demons to rest now, baby."

I reached over and laced my fingers with his free hand, lying my head back on the head rest. After a few minutes, I felt my eyes getting sleepy. It had already been an emotional day and it was only half over. We still had Jay's mother to deal with. I just hoped that he would walk away from this unscathed. I hoped he got the answers he needed. I hoped that she didn't fuck this up and he could finally get a little peace.

I felt his fingers brush through my hair and the last thing I remembered was his soft voice, "Get some rest, baby. Sweet dreams, darlin."

And for the first time in a long time, my dreams _were _sweet.


	35. Chapter 35

**I have to write a little something and tell you guys how psyched I am! Over 3k reviews! Are you freakin kiddin me? I know I don't reply and I'm sorry for that, I don't get much time to write and I figured ya'll would rather have me workin on the next chapter. But I had to say thank you and let you know how much it means to me when I read your reviews. So, thanks. You guys rock…and shit.**

**Playlist: (On my you tube, as always, in the playlists) Dan Auerbach (from The Black Keys) - Whispered Words (Pretty Lies), The Black Keys - Things Ain't Like They Used To Be.**

**Jay's POV**

I ran my fingers through my beautiful boy's hair until I heard his soft snores. I sighed and pulled out a cigarette as we flew down the highway. I hated lying to Edward and I knew that he hated me keeping things from him to protect him, but this time, I felt like I really had no other choice if he was ever gonna get any peace.

_I quickly shut and locked the bathroom door behind myself as I followed Tony inside. He gulped as he backed up and I closed the distance between us as I had him pinned against the wall._

_He stammered, "W-who the h-hell __**are **__you?"_

_I looked into his eyes and sneered, "As far as you're concerned, I'm the judge, jury, and the fuckin executioner. What __**should **__matter to you right now, is that I will protect that fuckin boy with my life. Ya think that I didn't know you were gonna run again? I'm tryin my best to be fuckin patient with you, Tony, but patience is a god damn virtue I don't have. I wanna know what happened that night. He said she was plannin on leavin and since you were the only other person she knew, it only makes sense that she called you. Did she?"_

_His eyes were wide and his whole body was shaking as he began sobbing, "She did. She called every few months saying that she wanted to leave but she would always back out of it. But she didn't this time. She was ready to leave him. She called me the week before but…I…I didn't have the m-money to buy the plane tickets until the week I got paid. It's my fault…if I would've done something to help her leave when she asked, she would still be here. He wouldn't have lost his mother…I wouldn't have lost my friend or my brother. I don't know what happened to push him off the edge that night but I was on a plane back here when it happened. It's all my fault."_

_I'm not a __**complete **__asshole so part of me felt a little bad for the guy, but that didn't change the fact that this bastard sat by and did nothing while Edward was being abused. And that fact led to the night that haunted my baby boy all of his fuckin life. So forgive me if I was a little spiteful. He was a fuckin spineless pussy in my book and that wasn't gonna change._

"_Ya wanna know what happened that night? Let me tell you cuz I know the whole fuckin story by heart, Edward still has nightmares almost every fuckin night and ya know what happens? He ends up sittin in the god damn shower for hours until he calms down. So, let me share what happened to your fuckin nephew. He knew his mama was plannin on leavin that night. She had a suitcase hidden under the sink. Edward accidentaly broke a glass at the dinner table and was too scared to get the bleach from underneath the counter to clean it up. When your brother got it…he saw the suitcase."_

"_So, he took a kitchen knife and gutted Lizzie right in front of him."_

_He ran into the stall and started throwing up. I continued, "Wait, I ain't done yet, Uncle Tony. Then your brother forced the knife into Edward's hand and made __**him **__'release his mama's demons.' Yeah, that's right, your fuckin nutcase brother was arguing with demons in front of Edward and made __**your nephew **__deliver the cuts that ended his mama's life. Once she was dead, he made Edward clean it up with bleach. And then, __**then **__he threw him in the god damn trunk of his car along with his mama's dead body. But that ain't all, you fuckin prick, then he beat the shit out of him before telling him how much he loved him while he molested and raped him over and over again. Ya think __**your **__story is fucked up? Edward deals with this fuckin shit every god damn day of his life and he ain't a fuckin junkie like you. He fuckin fights through it. He's the strongest person I've ever fuckin known and right now, you got the power to really fuckin help him and by damn, that's what you're gonna fuckin do."_

_He pulled his head outta the toilet and sat against the stall. He was still shaking and was a fuckin mess. He sniffled, "I'll tell him the truth…it was my fault…"_

_I shook my head and crouched down, "What is it with you fuckin, Masen's? It wasn't your fault and it wasn't Edward's fault. You didn't abuse your brother, you didn't make Liz take it, you didn't make him schizophrenic, you didn't do any of it…but you __**did **__sit by and knowingly let your nephew be abused. Everythin else __**ain't **__your fault. And I don't think telling Eddie the truth is gonna help him cuz he'll still feel like if he didn't break that glass then things would be different."_

_He pulled his knees up to his chin and buried his face, "What should I do? Tell me what to say and I'll say it."_

_I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, "I want you to lie. I want you to tell him that his mama had no intention of leavin…that she backed out of it again like always."_

_His voice broke as he sobbed into his knees, "I hate lying to him…"_

_I put my hand on his shoulder, "Edward's finally startin to move on with his life…he's been in and out of psychiatric hospitals, he's cut himself, he's been havin visions of demons like his daddy…the one thing that this all comes from is his guilt and fear that, in some way, this shit was his fault. If you love him…you'll lie to him so that he can lay his demons to rest. I suggest you try to do the same. It wasn't your fault."_

_He sniffled and shook his head, "It __**is**__ my fault, nothing will change that. I'll lie to Edward if you think it will help him…I just don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have. But I…I…"_

_He was shaking uncontrollably now as he began looking around and scratching at his arm. I stood up and shut the bathroom stall cuz I knew he needed his fix to get through this, without it, he would be a shaking, sniveling mess, "Go ahead, Tony…"_

_He cried as he shot himself up and I waited with my back against the bathroom stall door._

_When he was done, he opened the door and walked to the sink to splash some water on his face. When he turned around I pulled out my wallet and handed him a couple hundred bucks._

_He looked shocked as he whispered, "Why?"_

_I shrugged, "You need help, Tony."_

_His fingers glided over the money, "But…you know I'll just shoot it up…"_

_I sighed, "Yeah, probably…but I can't say that if I had to walk in your shoes, I wouldn't do the same. Just take it, I don't need it and if what you're about to do can help Edward like how I think it's gonna help him, then you deserve a little peace…even if it's only knowin where your next fix comes from."_

_He furrowed his brows as he took the money and shoved it into his pocket._

_As he started to open up the door, I pushed it shut and leaned against it, "Just one more thing, Tony…I'm a nice guy and all…but if you fuck this up…__**I will fuck you up**__…got it?"_

_He gulped and nodded vehemently before I opened the door, smiling._

So, yeah, I had Tony lie to Edward. And from the way he had kept saying that it 'wasn't his fault' over and over again, I think I did the right thing. I wish he could see the truth himself without the lie…but he just ain't there yet. So, this was just one of those little things that I would take to my grave, and I didn't feel an ounce of shame for it cuz the truth is…sometimes it's better to believe the lie.

Which led me back to my current situation, on my way to see my mama. I didn't even have a clue if I'd be able to see her…if she even put me on the list. The last words she spoke to me resonated in my head and made my stomach twist in knots, cuz now, they had so much more meaning behind them.

_"Because she loved you and I wanted to hurt her! I figured I'd give you back once I taught her a lesson but the old cunt died and I was stuck with you! Why do you think I never gave a shit about what happened to you? You are just a reminder of everything that's fucked up in my life and I'm glad you fucking hurt you little bastard! I wish one of those fucking pussies I was with just finished you off and then I'd be done with you forever and finally get my fucking life back!"_

Sometimes the things we say, can't be undone. I had no idea what I was lookin for…what I wanted or even expected from visitin mama…I didn't know if I should tell her bout Bobbie Sue or just ask her for the truth myself and see if she lied to me. I had no idea if she would be even remotely happy to see me…or if just one look at me would piss her off. I didn't know how I would react either. I was walkin into this thing totally blind and I wouldn't even have my baby boy there as my safety net. I was gonna have to do this alone…and that thought scared the hell outta me cuz, other than Edward, mama was the only person in this whole fuckin world who had the power to break me.

I wasn't sure why I let her have so much power over me, but if I fuckin knew how to stop that shit, I sure as fuck would.

But as it was, I just had to have fuckin faith and hope for the best. Faith was a foreign concept to me but I remembered Eddie once told me what it meant…

_He walked me to my English class where I had a huge test that he had helped me study for. I wasn't feeling at all confident about it but I wanted to do good so that I could get good enough grades to be in his advanced classes the next year._

_I whispered as I stood in the doorway, "I'm gonna fuckin bomb this shit…I can feel it."_

_He smiled and whispered, "Have faith, Jay."_

_I rolled my eyes and muttered, "What the fuck does that even mean, Edward?"_

_He leaned in and whispered, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."_

_I smirked, "Bible verse?"_

_He laughed and nodded, "Yes. It just means to believe in the things you hope for but cannot visibly see…such as, your knowledge of the English language. You've studied hard so hope for the best and leave the rest to faith."_

_I laughed and rolled my eyes again, "Okay, Eddie…cuz we all know how good I talk and shit."_

_He smirked now and whispered, "Good luck, Jay. You'll do fine, __**I**__ can feel it. I have faith in you."_

_I smiled now and let out a breath, "Thanks, Edward."_

_He winked and turned to leave. I got a 97% on that test._

So what could I have faith in?

I could have faith that me and mama could talk like fuckin grown ups…_maybe not._

I could have faith that she would at least tell me the truth…_yeah right._

I could have faith I would leave this place better than I am now…_not so sure bout that._

_Fuck_…okay, I can have faith that no matter how badly this turns out…no matter if I come out cryin like a fuckin baby or screamin like a god damn mad man…I could have faith that Edward would help me through it and love me anyway…_yup, I can have faith in that._

That made me feel a little better as I continued my drive. Then my mind began to wander to my conversation with Big Daddy C.

"_Hey son, are you nervous about today?"_

"_Yeah, Carlisle…I'm a fu…freakin mess."_

_He chuckled a little and assured me, "You'll be fine, Jasper. I have faith in you."_

_Now I see where Edward gets it from._

_I scratched my head through my curls as I sighed, "Glad you do cuz I'm not feelin so confident…"_

_He sighed, "Son? You know about my situation with my mother. She was…horrible. And when she died we weren't on speaking terms. I have since made my peace with it…but I think that's the most difficult thing we can do in our lives…forgive someone who we feel has wronged us. But without forgiveness, we can find no peace. I'm not saying you have to forgive your mother today…or next week…or even five years from now…but one day, you are going to need to forgive her to finally have peace with your childhood and move on. Forgiving doesn't require forgetting, son. Gandhi said, 'The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.' Just think about it, okay?"_

_I sighed and ran my hands along my face, "Yeah, I'll think about it, Carlisle."_

"_Good. Now what time do you think you should get there?"_

_I looked over at the clock and ran through it in my head, "Um…probably about 2 or 3."_

"_Okay then, I'll go so you can get ready to leave. Be safe and call me as soon as you can. And if Edward starts getting bad at the cemetery, call me or Doc Greene right away."_

_I smiled at his concern, "I will. Thanks, Carlisle. And um…I love you."_

"_I love you too, son."_

Besides Edward, he was the only man I had ever said 'I love you' too. Fuckin perfect Cullen men…how I loved them fuckers.

I chuckled a little bit to myself as I passed the Illinois border into Indiana.

And as I drove, my mind wandered back to when I was seven years old…

_We still lived in Texas at the time, just bounced around from town to town. I was walkin home from school, tryin to hold back the tears that threatened to break through. I hated school. Everybody made fun of me cuz we was dirt fuckin poor and mama had bought my clothes from yard sales and the Goodwill. I had outgrown all my nice clothes that granny had gotten me._

_I was walkin along, kickin at the pebbles on the ground when I heard, "Look, it's that little faggot, Jasper!"_

_My head shot up to see a couple of kids from my school standin in front of me. They were bigger than me and a little older but I held my head up and acted like I wasn't afraid…but it was an act cuz I was scared as shit._

"_Hey, pussy boy! I heard your mama was a two dollar whore down at the strip club. I think my uncle said that's what he paid for the sloppy ass blow job he got from her the other night."_

_My fists tightened as I dropped my book bag, "Don't talk about my mama like that! She ain't no whore…she's a waitress…"_

_They started laughin, "Is that what she calls it? I hear she's servin all the men real good…"_

_I couldn't help myself as I jumped forward and tried to hit the bastard in the nose. But I didn't know how to fight so he easily blocked. Before I knew it, I was on the ground getting the shit kicked outta me._

_I just curled up and tried to protect my face as best I could until they were done. Finally, they ran off and I laid there for a few minutes. My body hurt like hell. My lip and nose were bleeding, my eye was swelling, and my stomach and back ached so bad that I wanted to cry._

_But I pulled myself up, dusted off the dirt and waited till I got home to cry…I'd be damned if I let them bastards see me do it._

_When I walked in the house, mama was lyin on the couch, half dazed. She furrowed her brows when she seen me, "God damn it, son! Again?"_

_I sniffled as the tears started fallin now. I whispered, "I wanna go home, mama…I hate it here…"_

_She jumped off the couch and grabbed the half empty bottle on the table. She took a swig and scowled at me, "Quit bein a god damn pussy, Jasper! Ya know what? Real life ain't easy and it ain't fair! Ya better start learnin that now cuz it ain't gonna get no better! I'm sick of seein you comin home all beaten up and shit! Do ya even try to defend yourself or do ya like bein the neighborhood punchin bag?"_

_I shook my head and wiped my eyes off with the back of my hand, "I do try, mama…"_

_She rolled her eyes and huffed, "Can't believe I have a god damn pussy for a son…"_

_Just then her boyfriend of the week walked in the room and started laughin, "Jesus Christ, Jasper! Are you a little queer boy or what? Every fuckin week you're getting the shit kicked out of you!"_

_He came up and smacked me in the back of the head. I winced and tried to keep more tears from fallin, "I ain't a fuckin pussy! I ain't a god damn queer! I was tryin to defend you, mama, cuz all the boys were callin you a two bit whore…"_

_And then the smack came hard across my cheek. I think it was him that smacked me but it happened so fast I couldn't be sure. My head turned and my eyes stung with fresh hot tears._

"_Don't you ever let me hear you call her that!"_

_I wasn't callin her that…obviously they misunderstood me or were so fucked up that they only heard part of what I said._

"_Get to your god damn room, Jasper! No fuckin supper tonight! Go straight to bed!"_

_I started to protest, "But I got homework…"_

_Mama started laughin, "Ain't no amount of homework gonna make you any smarter, son. Now get to your fuckin room!"_

_I grabbed my backpack and drug it off to my room. I closed my door and curled up on my mattress. I cried myself to sleep. _

_I was awoken by mama in the middle of the night, "C'mon, baby boy…we're leavin."_

_I groaned as I pulled myself up. I saw her empty out my backpack and start shoving my clothes in it. _

_I rubbed my eyes, "Where we goin, mama?"_

_She turned to me and I could see the bruises on her face reflecting off the moonlight pourin in from the window, "I ain't sure yet, baby…we're just gonna get in the car and see where we end up. It'll be an adventure…fun, I promise. The next place is gonna be better than this shit hole town, baby boy."_

_I pulled on my shoes and followed her out to the car. I curled up in the front seat and she laid her jacket across me. It smelled like whiskey and cigarettes, but it comforted me. She ran her hand through my curls and sang softly as we took off down the highway. And I was hopeful that she was telling the truth and the next place we ended up would be better. _

_Of course, I soon found out that mama lied a lot._

I ran my hand along my face and groaned as we neared the prison. We were only about half an hour out now so I pulled out another cigarette and smoked like a freight train until we got there.

I pulled into the lot and turned off the car. I was nervous as hell but was fuckin anxious to get this shit over with. I ran my fingers through Edward's soft bronze hair and spoke quietly, "Hey babe? We're here, sugar. Wake up."

He sighed as the corner of his mouth turned up into a crooked grin and he reached down and started rubbing himself through his jeans, "Hmm, Jay…let's fuck, baby…"

I couldn't help the laughter that I tried to hide from breaking through, "Um, babe? We're in the parking lot at the women's prison. Now I think some of them might like that but I'm pretty sure they frown on that sorta thing…though, I could be wrong…"

His eyes flashed open and he jumped up, looking around all sleepy and dazed and tenting his jeans…my boyfriend fuckin rocked.

"Shit, Jay! I can't believe I fell asleep! I'm so sorry! How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

He was throwin questions at me a mile per minute and I just chuckled as I reached over and put my hand on his shoulder, "Calm down, babe. Breathe."

He sucked in a big breath and let it out. His shoulders slumped and he reached up and laced his fingers with mine, "I'm sorry, Jay."

I just smiled, "Don't be, darlin…I think I needed that before I went in here. You can always make me laugh."

He just smirked, "So glad I amuse you."

I laughed again, "You really do, Eddie."

He smiled and began rubbing his velvet fingers across the back of my hand, "Seriously, Jay…are you okay?"

I smiled and sighed, "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm nervous and shit but I'm ready to get this over with."

He nodded, "Yeah. Wish I could go in with you. I hate that you're going to be alone for this."

I nodded now, "Yeah, me too…but I'll be alright, darlin."

He smiled brightly, "If it gets bad, just remember that by tomorrow night, we'll be in Michigan…all alone…for the rest of the summer."

That thought did make me smile, "I can't wait. After all this shit we've done these last few days, I'm in desperate need of some relaxation with my beautiful boy."

His cheeks turned pink which only made me smile harder.

I leaned over and kissed his cherry lips softly as I whispered, "If I ain't out in an hour…I got plenty of bail money in the trunk."

He chuckled against my lips as he kissed me back.

I left Jeremiah's ID with him cuz I figured I'd have to show mine and I didn't wanna accidentaly get caught with it.

I took a deep breath as I walked up to the window and cleared my throat, "Um…I'm here to see my mama."

The woman on the other side of the glass sent through a clipboard, "Write her name and DOC number here. Place your ID in the basket and send it back."

I quickly did what she told me and she sighed as she looked at my ID, "I'm sorry, sir. You're a minor and you must have a parent or guardian with you when visiting an inmate."

I groaned…

_You gotta be fuckin kiddin me…_

Another woman walked up and looked at my ID before speaking with the woman who held it.

For a minute my heart was racing cuz me and prisons…weren't a good combo in my opinion.

Then the woman smiled, "Oh, I'm sorry, young man. Your doctor is here waiting for you. I didn't realize you were the one he was waiting for. Here's your ID…come on through the metal detector."

_Doctor? What the fuck? Is Carlisle here?_

My mind was really going wild now as I took my ID and walked through the metal detector. Then they patted me down and told me to have a seat.

I sat there in the hard plastic chair, anxious as hell and wonderin what the hell was going on.

A minute later, I got my answer.

"Ah, Mr. Whitlock. I'm so glad you finally made it. I've been waiting for almost an hour."

I stood up and took his hand in mine with a firm shake as my mind tried to catch up, "Um…Dr. Greene? Why…what…"

He smiled, "Come on, visiting hours will be over soon and you only have an hour."

I nodded and fell in step beside him. I whispered, "Doc? What the hell are you doing here?"

He chuckled softly and whispered back, "They wouldn't let you in without a parent, guardian…or doctor present. You are my patient and I have legal rights to do this…well, not exactly legal…I may or may not have forged some documents but that's neither here nor there…just act natural…"

Now I chuckled softly and whispered, "Okay, Doc…but I want answers when we leave."

He rolled his eyes and nudged me in my ribs, "Pushy, pushy…"

I really liked the Doc and I was really grateful he was there. He was different than any other doctor I had ever known…well, he did kinda remind me of Carlisle cuz he had an awesome sense of humor. Edward had told me about how much he had helped him when he was in the hospital. And I liked the Doc cuz he always answered my questions, personal or not he never backed away…he didn't hide shit from me.

The fucker was cool as shit.

He led me into a big room filled with tables. I followed him over to one and sat down next to him. There were people sitting at the other tables, awaiting their family as well.

Doc turned and smiled, "Do you want something to drink from the vending machine?"

My knee was bobbing up and down at a spastic pace and my folded hands on the table were sweating. I nodded, "Um, yeah…coffee, black…"

He raised an eyebrow as his hand came to my knee and stopped it from bouncing, "You sure coffee is a good idea right now?"

I smiled sheepishly and nodded, "Yeah…believe it or not it helps calm me down."

He nodded and rose, "Okey dokey, son."

A minute later he sat back down with two cups of coffee. He cleared his throat and sighed, "There's something I need to tell you, Jasper…please keep an open mind."

I furrowed my brows as I took a sip of the coffee and mumbled, "What's up, Doc?"

He now played with his coffee cup and whispered, "I thought you should know that I've been seeing your mother…"

My eyes went wide as I said a little too loudly, "What the fuck! I thought you were gay! You're married for Christ's sake!"

He rolled his eyes, "Good Lord, son…I meant I've been seeing her as a patient."

I could feel my cheeks burning as people turned and looked at us. I ducked my head and whispered, "What the hell do you mean?"

He sighed, "Well, after you were gone and Carlisle couldn't reach you, he began trying to find out where you were. He wrote to your mother to see if she might know an address. She wrote him back and I guess they had sort of a heart-to-heart about everything that happened. Anyway, she didn't know the address but she begged Carlisle for help. So, he spoke with me because I often work with people in correctional facilities and mental health facilities. I began seeing her last month. I fly out here twice a month and we have phone conversations every week."

"Why didn't you or Carlisle tell me?"

He whispered, "We spoke about it and decided we should tell you face to face…but then you told him you were coming here to visit her and so I flew down here. I knew you wouldn't be able to get in without me and I wanted to have the opportunity to tell you. I hope you're not too upset."

I shook my head feeling completely dazed and confused, "Um, no…I'm not mad…just…this is just weird, I guess."

He nodded, "When we're done here, I'd like to take you and Edward out for dinner…have a talk about everything that's happened these past few days to see where your heads are at. I can explain everything in further detail then, if you like."

I nodded, "Yeah, that'd be good."

I turned my attention back now as the room started filling in with women in orange jumpsuits. I saw mama walking slowly towards the table, eyes on the floor and clasping her hands together in front of her.

Slowly she approached and when she finally raised her eyes to mine…I was mesmerized.

Her blue eyes were bright and wide, completely clear and glossy…no clouded over haze or redness. She wore no make up and although the rough life she had was evident on her face in the form of soft wrinkles around her eyes…I had never seen her look more beautiful.

She twisted the ends of her long golden locks around her finger as she eyed me nervously. I noticed that without the dolled up hair, trashy clothes, and caked on make up…mama looked very much like a frightened young girl.

I was unable to move or speak.

Finally, the Doc stood and held out his hand, "Good to see you again, Linda. You're looking lovely as ever."

She blushed as she took his hand and gazed at the floor again as she spoke humbly, "Thanks Doc…but I know I look a right mess…"

I shook my head and found my voice, "No, mama…you look…beautiful."

Her eyes shot up and found mine. She released the Doc's hand and just stared at me for a moment. I watched as her eyes got wetter and glossier, only adding to the brilliant crystal blue.

She let out a sob and just threw herself into my arms. This was the first time I had ever seen my mama cry. And for the first time in my life, I felt like the powerful one. I towered above her now and she seemed so small and fragile in my arms…much different than the hard ass bitch I knew.

She clutched onto me tight as she gasped through ragged sobs, "I'm so sorry, son…I didn't mean none of them horrible things I said…I was so wrong…so messed up…I was a monster…you didn't deserve any of it…please forgive me, baby boy…please tell me you still love me…please…you're all I got…please forgive me…"

I wasn't sure what to do. I hated that I loved her. I hated that I ached to forgive her. But I just couldn't do it. Too much had been done…said…I couldn't let that shit go so easy. The cold hard truth was that I didn't trust her.

A guard walked by and tapped her shoulder, "Enough, have a seat."

She pulled away reluctantly and nodded as she wiped at her eyes. I looked at the Doc confused and he handed her a tissue, "You're only allowed to touch at the beginning and end of the visit, other than holding hands."

I nodded and sat down across from her. Her hands were on the table, twisting the tissue to pieces and shaking. I sighed as I reached my hand out and laid it palm up on the table. Slowly, both of her hands crept across and gripped onto it.

She smiled as she sniffled, "Thank you, son."

I just nodded, still unsure of what the hell I was doing.

The silence was deafening and uncomfortable…the sounds of the room fading into nothingness but the silent figures at this table.

The Doc cleared his throat, "Jasper, if you would like some privacy, I can go and wait in one of the chairs by the wall."

I shook my head and whispered, "Please don't leave."

He nodded and whispered, "She asked you for forgiveness…this is your chance, son…whatever you want to say, say it now."

I took a moment and steeled myself so that I didn't break down. Finally, mustering up enough courage, I raised my eyes to hers and just began talking, "Mama…my whole life you've been mean to me. You've never acted like you loved me, hell, you never even acted like you liked me. You let every man you were with hurt me. You never protected me…never comforted me…you relished every bit of pain I suffered. You called me names…shattered every bit of confidence I had. When you took me away…I wasn't like I am now. I wasn't mean…I wasn't distrustful of every fuckin thing around me…I was a happy kid. You single handedly…destroyed me."

She was sobbing again but I couldn't stop myself from continuing, "You just didn't care about what happened to me. You're the first person I ever did drugs with. You knew all the stuff your boyfriends were teachin me…how to rob, steal, sell drugs…it's like you wanted me to be fucked up. Well, mama, you succeeded cuz I am…I'm all fucked up. But I'm tryin real fuckin hard to put myself back together…do you remember what you told me when I got locked up for six months in Boys School?"

She shook her head through wracking sobs.

I let go of her hand now as my anger started coming forefront, pushin everything else back down.

"I was only twelve years old and I was fuckin scared, mama. When I cried, you called me a pussy. When I asked if you was gonna come visit me…you told me to be a man and fuckin deal with it. So, I gotta ask, mama…why the hell should I sit here and listen to anything you gotta say? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just walk out that door and never fuckin look back?"

She looked down at the table, focusing on her clasped hands. After a moment of silence she lifted her head and looked into my eyes, "There ain't no good reason, son. Truth is…you _should _just walk away. You deserve better than anything I can give ya. I know that the damage I've done to you…can't ever be undone. So, go ahead, baby boy…walk away…try to make your life better…try and find some happiness. I'm sorry for everythin and I promise I won't try and contact you…I'll let you go."

She pushed away from the table and my anger boiled over as the tears started falling from my eyes now, "God damn it, mama! Won't you fuckin fight for me? Just once in your god damn life…_please_, fuckin fight for me! Why the fuck is it so easy for you to just walk away from me all the god damn time? Ain't you ever loved me?"

That familiar scowl came across her face as her eyes narrowed and she leaned over the table towards me, whispering harshly, "You think that was easy for me? You have no fuckin clue the hell I've went through for you…and you ain't ever had a nice thing to say to me! That bitch stole you from me! When you was a baby, you looked at me like I was the most beautiful, important thing in the whole world! When she was done with you, you couldn't look at me with anything but hate! The very first time I heard you talk, you told me you hated me! Do you h-have…any idea…"

I watched as her hands went to cover her face now and she sobbed relentlessly once again, "Do you have any idea…how bad it hurts…to love somebody so much…and have them just hate you?"

The guard walked over, "Sit back down and keep it quiet or the visit's over."

She dropped to her chair, still sobbing and I nodded, "Yeah, we'll keep it down."

Once he turned and walked away, the Doc spoke, "Both of you need to keep your emotions in check if you wish for this to continue."

We both wiped away at our eyes and put on our tough exterior. I finally realized that mama was good at acting too cuz in a matter of minutes, the broken little girl was replaced with a strong, feral woman.

I decided that I didn't wanna tell mama I knew what happened…I wanted to see if she'd tell me the truth.

"Mama? What are you talkin about?"

She huffed and crossed her arms, "You don't know anything, son. You don't know that the first time I left, it wasn't cuz I upped and walked away. Your precious granny…she threw me out. I didn't wanna leave you. You was all I had. I didn't walk away…I was forced."

I sighed and leaned onto the table with my elbows, "You're right, mama. I don't know nothin but what you tell me. So, tell me everythin."

She laughed humorlessly and muttered, "I only got an hour, son…ain't enough time for everythin."

Then she huffed and mimicked my position, leaning onto the table and staring directly into my eyes, "I'm gonna keep this short, Jasper cuz I don't got much time left with you."

I nodded and she took a breath, "I had a baby brother…you were named after him. I loved that boy so much and he loved me…followed me everywhere. But he was mama and daddy's pride and joy. Anyway, there was an accident and he passed away. They blamed me for it. Not a day went by that they didn't make sure I was punished severely cuz of it. Shortly after I got pregnant with you, daddy died. Me and your daddy was married right 'fore you was born and he had to leave for the Marines…he didn't wanna leave us but he didn't have much choice at the time. You and me had no choice but to stay at home with mama."

I was surprised that she was telling me the truth so far…it was a watered down version but I understood why she left out the details she did.

She continued on but the strength in her voice was fading, "Mama was crazy jealous of me and you. You was my baby boy…I carried you 'round all the time. You cried whenever anyone else would come near you. And I loved that you loved me so good. The way you looked at me…just made me feel…like it didn't matter what no one else thought of me…as long as you loved me, I was happy. You'd fall asleep every night with your little head on my chest, listenin to my heart and I would play with your little honey curls and sing to ya. I never really knew what lovin somebody was till I held you in my arms…I never really understood what it felt like to be loved back until you looked at me. We was perfect, me and you."

Her voice was soft now and her eyes still glistened with a far away look in them. She wiped away the wetness underneath and took a breath, "Me and mama used to fight all the time cuz she said I was spoilin you…coddlin ya too much. I'd tell her that ya can't love a baby _too _much. Like I said, she was just jealous. So, during one of our fights, she told me to get out. And so I grabbed what little I had and grabbed you…but she snatched you from my arms and said you wasn't goin nowhere. That she was gonna raise you. That I owed her since I got her baby killed. I tried to get ya back but she wouldn't let go. You let out a scream and I knew we was hurtin you…"

She looked down at her lap now and her folded up hands as she whispered, "When I was a little girl, I remembered a story from church bout two women fightin over a child. They was both tuggin at him, clamin to be his mama…but in the end, his real mama let go cuz she couldn't bear the thought of hurtin her baby…so that's what I did, I let go. I wanted to take you with me so bad…but I knew I couldn't take care of you. I was only fifteen, no schoolin, no money…I couldn't even buy your diapers. So, I left. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I regret it every day of my life."

I reached out my hand again and whispered, "I didn't know, mama…"

She nodded and forced a tight smile as she placed her hand in mine, "I know, son."

I was curious now about what happened after that so I asked.

She took another breath and kept her eyes focused on our hands, "When I left, I had nothing. A friend of mine let me stay with her but she had to sneak me in cuz her mama thought I was no good. Without you…I was so empty…hollow. I woulda done anything to just not ache the way I was. I met this boy and he introduced me to coke. It sorta helped to make me…not ache so bad anymore. He put me up in his apartment and got me a job as a waitress. It didn't take long until I couldn't get through a day without getting high…it just hurt too much. He was older than me and I remember how he used to hit me all the time. So, I just figured that's what men did, y'know…when ya got outta line, they hit you. That's what I had grown up with so it was natural to me."

My brows furrowed cuz that's one thing that pissed me the fuck off…I hated when pussy ass men felt like they could put their hands on a woman.

"Mama, you know that's not true, right? I would never dream of hittin a girl no matter what she did to me."

She nodded sheepishly, "I'm figurin it out, son. Ya gotta remember I was only fifteen…younger than you are now. I was just a kid myself. So, anyway, time went on and I ended up getting kicked out of his place but I soon found another guy to take me in. That's how it went for awhile. Time just got away from me…being high will make you lose years fast. So, I turned 18. I was old enough to become a dancer now…that's what the man I was with told me I should do cuz I could make enough money to take care of you. So, I did. Problem was that I was also a junkie with a big habit that soaked up most my money. I went to mama and begged her for help. You was hidin behind her legs when you seen me. I tried to get ya to come to me…give me a hug…but you looked at me with so much anger and said that you hated me…I weren't no good and to leave you alone. Mama wouldn't help me and I was crushed so I left again."

I squeezed her hand and whispered, "I'm sorry, mama."

She just shook her head, "Don't be…wasn't your fault, baby…she brain washed you. Anyway, I continued doin what I was doin but then I found out your daddy was comin home. He had written a letter that a friend of mine had gotten so she tracked me down and made sure I got it. He said he was gonna come home and help me get clean, he knew what I had been doin but he wanted me anyway. He said he was gonna get us a place to live and we could be a real family. That's what I had always wanted but when the time came…I was…scared. All my life, people had told me that I was no good and I believed them. I wasn't no good. I was hooked bad on coke and drinkin…the thought of bein clean scared the shit out of me. The thought of bein with your daddy, who was way too good for me, scared me. And the thought of you hatin me…terrified me."

"So, I ran again. When I finally came and got you that night…I was so bad on drugs that I barely even remember doin it. I'll admit that I did wanna hurt my mama. I wanted her to suffer for what she had put me through. I wanted her to agonize for you the way I had. But, deep down, I just wanted my baby boy back. But I was too fucked up to treat you good and you just didn't love me anymore. Most of the shit that I let happen, or I said to you was cuz I was so fucked up all the time and so angry at everything. I couldn't believe that mama had turned you against me and it killed me. But it wasn't your fault and I took it out on you anyway. And when you started getting beat up all the time, it scared the shit outta me cuz you was such a sweet boy…I was scared that this world was gonna chew you up and spit you out. Life ain't easy and life ain't fair, son…I just wanted you to be tougher than I was so it wouldn't hurt you the way it did me. Fucked up logic, I know, but like I said, I was so messed up and I never really grew up at all."

Mama had told me the truth…I'll be damned. I was a little shocked.

"Mama, I really…I don't know what to say…I know it wasn't my fault that granny had taught me to call you those names and to treat you so bad, but I'm sorry anyway. Maybe if I would've treated you better…"

She cut me off, "No, don't you dare take any of the blame on your shoulders, son. You was a baby…ain't none of this your fault. I should've been workin hard to change how you felt about me and prove mama wrong but instead I let my anger get the best of me. I was hideous…I'm so ashamed for all them things I said to you. I'm ashamed for letting those worthless bastards hurt you. I'm ashamed for never bein strong enough to be the mama you needed. I know you don't even really need a mama no more, you're practically a grown man…but if you'd let me…I'd really like to try harder…I'll do better this time, I swear."

I nodded, "Yeah, mama…maybe we can try and work some things out. Maybe when I get settled at the end of the summer, we can write each other. Maybe I'll get a phone and we could talk every now and then. Maybe…"

She nodded and wiped at her eyes with a soft smile, "Maybe's more than I deserve, so I'll take it."

I smiled back and just held her hand for a minute.

She squeezed my hand and sighed, "So, I s'pose a normal mama would ask how you're doin? O'course, she probably wouldn't be wearin an orange jumpsuit when she did it, but we Whitlock's ain't ever been 100% normal."

I chuckled a little, "That's the truth, mama. I'm doin…good, actually. I'm spending the summer with Edward."

She raised an eyebrow with a mischievous smirk, "Edward, huh? You guys still together?"

I furrowed my brows and looked at the Doc, "You told her bout me and Eddie?"

He shook his head, "Of course not…"

Mama started laughing, "Please, son…the Doc ain't told me nothin and neither did Carlisle. I've known you were in love with that boy since you was 13."

Now I was really shocked, "What? How did…"

She smiled, "Honey, I've known you were gay since you was ten years old. Or I knew you liked boys too at least. I paid more attention than you think. You was always different with boys. You was always real protective when you made a friend…especially with the little geeky boys. I remember your teacher telling me once that the boys who was picked on and bullied loved you cuz you bullied their bullies. You've just always had that protective nature about you. And when you brought Edward home…and he bout cussed me out over you…I remember the way you was lookin at him. You looked at him like you used to look at me…your eyes were just filled with love and respect and happiness. I knew it then…I guess that's why I was so jealous of him and tried to break you away from his family. I'm glad you didn't listen to me…they're real good people and Edward's a good boy. You deserve someone who treats you right."

My mind was racing. Mama knew I was gay…and she didn't seem to care.

I leaned over and whispered, "So, you don't care that I'm…y'know…gay?"

She smiled and whispered, "I don't care what you are, baby boy…I love you and that ain't ever gonna change. I'm just so sorry I couldn't be there for you when you was figurin it out…I coulda helped you. I knew you was havin a hard time, I could see it in your eyes…but I was so fucked up and mad as hell all the time that I couldn't do nothing but make things worse for you. I'm really sorry, sugar."

I nodded, still kinda taken aback, "Yeah, mama…thanks."

She rolled her eyes and laughed, "So? Ya gonna tell bout him or not? I never gotta know him very much…what's he like?"

I couldn't help the wide dimpled grin that came to my face now or the slight blush that tinged my cheeks, "He's wonderful, mama. He's always so good to me. He knows what I'm thinkin without me havin to say a word and he always helps me when I'm losin it…he's perfect. And he's…he's…"

I felt all the air leave my chest and my cheeks were on fire as I breathed out, "he's so _fuckin _beautiful. I don't deserve him…"

She narrowed her eyes and leaned across the table, "Hey! You're beautiful too, baby. And learn from me, baby boy…don't waste no time thinkin that you don't deserve him or that he's too good for ya just cuz he comes from money. That's bullshit. I bet he feels the same way bout you. I bet you protect him and fight for him…I bet you're his whole world. If he's any bit as smart as his daddy, he knows that there ain't no better man in the world than you."

I smiled, "Yeah? Maybe you're right."

She smiled and then started chewing her lip, "So, um…how's your daddy doin? Carlisle told me bout what happened."

I shrugged, "He's pretty much the same. Drinks all the time, we fight all the time…he's on the road a lot though so I was grateful for that."

She sighed as she frowned, "I hate that he's fallen apart so bad. Your daddy…he used to be such a good guy. Reminded me a lot of you when you was little. He was funny and sweet…he used to play the guitar in a band. He was incredible to watch. He was always happy…smiling. The Marines sure changed him a whole lot…guess I did too. I just could never love him the way he loved me. I hope he finds some happiness one day. I woulda loved for you to know your daddy 'fore all this shit happened. He was like a different man."

That threw me for a loop cuz daddy was an asshole. I couldn't imagine him bein any of those things mama said.

We talked a little while longer until our hour was finally up. She gave the Doc a hug and then held onto me until one of the guards told her to let go. I promised to write and she promised to answer me back. She said she would check in with Carlisle every few weeks to make sure I was okay.

Doc smiled as we were leaving the building, "I think she's made excellent progress, Jasper. I think you have too. So, are you hungry? I'd still like to take you and Edward to dinner tonight."

He laughed now, "He's going to shit when he sees me!"

I laughed too, "Yeah, I'm sure he's gonna be surprised. I can't believe you came here."

He smiled, "I'm your doctor, son, but I'm also a friend. Carlisle and I have been friends for years and I consider his children, mine. I will always come anywhere you need me to be. All you have to do is ask."

I smiled back, "Thanks, Doc."

And as we started walking to the parking lot, I couldn't wait to tell Edward about everything that happened between mama and me. I felt like a big weight had come up off of my shoulders. I felt lighter…freer.

Mama still had three years left to serve so I was hopeful that maybe we could start to fix things between us…maybe.


	36. Chapter 36

**Okay, so my girl, Mattie Hale, started a twilighted thread for our boys…so now ya'll have a place to go to discuss things or whatever…I will be stopping by it and addressing any questions you might have…also, I try to answer some questions in the next chapter of my story (for example, some of you didn't understand how Jay's mom knew he was gay but never called him on it…that will be answered in this chapter)**

**So thanks, Mattie, you fuckin rock! Here's the thread and I have added it to my profile as well.**

**www(dot)twilighted(dot)net(slash)forum(slash)viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9952&p=1019221p1019221**

**Play list - I Want Some More by Dan Auerbach (towards the end of the chapter, I think you'll know when ;) play list is on my you tube…as always **

**Eddie's POV**

Waiting, in general, sucks. Waiting for him to come back to me from something that could completely destroy him, is agonizing. I tried just turning on some music and lying back in the seat. I tried losing myself to the words and the rhythm. I tried.

But nothing worked.

My mind was racing with all of the different scenarios that could happen, none of them good. One thing was certain…

_If that evil bitch hurts my man again…I will rip her fucking head off! _

I glanced at the clock…

_15 minutes! Are you shitting me?_

I still had quite a while to wait and the worrying was killing me. So, I decided to call Em and get things set up for tomorrow. I couldn't wait to have Jay all to myself with nowhere to go and nothing to do…besides each other.

I could feel myself twitch at the thought and figured I'd better call Em fast because sitting in the women's prison parking lot with a stiffy was…awkward.

A lowly, "Hello?" answered.

I smiled when I heard him, "Hey Tommy! How's it going, man?"

His voice picked up and I could hear the smile in it, "Um, okay I guess. How are you, Edward?"

"I'm great. Jay and I are on our way to Michigan. We should be there by tomorrow."

He let out a breath, "Oh. That's great, Edward. So, um…things are okay with you guys? I mean, everything's cool then?"

I smiled as I laid back in the seat and gushed about my boyfriend, "Yeah, it's fantastic. If possible, he's gotten even more beautiful. He has this cool tattoo on his back of angel wings…and he got it just for me. Isn't that amazing? And, damn, Tommy…his tongue is pierced! It feels even more incredible when he…"

"Ugh! Stop, man, stop! I don't need details!"

I laughed and turned a bit red on my over board summation, "Um, sorry about that."

He sighed, "It's okay. I'm happy for you, Edward. I really am…it's just that…"

He trailed off and I began worrying about him. Tommy and I had become quite close in the hospital. I could tell when something was bothering him. I hoped he wasn't having nightmares again or that his asshole parents hadn't done something stupid.

"What is it, Tommy? You can tell me anything, you know that."

He cleared his throat and spoke quietly, "It's nothing, man. I just…kinda miss you, that's all. It was nice having you around to talk to. I just don't feel real comfortable talking to Em about, uh, personal stuff, y'know?"

"Well, I miss you guys too, Tommy. But you know you can call me if you ever need someone to talk to. So, what's going on? Why do you sound so down?"

He took a deep breath and let it all out, "Well, I was thinking…_shit_, here comes Em and Brady…I'll talk to you about it later, okay? And, um, I'm glad you're happy, Edward. Here's Em…"

I started to say something when I heard him yell and tell Em I was on the phone.

I heard some rustling and laughing before hearing a breathless Brady on the phone laughing, "Edward fucking Cullen! Ya know, it sure is a lot less pretty around here without you and Jay!"

I laughed back, "Oh, I'm sure you're keeping Forks pretty enough all on your own, Brady."

"Well, that _is _true. So, what state are you making better looking today, Eddie boy?"

I shook my head as I chuckled, "Um, Indiana. We should be in Michigan by tomorrow evening."

He practically squealed…_God he was turning into such a queen…_

"Oh my god! Em, we need to go down there and party with the boys! Seriously! Why didn't we think of this before?"

I laughed, "Um, when do you think you'll be coming?"

_Please let them hold off awhile so I can have alone time with Jay?_

"Relax, lover boy. We'll wait until the last few weeks or so. Wouldn't want you to have to share your time with your cowboy and his cock. Seriously though, wouldn't it be fun to have the whole gang hanging out again? We miss you guys."

I smiled, "We miss you too. It sounds great, man. I'm sure Jay would love to see you…"

He interrupted with a laugh, "Besides…half naked boys frolicking on the beach sounds like my kind of vacation!"

I burst out laughing, "Frolicking, Brady? Jesus, I really do miss you guys. But what about you and Tommy? I thought you were going to go on a date, the last I heard."

He chuckled, "Oh we did, Edward…total disaster. We're much better as friends…with benefits."

I heard Tommy yell in the background, 'Jesus, Brady! Don't tell him that!"

Brady just huffed, "It's only, Edward, for crying out loud! Have you taken your nerve pill today? You're edgy!"

I heard Tommy muttering in the background but couldn't make anything out.

Brady just sighed, "I don't know what's with him lately. He was doing really well for awhile but these last few days…ugh, never mind…anyway…how are things with you and Jay going? Give me all the dirty details…"

I made a mental note to talk to Tommy later about whatever was going on with him. Lord knows he listened to me go on for hours while we were locked up together.

But for now, I rejoiced in having someone to share all the new intricacies of my love life. So, I did. I told him everything and it was wonderful to talk about it.

He let out a lazy sigh, "Wow…I hope I have what you have someday."

I smiled, "You will, Brady."

"Oh good! So you'll share Jay then?"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "Not a chance in Hell, man."

He laughed, "Well, in the meantime, if you ever need someone to hold the video camera while you two go at it…I'm your man."

I just giggled and shook my head, "I'll keep that in mind, Brady."

He sighed, "Okay, Em looks like he might puke so I better let him talk to you. Take care, Edward. Tell Jay I said hi and see you guys soon."

"You too, Brady. See you soon."

I heard the phone rustle again and heard Em's loud voice, "Eddie! How ya doing, man? No fine details though, dude."

I laughed, "I'm really good, Em. How are you and Rose?"

"Great, man. I love that mean ass bitch. So, dude, you guys close to Michigan yet, or what?"

"Yep, we should be there tomorrow."

"Cool, Eddie. I'll overnight the keys and the security info to the local post office. You've still got the address and everything, right?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks again, Em, for letting us use the cabin. It's really very nice of you."

"Shit, dude, no problem. You guys can have the run of the place. The liquor cabinets are stocked and dad has someone come out to clean the pool and stuff. I told him I was staying there for the summer with Rosie and some friends so they know that people will be there. So, ya want us to come out in a few weeks?"

I smiled, "Definitely! Bring the whole gang if you can. Jay misses you all a lot."

He sighed, "Yeah, we do too. It's not been the same without him…or you. You were always so busy that last month after you got out of the hospital that we haven't seen much of you either."

I heard Brady yell in the background, 'We _haven't _seen much of you, Eddie! I'll start with the front half!'

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Jeez! He's becoming such a perv!"

Emmett's loud laugh boomed again, "Fuck, man! It's the McCarty kiss…turns 'em into sex fiends every time!"

I laughed as I heard them going at each other.

Finally, I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Jay walking up with…Dr. Greene?

"Um, hey Jay's coming so we'll call you back in a little while, okay?"

"Okay, dude. Later, Eddie."

"Later, Em."

I ended the call and jumped out of the car just in time to see Jay's beautiful dimpled smile as he saw me.

_It went well…thank God._

I was so thankful and so relieved that I couldn't stop myself from running up and just launching myself into his arms. He wrapped his arms around me and laughed as I squeezed his neck and pressed soft kisses all over his happy face.

I finally took his lips to mine and kissed him deeply enough that I didn't even care that the Doc was standing there watching us.

Finally, I pulled away from his honey lips and whispered, "Went well then?"

He nodded, "Yeah, Eddie. It went a hell of a lot better than I ever expected it too. And look what I found."

I smiled as he motioned over to the Doc who stood there with his arms folded and an amused look on his face.

I held out my fist to him and laughed, "Hey Doc. Does Jonathan know that you hang around the women's prison?"

He smirked as he bumped my fist, "Hello Edward…yes he does and he encourages my behavior."

Jay wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around his waist as we faced the Doc.

"So, seriously, what's going on? Why are you here?"

He smiled, "I felt Jasper could use some emotional support for this visit. And I've been counseling Linda for the past month or so."

I furrowed my brows, "Really? Why?"

He leaned against my car and pulled out a cigarette. I knew he smoked, he had done so several times when we spoke in the outside area of the hospital.

He took a drag and then proceeded to tell me about how my dad had contacted her and then he went to the Doc for some help. The Doc initially had another doctor speak with her but he wasn't having any luck in getting her to open up. And he figured that having Jay's doctor speak to her might be beneficial. Once Linda found out that Doc Greene spoke with Jasper, she started opening up to him.

He wouldn't give us any details but he said that she had been doing very well these last few weeks and he was hopeful that he could get another doctor to take over her therapy in a month or two.

He asked if he could take us out to dinner before he had to catch his flight back home in a few hours. We hopped in my car and followed him to a small restaurant not far from the prison. Jay told me that he'd tell me all about his visit with his mom later when we had more alone time but that he was hopeful yet still somewhat guarded because of his trust issues.

Doc watched as I grabbed Jay's hand and followed them into the restaurant with a smug smile on his face. I slid in a booth next to Jay and the Doc sat across the table from us.

The Doc smirked at me, "So, I see that you're doing much better with public affection."

I smirked right back as I pulled mine and Jay's laced fingers up on the table, "Much better."

Jasper laughed and leaned over to softly brush his lips on mine as he whispered, "Mmm…love you, Eddie."

I sighed dreamily and whispered, "Love you too, Jay."

Doc rolled his eyes and laughed, "Okay, okay you two…geez…so, Edward, back in the hospital we spoke quite a bit about your fears of being public in your relationship. Can you tell me what changed?"

I could feel my cheeks burning as I squeezed Jay's hand and smiled, "Um…I guess that the fear of _not _being able to touch him and tell him how much I love him scares me more. And, I'm not really frightened anymore of what other people think…they just don't matter."

He folded his hands on the table and raised and eyebrow, "That's wonderful, Edward but fear is a very powerful emotion…I'm amazed that you've let it go so easily."

I shook my head, "It wasn't easy, Doc. I'm still very aware of the looks and the whispers of people around me who don't approve but…I think that love trumps fear any day."

Jasper smiled at me and I smiled back.

We spent quite a while talking about the past few days and everything we had been experiencing. I told the Doc all about Uncle Tony and he was very pleased that I didn't totally freak out when I saw him. I admitted that it freaked me out a lot more than I let on but that I was okay and dealing with it. The initial shock of seeing him had worn off slightly and I was just thankful that I finally got some answers about my past. I wished that I could've known more but the Doc reassured me that I had enough information to put all the pieces together and begin to move on.

And I was really finally ready to do that.

We also spent some time talking about Jay's visit with his mom. I was surprised that she had responded so positively with him. Doc had told us that her being sober had a lot to do with that. Jay said that he wanted to make an effort to fix things with his mom but he would only meet her half way…he wouldn't make the leap by himself only to fall flat on his face at the end.

He had serious trust issues with her and I couldn't blame him. I wondered if they might become even worse because of the lies his grandmother told as well, but I guess only time would tell. At least he trusted me and a handful of others, which I thought was a great testament to how much he had grown.

Eventually, the serious conversation wore down and the Doc smiled over his chicken sandwich and fries, "Okay, so off the record…what kind of things are you boys planning on doing once you reach Michigan?"

_I don't plan on leaving the bedroom…_

My face started to burn as images of day and night long lovemaking sessions entered my thoughts and I had to look down at my plate, "Um…I don't know…just…stuff."

Jasper started laughing and threw his arm around my shoulder, "Well, Doc, to be honest…we probably won't leave the bedroom for the first couple of days…"

My head shot up and I stared at him with wide eyes as my face burned even hotter, "Jay!"

He just chuckled and smiled, "What? You know you were thinkin the same thing as me, Eddie."

The Doc just raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Jasper? You do know that Carlisle is one of my best friends, right? I tell him everything that's off the record."

Now I chuckled as Jay's face turned red and he muttered, "I was only kiddin."

Trying to think quickly to change the subject, I asked, "So, um, Doc…how do you and dad know each other?"

I watched as his face turned a little darker pink and he mumbled, "Well, um, we met in college."

Jasper must've noticed too and he looked at him curiously, "Spill, Doc. Give us the whole story."

He let out an exasperated sigh and smiled slightly, "Fine, fine…I met Carlisle when we were both in college back in Chicago. He introduced Jonathan and me. Anyway, I worked part time at a diner as a waiter to help pay my expenses. I had only received a partial scholarship and I had to bust my ass to make ends meet…"

Ever the curious one, Jay furrowed his brows, "Your parents wouldn't help you?"

Doc sighed and shook his head, "Afraid not. I haven't spoken to my parents since I was fifteen years old. They were very conservative and once they caught me making out with William Byers in the tool shed , they kicked me out of the house. I lived from pillar to post with friends and such while I finished school. I tried once to contact them about fifteen years ago but they wish to pretend that I never existed and I'm content letting them think that."

I looked at the Doc now with his small frown on his face and sighed, "I'm really sorry, Doc."

He just gave me a half smile, "It's okay, Edward. I've worked past it. By the way, you can call me Adam when we're off the record."

Jasper smiled, "I always wondered what your real name was."

Adam laughed now, "I'm surprised you never asked."

Jasper just smirked, "Funny. Now, c'mon, _Adam_…tell us how you met Carlisle and about how you and Jon met."

"Pushy, pushy…anyway, like I said, I worked at the diner most every night. Carlisle began coming in night after night and ordered nothing but coffee. He was always alone and always looked so sad...he never spoke other than to order his drink. I thought he was very handsome and sort of began crushing on him."

Now Jay and I both laughed.

Adam threw his napkin at us, "Shut it, you two. Carlisle is a very handsome man…"

Jasper laughed as he shoved some fries in his mouth, "I'll agree with you on that one, Doc…Big Daddy C's a total hottie…"

I groaned, "Ugh! Stop talking about my dad!"

They were both laughing now and Jay shrugged, "Sorry, man, but Carlisle is a total DILF."

I was getting all flustered now as I threw up my hands, "What the hell is a DILF?"

Jasper laughed even harder as he smiled at me, "Daddy I'd like to fu…"

I covered my ears tightly with my hands and squeezed my eyes shut, "I can't hear you! La la la la la…"

A moment later, my hands were being pulled away and I snapped my eyes open to see Jasper smiling at me, "Sorry, Eddie…I don't really wanna fuck anyone but you, babe."

I folded my arms and looked away as I muttered, "I _cannot _believe you just said you wanted to…_do that_…with my dad!"

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him while I resisted as best I could. He whispered in my ear, "Baby boy, you know I don't want anyone but you. You're all I'll ever want. Forever, sugar. I was just teasin you, Eddie. I'm sorry, please don't be mad."

_Stupid Jasper and his stupid sweet honey voice that melts away all the anger I feel…_

I sighed as I tried my best to make my most angry face at him, "You're an asshole, you know that, right?"

He smiled, "I know I am, darlin. But you love me anyway."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the crooked grin that started to pull at my lips, "Yeah, I do…Dick."

He winked at me, "You just can't keep my dick off your mind, huh, babe?"

"Am I invisible? Grown man sitting right across from you."

I lifted my eyes from my Jasper lust-induced haze and looked at the Doc, "Um, sorry Doc...uh, Adam. Go ahead with your story please."

Adam smiled and mumbled, "Carlisle's going to have his hands full with you two…okay, so I was crushing on Carlisle a bit and eventually worked up the nerve to ask if I could sit with him after my shift let off. Of course, he was gracious and said yes. We talked a little and found out that we went to the same university. He was a sophomore and I was a freshman. I even got the balls to ask him out…"

I laughed a little and Jasper just pulled me closer to his side and smiled at me.

"He was a total sweetheart and told me that he was in love with a beautiful woman but she had broken up with him before he left for college. He was still hopeful that she would come back to him though. So, we started talking every night and became good friends."

Jasper spoke up, "So, how'd he introduce you to your husband?"

Adam smiled and even blushed a little, "About a month after we started talking, he began bringing Jon in with him every so often. He was gorgeous…dirty blonde hair and chocolate eyes. I could barely speak when he was near. They belonged to the same fraternity and had known each other for years. Both of their families were very wealthy and they grew up in the same social circle. Jonathan was always very sweet and kind of shy…very different from me. Carlisle told me that I should ask him out but I just…couldn't. I was still undecided in school at that point and had no idea of what I wanted to do in my life. I had a mountain of debt already and had a horrible job as a waiter in a shitty diner. I had trust and intimacy issues. I had absolutely nothing to offer him."

I smiled now and leaned forward with my elbow on the table, "So, what happened?"

He smiled deeply and I could see the affection in his eyes as he spoke about Jonathan.

"Your dad invited me to a party at their frat house one night. We were all…well hell, we were all completely wasted. From what Jonathan told me, he had been telling Carlisle all night how badly he wanted to kiss me but he was afraid of how I'd react…afraid of how his frat brothers would react to him kissing another man…they all knew he was gay, in fact, there was another gay boy in the house too. But he was just too shy and scared to do it."

Now a realization dawned on me and I laughed, "So, dad kissed the other boy so that Jonathan wouldn't be afraid to kiss you."

He nodded and laughed, "Yes, he did. It was absolutely amazing and completely hilarious. The guys were taking pictures and teased him about it relentlessly but you know your father, he just took it with a good hearted laugh and a smile. So, anyway, Jonathan and I were laughing along when he turned to me and time just seemed to stand still as I saw the laughter in his eyes change to desire. He leaned forward so slowly that I thought I might just burst. Then he brushed his lips against mine and…I was finally home. We've been together ever since."

I sighed dreamily and Jasper smiled, "That's kinda fuckin beautiful, Doc."

He smiled and nodded, "It really is pretty fucking beautiful, Jay. Things haven't always been easy for us. School was stressful and life after school hasn't always been peaches and cream but we make it work. He's a pretty powerful attorney and with my work, we don't see each other for days at a time sometimes…but we always find our way home."

And I found myself anxious at the exciting prospect of becoming Jay's husband someday. I figured, if we could make it through high school together, then we should be able to overcome anything life could throw our way. I was certain that we would always have our share of hard times and trials in life…but I was also certain that we would always find our way home, into each other's arms.

We finished eating and Adam handled the bill, even after we tried to get him to let us pay. We stepped outside and he had to leave for the airport soon but wanted to smoke a cigarette before he left. Jay lit one up too and I jumped up on the hood of my car as I watched them.

Jay stepped up in between my legs and laid his back against my chest as he smoked. I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles in the front as his head laid back on my shoulder. I started massaging his shoulders as he stood there, figuring that the stress of the day had to be getting to him.

He moaned softly and closed his eyes, "Mmm…that feels so good, baby."

I smiled as I gently kissed his golden curls. A minute later his head snapped up and he exhaled, leaving a cloud of smoke as he spoke, "Hey Doc? Can I ask you a question…off the record?"

Adam nodded, "Sure, son, what's on your mind?"

Jay furrowed his brows and took another drag, "Well, mama said that she knew I was gay all them years but I don't know if I buy it. She took every opportunity she had to drag me through the dirt. I don't understand why she never brought that up if she knew."

Adam took a pull from his cigarette before exhaling slowly and leaning against the car next to Jay. He sighed, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you…"

Jay turned and looked at him as he spoke quietly, "Please, Adam…I gotta know or it'll drive me crazy…"

He smirked, "Ya know…you're lucky you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. This stays in between us and no one else…I could get in a lot of trouble for discussing this with you. Do I make myself clear?"

We both nodded and he leaned back against the car again, "Well, that wasn't exactly true, Jasper. As we started talking through everything in therapy, bits and pieces started coming together for her. You must understand, before her incarceration, she was inebriated pretty much all of the time so she couldn't put things together. Subconsciously, I do think that she did know back then…I think that's why she made little off the wall comments to you about having relationships with men…"

Jasper turned his head, "So, that's why she used to talk shit about me and Carlisle?"

Adam nodded, "Yes."

Jasper shook his head, "But that don't make sense. She said she could tell I was in love with Edward…I remember her makin little comments bout people thinking I was a fag if I kept hangin round him but she never flat out accused me of bein with him…"

Adam smiled softly, " Jasper, your mother was insanely jealous of your relationship with Edward. Think about it…did she ever get on you about hanging out with any of your past girlfriends or friends?"

Jay shook his head, "No, I guess not."

The Doc sighed, "She was threatened by what you had with Edward. In her mind, you showed him what you had never shown her…love and respect. She never mentioned it because she was afraid."

Jasper furrowed his brows, "But why would she be afraid? Mama didn't care if she hurt me."

Adam took a breath and looked over at him, "It wasn't about hurting you, son…she was trying not to hurt herself. She was afraid because she knew that you would easily choose Edward over her any day. She was afraid that if she said it aloud then it would be true…you loved Edward more than her. She's always wanted your love, Jasper…she just has no idea how to ask for it or how to give it in return. She's still very much like a small child in some ways. She's been searching for affection from any man she could get for as long as she remembers but what she really wanted…was your affection. So, she's been throwing horrible temper tantrums, basically."

Jay's head hung low for a minute and finally he looked back up with a dimpled grin. He flicked his cigarette and just laughed, "Ya know what, Doc? With mama, I've felt like the grown up my whole life…she did act a lot like a kid and I was always cleanin up after her. But, it's my turn to be a kid for awhile…so, me and Eddie are gonna take off and go behave like some wild ass teenagers for the rest of the summer."

Adam laughed and reached over, pulling Jay into a one arm man hug, "Now that sounds like an excellent plan. You boys have fun, be safe, and don't do anything _too _wild."

Jasper smirked at me with an evil grin while he hugged the Doc and I could tell by the look on his face, that this summer was definitely going to be way too wild for our parents taste…and I couldn't be more excited.

That look went straight to my cock and I tried my best to keep my lower body pulled away as Adam reached out and hugged me too.

I smiled, "Thanks for everything, Doc."

He smiled back, "Anytime, boys. Just promise that you'll be safe. Your poor mom and dad have been worried sick about you two."

I felt the sharp pain of guilt in my gut as I furrowed my brows and looked at the ground, "Yeah, I know. I didn't mean to make them worry so much."

His hand was on my shoulder as he gave me a sympathetic smile, "Edward, they're fine. Trust me…a little alone time is good for them as well. But you boys…you're theirs and they would fight to the death for either of you. Just remember that when you're ready to take off in the middle of the night…"

Then he looked at Jay, "And you remember that when you're ready to start a fight. Like I said, you're smart boys, so just be safe. Now, I have to be on my way…I have a very handsome man waiting on me back home."

Jay and I laughed as he hopped in his car and took off with a wave.

Jay smiled at me, "Ready to get the hell outta here, darlin?"

I smiled back, "Absolutely!" I threw him my car keys and leaned over for a small kiss before we jumped in the car and took off down the highway.

We talked quite a bit about his visit with his mom and he told me everything that happened. He sighed as he put out a cigarette, "It's weird, y'know? I've thought of mama as nothin but bad my whole life…it's weird to think that there might be some good in there too."

I sighed as I turned my body in the seat to face him, "Well, I think that…sometimes when we see people, we see them as either a good person or a bad person…but I think, the truth is, that we're all good _and _bad. No one is completely one or the other…we're all a little of both…in my opinion anyway."

He smiled over at me, "Ya know, Eddie? You're pretty fuckin sexy when you're bein all smart like that."

I could feel the familiar blush cover my cheeks as I smiled back, "Yeah?"

He nodded and reached down to rub himself through his jeans, "Mmm…ya know what would be fuckin awesome right now?"

I couldn't keep my eyes off of the ever growing bulge in his jeans as I mumbled, "Hmm?"

I felt my throat constrict as I gulped and instinctively licked my lips as he popped open the button on his jeans and slowly pulled down the zipper.

I ran my tongue along the corners of my mouth to catch the impending drool that threatened to slide down my chin as he reached into his pants and pulled out his insanely beautiful hard cock.

He smiled at me as he held his big dick in his hand, "Road head."

I wanted to…Lord knows I did but I felt my cheeks burn even hotter as I glanced around and noticed that it was still not very dark outside and people might be able to see.

"Um…Jay? What if…what if someone sees us?"

He smirked as he began pumping his impressive cock very slowly, knowing exactly what he was doing to me as I started squirming in my seat, "C'mon, baby…ya know ya wanna suck my dick right now…taste my sweet sticky honey on your tongue…down your throat…"

I tried to be inconspicous as I wiped the corner of my salivating mouth with the back of my hand. I couldn't argue with his statement…but seriously, there was an old lady driving a mini van next to us.

"I do, Jay but…"

He sighed as that deviant little smirk still played on his lips, "Aww sugar…you're gonna hurt his feelings. Don't ya love him no more? Just one little kiss, baby…please…"

I quickly glanced around as the butterflies danced around in my stomach. I took a deep breath and whispered, "Just one kiss…"

That evil smirk had never left his lips as he watched me quickly lean over the console and brush my lips against the tip of his cock before jumping back in my seat and looking around again to see if anyone had seen.

He whispered, "Hey Eddie?"

I bit my lip and looked over at him, my face still on fire, "Hmm?"

He smiled, "Did I ever tell ya that my dick is French? You should really kiss him in his native tongue."

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "That was really cheesy, Jay! You can just tell Pierre le Cock that it's not going to happen."

That damn smirk still ghosted his pretty pink lips as he shook his head, "Don't talk about him like he's not right here, Eddie…and you can just tell him that shit yourself cuz I ain't gonna be responsible for breakin his poor heart…"

I laughed again as he ran his thumb over his slit and whispered, "I'm tryin, man…I'm tryin…"

I shook my head and giggled, "You are absolutely ridiculous. Fine…"

My mom knew a lot of French because her and my dad went to Paris before they adopted me. I use to listen to her speak it and studied it quite a bit so I decided to fuck with Jay a little.

I leaned down and looked at his gorgeous, mouthwatering, ginormous cock and sighed, "Que mes baisers soient les mots d'amour que je ne te dis pas."

I watched it twitch and harden even more as Jay groaned so I brushed my parted lips over the head and slowly slid my tongue across his weeping slit.

_Maybe he likes it when I speak French as much as I like it when he speaks Spanish…_

He let out a husky moan and whispered, "When the fuck did ya learn French?"

I smiled now with a cocky smirk as I looked up at him through my lashes, "It wouldn't be any fun if I told you all my secrets, now would it, Jay?"

He licked his lips and breathed out, "Say somethin else, baby."

So I lifted up and brought my lips to his ear as I whispered, "Entre deux coeurs qui s'aiment, nul besoin de paroles."

He moaned softly, "What did you say, Eddie?"

I smirked as I looked down at his throbbing cock as it twitched against his stomach, "He knows what I said."

And all thoughts of little old ladies driving mini-vans or Church busses flying down the highway suddenly became absolutely insignificant as I leaned back down and took him down my throat, swallowing around him and humming in blissful pleasure.

He groaned and gripped the steering wheel with a knuckle whitening grip. I bobbed happily up and down over his hard shaft as one hand weaved into my hair and gently guided me.

It wasn't long until he moaned out my name and I felt his pure sticky honey come out in thick creamy spurts down my throat and on my tongue.

I was so hard I thought I might combust if I didn't have him soon. So, I raised up and took his earlobe between my teeth as I whispered, "S'il vous plaît arrêter et me faire l'amour dure et rapide contre le mur…please…please, baby…"

He groaned and mumbled, "If you wanna get fucked in a roadside bathroom somewhere, Eddie…keep on talkin…"

I smiled and giggled against his neck, "Je te veux ... J'ai besoin de toi ... Je t'aime ... s'il vous plaît me faire l'amour …"

He growled as he pulled off a highway exit ramp that led to a rest area mumbling things like, "Gonna get it…" and "don't know what he fuckin got himself into…"

When we pulled up and came to a stop, he quickly turned the car off and then tucked himself back into his jeans. Then he reached into the console and grabbed the small bottle of lube, stuffing it into his pocket.

He looked over at me and in a throaty whisper said, "C'mon, babe…"

My breathing hitched as I looked around at the semi crowded rest area and my face burned as I whispered, "Here?"

He had the sexiest snarl on his lips as he laughed, "Don't even try that shy shit with me right now, Eddie…get outta the fuckin car and come with me so I can fuck the ever lovin daylights outta you…"

I felt the shiver of excitement roll through my body at his vulgar words…

_Yes sir…God, I loved it when he talked like that…_

I pulled my shirt down over the bulge in my jeans as I hopped out of the car. Jay quickly grabbed my hand and started pulling me along until we came to a 'Family' restroom. I didn't even have time to be confused as he yanked me inside and pushed my back against the door.

I gasped as he crushed his lips to mine in a wild, ferocious kiss…teeth clanking, tongues tasting every inch of each other's mouth, lips bruising from the force…

I groaned into his mouth as I heard the 'click' of the door being locked behind me. His hands snaked around my waist as mine went around his neck. I pushed against him a little and I about jizzed my pants right then and there when he slammed me back against the door with a deep growl as he continued kissing me with everything he had.

A moment later, he began walking backwards, pulling me with him as his grip on my hips never lessened. We stumbled and he dragged me as our lips and teeth and tongue continued their delicious assualt on one another.

Walking was difficult with our eyes closed and bodies melted into one another but our lips only parted with small gasps as we ran into something…sink…wall…counter…before quickly reconnecting.

When we eventually made it into the one stall in the small bathroom, Jay pulled away and popped the button of my jeans open before jerking my zipper open and just yanking my jeans and boxers down fiercely.

I gasped as my dick sprung forth and was soon engulfed in his scorching, wet mouth. My eyes were closed as my hands went to his hair and all I could do was moan out his name over and over.

My hips bucked into the wet heat before his rough fingertips gripped my hips and slammed them back against the wall of the bathroom stall as he grunted and growled around my cock.

That simple forceful action caused me to see stars as I came deep down his throat.

He swallowed everything I gave and seconds later, he was up on his feet again, taking my mouth to his in a brutal kiss that only helped to make my knees weak. The taste of myself mixed in with the sticky honey of his tongue caused me to groan and quickly go for his pants, repeating his actions and roughly yanking them down around his ankles…but not before I grabbed the lube from his pocket.

Then both of my hands were being held against the wall above my head by the fierce grip of his fingers as he pressed his strong body into mine with another growl.

The lube was taken from my hand and I heard the cap pop open as his other hand grabbed my leg and yanked it up around his waist, leaving one leg of my jeans and my shoe sitting on the floor beneath me.

I groaned as my foot pressed against the opposite wall behind his back and then I felt his hot slick fingers pressing inside of me.

He now had one hand on my ass, holding me firmly in place as the other one continued stretching and preparing me for imminent pleasure.

I had one arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders while the other reached up and gripped the top of the bathroom stall wall behind me to provide leverage and support.

His puffy pink lips pulled away from my crimson bruised ones as he whispered, "Are you okay?"

I laughed deliriously at his sweet concern because I was off in fucking Wonderland right now and he hadn't even started fucking me yet.

"Yeah, baby…I'm okay."

He smiled at me with that beautiful dimpled grin, "You like it rough, huh?"

My cheeks were on fire but, like I said, I was drunk and delirious with pleasure, "Fuck yeah, I do."

That evil smile came back as I felt him position himself at my entrance. His lips ghosted mine as he whispered, "Good…cuz I'm bout to fuck you into next week, boy…"

I groaned as his lips slid around to my ear and whispered, "Tell me if you need to stop, baby…"

I nodded and a second later, I felt his hard cock penetrate through my tight ring of muscle. It was the most intense, savory burn I had ever felt. I wanted more.

I pushed slightly against him and we both groaned as he slipped in a little further. He entered me slowly, taking the time to make sure I was adjusted before he started moving.

Once he was all the way in, my foot pushed against the wall to provide sufficient support as he began slowly moving his hips.

Our chests were heaving and my body was on fire as his hips rolled up into me, pushing me hard against the wall and causing my foot on the ground to stand on my tippy toes. I strengthened my grip on the stall ledge above me and my grip around his shoulders as he started moving harder and faster.

His hard cock slammed in and out of me, hitting my magic spot over and over again as his teeth and tongue devoured my neck. I wasn't capable of anything right now other than just being lost to the wonders of my beautiful lover fucking me into blissful oblivion.

The sounds of grunts and growls and slapping flesh filled the small room as my toes started to curl. Jay's grip on my hips held me in place as I fought to stay upright.

His hard shallow breaths and uttered curse words only helped to intensify the pleasure of being taken against a wall by the man I loved more than life itself.

My hand on his shoulder slid up into sweaty, damp curls and held on tightly. A muffled growl against my neck was quickly swallowed by my willing mouth as his lips took mine again.

Over and over again, he took me hard and fast and relentless against the wall and I relished every delicious moment of it.

My cock was once again hard and pulsing and I was unable to even warn Jay as I came hard on his stomach and all over his t-shirt.

Moments later, his thrusts became erratic and frenzied as he groaned into my mouth and came deep inside of me.

A few more long slow thrusts and he gently pulled himself out of me.

My leg dropped from the wall down to the floor and I nearly fell, unable to stand on my own two feet but luckily, he held onto me tight. My arms wrapped around his shoulders and his arms around my waist as we just held each other, trying to even out our shallow breathing.

Eventually, we pulled away from each other. I was still wobbly so he had to help me get my jeans and shoe back on. Then we noticed the sticky messes on our t-shirts and Jay just laughed as I turned red and muttered, "Um…sorry…"

He pulled his shirt off and wiped mine off as best he could. He just left his off and threw it over his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me again and whispered, "Can you walk now, baby?"

I took a few tentative steps and nodded, "Um, yeah."

He smiled and took my lips to his in a soft sweet kiss. When our lips parted he whispered, "I love you, Eddie."

I smiled and whispered back, "I love you too, Jay."

He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bathroom, "C'mon, babe, we still got a lot of drivin to do 'fore we get a room."

I followed him out and could feel the intense stares as we emerged from the bathroom. I wanted to be embarrassed…but I was still reeling from being fucked against a bathroom wall in a highway rest stop by Jasper fucking Whitlock…

**A/N So ya'll aren't left hanging…here's the English translations for what Eddie said…btw, I used google translate so they may or may not be correct ;)**

**Que mes baisers soient les mots d'amour que je ne te dis pas. - Kisses are the unspoken words of love**

**Entre deux coeurs qui s'aiment, nul besoin de paroles -Two hearts in love need no words**

**S'il vous plaît arrêter et me faire l'amour dure et rapide contre le mur - Please pull over and make love to me hard and fast against the wall…**

**Je te veux ... J'ai besoin de toi ... Je t'aime ... s'il vous plaît me faire l'amour - I want you...I need you...I love you...please make love to me**


	37. Chapter 37

**Okay guys…I'm getting ready to go on vacation for about a week. The hubby, son, and I are gonna spend some time deep in the middle of the woods by a nice little lake…so I'm sure I will be plenty inspired once I return to write some lovely little lemons.**

**Also, the next few chapters will be mostly fluffy goodness…Lord knows I need to write some fun happy stuff for a bit. So, hopefully this chapter will tide you over for a bit.**

**See you in a couple weeks!**

**Playlist: For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert**

**Jay's POV**

Once we got back to the car, I lit a square and took off outta the parkin lot. Inhaling deeply and feeling completely satisfied, I couldn't help but feel like the motherfuckin shit as I looked at the beautiful bronze haired boy passed out in the passenger seat with a soft smile on his cherry lips.

_Yeah…I fuckin rocked that shit…_

I headed down the highway as dusk finally settled. I felt so fuckin free. I had never really felt that way before…there was always someone or something dictating my life for me. But now, for a little while anyway, I was my own boss…answering to no one and doin whatever the hell I wanted with my baby boy at my side.

And just cuz Fate thinks it's all fuckin funny and shit…Eddie's phone started ringing in his pocket with Carlisle's ring tone.

So I reached over and slid my hand into the pocket of his snug jeans…earning a soft moan and some shifting as he began to harden.

I chuckled quietly as I pulled his phone out…

_My sweet insatiable boy…_

I hit the button and smiled as I spoke, "Big Daddy C! How the hell are ya?"

He laughed softly, "I'm good, son. It sounds as if everything went okay today…with your mother?"

"Yeah, man. Went a lot better than I thought. I was a little shocked that you had spoken to her and that the Doc was there…but all in all, it went really well."

He sighed, "Yeah, I'm so sorry about not telling you, Jasper. I was just very concerned that if you knew we had spoken, then you wouldn't visit her. And I really believed the meeting would be beneficial to you both. But I do hope that I didn't upset you, son."

I smiled, "No, not at all. I understand why you did it but I hope you won't keep something like that from me again, Carlisle. I know I'm a little hot headed sometimes but I'm a big boy and I can handle myself. I appreciate you lookin out for me though."

He took a deep breath, "Well, I'm glad you're not upset…however, I do have some news that may potentially upset you."

I felt a knot arise in my stomach cuz I wasn't sure what to expect with all the crazy shit that happened in my life.

"What is it?"

"Your father called this afternoon."

_Of course he did… _

I felt that familiar nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach as I sighed, "How bad is it, Carlisle?"

He let out a breath and spoke, "Well, he spoke with Esme and she said he was quite upset. Apparently, one of your cousins told him that you ran off with some girl. He asked her if you had been dating anybody when you lived with us. Of course, she told him that you weren't dating any girls that she knew of…"

I groaned, "Was he rude to Esme?"

He sighed, "Well…let's just say that she can handle herself too, son, so don't worry. She did say that he seemed rather worried about you though."

That made me laugh, not humorously but still.

"That's not all, son…."

I took a deep breath and braced myself, "What else?"

"Um…I guess that some girl told him that she saw you and a boy leave in a car with Washington tags."

"Who the fu…hell would've told him that?"

He sounded exhausted as he spoke, "He didn't say. He's not sure who to believe but I imagine he will be showing up here at some point."

"I'm really sorry, Carlisle. I don't want you guys involved in my bullsh…stuff."

He chuckled a little and yawned, "S'okay, son…"

I decided to change the subject, "So, um…how's Charlotte? I haven't heard anything for a couple of days."

"She's…hanging in there longer than the doctors had expected…but I'm afraid it won't be much longer."

"What about Peter? Is he…doin alright?"

He sighed, "He's managing as best he can. He's got a lot of support and he's one tough old man so he'll pull through this. Emmett and Brady have been spending a lot of time with him…helping him get things done and trying to keep his mind off things."

I smiled a little at that thought…I really needed to call them.

Then my mind came back to my dad, "Hey, do you know if my dad has called me in as a runaway or anything?"

"He didn't mention it to Esme but I'll have Charlie check for me tomorrow and let you know."

"Thanks, man."

We talked a little longer about my visit with my mom and how Edward was doing. I gave him a little shit about kissing a guy at that frat party and he laughed, saying that he had forgotten exactly why he had done that but he still had the pictures in an album somewhere.

I made him promise to show me sometime.

By the time we got off the phone, I was completely tuckered out. So, I pulled over at a Days Inn and got us a room for the night.

I had to practically drag Edward in the room…I must've really worn his ass out cuz he didn't wanna wake up.

He curled up on the bed completely clothed with even his shoes on and was out again by the time I brought the last of our bags in.

So, I pulled off his shoes and managed to get him out of his jeans without waking him. I pulled the blanket from underneath him and covered him up before I hopped in the shower.

Once I was done getting ready for bed, I decided to give Jeremiah a call to see if he knew anything more than what Carlisle had told me.

Clad in only a pair of sweats, I walked out onto the balcony and lit a cigarette as I waited for him to answer.

"Big cock, Whitlock…Jeremiah speakin'…"

I chuckled, "What the fuck would you have done if this was gran ma callin?"

He laughed now, "Shit, son, granny always says that gran pa had the biggest cock of us all…"

I smiled, "Sounds like granny."

"So, I guess ya heard bout your daddy lookin for ya?"

I sighed, "Yeah, I heard. Thanks for tryin to cover for me. Do y'know who told him that I left with a guy in a car with Washington tags?"

He huffed, "Who the fuck do ya think, Cuz? That fuckin Kaycee bitch! Just thank your lucky stars that she didn't see ya'll kissin."

I was truly very thankful for that little tidbit.

"Yeah, I shoulda fuckin known…"

He chuckled a little, "Don't worry bout it, man. I got her back for ya…told her that if she didn't shut the fuck up bout ya…I was gonna get ya to press charges for statutory rape and shit…"

I laughed, "Dude, we didn't do anything!"

I could practically hear the smirk in his voice, "Shit, son…it don't matter cuz that nasty bitch fucks with them young'uns all the time…I'm buddies with the local sheriff's son…I threatened to get the hooker locked up…"

I rolled my eyes with a laugh, "Do you know everybody in that god damn town?"

"Yup."

I laughed and he continued talkin, "So, how's the road trip goin? Ya doin okay? Ya done bein all emo and shit since ya got your…ya know…dude back?"

I shook my head with a chuckle, "Yeah…I'm happy I got my dude back, Cuz."

He sighed, "Well that's good…he seems like an alright guy."

I smiled as I looked at my beautiful boy curled up on the bed, "Yeah, he's…a really good guy."

He laughed, "So…he got a sister or somethin? I need me a doctor's daughter…the kid must be loaded."

I rolled my eyes again, "No, he ain't got no sister. And, yeah, his family's well off but he's not, like, stuck up or nothin…and I don't like him cuz of his money…"

He chuckled again, "Pull your panties out your ass, man…I was just fuckin with ya…ya don't wear panties, do ya? Y'know what? I don't wanna know…"

"Fuck no, I don't wear panties, fucker! I'm all fuckin man…"

He laughed again, "So, he's the chick, huh? Well, he _is_ kinda pretty…"

I just shook my head and laughed, "You're a silly mother fucker…anyway, how's it goin with you? Your chick doin alright with the baby?"

He sighed, "Shit, Cuz, she's pissed as hell at me bout joinin the army…thinks I'm leavin her and shit…"

"Sorry, Cuz…that sucks."

"Yeah…but the baby's doin alright. We'll find out what it is at the end of the week 'fore I leave for boot camp."

I groaned internally…I hated that he was leavin.

"I'll call again 'fore ya leave…take this number…it's Eddie's but he won't care bout you callin me…"

He chuckled, "I dunno, man…if I was your dude, I'd be fuckin pissed at havin someone as good lookin as I am callin…"

I laughed again, "You ain't got shit on Eddie, fucker."

"Whatever…ya know if I wasn't your Cuz…you'd fuckin want me."

"Jeremiah…you got serious issues, man."

He chuckled again, "Shit, son…tell me somethin I don't know."

I heard somebody yell "Fire in the hole!" in the background and Jeremiah laughed, "Hey I gotta go, man…take care of yourself and I'll call ya if I hear anythin else."

"Alright, take care of yourself…later, Cuz."

"Later, Cuz."

I hung up the phone and flicked my cigarette over the edge of the balcony. I heard some rustling from behind me and turned to see Edward stretch his arms above his head and yawn while sitting up in bed.

His voice was rough with sleep as he looked around hazily and whispered, "Jay?"

I opened the patio door and walked back into the darkened room, "I'm here, Eddie."

I could see his beautiful crooked grin even in the darkness, "Hey, babe…what are you doing?"

I pulled back the blanket and slipped in next to him, "Nothing, baby…I was just talkin to Jeremiah."

He laid back down and snuggled into my arms with his back to my chest and his ass pressed into me. I wrapped my arms around him and played with his soft silky hair as he gently ran his velvet fingertips up and down my forearm.

He whispered with a contented sigh, "Mmm…is everything okay?"

I pressed my lips into the back of his neck and kissed it softly, "Yeah…my, um…dad is lookin for me…"

He turned and looked at me with wide emerald eyes, "Did he…does he know…"

I shook my head slightly, "No, baby…he don't know where I'm at. Everyone's doin their best to cover for me…"

He turned completely in my arms now and his hands cupped my cheeks as he whispered, "Jay? At the end of the summer if…well, if he…I would run…you know I would run away with you, right? Anywhere…I'd follow you anywhere."

_I know you would, Eddie…but even I'm not selfish enough for that…_

But I knew how he would react if I tried to fight with him on it, so I just smiled and pulled his lips to mine, "I know you would, baby…"

At the end of the summer, I would have to decide what I was gonna do if nothing had changed my dad's mind…but whatever I did, Edward would be staying in Forks with his family and friends…he would finish high school there…I was fuckin certain about that.

And I was done talkin about it…wastin precious time with Eddie that could be coming to an end sooner than either of us wanted…so I kissed him deep and made love to him until we both fell into an exhausted but completely satisfied sleep.

The next morning, we were both practically runnin out the door, anxious to get to the cabin and relax the rest of the summer. We were fuckin giddy with excitement as we passed the state line into Michigan.

Windows down and music blaring, we laughed and talked about all the stuff we wanted to do this summer. He wanted to get some kind of a tan…but I was damn near tempted to sabotage his tanning lotion with sun block cuz I loved his creamy, pale skin just the way it was.

I just wanted to have as much fun as we possibly could before going back to reality.

When we were about an hour out from the cabin, I decided to give Em a call to thank him for everything and to tell him I was sorry for not callin him sooner.

"What's up, fucker?"

"It's about time you called me ya fucking asshole!" he answered with a laugh, his voice booming just as loud as I remembered.

I laughed, "Sorry, man…I _was _bein an asshole…I shoulda called you sooner."

He sighed, "Yeah, you should've…so, what's been going on, Jay?"

I told him about everything that happened in Texas and how fucked up my head was, thinkin that none of them would wanna be bothered with me anymore.

He scolded me, "That's total bullshit, Jasper. I have a lot of acquaintances, man…but I don't have many friends. You're on that short list, fucker…you're like a little fucking brother to me, Jay, and no matter where you are…that's not going to change. Remember that…douche."

I chuckled, "I will…dickhead. I'm…really fuckin sorry, man. It won't happen again."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "Well, alrighty then…so, how ya doing, man?"

And just like that, it was like nothing ever happened. Emmett was one of those rare people in life that don't judge you or hold things over your head…when he forgave, he forgot, just that simple. He was a really good friend…a real friend and I wouldn't forget that again.

We talked for a little longer and he told me that they were planning on coming down for a couple weeks towards the end of the summer. I was pretty psyched cuz I really wanted to see them all. I had missed hangin out with them.

When we hung up the phone I was feelin a whole lot better about everything.

Eddie and I pulled up to the Post Office about an hour later. We were really fuckin excited to get the keys and stuff to the cabin. So, when the woman behind the counter gave us a big cardboard box, Eddie and I looked at each other curiously cuz it was way bigger than it should be for some keys.

Eddie smiled as he read the side, "Hey, it says Happy Birthday on it. Em must've sent us a birthday present."

I smiled, "That was real nice. What do ya think it is?" I picked it up and shook it as he laughed and grabbed it back.

"Only one way to find out…" he grabbed the end of the masking tape and began peeling it off. Once the top was opened, he pulled out a small envelope that had some keys and details about when the cleaning crew came and the security information.

Then he pulled out a smaller box that was kind of long…like maybe a wine bottle or something.

It was wrapped real pretty with a big red bow on it. Eddie bit his lip as he took the top off.

I peeked inside, "What is it?"

He shrugged at the crinkled paper he saw and reached his hand inside. He furrowed his brows, "What the hell is this?"

The next thing I know, he was waving a big hot pink dildo around as everyone around us gasped, laughed, and covered their children's eyes.

Okay, I was the main person laughing but that shit was funny as fuck. Eddie gasped and immediately turned red, all the way through to the tips of his ears.

He just stood there, holding it with wide green eyes and a look of pure horror on his face.

I was laughin pretty hard but when I heard a kid say, "Mommy, look…they _do _make pink light sabers!"…

Yeah, I fuckin lost it and was in hysterics now.

Eddie quickly tried to hide the dildo behind his back but then we heard another child, "Ouch! Mommy, he hit me in the eye with that light saber!"

Eddie turned and I looked behind him to see a little boy, maybe five years old, standing there with his hand over his eye and pointing at Edward.

Eddie started stammering as he held his hands up to the mama giving him the mean stare, "I'm so sorry…I didn't see him there…this…isn't even mine!"

He was stuttering as he shook the dildo at the woman who grabbed up the child and turned tail outta there.

I heard some young woman in line mutter, "Damn…their fudge packers…"

Then the little girl in front of her who had been excited about the pink light saber, tugged at her mama's dress and asked, "Mommy, what's a fudge packer? I love fudge! Do they use that pink light saber to stir the fudge?"

The shocked woman said something about how we were similar to Keebler elves and I lost it again.

But poor Eddie was havin it hard as he stood there, frozen with embarrassment, still holding onto that hot pink dildo.

I managed to get myself down to a chuckle now cuz seriously, I bet the poor Doc would be hearin about this incident for years to come from my now troubled boyfriend.

I put my hands on his shoulders and tried not to laugh as I said, "Breathe, darlin. Give me the dildo."

He gulped and slowly handed me the damn thing like he was in slow motion. I had to pry it from his fingers as he gripped it with white knuckles. I managed to stifle my laughter as I spoke softly again, "_Give _me the dildo, Edward."

He finally released his fingers and stood there rigid as I put it back in the smaller box and threw that box in the bigger one. I tucked it under my arm just as a man came out and asked us to leave and never return.

I nodded and grabbed Edward's hand, pulling him along behind me as we ran outta there and to the car. I opened his door cuz he was still frozen with shock.

Once he was in, I threw the box in the back and hopped in on my side.

I was cautious as I spoke, "Um, Eddie? Ya okay, babe?"

Even his ears were red as he turned to me and huffed, "I can't believe he did that to me!

A dildo! A fucking hot pink dildo! I pulled it out in front of everybody! I have never been more mortified!"

I had to wipe the tears from my eyes as I smiled at my pissed as hell boy who was sitting there with his arms crossed across his chest and a scowl that was even fuckin sexy.

"Aww…baby, it ain't that bad…we got a new toy to play with…"

He rolled his eyes, "I hit a child in the eye with it, Jay."

I chuckled as I reached out and took his hands, "Babe? You ain't ever gonna see none of these people again. It happened, baby, ain't nothin you can do now but let it go. Would it make you feel better to call Em and cuss him out?"

He nodded. So I reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. I found Em in the contacts and hit 'send' before handing the phone to him.

He took the phone and I looked back in the box and pulled out a piece of paper with Em's messy scrawl on it…

**So, Jay, you remember when you embarrassed the hell out of me at the drug store for embarrassing Eddie? Revenge is a dish best served cold. Have fun dealing with a seriously pissed off Edward, fucker.**

**Happy Birthday Boys!**

**LMFAO-Em**

I laughed as I slipped the note back in the box and heard Eddie screaming into the phone.

"Emmett William McCarty! What the hell? I cannot believe you did that to me! You just wait…when you get down here…you are in so much trouble! Jay's got my back! You're in for a world of pain, McCarty!"

I was fuckin rollin now as Eddie let Em have it. I could hear Em laughing on the other end and that only enraged Eddie more.

"You think it's funny? Pink! It was hot fucking pink! The children thought it was a light saber! I damn near put a child's eye out with the thing! You are dead! With a capital D-E-A-D! Oh that's it! I'm calling Rosalie right now and telling her about that red head you saw when we went out a few weeks ago! You remember? The one you said had an awesome set of tits?"

I heard Em yell out, "Dude? Dude? Calm the fuck down! No need to get my junk castrated! Rose will have my fucking balls, man! I'm sorry!"

Edward sat there with a smug smile on his face as he started calming down, "Thank you for the apology."

I just shook my head and took off for the cabin while they continued talkin for a few minutes. By the end of the conversation, they were both laughin again.

He hung up and smiled at me, "We've still got to get him good when they get down here. You've got my back, right?"

I smiled and took his hand, "I got your back, babe…and your front."

He rolled his eyes and chuckled. He had finally calmed down and was smiling again when we pulled down a long drive that went up into the side of a big hill.

It was surrounded by trees and very secluded. When we finally pulled up to the driveway, I silently thanked God for givin me rich friends.

The house was amazing...not huge, but beautiful.

It was a very modern version of a log cabin nestled in the trees. Eddie gasped as he looked up, "Wow! This is awesome!"

I couldn't contain my grin as I grabbed the box behind me and jumped outta the car, "C'mon, Eddie! Let's go check this shit out!"

He quickly followed as I ran up about twenty steps to the front door. I pulled out the keys and the security codes and a few seconds later, we walked inside.

I dropped the box off in the front entryway and looked around in awe. The living room was pretty big with a fluffy lookin couch and recliner in front of a great big stone fireplace. There was a huge TV and entertainment center along the wall on the other end.

I grabbed Eddie's hand as we wandered through the rest of the house, checkin things out. There was a game room with a pool table, darts, and a fully stocked bar. There were three bedrooms, the master had a nice garden tub and I laughed when I saw the mirror above the bed.

_Em's dad is a freak…hooray for me and Eddie!_

We walked through the kitchen and found our way to some patio doors. When we stepped out back, we just stood there and stared at the orange sun starting to slowly melt away over the lake.

There was a huge in-ground pool and hot tub…but down the side of the hill, there was a private beach.

I was so fuckin ready to get this summer started!

Apparently, Eddie was too cuz he smiled at me with that beautiful little crooked grin, "Let's go get our stuff and get settled in!"

I nodded and after two trips to the car, we had everything inside of the cabin. Eddie was busy organizing shit so I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and just watched the water…it was really calming and peaceful.

A few minutes later, I threw my cigarette in the ash tray and headed back to the master bedroom to see if Eddie needed any help.

He had almost everything done by the time I got there and I laughed as I saw him lying on the bed, staring at himself in the mirror.

I smiled too as he patted the bed and said, "Come here, Jay."

So I kicked off my shoes and laid down next to him. He leaned up on one elbow and looked at my long body stretched out beside him. He bit that crimson plump lip and whispered, "Want to fuck?"

I smirked as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him on top of me, fully enjoying the view in the mirror above me, "You know I wanna fuck, Eddie."

He giggled as he smiled shyly at me and whispered, "I've always wanted to try something…close your eyes and stay very still…"

My dick twitched a little but I closed my eyes and felt his velvet fingertips pulling my arms from around his waist and lifting them back on the bed, stretched out above my head.

I felt the bed shift as he must've been reaching for something. He giggled again, "No peeking, Jay!"

I couldn't help the dimpled grin that I wore cuz that fuckin giggle did something strange to me.

I was ready for whatever my baby boy wanted to do…until I felt the familiar cold steel lock around my wrist…then the other.

My eyes flashed open as I tugged my hands but they wouldn't budge. He had handcuffed me through the slats in the headboard.

"Edward? What the hell?"

He looked at me all innocently with those big green puppy dog eyes, "It happened, baby…there's nothing you can do about it now, honey, so let it go…"

_The lil' fucker was mockin me! _

He leaned down with one elbow on my chest as used his other hand to tease my nipples through my t-shirt and hummed, "Hmm…now that I have you…whatever shall I do with you?"

I pulled at the cuffs again cuz I like to have my control and this shit was fuckin me up.

He smiled, "Baby, don't hurt yourself…I'm trying to help you, Jay. I think it would be good for you to give up your control completely and trust someone else fully with your body…that 'someone' being me. You know I won't hurt you…relax, baby."

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths as he continued runnin his fingers all over my chest.

I finally opened my eyes and raised an eyebrow, "Where'd you get the cuffs, Edward?"

Cuz these fuckers weren't budging like that plastic bullshit…these were real handcuffs.

He smirked and shrugged, "I lifted them from a security guard at the psych ward…"

Now my eyes were wide, "Eddie! What the hell? You coulda got in a lotta trouble for that!"

He rolled his eyes, "Said the boy who committed a felony right in front of me…breaking and entering…ring a bell, sweetheart?"

I half huffed, half chuckled, "You're an asshole…"

He smiled again as he batted his long pretty eyelashes at me, "No, baby…you're the asshole…I'm the sweet, innocent one…"

I laughed now and quit struggling against the cuffs, "Innocent, my ass…okay, baby boy…I'm yours…do with me what you will…"

He smiled as he ran his fingers through my curls, "That's a good boy…"

I rolled my eyes and he chuckled as he straddled me and took my lips to his. He kissed me deep and hard as he rolled his hips into mine, causing my cock to quickly respond.

He moved down my jaw, nipping and sucking and licking…I craned my neck to give him better access as I gripped onto the headboard for support and started rolling my hips underneath his.

Small moans and grunts and sighs filled the room as he devoured my neck and dry humped the hell outta me.

He raised above me on all fours as his hooded emerald eyes bore into mine. His hands gripped my shirt at the neck and he began tugging with a few grunts of frustration.

I raised an eyebrow, "Um, babe? Are ya tryin to rip my shirt off?"

He sighed with another frustrated grunt and tug, "Yes! What the hell is this shirt made out of?"

Finally, I was chuckling and he mumbled in annoyance, "Oh holy hell…"

Then he reached over and opened the nightstand drawer, pulling out a small pair of scissors with a look of satisfaction in his eyes.

He snipped the top and threw the scissors back in the drawer before sitting up on me and ripping the shirt right down the middle this time.

I laughed at his proud smile and just shook my head, "You're the motherfuckin, man, babe."

He laughed now too and lowered his head again, continuing his kisses and licks and nips along my chest…my nipples…and traveling down to my stomach.

By the time he reached my happy trail, I was fuckin aching.

I lifted my hips so he could tug off my jeans and boxers…my thick cock bouncing lightly against my stomach as I moaned softly.

Edward smiled against my hipbone as he sucked it before he leaned over and trailed his lips right above my cock.

He whispered and I could feel the warmth of his breath against my heated skin, "Bon jour, Pierre…"

We both laughed softly until he started torturing me again, leaving poor Pierre just hangin…well, not really _hangin_…but whatever…he skipped Pierre completely and continued his exploration of my body with his tongue and teeth.

I moaned out, "Please, baby…suck my dick…c'mon, Eddie…please…"

He looked up from between my legs where he was sucking on the inside of my thighs, "I already have you bound, Love…don't make me gag and blindfold you too."

I moaned and tightened my fingers around the headboard as he worked his tongue all over my body, eventually ending back in between my legs where he lifted them onto his shoulders.

I gasped as I felt his tongue start circling my hole before plunging into it.

"Oh fuck!"

I pulled at those fuckin cuffs again and growled cuz my dick was leakin and throbbin and probably cussing me out in a foreign language.

My eyes were clenched shut cuz I couldn't take much more as my hips bucked against his tongue over and over again.

I heard the top to the lube pop open and figured Eddie was getting ready to finally fuck me…but my eyes shot open and I fuckin screamed out when I felt him engulf my dick in that hot little mouth of his while something began pressing into me.

I looked in the mirror above the bed and saw Eddie workin that hot pink dildo inside of me while he took me down his throat and hummed.

My head began thrashing from side to side cuz this shit felt so fuckin good…there were no fuckin words…

He was hittin my magic spot now as he worked the dildo hard and fast inside of me and sucked my dick like a motherfuckin champ.

My arms were weak from straining against those cuffs but I dug my heels into the bed and moved against the dildo and his mouth…two sources of extreme pleasure.

Another few strokes and I was seein stars as I shot my load deep down his throat and clenched around the dildo.

He swallowed happily around me until I was so fuckin sensitive that I wanted to scream for him to stop…but that shit ain't gonna happen so I bit my lip to keep me screamin.

His movements were slower now, more gentle as he moved the dildo slowly in and out of me and licked my semi hard cock up and down until I was standin at full fuckin attention again.

He removed the dildo and I fuckin whimpered as my cock pulsed again…

He released my cock from his mouth and stood up, slowly removing his clothes as I watched with hooded eyes.

Once he was naked, he smiled that crooked grin I love so much and climbed on top of me. He leaned down and kissed me gently as he whispered, "As I was saying…there's something I want to try…"

I giggled now, "You mean fuckin me and suckin my dick at the same time wasn't it?"

He giggled too and shook his head, "No…this is what I wanted to try…"

He pulled away from me and I watched as he turned over, lying his back against my chest and his head on my shoulder.

He grabbed the lube and reached down to stroke my cock while I watched us in the mirror.

_He wants to try it from behind…he needs to feel in control…that's why I'm cuffed…fuck, this psycho analysis shit must be rubbin off from the Doc…_

I dug my heels into the mattress again as he guided my cock to his ass. I just held my legs still as he slowly started moving down against my cock. His ass was the tightest, hottest, most incredible thing I had ever felt…but fuck, I really wanted to wrap my arms around him too.

But I understood that he needed to have complete control of this situation so I gave it all to him.

Once my cock was fully sheathed inside him, we both moaned as his head turned sideways to mine and took my lips to his in a passionate, wet, deep kiss.

I gripped onto the headboard as I slowly started coming up to meet his hips rolling down onto me.

When we weren't kissing…we were watching. I watched as his hand slid down and wrapped around his own length, slowly pumping himself in time to us. The sight of him above me…seeing my cock slide in and out of his pretty ass…watching his fingers turn and twist up and down his cock…his shallow breathing as he was coming to the edge …it was quickly becoming too much and I knew I was gonna cum soon.

Just moments later, I felt his ass clench around me and watched as he came in thick white spurts across his stomach and chest…his mouth opened and eyes closed as he moaned out my name.

That's all it took for my eyes to clamp shut and my cock to erupt deep inside of him while I moaned his name softly over and over again.

I was panting as he collapsed completely against my chest and I just enjoyed the warmth of his body above me as I kept my eyes shut and tried to regain my breathing.

A few minutes later, I whispered, "Thank you, Eddie…that was amazing, baby…"

He didn't respond. My eyes opened and looked in the mirror above me to see my beautiful bronze haired boy…fast asleep.

Now this normally isn't a problem but since I was still cuffed…yeah, big fuckin problem.

My cock had softened and slipped out of him so I bucked my hips up and grunted, "Edward…baby, wake up…"

The lil' fucker just curls to his side while still on top of me and cuddles to my chest.

I chuckle and do it again but speak a little louder, "Eddie! Dude, I'm still handcuffed!"

He snorts and sucks in a breath as his head lifts and his hazy eyes look around for a second in confusion.

I start laughing now as he smiles sheepishly and turns bright red, "Um…sorry, Jay."

He reaches over and grabs some keys from the nightstand before undoing the cuffs and setting me free.

He frowns a little at the red rings around my wrist and I smile, "Don't even think about feelin bad for that, Eddie…you replaced some very bad memories of these red rings…with a fuckin awesome memory…so thank you, babe."

He smiled now and kisses my wrists, "Thank you, Jay. I love you."

I finally wrap my arms around him and tell him I love him too. He cuddles up to me and whispers, "Let's take a nap…then we can grocery shop and grab some dinner when we wake up, okay?"

I smile, "Grocery shop? You don't expect me to cook, do you?"

He smiles against my chest, "I could go for a honey covered blondie…"

I smile now as I feel my eyes getting heavy, "Oh…well, okay…we'll go grocery shoppin…sweet dreams, darlin…"

I hear him whisper, "Good night, babe."

And my last thoughts before I drift into an exhausted and well satisfied sleep…

_This is only the beginning of your summer, Jay…you too Pierre…lucky, lucky boy…_


	38. Chapter 38

**Big thanks to my girl Yaritza Perez for helping with the Spanish translation in this chapter! I appreciate it girlie!**

**Just a reminder about the Twilighted thread for LL if you guys wanna discuss anything…**

**www(dot)twilighted(dot)net(slash)forum(slash)viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9952&p=1019221p1019221**

**It's also on my profile.**

**Also, my girl, Maria, requested a little Ghettosper and Geekward…so I tweaked her idea a bit and hope that ya'll like it!**

**Eddie's POV**

I opened my eyes, sleepily, and smiled as I felt him shift underneath me. I looked down to see him scratching his balls in his sleep and I chuckled because he was beautiful even when he did that.

I laid there for awhile, watching him as he mumbled softly about buffalo wings and his dick twitched.

Watching Jasper sleep was one of my favorite things to do. He was funny as he dreamt and mumbled…and sometimes he was insanely sexy as he moaned and reached for his hard erection.

Whatever he did, he was always simply breathtaking.

I brushed the golden curls away from his face so I could revel in his perfection. The boy had good reason to be so damn cocky. I brushed my fingertips down his jaw and noticed that it felt a little scratchier. He was starting to get facial hair.

That made my dick twitch a little.

I reached up and ran my fingers down my own chin…smooth as a baby's bottom. I sighed heavily wondering if I would ever catch up to him. Even though we were the same age, he always seemed so much older than me…more mature.

He was still a few inches taller than me and I know he outweighed me. The fear settled in as my mind wandered. I wondered if he would ever want someone who was as mature as he was…someone who mirrored his confidence and coolness. Is coolness a word? Hell, I don't know but I understood what it meant.

Jay was the coolest boy I had ever known. I smiled as I thought back to the first time I met him and how my mind reeled at the fact that he was actually speaking to me. This perfect, beautiful, cool boy…wanted to be my friend. It was more than I ever imagined just to have him as a friend…the thought of ever losing him as a friend or lover sent waves of panic through me.

The thought that when this summer was over, he may have to leave again, only helped to make my stomach knot more. Luckily, before I had time to throw myself into a full blown panic attack, his eyes opened and I was graced with that perfect dimpled grin.

Immediately, my nerves settled even as my heart raced…but it raced for different reasons now.

"You been awake long, darlin?"

I shook my head as I smiled down at him, "No, Jay…not long. You want to take a shower before we go shopping? I thought maybe we could stop for some pizza and buffalo wings?"

He chuckled as he sat up and stretched, "Talkin in my sleep again, huh?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

We both got out of bed and hopped in the shower. We took our time and washed each other as we kissed and caressed. I loved shower time with Jay.

Once we got out of the shower, he threw on a pair of faded jeans that hugged his ass in all the right places. They were worn very badly and it amazed me how good he could look without even really putting any effort into it.

He pulled on a gray t-shirt and as he was pulling on his shoes, he smiled at me, "I'm gonna step out back and have a smoke while you're gettin ready, okay?"

I smiled at him before glaring at the image in the mirror, "Okay, Jay."

I still didn't know what he saw in me. He was the beautiful one with his golden curls and baby blue eyes…all sunshine and ethereal magnificence.

I sighed as I tugged at my hair, willing it to do something…anything. I looked at my skin…no longer completely pale but marked with rosy patches as I figured out that tanning was not in my genes.

I stood and looked at my body with only the towel wrapped around me. My body paled significantly with Jasper's. I was shorter, skinnier…I didn't have as much tone and definition as he had. His arms were something to behold and his stomach and abs were rock hard but not overly obnoxious like Em's. He was naturally beautiful.

Trying to escape the emo thoughts in my head, I shook it for good measure and left the bathroom to get ready.

When I was finished dressing, I walked out back to find Jay sitting in a patio chair, watching the moon out over the water.

He seemed lost in it and I took a moment to appreciate him fully. The soft glow of the moonlight played along the honey highlights in his hair…his pink, plump lips wrapping around the end of that lucky cigarette before parting and watching the hazy white smoke billow into the air.

I licked my lips and didn't notice as a soft sigh left my throat…he noticed though as his eyes snapped to mine. They were dark…a sea of navy and gray. I loved how his eyes would tend to match his shirt at times…or they would mirror his mood. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking about but the words escaped me as his eyes captured me with their intensity.

A moment later, he was stubbing out his cigarette and stalking over to me…with dangerous grace and sinful beauty that made my heart beat a little harder.

Before I could catch my breath, I was being pushed against the patio door while his mouth melted into mine. He tasted like honey and smoke…it doesn't sound nearly as intoxicating as it actually is.

I felt my leg hitch around his waist, apparently having a mind of its own.

He kissed me thoroughly and hungrily…savagely claiming me as his own as he dominated me.

I smiled on the inside because I knew what he was doing…reclaiming his power and control. After giving it all to me earlier, he was claiming what was rightfully his…me.

When I felt like my lungs might burst and my cock might break the zipper on my jeans, he pulled away, breathless and beautiful.

He smiled as he kissed me once more, a soft peck on the lips, before pulling away and rasping out, "Ready?"

A little dazed and confused still, I simply nodded as he laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me along behind him as we left.

He hopped in the driver's seat and smiled, "So, ya wanna eat first then go to, like, Wal-Mart or somethin?"

I shrugged, "Sure."

After driving through the back roads a few minutes, we hit a main road filled with restaurants, clubs, and stores. We chatted a little about stupid things as we drove, keeping each other happy and laughing.

I saw his eyes light up and he smiled, "Want Mexican food instead? There's a restaurant up here that looks good…"

I smiled back, "Sure, that's fine with me."

A minute later, we were parking at the restaurant and walking in. I looked around at the rundown place and nudged Jay, "Um, are you sure this place will be any good? It looks kind of…"

He smirked at me, "Yeah, man, these hole in the wall joints always have the best food. Trust me, babe."

I nodded with a minimal amount of hesitation.

A Hispanic woman, maybe in her thirties, walked out and smiled as she grabbed some menus and said something that I couldn't understand. I felt a twinge of jealousy at the way she looked at my boyfriend…the whore was eye fucking him right in front of me!

I crossed my arms and scowled at Jasper as he flashed her that dimpled grin and started speaking back to her in Spanish.

As the words rolled off his wicked tongue, I willed my dick to stop reacting when I was so valiantly trying to be pissed.

I followed along behind them and sat down in the booth with an exasperated huff as they chatted like old friends. He slid in across from me and totally ignored me as he pulled out his wallet and flashed her his ID.

I was a little confused but about to flip my lid as she blushed and started giggling. Finally, he acknowledged my existence with that stupid sexy dimpled smirk, "What'cha wanna drink, babe?"

I scowled again and muttered, "Whatever."

He turned back to Senorita Hoe-Bag and spoke again. She giggled again as I wanted to scream…

_Go do your fucking job, Bimbo and leave my man alone!_

A minute later she turned and walked away. Jasper turned those stupid pretty blue eyes to me and reached out his hand, "Aww, darlin…don't be mad at me. I was just bein' friendly."

I rolled my eyes and looked away as I mumbled, "Friendly my ass…"

Now he reached both hands across the table and whispered, "C'mon, baby boy…you know I only want you. I love you, Eddie…please look at me."

I tried to calm myself down and keep in mind that the love of my life, was a natural born flirt. He probably didn't even realize he was flirting…

I turned and looked at him with furrowed brows as I whispered back harshly, "Do you even realize how hard you were flirting with that…woman?"

The asshole chuckled a little and leaned back in his seat with a smug smile on his face, "Yup."

Now my blood was boiling and I was about to go off on him when the skank returned with our drinks. She placed my soda on the table and I did a double take as she put a bottle of Corona with a lime in front of Jay.

I was taken aback and the second she left, I leaned across the table and whispered, "What the hell? She gave you beer? You're only 16...you even showed her your ID."

The cocky bastard gave me that devious little smirk again that shot straight to my traitorous cock. He picked up the bottle and winked, "I can be very charmin' when I wanna be, Sugar."

He took a long pull from the beer as I sat there dumbfounded.

Eventually I snapped out of it and responded, "You flirted with her because you wanted beer?"

He shrugged, "I didn't mean to piss ya off, Eddie…but yeah, I really wanted a beer. C'mon, babe…ya know I'm yours so come on over here and claim me, pretty boy."

He threw his free arm up on the back of the booth and gestured to the spot next to him. I wanted to stay mad, I really did…but those damn dimples called to me and before I even knew what I was doing, I was sitting next to him.

I didn't look at him though as I kept my arms firmly crossed over my chest in defiance.

I felt his soft curls against my cheek and then his smooth lips on my neck as he whispered, "You can't stay mad at me, Eddie…"

I gulped as his warm lips pressed against my neck and that silky tongue flicked out. I suppressed a moan as he sucked gently and whispered, "You taste so good…"

I cleared my throat but it didn't help as I rasped a little breathlessly, "B-but…you showed her your ID…she knows you're only 16..."

He chuckled while his lips and tongue continued working my neck, "My ID says 18, baby…and I was just showin it to her so her boss could see that she carded me…"

I couldn't stop the soft moan now as he bit down at the juncture of my neck and shoulder, "B-b-but…that's illegal…what if…"

I couldn't think clearly at all as his hand slid in-between my legs and rubbed my inner thighs. I clenched my eyes shut so I wouldn't jump on top of him and he chuckled again as I felt his fingers pulling my chin towards him. I felt his strong velvet lips brush against mine as he whispered, "But I thought you liked bad boys, baby…there ain't ever been a boy as bad as me…"

Then his hand wrapped around my hard cock through the denim of my jeans and squeezed lightly.

I groaned and opened my mouth to his.

Fire coursed through my veins…especially the one in my cock and I completely forgot what I had been so upset about.

That was until I heard a small gasp and I broke free from my Jasper induced haze, panting and breathless to see the wide shocked eyes of the waitress staring at us.

I gulped and Jasper just chuckled a little and smiled at her as he spoke those damn Spanish words that didn't help the situation in my jeans.

I watched him work his magic as I sat there still completely dumbfounded.

A minute later she was giggling and blushing again. Jay nudged me and whispered, "She thinks you're cute…you wanna beer? I'm sure I can get her to give you one…"

I shook my head and cleared my raspy throat, "Um, no…I'm good with my Coke, thanks."

He shrugged and asked, "Well, what do ya wanna eat, babe?"

I just played with the straw wrapper in my hands as I looked down at the table. I mumbled, "Um…I don't care, you know what I like…"

I was feeling very self conscious because I had no idea what they were talking about and even though the restaurant was relatively empty, I felt like people were staring.

A minute later, she had taken the order and left.

I turned to Jay and whispered, "What did you guys talk about?"

He smirked and whispered, "Apparently she has a thing for younger men…I told her we were into threesomes with older chicks, hell, we may not even have to pay."

I scowled again, "How could you tell her that? Do you really want her?"

He grimaced, "Fuck no, Edward! I was just tryin to get her to serve me alcohol! I, sure as fuck, ain't ever gonna share you! Seriously, babe…do you really think I could ever want anyone but you? "

I looked down at the table again and shrugged.

He pulled my chin up and his baby blue eyes gazed into mine, "Eddie…I'm sorry, okay. I'll stop flirtin' right now. I didn't think you'd take it so seriously…I mean, you and me…we could get practically anything we wanted if we put our heads together. Just like Tony Montana…the world is ours."

I furrowed my brows and muttered, "Who's he? Some guy back in Texas?"

He started laughing now and became animated, "You don't know who Tony Mon-fucking-tana is? Scarface? Al Pacino? Really?"

I shrugged again, "I know who Al Pacino is. Was that a movie he played in or something?"

He smiled, "Dude! We are so buying Scarface tonight! You gotta watch that shit! You're all into bad boys and shit…Tony Montana is the ultimate bad guy! I can't believe you haven't seen it!"

I mumbled as the heat rose in my cheeks, "My parents wouldn't really let me watch stuff like that."

The waitress came back now and placed our food in front of us with a wink and my face burned hotter. Jasper spoke to her again and even though I ached to know what he said as the twinge of jealousy pulled at me…my dick still responded as it quickly hardened again.

His hand was on my thigh and when he felt it, he looked over at me with a smirk. Once the hussy left again, I started picking at my steak fajitas as he rubbed my thigh.

He leaned over and whispered with his lips grazing my ear, "Te amo, Edward. Amo la forma que te pones colorado cuando te apeno. Amo la forma que te pones atrevido cuando te caliento. Adoro que tu pito sabe exactamente lo que estoy diciendo ahora mismo. Cuando llegamos a la casa, te voy a coger tan duro que no vas a conocer to propio nombre... pero tienes que saber esto ... Yo voy a pasar todo los dias amando todo de ti, siempre."

I shuddered as my cock grew impossibly harder at his seductive Spanish words. I gulped and whispered, "What did you say?"

He chuckled softly and kissed my cheek before pulling away, "Pedro Cockriguez knew exactly what I was sayin."

Now I started laughing as I turned and looked at him drinking the last of his beer, "Pedro? Really?"

He shrugged, "Hey if I gotta foreign cock named Pierre…you totally have a Pedro."

I just smiled and shook my head, "I better go to the other side of the booth before we end up really giving that woman a show."

I got up and slid in across from him. I cleared my throat and tried to change the subject because you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. I secretly wondered if Jay and I would always be this hot for each other or if it was just teenage hormones. But I resigned myself to believe that it would always be like this between us.

"So, um…how'd you learn Spanish so well?"

He took a breath and started playing with the label on the beer bottle, "Well, I lived all over Texas until I was nine and there's a lot of Hispanics there so I picked some up here and there…but I guess I learned most of it when I was locked up."

I took a sip of my Coke and furrowed my brows, "Did you take a class or something?"

He laughed and shook his head, "Fuck no! There was this guy…this little pudgy kid named Jose. He was always getting beat up and shit 'fore I got there. Anyway, we were in the same dorm…they called them dorms but they were really just small rooms with about six beds each. So, he was always getting picked on but I thought he was kinda cool…y'know, smart and shit. I told him I'd protect him if he taught me Spanish."

I smiled, he was such a sweetheart.

"So, did you guys stay friends at all after you left?"

He shook his head with another devious smirk, "Nope."

I was curious about his expression and asked, "Why?"

He laughed, "Well, my mama never came to visit me when I was locked up and he felt kinda bad for me. So, on visiting day, he introduced me to his family and let me sit with them…anyway, long story short…I talked his older sister into givin' me head in the bathroom and he found out about it."

_God he's such an asshole..._

I choked a little on my Coke and rolled my eyes as I coughed, "I should have never asked."

We talked a little more as we ate and dinner was really great. Jay was right, the food was incredible. The waitress flirted excessively and even brought Jay two more beers, on the house, but he wouldn't even look at her now as he spoke…his eyes never left mine.

Once we were finished, he pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the table and grabbed my hand as we left.

He handed me the keys and figured I should drive since he had been drinking so we jumped in the car and took off again.

A few minutes later we pulled into the massive parking lot at Wal-Mart and I gulped, "Wow…this place is, um…really big."

He looked at me now with a curious expression, "You've _never _been to Wal-Mart?"

I shook my head as we exited the car, "Um, no. There isn't one in Forks and I never went grocery shopping or anything with my mom."

He laughed as he took my hand, "I don't think I've ever met anyone who hasn't been in Wal-Mart before."

I blushed again as we began walking up to the doors. It was loud and crowded and I felt extremely uncomfortable being with so many people in one building.

He noticed my hesitation and let go of my hand. He nudged me with his shoulder, "Would it make you more comfortable if we just act like friends in here?"

I took a deep breath and shook my head as I grabbed his hand again, "No, I'm okay, Jay. It's just a little…overwhelming."

He smiled, "Shit, babe…I'm ghetto…Wal-Mart's like a second fuckin home to me!"

I started laughing now with him and my nerves settled down exponentially. We grabbed a cart and began grocery shopping. I really wanted to cook for him and was looking forward to surprising him with some of his down-home favorites that I had practiced while we were apart.

Shopping with Jasper was a lot of fun. He went into a whole spiel about how you had to get the Cap'n Crunch _with _crunch berries or it just wasn't worth it…I was a Frosted Flakes kind of guy. I laughed when he grabbed bottle after bottle of honey with a wink and a smile. We loaded up on junk food but I had made a mental list of the things I would need to cook some good food for him so I made sure to grab what I needed.

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "You plannin' on cookin' cuz I'm on vacation, darlin?"

I flashed him my crooked grin, "I'm planning a lot of things, Jay."

Once we had gone through the grocery part, we went over to the movies because he was insistent that I watch Scarface…I didn't know what the big deal was but I agreed since he seemed so excited.

But then I found something that excited me, "Hey, look…they have the Lord of the Rings trilogy box set!"

He smirked, "Lord of the Rings, huh?"

I nodded vigorously, "Yes! Lord of the Rings is awesome! I tried to get you to watch the first one with me a couple years ago but you fell asleep, like, ten minutes into it. Please, Jay…please watch them with me…"

I stuck out my bottom lip and put on a full pout as he rolled his eyes and laughed, "Just cuz you're all cute and shit, don't mean I can't say no to you, Eddie…"

I leaned forward and brushed my pouty lip against his and whispered, "But you never say no to me, Jay…" as I looked up at him through my lashes with wide hopeful eyes.

He groaned playfully as his arms wrapped around my waist, "Ugh…fine, you adorable little fucker but I get to pick out a couple more movies too…"

I nodded and grinned triumphantly, "Okay, Jay. Who knows, you have a thing for geeks…maybe the hobbits will do it for you."

He laughed and kissed me once more before pulling away and looking through the movies, "Are the hobbits good lookin?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, not really my type…Aragorn's pretty hot…ooohhh and Legolas, he's an elf! He's super hot!"

He laughed and shook his head, "I'm in love with a geek."

I scowled, "Legolas is played by Orlando Bloom…and I am not a geek."

He smiled over at me, "Orlando Bloom's pretty hot…" Then he walked up and put his arms around me, bringing me close to him as he kissed my lips softly, "You know how hot I think geeks are baby and _you_, Edward Cullen, my little geeky boyfriend, are super hot."

He kissed me thoroughly right there in the middle of Wal-Mart but everything else just faded away. When he finally released his lips from mine, he brushed his hand along my cheek and whispered, "You know I don't really think you're a geek, baby…you just like geeky movies."

I rolled my eyes and we both started laughing.

"Whatever, Jay, you loved the Harry Potter movies."

He smirked, "Fuck yeah, Harry was a hottie…that Cedric though, _man_, he was smokin' hot! Besides, you made me watch them!"

He was right, I did make him watch them with me but I had no idea how much of a boy crush he was going to get.

Finally he picked out a couple more movies…Goodfella's because he said that Joe Pesci and Robert Deniro were hilarious and that I would like Ray Liotta…and Blow because, and I quote, "Johnny fuckin Depp…nuff said."

I agreed. And besides, what gay boy wouldn't like a movie called Blow.

Once we made it out of Wal-Mart and back to the cabin, it was pretty late but we weren't tired because of our naps earlier. So, we finished putting the groceries away and decided to save the movies for a rainy night.

We were standing in the kitchen as Jay smiled at me, "So, what'cha wanna do now, Eddie?"

I reached up and ran my fingers through my messy hair and sighed, "Um…we probably should put our stuff away so we don't have to worry about it tomorrow…and it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to do some laundry…"

He smiled and rolled his eyes, "Geez, don't get too crazy, darlin…"

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, I mean I was just being practical.

He came over and put his arms around me, "You're right, babe…we should get that shit done so we can relax tomorrow. C'mon, we'll get unpacked and I'll do the laundry."

We walked to the bedroom and began piling our dirty clothes in one corner and putting our clean clothes away in the dresser. Em's dad had a few items in the closet but he obviously hadn't left much here because everything was pretty bare.

He finished before I did so he went to start the laundry as I finished unpacking my bags. When I pulled out the pair of dark framed glasses, I smiled as I remembered back to our little role playing session…well, I guess it was role play, I mean, I'm not really a geek, right?

Of course not…I have the most fuckhot boy in all of existence wrapped around my little finger…I am the coolest boy alive…

I giggled a little to myself at the insane idea that I had Jasper Whitlock completely and irrevocably in love with me…freaky little Edward Cullen.

I rocked.

I heard Jasper yell from downstairs, "Hey babe, I'm gonna go out back and have a smoke!"

I yelled back, "Okay, Jay, I'll be down in a few minutes!"

I ran my fingers along the black frames and smiled as I thought about some of the secret little fantasies I had…

_Being spanked…_

_Jay in handcuffs and on his knees in front of me…_

_Jay as the strict teacher and me as the shy student looking for intimate instruction…_

_Jay being all…ghetto…_

_Fuck, and now I'm sporting a semi…_

I wondered if he had read about any of those in my journal. I wondered how in-sync we were. I wondered if I walked outside right now and initiated one of my little fantasies if he would follow along without me having to say a word…

_Hmmm…**freaky **little Edward Cullen is certainly correct…_

And before I knew it, I was stripping off my clothes and redressing in a pair of khakis and a green polo shirt, tucked in. I walked to the mirror and slipped on the glasses with a blushing smile.

_If I wanted him to be all ghetto with me, the least I could do is be a little geeky for him…_

I took a deep breath and walked downstairs. One more deep breath before I slid open the patio door and stepped outside.

He was sitting on the brick patio ledge that overlooked the beach, shirtless with one leg up as the other dangled over the edge.

He took a drag of his cigarette before turning his head and spotting me. I was graced with that beautiful dimpled grin and a raised eyebrow.

I walked slowly over and cleared my throat as my cheeks went up in flames, "Um…you're, um…Jasper Whitlock, right?"

He looked down for a moment and chuckled softly before clearing his throat and looking back up at me with hooded midnight eyes and a sexy little snarl, "What the fuck you want, geek?"

_Yay! He's playing along!_

A shiver ran through my body and I pulled my fingers through my hair, trying to keep my body from getting too excited too quick.

"Um, well I…uh…I was wondering if you might h-help me with um, something?"

He took another drag from his cigarette as he eyed me up and down, taking his time to lazily look over every inch of me.

His voice was harsh and dominating and so fucking sexy, "Why the fuck would I help you?"

I stared at the ground and mumbled, "P-please…I really need your help…"

He turned towards me now as both legs hung off the ledge as he faced me, "Hmm…alright, what do ya want and what are ya gonna give me in return for helpin' ya out?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets as I continued staring at the ground beneath my feet, "Um…I want to be…um, cool, y'know? I'm tired of everyone picking on me…and I'll, um…I can pay you, if you want…"

He rolled his eyes and laughed harshly before jumping off the ledge and stalking towards me as he backed me up against the wall behind me, "Look here ya little spoiled rich boy…ya wanna know how to crack up cars, I can help…ya wanna know how to roll a decent blunt, I can help…ya wanna know how to break a guy's jaw, I can help with that too…but I ain't gonna help some geeky little brat who waves around his fuckin money …that's what's wrong with you little rich boys, ya think you can buy anything you want…well I got news for you, I may be poor white trash but I got my fuckin pride…"

He had me pinned now as his darkened eyes stared into mine. I gulped and looked down, "P-please…I'll do anything…"

He raised an eyebrow as he brushed his hand along my khaki covered cock, "Anything, huh?"

I nodded vigorously as my cock twitched beneath his feather touches, "Yes, anything."

He leaned into my ear and whispered, "What's your name, boy?"

I gulped again, "Uh…Edward…"

His warm breath against my cheek and neck were driving me crazy as he whispered again, "Are you a virgin, Edward?"

My whole face was on fire as I really got into character, "Um, y-yes…"

I trembled as he ran that steel stud in his tongue along my jaw and whispered, "Ya want me to help you?"

I nodded again.

He pulled away and took my chin in his hand as he held my face to look at him, "I'm gonna fuck you, Edward."

He didn't ask…he was telling me and I responded with a soft groan.

He pulled away and leaned against the ledge as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. He cocked his head and looked at me like a predator as he snarled, "Get on your fuckin knees, boy!"

I immediately fell to my knees in front of him as I kept my eyes on his. He took a drag and brought one hand down to brush his finger across my bottom lip as he spoke, "These pretty red lips were made for suckin dick…so get to it."

He leaned back against the ledge as I reached up shakily (and happily) as I unbuttoned and unzipped his faded jeans.

The concrete beneath my knees hurt a little but I was so turned on that I didn't care. I would, however, probably need to replace my khakis at some point in the near future.

Once his jeans were opened, I reached my hand in and felt his hot flesh beneath my fingertips. I grabbed his long, hard cock and pulled it out, mesmerized by the pearl of creamy liquid gathered at the tip.

I looked up at him through my dark frames and he gazed down at me as the white smoke billowed out from those plump pink lips.

I licked my own and tentatively flicked out my tongue to taste his sweet nectar. And then his fingers were twisted in my hair, pushing my head down so that I took him deep down my throat as he moaned, "Take all that dick down your throat, boy…"

He guided my motions as he forcefully guided my mouth up and down his cock, rough and fast until I couldn't take it anymore and had to give myself some relief.

I reached down and undid my pants but the moment I pushed the zipper down, he was yanking my head back by my hair. I gasped as I looked up at him with swollen lips and ragged breaths.

He growled, "Did I fuckin say you could touch yourself, boy?"

I tried to shake my head but his fingers tightened more and he growled again, "Fuckin answer me!"

My body shuddered as I rasped out, "N-no, sir…"

He let go of my hair and grabbed my chin again, yanking me up to my feet to look in his eyes, "Just for that shit…you'll come from me fuckin that tight little ass of yours or you won't come at all…"

I nodded as my whole body broke out in goose bumps. I feared that I might come before we even got that far.

I was trembling furiously now…so turned on that I could barely stand it.

His fingers twisted in my hair again but softer this time as he pulled me close to him and whispered in my ear, "You okay, baby? I'm not hurtin' you, am I?"

I chuckled as my body shivered again, "No, Jay…just…God, don't stop…please…"

He laughed softly now in my ear before taking a deep breath and pulling back. His eyes narrowed and he was into character again, "I want you naked and on your fuckin knees…I'll be right back. If you so much as even think about touchin' that pretty cock of yours…I will know and I guaran-fuckin-tee you…it ain't gonna be pretty."

With that, he pulled away and nearly ran into the house, leaving me alone on the patio. I was shaking so badly that I had trouble removing my clothes but finally managed to pull them all off. The cool breeze only added to the intense tingling that coursed through my body and the only light that shown was the pale moonlight from up above the water and the greenish blue lights from the pool.

I lowered myself to my knees and the cold concrete was hard beneath me.

A moment later, he returned with a blanket and a bottle of lube. He laid out the blanket in front of me and panted now as he tore off his clothes with vigor as he snarled, "Get on your hands and knees!"

I gulped because I didn't know if I was ready for that yet. He must've seen the trepidation in my eyes because he whispered as he got on his knees behind me and started kissing and sucking my neck from behind, "Trust me, Eddie."

And I did trust him, so I slowly leaned forward and positioned myself on all fours with him behind me.

I gasped when I felt his teeth dig into the soft flesh of my ass cheek, and then I moaned loudly I felt the wet tip of his tongue swirling around my hole. One of his hands wrapped around me from behind and started stroking my cock with hard firm pumps while his tongue caused my back to arch and me to push back into it for more.

His ragged breathing and my powerful moans were the only things I heard and I was caught completely off guard when a lubed up finger replaced his tongue and slipped inside of me.

My head was hanging down and my eyes were squeezed shut as the actions were almost to intense for me. I pushed back into his finger and soon a second one joined in and began stretching me out for him.

A few minutes later, his hand let go of my cock and wrapped around my waist, pulling me up on my knees with my back flush against his chest.

My eyes were still shut tight as I felt his fingers leave me and the tip of his cock against my entrance.

I gulped and braced myself as I silently prayed that I could get through this without looking into his eyes for reassurance and comfort.

His warm soft lips pressed against my neck and whispered, "Open your eyes, baby boy…"

I swallowed again and lifted my eyes…

I gasped when I saw our reflection in the glass patio doors in front of me, the light from the pool illuminating our figures clearly.

His dimpled smile was met with my own crooked grin as he whispered, "Eyes on me, Eddie…"

My smile quickly faded with a soft moan but my eyes stayed on his through the reflection as he began pushing his self inside of me. His hard wet cock slid in slowly, giving me time to adjust until I felt his strong hipbones against my ass.

His arm stayed around my waist, keeping me steady as he began pulling out and pushing back in, a little harder and faster with each thrust.

His other hand wrapped around my cock and stroked me in time with him. He felt so good, buried deep inside of me and soon I was pushing roughly back into him, wanting more and more…I could never get enough.

His warm breaths were washing against my neck and his soft moans were bringing me close to the edge quickly.

But then, when he pushed me down, back to my hands and knees as his fingers dug into my hips and his cock brushed my prostate over and over again…my eyes closed again while my head dropped down low.

His fingers then twined in my hair again, yanking my head back up as he growled, "I said keep your motherfuckin eyes on me! Enough of this sweet shit, boy…I'm about to fuck the ever lovin' daylights out of ya!"

My eyes snapped open and was met with deep pools of midnight blue staring back at me. His pink lips were pulled into that sinful sexy snarl as he pulled his big cock almost all the way out before slamming back into me with a fierce growl.

My mouth hung open now as I groaned and grunted in ecstasy…but my eyes never left his.

My own hard cock was bouncing feverishly and it didn't take long until I was screaming out his name and cumming in thick white streams across the blanket. A few more thrusts and Jay came deep inside of me, his warmth and wetness filling me so completely.

He collapsed on my back and I collapsed on my stomach as we both lay there, sweaty and gasping for air.

The last thing I vaguely remembered was Jay helping me up the stairs and into bed…but I could've already been dreaming at that point.

**A/N: For those of you who wondered what Jasper said to his baby boy back at the restaurant…here ya go : "I love you, Edward. I love the way you blush when I embarrass you...I love how incredibly bold you become when I make you hot...I love that your cock seems to know exactly what I'm saying right now…when I get you home, I'm going to fuck you so hard that you won't even know your own name…but know this…I will spend every day of forever loving ****everything ****about you****…"**


	39. Chapter 39

**I need to give a huge thanks to everyone that bid on my stories for the Fandom Gives Back auction. My girl, Meikela, won the outtake of LL (you may know her, she writes a little story called Southern Charm, I know ya'll are reading it…) And leigh80 won the one shot. I'm super excited about writing these and hopefully these lovely ladies will let me post them once they're finished so make sure to author alert me if you're interested. Thanks girls!**

**And…my chick, Maria (Philomena) posted a beautiful o/s called The Breast Pocket Letter. It's E/J and it's heartbreaking and gorgeous and bittersweet and just…ugh…I cried both times I read it…in a good way. Check it out, it's in my faves!**

**Playlist: You May Be Right by Billy Joel (I love this song…I'm old so…what-the fuck-ever.) Born on the Bayou by Creedence Clearwater Revival (yeah I'm in one of those moods so…refer to my earlier statement.)**

**Jay's POV**

"Edward?" I was lying on his back, panting and sweating and feelin like the motherfuckin king of rockin the cock as he lay breathing heavily underneath me.

And in true Eddie style…he mumbled sleepily, "Hmm? Love you, Jay…"

I smiled against his neck and kissed it softly, "I love you too, Sugar. Let's get ya to bed, babe…"

I mustered every ounce of energy I had and pulled myself up off him. I stood up and grabbed his boxers to wipe us off, since I hadn't been wearin' any. Once we were cleaned up a little, I leaned down and wrapped my arms around him as I attempted to get him to his feet, "C'mon, baby boy…bed time."

He snorted and wrapped his arms around my neck and mumbled, "Not sleepy…"

And then he was snoring as he went limp in my arms. We did this for awhile as I helped him get up the stairs and into the bed. Once he was sleeping soundly, I went back outside to smoke a cigarette and grab our blanket and clothes and shit.

Then I finished up the laundry I had going and threw the blanket in the wash. I was tuckered out after that so I went upstairs and curled up behind my boy before I passed the fuck out.

In the mornin' I woke up to the smell of somethin' really damn good. I opened an eye and mumbled, "Eddie?"

I turned and looked and the bed was empty. I groaned as I reached down and rubbed my mornin' wood for a minute cuz that shit always feels too good to just ignore. Then I pulled myself outta bed and went to take a piss and brush my teeth.

I walked back in the room and pulled on a pair of sweats and proceeded to scratch my grumbling belly as I staggered down the stairs in search of my bronze haired boy and whatever the fuck he was cookin'.

I could feel my mouth begin to water as the smell of biscuits and gravy, coffee and bacon filled my senses. Then I heard the voice of Billy Joel singing…

When I stepped in the kitchen, I had to put my hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh. Edward was covered in flour and stirring the gravy as he sang along to the song. He looked so cute, lost in his own little world, completely unaware that I was watchin' him.

I wondered if he would cook breakfast like this when we were older…

I knew this song, I remembered mama listenin' to it when I was young. I smiled as I snuck up behind him and grabbed his hand, turnin' him to me quickly as I began singin' and half-bouncin', half-dancin' around the kitchen with him in my arms.

I sang as he giggled and sang with me, "You may be right…I may be crazy…But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for…"

We were both laughin' and singin' until I backed him to the counter and lifted that pretty little ass up so he could sit on it. I fuckin wailed as I threw my head around, makin' my curls bounce wildly all over the place cuz I was feelin' real fuckin playful…that's right, _fuckin _playful…

I sang out loud as my curls covered my face, "Remember how I found you there, alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled…You were lonely for a man, I said take me as I am, 'Cause you might enjoy some madness for awhile…"I was surprised when he started bouncin' that crazy bronze hair around as he sang to me, "Now think of all the years you tried to, Find someone to satisfy you, I might be as crazy as you say…If I'm crazy then it's true, That it's all because of you, And you wouldn't want me any other way…"

We were both giggling like a couple of teenage dumb asses when the song ended…which was okay cuz I reckon we were.

I smiled at him as I pushed my wild ass curls from in front of my face, "Billy Joel, huh?"

He shrugged and brushed his bronze locks off of his forehead, "Um, mom likes it…I remember when they first adopted me…she would always play old music like this while she cooked. I thought it was very strange back then…I guess I kind of understand the appeal now."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me as he wrapped his legs around me and his arms around my neck, "So, your mama used to listen to Billy Joel…I guess you probably hadn't heard much music before that?"

He shook his head as his cheeks tinged pink, "No, not really. I heard a little in the hospital but it was always classical music…I guess that's why I enjoy classical so much even though it's kind of odd for a boy my age. That was actually the first "modern" song I had ever really heard. I thought it was weird but I sort of liked it too. That's when I began buying CD's all the time. I spent my allowance every week on new CD's, all kinds, trying to figure out what I liked the best."

He leaned down and kissed me softly and I returned it happily. Once he pulled away, he jumped off the counter and returned to stirring the gravy as he smiled over at me, "What kind of music do you remember growing up?"

I laughed, "Hang on…"

I went and grabbed my Ipod and plugged it in where Edward's had been. I smiled as I flipped through the play lists, "Well, my granny used to listen to nothin' but gospel…she was real religious and shit…but that night mama took me, this song was playin' on the radio…"

CCR filled the air and he laughed, "That's quite different from gospel music. Did you like it?"

"Fuck yeah…this is southern rock stoner music, babe…its in my motherfuckin' genes!"

I walked over and grabbed a biscuit from the pan they were on and popped it in my mouth right as he reached over and smacked my hand. I acted hurt as I furrowed my brows and rubbed my hand while trying to speak and chew at the same time, "Ugh…wufs af fer?"

He rolled his eyes, "That's for picking at the food while I'm cooking. You can wait until its finished."

I swallowed down the biscuit and made a pouty face at him, "You're mean."

He laughed, "What are you…two years old, Jay? You can just tuck that lip back in because it's not going to work on me."

I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and began kissing his neck softly. He hummed a little bit but stayed strong…until I started rubbing myself against his ass, slowly getting hard through the flimsy sweats.

He took a deep breath and set down the spatula, gripping onto the countertops in front of him. I whispered, "Is _this _workin', Eddie? Ya like the way I feel against your ass, don't ya? Ya like how hard you make me? You make me so fuckin' hot I can barely think straight…all I can think of is pullin' these pants down and lettin' them hit the floor as I bend you over and…"

And with that, I grabbed a couple pieces of bacon and took off running as I laughed my ass off. He gasped and looked over at me, weak kneed and wide eyed. Then he was throwin' an oven mitt at me while callin' me a dick.

I just shrugged as I ate my bacon with a triumphant smile, "Yep, I know I am, darlin'…"

To make amends for my bacon stealing, I decided to help him finish cooking breakfast. Before long, we were sitting down and eating. Too say that I was shocked by Edward's cookin' skills would've been a fuckin understatement.

I was on my second helping of biscuits and gravy when I asked, "How'd you learn to cook like this, babe? I never seen your mama make biscuits and gravy before…"

His cheeks tinged pink and he looked down as he ate, "I, um…kinda, sorta found this website that had…y'know, southern recipes and stuff on it. So, I thought I could maybe try them out and see if I could make anything. Do you, um…do you like it?"

I was kinda sorta really fuckin flattered.

I got up and sat in the chair next to him, instead of across from him, "Hey Eddie?"

He looked up at me now, "Yeah?"

I couldn't help the big goofy grin on my face, "That's like…all sweet and shit."

He turned even redder and tried to look away but I just smiled, "Thank you, Edward. That was really nice of you to try and learn how to cook stuff I like. You're an awesome boyfriend."

Finally I saw that crooked grin as his green eyes met mine, "Yeah?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

He smiled again as he looked at me, "You're welcome, Jasper."

When breakfast was done, we decided to leave the dishes for later cuz we were both so fuckin stuffed that we didn't wanna move.

I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and Eddie followed me, sitting across from me in a lawn chair.

"What do ya wanna do today, Edward?"

He looked out over the water. The sun was shining and it was already getting warm out, even though it was still pretty early.

"Let's go to the beach. I know it's not the ocean but I've never been to a beach before. It'll be fun."

He smiled over at me and I nodded, "Sure, babe. Anything you want."

I sometimes forgot just how much Eddie had missed growin' up. Some of those basic little things that most kids take for granted were complete mysteries for him. He was fuckin adorable when he got all excited about stuff like this.

So we hopped up and went to take showers. When we got out, we both threw on our swimmin' trunks and I grabbed a backpack and shoved some towels and shit in it.

I held his hand as we walked outside and down the back steps to the beach down below. He was practically vibrating with excitement and I found myself laughing as he hurried me up, "Come on, Jay…"

He whined, "Come on…let's get in the water…please…"

I smirked up at him as I laid our towels down on the ground and reached in the bag pulling out a small bottle, "We'll go in the water in just a minute, Eddie…let me put sun block on you first."

He blushed slightly as he plopped down, "Oh…um, okay."

I poured some of the lotion in my hands and rubbed it together before I started rubbing his shoulders and back, making sure to cover all of his exposed skin. He sighed, "I wish I could tan like you do…"

I smiled as I scooted up behind him, wrapping my arms around him and bringing his back flush with my chest. He laid his head back on my shoulder and closed his eyes contentedly as I started rubbing the lotion over his chest and along his arms, "Edward…I think you're kinda perfect just the way you are."

He smiled but didn't open his eyes, "So you're into geeks and albinos…"

I started laughing, "You are _not _albino…you're…y'know…like…fine porcelain or some shit…"

He opened his eyes only to roll them at me, "Whatever. I'm pasty."

I chuckled now as I leaned down and kissed his neck, "Yep, you're tasty alright…now stand up, babe…I need to get your legs."

His cheeks were scarlet as he glanced down, "Um…maybe you should give me a minute."

I looked down and saw him tenting his shorts. I smiled, "Yeah, maybe I should."

So he pulled away from me a little and turned around to face me. I took the opportunity to put some of the sun block on my fingers and rub it into his cheeks, onto his nose and forehead and chin…if his face got sunburned, I might not see that fuckhot blush very well and now I can't let that shit happen…

When I was done with his face, he could safely stand without worry of pokin' my eye out so I could do his legs. Once he was all covered in sun block, we headed out to the water.

There were a few people around but we were towards the end of the beach and not too many people wandered this far down. We had a blast playin' around in the water and on the beach. Edward had no fear in the water and I was lovin' watchin' him have fun.

After a few hours, we were getting hungry again and I was worried about him getting too much sun so we headed back up to the cabin. We stripped outta our wet trunks right there on the back deck and wrapped towels around our waists before heading into the kitchen.

He started to open the cabinet but I shooed him away, "Have a seat, babe. You made breakfast…I got this."

He smiled as he sat down on a stool at the bar and watched me pull out the stuff to make us some sandwiches. When the sandwiches were finished, I grabbed a bag of chips and two cans of Mountain Dew. I set everything down in front of him as I hopped on the bar stool next to him with a wink, "See, I can cook too."

He laughed and we started eating.

"So, Edward? Can I ask you somethin'?"

He smiled at me, "Of course, Jay, what's up?"

I took a breath and hoped I wouldn't hit any sore spots with him, "How did you learn to swim so good? I mean…I guess I'm just wondering who taught you."

He looked down for a second before clearing his throat and bringing his eyes back up to mine, "When I was first adopted, we lived in Chicago. Mom and dad had a house there with a pool in the back. I always found water soothing, even when I was very young, I remember that I loved taking baths and would do anything I could to stay in the water a little longer. I remember that I wanted to get in that pool so badly I could barely stand it…"

He chuckled a little and I smiled as he continued, "So I sat there and just watched it for months outside my bedroom window, trying to work up the courage to get in it. There was no chance in Hell that I was going to ask for help at that point, I wouldn't even speak to my dad...I was scared, distrustful. Eventually, I worked up the nerve to go out and sit by it. I did that for awhile. Then, one night, we were having an incredible thunderstorm…and you know how much I love thunderstorms…"

I just nodded cuz I did know how much he loved them.

He smiled back, "Well, I ran outside to feel the rain on my skin…and I was standing by the pool when I just…_had _to jump in, y'know? So I did. Luckily it was the shallow end. Mom and dad were frantic when they found me but I didn't want to get out. They put on their swim suits and got in with me, right there in the middle of the thunderstorm. It was kinda…awesome. They're really good parents, I got very lucky."

I smiled, "Yeah, you did, they're really cool."

He nodded and we continued to eat and just shoot the shit.

When we were done, we decided to go ahead and clean up the kitchen, finally washing the breakfast dishes. We knew there was come cleaning people coming the next day but I didn't feel right having people clean up after me. Besides, it was kinda like practice for when we had our own place after graduation.

Once all that was done, we ended up in the game room playing Xbox and talkin' hella shit to each other. I finally got him to play Grand Theft Auto and I was crackin the hell up every time he had to visit a hooker to get healed cuz he was bright red the whole time.

Then he schooled my ass in Lego Star Wars and I gave him some shit for bein' so good at it. He was quiet for a minute before he looked over at me with a slight blush on his cheeks, "Um, hey Jay?"

I took the opportunity while he was distracted to use my light saber to take his Lego head off, "What's up, babe?"

I heard his soft voice again, "Can I ask you something?"

I paused the game and put down the controller before facing him, "Of course, Eddie. Anything."

He smiled that sweet crooked smile and looked down for a second before bringing those pretty green eyes up to mine, "Um…can I…uh, I mean…I'd like to take you out tonight. Y'know, on a, um…a date. Would you want to?"

He was too fuckin cute for words. I smiled a big dimpled grin, "Why are you so nervous, Edward? It's not like I'm gonna say no."

He laughed a little and shrugged, "I don't know…it's just…it's our first, like…official car date and I want it to be nice. You made my first date really perfect and it's been a year so I think it's time I take you out."

I remembered back to our makeshift date that I put together in his back yard. It was cheesy as hell but I rocked that shit…I mean, I _did _get the boy, right?

"I'd like that, darlin'. Do you already have it planned out or…" I trailed off as his cheeks turned darker.

"Um, yeah…I thought I could take you out to dinner. I saw a place that looked really nice when we drove into town. Then I thought maybe a movie or something. Nothing too crazy just…kinda normal. Is that okay?"

I smiled, "Yeah, that sounds good, Eddie. I guess I should go get ready."

He nodded and we turned off the game and made our way upstairs. While he was in the shower I started going through my clothes, tryin' to find something that was half way nice…most of my clothes were just lounging clothes.

I swear I didn't own one goddamn pair of jeans that didn't have holes in them. I really needed to go shopping…I didn't have a fuckin thing to wear. Yeah that may be girlie as fuck but whatever, I _am _gay so…ya know what, I don't have to explain myself, I'm motherfuckin Jay…

As I was lookin' over my sad collection of t-shirts and jeans, the bathroom door swung open and Edward walked out wrapped in a towel. I was momentarily pulled away from my clothing dilemma and transfixed on the bronze haired Adonis in front of me.

He was too fuckin perfect for words and I couldn't help but trail my eyes lazily over every inch of exposed flesh, silently willing that goddamn towel to come loose and fall…

He smiled and blushed, "Um, mom had bought you some, um…dressier clothes. I hung them in the closet if you want to look through them but it's okay if you just want to wear jeans and a t-shirt, Jay. You always look beautiful no matter what you wear."

It was my turn to blush a little now, the little fucker callin' me beautiful shouldn't be able to have that kind of affect on me but…fuck it, I fuckin _love _when he calls me beautiful.

I went to the closet and started looking through shit. I smiled when I saw the baby blue dress shirt. Anytime Esme bought me a shirt, it was always some variation of blue…she always said they made my eyes 'pop.' Whatever the hell that means…

I pulled it out and found a pair of dark gray, almost black pants that she picked out as well. Esme had awesome taste. Edward had went into the downstairs bathroom to get ready so I set my clothes on the bed and hopped in the shower quickly.

When I got out, I brushed my teeth and wondered if it would be too weird of me to put some gel in my hair. I looked at my damp curls and sighed cuz I really needed a fuckin haircut. My hair was past my chin now and a little too long for my taste. I decided to go for it and grabbed the gel, running just a little through my hair before washing my hands. I played around with it for a minute until I thought it looked good, a little more tame than usual but still fuckin wild and awesome…like me.

I chuckled a little to myself as I finished up in the bathroom and went to get dressed. Everything fit just right and I looked in the mirror as I rolled up the sleeves on the shirt, leaving a couple of buttons open at the top. I tucked it into my slacks and put on a dark belt and matching shoes (which Esme had also picked out for me.)

When I was finished, I felt a little strange but checkin' myself out in the mirror…I made this shit look good. I smiled as I thought to myself…

_Damn you clean up nice you sexy son of a bitch…_

I admired myself in the mirror for a minute before grabbing my wallet and headin' downstairs.

I walked into the living room and Edward was sittin' there lookin' like a picture of fuckin perfection. He looked over at me and I saw his eyes go wide as he slowly looked me over. I smirked a little cuz I loved the way he was lookin' at me right now. A low 'fuck' escaped his lips and I smiled, "Later, sugar…ya gotta take me out first."

He stood up and walked over to me and I got the chance to admire him. He looked incredible in black slacks and a charcoal gray long sleeved shirt with the sleeves pushed up like mine. His hair was wild but I smiled as I reached up and ran my fingers through it, noticing that he had tried to tame his as well.

He smiled and ducked his head down a little before lifting his eyes back to mine, "God, Jasper, you look…beautiful."

I blushed slightly again and smiled back, "Thanks, Edward…so do you. Remind me to call your mama later and thank her for the clothes. That was real sweet of her."

He nodded, "Yeah…we definitely need to thank her for those clothes…too bad they're going to be crumpled on the bedroom floor in the morning."

I laughed and he leaned into me, wrapping his fingers into my curls and gently pulling my lips down to his. He whispered, "Are you sure you don't just want to stay in?"

I smiled and shook my head as I brushed my lips against his, "Uh uh, babe…I look too damn good to be stuck in the house all night…maybe if you're a good boy, I'll let you have your way with me later."

He chuckled and kissed me softly again, "Regardless of if I'm good or bad…I _will _have my way with you later."

_Fuck, I loved it when he was confident…but I also love a fuckin challenge…_

I slipped my arms around his waist, holding him to me tight while my other hand slid down his backside and grabbed a handful of that porcelain fuckin ass and squeezing roughly.

He whimpered as his body was suddenly pressed against mine. He looked up at me through those full dark lashes with those big green eyes.

I smirked slightly and whispered, "We have our roles, Edward. You're the good boy…I'm the bad boy. Ya know the difference between us?"

He took a quick breath as his pink tongue dipped out over his cherry lips and then he breathed out, "No."

I slowly walked him backwards until his feet hit the bottom of the stairs. His breathing hitched as I continued to lie him down and wrapped his legs around me. I got on my knees between him and rubbed my hard cock against his in slow teasing soft circles. I started kissing his neck as I whispered, "Good boys go to Heaven…bad boys take you there…"

He groaned loudly as his head fell back against the stair and I continued sucking and nipping at his neck while grinding against him.

A minute later I pulled away and smiled as I tried to catch my breath, "I can take you to Heaven later, baby…right now, ya gotta take my fine ass out to dinner."

He groaned as he panted against the stairwell and then he laughed breathlessly, "You're such an asshole…"

I held out my hand to help him up and laughed as he took it, "I know, sugar…it's really a good thing that I'm so fuckin' hot."

We took a minute to try and will our cocks down…foreign fuckin horny bastards…

And then we finally headed out for the night.

He drove and we talked for a little while about stupid shit. We pulled into a nice looking French restaurant and he smiled over at me, "Have you ever had French food?"

I teased him a little, "Well, I've had French fries and French toast…"

He rolled his eyes, "So I take that as a 'no.' I've never had it before either so hopefully we'll like it."

We made our way into the place and immediately I felt a little uncomfortable. I had never been to a nice restaurant like this before and I felt like I had a big bright neon sign above my head, blaring out 'Poor White Trash'.

For the first time ever, I kinda hid behind Edward a little bit as he spoke to the guy about getting us a table.

The guy said for us to follow him and Edward turned and looked at me a little confused by my reaction. I just smiled nervously and he smiled back brilliantly as he twined his fingers with mine and whispered, "Relax, Jay."

I took a breath and walked beside him hand-in-hand to the table. The greeter guy smiled at us as we sat down and handed us menus before leaving. A minute later the waiter walked over to us and smiled at Edward. They began speaking French to each other and I didn't think much of it until I saw the jackass wink. That's when I noticed…the guy was kinda hot and totally flirting with my motherfuckin boy!

The prick was probably only in his mid to late twenties with dishwater blonde hair and eyes the color of crap. Well, maybe not crap…probably more like chocolate…pools of melted chocolate…the fucker.

He leaned down over Edward and smiled while he pointed to something on the menu. I watched their interaction as Le Douchebag laughed and smiled and Eddie…_my _motherfuckin Eddie, was laughin' and blushin' like crazy.

But then…_then_, Pepe le Pew has the fuckin nerve to put his hand on the shoulder of my motherfuckin man!

_Oh hell no…_

All nervousness faded quickly as my natural instinct took over and I growled, "Hey Monsieur Dickhead? If I was you, I'd move my motherfuckin' hand quick cuz it's gonna be real fuckin hard to serve people when I rip off your arms and shove them up your…"

"Jay!" Eddie looked over at me wide eyed and deep red cheeks.

The fucker was scolding me with his eyes and, fuck me, if I didn't immediately feel bad. I grabbed the menu and glared at it but I kept my mouth shut.

He spoke to the waiter, "I'm sorry about that…can you give us a minute please?"

Francois Fuckhead left and Edward leaned over and pulled the menu down as he whispered, "Jasper Wayne Whitlock! What the hell was that?"

I cringed a little when the middle name came out, I hadn't even known that was my middle name for sixteen fuckin years so it was still a little weird…and kinda reminded me again of how fucked up I was.

He must've seen my reaction cuz he dropped his eyes down and pinched the bridge of his nose for a second before looking back up. He reached over and laced my fingers with his as he sighed, "I'm sorry, Jay…but can you tell me what that was all about?"

I squeezed his fingers a little and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry…I just…you were flirtin' with that guy. Why would you even do something like that in front of me? Ya gotta know how I'm gonna react."

He furrowed his brows in frustration, "Jasper, I wasn't flirting with anyone. He was just asking if this was our first date and telling me how lucky I was to have such a handsome boyfriend. I was telling him that this wasn't our first date…this was our…"

He trailed off as his whole face became beet red and I was considerably confused, "Our what, Edward?"

He looked down again and pulled his hand away, "I don't want to say."

I immediately reached over and grabbed his hand back, "Edward? Please tell me what's goin' on…"

He sighed and looked up at me, "It's um…God, I feel really stupid…it's not like it's a big deal or anything but um…exactly one year ago…you told me you thought you were in love with me. I guess I kind of took this as our…um…anniversary?"

I groaned as guilt swept hard through me, "Jesus, I _am _an asshole. I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to act like such an ass. I'm gonna be a perfect gentleman for the rest of the evenin'."

He chuckled a little, "It's really not a big deal, Jay…I just thought that…I don't know, with everything we've been through this year, I just think it's sort of amazing that we're here…still together…it's silly…"

I smiled, "It's not silly at all, babe, and it _is _a big deal. _Man_…it seems like we've been together forever…can you imagine what it's gonna feel like when we've been together fifty years?"

He returned a sweet crooked grin and squeezed my hand, "I imagine it all the time. Happy anniversary, Jay."

"Happy anniversary, Eddie."

The waiter walked back over and kept his distance from me a little as he spoke uncertainly, "Are you ready to order yet, sir?"

_God, I'm a dick…_

I hated that I had to do what I was about to do but it was time to be a fuckin man about it…

I pulled my hand from Edward's and extended it to the nervous looking waiter as I stood, "I'm really sorry for the way I spoke to you. Please accept my apology for the way I behaved. I'm Jasper…this is my boyfriend, Edward. It's nice to meet you."

_See…I can be a motherfuckin' gentleman…_

The nervous look melted away into a warm smile as he took my hand and gave it a small shake.

"I'm Joe. Thank you for the apology. I do understand your reaction to a degree…you boys are both quite lovely but about ten years too young for me. You see that gorgeous Maitre de behind you?"

He gestured over my shoulder and I turned to see an extremely hot older man with dark black hair and a scruffy chin looking over in our direction. He smiled sweetly before turning away and Joe sighed, "Yeah, I'm going home with him later so…would you like me to tell you gentlemen about today's specials?"

I sat back down and a short time later, Joe sat a plate in front of me that I eyed suspiciously. I had no idea what it was and it didn't look particularly good. I noticed Edward do the same thing and we both kinda laughed about it.

I picked up my fork and smiled, "On the count of three?"

He picked up his fork and smiled back, "On three…one…two…three…"

We both scooped up some food and took big bites. Our faces mirrored each other as we fought to chew the nasty shit up and swallow…grabbing our Coke's and chugging the stuff down.

Edward's face turned red and he sighed, "I'm sorry…you don't like it, do you?"

There's nothing I wouldn't do for my baby boy so I smiled and forced another bite down and tried my best not to grimace, "It's not that bad, babe…"

He raised an eyebrow at me in suspicion and smirked, "Really? Well, I was going to suggest that maybe we could go get a pizza but if you like this…"

I sighed in relief, "Fuck yeah, pizza sounds great."

Eddie went ahead and took care of the bill and we left the restaurant. I felt bad that we had left but he reassured me that it was no big deal and we had at least tried the food.

We went down the street to a pizza joint and had a great dinner. I gotta say though, eatin' buffalo wings in a dress shirt ain't fuckin easy.

When we were done, we made our way to the movie theater. Edward told me to pick any movie I wanted but I remembered him goin' on for a week about wantin' to see The Last Airbender cuz he thought the guy who played Sokka was "mouthwatering." So, I chose that and I had to admit, that Sokka guy was pretty fuckin fine and the movie was pretty cool in 3D.

When we were leaving the theater, it was still pretty early so we decided to take a walk down the strip and check shit out when we came across the motherfuckin jackpot…

"Look, Eddie! They got laser tag, video games, putt putt, and fuckin go karts! Can we go?"

He smiled at me cuz I was excited…I secretly loved putt putt.

We went in and spent the rest of the night goofin' off. It was a hell of a lot of fun. I kicked his ass in laser tag, which let me tell ya, ain't easy in fuckin dress pants.

But he got my ass in putt putt, it was his first time playin' so I chalked it up to beginner's luck. Go karts was pretty interesting cuz we just kept tryin' to run each other off the road and ended up crashing our cars and losing badly.

And we must've played every damn game they had in that place. Turns out, Edward is the motherfuckin king of the crane machine. He won me a baby Stewie from Family Guy and laughed, "What is it about this baby that you like so much?"

I shrugged as I held it and smiled, "I don't know…he's an evil little fucker…if I ever have a kid, he'll probably make Stewie look like a fuckin angel."

He smiled, "I think your child would definitely be an angel, Jay…like father, like son."

I gave him a quick kiss for bein' so sweet and we continued playin' around until the place closed for the night.

On the drive back, we talked some more about nothin' in particular but I loved every minute of it. Being with Edward was just like breathin'…it was fuckin easy and comfortable and just second nature. He was my best friend, corny I know, but true.

On the way back, I had a hankerin' for somethin' sweet so when we passed a pastry shop that was open 24 hours, I smiled, "Hey Eddie?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we get somethin' sweet 'fore we go back? I want chocolate."

He turned to me and laughed, "You have such a sweet tooth. It's after midnight, Jay…what would you like?"

I pointed to the shop, "Chocolate."

He smiled and turned into the shop. I was in fuckin' Heaven when we walked in. Yeah, I had a fuckin' soft spot for sweets.

I got a big ol' piece of Devil's food cake and he got a piece of strawberry shortcake. We decided to take it back to the house with us and eat there.

Once we got home, we kicked off our shoes before going outside on the back patio. We sat on the ledge, across from each other and giggled like idiots as we spoon fed one another.

When we were done, we just sat there awhile talkin and watchin the moon out over the lake.

"Hey Eddie? I wanted to ask you somethin' but if ya don't wanna talk about it, just tell me, okay?"

He looked over at me, "Okay, what's up?"

I sighed as I took a drag from my cigarette, "I know how much you love thunderstorms but…I don't understand why. Like I said, you don't have to talk about it, if you don't want but…it just seems like you wouldn't like them at all cuz of what happened to you."

He looked out over the water for a minute and I immediately felt like an ass, "Shit, Edward, I'm sorry, just forget I asked…"

He sighed, "It's okay, Jay…I can talk about it with you…"

He looked over at me and gave me a small grin, "My love of thunderstorms began long before that night. Being trapped in that small dark room…I never knew if the sun was shining or if a breeze was blowing…but when it stormed, I could feel it…hear it. I remember the sound of the rain beating against the roof and my window, the sound of the thunder and how it would shake the whole house. It was a reminder to me that a world did exist outside those four walls. I always felt like God was telling me that he was still there, even if I couldn't see him. That night in the trunk, the sound of the rain and thunder comforted me. When my father…um…when he abused me…it wasn't storming…the sun was shining. My life sometimes feels like I'm caught in a storm…everything moves so fast around me and I feel like I'm just hanging on for the ride…especially since you came into my life. But I love it. My life is kind of crazy now…impulsive…fun. I see and do things I never dreamed of because of you. Storms are wild and unpredictable but also breathtaking and magnificent…like you. I see more beauty in storms than I do sunshine."

_Fuck, the boy could just fuckin melt me… _

I threw out my cigarette and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me in-between my knees. His legs came up over mine as we sat face to face on that ledge.

I sighed and ran my fingers through his soft hair as I whispered, "I love you, Edward."

He smiled as he brought his hand up and opened his palm to reveal a small box, "I love you too, Jasper. I, um, bought this for you for your birthday right after I got out of the hospital. I wanted to wait to give it to you until we got here. So, um…happy belated birthday, Jay."

My heart caught in my throat a little as I looked down at the box. I whispered, "I didn't…I thought we were…"

He smiled, "It's okay, Jay. I don't care that you didn't get me anything. I know you were upset with me at that time. It's not a big deal. Now come on, open it!"

I smiled and took the box, slowly taking off the top. I laughed when I pulled out a shiny silver Zippo.

"This is perfect, Eddie, thanks."

He turned it over, "I had it engraved…see…"

I looked down at the pretty cursive script engraved and whispered, "My beloved is mine and I am his. Song of Solomon 2:16."

He blushed, "It's a little silly, I know…but I …"

But I cut him off as I reached out and pulled him to me, tasting those sweet cherry lips and thanking a God I wasn't even sure I believed in for letting us find each other.

He chuckled against my lips, "So, you like it then?"

I smiled back into the kiss and whispered, "Ready to go to bed so you can have your way with me now?"

He moaned softly before pulling away and standing. He reached out his hand for mine and smiled, "Come on, bad boy…Heaven awaits."

I took his hand and led him upstairs.

And I'm pretty sure I took my baby boy to Heaven cuz he was screamin' out God's name until the sun broke through the windows…

**A/N: I think one more chapter and I'll skip ahead some until the gang shows up… **


	40. Chapter 40

**Wild Horses by The Sundays and The Story by 30 Seconds to Mars (On my Youtube play list)**

**Eddie's POV**

I'm awoken by groans and thrashing beside me, lifting my sleepy head, I see my Love struggling in his sleep.

Muttered pleas and anguished cries fall from his lips and in this fitful state, I can see clearly the boy he once was…scared and lonely and sorrowful.

I go to wake him when my phone starts ringing. Furrowing my brows, I grab it and still half sleeping, I grumble, "Good morning, dad."

"Good morning, son. I didn't wake you, did I?"

I shake my head as I pull myself up to a sitting position and wrap my arms around Jay as he curls into my lap and finally stills, "Um, no…I was up."

He sighed and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice, "Edward…I'm afraid I have some bad news…Charlotte has passed."

I take a deep breath and tug at my hair for a moment…even if we knew it was coming, it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Is Peter okay?"

He blew out a breath, "He's…well, not okay but…he's dealing with it as best he can. We're all pitching in to make sure he's okay…Emmett and Brady stayed with him last night. Your mother, Rosalie, and Alice are making the funeral preparations this morning."

We talked for a little while and when I hung up the phone, I called Em.

"Edward?"

"Tommy? Hey man, is Em around?"

I heard some shuffling and the sound of a door close, "He's asleep, it's been kind of a long night. I guess you heard…"

Jasper started whimpering again so I began running my fingers through his hair, separating the soft curls until he settled again.

"Um, yeah…is Peter sleeping too?"

"Yeah, your dad gave him something to help him rest. He hasn't slept hardly at all the last couple of days. I feel so bad for him."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. I couldn't imagine ever losing Jay.

And then I remembered, "Oh, hey, wasn't there something you wanted to talk to me about? It sounded like something was on your mind the last time we spoke…"

He sighed, "Uh…sort of…um, is Jasper around?"

I furrowed my brows, "Yeah but he's sleeping…why?"

"I just…miss talking to you. I know it's really stupid but…when we were in the hospital together and stayed up all those nights talking…I just never really had someone like you to talk to before."

I ran my fingers through Jay's honey curls and sighed, "Well, you can call me anytime you want, Tommy. Is there something going on that you wanted to talk about?"

He chuckled nervously, "Um…well…uh…no, not really…I just…forget it. So, are you having a good time, Edward?"

I smiled immediately, "Yes, I'm having the most fun I've ever had in my whole life. Jay is so amazing…"

I proceeded to tell him the things we had done in the last few days, leaving out the kinky details because he never wanted to hear them.

"So, wait a second…you're telling me that he got pissed off about you _supposedly _flirting with the waiter but he admitted to overly flirting with the waitress from the Mexican place?"

The way he said it made it sound so much worse than it really was, "Um, yeah…but it was really no big deal…"

"Edward? That's hypocritical. Just because the waitress was a woman doesn't make it any less wrong. You shouldn't have to put up with that shit…"

I was starting to get a little upset because he was making Jasper out to be some bad guy, "Tommy, I'm not putting up with anything. Yeah, he messed up but we all mess up sometimes. He felt bad about it and apologized so I let it go…"

"But that's just it, Edward…you shouldn't have to always let it go. Every fight you two have, it seems like you're always the one to back down. He doesn't treat you right…hell, he forgot your anniversary!"

"I don't know what's going on with you, Tommy, but my relationship with Jay is just fine. Yeah, he's an asshole sometimes, it's just who he is. I accept him, flaws and all, just like he accepts me. In fact, I love that he's an asshole because the other part of him, the part that he reserves just for me, is the sweetest most loving person I have ever known. I don't know what your problem with him is, but if you want to keep me as a friend, you'd better back off right now."

I heard him take a breath and sigh, "Shit…I'm sorry, Edward. I don't have a problem with Jay…I've just been going through a lot lately. My, um…my mom called me last week…"

"Oh? Well, how did it go…what did she say?" I kept my fingers crossed that she had come to her senses and realized that all of the James bullshit wasn't her son's fault…that he was a victim.

I heard him sniffle, "Not good…"

I now removed my fingers from Jasper's locks and ran them through mine for a minute, "I'm so sorry, Tommy…"

His voice was cracking as he whispered with determination, "My mom brought me the last of my things…said her and dad are moving to another city…she said they're too ashamed to hold their heads up in town because everyone knows that I'm a fucked up little queer…said I was probably begging for what James did to me…"

My heart broke for him. I couldn't imagine what I would've done if I lost my parents over something as horrible and traumatic that he had endured.

I blew out a breath, "Jesus, Tommy…that's all bullshit, you know that, right? What happened to you, wasn't your fault and you being gay, doesn't _make it _your fault. I understand how it feels to think that you somehow caused…those bad things to happen…but it's all bullshit, man. I'm sorry but your parents are obviously the 'fucked up' ones. There's nothing wrong with you. You're smart and funny and unbelievably strong…handsome, sweet…"

I could hear him quietly sobbing on the other end as he whispered, "I'm not any of those things…"

"Yes, you are! Tommy, you're incredible! Anyone would be lucky just to even know you! In the short time we've known each other, you've become one of my closest friends. You are worthy of so much more than you realize."

He sniffled and whispered, "You really think that?"

I smiled as I felt Jasper's lips pucker and sweep over my thigh, "Yeah, I do."

"Thanks, Edward. You see? That's why I miss you. You always make me feel better no matter what stupid shit's going on in my life…"

He was still talking but the feeling of Jay's tongue lapping at my balls and his fingers wrapping around my hips and clenching my sides, pretty much consumed every thought I had at the moment.

I managed to respond with a couple of 'yeahs' 'uh huhs' and 'me too' while Jasper's tongue and mouth worked up my cock until he plunged down on the hardened length and I groaned loudly.

Tommy sounded concerned as he spoke again, "Edward? You okay?"

My voice was coming out a little breathless now, "Uh…yeah…I'm fine, Tommy, but I…"

Then Jasper was on his knees and nipping at my neck as he whispered kind of loud, "Unless Tommy wants to hear you screamin' my name…you should hang up the phone now, Edward…"

I grunted a low, "Fuck…"

And I heard Tommy do the same.

"I, um…I'll talk to you later, Edward, when you have more time for me…"

I wanted to feel bad…I know I probably _should_ feel bad…but with Jasper's hard body against mine and his tongue and lips and hands on my body…all I could feel at the moment was him.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Tommy...I'll call you soon, okay? Tell Em to call me when he wakes up. Later, man."

I hung up the phone and threw it at the end of the bed while I clenched Jay's hair in-between my fingers and dragged his lips to mine.

He growled into the kiss as his fingers clenched my back and ass, pulling me down as he slid me back into a lying position underneath him.

He presses me into the mattress as his fingers continue to hold me roughly, as if he was afraid that I might disappear right beneath them.

I released the hold I had on his curls and slid one hand over his shoulder, feeling his muscles clenching tight in his neck and shoulders. My other hand slid up the hard planes of his chest until I lay it, palm flat over his heart. It's beating wildly as his muscles continue to flex and tense. And I realize that his actions are desperate, needy, and wanton…and as much as I feel the same, I realize that something's bothering him.

So, I pull my mouth from his and throw my head back into the pillow while his lips immediately find purchase on my jaw and neck.

I tighten my fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and pant, "Jay? Baby, we should stop…"

He growls as his hard cock pushes against mine and his voice, rough and raw whispers, "Don't wanna…"

So, instead of pushing him away, I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer as I breath out, "What's wrong, Jay? Talk to me, baby, please…"

His movements still for a moment as I feel the muscles in his back tighten and tense again.

His head was against my shoulder as his breathing came out in heavy pants. I took the opportunity to roll him over onto his back as I now straddled him. I tried to raise up and look at him but he just held me tighter.

He was really starting to worry me. I figured it must have something to do with the dream he had and was about to question him, "Jasper, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere so please loosen your grip for just a moment…"

I barely heard the whimper as his fingers relaxed and allowed me to pull up so that I could look down at him. His eyes were clenched shut and his jaw was locked and rigid.

I ran my thumb over his plump pink bottom lip and they parted slightly as a huff of hot air brushed across as he released a breath.

I whispered, "It was just a dre…"

And then his eyes opened and stopped me dead in my tracks. They were bright sapphire and brilliantly shimmering, tempting to overflow at any moment. Then I felt his bottom lip quiver underneath my thumb and my breathing hitched. He didn't have to say a word, I knew what he needed just by the look in his eyes.

I leaned down and took his lips to mine as I now clenched his shoulders and back, pulling him with me as I lay on my back and bring him back on top of me. His fingers are gripping my hips again as his tongue swirls around mine and explores every inch of my mouth.

I free one hand and reach blindly for the nightstand, feeling my way around until I find the small drawer. Once opened, I retrieve the small bottle of lube and run it down his back until it reached his hand gripping my ass.

He takes it and breaks the kiss with a gasp for air. His baby blues open and squeeze back shut, causing a few tears to slip from the corners. I reach up with one hand and brush the tears away while my other tentatively takes the lube from his hand.

I pour some on my fingers before wrapping them around his hard length and pulling the soft skin up and down over his firm steel. I'm rewarded by a low groan and a pleading, "Edward…baby, we should…"

But I press my other finger to his lips and whisper, "Shhh…we'll talk later, Jay."

His eyes open again and shine with love and gratitude as he finally smiles a little and whispers, "Thanks, Eddie…"

I smile back and slide my fingers back into his golden curls, pulling his lips to mine and tasting the sweet and salty honey of his tongue and tears. I stroke him languidly as his hips move slowly and sensually into my hand and his now wet finger dips inside of me.

I'm anxious for him to fill me so I mimic his movements and roll my hips up, causing his finger to slide in and out of me while his hard length slides easily in my hand and against my own rigid cock.

I'm pushing against him, desperate for more of his touch and am finally rewarded with another finger.

By the time he feels I'm ready, _I_ am the one who is desperate and needy and wanton. No words are spoken as I feel his fingers slip out and I let go of his cock as he grips it and begins rubbing it tortuously slow along the crack of my ass, teasing my entrance until I can take no more.

I feel him pull the cool cotton sheet over top of us and I look up to see him looking down at me. For a moment, I'm lost in his beauty. His eyes are like storms of blue and gray, swirling together in different shades and hues…reminding me of the internal battle going on behind them right now.

His gaze is intense and I feel so much love radiating from him that it makes my heart ache from the power behind it. Is it possible to love someone so much that it hurt?

_Yes, it's possible…_

He whispers through a shaky, uncertain breath that comes from the real Jasper hidden underneath the arrogance and attitude, "Please don't ever leave me, Eddie…"

I reach up and brush the warm tears from his cheek with wide eyes as I whisper, "I could never leave you, Jay…_never_…"

His eyes squeeze shut and his lips are on mine as I feel his trembling body begin to push inside of me. He moves his hips slowly in one smooth motion as he fills me completely.

I tighten my arms around his neck and kiss him harder, trying to let him know that I'm here and I'm never going anywhere without him by my side. He lays down on me so that I feel his weight and the strong planes of his chest against mine. There is not an inch of space between our bodies as he begins moving in and out of me, slowly…deliberately…

My flesh is scorching as his slick, hard skin moves against mine…the coolness of the simple sheet does nothing to squelch the ever growing inferno that began from the inside and slowly works its way out until I feel him everywhere…from deep inside my heart and body to his damp, golden curls tickling my cheek and his feet curling around mine to try and draw himself impossibly deeper within me.

We make love for an eternity until my body is weak and wet and completely satisfied as he swallows my moans…my sticky nectar covering our stomachs as I now swallow his moans and feel him cum inside of me, hard and hot.

Our bodies shake and tremble from the intensity as we come down together but don't move to separate for quite some time afterwards.

Eventually, he pulls his swollen lips from mine and wipes the damp hair from my forehead and smiles softly as he whispers, "Mine."

I smile back and whisper, "Yours."

We just smile at each other goofily for a minute until he finally gets up and grabs a wet washcloth to clean us up.

He grabs my hands and pulls me up, "C'mon, babe, let's go take a shower 'fore ya fall asleep."

My head lulls for a second because, I was in fact, about to fall asleep. But defiantly I mutter, "I'm not even sleepy, Jay…"

He laughs and helps me trudge into the shower. The warm water and his solid body encompassed me as I sighed deeply and just curled into his chest with a happy smile.

We take our time and wash each other and I feel warm and safe by our routine. Once all the shampoo and soap is flowing down the drain, I look up into his eyes and finally question, "What was going on earlier with you, Jay?"

He sighs and shrugs, "Nothin' really…I just had a dream that you left me and then I woke up and heard you tellin' Tommy that he was handsome and sweet…"

_Jay and his abandonment issues…_

I finally tell him about Charlotte and what was going on with Tommy, hoping to squash his fears. He's upset about Charlotte and worried about Peter.

We get out of the shower and both just throw on some pajama pants before we go downstairs and grab some lunch. It was already late in the afternoon, having spent the entire morning in bed.

As we're eating, my phone rings and I quickly answer it, "Hey Em…um…how are you?"

He sighs, "I've seen better days, Ed. Tommy said you called this morning. Have you told Jasper?"

"Um, yeah. How's Peter?"

"God, Edward…he's just destroyed. She didn't remember him at the very end…but she passed in her sleep so that comforted him a little. We're all pulling together to try and take care of everything. I just couldn't imagine…y'know, if it were me and Rose…God, I hope I go before she does…"

"I know what you mean, Em. Is he still sleeping?"

"Yeah, well he's been in and out all day. He probably won't even be coherent for a few days, man. When he's awake, all he does is cry and sit out by her garden."

We talked for a little while longer and then Jay talked to him too. He tells us that he's going to come out in a couple of weeks and we're excited about hanging out with them again. When we hung up the phone, the mood was somber. We really didn't do much for the rest of the day but just hang out together, sometimes talking, sometimes being together in comfortable silence.

When we got the information for the funeral, we had some flowers sent, lilies because they were her favorite.

The next few days slowly passed and things began to return to normal. We called and checked in on Peter every day and he was slowly starting to pull himself back together.

On Friday, it rained all day so we finally had our movie marathon and lounged around all day again in nothing but our sweats. Jasper knew every freaking word to Scarface and I laughed as he did his Tony Montana impression because that Cuban accent mixed with his southern one was absolutely hysterical.

And he was right, I liked Tony Montana.

He acted like he was going to fall asleep again when we started watching Lord of the Rings…but an hour into it and he was sitting up next to me eating popcorn and imitating Gollum.

_God, his impressions suck…_

By the time the third movie ended, he was wired. I think it was because he really enjoyed the movies a lot but it could've been the dozen or so beers we drank.

"Holy shit that was fuckin' awesome!"

I smiled, "See, I knew you'd like it. Fucking elves are hot. So, did any of the hobbits do it for you?"

He smirked, "Sam was kinda cute…all little and pudgy and shit…plus, he would be the perfect height to just stand on my feet and give me head all day long."

I rolled my eyes, "You have serious issues, sweetheart."

He just shrugged, "Yeah, so I've been told, darlin'."

He went outside to smoke a cigarette and I decided to have a bit of fun with him. I ran to the linen closet and pulled out a brown sheet. I tied it around my neck like a cape and then pulled my arms into the button up shirt I threw on so they looked really short. Then I got down to my knees and stuck them in my shoes, while the cape covered my feet behind me.

I giggled as I waddled to the patio door…

_God, I am going to feel like such a dumbass in the morning…_

I knocked on the glass and he turned. He looked confused for a second until he finally looked down, then he damn near fell over as he started laughing hysterically.

I just stood, well stood on my knees anyway, there until he finally pulled back the sliding door.

I looked up at him through my lashes with wide eyes and spoke, "It's the _cock._ You can't take your eyes off it; I've seen you. You're not eating. You barely sleep. It's taken ahold of you, Mr. Dildo. You have to fight it."

He was giggling so hard he could barely speak but he managed to get out, "It's mine…my own…my _precious_…"

I leaned against the doorway on one elbow as I ran my hand threw my hair, which was difficult with short arms. I raised an eyebrow and smirked, "So, you ever had your dick sucked by a horny hobbit?"

He was laughing so hard he couldn't speak this time. I smiled, "I may be short but they call me tripod for a reason…"

He wiped the tears from his eyes and his dimpled smile was ingrained to his beautiful face, "I'll let you suck my dick on one condition…"

I started rubbing my hands together like an evil horny little fucker, "Anything…"

He took a few steps back and laughed, "Walk over here and take it."

I started laughing now as I waddled to him, with my knees still in my shoes. When I finally reached him, I reached up with my little arms and struggled to free his cock from the prison of his sweats.

When I saw it, semi hard and beautiful, I licked my lips and grinned, "My _precious_…"

He was laughing even as I leaned forward and took him in my mouth. It took me a minute to get him completely hard because he kept looking down at me and chuckling.

I lavished his gorgeous cock with attention, swirling my tongue around the plump head, sucking him deep down my throat and swallowing, moaning around his cock as mine became rigid and pulsing.

His head was back and his eyes were closed as his fingers tangled in my hair and he moaned softly into the nighttime sky. The moon over head illuminating his ethereal form.

When I felt like I might burst, he carefully gripped his cock and pulled it from my mouth as he tugged my head back by my hair. He smiled, "Shall I impale you with my stiff steel?"

I chuckled now and raised an eyebrow in challenge, "I shall thwart thy evil cockery."

He smirked, "I'm bigger than you, dwarf."

I smirked back, "I'm not a dwarf…I'm a hobbit. The first thing they teach you in hobbit 101...go for the knees…"

And with that I grabbed his knees and pushed him back. He fell into the pool behind him with a loud splash and I started laughing my ass off.

Until he came up and gasped as he moved the wet curls from his eyes, "Oh, you're dead, Cullen!"

I let out a small yelp and tried to turn to run, but I was still on my knees and got all tangled up in my damn cape.

The next thing I knew, his hands were wrapped around my legs, dragging me into the pool. I fought and tried to grasp onto the ground as he pulled me. I gasped out laughing, "Give it up, Whitlock!"

He laughed as he pulled harder, "Oh, _you're_ gonna give it up, Cullen! Just as soon as I get'cha in this damn pool!"

He eventually pulled me in and dunked me. When I surfaced, we were both laughing hysterically.

He swam to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Time to give it up, Cullen."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled, "You want it? Take it, Whitlock."

He smiled as his hands went down and gripped my sweats, tugging them down and off. I did the same to him and we threw them up on the patio with a wet thud. He was already completely naked as he began unbuttoning my shirt and pulled it off. I reached up and started to undo the cape and he swatted my hands away, "Uh uh…the cape stays on."

I laughed for a moment until I felt my back hit the wall and he was lifting my legs to wrap around his waist.

He smiled as he trailed his hand down my back until he pressed a finger inside of me from underneath. I groaned as my head fell back against the ground outside the pool. He continued to stretch me until I was writhing against his hand, the stupid cape long forgotten.

Then his fingers were gone and replaced by the thick head of his dick pushing up inside of me. Now, I threw my head forward onto his shoulder as he filled me. The cool water was such an amazing contrast to the heat of his body and the brisk breeze in the air.

His hands were on my ass as he pulled out almost all the way and then slammed back into me. I gasped as the water sloshed all around us and I hang onto him with everything I had as he fucked me hard and fast against the wall of the pool.

I loved to be fucked like this by Jasper. He was incredible and I couldn't imagine that anyone could ever be as good as he was. He was the fucking Obi Wan of the cock…he knew how to use the Force…

_Damn, I'm drunk…right there, baby…fuck…the Force is strong in this one..._

"Harder, Jay! Faster, baby! Fuck me! Oh God yes, fuck me, Jay!"

So, I was a little vocal when I was drinking…I'm sure he didn't mind.

I was rewarded when he grasped the edge of the pool and started fucking me into oblivion, grunting and cursing into my neck as he bit down. I screamed out as I came just from the friction of our bodies and was soon followed by him releasing deep inside of me while screaming my name.

We just held onto each other for awhile until we could get our breathing back under control. When I finally pulled away to look into his eyes, I grinned, "So, have you ever seen the Star Wars movies because I think you'd really like them?"

He laughed and held me tighter, "No, I haven't, darlin' but we already got a pink light saber…"

I smiled into his neck as my eyes got unbelievably sleepy. I yawned, "Maybe we can go to Wal-Mart tomorrow and buy them."

I felt him kiss my cheek and whisper, "Love you, Eddie. Sweet dreams, baby boy."

I woke up the next morning, alone. I whispered, "Jay? Jay, baby, where are you?"

I didn't hear anything coming from the bathroom or downstairs. I pulled myself up from the bed and grabbed a pair of his basketball shorts that were lying on the floor. I yanked them up as I stumbled sleepily and yawned as I scratched my hair and made my way down the stairs.

I looked out back but he wasn't out there smoking a cigarette. I passed a vase full of some kind of strange flowers on the kitchen table so I knew he had to be around somewhere. I was starting to get concerned until I heard music coming from the front.

I squinted as I pulled open the front door and was met with the blinding sun. I grunted as I grabbed my sunglasses and slipped them on. I had a bit of a headache from last night as images of hobbits and capes came barreling at me. I felt my whole body turn red and vowed to never bring it up…hopefully, he wouldn't remember.

I looked out and had to lift my glasses to get a good look.

_Instant boner…_

He was barefoot, wearing only a pair of low slung jean shorts while he leaned over my car and was currently washing the hood. The doors were open and the music was on. He was sweaty and golden and wet…it was downright sinful.

He finally realized I was gawking at him as he looked up at me and smiled that beautiful dimpled grin, "Hey babe! I was wonderin' how long you were gonna sleep."

I just swallowed and nodded as he grabbed the water hose and started spraying off the suds. I reached down to adjust myself before walking over to him, "Um…what are you doing?"

_Apparently the stupidity of last night is still carrying forward to today…nice… _

He smiled, "Washin' your car. It was kinda filthy. I hope ya don't mind but I took it this mornin' and went out to get the stuff to change your oil. I figured it needed it since we ain't done it since you picked me up."

Again I nodded, "Oh…that's nice. Thank you, Jay."

He shrugged, "No problem, babe. So, you feelin' like refried shit this mornin'?"

I sighed, "Um, yeah…I have a bit of a headache."

He dropped the hose and walked into the garage, returning with a bottle of water and two pills in his hand, "Here, Eddie. I figured you'd be feelin' like warmed over hell when ya woke up so I got ya some aspirin at the store."

I smiled at the gesture, "Thanks, Jay." I took the pills and quickly swallowed them.

"Would you, um…do you want me to help?"

He grabbed the towel and started drying the now sparkling Volvo, "Nah…you don't feel good, baby, so why don't ya just relax. I'm almost done for now. I'll wax it after we eat and change the oil later on when it cools down some."

I couldn't help but give him a crooked grin, "Okay, well would you like some lemonade? I can go and make some?"

He smiled over at me as his honey curls hung over his baby blues, "That'd be great, darlin'. I'll be there in just a minute."

I nodded and went back into the house. I quickly went in and started making the lemonade. I cut the lemons easily and didn't even realize that I had no trouble doing it until they were done. No shaking, no memories, no panic attacks. It was a small victory but a victory nonetheless.

My headache eased up some by the time Jay came into the kitchen. I handed him a glass filled with ice and lemonade. He smiled a breathless, "Thanks, babe," and quickly downed it. I took it from him and refilled it.

He was working on that one when I grabbed a kitchen towel and wetted it under the sink. I wrung it out well and pulled out a kitchen chair, "Here, Jay…sit down, babe."

He sat and I laid the cold towel across his shoulders and began massaging them. He sighed and closed his eyes, "Mmm…that feels good, Eddie."

I smiled, "Good…ya know, Jay, we could've taken the car to a carwash…there was no need for you to work so hard this morning."

His eyes remained closed as he sipped his lemonade and sighed, "I don't mind a little hard work, darlin'…besides, you're shiny, silver Volvo wasn't shiny no more and we just can't have that, now can we?"

I chuckled, "You like the Volvo…admit it."

He opened his eyes and laughed as he grabbed my arm and pulled me onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, "I reckon I like it alright…I mean, you did lose your V-card in it so I s'pose I should keep it lookin' and runnin' good."

I smiled as I laid my head on his shoulder, "You take good care of me."

He held me tight and I felt his lips against my neck, "That's my job, baby boy…I'll always take care of you."

I finally pulled away from his neck and took his lips to mine. The kiss was soft and sweet as he smiled into it, "Mornin', darlin."

I smiled back, "Good morning, babe."

After a minute, I got up and refilled his glass for him again while he started making us some sandwiches. As we sat down at the kitchen table, I remembered, "Oh, hey…are these flowers for me?"

His dimples broke through and his cheeks tinted, "Yeah…actually, I stopped at a nursery and got 'em…sort of a late anniversary gift. I'm really sorry I forgot, Eddie…I swear it won't happen again."

I reached out and ran my finger down the white petal, "It's okay, Jay. It's pretty…what is it?"

He smiled, "It's called honeysuckle."

I raised an eyebrow, "Well, I like the name."

He laughed and reached out to pluck a flower from the stem. I gasped, "Hey!"

He just chuckled again, "Trust me, sugar…you're gonna appreciate this…close your eyes."

I furrowed my brows but did as he asked. Then I felt something soft against my lips and he whispered, "Now, suck."

I raised an eyebrow and he laughed again, "C'mon, Eddie…suck it, baby, please…."

I felt myself begin to harden and tentatively began, well, sucking.

I was pleasantly surprised as I drank in a sweet honey nectar. My eyes flashed open and I smiled, "Is that honey?"

He laughed, "Yep…I thought you'd like it. When I was a kid, my granny had tons of this stuff growin' all around. I used to pluck all the flowers off and drink 'em down all day long. I remembered it this mornin' and thought you might like them."

I was amazed, a honey flower…how awesome was that!

"Thank you, Jay…I love them."

"You're welcome, baby…and I'm also gonna take ya out tonight since I kinda screwed up our anniversary date."

I smiled as we began eating, "Where are we going?"

He shook his head, "Nope, it's a surprise. You're gonna have to wait till we get there."

I pouted a little but then let it go. After we finished eating, I went out and helped him wax my car. Then he taught me how to change my oil. Although I found it insanely sexy when he did it…it wasn't really my thing.

After we did all that, we took a long cool bath and just laid there for awhile in the tub. Eventually, we pulled ourselves out and were eating dinner when my phone rang. I frowned at the number, "Um, Jay…it's your Aunt Barb's house."

He grabbed the phone and looked at it for a second, "Um…it's probably Jeremiah…just put it on speaker phone and answer it. If it ain't him…just…hang up."

I nodded and took a breath as I hit the speaker button, "Um…hello?"

"Hey there you pretty mother fucker…is Jay around?"

I laughed and Jay sighed in relief, "What's up, Cuz?"

Jeremiah sighed, "Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Cuz…but the shit…has hit…the fan."

My heart stopped and Jay frowned, "What's goin' on?"

"That fuckin' bitch been runnin' her mouth again…been tellin' everybody that'll listen that you're…um, y'know…into dudes and shit…said she seen you outside the bar with a guy…"

Jay's head dropped and he growled, "Fuck! Does daddy know yet?"

"Uncle Wayne knows, man. Ya know shit spreads like wildfire in this shit town. Good news is, your little cousins Suzie, Jenny, and Laura Lu, caught her outside the Wal-Mart and whooped her mother fuckin' bitch ass!"

He was rubbing his temples as he spoke quietly, "That was kinda nice…tell 'em I said thanks. What'd daddy say? Does he believe her? Is he gonna kill me?"

"Well…he ain't happy, Cuz. He ain't said one way or the other if he believes it or not. Told me that if I hear from ya…that ya got till Monday to call him or else he's gonna call ya in as a runaway and contact them cops in Washington to talk to Eddie's parents."

I dropped my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. Jay groaned, "Fuck…what the fuck am I gonna do?"

Jeremiah sighed, "Sometimes, man…ain't nothin' you can do but hold your head up high and take it like a man. Guys like us, Jay…we do what we gotta do…not what we wanna do. Call him…I know he's pissed as hell right now and I know Uncle Wayne is the biggest son of a bitch this side of Texas…but he…well, shit, man…he's been worried as fuck about you."

Jay laughed humorously, "He ain't ever worried bout me a day in my life…"

"That ain't true, Cuz…when you was with your mama, he always talked about how much he worried bout ya."

Jay rolled his eyes, "If he was so worried then why didn't he take me from mama? Why does he live to beat the shit out of me? The fucker don't give a fuck about me."

"Jay, your daddy has a lot of problems, man…you ain't been around him all his life like I have…I can't answer them questions but maybe he can. All I'm sayin' is…call him before Monday…try not to blow up…give him a chance to talk without bein' a smartass. I ain't sayin' he's gonna turn into Bill fuckin Cosby and shit…wearin' sweaters and dancing' 'round like a jackass…but he can be alright sometimes. Listen to your old Cuz now, son…I'm older, better lookin', smarter, and have a much bigger dick than you…I know what I'm talkin' about."

Jay rolled his eyes again but laughed a little, "You're such an asshole…"

Jeremiah laughed, "I'm a Whitlock, fucker…it's part of the charm…"

I spoke now, "Um…Jeremiah?"

"What's up, pretty boy?"

I smiled and blushed, "Um…do you think, um…do you think Jay's father will make him come back to Texas?"

He blew out a breath and sighed, "Probably. I'm sorry, man. I'm doin' my best to put out all the fires that bitch started but Uncle Wayne's stubborn as a barnyard mule so he probably ain't gonna bend much on this one…"

I gulped and felt my heart racing and my breaths becoming shallow. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to calm myself down. A moment later, I was being pulled into Jay's lap as he ran his fingers through my hair and whispered, "Shh…calm down, sugar…everything's gonna be okay. Just calm down, baby."

I held onto him and breathed in his honey scent…it helped as I willed myself to breathe.

Jay sighed, "Hey thanks for the heads up, man…you still leavin' in a few days?"

"Yeah, on Wednesday. Mama's havin' a barbecue for me tomorrow so your daddy will be here if you wanna call. Sorry for fuckin' up your night and shit, Cuz. You take care there, pretty boy. I'll talk to ya'll later."

"Later, Cuz."

"Bye, Jeremiah."

I hit the end button and sighed, "What are we going to do, Jay?"

He smiled but it didn't reach his dimples, "Well…you're gonna go get ready and then I'm gonna take you out for our anniversary."

"Maybe we shouldn't go out tonight."

He shook his head, "I gotta talk to my dad tomorrow, Edward…I _need _to go out tonight. C'mon, it'll be fun…let's just go out and blow off some steam. You're gonna like what I have planned, okay? I promise, baby."

And then I realized that he was sending me away to get ready by myself so he could have some time alone to think. So I gave him my best smile and nodded, "Okay, Jay. Is jeans okay?"

"Yep, just wear somethin' nicer than a t-shirt, darlin'."

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes."

I pulled myself up from his lap and ran upstairs. It didn't take me too long to put on a nice pair of dark jeans and a white button up shirt. I played with my hair for a few minutes and then went downstairs to find him.

I saw him sitting on the back patio with his guitar in his lap, facing out towards the water. I carefully slid open the patio door and slipped out unnoticed. His hair was pulled back at the nape of his neck and I just had to walk around to the side so that I could see his stunning face. I had never seen his hair off of his face before like that and I must say that I really liked it.

He was strumming softly with his eyes closed, still unaware of my presence. A minute later he started playing a song and singing out into the nighttime air. His voice was haunting and beautiful as he sang softly…

"I've been thinking of everything I used to want to be…I've been thinking of everythingOf me, of you and me…This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…"

I watched in silent awe as he swayed back and forth, eyes closed and completely lost in his music.

"I'm in the middle of nothing and it's where I want to be…I'm at the bottom of everythingthat I finally start to believe…"

He was incredible…

"This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…"

My skin erupted in goose bumps as his voice just poured emotion out, thick and muddy and absolutely mesmerizing.

"And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…In the end…In the end…In the end…In the end…"

It was amazing to me how much of himself he gave when he sang and played his guitar. The raw emotion and lingering passion just flowed from him like a sieve.

"This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…These are the lies I have created…This is the story of my life…These are the lies I have created…"

When he was finished, I was surprised to hear some cheering and catcalls. I looked out towards the beach to some girls who were hollering about how good he was...and how hot he was. He blushed slightly and put his head down and I smiled, "I can't leave you alone for five minutes before the fan girls descend."

He looked over at me now and I was graced with perfect dimples, "It don't matter what they think, baby…I'm on your team."

I laughed, "Team Edward?"

He smirked, "Nope…Team _Tripod_. Now, c'mon, pretty boy…we got ourselves a hot date to go on."

I blushed deeply and mumbled, "Damn, I was hoping you were too drunk to remember that."

He laughed, "Shit, baby…I took pictures…I ain't ever gonna forget that."

I groaned, "Pictures? Seriously? Ugh…this date better be good."

He set his guitar down and wrapped his arms around me, "I promise, Eddie…it's gonna be a night _you'll_ never forget."

I smiled and hardened just a little bit as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along.

_I wonder where he's taking me…_


	41. Chapter 41

**Did you miss me? I'm back. Thanks for all the reviews and PM's. I'm gonna respond to all of the PM's but I just got my internet hooked up today so it will be a little bit. For those of you who haven't read my LL outtake, check it out. The link is on my profile. I'm also getting ready to post a new short story called Dazed and Confused: A Love Story. It will only be four or five chapters. It started as a o/s for the FGB auction but I'm gonna do it as a short story so I can add some more details. Anyway, thanks for waiting so patiently. I will be updating regularly again, once every one-two weeks. **

**Playlist: That's How Strong My Love Is by Otis Redding, Not Gonna Get Us by t.A.T.u**

**Jay's POV**

I pushed all the stupid bullshit about my daddy outta my mind and focused on making this night incredible for my baby boy. I may _have _the world's biggest dick…but I _felt _like the world's biggest dick for forgetting our first anniversary.

I just hoped he didn't freak out too much…

_Nah, Eddie's gonna love this shit!_

I pulled onto the side of the street about half a block away from where we were going. It looked like the place was pretty packed and I prayed like hell that my cocky ass attitude didn't backfire this time.

Edward smiled as he looked around, "Where are we, Jay?"

I flashed my trademark dimples at him cuz I wasn't sure if he'd be mad and so I figured I should pull out all the ammo I got…

"Well, darlin'…I may have to do a little flirtin' to get us in but I promise that it don't mean nothin' and ya know, you can help if ya want or you can just stand there lookin' all pretty and shit cuz that'll probably work just as well…"

I was pulled from my rambling by a snap of his fingers, "Jay? Quit rambling. What is this? A club or something?"

I let out a breath, "Yep, a club. Let's go."

I started to get out as his eyes began surveying the scene around us and I could see his inner gears working, "Wait, Jay…is this an…um…like a bar kind of nightclub? I mean, do they, um…serve alcohol?"

I kept my answer simple for fear that he might really freak out on me, "Yes."

Then I watched as the dawn of realization washed over his face and his eyes grew wide as he gasped, "A gay club? You brought me to a gay club? What the hell, Jasper?"

I put my hands on his shoulder, "Edward? I've never been to a gay club. Neither have you. I wanted our night to be something new for both of us…something we could learn about and experience together."

_And I wanna see if I can get you to dance with me in front of everybody…_

He rolled his eyes, "Are you sure it's not just because you want to get me drunk enough to actually dance?"

_Freaky mind reading shit…_

I remembered one night when we were thirteen, after our first kiss, there was a dance at school that we were talkin about. Edward admitted to me that he had never danced, nor did he ever have any desire to dance. I figured it was cuz he didn't know how to dance and I came close to askin' if I could teach him but then I thought that was a really _strange _thought so I kept my mouth shut. But now…

I smiled, "Do you know how to dance, babe?"

His cheeks turned crimson and he huffed a little as he looked cautiously out the window, "Well…no…"

I laughed and reached over and ran my thumb down his cheek before gently pulling his chin towards me so I could see his pretty green eyes, "I could teach ya…if ya want?"

He gave me his crooked grin, "I'm sure you could, um…do you think we can even get in?"

I shrugged, "Beats the hell outta me but I thought, y'know…fuck it, carpe diem and all that shit..."

He grimaced a little and I quickly added, "We don't have to try if ya don't want, we could just go somewhere else…"

He shook his head, "No, we can try…I mean, I _am _a little curious…but I don't know if I'll feel comfortable enough to dance and even if we manage to get in, I still don't see how we'll get alcohol…"

I smirked, "You and me, Eddie…we can get anything we want. C'mon, babe…"

I got out of the car and walked around, opening his door and grabbing his hands, pulling him out. I put my arm around him and whispered, "Relax, baby…"

He took a deep breath and nodded as we walked up to the guy at the front door.

The guy looked at us with a raised eyebrow and I leaned into Edward's ear and whispered, "Use the crooked grin, Eddie…"

He lifted his head and put on that beautiful crooked grin with just a hint of blush in his cheeks and my weapon of choice was dimples.

The guy smiled, "Good evening, gentlemen…do you have ID?"

I shook my head and decided to pull out the arsenal, making sure my curls fell in front of my eyes just a little and laying thick into my southern drawl, "Well, no sir, we don't have our ID with us tonight…we're just here on vacation and thought that maybe this would be a good place to have a little fun…"

He grinned, "Well, what kind of fun are you boys looking for tonight?"

I started to speak when Edward interrupted, "Um…we're boyfriends and we're in love…so we're not looking for _that _kind of fun…"

The guy smiled and it seemed like the people standing by broke out in 'Awws' and 'How sweets' and started calling out for the guy to just let us in.

Edward blushed and buried his face into my shoulder.

"Okay, you two are just too adorable for words…I'll let you in on one condition…"

I raised an eyebrow as I brushed my fingers through Eddie's hair, "What's that?"

"I get off here in three hours…I want to dance with him."

He motioned towards Edward and I could feel my blood starting to boil, "I don't…"

But Edward looked up and smiled, "Um, okay, that sounds fair."

I was getting ready to probably say something I shouldn't say so he clamped his hand over my mouth and mumbled, "Thanks," before pushing me into the club.

When he let go of my mouth, I furrowed my brows, "What the fuck, Edward? You're really gonna dance with that prick…"

He smiled, "Jasper, he gets off in three hours…that gives us two and a half hours before we have to leave."

I let out a breath, "Oh…okay then."

I smiled and leaned into him for a quick kiss. He blushed and we finally started looking around us. The place was packed with men. All kinds of men. Older, younger, short, tall, hot, ugly as sin, half clothed, drunken, happy dancing men.

Edward looked around for a minute before just wrapping his arms around me and burying his head in my chest again, "Wow…there's a lot of…um…people in here."

I nodded, "Yeah…let's go find a table and just chill for a little while, okay?"

This was a completely new environment for him and while I wasn't all that uncomfortable, I knew that he was because he wasn't used to being in crowds of people…especially gay men.

He turned in my arms with his back to my chest and I just kept my arms wrapped around his waist as we pushed our way through the people. We were walking by a table that had some younger guys sitting there and one looked up and smiled, "Hey are you guys looking for a table?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

He motioned for us to join them, "It's pretty packed tonight, you can sit with us."

I pulled out a chair and sat down mumbling "Thanks."

I pulled out the chair next to me but smiled when Edward just plopped down on my lap with his arm around my shoulders. I figured he must've needed to be close to me to handle being around so many people.

The guy who invited us smiled as he pushed his brown hair from his eyes, "Hey, I'm Joe…this is Trevor…"

He went around and introduced us to everyone and I smiled, "I'm Jay…this is my boyfriend, Edward."

_That's right, fuckers, __**my **__boyfriend so don't even think about it…but then again, they probably figured that out since he's all curled up in my lap right now._

We all talked a little and these guys were actually pretty cool. They were going to Michigan University and were here for vacation before the semester started. I offered to pay for the next round of drinks if they would buy cuz I didn't wanna chance getting carded. They agreed so I smiled up at Eddie whose eyes were currently looking around in a mixture of excitement, curiosity, and awe, "Hey darlin', what'cha wanna drink?"

His face was flushed as he mumbled quietly, "Um…I don't know…uh…beer?"

I smiled, "Baby, you don't really like beer that much…why don't you get a margarita or somethin'?"

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Will that make me look too girly?"

I chuckled and whispered, "Eddie, we're in a gay bar surrounded by grown men in boy shorts and angel wings…"

He laughed for a second before furrowing his brows a little like he was in deep thought, when Trevor smiled, "Try a Hurricane, Edward…you can barely taste the alcohol."

He nodded, "Okay…I'll try it. What about you, Jay?"

I shook my head, "I'll just have a Coke."

He looked at me confused, "You aren't drinking?"

"No, baby, I gotta drive us home. You go ahead, baby boy, get fucked up…don't worry, I'll enjoy the benefits later."

_Drunk Edward = Horny as Fuck Edward_

I smirked and he rolled his eyes with a sweet laugh. The waitress brought out the drinks a few minutes later and he sipped happily, "Mmm…this is so good!"

Everyone talked for awhile and the more Edward drank, the more comfortable he got. He was talking and starting to dance around a little in my lap. I paid attention to the guys at the next table over in order to not throw Edward down over this table and fuck the ever lovin' daylights outta him right here in front of everyone.

The guys at the next table were older, probably thirties or some shit…the thing that made them stand out to me over everyone else was that you could see how madly in love they were. They were facing each other, always touching…running fingers through the hair and sliding the fingers up and down their arms…they were so lost in each other that nothing around them seemed to even register. Sometimes they didn't even have to speak, one would give the other a 'look' and the other one would nod knowingly and usually laugh…absorbed in they're own little private jokes and stories.

I hoped that me and Edward would be like that someday. That even after fifteen or twenty years of each other…we would still get be so crazy in love…completely captive of one another.

_Son of whore that feels good…_

He was now bouncing on my lap as he closed his eyes and got lost in the music. Just then some guy walked up and smiled as he reached out and tapped Edward's shoulder, "If this boy won't take you out on the dance floor, honey, then why don't you let a real man like me take you?"

_Oh hell no…_

Edward's eyes were wide as he tightened his fingers around mine, which were tightening into a fist.

I wanted to hit the guy…that was my first instinct…but I didn't really wanna bring any trouble in on us so I kept my calm.

I looked up at Edward and smiled, "Will you stand up for a minute, baby?"

His eyes pleaded with me so I reassured him, "It's gonna be okay, Eddie, don't worry."

He reluctantly stood and then I stood face to face with this old arrogant retard who thought he actually had a fuckin' chance with my motherfuckin' boy…

I was actually a couple inches taller than him so I just put on my best 'fuck you' smile and spoke down to him, "Because I promised that I'd be good tonight…I'm gonna go against my very fuckin' nature and _not _beat the fuck outta you…but if I hear one more motherfuckin' word from you…I'm gonna rip your body limb from limb and burn the fuckin' pieces…so, go ahead…ask my boyfriend if he wants to dance again."

The guy just stared at me wide eyed for a moment before turning around and stomping off. I sat back down and pulled Edward in my lap again. He smiled, "You are _so _jealous."

"Edward, in case you haven't noticed…I'm fuckin' possessive of shit that belongs to me. _You _fuckin' belong to me. Besides don't act like you're not jealous…if someone came over and asked me to dance, I'm sure I'd have to hold you back."

He shook his head, "Nah…I know you're mine so…"

Just then some man came up and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned my head just in time to hear Edward growl, "Back off, he's mine!"

The guy held his hands up, "Uh, sorry…I actually just wanted to know if we could have that chair you're not using?"

I smirked at Eddie as he ducked his head sheepishly into my shoulder. I laughed, "Yeah, man…go ahead and take it."

The guy grabbed the chair and left. I wrapped my arms around my boy, "Not jealous at all, huh?"

He chuckled against my neck, "Well, maybe just a little."

We both laughed for a minute and then I brushed my lips against his ear and whispered, "Wanna dance?"

He stiffened a little and cleared his throat, "Uh…I don't really know how…"

I laughed softly and pulled his chin up so I could look in those pretty green eyes, "Bullshit, Eddie…you've been bouncing around on my lap for half an hour now…c'mon, baby…dance with me…please?"

He took a deep breath and slowly stood. I laced my fingers with his and pulled him out onto the dance floor. Truth be known, I had never danced before to this kind of music. It was like some fast club music but any excuse to rub up against Eddie was good enough for me.

He stood in front of me and anxiously looked around at all the people surrounding us. I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled his body flush with mine. That got his attention as he brought his pretty eyes up to mine. I smiled, "The only thing I want you to see, hear, and feel is me, alright? It's just you and me…nobody else can get in."

He nodded and his eyes stared into mine. His eyes were unlike anything I had ever seen before…they were completely captivating and I found myself taking a deep breath so that I could focus.

His arms were around my neck and his body was pressed against mine. The music was fast and the beat was pounding but I figured we should start out slow.

He whispered into my neck, "The music is too fast, Jay…what if I can't do it?"

Luckily, I was always prepared…like a good soldier always should be. I pulled out my Ipod and Edward raised an eyebrow. I smiled, "First, you can abso-fuckin-lutely do it, Edward. You can do anything you wanna do. Second, I figured we should start out on something slow."

He smiled and nodded as I flipped through the songs. When I found one I thought it would be easy to dance to, I put one bud in his ear and the other in mine. When it started playing, he looked at me questioningly and I just smiled, "Don't judge me."

He laughed and laid his head on my shoulder as Otis Redding played. I started moving slowly to the music and he followed suit…only he was very rigid and would barely move.

I smiled and brought my hands to his waist, "Edward? I know you can move your hips better than that…c'mon, baby boy…dance with me…"

I started moving his hips and I watched as his eyes closed and he let out a breath. It took him a minute but then he began moving with me on his own. My knee slipped between his legs and I could feel him growing hard against my hip. His arms tightened around my neck as my lips went to his.

We kissed softly as his fingers separated my curls and mine brushed along his back underneath his shirt. And we danced…not at all to the beat of the song that everyone else was dancing to but we were so lost in each other that it didn't really matter…which isn't all that uncommon for us.

When the song ended, he smiled at me, "I liked that."

I smiled back, "Oh yeah? The song or dancin' with me?"

He ducked his head and I saw a faint blush cover his cheeks, "Both."

We sat back down cuz he wanted another drink and I wanted a cigarette. I pulled him into my lap and he laughed, "Aren't I crushing you yet? I could get a chair…"

He started to stand and I yanked him back down and wrapped my arms around his waist, "Uh uh…sit your pretty ass down here, baby."

He giggled and began sipping on his next drink. As he worked on that, one of the guys at our table leaned over, "Hey man, we're going to go out back and smoke…you guys want to come?"

I nodded, "Hell yeah."

I couldn't drink but a motherfuckin' joint would hit the spot right now.

Eddie downed his drink and laced his fingers through mine as we walked out through the back of the club. One of the guys lit up a joint and soon enough, I was feeling much more relaxed.

I raised an eyebrow when Edward took the joint. He shrugged, "Do you care?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not your fuckin' dad, man…you don't have to ask my permission for anything. I just want you to let loose, Eddie…have some fun…do stupid shit…be a fuckin' teenager."

He smiled and blushed again as he took a big hit from the joint. But it was too big and he immediately started hacking.

I rubbed his back, "Ya gotta take baby hits, Eddie…I know you smoked with that douche bag back home but…"

He coughed out, "I didn't inhale…"

Now I laughed, "Seriously? Then why were you even smoking?"

He looked up at me through blood shot eyes and smiled sheepishly, "I was trying to make you jealous but was too afraid to do it without you."

_Aww…sweet little fucker…_

When the joint came back around to me, I smiled, "Okay, Eddie…I'm gonna teach you how to do a shotgun."

He furrowed his brows and I just smiled, "It won't be as harsh on you, okay babe. Just inhale and hold the smoke as long as you can when I press my lips to yours, okay?"

He nodded and stood there, concentrating all hard and shit…it was fuckin' adorable.

I put the cherry in my mouth and wrapped my lips around the joint so that just the end was sticking out between my lips, then I grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled his lips to mine. As soon as I felt them, I started blowing out slowly so he could breathe the smoke in. I held the hair at the nape of his neck and his hands slid around my waist and then into my back pockets as he pressed me against the wall.

He groaned against my lips and I felt him hard and thick against me. He slowly pulled away and those pretty green eyes were half lidded, looking so fuckin' sexy that I couldn't help myself. He was still holding the smoke behind those cherry lips and my mouth was fuckin' watering cuz the thought of the taste of Edward's mouth and some bud…

I handed the joint off as I grabbed him by the back of his neck and brought his lips to mine again. His lips parted easily and the smoke slowly seeped out between us as we kissed. But he was so worked up that he stumbled into me until my back hit the wall again. We both laughed a little but we didn't stop kissing. And he tasted fuckin' incredible.

_Pot and Edward's tongue…mmm…_

His hands slid into my back pockets again and pulled me into him. One of my hands twisted in that crazy bronze hair while the other trailed down his chest and stomach and on it's way to wrap around that hard, thick…

"Holy shit, I'd like to be in the middle of that sandwich!"

Edward pulled away and both of us were panting as we looked over. It had escaped our attention that we were surrounded by a ton of people during our little make out session.

Joe was laughing, "You two are crazy! I have never seen any two people into each other more than you!"

Trevor smiled, "Joe, look at them. I can understand why they get so worked up."

Edward's whole face was red and he buried his head into my shoulder. I whispered in his ear, "They're just teasing us, Edward. Remember what I taught you back when we were in Junior High? Attitude is everything."

He nodded and took a deep breath before lifting his head. Then I watched as he flipped the switch, just like he used to do when we spent our first summer together.

He smiled that sexy crooked smile and his eyes were brilliant as he smoothly said, "That's all you get for free…if you want to see the rest of the show, it's going to cost you."

Everyone's eyes went wide and I laughed, "Nice, Edward."

He started laughing and soon everyone else was too. I wrapped my arm around him and we walked back inside. He whispered into my ear, "Thanks for the save, Jay."

I smiled, "Anytime, Eddie."

Then his familiar blush came to his cheeks again as he smiled, "By the way…that shotgun was fucking awesome."

Some of the guys had stayed behind and saved our seats for us. Edward began working on his next drink and it wasn't long before he was bouncin' around in my lap again.

_Motherfuckin' son of a…there's gotta be a place I can take him and fuck him somewhere in this club…the bathroom's probably not a good place…hmm…over by the DJ booth…behind the curtain…that's a possibility…or I could just take him home and fuck him…fuck it, I could just fuck him in the car…the windows are tinted and the parking lot we're parked in is pretty dim…_

I was brought out of my serious contemplation about where to fuck Edward when he jumped out of my lap and grabbed my hands, "Dance with me, Jay…the music sounds _so fucking _good…"

He was flushed and his eyes were lidded and bloodshot but he wore a beautiful crooked grin. I smiled at him, "How much have you had to drink tonight, Edward?"

He giggled and I started laughing as I stood up and wrapped my arms around him, "You're fuckin' wasted, huh?"

He giggled again and nodded.

I laughed and grabbed his hand, "Well, then let's dance before ya sober up."

I led him out into the sea of men where we found our own little space on the dance floor. I was still half expecting to have to coax him a little but my Eddie always surprised me.

He turned in my arms with his back against my chest. He wrapped his arms back behind my neck and then the boy proceeded to grind the fuck outta my cock with that oh-so-fuckable ass of his.

That was all it took for me to fucking love this music too.

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck as my arms wrapped around his waist. I couldn't stop myself from letting my hand graze the length of his cock through his jeans and I was rewarded by his ass pushing harder against me and a growl.

_I fuckin' love it when he growls…_

Our bodies moved together to the music, in perfect sync with each other as we always seemed to be. Soon we were sticky with sweat and panting from either the heat or desire…probably both.

My cock was fuckin' pulsing against my zipper and screamin' at me, "Free Monsieur Le Cock! Viva la freedom!"

But before I could start plannin' a jailbreak for Grande Le Cock…Edward groaned in my ear and whispered, "While you were spacing off earlier, Trevor told me about a blind spot back behind the DJ booth. He said guys sometimes hooked up behind that long curtain. Let's try it out, Jay…I fucking need you…"

_I fuckin' love this boy…_

I took his ear lobe between my teeth and told him so, "I fuckin' love you, Edward…"

He laughed softly and whispered, "I fucking love you too, Jay…I'll love you even more when you're inside me…"

_Fuck, I love this boy…I know I already said it but…__**fuck**__, I love this boy…_

I grabbed his hand and started pulling him along. Once we reached the wall with the long velvet red curtains, I pulled them back and Edward gasped.

Apparently Trevor was right cuz there were several guys behind the curtain against the wall. Some were giving blow jobs, some were fucking, and the others were well on their way to doing one of those two things.

I pulled his ear to my lips and whispered, "Edward, I don't know if I wanna fuck you in front of all these guys…"

He groaned and whined, "Please, Jay…please…I need you so fucking bad, baby…who cares about these guys…I don't…I want you…please…"

But for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to do it…Edward wasn't some cheap fuck against a dirty wall…

Then he turned in my arms and pushed his hard cock against mine as he moaned, "Jay, I'm going to fucking explode if you don't touch me soon."

I took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, "Alright, Edward…I'm gonna take care of you, okay baby?"

He nodded as I pulled him back behind the curtain. My back was against the wall as I pulled him to me and kissed him hard while my hands began undoing his belt and jeans.

Then I pulled away and dropped to my knees. Edward gasped as he looked down at me, "Jay, what are you…"

I pulled his cock out through the hole in his boxers and winked at him before taking him into my mouth.

He moaned loudly as his hands pressed against the wall and he pushed himself even deeper down my throat.

I could already taste the drops of pre-cum leaking from his plump head. His dick was hard as granite and the head was all purple and engorged from straining for so long. I knew it wouldn't take him long.

I swallowed around his cock before coming back up and swirling my tongue around the tip. My hand wrapped around him and squeezed up with a flick of the wrist, causing drops of his nut to drip onto my tongue that I stuck out, waiting for his sweet taste.

He watched me with hooded eyes as I flicked my tongue over his slit and sucked the head gently into my mouth before plunging back down.

Now his hips started moving and one of his hands came down and tangled in my hair, holding me in place as he started fucking my mouth.

My dick was fuckin' pounding and starting to hurt it was so hard.

I kept my eyes on his as he thrusted desperately into my mouth and it didn't take long until his eyes rolled back in his head and his dick twitched and pulsed in my mouth. He came deep down my throat and I swallowed every last drop and licked the tip a few times to make sure I got it all.

I tucked him back into his jeans and redid everything before standing back up. He was panting as his arms went around my neck. He whispered a breathless, "Thank you, Jay."

I laughed, "You're welcome, babe. You ready to get outta here now?"

He shook his head and pulled away with that sexy crooked grin, "I still want to fuck."

_The boy is fuckin' insatiable…_

I groaned cuz I was already suffering from a serious case of blue balls and hearing him talk like that wasn't helping my case any.

"Edward? I just…do you really wanna fuck here? In front of all these guys?"

He giggled as his hands went to my zipper, "What happened to carpe diem and all that shit, Jay?"

I was leaning against the wall as he undid my jeans and pulled my cock out. He stroked it a few times as my eyes closed and my hands gripped his hips.

He whispered, "Do you have any lube, baby?"

I took a breath and nodded, "Left pocket."

He chuckled as he reached his hand into my pocket and pulled out the baggie.

Now he laughed, "Condoms, lube, and are those baby wipes?"

I nodded and smiled as I opened my eyes, "You know I like to be prepared…and before you say it, I'm not a fuckin' boy scout."

He just shook his head as he smiled, "Were you planning on getting lucky tonight?"

I smirked, "Luck has nothing to do with it."

He pulled out a condom and ripped the top off with his teeth. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming out as he furrowed his brows and concentrated real hard on putting the condom on me cuz watching him do that was damn near enough to make me cum.

Once it was on, he opened the pack of lube and smiled, "Why the condom anyway? We don't even use them."

I was so fuckin' worked up now that I could barely talk, "Didn't wanna…make a mess…"

He laughed and leaned into my ear, "But I like the way it feels to have your hot cum leaking out of my thoroughly used ass…"

_Motherfucker…_

I grabbed the lube from his hand and spun him around, pressing him face first against the wall. I tore off the condom and just sorta threw it somewhere, hopefully not hitting anyone but I was too fuckin' horny to give a fuck at this point.

I squeezed some lube into my hand and growled, "Pull your fuckin' jeans down."

He giggled as he slid them down over his hips and then he wiggled his ass at me as he looked back over his shoulder with that crooked grin.

I slid a wet finger inside of him and he pushed back easily onto it. So I added another and began stretching him out. He was driving me crazy with the moaning and pushing against the wall so that he was fucking himself on my fingers.

I pulled them out and stroked my cock a few times until it was slick and ready.

Then I put my hand between his shoulder blades and whispered, "Stay still, Edward…I don't wanna hurt you…"

He nodded and I started to slowly push the head in. My eyes squeezed shut as I pushed past that tight ring of muscle. He was so fuckin' tight and so fuckin' warm…

He stayed still until I was finally all the way inside of him. I pulled out slowly until just the head was in and then pushed back in with one deep thrust.

He moaned, "Oh fuck, Jay…harder…"

I gripped his hips and began fuckin' him good and hard against the wall. He was pushing back into me and I could hear the slapping of our skin even over the loud music. We were both panting and growling and sweating.

It wasn't gonna take me long either.

I wrapped my arms around his waist to hold him as I closed my eyes and buried my face into the back of his shoulder.

My knees were aching from the exertion and my whole body was on fire. He turned his head and whispered, "Cum for me, Jay…cum deep inside me so when I feel it trickling out later, I'll remember this…"

I growled, "You're such a fuckin' dirty boy…ya want me to cum?"

I stopped moving and whispered, "Make me cum, Eddie."

I could feel the muscles in his stomach clenching against my hands as he started ramming himself back onto me…thoroughly fuckin' me hard and proper.

We were both growling and I could taste the salty sweat on the back of his neck as I sucked and bit while he fucked me.

A minute later, I bit down hard so it could muffle my screams as I fuckin' exploded inside of him.

My whole body pulsed and trembled as he continued fucking me through my orgasm. I finally reached down and stilled his hips cuz I couldn't take anymore.

I panted, "Jesus Christ, Edward…ya gotta stop, baby…I can't take no more…"

He laughed softly and turned his head, "I think I like being called a dirty boy."

I laughed now too, "Well, come here and give me a kiss, dirty boy."

We kissed softly and when it ended, I slowly pulled out of him. I pulled up my jeans and Edward pulled his up.

I heard someone say, "Hey Blondie!"

I turned my head and saw one of the guys that had been out in the alley earlier. He grabbed my hand and slapped a hundred dollar bill in it before smiling, "Seeing the rest of the show was definitely worth the money."

Then he turned and left.

I just stood there a moment, completely fuckin' dumbfounded. Edward and I had just fucked in front of God knows how many guys. Now I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as I turned to Edward, "Can you believe that guy…"

But Edward was slumped over in the corner fast asleep.

I shoved the money in my pocket and crouched down, "Dude, wake up! C'mon, Eddie!"

He lifted his head and his eyes were almost completely red as he hummed, "Hmm?"

I put my arms around him, "On your feet soldier…"

He giggled as I helped him up.

I had my arm around his waist, "Can you walk? Ya gotta wake up, baby…I can't carry you outta here…"

He mumbled sleepily, "What are you talking about? I'm not even tired…"

And then his head fell to my shoulder and his body went limp.

I cursed under my breath. I should've known better than to get him off in public…he always passes out afterwards.

I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do. I was strong and all but even I couldn't carry him all the way to the car and still open the doors and shit…not to mention that if any cops saw us, Edward would definitely warrant a public intoxication arrest.

I tried again, lifting his chin and pleading, "Edward? Come on, man…you gotta wake up for just ten minutes and you can sleep on the way home!"

He mumbled but his eyes didn't open, "I'm not drunk…"

I groaned and mumbled, "Fuck it…"

I picked him up and carried out from behind the curtain. I carried him to the nearest chair and sat him down. I stood next to him as he leaned against me, snoring, and I looked around to see if maybe I could find one of the guys from our table to help me out.

Instead, I saw the two guys that had been at the table behind us that I was watching earlier walk up, hand in hand.

"Looks like your boyfriend had an excellent time."

I sighed, "Yeah, I can't wake him up and I can't get him to the car by myself."

They smiled and one of them spoke, "Would you like some help, son?"

I nodded, "That would be real nice of you, sir."

I had watched them together earlier that night and I was a pretty good judge of character so I trusted these guys.

They laughed in unison and the taller one stuck his hand out, "I'm Jack and this is my husband, Eli."

I smiled and shook their hands, "I'm Jasper…this is my boyfriend, Edward. Thanks for the help."

Jack looked down at Edward for a moment before sighing, "Okay, you get him from that side and I'll get this one. Honey, will you get the doors for us?"

Eli nodded, "Of course, babe."

We both wrapped an arm underneath Edward's shoulders and lifted him to his feet. It wasn't as hard to get through the club with the extra help.

Eli motioned for us, "Let's take him through the back door, the front always has cops out there."

Once we got out into the alleyway, Jack stopped, "Which way is your car?"

I threw a look down the alley to the street, "That way and then left about a block."

He nodded and we continued carrying Edward along. Eli laughed, "So, I take it, this is the first time to the club for you boys?"

I laughed, "Yeah, first and last…for awhile anyway."

Jack smirked, "Yeah, maybe you should wait until you're twenty one next time…that should be, what, in about five years."

I grimaced and Edward now laughed and mumbled, "He's only sixteen but his cock is full grown…"

I laughed, "Classy, Edward."

He giggled again, "Who were those guys trying to fool? Their wings weren't even real…you could see the Velcro…did I say that right…_Velcro_…that doesn't even sound like a real word…"

Then he leaned over to Jack and whispered, "Did you know that Jasper's an angel? I mean, a real one. He has wings and everything…real wings…they're beautiful…"

Then he grabbed the back of my shirt and lifted it up, "See? I'm not crazy…they _are _real…"

And then he was snoring again.

I cleared my throat, "Uh…sorry, he's really trashed."

Jack smiled, "Trashed or not, he thinks you're an angel. You must be doing something right, kid."

Eli laughed, "How long have you guys been together anyway?"

Edward opened his eyes and smiled, "Like twenty three years now…"

And then he crashed again.

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Well, let's see…we had our first kiss at thirteen…we started makin' out at fourteen…we fell in love by fifteen…so it's been three years now…fuck, it seems like a lot longer than that…"

Edward mumbled again, "Forty seven years…"

Eli smiled, "That is so cute. You two are an adorable couple. Jack and I have been together since our freshman year of college. It will be seventeen years next month."

I smiled, "That's fuckin' awesome. I can't wait till me and Eddie have that kind of history together."

Jack laughed now, "Yeah, I remember the first time I had to get a buddy of mine to help me carry Eli to the car. He couldn't hold his liquor and he yakked all over my shoes."

Eli smirked and then Edward mumbled, "That's too bad…those are really nice shoes…"

We finally made it to the parking lot and I fished the keys outta my pocket as Jack and Eli kept Edward upright. I quickly opened the passenger door and they helped me get Edward inside. I laid his seat back and buckled his seat belt before finally turning to Jack and Eli, "Hey, thanks for the help. You guys really saved my ass tonight."

They just smiled and Jack shook his head, "No need to thank us. I could see that you needed help and was afraid that someone might try and take advantage of you. You two really need to be careful when you're out and about…you're so young. You haven't been drinking, have you because we could call you a cab…"

I shook my head, "No, sir, I haven't been drinkin'. I stayed sober so I could drive."

He nodded, "Okay, then, well it was a pleasure to meet you, Jasper. Drive home safe."

I nodded, "I will. Thanks again."

They turned to Edward and Eli laughed, "Good night, Edward…it was nice to meet you."

Edward was curled in the fetal position as he mumbled, "It's weird that I'm gay because I fucking love tacos…"

Eli smiled, "Lots of water and Tylenol in the morning…"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Good night, Jasper. Take care, boys."

They turned and left and I quickly shut Edward's door and was soon driving us back home.

Edward was out but was constantly mumbling about random crazy shit…

"This bed is sooo comfortable…"

"I hate broccoli…brussell sprouts are okay…but only if they have cheese…cheese rocks…"

"Come to the dark side, Jay…"

"I like Wal-Mart…Kmart sucks…"

"Garden gnomes scare the shit out of me…"

I was laughing my ass off but trying to keep it down so I wouldn't wake him but suddenly he shot up, wide eyed and pointing out the window.

"Look, Jay! Taco Bell! I fucking love tacos! Can we stop? Please?"

I figured that it might be good to feed him, it might soak up some of the alcohol. I pulled in the drive thru and ordered my boy a shit load of tacos and a large ice water.

He killed the tacos on the way home and was passed out again by the time we got there.

I did manage to get him coherent enough to make it inside the house. He couldn't make it up the stairs though so I picked him up and got him to the bed. I laid him down and pulled off his socks and shoes. Then I unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans off.

I stripped down to my boxers and curled up next to him. I fell asleep in no time.

I was awakened by the sound of Edward throwing up in the bathroom. I pulled myself out of bed and walked in. He was hugging the toilet as he groaned, "Don't watch me, Jay…it's really gross…"

I smiled as I grabbed a washcloth and got it wet, "Hey at least you didn't yak on my shoes."

He looked up at me with furrowed brows, "Huh? Did I throw up on your shoes?"

I shook my head, "No, baby boy. Here, this might help."

I laid the washcloth across the back of his neck and he sighed, "That feels so good."

I sat down on the floor next to him and rubbed his back as he went at it a few more times.

When it seemed like he was done, I helped him up and brushed his teeth for him. Then I gave him a big glass of water to wash the icky taste out of his mouth.

I helped him back to bed and grabbed some Tylenol. He washed them down and took a few more drinks of the water. I re-wetted the washcloth and laid it across his forehead as he curled up on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and he sighed, "You're my best friend, Jay…I love you…"

I kissed his hair and smiled, "I love you too, Edward…now get some rest, baby, so you can feel better tomorrow."

I was exhausted and fell asleep again right away.

When I woke up the next time, the sun was streaking in through the window. Edward had somehow managed to sleep with his entire body on top of mine. He was curled up and snoring peacefully.

I wrapped my arms around him and gently rolled him over to the side of me. But when I tried to slide my arms away so that I could get out of bed, his hand reached out and felt around until it felt mine. Then he gripped my hand in his and pulled it over his heart. His fingers started brushing my fingertips and he sighed with a soft smile, "Mmm…lovely…"

I couldn't help but smile as he slept. I reached my free hand up and very softly ran my fingertips over his smooth lips.

I sighed, "Mmm…lovely…"

I watched him sleep for awhile and just enjoyed the moment. Edward was beautiful when he slept…I mean, he was beautiful all the time but when he was sleeping well, he was…kind of angelic or some shit.

There wasn't a trace of anxiety or doubt on his face…he was peaceful. It was…lovely.

Eventually, nature called and I had to get outta bed. I took a piss and headed downstairs. It was almost one o'clock and I knew I was gonna have to talk to my dad soon. My stomach churned at the thought.

I stepped out on the back patio and lit a cigarette. I really didn't wanna deal with my dad sober. The only reason we were able to tolerate each other as long as we did was cuz we were both always trashed.

I finished my square and went back inside. Eddie was still sleeping so I went to the bar and looked through the cabinets. Em had said we could drink so I grabbed a bottle of vodka and walked into the kitchen.

I poured some in a glass and jumped up on the counter. I sighed and started just swishing it around a little…

_Maybe if I can hold out long enough for Edward to wake up, he'll talk me out of it…he'll make me feel better and I won't need this shit…_

But he didn't make it in time and by the time he did come down the stairs, I was pretty fucked up.

I looked up and smiled, "Mornin', darlin…you feelin' alright?"

He smiled, "Yeah, I don't feel that bad…thanks for taking care of me."

I shrugged, "S'no problem, Eddie…"

He furrowed his brows and started walking over to me, "Jay? Are you drinking?"

I giggled, "Yeah…sorry I tried to wait for you but it was takin' too long…"

He came over and picked up the vodka bottle and started screwing the cap back on. Then he took the glass from my hands and put it in the sink.

He walked over in front of me and put his hands on my knees as he looked up at me, "Jasper, what's wrong?"

I shrugged, "Nothin'…I'm good…everything's cool…how are you?"

I was getting a little dizzy as I looked down at him and he wrapped his arms around my waist, "Let's get you off this countertop, Jay."

I shook my head, "No…I don't wanna leave this countertop…I'm happy here…"

He sighed as he reached up and held my chin, "You don't have to leave the countertop if you don't want to, Love…I just don't want you to fall."

I mumbled, "That short fall from _this _countertop to _that _floor is the least of my fuckin' worries, Edward."

He slid his hand to my cheek and I closed my eyes and curled my face into it. He whispered, "What are you worried about, Jay?"

I took a deep breath as my stomach twisted, "I gotta talk to my dad, Edward. I gotta talk to my dad and he's gonna be pissed…like, super pissed. He can take this all away from me. He can make me go back to Texas. I'm happy here cuz I'm with you and he can take me away from you. I don't wanna go back. I'm happy here…on _this _countertop…with _your _arms around me…I'm happy and I'm scared it's all gonna go to hell again."

He jumped up on the countertop next to me and pulled me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he whispered, "No matter what happens with this phone call, we're going to be alright. Worst case scenario, you do have to go back to Texas…it won't be like last time, Jay. You'll have your phone so we can talk everyday, you can use some of that money your grandma gave you to buy a computer and a webcam so we could see each other that way…hell, you could even get an Xbox and we could play games online together. If it happens, it's only two years until we're eighteen, Jay. We can make it two years."

I pulled away and looked into those pretty green eyes, "You're willing to wait for me?"

He smiled, "You silly boy, I would wait an eternity for you."

I smiled now, "Edward? You're my best friend too."

He furrowed his brows, "Huh?"

I laughed, "Last night right before you fell asleep…you told me that I was your best friend…and then you passed out for the hundredth time."

He blushed as he grinned, "Man, I was really wasted last night. I don't remember anything after that blow job you gave me."

"Um, Edward? You don't remember us fuckin'?"

He shook his head, "No…wait…did somebody pay us?"

I laughed, "Yep, a hundred bucks…if college doesn't work out for us, Eddie…we can always make a career in porn."

He rolled his eyes, "A career in porn? Jay, if we were porn stars…we would own the whole damn industry…I mean, look at us…we'd be billionaires. Boys gone wild…"

He laughed now and jumped off the counter. I wrapped my arms around him and let him help me to my feet. He let out a deep breath and handed me the phone, "Come on, babe…let's get this over with."

I nodded and followed him into the living room. He sat down on the couch and laid his long legs along it as he pulled me in between them. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he played with hair. I curled up on his chest and closed my eyes.

After a minute, I took a deep breath and mumbled, "Fuck it," before dialing my aunt Barb's house.

"Yello?"

"Hey Jeremiah, it's Jay."

"What up, cuz?"

I closed my eyes and focused on the beat of Edward's heart, "Is daddy there?"

I heard him sigh, "Yeah, man, he's here. He doesn't know for sure yet so you can always deny the fuck out of it, Jay. You don't have to tell him that you're…uh…y'know…"

I let out a breath, "Yeah, I know I can deny it…I'm scared half to death to tell him but I'm done lying. If he asks me then I'm gonna tell him the truth. I am who I am…and he can deal with it or fuck off…in fact, I'd prefer it if he'd just fuck off…"

Jeremiah laughed, "You're one hard headed son of a bitch, cuz…but ya got balls…big hairy Whitlock balls…and I was thinkin' that I could talk to the guys for ya if ya wanted me too…I mean, if this shit's gonna be made public, you're gonna need your family if ya come back to Texas."

I grimaced, "I dunno, man…what do ya think the guys will say? I'm sure they ain't gonna be too cool with it."

He huffed, "Dude? Ain't not one of em got any room to judge you! Brandon has this freaky midget fetish and I walked in on Josh last year getting spanked by a girl in a Corrections Officer uniform…we all got our issues, man…you just happen to like big purple headed dicks…y'know…whatever…"

I smiled, "You're a silly motherfucker, Cuz."

"Yeah, I know…hang on a sec, Cuz…I'll go get Uncle Wayne."

I heard some yelling as he called for my daddy. My stomach twisted again when I heard his voice.

"Jasper Wayne Whitlock, where the hell are you?"

"Um…up north."

"I want your ass back here now, Jasper!"

"No, I'm spending the summer with my friends…"

"Did you say no to me? What the hell's gotten into you, boy? Was that bitch right? Are you a fuckin' faggot now? You hangin' out with your little queer friends?"

I rolled my eyes, "Dad? Since when have you ever given a fuck what I do? I didn't even see your sorry ass for three fuckin' years and now you wanna try and be my fuckin' dad? Fuck you!"

"Listen here you little shit…I came to that miserable fuckin' town to see you and you were nowhere to be found! I guess I know now that you were off with your little fuckin' boyfriend takin' it up the ass!"

I laughed, "Yep, you're right, dad. I love being fucked in the ass…Edward has a nice, big, juicy dick and I love to suck it and fuck it…"

"That's enough, Jasper! I want you back home by the end of the week! End of fuckin' discussion!"

I screamed, "No, it's not the fuckin' end of the discussion you drunk fuck! You never wanted me before! Why now? You left me with mama and all those fuckin' men she was with! Do you have any idea what the fuck I've been through? I have scars all over my fuckin' body cuz you didn't give a fuck! They beat the shit outta me…mama would disappear for fuckin' days at a time and leave me alone with no fuckin' food in the house…they taught me how to rob and steal and do drugs…who do you think gave me the fuckin' knife that I got busted with in school? Who do you think gave me the drugs that got me locked up for six months? Did you ever visit me? Send me one fuckin' letter? No…you didn't give a fuck when I needed you, well I don't fuckin' need you anymore, you fuckin' piece of shit!"

"I couldn't take you away from your mama, son! She needed you!"

I sat up and stomped off outside to smoke a cigarette, Edward was right behind me.

"Mama needed me, huh? So, you put the needs of some bitch who wouldn't even stay sober for you ahead of your only son's?"

He snapped, "Show some fuckin' respect you little prick!"

I yelled back, "Why? Cuz you and mama taught me to be all well mannered and shit? The only people who have ever taught me anything is the fuckin' Cullen's! This, right now…this is me actin' the way you taught me! All you do is scream and cuss and fuckin' bully me! But guess what, dad? I ain't a little kid no more! And one thing you did teach me was to stand up to fuckin bullies so fuck you!"

"If I would've known that that little fairy doctor and his god damn goody two shoes wife were gonna turn you into one of them, then I would've hauled your ass back home years ago!"

I sat down on a patio chair and Edward sat beside me. He started rubbing the back of my neck and he whispered, "Calm down, Jay. You're better than this."

I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm, "Look, dad…if Dr. Cullen and his family wouldn't have helped me…I would most likely be locked up right now. They gave me a place to stay when no one wanted me…they fed me…bought me clothes…did you know that before I left school last year, I had a 3.7 gpa? I was on the starting defense on the football team…I had friends…I had a future. If I go back to Texas, I lose it all."

He chuckled like the asshole he is, "So, it's about the money, then? You're just a fuckin' gold digger now like your mama?"

"I know you think it's about the money cuz that's what mama always taught me…go after money…but that has nothin' to do with it. I know that I could tell Carlisle anything and he would never raise a hand to me or call me a bad name…when I was hurt after I got jumped, Esme took care of me without shoving pills down my throat…she listened to me and let me be mad or be sad without laughing at me or callin' me a pussy…you think their lives are perfect but you're wrong. They've all had it rough…even rougher than me but they still treat each other right. They don't drag each other down…"

"I'm not tryin' to drag you down, Jasper…I'm raisin' you the best way I know how. You can't be soft, son…this world will rip you apart if you can't take it. Ya think my daddy didn't beat the shit outta me when I was a kid? It's called 'tough love', son… "

I shook my head, "No, daddy…it's called abuse and neglect. I have enough things goin' against me already without havin' you and mama against me too. I mean, I couldn't even talk to you today until I was good and fucked up and you're nearly 3000 miles away from me right now. I don't wanna be like this…I want out. I want a fuckin' chance, dad. I ain't never asked you for nothin' my whole life but I'm fuckin' beggin' you now…_please_…don't make me come back…give me a chance…I swear I'll check in with you…you can even come and visit me and I'll come visit you…please, daddy…"

He was quiet for a minute and my heart stopped cuz that meant he was considering it.

But I should've known better.

"You have until the first of August to come back home, Jasper. If you're not here, then I'm gettin' the cops involved and the fuckin' Cullen's will be first on my list."

I couldn't stop myself as the anger welled up inside of me and I fuckin' exploded, "Fuck you! I ain't fuckin' scared of you! I got plenty of money to last me awhile and I ain't ever comin' back! Get the cops involved, you mother fucker, and see what kind of shit I tell them! Half the scars I got are from you!"

He was calm now but I could hear the slurring of his words as he chuckled, "Son? Who do ya think the cops are gonna believe? Some little punk who's already been locked up twice or a former Marine Staff Sergeant? I know you ain't that smart, son, but use your fuckin' head. Now, I want you home by the first of the month and that's a fuckin' order."

And before I could say anything else, he hung up.

I was so mad I couldn't see straight. Edward pried the phone from my hand. I sat there for a minute and tried to calm myself down. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths…but then I hit the fuckin' brick wall on the patio.

I hissed and pulled back my hand, my knuckles were fucked and bleeding but I felt better. Edward grabbed my wrist and I screamed, "Fuck!"

He grimaced, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you…"

I shook my head, "You didn't…"

He examined it very gently and asked, "Does it feel broken?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, "No…just hurts like a son of a bitch."

"Come on…let me get it clean and bandaged."

He led me inside and washed it off underneath the sink. I hopped up on the countertop as he started wrapping it up for me.

I sighed, "You see, Edward? This is why I didn't wanna leave this countertop."

He looked up at me and I could see the worry in those pretty green eyes, "Jay? Are you running?"

I groaned and ran my good hand over my face, "I dunno, man. I don't know what I'm gonna do but I gotta figure this shit out soon."

He nodded and continued bandaging my hand. I heard him whisper softly, "If you run, I'm coming with you."

And I seriously thought about it for like ten seconds, before sighing and lifting his chin up to look at me, "Edward, I can't let you do that. You have school and a family who actually care about you. I'm not letting you fuck up your whole life for me. I won't."

He hopped on the counter next to me and put his hands on my hips, "I'm not asking for your permission, Jay. I can't be apart from you and not know where you are or if you're okay. It nearly killed me last time."

I closed my eyes and thought about what happened last time we were apart. Images of Edward in that hospital flashed through my mind…pictures of him lying there with tubes shoved down his throat as they flushed him with charcoal to keep him from dying due to an accidental overdose…visions of him staring out the windows for hours, completely detached from the real world…

_I can't put him through that again…I can't put Carlisle and Esme and Peter through that…fuck, I'm going back to Texas…_

**Next chapter, the gang comes for a visit before the boys head home…also, I have no idea how many chapters this story will be…I'm thinking possibly about ten more chapters but don't hold me to that cuz I don't really plan shit out too much. I thought about just ending it all sweet and tied up with a pretty little bow…but then I thought, fuck it…if you guys are gonna keep reading, then I'm gonna keep writing…so hopefully, you guys will stick around…I'll let you know when we're close to the end…**


	42. Chapter 42

**If you guys are interested in a really good E/J story that's finished, check out "Trusting Love" by arianawhitlock. She also has a sequel that's finished as well but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. And she has an awesome fic called Punishment. Give them a read and leave her some love.**

**Playlist: Say by John Mayer**

**Eddie's POV**

"I'm not asking for your permission, Jay. I can't be apart from you and not know where you are or if you're okay. It nearly killed me last time."

If he was running, then I would go with him. Just the thought of losing him threatens my mental stability. I need him.

He closed his eyes for a moment then he jumped off the counter and grabbed my hand, "C'mon, Eddie…let's go out on the patio so I can smoke."

I followed along and we sat down across from each other in a couple of patio chairs. He lit up a cigarette and I felt the need to put my foot down, since he hadn't said anything.

"Look, Jay…I'm being serious. If you run then I'm going with you."

His head fell down for a moment as he took in a deep breath. I studied the way the sun hit honey highlights in his hair and glistened off his tan, toned back.

Then he lifted his head and gave me a dimpled grin, "You know, it's really fuckin' adorable when you get all assertive and shit…"

I blushed but couldn't help but grin back just a little, "You're an asshole."

He leaned back on the chair and stretched his long legs out, then he looked at me through red-rimmed navy eyes, "I know I'm an asshole…but will you come lay with me anyway?"

_As if he had to ask…_

I nodded and walked over to him. He scooted over a little so that half of my body was draped on top of him while the other half was on the chair. My head was laying on his shoulder as my arm laid across his chest and I twirled his curls around my fingers. He was lying on his back as his fingers brushed through my hair.

He sighed, "You know me, Edward. I'm not runnin' anywhere. I'm gonna have to go back to Texas. As much as I fuckin hate it…he's my legal guardian and I have to do what he says. If I don't, then I might just fuck things up worse than they already are."

I closed my eyes and focused on the way his body felt beneath mine. The way we fit so perfectly…his hair tickling my ears as I nuzzled into him…the roughed, raised scars that flittered across the softest skin…honey curls falling through my fingers…

I needed to remember everything about him before we're separated again.

"So, you're going back to Texas?"

My heart was already aching.

"Yeah…and we need to have a real serious talk, Edward."

Now my heart stopped as I snapped my head up and looked into his eyes, "You're not going to break up with me, are you?"

His eyes went wide and his hand came to my cheek, "Fuck no! Jesus, Edward…I can't believe you'd even think somethin' like that."

I let out a sigh of relief and laid my head back down, "What did you want to talk about then?"

His hand slid down to my chin and lifted it up as he looked down into my eyes. His eyes were clouded with emotion…a hurricane of indigo and sapphire.

"We need to talk about how we're gonna deal with being apart. I mean, let's face it, Edward…we both fell apart last time. We can't do that again. I can't go back and be sane if I'm worried about how you're dealing with it. I need you to swear to take care of yourself…take your medicine…talk honestly with the Doc…tell your mom and dad about anything weird that happens right away. If you can do that for me, then I swear to you that I'll stay sober…and I won't lose my temper…well, I won't fight with no one if at all possible…I gotta defend myself obviously but I won't start no shit with anyone and I'll be the bigger man and try to walk away first."

I studied his ethereal face…and could easily recall hundreds of times when my lips had been pressed to every inch of it.

I let out a breath, "I swear, Jay. But I need more from you."

He furrowed his brows and whispered, "Whatever you need…"

I sighed, "I need you to remember who you _really _are at _all _times and never forget it…you are the kid who stands up for the little guys against the bullies…you are the creative boy who paints his own Sistine Chapel…you're the one who worked from sunrise to sundown for an old man and woman who adored you just because you thought it was the right thing to do…you're the smart guy that scored in the top percent of our class last year…you're my angel…my Superman…my heart…my soul…my past, my present, and my future…swear to me that you won't forget, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how much they try to drag you down…swear."

His eyes were glistening as they closed and his lips pressed against mine. His rough fingertips slid across my cheek and I hummed in contentment. His strong sure lips moved against mine, soft but needy as he whispered a breathless, "I swear."

When he pulled away, his eyes opened and he whispered, "I need more too."

"Anything, Jay."

He held my face and brushed his thumb across my cheek, "I need you to swear that you won't stay in the house all the time…swear that you'll hang out with your friends and do things and go places…have fun…swear to remember who you _really _are…you're the brilliant boy who learned how to play the piano all on his own…you're the creative boy that brought the outside world in as you with your paper flowers and stars…you're the talented guy who wrote me a song and you're the guy who had balls big enough to sing it in front of a bunch of rednecks…you're the tough guy that grabs a pool stick and stands by my side as I start shit with a couple of grown ups…you're the crazy boy who tells me to hold your stuffed bear while you argue with demons and scare the shit outta a whole group of assholes…you're fuckin' amazing, Edward…and I don't think you'll ever realize just how much in awe of you I am…swear to me that you'll remember that when things get tough…when you wake up from a nightmare…when you panic and you're struggling to breathe…close your eyes and remember…swear."

I was struggling to breathe now but not because of a panic attack. I nodded and whispered a breathless, "I swear."

Now I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. We just lay there and kiss all afternoon until we eventually fall asleep again, both of us exhausted from the heavy emotions and declarations of the day.

I wake to my phone ringing. Jay is still sleeping so I speak quietly and tell Emmett everything that happened today and that if they want to spend a little time with Jay before we have to go back, then they need to come quickly. He agrees, saying that they'll leave tomorrow and be here in a few days.

I pull myself up, practically peeling myself from his body as we clung together sweaty and exhausted and desperate.

He stirs and pulls me back down, whispering, "Just five more minutes, baby…please…"

I close my eyes and lay my head over his heart…committing every beat of my favorite lullaby to memory for when I need it.

A few minutes later, we drag ourselves up and into the shower where we make love against the wall.

Reluctantly, we dress and head downstairs to eat. Just like second nature, he hops up on the counter and talks to me while I cook. He helps every so often by chopping something up or stirring something.

We take our plates outside and sit at the patio table just as twilight sets in. As we're eating, Jay clears his throat and I look up at him.

He sighs, "Hey Edward? I was thinking about somethin' else too. I think we need to get your parents involved."

I set down my burger and nodded, suddenly not that hungry anymore, "Yeah, we do."

He takes a breath, "If we would've gotten them involved with the whole 'James' situation sooner, we may not be in this mess."

I rest my elbows on the table and run my fingers through my hair, "I know that you and me together…we can face anything, Jay. But imagine how much stronger we'll be with our family and friends helping us too. And the fact still remains, that we're not quite grown yet. I can honestly say that after these last few months…I'm exhausted and don't feel like dealing with all this grown up stuff for awhile."

He sighed, "Yeah, me neither but we have to, babe. Can I have your phone?"

I nodded and handed it to him. He pressed dad's number on speed dial and put it on speaker phone.

"Hello, son."

Hearing his voice actually made me feel a little better so I smiled slightly, "Hey dad."

Then Jasper cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Um…hey dad."

I could hear the smile in my dad's voice, "Hey, son."

Jasper closed his eyes, "We need to talk to you…we need help with something…"

He proceeded to tell my dad everything that had happened about his dad and about that ugly girl trying to out him. My dad listened intently and stopped every so often to ask a question.

Once he was finished, my dad spoke, "I'm so proud of you boys seeing that this might just be something too big for you to handle on your own. Thank you for letting me help. Now, the first we thing need to do is look into emancipation in the state of Texas. I think given your situation and background, that you'd have a good shot at it but I'm no lawyer. I'll make some calls. Second, I need your father's phone number."

Jasper's eyes went wide, "Carlisle, I don't know think…"

"Son, I know you're worried. Please trust me. Let me handle this for awhile and you boys just take a step back and breathe. This is part of my job, son, so just stop worrying and let me do it."

Jasper smiled a little, "Okay, um here's my Aunt Barb's number…"

He rattled off the number and my dad took it down. Then I could hear the sound of shuffling in the background, "Okay so you've got until the first. That means you two need to be back here by July 20th. We need to make sure we have plenty of time to go over everything and for the drive down to Texas…"

"Wait a second, Carlisle…I don't know if you guys comin' to Texas is a good idea. I mean, my daddy's gonna be fu…er, freakin' livid."

My dad sighed, "Jasper? Do you really think I'm going to just let you go somewhere that I don't feel you're safe? We'll figure something out so that if you do go back, you won't be alone. Just hang in there for awhile and let me look into a few things, okay?"

Jasper let out a breath, "Okay."

We talked to dad for a little while longer, letting him know that Em and the gang was coming down and we would head out in a couple weeks to make sure we got home in time.

Once we hung up, I laid my head down on my arms. I felt completely drained.

"Hey Eddie?"

I raised my eyes and looked into his baby blues, "Hmm?"

He smiled his beautiful dimpled grin, "Enough of this grown up shit for awhile…"

Then he jumped up and grabbed me around the waist. Before I knew it, he had thrown me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and was running down to the beach.

I was laughing hysterically, "Put me down, Jay!"

As he ran out into the water, he smiled, "As you wish, darlin'."

Then he threw me into the shallow water while he laughed his ass off. I jumped back up, soaking wet from head to toe. We were both fully dressed and I couldn't help it as I laughed, "Oh you're going to get it, Whitlock!"

He winked and took off running, "Come and give it to me, Cullen!"

I took off after him and since I was faster than he was, I was soon dragging him into the water with me…although he wasn't putting up much of a fight. We played around for a few hours while people walked by, looking at us as if we'd lost our minds…if only they knew.

Eventually, we collapsed in the sand, still laughing as we lay next to each other. He turned on his side and propped himself up on one elbow.

"Hey Edward?"

I turned and mimicked him, "Yeah, Jay?"

He looked sinfully beautiful. His wet jeans and white t-shirt clung to his body…his curls darkened by the dampness and dripping onto his cheeks…the moonlight above providing just enough light to see the midnight of his eyes looking into mine under long onyx lashes…

_Breathtaking…_

His free hand reached out and rested on my hip before clenching my wet shirt and pulling me closer. He whispered, "C'mere, pretty boy. I'm ready to do grown up stuff now."

I scooted closer until our bodies were flush…but even that wasn't close enough. I slipped my leg in-between his and my hands up the back of his shirt while I pressed my lips to his.

I grasped at his back, willing to get him even closer to me. He moaned softly into my mouth as our bodies moved together very leisurely, taking the time to just relish in the moment.

It was a very good thing that the beach was pretty deserted by this point because making out with a wet Jasper on the beach in the moonlight…yeah, I wasn't letting that opportunity slip by…this would just be one of a million little memories that would help me through when he was gone.

The next few days flew by as Jay and I just hung out. Sometimes we'd go to the beach or play video games…he taught me a couple of trick shots in pool and even taught me how to stack a deck of cards and cheat in poker…it was a lot of fun.

We had sex on every available surface in the house and that too, was a lot of fun.

I hadn't been taking a whole lot of pictures on our drive but I was making up for it now. I got Jay to agree to do a photo shoot for me...a late birthday present. I took hundreds of pictures…in various states of dress. He tried to act like he hated posing for me, but he was totally loving it. I could tell by the way he would smirk or do something really sexy like running that damn tongue stud over his bottom lip…just to watch me squirm…

_Asshole…sexy, mind-numbingly beautiful asshole…_

And I even agreed to let him take a few of me. He also 'accidentally' left my camera on 'record' mode while we made love and then talked me into watching it with him…and so we made love again.

It had really been a fantastic summer, despite everything.

So, as I lay on top of him, half dazed from post coital bliss from riding him on the couch right after we woke up this morning…I couldn't keep my eyes open and neither could he.

"Oh fuck, my eyes! My eyes are fucking burning!"

_Hmm…that sounds kind of like a big old grizzly bear…_

"Eww…I'm not sitting on that couch."

_Just for that, we're fucking on your couch, Rosalie, the first chance we get…_

"Where the hell is my damn camera?"

_Brady's always losing stuff…_

I felt Jay squirm underneath me and I groaned at the loud voices. I lifted my sleepy eyes and it took about a good five seconds before I realized that all of our friends were standing there as we lie on the couch…completely nude and I was on top…they were all staring at my naked ass.

I gasped and buried my head into Jasper's neck. I felt my whole body begin to burn in embarrassment.

"Oh my god, his ass is even blushing! That is just adorable!"

_I hate you Alice…_

Just then I felt something being draped over me and I looked up into Jay's eyes. He smiled as he pulled a blanket over me that had been draped over the top of the couch.

"Let me up, baby, so I can get dressed. Just pull the blanket around you."

I nodded and started to get up. Jasper laughed, "Unless you fuckers wanna see if the legend is true…I suggest ya turn around."

Then I heard Tommy sigh, "Brady, quit being such a perv and turn around."

Brady huffed, "But I just wanted to see if the legend was true! Ugh! Fine!"

Then they were both giggling.

I stood and pulled the blanket around me tightly…even over my head a little because I didn't really want to look them in the eye just yet.

Jay stood in all his naked glory and pulled on a pair of jeans…no boxers…

_Oh for the love of God…do not even think about getting a boner now…_

"Alright, I'm decent."

_Understatement of the fucking year…_

Everyone turned around and Alice practically jumped into Jasper's arm as she squealed in excitement, "Oh my God, I've missed you so much! I have no one to shop with anymore! You look great though! I can't believe how tan you are and the sunlight has really brought out the highlights in your hair!"

Jasper laughed as he hugged her back, "I missed you too…and I could actually use some new clothes so we'll go shopping soon, darlin'."

She squealed again and Rosalie laughed, "Quit hogging him, Alice!"

Alice smiled and pulled away as Rose came up. She just smiled at Jasper for a moment before speaking, "It's good to see you again. You really do look great."

Jasper just smirked, "Yeah, I know."

She laughed and so did he.

"You look really good too, Rose."

She smirked at him now, "Yeah, I know."

Then Jasper smiled and opened his arms, "C'mere, Ice Queen…I know I'm hot but I promise not to melt you."

She laughed and wrapped her arms around him. They hugged for a minute and I swear I heard her whisper, "If I had a brother, he would be just like you."

And when I thought about it, it was kind of true. They both put on tough exterior's but on the inside they were just plain old softies.

Once she pulled away, Em smiled, "Bro, you know I love you, man…but I ain't going nowhere near that hand…I have a very good idea where it's been at."

I literally felt like I could spontaneously combust at any moment.

Jay just cocked his head and smiled, "Oh yeah? Well, I have a pretty good idea where your hand's been at too, man…"

Em laughed and held out his hand, "Dirty fucker."

Jay laughed and grabbed his hand, "You're a dirty fucker too, man."

They did the one arm man hug thing but did throw in a couple extra pats on the back.

Then Brady walked up and smiled, "Nothing was the same without you, Jay. I really missed hanging out with you."

Jasper smiled back, "Me too, Brady. Now, c'mere and give me a hug…I know you're dyin' too."

Brady briefly looked over at me and I couldn't help but laugh, "Yes, Brady, it's okay."

He smiled and threw his arms around Jasper. And I wasn't at all jealous because I actually trusted both of them completely. I knew that neither one of them would ever do anything to hurt me. They were both really good friends.

_And besides, Jasper is in love with me…I'm the only one he wants…_

That little realization was nice…but then I remembered that I was still standing there completely nude underneath a blanket.

I mumbled as my cheeks burned…both sets, according to Alice.

"Um…so, yeah, it's great to see you guys again. Um…if you'll…uh…excuse me…I think I'm going to go get cleaned up. Adios!"

I turned and held the blanket tight as I walked away.

_Adios? What the hell? Was that Pedro slipping out? Shit, __**is**__ Pedro slipping out?_

I looked down and let out a breath of relief that he was, in fact, still hidden underneath the blanket.

I heard some giggling but chose to ignore it.

I hurried upstairs and quickly showered. Then I pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt. I decided not to put on my shoes until we figured out what we were doing tonight.

I was running the towel through my hair again when I heard Tommy's voice, "Hey Edward? You done, man?"

I stepped out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom, "Hey Tommy. I'm done. Is everything okay?"

He smiled, "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean, I know you were really embarrassed about what happened earlier."

I shrugged, "Yeah, I was…but I'm over it…well, until Emmett or Brady bring it up again anyway."

He sighed as he ran a hand through his messy dark hair. It was wavy and tangled a bit at the ends where it curled, probably from having the windows down in Emmett's Jeep. He looked good though, a little dark under the eyes but his weight was better. I looked over in the mirror and noticed that I had gained back the weight I had lost when Jay was gone. I looked better now too. I hoped like hell I could keep it together if we were separated again.

He smiled a little, "You look really great, Edward."

I smiled back, "You too, Tommy."

Then I remembered the last couple of times we had talked on the phone and suddenly I felt very bad because I had been so caught up in Jasper that I ignored my friend when he needed me.

Tommy and I had spent a lot of nights talking at the hospital. We would lay in our beds facing each other from the opposite sides of the room…no light other than the moonlight that would break through the small barred window…so quiet that we could hear each other's every breath…every sob…every scream. And as selfish as I felt for it, I was relieved to have him with me. I was relieved that I wasn't alone.

I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Um, hey Tommy?"

He furrowed his brows at my sudden change in mood, "What's up, Edward?"

He came over and sat down at the other end of the bed.

I looked up into his turquoise blue eyes, they never changed…they were always an electric sort of blue.

"Um, I need to apologize for the way I've treated you the last few times we spoke…"

He smiled softly and shrugged, "Don't worry about it, Edward…I mean, yeah I was a little pissed at first but I've had some to think about it and I understand. I know how much you missed him…I was there, remember? I remember how bad you hurt…it's just…can I say something, without you getting pissed at me?"

I nodded and he flopped down backwards on the bed and closed his eyes.

"I've been really worried about you, Edward. I know that things are great now that you're back with him but…what happens when he's gone again?"

I started to say that we had worked out a plan of communication so he shouldn't worry but he interrupted me, "Wait, Edward…just let me finish, okay? Please?"

I nodded again and he turned to his side and rested his head on his arm, "When I first came to Forks, I felt like my life was over…like I just wanted to sleep and never wake up…only sleeping didn't help because of the nightmares. I was fucked in both worlds. James didn't have to threaten me…I would've ended up exactly the same way regardless. And then when I came to and I woke up in the hospital…I felt even worse because I couldn't even kill myself right. I was mad at you for saving me…I didn't want to be saved."

I gulped and mimicked his position.

He took a deep breath and continued, "When you came into that room and told me about your past…I don't know what it was…I really kinda started looking up to you. I mean, I had known you for a couple of months and you were always really smart and funny and nice…but I never realized how incredibly strong you had been too. I guess I figured that if you could come through those things and still be a whole, real person…then maybe I could too."

He began running his fingers over the patterns on the bedspread as he continued quietly speaking, "I thought about you every day while I was in the hospital struggling to try and fix myself again…and then one night, they brought you into my room. Your eyes were closed and you were all…broken. No one told me what happened to you and I laid there all night long and just watched as you screamed and cried…not really sleeping but not really awake either. And I watched for three weeks…and in those three weeks, I'm not ashamed to say that having you there, helped me. I wasn't so focused on my nightmares anymore…I just wanted to help you through yours."

I didn't know what to say. We had never really talked about the three weeks I was comatose in the hospital. I never even thought about how it affected him. I really wasn't a very good friend…I would have to work on that.

He looked up at me for the first time really, "One night you kicked your blanket off…I came over and threw it back over you but my hand ran across your shoulder as I pulled it up…you reached up and grabbed my hand…pulled it into your neck and just kinda cuddled my arm. I tried to gently pull it away but you just kept whispering 'Please don't go…don't leave…stay,' so I let you cuddle up to it and I fell asleep next to you. The next day, you woke up."

I suddenly felt my heart pick up a little as I whispered, "We didn't…um…do anything…"

Tommy furrowed his brows, "Of course not, Edward. I would never take advantage of you like that."

I let out a breath, "I'm sorry…that was a stupid thing to ask. Why are you telling me this now?"

He looked down at the bedspread again, "I just wanted you to know that if things get bad again for you…if you feel like you're going to break…come to me…I can watch you scream and cry…I can be there for you…I can even hold your hand if you want me to."

I smiled and could feel my cheeks blush a little, though I wasn't quite sure why.

_Was he hitting on me? No, he's just being a good friend…quit being a jerk…I mean, Jay holds hands with Alice all the time and I've seen him take Brady's a few times…this is no different…_

I slid my hand out palm up, "You're a really good friend, Tommy. Thanks."

He smiled a real smile and took my hand in his, "So are you, Edward."

And the minute his hand touched mine…I knew it _was _different.

"Hey Eddie, what's takin' you so…long?"

I looked up and there stood Jasper, shirtless and barefooted…and he looked pissed…and hurt.

I yanked my hand away from Tommy's and we both scrambled off the bed. I couldn't breathe as his storm blue eyes glared into mine.

Tommy spoke, finally breaking his glare, "Jasper, it's not what you think. Edward and I are just friends. We've been through a lot together…"

Jasper's fists clenched and I shuddered because I knew he'd never hit me but I wasn't so certain about Tommy.

But instead, he just clenched them a few times and took a couple deep breaths before saying, "We've been through a lot together too…can I ask you something, Tommy?"

Tommy nodded, "Sure, man."

Jasper was surprisingly calm as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the dresser, "Do you wish you and Edward were more than friends?"

I didn't understand why he would even ask Tommy that, because he had been nothing but a really good friend to me.

Tommy shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down as he mumbled, "He's your boyfriend."

Jasper smirked, "That's not what I asked."

_Wait…_

I watched as Tommy raised his head up and spoke clearly this time, "Yes, Jasper…I do wish that we were more than friends but I know how he feels about you. Are you feeling insecure about your relationship or something?"

_Oh shit…how the hell did this turn into a pissing match?_

Jasper smiled, "Nope. Edward's mine. I know that. I trust him. I just wanted to make sure that you understood it too because even if I'm not around…he's still mine. So, you can just keep on wishin' cuz it ain't ever gonna happen."

That was kind of mean and I started to say something to him, "Jasper…"

But Tommy cut me off, "Edward is a person, Jasper. No one owns him. You're so fucking possessive of him. Do you really think you're going to be the only guy that Edward will ever be with? You're both sixteen, for Christ's sake…"

Jay turned toward him and glared as he sneered, "Do you really think he would ever leave me for you? Keep fuckin' dreamin', man…"

Tommy looked over at me and sighed, "No, I know he would never leave you for anybody…because he can't even see anyone but you. He's so wrapped up in you that he doesn't even notice the rest of the world around him when you're near. I bet he's never even seriously looked at another guy. It's not healthy. He's too young to be this tied to you. I saw what it did to him when you left…and I've been through a lot of fucked up shit, Jasper, but watching him go through that was the scariest thing I've ever seen. I care about him…I'm his friend…I just don't ever want to see him suffering that much again."

_That's not true…I notice other guys…I mean, we've talked about actors and musicians and stuff…and I'm possessive of him too…there's nothing wrong with that…_

Jasper looked kind of like he had the wind knocked out of him and I was suddenly upset with Tommy, "You just don't understand it, Tommy. I know that to an outsider it looks crazy…maybe it is…but I need him…"

Tommy sighed as he finally broke his eyes from mine and looked down at the floor, "I know you do, Edward…but as your friend, I just wish you were with him because you loved him and not because you couldn't survive without him. There may come a time when you don't have him, for whatever reason…and I just want to make sure that you're going to be okay if that happens. And I hope that we can still be friends because I like talking to you…and you can't really hold it against me that I think you're fucking unbelievably hot…I mean, look at you…but I don't want you to be mine…I want you to be yours and just hope that you like talking to me too."

My chest felt like it was constricting and I didn't understand why. I felt my cheeks heat up again and I squeezed my eyes shut. A moment later, I felt those familiar loving fingertips run across my cheek and the deep southern drawl, "Breathe, baby…"

I gasped for a breath and looked up into his midnight eyes. I loved Jasper. I needed him. Nothing would change that.

His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to him as he whispered, "Fuck it, Edward…if we're crazy then we're just fuckin' crazy cuz I can't even breathe without you…"

I nodded and whispered back, "I'm yours, Jay."

He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss me gently. His smooth honey lips reassured me that he was mine as well.

When he pulled away, I noticed that Tommy was gone.

I let out a breath and shook my head, "I'm sorry, Jay…we were just talking and I thought that it wouldn't be any different than when you hold Alice's hand…but it _was _different. I shouldn't have done it but we really didn't do anything but talk. He's just my friend…you know how I feel about you."

Jasper's smile fell as he looked down at the ground, all arrogance completely evaporated, "I know how you feel about me, Edward…but if we're separated is it gonna be enough? Two years is a long time and before I came along, you wouldn't let anyone touch you. I remember how you used to flinch anytime one of the guys would touch your arm…and now, you don't flinch. All of your friends can touch you and hug you and I think it's really great, Edward. You need that…to be touched. It helps keep you connected to the real world. And if you say that there's nothing between you and Tommy then I believe you."

I whispered in his ear, "I love you, Jay. Thank you…I thought this was going to end in an ugly fight."

He pulled back and looked into my eyes as he smiled, "I'm gonna have to get used to the fact that other people are gonna want you, Edward. You're too fuckin' perfect for you to go unnoticed. I just gotta have faith that what we have is real and that no one can fuckin' touch us. I just need to know that no one else's touch makes you feel the way mine does…"

I moaned softly as his fingers trailed down my ass until he had a firm grip and was pulling me closer to him. His other hand slid underneath my thigh and gently lifted my leg up around him as he laid me back on the dresser top.

My body erupted into a million tiny little pleasure sensors as the feel of his denim covered cock slid against mine and the hard cold dresser against my back while Jasper's strong, hot body pressed me into it…his warm breath on my neck and his golden curls tickling my cheeks as he hovered above me…

I managed a breathless, "No one could ever make me feel the way you do, Jay."

He raised up and smiled, "And no one will ever get to touch all those secret places that make you squirm and beg, right?"

I smiled back, "Right. Only you, Jay. I'm yours."

His baby blue eyes gleamed as he smiled that beautiful dimpled grin, "I'm yours too, Eddie. No matter where I'm at…I'm yours."

Then he laughed, "As much as I'd really love to rip these fuckin jeans off ya right now, we do have a whole house full of fuckers who drove a long damn way to see us. I'll get'cha later, baby."

I huffed a little but knew he was right. He raised up and then I hopped off the dresser. He took my hand in his and we started to walk downstairs. He asked me, "Did you even know that Tommy liked you?"

I shook my head, "No, not really."

He sighed, "I figured you didn't…after I calmed down, anyway. Just be careful, Edward. Don't lead him on. I remember what it's like to want you and not be able to have you…I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Now, that I have you…losing you is the scariest fuckin' thing I can even think of…I love you, Edward…just never forget that, okay?"

I pushed him against the wall and kissed him soundly, hoping to push any insecurities away.

By the time we got outside to the back patio, things were just like I remembered. Emmett was drinking a beer and cooking some hamburgers on the grill. Rosalie, Alice, and Brady were in the pool. Tommy was messing around with the sound system, trying to find some music.

Emmett smiled over at us, "Everything cool?"

Jasper nodded as he grabbed a beer, "Yeah, man. No worries."

Emmett let out a breath and went back to cooking and Jay walked over and started helping him.

And it was just like old times. We all laughed and messed around and just hung out. As great as it had been with just me and Jay, I was really happy to have all of our friends with us too.

It was beginning to reach dusk when we moved the party to the beach. Em and Jay got a fire started while Tommy and Brady were goofing off in the water. I was sipping one of Alice's famous Pina Colada's while she braided Rosalie's hair.

"So, Alice, why couldn't Jane come?"

She sighed and looked down, "We actually broke up about two weeks ago."

"I'm sorry…that sucks."

She just smiled softly, "It's okay, we're still friends. We just didn't have any time to really spend together. She was always so busy with Gracie and school and working…I was happy with what she gave me but she didn't feel like it was fair so we decided to just chill for awhile and be friends. I love her to pieces…I'm sure I always will but I think she was right. I need affection and attention…lots of it!"

She giggled and Rosalie laughed.

Brady came up running and flopped down on the sand. He was dripping wet and laughing, "Okay, enough swimming for tonight. I'm ready to party. I need a man."

Tommy laughed now as he sat down beside him, "You're always looking for a man. You don't have to be in such a rush, Brady."

Brady smirked, "I've got needs, Tommy."

Tommy rolled his eyes and popped the top off his beer. He took a long drink and then lit up a cigarette. I took another drink of my third Pina Colada and couldn't help but notice the way Tommy looked in front of the fire and moonlight. The black waves crashing behind him that only seemed to make his onyx hair shimmer more against the soft white rays of light. The fire illuminated his face as he smiled over at Brady and just shook his head. His lips were different from Jay's. His were a little smaller but plumper…more of a rose color than the pale pink I was used to seeing. His electric blue eyes were a shocking contrast against the red and orange flames behind him. He was really quite stunning when I took a moment to look.

Then I immediately felt my chest constrict at the thought that I was sitting here checking out Tommy. This really _was _the first time I had ever noticed another guy besides Jasper. It felt foreign…different…but not entirely horrible. That made me feel even worse. What the hell was wrong with me? I had the most incredible boyfriend in the whole world and I'm checking out my friend…I'm a horrible person.

_Am I a slut? Does Jasper ever check out other guys? _

Tommy and Brady went inside to change into some dry clothes. I continued drinking as I watched Jay and Emmett goofing off and hanging out.

It didn't take long until the beach was filled with people. Apparently, Emmett knew a lot of the locals as well as some returning vacationers.

It had blown up into a full blown beach party. Alice was dancing with some brunette girl who was just a few inches taller than her. Rose and Em were dancing now too as him and Jay finished up their impromptu game of football. The music was blaring and the alcohol was flowing freely.

Jasper walked up and sank down behind me, "Will you hand me a beer, babe?"

I nodded and reached over and grabbed one for him. As I gave it to him, he pulled me back against his chest and stretched his long legs out on either side of me. He had been spending a lot of time with Emmett today. I had really missed the feel of his body against mine.

I snuggled back into his chest and he laughed, "You been havin' fun, darlin?"

I nodded, "Yeah…missed you though."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "I missed you too, baby boy."

We sat for awhile and just talked and drank and listened to the music. I knew I was perhaps a little drunk when I couldn't stop my head and shoulders from swaying to the beat.

Jay laughed behind me and I could feel the rumble of his chest against my back. I turned my head to look into his eyes and he smiled, "Wanna dance, babe?"

I smiled back, "Yeah."

He finished his beer in one drink and tossed it into the trash can as he grabbed my hands and pulled me up. I swear I could feel the music vibrating through my body and that thought made me giggle a little.

He was still shirtless and barefooted and I looked up at him as our bodies moved together…he looked absolutely sinful in the soft glow of the fire. He was too beautiful to look at so I closed my eyes and just felt…I felt his hardness against my ass…his strong chest against my back…his curls against my cheeks as his lips and teeth attached to my neck…

I was getting worked up fast…I could feel the heat coursing through my body…

I heard the sound of laughter and opened my eyes to see Brady and Tommy sitting by the fire. There was a guy standing there talking to them and I watched as he held his hand out to Tommy. He took it and soon they were dancing not too far from us. The guy was only wearing a pair of swimming trunks and I noticed that he kept trying to pull Tommy closer but he was resisting.

Eventually, Tommy shoved the guy away and took off walking down the beach. And I really wanted to go and talk to him…even with the distraction of Jasper's body moving behind me.

I turned and looked up at his beautiful face. His eyes opened and he looked confused, "What's wrong, baby?"

I took a breath, "I…um…uh…never mind."

I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck but he quickly pulled away and lifted my chin, "What's goin' on, Edward?"

I took another breath and tried again, "I just saw Tommy dancing with this guy and it looked like the guy was getting kind of, um…grabby. Anyway, Tommy took off down the beach and I wanted to just…um…go check and make sure he's okay."

I saw him take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Finally he nodded, "Yeah, Edward…you should go check on him…he's your friend. Just…don't go far, okay? Please?"

I smiled, "I won't, Jay. Thanks."

He smiled back, "It's no big deal, Eddie."

I started to walk away when I saw Brady still sitting there, by himself now. I sighed and turned back to Jasper, "Hey Jay? Why don't you ask Brady to dance while I'm gone?"

He furrowed his brows, "Are you sure that's a good idea? I don't wanna make you jealous."

I shrugged, "I'll be okay. I trust you both. Just don't enjoy it too much."

He smiled, "Okay. Thanks, Edward."

I smiled back, "It's no big deal, Jay."

I turned and started walking after Tommy but looked back to see the look of pure astonishment of Brady's face as Jasper pulled him up. Any jealousy that I might feel, was completely overwhelmed by that look.

I trudged down the beach for a couple minutes until I finally saw him, sitting in the sand looking out over the water. He looked over and tilted his head with a confused look, "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged as I plopped down beside him, "I just wanted to check on you…make sure you were alright."

He smiled softly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I can't stand for guys to just…feel like they can touch me however they want. Can I ask you something?"

I pulled my knees up to my chin and took a breath as I looked out over the water, "Yeah."

He took a big breath and whispered, "I know that you and Jasper have…ya know…done it…and I was wondering…how do you handle it? I mean…"

He looked over at me and I could feel my cheeks burning.

"You know that Brady and I have fooled around a little and for the most part, I'm okay with him but…I have to concentrate on not freaking out. How do you do it?"

I gulped and shook my head, "I don't know, Tommy. I guess…it's kind of like what you said earlier…when I'm with Jay, I can't focus on anything but him…the way he feels, the way he smells…the way he tastes…"

Then I really turned red and Tommy chuckled, "It's okay, Edward. I want you to be able to talk to me."

I smiled sheepishly and looked over at him, "Okay. So, well…um…what kind of stuff have you and Brady done?"

He turned red now as he looked away, "Uh…mostly just, um…dry humping…some kissing…that's about it."

I nodded, "Okay, well…um…do you find him attractive?"

He shrugged, "I mean, Brady's really cute and everything…but he's not really my type. So…I guess I'm not really that physically attracted to him."

I smiled, "That's probably your whole problem, Tommy. Just looking at Jasper makes me har…"

I stopped and I'm sure my face expressed the complete shock I was feeling as I said it.

Tommy started laughing and shook his head, "A little too much information, Edward."

I could feel my whole face burn as I mumbled, "Sorry."

A moment later he sighed, "It's okay, Edward. Can I ask you one more thing?"

I continued looking anywhere but at him but I nodded.

"Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to kiss someone else?"

I raised my head and furrowed my brows, "No, never. I love him."

He smiled softly, "I know you do, Edward, but do you honestly want to go through the rest of your life without having ever kissed anyone but Jasper?"

"I have kissed other people…Tanya…Jessica…"

He chuckled again, "I mean someone who you might actually be somewhat attracted to, Edward. I mean, another guy."

I shook my head, "I could never do that. He's the only person I could ever kiss."

He sighed, "No, Edward…he's the only person who you _would _kiss…not _could _kiss. You _could _kiss anyone you wanted to actually. You'll never know what possibilities you may be missing because you're too _afraid _to live without him…not because you _can't _live without him. The world wouldn't stop if you two weren't together."

I scoffed, "I am not afraid! Jasper makes me strong…"

He shook his head, "No, Edward! Jasper may inspire your strength but, believe me…it's all you. You say you're not afraid, then prove it. Kiss me and see if the world ends."

I huffed as I started to stand up, "You're not going to trick me into kissing you."

He jumped up and grabbed my hands, turning my body to his, "Stop, Edward…I'm not trying to trick you. I'm just trying to prove a point."

His hands were wrapped around my forearms and the texture of his skin felt odd. It wasn't quite as rough as Jay's but was just as warm. I looked up into his eyes as the wind blew wavy strands of onyx hair in front of electric blue eyes that were lidded and staring into mine. I needed to move…get away fast because when his pink tongue slid out over his plump bottom lip…my breathing hitched and I briefly wondered what it might taste like…what it might feel like…

_This is very, very dangerous for me…I'm just drunk and God knows that drinking makes me horny. That's all this is…it isn't him…I could never want anyone but Jay…he was wrong, if I kissed him, the whole world __**would **__end._

The next thing I knew, plump lips were pressed softly against mine. My whole body was on fire and I felt tingly and weird and kind of like I wanted to throw up. I pulled away with a gasp and took a step back.

He opened his eyes and smiled, "See, Edward…the world's still standing…"

I looked around, half dazed and weary to see the same dark water crashing against the shoreline…the same white moon cascading down across the wet sand…the music and laughter from the party not too far down the beach…the world seemed completely unaware that I had just been kissed by another man.

He smiled, "Don't worry, Edward. I won't tell anyone. I know it didn't mean anything and I don't want any more problems with Jasper. I just thought you should know that no matter what…the world keeps going. We better get back before he starts to worry about you."

I just nodded and started walking back, still completely dumfounded because he was right…the world hadn't ended…but it had been exponentially changed.


	43. Chapter 43

**Boy, I really pissed some of you guys off. Trust me, there was a reason for what happened last chapter. I hope this explains it all. I guess that's a good thing though, that you guys care enough about the boys to get really peeved at me…anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

**It will probably be a few weeks until I update again, I'm just super busy with real life right now, my birthday is this month and so is my anniversary but I wanted to get this chapter to you guys as soon as I could…**

**Songs are on my youtube, link is in my profile ;)**

**I Need You by Lynyrd Skynyrd, Keep Me by The Black Keys, Everything Changes by Staind, Flames by The Black Keys (just the music, not the words)**

**Jay's POV**

I was so fuckin' grateful to have my friends back. Before Forks, I never really had any real friends so when I lost Edward, I lost every friend I had too. I wouldn't let that shit happen again.

Emmett was my best friend, after Edward. Truth be known, I kinda looked up to him. He was one of the best guys I had ever known. Rose was definitely how I picture my sister bein'. Her skin may be way prettier than mine, but it was just as thick. I didn't worry too much about Rose, especially with Emmett looking after her.

Now Alice sometimes worried me. All the outsiders could see was a bouncy, peppy, happy girl…but I saw a little deeper. I've seen Alice stare blankly at the same page in her book for over an hour…I've seen her gasp for air because she couldn't stop talking…I was pretty sure that she was manic.

Brady…what could I say about Brady? That kid was gonna be just fine. He was funny as hell and sweet and even though he was only 5'7...he was a tough little shit.

I don't like Tommy. And I'm probably gonna end up punching him in the face if he don't quit fuckin' with Edward. He can try and pull this 'I'm just tryin' to be your friend' shit but I knew better. He was manipulating Edward to try and think the way he did. That worried me cuz Eddie hadn't had much practice at dealing with that kind of shit before. He still had a hard time understanding the people around him sometimes. Tommy knew that shit and was taking advantage of it.

But, then again, maybe he had a small point? I didn't want Edward to be with me cuz he was afraid to be with anyone else…I wanted him to be with me cuz he knew that no one else could compare…that no one could love him as good as I did…cuz that's how I felt about him.

Em grabbed the football and a couple beers, "C'mon, dude…let's go throw the old pigskin around…it's been awhile since we talked."

I took a beer and started walking next to him as we made our way down the beach I bit.

"So, Em, how's shit been at home, man?"

He shrugged, "Same old shit, different day. Me and Rosie have been trying to figure out what we're gonna do after school. We only have one year left, man."

I took a long pull from my beer, "Yeah, it sucks that I'm gonna miss it."

He smiled, "I think things are gonna work out, Jay. Carlisle's been working his ass off…Peter's helping him now…and Esme…dude, you've got all these people gunning for you. Me, Rose, and Alice are going to Texas too. We're gonna take my Jeep and follow you guys. Sometimes it's hard to hear just one person…but it's pretty fuckin' hard to ignore eight. And it doesn't matter anyway, man…we're, like…bros and shit."

I laughed, obviously feelin' the affects of the liquor now, "Holy shit, all of ya'll are goin' down there? I can't wait to see the look on my daddy's face…"

Em stopped walking and looked out over the water, "Are you scared, Jay?"

_Em knew me pretty well…_

I sighed, "Yeah, man…shitless."

He nodded, "What happened with Tommy earlier?"

I was grateful that he changed the subject cuz I kinda did wanna talk to him about this, "I walked in and found him and Edward lying on the bed holding hands. Edward told me it was nothin' but he could tell that it was different when he held Tommy's hand…I don't yet if different is good or bad. Can I ask you somethin?"

He nodded, "Yeah, dude."

"Do you think that me and Edward will make it if I go to Texas?"

He smiled, "I'd bet my fucking life on it, man. Look, Jay, I know how Tommy feels about the relationship you have with Edward. I hear it all the time too…me and Rose are too young…too serious…it's not healthy…do what I just do and tell him to mind his own fucking business. He's so god damn cynical anymore, it drives me crazy…I mean, yeah, Rosie and me, we're possessive and clingy and shit…but fuck it, we're still fucking teenagers and we need each other right now. As we get older, we'll learn how to stand on our own a little more. Tommy's just jealous because he wants what you have. Don't over think it too much, man."

That's what I needed to hear…me and Edward would be alright.

I smiled, "Thanks, man."

He grinned, "Ya know, dude…I am a fucking wealth of knowledge…you'd know that shit if you'd pick up the fucking phone once in a while and called me."

I sighed, "I know, Em…I'm sorry I didn't call you. I was just…so fuckin' lost, man."

He looked over and smiled softly, "I know, Jay…but what have you learned?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "I've learned that you're a wealth of fucking knowledge…and we're, like, bros and shit…"

He laughed and jumped up, "Good…now go long, fucker!"

I took off runnin' and turned just in time to catch the ball. This is what I needed right now…a couple of hours to just not think about this.

I spent most of the day just fucking around with Em…trying to give Edward a little space to work this shit out on his own.

But he had been acting off all day. So, when he said he wanted to go talk to Tommy, I told him he should…cuz this will never work if I don't trust him. And if he needs help figuring shit out, then I would just be his best friend and help him.

But as I watched him take off after another fuckin' man…I'm not ashamed to admit that my ego was a little bruised. Brady knew it as soon as my smile fell. He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to some logs that people were sittin' on. He sat next to me and sighed, "What's wrong, Jay?"

I took a breath and looked out over the water, "I think Edward doesn't understand how he feels about Tommy. I made Tommy admit that he liked him today."

Brady nodded, "Yeah, I know. I've told him a hundred times to leave it alone. He just doesn't get you two. He doesn't see it for what it really is. It's love, plain and simple. I saw it the first time Edward kissed you in front of me."

I weakly smiled over at Brady, "Yeah…but Tommy's good lookin' and they're close…"

Brady furrowed his brows, "Jasper? What are you saying?"

I looked down, "Edward went to go find him. I can fuckin' guarantee you that Tommy's gonna try and kiss him."

Brady sighed, "How do you know that?"

I shrugged, "Cuz I would try and kiss him if he wasn't mine…did I ever tell you about the first time we kissed?"

He shook his head and I took a breath, "I wanted to kiss him…I don't think I even realized it yet. We were only thirteen and I told him that he could practice on me if he wanted to. It was his first kiss. I told him that I wouldn't tell anybody and that I would help him if he needed it. Maybe I manipulated him into kissin' me…I don't know…"

Brady huffed, "That's total BS, Jasper! You gave him a choice…he could of easily said no and laughed it off…you gave him a choice and he chose to kiss you. Now, why the hell are you sitting here with me when someone is after your man? Get your ass up and go fight for him!"

I took a long pull from my beer, "I've been fightin' my whole fuckin' life, Brady…I still am. The one fuckin' thing in this whole world that I shouldn't have to fight for is Edward. I need to trust him. I need to know that if somethin' happened that he wouldn't lie to me. I need him to know that he can talk to me about anything. I know him. He's probably really confused right now cuz he's never been attracted to anyone before but me…he probably doesn't know how to feel about it and I pray like hell that he comes walkin' up here in a few minutes and tells me exactly what he's feelin' so I can help him through it. I've always helped him sort this shit out, ya know. Anytime something happened that was new to him…we'd always talk about it…trust me, I'll know if something happened the moment I look into his eyes."

We sat there for a little while as my stomach churned and I tried desperately to keep focused cuz I knew the second I lost focus, I would be findin' Tommy and stompin' a mud hole in his ass. I wanted Edward to come to me…to be honest with me. I fuckin' needed it, especially with the looming hourglass above my head before I might be gone again.

Emmett walked up with my guitar, grinning like a fool, "Dude? You gotta play, man. The lead singer just got into a fight with some asshole and they need a replacement. I can get some music going from the house but it won't be nearly as loud."

_Music always calms me down…_

I nodded and grabbed the guitar as I stood. Em led me and Brady over to the guys and introduced me. They were just some local college band so they didn't have a stage or anything, they just had their shit set up in the sand. We talked for a minute about songs they knew and I was happy that they knew a lot of the same ones I did.

So, I closed my eyes and began playin' "I Need You" by Lynyrd Skynyrd…hopin' like hell that Edward heard this shit and that it made Tommy's skin fuckin' crawl.

As I sang the chorus, I opened up my eyes to see Edward standing there staring at me with red rimmed eyes and a look of pain across his beautiful face. And I knew…

_Something happened…_

I felt my chest constrict as I squeezed my eyes shut for just a second to get my bearings. My first instinct was to beat the fuckin' brakes off of Tommy for touchin' my boy…but I had to try and be the better man cuz if I moved back to Texas, Edward needed to know that I could control myself.

_If he even wants to be with me anymore. Is he gonna break up with me? Does he want Tommy? This can't be fuckin' happening…_

I opened my eyes again and they burned with tears I was tryin' real hard not to shed. I was also tryin' real fuckin' hard to play through the pain…cuz seriously…this shit fuckin' hurt.

As soon as the song was finished, I looked over at Em, "Hey, I need a minute."

He nodded, "Sure, Jay."

I took a breath and started walking the opposite direction cuz I wasn't strong enough to handle this shit right now.

Then I heard his voice singing softly over the mic and turned to see him holding my guitar and looking straight into my eyes, "If you just walked away, what could I really say? Would it matter anyway? Would it change how you feel?"

_Nothing will change how I feel about you…_

"I am the mess you chose, the closet you cannot close. The devil in you I suppose, 'cause the wounds never heal…"

_I know you're all fucked up inside, Edward…I'm fucked up too…_

"But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to forgive me then I could learn to feel."

_I remembered back to the night when he snuck over to my house on Christmas…_

_"Well, it's just…like…I don't know how to…feel things without you around...So on my own…everything just gets jumbled and I don't know how to handle it…"_

"Sometimes the things I say, in moments of disarray, succumbing to the games we play, to make sure that it's real…"

_It's real…_

"But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to forgive me then I could learn to feel."

_I'll help you understand what you're feelin'…_

"When it's just me and you…who knows what we could do…if we can just make it through…the toughest part of the day…"

_We can make it through anything._

"But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to forgive me then I could learn to feel. Then we could stay here together and we could conquer the world, if we could say that forever is more than just a word…"

_It's always been you and me against the whole fuckin' world, Eddie…forever._

"If you just walked away…what could I really say? And would it matter anyway? It wouldn't change how you feel."

_Fuck…you know I'm not goin' anywhere, baby…_

He walked over and stood there while he looked down. I sighed as I reached out with my hand and gently lifted his chin so that I could look in his eyes. They were bright green and wild…his breathing started coming out in short labored breaths…he was gonna have a panic attack if I didn't do something.

So, I ran my fingertips down his cheek…across his jaw…and then along his neck as I leaned in and whispered, "Breathe, baby boy."

He gasped and sucked in a big breath before he just threw himself into my arms. He was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. He was most definitely freaking out. He sobbed out, "I'm so sorry, Jay…I'm so sorry…I don't know what happened…it was so confusing…I pulled away…I didn't kiss him back…but I feel so weird…I know you…hate me right now…but please help me…make me feel better…please…I need you…"

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him even closer as I brushed my fingers through his hair, "I could never hate you, Edward."

After a couple minutes, he calmed down and had himself under control again. I pulled away and took his hand, "C'mon…let's go talk."

He didn't budge as he looked up at me with wide eyes and breathlessly whispered, "Please don't break up with me, Jay…I love you so much…I'm so sorry…"

I smiled as best I could, "I'm not breakin' up with you, Edward…but we need to talk about all this, okay?"

He nodded and followed me along until we were down the beach and out of the crowd. I sat down and pulled him with me. He curled up in my lap and took a few deep breaths.

I whispered, "Tell me everything, Eddie."

He looked up at me and whispered, "I asked him if he was okay and he said he just didn't like for people to feel like they could just touch him however they wanted…then he asked me how I dealt with…um…being with you…like…intimately, without freaking out. And I thought about you…the way you feel and taste…and how just looking at you gets me…um…excited. Then he asked if I ever wondered what it'd be like to kiss someone else. I told him 'no…never'. And then he said that I was afraid to live without you…I can't…I can't stand to feel…weak. He said that I should prove that I wasn't afraid by kissing him…I got up to leave but he stopped me…then he…he kissed me…"

My blood was boiling but I tried to stay calm. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it as Edward scooted off my lap and knelt in front of me. He put his hands on my face and tilted my chin up as he whispered, "I swear I didn't kiss him back, Jay…it only lasted a second before I pulled away…but…it made me feel strange…and then all of his babbling about the world not ending if I kissed someone else…I just felt so confused…and then he said that he wouldn't tell anybody…but I could never lie to you. That's it…that's everything."

I took a drag from my cigarette and nodded. I had to take a moment to process everything before I spoke.

He sat down across from me now in the sand. I reached over and took his hand.

"Edward, thank you for tellin' me the truth. I'm gonna help you figure this out but I gotta ask a couple questions first."

He nodded and started chewing on his lip.

I took a drag from my cigarette and slowly exhaled, "Do you think Tommy's…hot?"

He looked down and closed his eyes, "I never really thought about it before today…but…yes."

I closed my eyes for a second to recover from that little blow. Then I just took another drag of my square before speaking, "Did you wanna kiss him?"

He shook his head, "No…I didn't…but I, um…when he was standing there…so close to me…I wondered…what it might be like…God, I'm just…evil…"

I briefly thought about breakin' every bone in that mother fucker's body before turnin' my attention back to the situation at hand.

_God, this shit was fuckin' hard sometimes…_

He was looking down at the sand now and I smiled as best I could as I ducked my head down, "Hey? You're not evil, Edward. What you're feelin' is completely normal."

He raised his eyes and furrowed his brows, "It doesn't feel normal…I feel…out of control…I don't like it."

I nodded, "Eddie, you've never really been attracted to anyone other than me before…I mean, like, someone you could actually date. Someone who you trusted and someone who knows a lot about you…someone who knows you don't have a lot of experience with this kinda thing…someone who likes you and wants you and fights pretty fuckin' dirty. He took away your control by not givin' you a choice whether you kissed him or not. I never took anything from you without askin'. The first time I kissed you…the first time I touched you…the first time I tasted you…I always gave you a choice…I always will."

He sighed, "I don't understand how I can love you so much and look at somebody else like that…is there something wrong with me…does that make me…a bad person…"

I smiled, "No, it makes you sixteen, Edward. Look at it for what it is…you've been drinkin' so everything seems bigger right now than it really is…a boy who you think is cute talked to you about sex and then got all up in your personal space…it's normal that you thought about what kissin' him might feel like…"

He looked thoughtful for a moment before sighing, "God, I feel stupid…I told him once, that my world began with you…and that my whole world would fall apart if I didn't have you…he doesn't understand…when I said that, I was talking about you as my best friend…the one who always helps me figure stuff out…the one who never judges me…the one who puts my needs in front of his own because I know this must be very difficult for you…"

I ran my thumb across the back of his soft hand and smiled, "A real friend doesn't try and tell you how to feel, Edward…a real friend tries to help you figure it out for yourself."

He looked out over the water, "I thought he was a real friend but all of those things that we went through together…he wasn't there by choice, he was locked in a room with me. But you, Jay…you could've left whenever you wanted to that very first night we met…you chose to stay with me…"

I shrugged, "He probably does care about you but he stepped over some fuckin' boundaries that he shoulda never crossed. We _are _possessive and dependant on each other…but we're young…and we can figure out how to stand on our own two feet without being ripped apart cuz that shit will come with age…as we mature, so will our relationship. All I know, is I fuckin' need you right now, Edward. And now that the world hasn't ended…how do you feel?"

He lifted my hand and very gently pressed his lips against the pad of my thumb. Then he sighed with a beautiful crooked grin, "The world may not end if we're not together, Jay…but it would really suck."

I smiled and took his face in my hands, "Good…remember that shit the next time some mother fucker's all up in your space…if it happens again, what are you gonna do?"

He laughed, "Kick him in the nuts…"

And I had to ask, "Now that you've been kissed by another man…how do you feel?"

He sighed, "Everything feels different now, Jay. Tommy was trying to tell me that I had a choice but I know now that I don't. Jasper, you are the only person who has ever touched me without making me flinch the first time…the very first day we met, your arm was on my shoulder or your hand was touching my back…and it didn't scare me…I craved it…_your _touch…yours alone…even at thirteen years old. I opened up to you the first night I met you when doctors had been trying to get me to talk for years…that's what Tommy doesn't get. Normal people may have a choice…but we're not normal because I know you feel the same way. Look at us from the very beginning…we never had a choice, Jay. We're drawn to each other like moths to a flame…it's not tingles and confusion…it's frenetic white heat and the gratifying knowledge that we have what everyone else wants."

He stood up on his knees and shifted his body so that he was straddling my thigh. I wrapped my arms around his waist while his went around my neck. His soft fingertips played with the curls at the nape of my neck and I ran my fingertips gently along the edge of his jeans at the top of his ass.

He looked down at me as his eyes grew darker, "Maybe in Tommy's world, I would feel the need to explore other relationships to know how I truly feel about you…but to Hell Tommy because I don't live in his world. You and me, Jay…we defy the real world. And maybe I'm insane but I don't care…you'll always be my Superman…you'll always be my angel…and I will never want anyone the way that I want you…"

He leaned down and brushed my lips with his as he whispered, "Song of Solomon 2:16."

I flicked my tongue softly against his bottom lip as I whispered back a breathless, "My beloved is mine and I am his."

His cherry lips parted and I could feel every emotion he had pouring from him like a sieve. I drank him in like a man dying of thirst as his love and gratitude and devotion squelched out any flames of doubt.

When he pulled away, flushed and breathless and hard as a rock…he smiled, "You may not be perfect…but you're perfect for me."

I smiled, "You may be crazy…but I'm crazy for you."

He started laughing now as he rolled his eyes, "That was really cheesy, Jay."

I laughed, "Dude? You're gonna have to face the fact that I'm eventually gonna run out of smooth things to say to you. Will you still love me if I'm not cool?"

He feigned shock, "Someone said you were cool?"

I was grinnin' like a fool, "You're an asshole."

I saw that crooked grin and bright green eyes, "Yeah…will you love me anyway?"

"Yeah, Eddie…I can do that."

I thought about puttin' a beat down on Tommy but then thought, fuck it. I got the boy…he's mine. I could be mature and not resort to physical violence. Besides, it would be way more grown up to just rub it in his stupid ugly face.

I grabbed Eddie's hand and pulled him up, "C'mon, babe. I promised Em I'd play a few songs."

When we got back over to the party, I made sure we were in Tommy's line of sight as I pulled Edward to me and kissed him for all I was worth…I trailed my hands down his back and to his ass where I grabbed two handfuls and squeezed…then I started nibbling that little spot on his neck that makes him growl.

By the time I pulled away, he was breathless and half dazed. I walked over to the mic and grabbed my guitar. I told the guys what I wanted to play and they were cool with it so I looked over at my baby boy and smiled as I began wailin' The Black Keys, "Keep Me."

And as I sang, I looked over at Tommy as he glared back at me.

I sang a few songs and finally they found someone else so I grabbed a beer, Edward's hand and my guitar.

It was gettin' pretty wild so Edward leaned into my ear and whisper shouted, "Let's go somewhere we can be alone."

_That sounds like a fuckin' great idea to me…_

Of course, Tommy had to stop us as we were starting to walk down the beach.

Brady was following behind him rolling his eyes as he muttered, "Don't come crying to me when you get your ass kicked…"

He reached out and grabbed Edward's arm, "Hey wait…"

My first instinct was to hit him…_obviously_…but instead I figured I'd give Edward a chance to stand up for us.

Then I'd hit him…maturity can wait a couple more years…

Edward turned and pulled his arm away, "Tommy? After that shit that you just pulled you'll be lucky to stay my friend…"

Tommy huffed, "Oh my God, did he brain wash you again? Why does he have this kind of hold on you? He's fucking trash…"

I didn't even have time to react before Edward sucker punched him. I laughed, "Oh shit! Good hit, Eddie."

He just furrowed his brows and shook his hand out as Tommy lay there holding his jaw. Then he looked down and sighed, "Our friendship is over. He is the single most important thing in my life and I will stand up for him. And it's too bad because I'm sure you could use a friend right now…I know that you're depressed and angry and you feel completely alone…don't forget that I was in the same hospital as you…but Tommy, you're pushing away everyone who cares about you. I mean, you knew what you were doing tonight. You tell me that you can't stand for people to touch you any way they wanted and then you kiss me when you knew I didn't want it…a real friend would've never kissed me without permission…especially someone who claims to know me so well…maybe we were never really friends at all…"

Tommy stood back up as his eyes began to glisten, "I'm sorry, Edward…I don't know what's wrong with me. I didn't mean what I said about Jasper…he was actually really nice to me when I came to Forks…"

I felt the need to step in now, "Yeah, fucker, I was nice to you…Em's like a fuckin' brother to me and by default, I cared about you too. At one time, I even thought we were friends but let me explain somethin' to you…you kissed _my _boy while he was drunk and after he told you he didn't wanna kiss you…where I come from…that shit merits an ass whoopin'…but since Eddie already took care of that…I'm just gonna say 'fuck off', cuz you may not understand what me and Edward have but who gives you the fuckin' right to judge it?"

He shook his head, "Nobody…I'm sorry. I just care about him and you're so damn possessive and it's like he's in a daze when he's with you…"

I rolled my eyes, "I guess I never noticed cuz I'm always stuck in the same fuckin' daze…this shit isn't one sided…"

He glared again as he snapped out, "Maybe not but you've been around the block a time or two, Jasper, and Edward is naïve and innocent…"

I smiled, "Well, he's not so innocent anymore…"

Tommy clenched his fists, "You're a controlling bastard who will just throw Edward away once you're done with him…"

I think I finally got it.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my calm as I sneered, "I'm not James…"

He glared at me for a minute before storming off.

Edward sighed, "Man, he's really messed up right now."

I nodded, "Yeah, but we're all fucked up, Edward…"

He laced his fingers with mine and smiled, "Come on, Jay…I need to just be with you and forget about the rest of the world for awhile."

I smiled back as we started walking down the beach again but he stopped and grinned over at me, "Um…let's go back to the house so we can have some real privacy?"

He asked it as a question and I laughed, "Uh huh…you just wanna have your dirty way with me."

He chuckled and blushed a little, "Yeah…does that make me bad?"

I smiled, "Hell yeah it does and it's fuckin' awesome."

We said good night to the gang and headed into the house. Emmett kicked us out of the main bedroom cuz he wanted some naughty time with Rosie underneath that mirror…can't say that I blamed him.

So, we walked to our new bedroom and Edward took off running and giggling. I laughed as I walked into the room and saw him sitting on the bed, smiling up at me while he leaned back on his hands. I knew that smirk and that gleam in his eyes…I had seen it many, many nights.

I smiled as I stopped and reached behind me to the door knob. He stood as I turned the lock. Before I even heard the 'click', his arms were around me and his lips were on mine. I pulled him inhumanly close and devoured my sweet baby boy as I walked him clumsily backwards to the bed.

His hands were fumbling with my zipper as my expert hands quickly popped open his button fly jeans and yanked them fuckers down to his knees.

He laughed breathlessly as I pushed him back onto the bed. I could see his pretty cock straining against the dark green boxer briefs as he reached up and yanked me down on top of him.

Our lips crashed together, as did our overheated bodies and immediately, we were grinding hard against each other. Our hands were grabbing clothes and doing our best to rip them off of one another but our bodies refused to part.

I felt his hard cock slide against mine through my jeans and then his hands on my back, pushing them down as hard as he could.

I lifted up and reached down to pop open the button of my jeans and get the zipper down before he tore those fuckers right off me.

When my cock sprang forth, his hand wrapped around it as his other one yanked me back down to him. I pushed into his hand and could still feel his hardness through the fabric of his boxer briefs.

I kicked off my jeans and the moment they hit the floor, I reached down and drug his jeans and underwear down his long legs until they joined mine. He sat up and ripped off his shirt, tossing it aside somewhere as I slowly crawled back up his body…kissing and nipping all those little spots that drive him wild…like the inside of his thighs…he can't take that shit.

Once he was a shaking, shivering mess…I took the head of his plump cock between my lips and sucked gently before plunging down on it.

His back arched and both hands tangled in my blonde curls as he moaned my name over and over again.

I felt him tug at my hair and I looked up at him as I just swirled my tongue around the swollen ridge.

He groaned, "Please, Jay…can't wait…need you, baby…please, Love…"

I let his cock slip from my mouth as he pulled me up to him and kissed me hard.

I broke away with a breathless, "Wait a second, baby boy…"

I reached down to the floor and pulled the small bottle of lube outta my pocket, before settling back in between my boys legs.

I poured a little onto my fingers and then set the bottle aside. I reached down and whispered, "Open up for me, pretty boy."

His legs opened further and he pushed his ass against my fingers. I began preparing him as he pulled me back down to him again.

When he was ready, I gently pulled away and grabbed the lube again. I got myself ready and added a little more lube to him.

Then I leaned down over him with one hand by his head and the other positioning my straining cock at his tight, slick entrance.

I saw him shiver and I whispered, "Are you cold, baby?"

He smiled softly, "A little…"

Then he reached down and grabbed the blanket, pulling it up over us to my shoulders. I looked down at him and smiled, "Ready?"

He nodded as his arms went around my neck, "Yeah, I'm ready, Jay."

Very slowly, I started to push in while I took his lips to mine again. There was nothin' in this whole damn world that felt as good as bein' inside Edward Cullen.

He was so damn hot and tight around my cock…it felt like my whole body was just bursting into flames.

He was right, we weren't normal…we were a hundred times better.

With long, slow strokes I moved in and out of him. Our bodies sliding against one another underneath the blanket, quickly becoming sticky and sweaty as we burned from the inside out.

It was a long slow ride…I took my time and focused on every shallow breath, every bead of sweat sliding down his neck…the taste of him on my tongue and the feel of his hard cock rubbing against my stomach, trapped between us.

I moaned into his mouth as his heels dug into the bed, allowing me to get even deeper inside of him.

I made love to him until I felt like my arms would give out from underneath me at any moment.

Just in the nick of time, he pushed me onto my back and rolled over on top of me. His lips never left mine as moved slowly up and down my cock.

I ripped the blanket away cuz I was completely overheated. And he made love to me for a very long time until I could see his arms straining to hold himself up.

So, I wrapped my arms around his waist and sat up on my knees. He gasped and wrapped his arms around me as I started pushing up into him and he pushed down onto me.

His head was thrown back and I reached down between us and took his swollen cock into my hand. I swirled my thumb over the leaky slit and started working my hand as I moved up into him.

He was shaking and moaning and gasping.

I laid him back down on his back cuz I was on the verge of exploding but he shook his head, "Wait…I want to try something…pull out a minute…"

I groaned cuz I was so fuckin' close but I did what he wanted and pulled out. He took a deep breath and turned over, laying his head on his arms with his ass stuck up in the air.

His eyes were squeezed shut so I leaned over him and whispered against his shoulder while my cock twitched against his back, "Baby, there's no mirror in here…you're not gonna be able to see me…"

He opened his eyes and smiled, "I don't need a mirror, Jay…I see you every time I close my eyes."

I smiled back and leaned down to kiss his pretty lips once more before moving in behind him. I positioned myself with one hand while the other went to his shoulder and held him still. I whispered, "Tell me if you need to stop, Eddie."

He nodded and closed his eyes again.

Once again, I slowly started pushing the head in, releasing a feral grunt when it broke through that tight ring of muscle.

My hand moved in between his shoulder blades to keep him still as I pushed myself slowly all the way inside him.

Once I was in, I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead, "You okay, baby?"

He moaned softly, "Yes…please, Jay…I need you…"

I gripped his shoulders and pulled out and pushed back in, in small short strokes, not wanting to hurt him by just pounding into him.

After a few minutes, he grunted out, "More, Jay…harder…please, baby…"

I leaned up and clenched his hips as I pulled almost all the way out, then pushed back in with one long hard motion.

He gasped and moaned, "Yes…just like that…do it again…"

So, I repeated what I did but still held back cuz Lord knows I really wanted to pound into that tight ass of his but I was too afraid of hurting him.

He started pushing back into me as he pleaded, "Please, Jay…harder…quit holding back…I need you…"

I groaned, "I don't wanna hurt you…"

He moaned as his fingers clenched the blanket, "Hurt me, Jay…please, baby…please…"

I pulled out and sat back as I shook my head, "No, Edward…why would you even ask me…"

_Was something wrong with him? Was this a psychological thing or some shit? I could never hurt him…_

He was up on his knees in front of me, grabbing my face and holding it as he looked at me, "I'm okay, Jay…please, don't over think this. I just want you to stop worrying about hurting me. I kind of like a little pain…I'm not talking about whips and chains, Jay…I'm just talking about fucking. I'll tell you to stop if it hurts too much. Just, please baby…"

He smiled and leaned down to brush his lips across mine as he whispered, "I'm not as delicate as a girl, Jay…I'm not made of porcelain…I am unbreakable…so please, baby…fuck me hard because you're the only boy who will ever get the chance."

That made me smile so I pulled away and pulled him on top of me, "I'll make a deal with ya, Eddie. I will fuck you so hard that I _damn_ well might just break you, but ya gotta be on top. I gotta look at you. I'm not sayin' I won't _ever _do it from the back but just not tonight, okay?"

He smiled down at me and nodded, "Okay, Jay. Deal."

I reached behind me and stacked up the pillows behind my back so I could get some really good leverage. Then I dug my heels into the mattress and smiled, "Giddy the fuck up."

His breathing hitched and his cock twitched as he hurriedly reached for the lube. My cock twitched against his ass as he reached back and got us both ready.

Then he gently lowered himself and took a few deep breaths. He smiled, "I'm ready."

I smirked, "You ain't ready yet, darlin'…grab hold of the headboard, you're gonna need somethin' to hold onto…but grab the bars, don't grab the top cuz I don't want you to get your fingers smashed when that mother fucker slams against the wall."

He groaned as his cock bounced lightly against his stomach while he leaned over and did what I said.

His face was just inches from mine so I smiled, "You ready now, baby?"

He nodded, "I'm ready."

I grabbed his ass and clenched it with my fingers as I pulled him up while I pulled my hips down…then when just the head of my cock was still in, I yanked him down as I drove up.

The headboard smacked the wall and Edward's head fell back with a long groan, "More…"

I dug my heels into the mattress again and gripped his ass so tight that I knew there would be finger shaped bruises on his ass in the morning.

I steadily got a little rougher and a little harder each time, testing the waters before I really let go. But my boy was right, he was un-fuckin-breakable.

I was fuckin' delirious with pleasure as our bodies came together with a loud 'smack' and two feral groans over and over again. Sweat was running down his neck and onto his chest…my muscles ached as I used every bit of strength I had to fuck this boy so god damn good that he could never even think of lookin' at another boy.

He was right about something else too…a little bit of pain is really fuckin' awesome cuz our bodies were trying to go right through one another. The head board slammed into the wall over and over.

Edward had given up on holding the head board and had just collapsed on top of me, his face buried in my shoulder and his fingers clenching my back.

He was moaning and gasping as he peeled his chest from mine and sat up. He wrapped his fingers around his engorged cock and started stroking like a mad man.

I reached up and smacked his ass hard as he screamed out and came in long, white spurts across my chest.

The sound of his scream and the feel of him coming undone, pushed me over the edge and I soon followed with my own screams and came hard deep inside him.

He collapsed again as we both lay there panting and clinging onto one another.

I grab the sheet and pull it up to wipe us off. Then he just snuggles into my neck and sighs, "Mmm…love you, Jay. Forever and ever."

I smile and pull him closer, "I love you too, Eddie. Forever and ever, babe. Sweet dreams."

The next few weeks flew by and although I still avoided Tommy as much as I could, he had apologized again and scheduled an appointment with a therapist when we got back. I had a blast hangin' with the gang and hated leaving. This had been the best summer of my whole fuckin' life and I feared what the fall would bring.

Eddie and I were untouchable. This summer had strengthened us beyond normal measures. He was right, we were unbreakable. So, even as the butterflies in my stomach threatened to break through, I just smiled and squeezed his hand as we pulled up the Cullen's driveway.

Carlisle had told me that he had put together a case for me to seek emancipation in the state of Texas. He had a few friends working on it and was hopeful that we had a good shot. They were all planning on going to Texas with me and that thought was comforting and terrifying all at the same time.

Cuz I wasn't exactly sure what was gonna happen when I saw my daddy…but I knew that I wouldn't have to face him alone this time.


	44. Chapter 44

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long without an update…**

**Hope you guys have enjoyed my new E/J stories Dazed and Confused: A Love Story and Mythological Creatures too. Hell yeah, I'm pimping myself out.**

**Oh and you guys have got to go check out my you tube…my girl SweetMelodyxxx made a video for Lessons Learned. It's gorgeous so go to my faves on my you tube and give her some love because I know she put a hell of a lot of effort into it and it's beautiful! Here's the link too…**

**http: /www . youtube . com/watch?v=G2xas0W Ntl (take out the spaces.)**

**And I hope to see you tonight at The Roasters interview with me and all my boys…it's at 9:30pm (EST) and 8:30 (CT). Here's the link and I'm really looking forward to what you guys have to say…**

**http : /forum . fanfiction . net/forum/Roast_The_Author/82286/**

**It's also on my profile...**

**Song: Beautiful Love by The Afters**

**Eddie's POV**

The closer to home we got, the more nervous I became. This had been the best of the last four most wonderful summers of my life. In fact, I didn't really have summer in my life before Jay. I never went outside, I never had any fun, I never felt the sunlight…but he has brought the sun into my life, scorching and brilliant and all encompassing.

Of course, we've had more than our fair share of darkness. So many times the black storm clouds would try and outshine my light…but those storms always seem to pass because they are no match for the strength of those rays.

Maybe I was being extremely silly but this summer made me feel like…good will always win. Jasper was the best person I have ever known…he was breathtaking in his strength, his beauty, his character…he had to win. Right?

His hand slid over mine and I looked up to see his nervous smile. I gave one back and tried to steel my nerves. We were growing up. It was time to face things head on with confidence because I realized over this summer that being with Jasper wasn't always going to be easy. We had so many obstacles in our way…but if we could just stay rooted into the faith of what we had…we could overcome anything.

We _had _to because we were going to graduate high school together, go to college, get married…we were going to have it all one day. I believed that. I had faith is us.

We pulled into the driveway and Jasper turned off the car. He squeezed my hand and I looked up into his stormy eyes.

I smiled and leaned over, lacing my fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and bringing his plump pink lips to mine. I sighed content and whispered, "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

He smiled against my lips and whispered back, "Bible verse?"

I chuckled a little and nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close as the console would allow.

He kissed me softly and put his forehead to mine as his baby blue eyes opened.

He smiled, "Will you tell me what it means?"

I smiled back, "Yeah, it just means that…"

I could feel my cheeks heating up as I looked down and whispered, "It means that no matter what happens…we'll be okay. Nothing will keep us from being together and being crazy in love with each other. Not time, or distance, or circumstance…if you believe that too then we'll be okay."

He smiled as he lifted my chin up, "We're gonna be just fine, Eddie. Love conquers all…and shit."

We both started laughing and I rolled my eyes as I pulled away, "Real smooth, Jay."

He smirked and before I knew it, he was leaning over me in my seat, one hand behind my back as the other slid into my hair…his hooded midnight eyes looked into mine as he whispered in a deep southern drawl, "Don't you worry now, darlin'…I've got skills."

That was a freaking understatement.

My hands tangled in his hair as he leaned me back and I closed my eyes in anticipation of his honey lips…but instead he stiffened and mumbled, "Um…Edward? Your dad's standin' right outside your door."

My eyes snapped open and I looked up to be met by the shocked eyes of my father. My whole body was on fire as Jay removed himself from me and I sat up, straightening my shirt and taking a deep breath before I opened the door.

I got out as my dad stood there, looking a little dumbfounded. Moments later, Jasper was by my side.

We were all quiet for a moment when suddenly my dad blew out a huff of air and started scratching his head, "How about we just pretend that never happened?"

Jasper let out a breath and smiled, "That would be awesome."

Dad nodded and then opened his arms and smiled, "It's so good to see you, son."

I watched as they hugged each other and both struggled to keep their emotions in check. I heard the front door crash and looked up to see my mom running down the stairs with a wide smile lighting up her face.

Dad let go of Jay just in time for mom to throw herself into his arms as she sighed, "I've missed you so much. Don't ever make me worry like that again."

He smiled against her shoulder and whispered, "I won't, mama. I'm sorry for makin' you worry so much."

And then I heard the crash of the front door again and looked up to see Peter standing on the front porch, smiling down at us as he steadied himself with his old cane.

Mom let go of Jasper and he hurried up the steps and carefully pulled Peter into a hug. I saw Peter's lips moving and Jasper nodding his head in agreement of whatever he said. Peter clapped him on the back a few times and Jay pulled away, nodding again and softly smiling.

Mom and dad now both pulled me into a hug and dad whispered in my ear, "I love you so much son but never…_never_, take off like that again. I found a patch of gray hairs, Edward…this is very serious."

I chuckled and nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. I should've done things differently but thank you for being so patient and understanding with me. I know I'm not easy to deal with sometimes…"

He cut me off as he rolled his eyes and laughed, "Imagine that, a sixteen year old boy being difficult to deal with…"

I laughed and he threw his arm around my shoulder as we started walking into the house. After bringing in our bags, mom started doing our laundry as Peter plopped down in the recliner and closed his eyes.

Dad pulled us aside and motioned to the kitchen. We followed along and he stopped, leaning against the counter and sighing, "I'm afraid he's not doing too well. He sleeps a lot, between the medications and the depression but I do want a moment to speak with you boys."

_Damn it…please, God please…don't let this be a sex talk…_

I looked over at Jay and his expression matched mine. Dad walked over to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair. We followed and sat down in front of him.

For the first time I looked at my dad and saw the results of the anxiety I placed on him…his hair was sprinkled with bits of gray and silver, his eyes wore tired crinkles in the corners…the guilt threatened to tear right through me.

But then he smiled, "Edward, stop worrying about me, I'm fine. I've been working very late the last few nights. Both of you already know how I feel about _your _running and _your _not calling me so I won't beat a dead horse. You're good boys and I know that you're going to make mistakes, I just trust that you won't make the same ones again."

We both nodded in agreement.

He sighed, "Now I know we've talked on the phone about our options but now that you're here, it's time to make decisions. You know I've looked into emancipation and you have a good shot at it but the lawyer I spoke with suggested that you should go for living with Peter instead of us due to the nature of your relationship with our son."

Jasper nodded, "That'd be fine with me. I think Peter probably needs someone to look after him now anyway. I hate the thought of him bein' all alone in that house."

Dad continued, "Okay then, well, we're going to go to Texas with you and try to get your father's permission first. However, if he doesn't agree, then we'll go to court. Now this means that you may have to get up on a stand, Jasper, and talk about the…abuse."

I looked at Jay as he furrowed his brows. I knew how prideful he could be sometimes.

"I don't know if I can do that, Carlisle."

I let out a breath, "Jay, you have to face up to this. It's just like Sarah…you have to admit it and you have to know that it doesn't make you weak…"

He shook his head, "It's not that, Edward. I can admit he's an abusive bastard…but…he's my dad. I know he's not a good one…but I haven't been very good to him either. I just…"

He blew out a huff of air and ran his hand through his hair. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, "Edward? Would you be mad at me if I didn't wanna do it?"

I wanted to be angry at him…but I hated seeing him hurt so I grabbed his hand and squeezed, "No, Jay. I'd never ask you to do something you didn't want to do. Whatever you decide, we're in this together."

He looked up and smiled softly, "Thanks, Eddie. I'll do it. I don't know how I feel about it but I know that I wanna be here with you more than anything. And…my family's here. This is where I should be. It's worth fightin' for."

I smiled back and dad joined in, "I'm very proud of you, son. So, we'll leave in a few days and I've taken a few weeks off of work. I thought we could go fishing tomorrow. I think it would be good for Peter."

We agreed and soon we were all eating dinner together and we told them about our trip, leaving out all the kinky details.

After dinner, mom and dad sat down and talked to him about what to do with the money his grandma had left him. They agreed that mom and dad would put most of it away, towards his college but that he had enough to get him a car and a few things he would need if he did have to stay in Texas, although they were optimistic about the outcome of the situation.

That night, Jasper decided to stay the night with Peter. I knew he missed him a lot. I think Peter reminded him of himself. I let him use my car and we would all meet up in the morning to go fishing.

It felt surreal to put on my pajama pants and crawl into my bed…I felt different…older…wiser…

I felt like the kid from The Wonder Years.

I giggled as I slid underneath the blankets because it felt really good to be home. There was a knock on my door and I called out for them to come in.

My mom walked in with a smile and two glasses of Mississippi Mud, "I thought you might like this."

I smiled, "Yeah, thanks, mom."

She set down the glass and I took a big drink. She sat down next to me and smiled brightly, "So, how are things with you and Jasper?"

I blushed and looked down, "They're…fantastic. Jay's wonderful, but you know that."

She nodded, "I do. How are things with you, sweetheart?"

I looked back up, "Um…I'm fine. Everything's good."

She nodded again and set her glass down on the nightstand as she turned to me, "Edward? We're all very hopeful that Jasper will get to stay here in Forks but you do know there's a chance that might not happen, right?"

I felt the lump in my throat as I nodded, "Yeah, mom, I know."

She sighed and grabbed my hand, "Promise me…promise me that if you ever…see something or hear something…that if you're ever scared about anything at all…promise that you'll come to me. Trust me, baby. I'm not perfect but I promise you that I will always do my very best to be fair and understanding…I promise that nothing will ever change how I feel about you. I love you so much and I've been so worried about you. I can't lose you. My heart would not survive it."

Guilt reared it's ugly head again and I swallowed thickly and nodded, "I promise, mom. Honestly, I'm scared about the possibility of Jasper leaving again but I promise you that I won't fall apart again. I'll ask for help if I need it. I'm not going anywhere…you won't lose me."

She smiled and pulled me into a hug. Then she pulled away and tousled my hair, "My darling boy…I hoped you enjoyed your one free pass because if you ever take off like that again, I will ground you for all of existence…got it?"

I smiled, "I've got it. I love you, mom."

She broke into a beautiful grin as I noticed the laugh lines that now laid in the corners of her eyes. I had never realized how much laughter this house holds…

"I love you too, sweetheart."

My phone vibrated on the nightstand and I looked over and smiled, "It's Jay."

Mom smiled and stood up, "Good night, honey…don't stay up too late."

I grabbed my phone and nodded, "Okay, good night, mom."

She left the room and I hit the button, "Hey Jay."

"Hey Eddie…what'cha doin'?"

I snuggled back into my pillow and closed my eyes, "Lying in bed and thinking of you."

I heard him mumble, "_Fuck_…"

Then he chuckled, "Would it be weird if I said I miss you?"

I smiled, "No…I miss you too…where's Peter?"

"He's watchin' Sanford and Son…I just came out on the porch to smoke."

"How are things going?"

He sighed, "I actually need to ask you for a favor…"

I furrowed my brows, "Anything, Jay…what is it?"

"Charlotte's flower garden is dyin'…I think I can save it but it's gonna take a lot of work and I need to get it done fast…like tomorrow…cuz I just can't stand it…Peter comes out here every mornin' to drink his coffee and look at Charlotte's garden…I can let him watch that die too."

I could only imagine the pain that Peter was feeling at losing his Charlotte…

"Yeah, of course…um, we're supposed to go fishing in the morning so we can start working on it when we get back…"

There was another knock on my door and I sighed, "Hang on a sec…"

I pulled the phone away and set it in next to me, "Come in."

My dad walked in with a weird look on his face and I raised an eyebrow.

He quickly shut the door and walked over with a CVS bag in his hand, "Look, son, your mother is in the shower so I have to make this quick…she is content enough to think that you're going to stay a virgin forever...I know better. So…um…as a doctor, I thought I should…talk to you…ask if you have any questions…"

_Oh. My. God_.

I pressed my palm over the phone, praying to God that Jasper didn't hear this conversation as I choked out, "Um…no, I'm good. Uh…thanks."

We were both scarlet as he handed me the bag, not looking into my eyes as he mumbled, "Good…good…okay, here. Be safe…use condoms…and um…lubrication to prevent tears…"

"Dad! I get it! Good God, stop!"

Now my dad smirked, still with red cheeks, "One more thing and I'll leave it alone…"

I buried my head and mumbled, "Why not…"

He sat down next to me and laughed, "Look at me, Edward."

I groaned and raised my eyes.

He smiled, "Trust me…one day _far _into the future…you'll look back at this and laugh. Now, I do not want you or Jasper to think that I am offering my approval for you to be intimate…I just value both of your safety more than anything else. Jasper, I can hear you laughing. Edward, put him on speaker…this is for both of you to hear."

I slowly lifted the phone up and heard him mumble, "Aw hell…"

I pressed the speakerphone button and dad smirked again, "Hello, son."

"Hey Carlisle."

"Boys, sex is a very serious thing. Although I wish you were waiting, I am not naïve enough to think that you're not already intimate. That being said, I ask that you be safe and respect each other…and don't think that you're going to be able to stay in the same room any longer or have my permission to just have at it…you're going to have to sneak around like every other hot blooded teenager…and just let me leave you with this thought…if you have sex in my house, I _will _catch you and just imagine how awkward that will be. Good talk, boys. Don't stay on the phone all night."

He got up and walked out as I sat there, unable to form words.

Then I mumbled, "My dad's sex talks are going to give me erectile dysfunction."

Jasper started laughing and I couldn't help but grin.

"Holy fuck, dude…that was funny as shit…"

I rolled my eyes and we talked a little more before he went back inside to watch TV with Peter.

I watched TV for a little while until I finally a got a text.

_Love you…Sweet dreams, darlin…_

I smiled and texted back.

_Love you too…Good night, babe…_

I fell asleep easily and woke up early the next morning. I was excited about seeing Jay again and I wasn't disappointed as I watched him stumble down the front steps of Peter's house, scratching his belly and yawning.

Ironically, Peter followed along behind him doing the same thing.

I let my dad drive the Volvo so I scooted over in the back seat as Jay opened the door and slid in, half asleep. I smiled brightly and handed him the cup of coffee I had brought for him.

He smiled back as he took it and leaned over, pressing his strong lips to mine…

_Mmm…honey and mint toothpaste…_

Then he pulled away, wide eyed as he looked up to see my dad looking back at us.

He turned bright red as I felt my cheeks flush. Then he looked out the window and mumbled, "Sorry."

Peter was laughing his deep hearty laugh as he sank into the front seat, "Hey Carlisle…do ya remember the first time ya ever made out in a car?"

Jasper looked at me in confusion and I mirrored his expression.

"Ah, yes, I do, Peter…it was my sweet Esmeralda…we were at the drive in, actually, in my old 65 Mustang that I bought solely to piss off my mother…we were watching…_hmm_…I don't recall what we were watching."

They started laughing I groaned, "Really, dad? I don't need to hear about your and mom's sordid affairs…"

Peter laughed, "Mine was in my old beat up truck…I was fifteen and her name was Emmylou…or was it Wendy Sue? Hell, it don't matter cuz I figured out that Charlotte was the one for me pretty soon after that…"

My dad smiled and Jay and I both looked at each other again, silently begging the other one to make it stop.

"I've never made out in a truck…although there was this one time when Esme and I were on the bus…and then that time in the taxi…"

I had enough as I stuck my head up between the two front seats and blurted out, "Shiny, silver Volvo…these sits that you're sitting in…about a month and a half ago…with Jasper."

Peter and dad both had the decency to turn a little red before dad mumbled, "Let's listen to radio…"

He flipped it on and I sat back in seat with a smile on my face. Jay looked over at me and graced me with his beautiful dimpled grin, "Nice, Eddie."

I just blushed and looked out the window for the rest of the trip…although it was a nice surprise to feel rough, calloused fingertips sliding over mine and taking my hand in his while we rode.

Once we reached the lake, we had a blast fishing. Dad and I were kind of the newbie's so Peter and Jay took us underneath their wing and by the afternoon, we had caught a hell of a lot of fish…only to release them again since we didn't plan on eating them.

And we all talked…like family. It was actually a lot of fun. Dad and Peter told us stories from their childhoods and we talked about school and what we wanted to do after school. We talked about everything and just enjoyed being in one another's company.

It was good to see Peter so happy and talkative. I worried quite a bit about him because the thought of ever losing Jay just made me…shut down…I couldn't even think about it.

After the fishing trip, Jasper and I worked in Charlotte's garden. It was extremely hard work, pulling all the weeds and stuff but it was definitely worth it in the end because a few days later, the garden was beautiful again.

Jay had been staying with Peter since we got back and the only time I had felt those wonderful fingers on my body was the few times that he would rub sun block on my back and shoulders.

So, the night before we were leaving for Texas…I had begun experiencing serious Jasper withdrawals.

Snuggled in my bed, I closed my eyes and whispered into the phone, "God, I miss you…I miss your hands…I miss your lips…your beautiful cock…"

He groaned softly, "Fuck, Edward…when the hell are we gonna get together, man…I'm goin' fuckin' crazy…"

I wasn't against pleading, "Come over…I'll let you in through the garage and we can sneak up here to my room…"

He sighed, "As temptin' as that is, darlin'…if your dad caught us, it would fuckin' suck."

I groaned and pushed my head into the pillow, "I want you, Jay…I need you…I'm coming over…"

He laughed softly, "Yeah?"

I jumped up out of bed and starting pulling on my jeans, "Fuck yeah…I'll be there in half an hour…is Peter asleep?"

"Yeah…he took his pills so he'll be out like a light all night. I'll be waitin' for you, Eddie. Be careful, okay?"

I smiled, "I will. See you soon. I love you, Jay."

"Love you too, Eddie. See you soon."

I yanked on a t-shirt and slipped on my shoes. I pulled on a ball cap and then rolled my eyes because it's not like that's going to disguise who I am, should my dad catch me.

I crept slowly down the stairs and into the garage. Then I was worried that my dad would hear the garage door or the start of the car, since I had to start parking it in the garage for fear of my sneaking out again.

Ironic, I know.

But if there's one thing I've learned…horny teenage boys will do just about anything to have sex…especially with someone they were completely in love with.

So, I groaned a little as I rode my stupid bicycle to Peter's house but the humiliation of someone possibly seeing me was far outweighed by my need for some of Pedro Cockriguez.

Of course, he was sitting on the porch steps smoking a cigarette when I pedaled up. He immediately started laughing in all his blue jeaned, bare-footed and bare chested glory. I huffed as I got off the bike and let it drop to the ground, "My balls hurt."

He smiled as he giggled, "Aww…want me to kiss 'em all better?"

I nodded and dead-panned, "Yes, that sounds lovely."

He started laughing again and I smiled, "I missed you."

He threw out his cigarette and grabbed my hand, "Well, come on, pretty boy…we only got about five hours 'fore ya gotta go back home so we better get a move on…"

I could feel the butterflies fluttering around my stomach as we walked in the house. I whispered, "Are you sure Peter won't wake up?"

He smiled that beautiful dimpled grin as he put his arms around my waist and started pulling me to his room while he walked backwards, "I'm positive…his hearin' aid is out…he's taken his medicine…he's out for at least eight hours…"

Once we reached the room he was staying in, he pulled me through and locked the door behind us. And the sound of that 'click' brought me back to the hundreds of times we had combusted into a frenzied heat of need at the sound of the door being locked.

And in that single moment, everything else was forgotten as he desperately crashed his lips to mine, his tongue swirling around mine as his hands clenched the back of my t-shirt, willing me closer.

I moaned into his mouth and weaved my fingers into soft golden curls, never being able to get enough of his taste on my tongue to satisfy me.

He pulled me away from the door and continued his slow work of making me forget my own name. His hands began trailing leisurely over my hips and up my sides as they brought the fabric of my t-shirt up with them.

His rough fingertips teased my overheated skin as every cell in my body drew toward him in an overwhelming rush of desire…

And then I was dragging him to bed in a frenzied rush to feel his skin on mine. He gasped into my mouth as I pushed him down onto the bed, attaching myself to smooth lips and falling right on top of him.

He ripped my shirt over my head and I took to his neck and jaw while his head pushed back into the mattress, eyes closing and beautiful moans falling from perfect pink lips.

My body was on fire and I was thankful for the cool breeze that blew in from the open window. My fingers quickly found their way to his zipper as I pulled it open. One of his hands tore open my jeans while his other pushed into the back of my jeans and into my boxer briefs.

His fingers dug into my ass as he squeezed really hard, yanking me into him. Now my head fell back with a soft moan and then his lips were on mine again…rough and bruising with their desperation for more of me.

And my lips mimicked his as I pushed my straining cock against his through our open jeans and boxer briefs.

I pushed him up further onto the bed while our jeans slid down our legs further and our hands did their best to help them along.

But our bodies were pressed against each other so close that it was hard to get them off.

His hands found their way to the back of my underwear, pushing it down over my ass and gripping me roughly again.

My jeans around my knees made it difficult to maneuver but I managed to push his boxer briefs down low onto his hips so that I finally freed his gorgeous cock.

And I lost any semblance of control as his searing cock slid against mine, sending an explosion of fire through my body as I growled, "Get those God damn cock-blocking jeans off…"

His lidded eyes gazed into mine as he nodded and began tearing the jeans and underwear down his legs.

I rolled over onto my back and did the same thing because I needed skin on skin…and I needed every single inch of it but doubted that would even satisfy my thirst for him.

The moment the offending clothes landed with a soft thump to the floor, we were together again.

We laid on our sides with our legs intertwined and our arms wrapped tightly around each other while our fingers explored every trace of skin they could find.

Our thick cocks rubbed shamelessly against each other while we swallowed the soft moans and grunts of our wanton actions.

He pushed me onto my back as his mouth found the sensitive skin at the crook of my neck. He began working his way down my body, kissing and licking and sucking on my overheated flesh.

He swirled his metal stud around my nipples and I gasped as he bit down gently and started running the stud across the sensitive nub.

He then moved down my stomach and my hips, biting and running that stud along all the creases in my skin.

His shallow breaths tickled the tip of my cock as he blew softly on the swollen head before taking me into his hot mouth.

I groaned and lifted my head so I could look at my cock, now glistening with the wetness of his mouth as it slipped between his plump lips.

I was straining to keep myself from thrusting up into his mouth, eager for more as he wielded his exquisite torture upon my body.

He pulled away with a smile as he reached over into his bag, pulling out the dildo and a bottle of lube, "I wanna try somethin', Eddie…you up for a little kink tonight?"

I smiled back, breathlessly agreeing, "Um...yeah…"

I watched as he squeezed some lube onto his fingers before settling between my legs and taking my throbbing cock back into his scorching mouth. The tip of his finger began circling my entrance before slowly pushing in.

I was lost in a haze of ecstasy as his fingers and mouth worked together to draw out whimpers and moans and gasps as my body ached for release but I wasn't ready to give into the pleasure quite yet.

I whimpered again as his fingers slipped out and he sat up on his heels. I started to protest but I saw him pick up the dildo and begin coating it with the slick lube.

His eyes seared into mine as he brought it between my legs and whispered, "Open up for me, baby boy…"

I spread my legs, giving him complete access to anything he desired. The tip of the dildo pressed against my hole and I groaned as it slid into me, stretching and burning almost as hot as the desire I had within me.

He sat there and just watched me as he pumped the dildo in and out of me, slowly working up to a faster pace. My hand reached for my cock and he slapped it out of the way as he lifted up on his knees and straddled my chest, never ceasing his motion of fucking me with the thick fake cock while his free hand laid on my hip.

He smiled down at me as his leaking cock stood only a few inches from my face. I twisted and bent my body up off the mattress to be rewarded with the sticky tip on my tongue and honey on my lips.

His head fell back and he moaned into the nighttime air, "Get me ready for you, darlin'…I wanna ride you while I fuck you…"

From his words alone, my eyes shut and I groaned but quickly grabbed the lube and coated my fingers.

I took the head of his cock between my lips as my finger slipped inside his waiting hole. He rocked back and forth, taking my fingers deeper inside of him and then pushing his cock down my throat.

A few minutes later, he slipped from my mouth and moved down to my cock as it pulsed anxiously against his beautiful ass.

He leaned back on his free hand while his other one still worked the dildo in and out of me, stroking my magic spot with every thrust.

I reached down and took my cock into my hand, positioning it at his hole. I felt him push down past the tip and my head fell into the mattress and my eyes squeezed shut at the overwhelming pleasure of fucking and being fucked all at the same time.

He groaned, "If ya…wanna stop…just tell… me…"

My eyes opened as a delirious smile spread across my face and I grunted, "I'm not that…fucking crazy…don't stop, Jay…don't fuckin stop…"

He slowly sank down on my aching cock until it was fully seated inside of him. The tightness and heat from his body encompassing my own was making me lose all control as I wrapped my hand around his swollen cock.

I pushed up into him and back onto the dildo, experiencing amazing shots of pleasure with every small movement. Watching him on top of me, sliding up and down on my cock with hooded eyes and a hungry look adorning his sinfully beautiful face, I was over come and pleaded with him, "Oh God…you've got to…cum, baby…I can't hold on…much longer…"

He moaned as my hand slid up and down his cock, swirling my fingers over the tip and coating him in his own sticky honey. A few strokes later and he was calling out my name as his cock erupted, shooting lovely streams of his cum all over my chest and neck.

The dildo slipped out of me in his powerful orgasm and I took the opportunity to take him exactly as I wanted him.

I grabbed his hips and pushed him onto his back as I rolled us over, burying myself deep inside of his tight heat.

He was making unintelligible sounds as our slick, sweat soaked bodies crashed into each other over and over again.

I took his lips to mine and our chests only became that much more slick as my cum covered stomach slid against his.

I gripped his curls tight between my fingers and his legs wrapped around my hips, locking his feet above my ass and drawing me deeper into him.

I flew over the edge as I exploded inside of him before collapsing, out of air and stuck together with sweat and cum.

He ran his fingers through my hair as we both took a few minutes to gather our breath. I closed my eyes and started to drift off when I was awoken with a soft kiss and a lazy southern drawl, "Wake up, baby boy…ya gotta get back 'fore your dad catches you."

I groaned as I pulled myself away and looked into his pretty blue eyes, "I love you, Jay."

He smiled, "I love you too, Eddie."

Reluctantly, I pulled myself from his warmth and managed to wipe off some of the stickiness before getting redressed.

He pulled up his jeans and walked me outside. I was pulled into a strong hug and I could feel his smiling lips on my neck, "Be careful ridin' home, baby…call me as soon as you get there, okay?"

I nodded and yawned, "Okay, Jay…I can't wait until we can wake up together again…this sucks…leaving you…"

He smiled softly as he pulled away, "We'll be alright, Eddie. Now get goin' darlin…we'll be lucky to get more than a couple hours sleep before we're up and on the road."

I nodded and turned, picking up the stupid bicycle as he chuckled behind me and lit a cigarette.

"It's not funny, Jay." I grumbled as I lifted my leg over and glared at him.

He broke into a breathtaking dimpled grin, "Yeah it is, Eddie…love you, baby…be careful."

I couldn't help but smile back, "Love you too, babe…good night."

I rode away to him laughing and I wanted to be annoyed but I was still completely drunk from the ecstasy of our last few hours together…good thing I did take the bicycle because I was pretty sure I could totally get a DUI from being intoxicated from the sweetest of honey.

I rolled my eyes at my apparent giddiness as I made the long trip home but I supposed I could just sleep in the car tomorrow on the way to Texas.

My stomach churned again with the thought of what possibilities lie in our future. But I was certain that no matter what happened, we'd have our happy ending.


	45. Chapter 45

**Hey guys, I wanna let you all know how much I appreciate all the love this story has gotten. We're starting to wind down, probably the last four or five chapters. But I wanted to let you know that I'm planning a sequel as well. Hope you had a happy holiday and enjoy the story!**

**Fade by Staind**

**Jay's POV**

My stomach churned as I saw Carlisle's SUV and Em's Jeep pull down the long dirt drive. We were leaving for Texas today and although I knew it was necessary…I really didn't wanna go.

I worried about Peter. If I ended up back in Texas, he'd be here all by himself. His health really hadn't been all that good these last few days and I think he needed someone to help take care of him.

If I did have to stay in Texas, I needed to make sure that Carlisle had some sort of plan for Peter.

I groggily stumbled down the porch steps and was met by a super hyper pixie. She threw her arms around me and squeezed, "This is all going to work out, Jazzy. I just have this feeling…"

I smiled, "I hope you're right, Ali. I need this to work out."

She pulled away and looked up at me, "It will, Jazz…one way or the other, things are going to be okay."

I nodded and was grateful for her reassurance.

Then Rose and Em walked up, hand in hand, "You ready for this, bro?"

I let out a breath, "As ready as I'll ever be."

Rose smiled and I couldn't help but smile back because she is really fuckin' beautiful when she smiles…which isn't all that often.

But I kinda dug that about her…the boys back home had no idea what was comin' down to Texas with me.

Alice was kind of an old soul and a free spirit…but she was also kind of fearless…I really loved that about her.

And Em…he was my bro. He was unlike anyone I had ever met…most big guys I had known like him were bullies…but Em was a softy…unless you fucked with him then he'd fuckin' lay your ass out. He was fuckin' awesome.

I hoped that I'd get to be here when they graduated next year.

We quickly packed the SUV with my and Peter's shit before I crawled in the backseat, next to my boyfriend who was fast asleep and snoring pretty fuckin' loud.

I laughed and leaned over to his ear, "Good mornin', Eddie."

He grinned and mumbled with a sleepy rough voice that went straight to my cock, "Mmm…hey baby…"

And then he wrapped his arms around my neck and snuggled into my chest, never opening his eyes.

I felt a little awkward as Esme crawled in next to me, Peter was sitting in the front with Carlisle.

She smiled a little nervously as her eyes flickered to Edward, "My, my…he looks very…comfy…"

I could feel my cheeks burning and I started nudging him, trying to get him to move over to his side.

But instead, his head fell into my lap and he tightened his grip around my waist. I groaned in embarrassment, frustration, and…well, because Edward's head was in my lap.

_This trip's startin' out fuckin' great…_

Esme shot up out of her seat and yanked Edward off my lap, before she scooted me over and took her place right between us.

Edward woke up now with a confused look and Esme let out a breath and smiled, "Much better…my beautiful, sweet boys…"

And then she put her arms around the both of us and kind of forced our heads on her shoulder.

It seemed that mama C was havin' a little bit of a freak out about her baby boy…

Edward looked over at me in his mama bear headlock and mouthed, 'What the fuck?'

I just laughed softly and mouthed, 'I love you…"

And then I closed my eyes and…well, I snuggled into her and went to sleep.

We stopped and ate a few times before finally pulling off to a hotel. Peter roomed with Carlisle and Esme, Rose and Em got a room, and then me, Edward, and Alice shared a room.

I think it made Esme feel better to have Alice in the room cuz she didn't think we'd do it…she was wrong cuz not only was there the shower but I also talked Eddie into a little freaky time after Ali fell asleep…at least, I think she was sleepin'.

The trip was long but it was a lot of fun being with everyone again. I felt liked I belonged and I reveled in the fact that these people…these really _good _people, took me in as one of theirs.

I had always wanted a family and I finally had one.

But there were drawbacks…I had to watch my mouth like a fuckin' hawk and I couldn't smoke around Esme…she woulda definitely went all mama bear on my ass.

It was worth it though. And when we finally started headin' into Mission…I found myself taking deep breaths to keep from freakin' the fuck out.

But I felt myself slowly slipping back into that tough Texas boy I needed to be. I've been through a hell of a lot of shit in my life and I'll be fuckin' damned if my daddy fuckin' broke me.

I didn't know what to expect but I knew daddy was probably preparin' for fuckin' war or some shit cuz he knew they were bringin' me back.

I could feel my skin beginning to crawl as I thought about Esme and Carlisle and…everybody else actually comin' face to face with my dad. The man was a fuckin' embarrassment and I didn't want them to see where I came from.

I started thinkin' that this was a really bad idea as we turned down the street to my dad's house…but it was too late cuz we pulled to the curb in front of the house and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I felt his soft fingers glide over mine and I opened my eyes and looked over at him. I focused on his eyes, dark green and jade swirls…completely lulling me into a false sense of security. The beautiful crooked grin solidifying my resolve that this was gonna work.

I smiled back and squeezed his hand reassuring him that I was alright…even if I was lyin' my fuckin' ass off.

Esme placed her hand over ours and smiled sweetly, "No matter what happens…you will be okay. We can get through anything together, darling. You will never have to face anything alone again."

She gave me a quick hug before I finally took one more deep breath and stepped outta the car.

I looked up at the porch and saw my dad sittin' there with Jeremiah.

I was glad that his deployment date got pushed back and I would get see him before he left.

My dad stood and looked at me for a moment before turning and walking into the house. Jeremiah came bouncin' down the steps and over to us. Em and Rose were standing next to me, holding hands. Edward was one my other side and Alice was next to him. Peter, Esme, and Carlisle stood behind me.

I smiled as Jeremiah grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, "Hey Cuz! Ya got your own little posse, huh? That's pimp shit!"

We separated and I laughed, "You're a silly mother fu…"

I heard Esme gasp behind me, "Are you about to use the 'F' word, sweetheart?"

I could feel my face burn as Jeremiah and everyone else chuckled a little, "Sorry, mama…"

Then Jeremiah turned to Eddie and stuck out his hand, "Hey there, pretty boy…"

Now Eddie blushed and took his hand, "Hey Jeremiah."

Then he turned to Alice and my jaw dropped as he broke into a big dimpled grin, took her hand and drawled out, "Well, my, my, my…you gotta boyfriend, darlin'?"

Alice fuckin' blushes and shakes her head as she giggles.

He smirks and brings her hand to his lips as he gives her knuckles a kiss and says, "Ya do now, sugar…I'm Jeremiah."

She giggled again but looked up at him with her own smirk and a gleam in her eye, "I'm not really looking for a boyfriend, Jeremiah."

He chuckled a little and leaned down to her ear as he whispered, "Tough shit, baby girl…I'm yours…"

I rolled my eyes and huffed to get his attention away from tryin' to Mack on one of my best friends, "Cuz? How's your chick doin' with the baby and all?"

He looked over at me and smirked, "She's doin' alright…we broke up awhile back. She dumped my ass as soon as I told her I was joinin' the military. Truth is, I ain't wild bout that girl raisin' my baby…"

Now I felt a little bad, "Oh…sorry, Cuz."

He smiled and shrugged, "Sometimes it don't matter how much you love someone cuz they just can't love you back. It sucks but ya gotta move on…my only concern right now is my baby that girl's carryin'…"

Then he turned and winked at Alice, "Don't you think for one second that I'm done with you yet, pretty girl…we'll talk more later."

She fuckin' blushed again and Jeremiah went about introducing himself to everyone.

He held out his hand for Rose and she took it as he just grinned, "Nice to meet you, Rosalie. That's an awfully big boyfriend ya got there, darlin', so I'm gonna step away now."

She laughed a little and he held his hand out to Em, "Sup? So, my little Cuzzy here tells me that you play on the startin' D-line back in Washington…I was a left defensive tackle…"

Em broke into a grin, "No shit! You watching the Texas U game this Saturday?"

Jeremiah nodded, "Yup, ya'll oughta come over and chill with me 'fore I leave…we can have us a game…"

They talked for a minute about football before he finally introduced himself to Peter, Esme, and Carlisle.

It was kinda cool seein' my cousin getting along well with everyone…but it was my dad I was worried about.

"Hey Jeremiah? What's goin' on with daddy? He won't even talk to me now?"

Jeremiah turned and smiled, "Naw, man…he just needs a minute…maybe we should go in and talk to him…"

I looked up at the house and sighed, "Yeah, maybe…"

I stepped away and turned back to everyone, "Um…just give me a minute, okay?"

Carlisle spoke, "Son, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with you being alone with him until I know how he's reacting…"

Jeremiah put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry, sir…I'll be with him and Uncle Wayne's pretty calm right now. Besides, if he tries and lays a hand on my little Cuz…we're gonna stomp a mud hole in his ass. He already knows…I warned him."

I smiled cuz it was kinda nice that Jeremiah had taken up for me against my dad, "It'll be okay, Carlisle. I won't be long."

He hesitantly agreed and I found myself slowly walkin' in the front door behind Jeremiah.

My dad was sittin' at the kitchen table and when he looked up at me…something was different.

He stood and I couldn't move. He walked over and stopped in front of me, my eyes never left his and I watched him warily.

He spoke calmly, "You shouldn't have left without tellin' me where you were goin'…"

I tried to keep myself calm cuz just being near him kinda made my blood boil, "You never cared where I was before…"

His eyes tightened and I could hear his pitch beginning to raise as he fought off the urge to scream, "Your mama always told me where you were…I knew…I just…"

I rolled my eyes as the anger started bubbling to the surface, "You just didn't give a fuck, huh, dad? You don't give a fuck about nobody but you…"

He gritted his teeth and I felt like I was teasing a rabid dog that would soon turn, "That's bullshit, Jasper! I loved you and your mama! My life was just fucked up! You don't know the shit I've been through!"

That pissed me the fuck off and I just blew, "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? I don't fuckin' know you at all! Did'ja ever stop to think about _my _life? You were too fuckin' wrapped up in your own god damn sob story to see that I fuckin' needed you! I needed someone! I had nobody! All my fuckin' life I've been treated like your and mama's god damn mistake and I'm fuckin' done with this shit!"

Jeremiah stepped between us and held his arms out, "Whoa now, boys…ya'll both need to calm the hell down. Uncle Wayne, ya know I respect ya but I'm gonna need to take a step back 'fore shit gets a little too wild…Jay, take a breath, man…calm this shit down…"

Dad took a step back and closed his eyes, trying to calm down so I did the same. After a minute, dad spoke again, "Son, you can't go runnin' off like that…I need to know where you're at."

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, "You're right, dad…I'm movin' back to Washington. My friend, Peter, needs me right now…"

His eyes narrowed and he growled, "I don't wanna hear about your little faggot boyfriend!"

I needed to get the fuck outta here now or shit wasn't gonna end pretty.

I just looked him in the eye and kept my voice calm, "You really sit here and wonder why mama didn't come back to you? You think by callin' me names that it means you're more of a man than me? You're a god damn drunk…a pathetic fuckin' prick who wasn't even man enough to keep your family together…"

And then the wind was knocked outta me as he came barreling at me and I crashed through the screen door and onto the porch. My back ached and my head was pounding, all his weight was on me, crushing my ribs and I tried to get my bearings as I looked around.

I saw Em, Edward, and Carlisle closing in and I did not want them involved in this shit.

Jeremiah was on him next and it distracted my dad enough that I was able use every bit of strength I had and shove that fucker off of me. He stumbled backwards off the porch, landing on his back…that was all I needed for once in my fuckin' life to finally get the upper hand on him.

And then I was fuckin' lost.

I faintly remember people pulling at me and screaming but I couldn't stop myself from just hitting him over and over…he fought back and I'd find myself pinned beneath him again…only to fight my way back on top and commence to whoopin' his mother fuckin' ass, cuz he wasn't beatin' me today…

Everything else around me faded away into a sea of red as I just gave in and let my anger have it's dirty way with me.

It wasn't until I was being thrown face first into the hood of a car and the familiar feel of steel around my wrists that the whole picture started coming back to me.

My body ached with each rugged breath as I looked up into the faces of the people that loved me…red and blue lights showcased the whole god damn thing.

Carlisle was talkin' to a cop while my dad was face down on the other police car. Edward had his arms around his mom who looked like her heart had been completely shattered. Em held Rosalie as she gazed off with a distant look in her eyes. Jeremiah was sitting on the porch as Alice held a bag of ice to his eye.

I fucked up…

I squeezed my eyes shut and wished that I could kick my own ass. The fucker got to me…and now who knows what the hell is gonna happen.

I berated myself for being such a fuckin' asshole as the pigs threw me in the backseat and took off.

I couldn't even look Edward in the eyes this time…I had royally fucked everything up.

How long would they even stick around if I couldn't man the fuck up and control my fuckin' temper?

I barely remember them beginning to process me as I got lost in all those thoughts of what I _should _have done.

Hindsight's a mother fuckin' bitch.

And then life had to go and be all fuckin' ironic and sadistic again as I was being shoved into a holding cell where my father sat.

He was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall as he stared out the window. I groaned, "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?"

The guard laughed, "Nope…I think it would do you two boys some good to be stuck together…"

I couldn't believe this asshole.

"What the fuck? What the hell are you even charging us with? You can't just fuckin' lock me in here with the mother fucker who's ass I was beatin' when you cock suckers pulled up!"

That got a reaction and he slammed me against the wall and hissed, "Look here, boy…your daddy and me have been friends since we was babies. So you gotta make a fuckin' choice…stay here till mornin' and if you two have cooled off, I'll release you with no charges filed…or keep bein' a little asshole and we will pick up assault charges on both of ya…"

I rasped out, "Is that even legal?"

And I was being slammed against the wall again. It worked this time cuz I was fuckin' done…I was exhausted.

"I'm tryin' to cut you a break, boy, outta respect for your daddy…he's tryin' to clean his shit up cuz you up and run away…he's been sober for three weeks now and he's been dealin' with a lot of demons so maybe you can cut him a little slack even if he don't deserve it…"

The wind getting knocked outta me was probably a good thing cuz I just nodded.

I was getting a second fuckin' chance at getting outta this shit…I just had to get along with my dad till mornin'.

I had to control my temper…I had to be the bigger man…

This was gonna be a fuckin' nightmare.

I sighed as the cell door shut. My dad never looked over so I just went to the stupid cot and laid down. I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes, trying to get lost in my happy place…which was basically anywhere with Edward.

But I felt nauseous when I thought of him or anybody else cuz I knew that they were all probably worried half to death…and I knew they were really disappointed in me.

I was disappointed in me.

I gotta stop letting people draw these kinda reactions outta me…I gotta learn to control my emotions, especially my anger.

Peter's words were runnin' through my head…

"_Anger…rage…hate…those things will consume you from the inside out if you let 'em. You gotta let it go, son. Just let it all go."_

Unfortunately that was much easier said then done.

I don't have any idea how long I laid there but the sound of his voice caused me to turn my head because it sounds different…defeated.

"I met your mama when she was just fourteen. My buddy, Dave, was datin' her best friend, Bobbi Sue and they set us up. I had seen your mama at school but I never really noticed her before cuz she was a couple years younger than me. I was mad as hell when I went to Bobbi Sue's to pick 'em up. But I'll never forget her walkin' outta that house in the tightest pair of jeans I had ever seen…"

He started laughing and I sat up, thoroughly confused, "What the hell are you talkin' about?"

He still wasn't looking at me as he smiled and I almost wondered if he was losing his ever lovin' mind.

"You were right, son. You don't know me and I don't know you. So, by the time your mama jumped in the front seat next to me…I was seein' her really for the first time. At school she never really dressed up or anything…it's like she tried to blend in but when she went out with me, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. I fell hard. I was so in love with that girl…we both had rough home lives and we just took to each other…kindred souls and all that shit."

That made me chuckle a little in spite of myself.

"Her mama and daddy were…evil. Mine were just real strict. My hair was too long and daddy hated my music…I was in a band, lead guitarist. It pissed them off cuz daddy always wanted me to join the military but I was content enough to work in a factory and play down at the local bar on Friday nights with your mama by my side. But then I just lost it one night on her daddy and nearly beat him half to death."

He looked over at me now and I could see his worn and battered face…he looked much older than he was but for the first time I saw a glimpse of someone younger inside.

His cold blue almost matched the gray walls behind him, "I never meant for things to get as out of hand as they did…I went over there with the intention of beatin' the hell outta him but once I started…I couldn't stop. He done unspeakable things and in that moment, I believed I was justified in takin' his life. All it takes is one moment, son, to change your life forever. In one moment, I lost everything cuz I couldn't control myself. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout…you had that same lost look in your eye today when you were whoopin' my ass…"

And then he laughed. He was definitely losing his mind.

I was still wary, "Why are you tellin' me this?"

He grimaced and looked out the window again…he appeared to be in pain.

"Your mama was pregnant with you when it happened and my daddy pulled a deal with the judge to not file any charges against me if I joined the Marines. That bastard got his fuckin' wish. Me and your mama got married right before ya was born…I'll never forget that day. You came out just a'screamin' your head off with this mop of blonde curls and big blue eyes…you sure were a cute little thing."

I felt like I was in some fuckin' alternate reality…Matrix type shit…fallin' down the fuckin' rabbit hole…

_Damn Edward and the geeky movies he forces me to watch…_

"I left for the Marines a couple days later, leavin' you and your mama behind. The only thing that kept me goin' was knowin' that I was gonna come back in a few years and have my family. That was all I ever really wanted…you and your mama. She went through hell while I was gone and I swore that I was gonna help her as soon as I got back and put our family together."

He sighed and looked back over at me, "I put your mama in rehab and she swore that she was gonna get better and come back to us. I got a little apartment and took you home with me, figurin' that we could get everything ready for when she came home. It was hard…you were barely four years old and you didn't know me. I had been dreamin' of this picture perfect family waitin' on me but everything was all messed up. The military had been good for me in some ways cuz it taught me to control my emotions but without that structure I was used to and the strain of tryin' to put us back together again…it was too much. You stayed with me in that little apartment for three months. Your mama ran off from rehab two weeks after she started and I kept holdin' onto that promise that she was comin' back. I was head over heels for the woman and I couldn't imagine that she didn't feel the same way."

For some reason, I felt incredibly calm because besides the fact that we had lived together for a few months, I knew most of this. However, I was not prepared for him to let out a strangled sob and bury his heads in his knees…

I was at a loss and I was gonna have to deal with this shit by myself this time. No Edward…no Doc…just me.

Fuck.

My heart was racing like I had just seen a ghost cuz this wasn't my father…this broken, pitiful man wasn't the hard assed bastard that I knew. I almost felt sorry for him.

Almost.

"You said we lived together for three months…why'd you give me back to granny and re-enlist if you wanted me? You just didn't want me if mama wasn't included…"

He sobbed quietly and never looked up, "I didn't know what to do…didn't know how to raise ya by myself…I was scared I was gonna fuck it all up. I was broken, son…your mama left me in pieces…"

I was kinda stunned speechless.

He sniffled a few times and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, "I had to leave…I was goin' insane waitin' on her to come back. So, I re-enlisted and left you with your granny. You seemed happier."

And I couldn't help but ask, "We lived together for three months…do you have any good memories of me?"

He chuckled and looked out the window again, "I have a million, son…I bought you this little wooden guitar from a yard sale…you and me would sit on the front porch, listenin' to Hank Williams and singin' for hours…you made me paint your bedroom this horrible bright green cuz you said you missed the woods by your granny's house and that was your favorite color…and we'd always sit out on the porch every time it rained."

He looked over at me and smiled…it was still a little creepy.

"You were a good kid…funny, smart…but there were also times when you would cry for your granny and tell me you hated me…I should've realized that you were a confused little kid who had his whole world ripped out from underneath of him. But to be honest with you, son…it was just too much for me to take. I figured you were better off without me. When I went back to the military, I got lost in my job. It's easy when someone's giving you orders…when there's rules and procedures to follow…when I didn't have nobody guidin' me, I was left with my thoughts and I was at war with myself…with who I was and who I wanted to be…"

He looked down at his hands, "I didn't wanna be this…every day I would think, 'I'm gonna get clean…I'm gonna fix this'…and every day I just…wouldn't. And before I noticed, you grew up without me and it was too late to fix anything. When I found out that your mama came back for you…I was jealous and hurt. I'm a selfish bastard but I resented that she wouldn't come back to me. And without something to focus on when I left the military, shit just got too fucked up and I started drinkin'. I was havin' all these nightmares about shit I had seen over in Iraq…"

I never knew he was in Iraq and I found myself kinda interested.

"What kinda shit did you see, dad?"

He looked up at me a little surprised, "I don't think…it's not somethin' I ever really talked about before…"

I sat down on the ground across from him with my back against the bunk on the other side of the cell, "Maybe you should."

He looked out the window again as the moonlight flooded in. And he began telling me horrible things he had witnessed.

I found myself completely fascinated by this side of him. I had never seen it before but Jeremiah had been tellin' me that it existed…I woulda called him a damn liar but I didn't forget that he was also an abusive asshole. It just made him a little more of a complex, abusive asshole.

But as least I was finally startin' to understand him a little, even if he was all fucked up. And I realized that there was a reason behind the way people act and react…everybody had a fuckin' story.

After all the shit he told me, I was startin' to wonder if maybe there was more to it than him just being a sadistic fuck.

"Hey dad? You said that you ain't ever really talked about this stuff before…have you ever heard of post traumatic stress syndrome?"

He shook his head and looked at me, again surprised, "What's that?"

I remembered back to all that research I had done, "It's an anxiety disorder that sometimes develops after exposure to an event that results in psychological trauma."

Now he looked at me like I had two heads, "Huh? I have no idea what the hell you just said."

I smiled as I thought about feelin' that exact same way when I first read it.

"It just means that sometimes if you've dealt with some really fucked up shit…it can cause you to do shit you wouldn't normally do…it can cause a lot of nightmares or you might even see or hear somethin' that ain't really there…you can become violent…certain things can trigger it and alcohol abuse can intensify it. Let me ask you somethin', dad…before you re-enlisted, did you ever hit me?"

I was really curious now because I felt like maybe I stumbled on somethin' useful. Not sayin' that ptsd would excuse my dad for his behavior…but at least it helped me understand and possibly be able to help.

Because even if the asshole had put me through hell for as long as I could remember…there were things that I didn't remember that gave me a slight bit of hope that maybe he was worth tryin' to save.

I mean, he did marry my mama and claim me as his own before he knew I really was.

He looked out the window again and shook his head, "No…I'd get mad but I could control myself…I'd step outside for a smoke or somethin' while I calmed down. But when I came back and both of you were gone off together, I felt betrayed. I know I didn't have no right feelin' that way but I couldn't stop it. And then every time you came around…I'd see so much of myself when I was you're age and it pissed me off cuz I stayed outta your life and you still act just like me…bullheaded…arrogant…defiant little son of a bitch…"

I kept my anger down because I knew that he was right, I was like him in a lot of ways…but I was a hell of a lot different too.

Stronger.

Braver.

I smiled, "You're right, dad…but you don't really know me either."

He smiled back, "I reckon I don't…how'd you learn so much about that syndrome thing? That doctor teach you?"

_Might as well get all the shit out on the table._

"No…I learned about it myself cuz Edward suffers from it."

He looked away again and sat there for a minute before I heard him ask, "What happened to him?"

I closed my eyes and wondered what he was doin' right now.

"I can't tell, it's not my story. Let's just say that his shit makes your shit look tame and that's pretty fucked up."

He grimaced and nodded as he looked back over to me, "Are you sure, son? Have you been with any girls yet? Have ya even tried?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "Yeah, dad, I've fucked a lot of girls…but you can't help who you fall in love with."

He looked down and just stayed quiet for a little while before he finally mumbled, "I know that…I saw you fallin' apart when you two broke up…not that I knew it was a boy. But you fell apart just the same. God, it hurt to watch you cuz it was like walkin' around with a fuckin' mirror in my face all the damn time…I'm a fucked up man, I'll be the first to admit that shit…but I do _not _want you to end up like me. I'm fuckin' miserable."

It was strange to see him so broken down and wide open…and strangely, I wanted to make him feel better…give him a little hope.

"But you started rehab, right? The guard said that you've been sober for three weeks. You're a fuckin' Marine, dad…semper fi, do or die…you can totally do this shit."

He laughed a little, "Yeah, maybe…"

Then he was quiet again and I sat there for awhile before I spoke up, "I wanna move back to Washington. Peter is the old man whose farm I used to work on. He and his wife, Charlotte, kinda took me in a lot before mama left. He's a really good guy. He lost his only son, Nathan, in the war and Charlotte passed a few weeks ago. His health ain't that good and he needs someone to look after him…"

He looked over now and laughed softly, "You've always done that, ya know…you've always looked after shit…I remember when you were four years old, you found this old turtle in the road with a crack in his shell, you brought him back home and put about a million GI Joe band aides on him…you spent the evening watchin,' 'All Dogs Go To Heaven' with him and when you went to bed, I told ya I'd look after him. Of course, the next mornin' I told ya that you had taken such good care of him that he must've wandered off back to his home before you woke up."

I laughed, "Did I believe you?"

He smiled, "You never questioned me about it but you asked me if I thought that turtles went to Heaven. I told you that I did and you said you did too because animals had souls and people who didn't believe that, just weren't lookin' hard enough."

He still needed to answer me, "Dad? I wanna go back to Washington."

He sighed, "Son, the reason I gave up drinkin' was cuz you left and I wanted a chance to make things right. I'm sorry. I don't want you to go."

I took a deep breath and kept my cool, "I understand that, dad, but this isn't about you. This is about what's best for me. You say you don't want me to be like you, well, here's your chance to prove it. Mama knew it…that's why she left me with the Cullen's. Because as fucked up as you and mama are, you're my parents and you both want what's best for me, even if _you _ain't what's best. I think distance would be good if you actually wanna try and fix this. I can forgive a lot of shit, dad, but to be honest, it's gonna take a lot of time and effort."

He looked over at me, "Family's important, son."

I nodded, "You're right, it is. And I promise that I'll keep in contact with you…I can even come down and visit on my breaks and shit. You can come visit me. I fuckin' need this, daddy…please."

He sat there again, quiet.

I waited and hoped that this shit would work cuz I really didn't want things to get ugly again. I was tired of fightin'.

Eventually he sighed, "I wanna talk to them…get to know them a little bit. I can't just let ya run off with people I don't know nothin' about. I wanna sit down and talk with the adults…I know it's stupid considering…I'm sorry, son…I'm really sorry…"

I shook my head, "That's not stupid, it's called being a concerned parent…it's a good thing."

I felt like the weight of the world was bein' lifted off my shoulders because there was no way he could talk with Carlisle, Esme, and Peter and not believe that Washington was the best place for me.

I stood up and laid back down on that stupid cot.

He looked out the window and was quiet again. I was just about asleep when I heard him mumble, "You never did tell me about your life…"

I looked over and sleepily mumbled back, "You really wanna know?"

He nodded, "Yeah…your mama wrote me a letter…told me all the shit she did…how she left you alone…screamed at you all the time…how she had fucked up too. She said you went and visited her…that you was gonna give her a chance to fix shit…that's good, Jasper. You're a better man than me cuz I don't know if I'd give us another chance if I were you. I wanna know who you are, son."

I was a little confused still about this turn around and sighed, "Dad? I gotta know…what happened that caused all this shit cuz, honestly, you made a fag remark and tackled me to the fuckin' ground just hours ago…"

He nodded again and looked out the window, "Yeah…I gotta work on mindin' the stupid shit I say when I'm mad…it's no excuse but…anyway, after we talked on the phone the last time, your Aunt Barb, Jeremiah, and Suzie all came over and told me what an asshole I was bein'…that you were a good kid and if I didn't change shit then you'd never have nothin' to do with the family as soon as you was able to. That's not what I want. You're my only son."

Life is such a freaky bitch sometimes.

I sat up and sighed, wishin' I had a cigarette, "Alright…"

I told him everything I could remember about all the crap mama had put me through, about meeting Edward and his parents, Peter and Charlotte…about my friends and about James…I told him everything, even shit he probably didn't wanna know…like how I started fallin' for Edward and what Sarah did…he said he wanted to know me, then I wasn't gonna hold back shit.

I don't remember fallin' asleep but the sound of the metal door unlocking, woke me up. The guard walked in, "Am I gonna have any more problems with you two?"

I shook my head and rasped out, "No, sir."

My dad shook his head, "No, Dave…we're good."

Dave smiled, "Good. Now you two get your sorry asses outta here and don't come back. Wayne, I'll call you later and check in with ya, man."

Dad nodded and we both stood and stretched before walking out of the cell. A few minutes later, we walked out and there was everyone, waitin' on me.

Em rushed my dad and I jumped in between them, "Calm down, dude…"

He huffed and backed away. And then Edward turned around and I saw one of his pretty green eyes, surrounded by puffy purple bruises.

Whoever hit him, was a dead fuckin' man.

He smiled and I grabbed his arms as I tilted his chin so I could see the bruise better. "Who did this, Eddie?"

He frowned now and looked down at the ground, "It doesn't really matter, Jay…it looks worse than it is."

I shook my head, "Tell me."

He sighed and looked up at me, "You didn't mean to…but when the fight broke out, we all ran to you but I'm the fastest so I got there first…"

I felt all the wind leave my chest as I rasped out, "I hit you?"

He nodded slowly, "Yes, but you didn't mean to. I don't think you even realized you did it…"

My dad was right, I was like him and if I didn't change that shit and learn to control my emotions…I was gonna end up hurtin' the people I loved more than anything. And he still took up for me.

I pulled him close and buried my nose in his neck, not caring about being in the middle of a police station with my dad standin' right next to me, "I'm sorry, Edward…I'm so fuckin' sorry…I swear it'll never happen again."

He held me and whispered into my neck, "I love you, Jay. Everything's going to be alright."

We all walked outside and then Carlisle, Esme, and Peter stood in front of my dad, "Mr. Whitlock, I'm Carlisle Cullen. Your son has become a part of my family and I will not leave him here in an abusive home for one more second. We are going to fight for his emancipation so that he can come back home to Washington, where he belongs."

And then Esme reached up and smacked the shit out of my dad as she growled, "If you ever…_ever_, lay a hand on him again, I will make the Texas State Penitentiary seem like fucking Disneyland!"

Jeremiah laughed and winked at Carlisle, "Got yourself a tiger there, Doc."

Carlisle smiled and laughed.

My dad held up his hands as his eyes went wide, "Okay! Down, woman…shit…"

I stepped over, "Me and my dad talked about a lot of stuff and he wants to talk to you, Carlisle, and Peter alone."

Carlisle nodded, "Of course, son. Where shall we go?"

I smiled, "I'm starvin'…can we go grab somethin' to eat?"

He nodded, "Yeah, we can do that."

My dad spoke up now, "There's this diner 'round the corner, they have good food and it's pretty quiet."

Jeremiah put his hand on my dad's shoulder, "Cool, I'll ride with Uncle Wayne and we'll meet ya'll there."

I crawled in the back seat of Carlisle's SUV and Edward grabbed my hand, bringin' my head down on his shoulder as he pulled his fingers through the curls, "Your dad agreed for you to come back home? What happened?"

I smiled up at him, "I have no idea but I kinda feel like I witnessed a miracle."

He smiled back at me, "Buddha said, 'I am the miracle.' I don't think you witnessed a miracle, Jay…I think you _are _the miracle."

I sighed, "I don't know about that, babe…"

He pulled my chin up to his and his green eyes sparkled, "You'll always be my angel, Jay, but that doesn't mean that you're not other people's angel too."

I smiled and whispered, "Thanks, Eddie."

He smiled back, "Anytime, Jay."

I was nervous when we all started piling into the empty diner but I was hopeful too that maybe my dad could change. Maybe I could have some kind of relationship with him. Cuz if anyone could help someone come over to the good side, it was my little posse.


	46. Chapter 46

**Um, hey…remember me? Yeah, so, I'm really sorry about the long delay. My computer crashed right after Christmas and I lost all of my writing, even the original story I was working on so I was pretty bummed. I stayed in a funk for a few days and then started writing again. Don't you worry, my darlings, I will never abandon this story. These boys are dear to me.**

**But I did learn an important lesson in backing up my shit so hey…silver lining and all…**

**Anyway, thanks for all the love and sorry to make ya'll worry so much. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Remember, the play list is on my you tube.**

**The Lengths by The Black Keys and Good Ol' Boys by Lil Wyte (This is the song playing in Jeremiah's truck)**

**Eddie's POV**

I was preparing for the worst and praying for the best. That was something my mother use to always say when I was waiting on my father to come home.

Although my prayers were rarely answered back then…I seemed to be on a pretty lucky streak. I know, considering all of the trials we've experienced these last few years that it may not seem that way, but in the grand scheme of things, I was the luckiest guy I knew.

I had more love than I thought my heart could ever hold. I had parents who _chose me_. I had Peter, who looked over me like a grandpa would do. I had all of my friends with their different personalities and strengths. I had Jay.

And as I looked around the diner at all of them, I decided that maybe everyone had an angel meant especially for them…Peter had Charlotte…Mom has Dad…Rosalie has Emmett…and from the way Jeremiah was smiling at Alice and making her blush and giggle, I wouldn't completely dismiss the notion of something going on there.

I was surrounded by an army of angels.

_Lovely…_

"Edward?"

I was brought to by his hand squeezing my knee gently under the table.

I looked up and smiled, "Yeah?"

His baby blue eyes looked almost gray today and I could see the dark circles underneath them. He looked exhausted…I suppose a night in jail could do that.

"You okay? You were spacin' off…"

I shrugged and possibly blushed a little, "Oh, um…I'm fine. Are you okay?"

His smile lit up his face and he nodded towards his dad, who was sitting on the other side of the diner with the grown ups. A waitress was pouring his coffee and he smiled up at her…he had dimples.

Jasper laughed, "I think my dad's havin' a mental breakdown…"

I smiled, "Maybe he's having a break_through_…"

Jasper leaned on his elbows on the table and smiled softly, "How do you do that?"

I looked at him in question, "Um…do what?"

His blue gray eyes searched mine, "You always try and think the best of people…even when they don't give you any reason too…"

He was looking at me like _I _was some sort of angelic creature and I couldn't stop the fire from rushing to my cheeks as I started playing with the straw in my orange juice, "Um…that's not really true…I didn't like Bella for a really long time…and, um…I still think Newton sucks…"

He leaned across the table and whispered, "That fuckin' blush is killin' me, Edward…"

_Oh that's nice…I'm blushing even harder now…thanks, Jay…_

I looked down at the table and played with a napkin because my heart was already racing and I feared I wouldn't be able to stop myself from leaning over the table and claiming what was mine.

But then I heard a loud smack and I lifted my eyes to see Jasper rubbing a red cheek and growling out, "What the fuck was that for?"

Jeremiah laughed, "You got anger control problems, Cuz…a good hard smack every now and then might do ya some good…"

Then he nudged me, "Bet you could help him out with that, huh, pretty boy?"

I could feel my cheeks go up in flames as I looked down at the table. But then I saw Jeremiah dodge a biscuit flying by his head and heard Jay laugh, "Quit embarrassing my boyfriend, fucker."

Then I looked up when I heard my mom's voice from across the restaurant, "Jasper, is that how we behave in a restaurant, dear? Go pick up the biscuit."

Jay smiled as he stood, "Sorry, Esme."

Jeremiah snickered and I heard my mom again, "Jeremiah, I was speaking to you too, darling. You boys act your age."

Jeremiah had the decency to blush a little and duck his head, "Yes, ma'am."

Jay threw the biscuit away and sat back down as the waitress brought our food. Everyone ate their breakfast and chatted a bit but I kept an eye on our parents. Mom and dad seemed calm as Wayne spoke and Peter stared out the window.

I worried about Peter.

Wayne wasn't like I imagined. He was very tall, like Jay, but his arms were huge and he had a bit of a beer belly. He looked very strong yesterday but Jay did get the best of him.

I really hoped he would let Jay come home.

I felt him nudge my foot underneath the table so I looked over to his pale blue eyes. I noticed that he winced slightly and I prayed that my eye would heal soon because I knew that he felt bad about it.

I smiled and whispered, "I'm fine, Jay."

He narrowed his eyes and looked down at his plate, pushing the food around with his fork.

Jeremiah stood up and said, "Hey Cuz, I'm goin' out for a smoke…wanna come?"

Jay nodded and stood. I sighed and looked down, silently wishing that he would talk to me.

"Hey Eddie, you comin'?"

I look up with a huge grin, "Sure, Jay."

We tell my parents that we're stepping out for fresh air and once we're outside, we step off to the side of the building.

Jeremiah pulls out a cigarette and passes one to Jay. Then he offers me one but I just shake my head and politely say no thank you.

They both light their cigarettes and I tell Jay that I'll keep an eye out for mom so he doesn't get busted smoking.

After a couple drags, Jay finally speaks, "You're right, Cuz. I do have problems controllin' myself sometimes. I'm gonna talk to the Doc about it and see what I can do to fix it."

Jeremiah nods, "You do that, Cuz. I'd hate to see you throw your whole life away like your daddy. You're too smart for that, Jay. If there's one person in this family that can change things, it's you. Don't fuck it up."

Jay nodded and his eyes flashed to mine briefly before looking away again.

I resisted the urge to slide my fingertips across his cheek and into his honey curls. Instead I whispered, "Look at me."

He let out a deep breath and lifted his pretty blue eyes to mine.

I smiled softly, "I'm okay, Jay. You didn't mean to hit me…it's really not a big deal…"

He narrowed his eyes and huffed, "Quit lettin' me off so damn easy, Edward. It _is _a big deal. There is _never _an excuse for me to hurt you…I don't care if I'm drinkin' or mad as hell or what…it's _never _okay. I mean, _fuck_, Edward…what if that was Alice? Or Esme? What if Peter would've gotten to me first? I can't keep makin' excuses for the stupid shit I do…I'm better than that. You deserve better than that."

I furrowed my brows and looked down at the broken sidewalk beneath our feet. I sighed and raised my eyes to his. With a small smile, I spoke softly, "I wasn't excusing what you did, Jasper…I was just forgiving you for it. And I know I let you off easy sometimes but I feel like your life has been hard enough without me adding unnecessary worry. You're not an abusive or mean person…you messed up, yeah, but we all mess up sometimes. It's only a black eye, Jay, and I'm certain that you will do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn't happen again. You're kind of amazing like that."

I grinned crookedly at him as I was rewarded with a breathtaking dimpled smile, "And you're really fuckin' beautiful, Eddie…"

Jeremiah started laughing, "Holy shit…ya'll are cute as hell…"

I broke my eyes from Jay's and looked down at the ground while a faint blush came to my cheeks.

Just then, the restaurant door opened and my dad came out, walking over to us with a small smile.

Jasper furrowed his brows as he took a drag and slowly exhaled, "You alright, Carlisle?"

My dad nodded and looked around a moment before raising his eyes to meet ours, "Yes, son, I'm fine. I just wanted to…um…"

He looked a little flustered as he drug his hand through his blonde hair, "I just wanted to talk to you boys a minute about something…"

Jeremiah started to flip his cigarette out, "I'll let ya'll alone…"

My dad shook his head and put his hand on Jeremiah's shoulder, "That's okay, son, you don't have to leave."

Jeremiah nodded and leaned against the building next to Jay.

"First, I just want to let you boys know how proud I am of you. You're so strong and fearless…unlike most boys your age, hell, unlike most adults I know…but I do worry about your…lack of discretion…"

I furrowed my brows and dad held up his hand, "Wait, son, let me finish."

I nodded and looked down.

"I know that you love each other very much and physical contact comes naturally between you two, however, I would like to ask that while in certain public situations, you utilize caution. Not everyone is understanding of what you share and I fear that your openness will lead to unwanted attention from…well, from the assholes who don't understand what real love is all about. I am, in no way, trying to push you back into the closet but I just worry for your safety. I know it's not fair, but as you saw at the carnival you boys visited earlier this summer, some people will try and hurt you…"

I crossed my arms over my chest and furrowed my brows, "But, dad, we handled that okay…"

He nodded, "You did, son, but what would have happened if you didn't? What if something would've happened to you and I was all the way back in Washington, unable to get to you? It's a horrible fact that people have been beaten half to death and even killed before in similar situations. You boys were lucky. I don't like it but the truth is that you are more susceptible to the wrath of people's ignorance than most couples. Because of this, I just ask that you be cautious of your surroundings…especially here…"

Jeremiah cleared his throat and looked over at me with a smile, "Don't you worry, pretty boy…I'll make sure you have some alone time with your boy, okay? But you're daddy's right…it's like a whole different world down here and if Jay ends up stayin', the assholes 'round here don't need anymore ammunition against him."

It wasn't that big of a deal that we behaved like friends in public…I mean, after all, we were _best _friends.

I nodded, "Okay, dad."

Jasper smiled, "We'll cool it, Carlisle…so how's it goin' in there?"

Dad chuckled and took a deep breath before a tired smile pulled at the corner of his lips, "Well, Esme is currently showing your father your report cards and the letters she had some of your teachers write on your behalf. I swear, that woman would make an excellent lawyer."

Then he sighed and looked over at Jeremiah, "Can I get a cigarette, son?"

My mouth dropped open as Jay smiled and Jeremiah handed him a cigarette and lighter.

"Dad? You don't smoke."

I reminded him because I can remember him going on and on about the effects of tobacco on our bodies.

He slowly exhaled with a sigh, "You're right, I don't. Now watch the door for your mother…"

I started to protest, "But dad…"

He smirked, "Son, I smoke once or twice a month, nothing more. As foolish as it sounds, it does help to ease the tension. You must understand that your mother is never to know of this…I would never hear the end of it. Besides, it would be a shame if I let it slip that you snuck out and spent the night with Jasper your last night at home."

My mouth dropped again as my eyes went wide.

_How the hell did he know about that?_

As if reading my mind, he laughed, "There were wet tracks from the bicycle tires in the garage when I went down to clean out the car. You must've just made it home. I didn't tell your mother because I remember what it's like to be 16. I figured the uncomfortable ride home on the tiny bicycle seat was punishment enough. By the way, I really don't like you sneaking out. It's very dangerous. You will _always _tell me before you leave the house because should I wake up _again _and not know where you are…I swear I will have Charlie place you on house arrest. Now watch the door."

I grimaced, "Sorry, dad."

He smiled, "Forgiven, son."

I turned to watch the door while they chatted a little bit about Jeremiah's impending leave. He talked a lot about how he worries about his baby but he just didn't know what else he could do. He couldn't find a good job and only had his GED. He didn't see any other options.

I respected Jeremiah. He was a genuinely good person who seemed totally brave and fearless…I supposed that maybe those traits ran deep in the Whitlock blood.

I briefly wondered how deep the Masen blood ran in me but shook away the thoughts as we all walked back inside.

My mother was smiling so I took that as a good sign.

She called Jasper over and I sighed as I turned to go back to our table, wishing that I had super sonic hearing so I would know what's going on.

But I wasn't some super cool mythological creature…I was just an ordinary human being. Well, maybe not completely ordinary but still…

"Hey Eddie, you comin'?"

I raised my eyes up to see his face looking at me with a bit of confusion. I nodded, "Um, yeah."

When I reached him, he whispered, "Hey, babe, have you taken your medicine today?"

I thought about that a moment before I sighed and shook my head, "No, I forgot."

He nudged my shoulder and smiled, "It's not a big deal, you can take it after we leave."

I looked over at him and took a breath, "It _is_ a big deal, Jay. I need to remember to take my medicine because it will only make me worse if I take it sporadically."

I pulled out my phone and set my reminder alarm again, "When my alarm went off this morning, I was half asleep and thought for a moment you were calling. It made me mad so I turned it off and went back to sleep. I won't turn it off again."

He sighed, "I'm sorry for makin' you worry about me…"

I shrugged, "It's okay, Jay…"

He smirked, "You really do let me off too easy, Eddie."

I just smiled, "I'm kind of a low maintenance guy…um, apart from the whole 'crazy' thing."

He laughed and rolled his eyes before nudging my shoulder and whispering, "I think you're the sanest person I know."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, "Sadly, that may be true, in your case."

We both laughed, the mood significantly lightened and my mission accomplished. I hated for Jay to be nervous because I could feel it radiating off of him in waves. Jasper was a very passionate, very strong person who could easily influence the moods of those around him.

We pulled out chairs and sat down. I couldn't stop the way my stomach churned as the anxiety started trickling in.

But I forced a smile anyway.

After all, Jay did teach me how to act like everything's okay.

Wayne cleared his throat and stared at his cup of coffee, "Son, I don't want you to go but I do want what's best for you. I know that it probably ain't a good idea for us to live under the same roof…we know how to push each other's buttons a little too good. If you wanted to stay, Peter offered to stay with you for awhile and get an apartment…"

My mouth dropped open. I wasn't expecting that.

Neither was Jay. He looked over at Peter with confusion, "Peter? I couldn't ask you to leave your home for me…"

Peter smiled softly and looked out the window, "It's only an option, son. Truth is…it might do me some good to…get some space…distance…everything I see…everything I smell and touch…I _feel _her everywhere. I can't…_think _of anything else…but I gotta try…gotta see you boys graduate and go off to college. I promised Charlotte I'd make it till you were grown. I intend on keepin' my promise."

Wayne sighed and played with the spoon in his coffee, "So, like Peter said, Texas is an option. But I figured that you damn near raised yourself and you done a pretty good job so maybe I oughta back off and let you do what you think's best. I'd really like for you to stay, son…but the choice is yours. If you wanna go back to Washington, I won't try and stop you."

I couldn't believe it…Jay was coming home.

He was in shock as he just looked at his dad in disbelief. I nudged his knee to get his attention and he turned his baby blues to me and smiled widely, "Holy shit, I'm comin' home."

I laughed and resisted the urge to kiss those smooth pink lips of his, being cautious of my surroundings and all.

But I did squeeze his thigh under the table which earned me a sly smirk and a whispered, "Later."

Wayne smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, "I better get goin' on home now…Carlisle here says that ya'll will stay a few days…till Jeremiah leaves on Tuesday. Your Aunt Barb is havin' a barbecue tonight and wanted all of ya to come…meet the family. Hope to see ya there."

He got up and walked away. Jeremiah ran outside and caught up with him. They were talking as Jay went over and told everyone the good news. Alice shrieked and practically jumped on him. Rose even gave him a quick hug and Emmett was already talking about their football team this year.

Peter was staring off out the window again and mom and dad were looking into each other's eyes and smiling, not saying a word…but not really needing to.

Jeremiah eventually walked back in, wearing a smile that also did not quite reach his eyes. He walked up and pulled Jay into a one arm hug/back pat thing and said, "Goin' back to Washington, huh? Good for you, Cuz."

Jay sensed something, I could tell by the way he whispered, "What's up, Cuz?"

Jeremiah just shook his head and broke into a dimpled grin, "Nothin', man, 'cept I'm dog-ass tired and mama's preparin' a barbecue which means she's gonna put my ass to work the second I walk in the door…"

Jay laughed and my mom and dad walked up.

"Well, we're going back to the hotel for a bit, maybe take a nap, it was a long night."

My dad spoke with a yawn and he really did look worn out. Jay smiled, "A shower and sleep sounds so good right now."

Esme smiled, "Jeremiah, dear, would you like to come back with us for awhile? You know there's plenty of room for you to take a nap. You were up all night too."

Jeremiah grinned, "Thanks, mama bear…I think I'll take ya up on that."

My parents walked on ahead of us and I noticed the smirk in the corner of his mouth as he looked down at Alice.

She was blushing a bit but looking up at him with a beautiful smile.

They spent a lot of time together last night, talking. Jeremiah had stayed all night with us at the hotel. We all camped out in one of the rooms and hung out. Mom, dad, and Peter went to sleep eventually but the rest of us stayed up.

Jeremiah was fiercely loyal to his family because that was all he ever had. He didn't know who his father was and his half-sister, Suzie's, father left when he was three. The only people that had been there for him were his mom and his Uncle Wayne.

Apparently, Wayne had helped him out of some trouble he got in a few years ago when their other cousin went to prison for stealing cars. He had been trying to walk the straight and narrow ever since that scare.

It was hard on him but when Jasper came back, he said it gave him someone to look after so that helped keep him busy and focused. He had tried with Suzie but she was getting so out of hand, he didn't know how to reach her. But Jasper had been doing well so it gave him hope that he could do well too.

Jasper was more important to people's lives than he ever realized.

Once we reached the hotel; mom, dad, and Peter went back to their room, Rosalie and Emmett went to their room, and that left me, Jay, Alice, and Jeremiah in the last room.

There were two queen sized beds in the room.

Jeremiah kicked off his shoes and fell into one of the beds. Then he patted the spot next to him and smiled at Alice, "C'mon, baby girl, I don't bite…I just nibble..."

She laughed as she crawled up next to him. They were on top of the blanket, fully clothed but when she laid her head on the pillow and he wrapped his arms around her, it seemed very intimate.

I heard him whisper, "Is this okay?"

She smiled and nodded.

Jay just shook his head, "I'm gonna go take a shower, babe."

I nodded and crawled into the other bed, after kicking off my shoes. I quickly took my medicine and then laid my head down. I was out before Jasper even came to bed.

I woke up, some time later with Jay's strong arms wrapped around me and his hard length pressed against my ass…his breath on my ear and soft curls against my cheek.

I opened my eyes to see Alice and Jeremiah still asleep and cuddled up. I smiled and snuggled back into Jay's chest for a minute before looking at the clock and figuring we had better get up.

I turned my head and whispered, "Jay? Wake up, baby…"

He groaned and shook his head. Then his rough voice barely broke through, "Don't wanna…five more minutes, baby boy…"

He tightened his arms around me and I couldn't help but give in as I closed my eyes again.

I was awoken the next time by a knock on the door and my dad's voice, "Boys, it's time to wake up."

I jumped from bed and stumbled to the door, realizing that Jeremiah and Alice were already gone.

I pulled open the door and yawned as I nodded, "Okay, we're up. Where's Alice and Jeremiah?"

"Emmett gave Jeremiah a ride home about an hour ago. I believe the girls are getting ready for the barbecue. You boys need to get ready, we'll be leaving in about half an hour."

I nodded again and he walked away as I shut the door.

I crawled on top of my sleeping angel and buried my nose in his honey curls, breathing him in before I whispered, "Wake up, love."

He groaned as his hands slid up my thighs to my ass and squeezing it as he rocked his hips up into mine, "Wanna fuck?"

My cock most definitely wanted to fuck…but we were leaving in half an hour and I had to get ready…I mean, I was meeting a lot of his family for the first time.

I wanted to make a good impression.

I raised my head and kissed the tip of his nose, "Sorry, Jay, but we're leaving in half an hour. We need to get ready."

I started to raise up when he pulled me back down. His fingers wove into my hair and pulled my lips to his. I wanted to protest but then his tongue was in my mouth and his soft moan resonated through my body.

He rolled us over, our bodies tangled in the sheets and him in-between my legs, pressing me into the mattress…

I held onto him like an anchor…and he was.

He was my anchor to the real world…and such an incredible lover that I didn't need to live in a fantasy world.

Reality was much, much better.

I felt his chest heaving against mine as we kissed each other breathless. He eventually broke away and nipped at my bottom lip, "You give me 15 minutes, pretty boy…I can give you that freshly fucked look a helluva lot better than any fuckin' gel."

I smiled and he looked up at me with a dimpled grin, "Wanna fuck now?"

I laughed and nodded, "Yeah, we have to hurry though."

He sat up on his knees and smiled, "Down and dirty, it is."

And then he was pulling me up on my knees to face him, tearing my shirt over my head before attacking my lips.

I moaned into his mouth as I reached for the bottom of his shirt, breaking the kiss briefly to yank it over his head and toss it somewhere.

Eager hands were pushing and pulling, as clothes went flying with reckless abandon.

Our naked bodies were pressed together as he leaned back onto the bed, reaching for the lube in the nightstand drawer.

He kissed my lips softly and whispered, "Now, do ya wanna _fuck _or do you wanna _be _fucked?"

I moaned against his lips, grabbing the lube and squeezing a little in my hand before reaching down and stroking his long, hard cock.

"Fuck me, Jay," I whispered breathlessly.

I loved fucking Jasper but in all honesty, I think I loved him fucking me more. I loved the way he took control of my body, so powerful and strong but gentle and caring.

I trusted him with my body more than I trusted myself.

He moaned and bit his lip as he fucked my slick hand while his now wet finger began pushing into my hole.

The stretch and burn of his fingers inside of me had me rocking into him, eager for more. I opened my eyes to see his burning into mine, half lidded and dark. He whispered breathlessly, "Ya ready, baby?"

I nodded and he eased out his fingers while I let go of his gorgeous hard cock.

Within moments, my knees were hooked over his arms as he started pushing into me slowly but steadily until I gasped and he was fully seated.

He stilled for a moment until I finally opened my eyes and moaned, "Fuck me, baby…hard and fast…"

He clenched my thighs between his fingers as his held me tight and just started drilling me.

I was being fucked senseless as my eyes squeezed shut and my mouth hung open, unable to formulate anything past grunts.

The force of his body hitting mine sent shock waves through my body. Each slap of my ass against his thighs and his very long dick filling me completely, hitting my sweet spot over and over was quickly bringing me to the edge.

My hand was wrapped around my cock but I couldn't focus enough to stroke it.

And then he let go of my legs and pressed me into the mattress, taking my lips as I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed up to somehow draw him even deeper.

He growled into the kiss as his fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me harder to meet his every thrust.

I could feel every muscle in his stomach contracting and sliding against mine, trapping my cock between them. My hands slid around to his ass, clenching it between my fingers, urging him to fuck me harder…if such a thing were possible.

He broke from the kiss with a low moan as his head fell on my shoulder. He whispered, "I love fuckin' your ass, Edward…you're so god damn tight…you feel so fuckin' good around my dick…I'm gonna cum so mother fuckin hard inside you, baby…"

I could feel the fire burning in the pit of my stomach and my toes begin to curl.

I loved when he talked dirty.

I was so close…

"Don't you dare fuckin' come…I'm gonna cum first inside your ass…then I'm gonna suck you off…"

I bit my lip and squeezed his ass tight as he bit my shoulder. His thrusts became erratic as he moaned and shuddered as he came deep inside of me.

I gasped when he withdrew and quickly slid down my body, taking my throbbing cock down his throat, swallowing around it as his tongue slid all around.

Within seconds my hands were tangled in his dampened honey curls, holding his head as my body finally gave in and I erupted down his warm, wet throat.

We laid there a minute and I started to drift off when Jay chuckled, "Come on, babe…we got about ten minutes to get ready."

I jumped up, "Shit!"

He laughed as he walked in the bathroom behind me and we both proceeded to take, what he called a "whore bath." We washed our private areas and stuff and then brushed our teeth. He smiled as I pulled on my shirt, "Your hair really does look good."

I laughed as I looked in the mirror, "You're right…you're much better than hair gel."

We made our way down the stairs and out into the parking lot. Everyone was there, including Wayne and Jeremiah who had both driven.

Wayne was talking to my mom and dad as Jasper and I walked up.

Mom smiled up at Jay, "Your dad offered to drive us over to your Aunt's house."

Wayne shrugged and smiled a little, "I'm the designated driver…"

Jasper smiled, "That's good, dad, but you know how much liquor Aunt Barb has…are you gonna be okay?"

Wayne scratched at the whiskers on his chin and sighed, "It ain't gonna be easy but nothin' ever really is…I'll be alright, son. Semper fi and all that shit."

Jeremiah walked over with his trademark grin that always made his eyes crinkle in the corners as the sparkled with mischief.

"Eddie, Jay, ya'll are ridin' with me. Alice, Rose, and Em are gonna follow us."

Mom, dad, Peter and Wayne piled into his extended cab truck while we all got ourselves situated.

Jeremiah had a big black truck and I gulped when Jay motioned for me to get in first. I sat there as Jay slid next to me on one side and Jeremiah on the next.

It wasn't entirely unpleasant being sandwiched in-between the two of them.

_There's something seriously wrong with me…_

I blushed at my thoughts and jumped a little when the truck roared to life, the cab vibrating with the bass of his music.

Jay laid his arm across the seat behind me and teased the hairs on the back of my neck. I broke out into goose bumps and he just grinned at me.

Jeremiah pulled up next to Em's Jeep and turned down the music, "Yo Em, ya'll follow me…"

Then he smiled at Alice in the back seat, "Did'ja miss me?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed, "I saw you an hour ago."

He smirked, "You didn't answer my question, baby girl…did'ja miss me? Were ya thinkin' bout me?"

_Oh my God, Alice is blushing…_

She smiled as she kicked Rosalie's seat in front of her, Rose laughing hysterically at her.

"Maybe a little…"

He smirked, "Just a little, huh…damn, I've been thinkin' bout you since the moment I left…"

Now she smirked, "Well maybe you should've asked me to ride with you."

He just grinned, "Don't you worry now, baby doll…I'll take you for a ride later."

Then he winked and turned his music back up before pulling out of the parking lot.

Jay reached over and turned the music down, "Cuz, I love you, man…but don't hurt Alice. She's a good girl…"

Jeremiah rolled his eyes, "What? Am I a bad guy or somethin'?"

Jay sighed, "That's not what I meant, Jeremiah…"

Jeremiah chuckled and pulled out a cigarette, "You're entirely too uptight, Cuz…I like Alice but she knows I'm leavin' in a couple days. I don't gotta lie to get a girl to fuck me, Jay…Alice is a big girl and if she lets me fuck then I'm gonna fuck…and if she lets me write her while I'm gone, I might do that too. She knows I'm not lookin' for a relationship…she ain't either so we're just havin' some fun."

Then he smirked, "Besides, as petite as that girl is…I can break off some crazy acrobatical type shit, son…"

Jay laughed and shook his head, "You're so full of shit, Cuz…"

Jeremiah nudged me, "You know what I'm talkin' bout, huh pretty boy? Us Whitlock's, we ain't all that successful or wealthy and shit…but we look good and we rock the cock in the bedroom…it's like our legacy and shit…"

I blushed but then realized that I was getting ready to meet all of Jasper's relatives at a barbecue in Texas…I had better toughen up a little bit.

I took a deep breath and smiled over at Jay, "He's right, Jay. Alice is a grown woman and who are you to deny her chance at experiencing the Whitlock legacy?"

Jay laughed and just shook his head, "Fine, I'll back off."

Jeremiah smiled and took a drag of his cigarette, "Eddie, my man…you got mad skills yo…"

I laughed.

_What in the hell is he talking about?_

He smiled, "Fo sho…"

Now Jay laughed, "You high, Cuz?"

Jeremiah snorted a little then tried to hide it with a cough, "Maybe a little."

Then he reached up and tousled my hair while he grinned at Jay, "Your hair looks good by the way, Ed…Jay did good, huh?"

I fought a blush as Jasper laughed, "Don't you worry, Cuz…I hold it down for the Whitlock's just fine…"

Jeremiah laughed then he handed Jay his cigarette pack, "I got a blunt roach in there if ya'll wanna toke up 'fore family time and shit…"

Jay looked at it for a second before passing it back to him, "No, we're good right now, Cuz. I don't think we need to be all fucked up in front of Esme, Carlisle, and Peter."

I squeezed his knee a little to let him know I thought that was a good decision and I was proud of him.

Jeremiah shrugged, "That's cool but ya'll are gonna get fucked up with me tonight, right? I already talked to your daddy bout ya'll stayin' the night…we got a keg and shit but I didn't tell your daddy that…"

I looked over at Jeremiah with a crooked smile, "My dad said we could stay the night?"

He laughed, "Yup…ya'll can have my room cuz as long as I got a roof over my head, you will always…_always_, have a place to fuck. That's what family's all about…and shit…"

I could've kissed Jeremiah…but quickly realized that was quite inappropriate.

Because he was family…and family wasn't made of flesh and bone but of heart and soul…and apparently, family always gave you a place to fuck.


	47. Chapter 47

**Hey guys, I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this out. I'm an accountant and this time of year is crazy for me, on top of all my other responsibilities…plus I got the stupid flu over the weekend. But please, be patient with me for awhile and know that even if it takes me a minute to update, I will finish this story. I would never abandon it or any of you cuz I know how bad that shit sucks to read something you like and it never gets finished…I won't do that to you! Promise!**

**Thanks for reading and hope ya'll enjoy!**

**Jay's POV**

As we pulled up in front of Aunt Barb's house, I felt my stomach drop as reality hit me and I realized that Carlisle, Esme, and Edward were about to meet my whole damn family.

Of course, I knew that the Cullen's would never judge me for anything my family did but I worried that it might be one hell of a culture shock for them.

Cuz in my family, we cussed like truckers, drank like fish, and had no fuckin' verbal filter, whatsoever.

It didn't surprise me to hear the house already thumping with country music.

The 'rents were already there and Carlisle was helping Peter out of the truck.

I looked over at Edward and let out a breath, "You ready for this?"

Scarlet already colored his cheeks but he took a deep breath and nodded, "Um…yeah…I think…"

Smiling, I squeezed his thigh in reassurance, "Don't worry, babe, I'm sure they're gonna love you…"

_God damn mother fuckers better be good to him…_

A smile tugged at the corner of his cherry lips, "I want them to like me, Jay, but it's really only important that you like me."

Resisting the urge to lock my fingers into his freshly-fucked hair and shove my tongue halfway down his throat for being such a sweet little fucker, I just whispered, "Well, I love you, Eddie. Thanks for doin' this."

The conviction his pretty green eyes held caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand up as he whispered back, "There is _nothing _I wouldn't do for you, Jasper…"

There were just no words for the way that boy made me feel…but I had to reign that shit in cuz we were gettin' ready to walk into the belly of the beast…

A.K.A. Whitlock family barbecue

But I didn't come this fuckin' far and go through so much shit for _these _mother fuckers to break me…

Taking one last deep breath, I smiled, "Let's go."

We all piled out of the truck and were joined by Em, Rose, and Ali. We walked in the front gate and Jeremiah smiled, "Well, c'mon, ya'll, follow the music."

We followed dad and Jeremiah 'round to the back of the house.

My cousins Ethan and Caleb were here with a couple of girls. Suzie was sitting on a lawn chair next to granny Whitlock and she broke out into a huge grin when she saw us.

A minute later she was runnin' up to us and surprised me when she threw her arms around my waist and gave me a quick hug.

She pulled back and smiled, "Hey Jay, thank God ya'll finally got here…I've been havin' to entertain granny and ya know what a hateful ol' bag she is..."

I knew exactly what she meant, in fact, my granny was really the only one I was really worried about here. I had only actually met her a handful of times but she was old school. She was 79 years old and hateful as the day is long.

The only thing I knew of for certain about my granny was that she didn't discriminate against no one…she hated everybody equally.

A nudge brought me from my worries as Suzie eyed Edward with a smirk on her face, "So, ya gonna introduce me, ya rude bastard, or have you forgotten all your southern boy manners already?"

See…no verbal filter.

I laughed, "Well, it's a good thing you haven't lost your ladylike southern charm, Suzie Q…"

She giggled and sighed, "Shit, Jay…it's too bad you're goin' back up north, it woulda been pretty cool to have you around when I start high school this year…"

I felt kinda bad so I just went to introductions.

She laughed as she eyed everyone with child like curiosity and awe, "Wow…I don't know what they're puttin' in the water up there in Washington but ya'll are pretty as a picture..."

She twirled her long hair around her fingers shyly as she looked up at Rosalie, "Your hair is so beautiful…"

Then she looked at Alice who she actually stood a few inches taller than, "And those are the cutest shoes I have ever seen…"

You could see the light in Alice's eyes at the mention of her shoes, "I just love these shoes! I got them at this little boutique in Italy two years ago. Which reminds me, where's the closest mall because I really have to get some boots while I'm here. Oh, we should go shopping together, have you gone back-to-school clothes shopping yet?"

Suzie looked down and shrugged, "Um, no, but we really don't have the money this year…"

Without even thinking, I bent down and whispered, "Yeah, ya do…"

She looked up at me in confusion and I just smiled, "Don't worry about it, I got a little extra and besides, nobody shops like Alice does, you'll be in good hands."

The Texas sun must've completely melted that Ice Queen exterior away as Rosalie smiled warmly, "Why don't we make a girls day out of it, maybe see if Esme and your mom would like to go?"

Alice bounced, "Yes, that sounds like so much fun! How about tomorrow? We could get our hair and nails done and then grab some lunch and…"

Knowing that Suzie had likely never met anyone as hyper as my little pixie friend, I laughed at the look on her face as she tried to keep up, "Reign it in, Ali…you're goin' way too fast for country folk."

She rolled her eyes at me and Suzie looked down as she mumbled, "I'll never look as pretty as ya'll do…"

Jeremiah stepped forward and bent down to look up at her, "Girl, you're a mother fuckin', Whitlock, and we don't ever look down for nobody…"

Then he laughed as he put her in a headlock, giving her one hell of a noogy, "Cuz when ya look down, ya can't see what's comin'…"

She fought back against him, laughing as she broke free and smacked him in the back of the head. She started running her fingers through her hair to straighten out the tangled waves as she laughed, "You're such an asshole, Bubby."

He smiled, "Yeah."

Then she blushed and bit her lip as she whispered, "Thanks for the money, Jay."

The money really didn't mean shit to me…I mean, don't get me wrong, it would be nice not to struggle so much but really…I already had everything I needed.

Except maybe a truck…

And besides, I knew that Alice and Rosalie could help her pick out clothes that made her look a little more…classy. I figured a little time with them might be good for her because Suzie lacked confidence, that's why she dressed and acted the way she did…she figured it was the only way to get anyone to notice her.

"Hey ya'll…"

I turned my head to see Aunt Barb walking up, "Suzie, darlin, go get your granny some iced tea…"

Suzie nodded, "Okay, mama…it was nice to meet ya'll, I'll talk to ya later…"

She ran off and thankfully, Jeremiah took over introductions.

Sticking out his hand to my aunt, Carlisle smiled, "The food smells wonderful, Barbara, thank you for inviting us. It's so nice to meet you."

Barb blushed, apparently no one is immune to Daddy C's charm, "Oh, well it weren't no trouble at all, there's plenty of food…fried chicken and barbecued ribs, so ya'll just make yourselves at home."

Jeremiah started fishing around in the cooler before grabbing two beers, popping the top off one and taking a long pull as he instinctively tossed me the other one, "Heads up, Cuz."

I caught it with wide eyes as I looked at Esme and sighed while I handed the bottle to Carlisle, "Thanks, but we're under 21 and it's illegal for us to drink."

I wanted to kick my own ass for sounding like such a douche but Esme and Carlisle's opinion of me was important.

Edward, Emmett, and the girls tried to stifle their laughter and Carlisle chuckled under his breath as he took a drink of the beer.

I gave Jeremiah a glare and he just shrugged, "Eh…I'm sort of a rebel…"

Barb rolled her eyes, "Mind your manners, son…"

Jeremiah grabbed another beer and smiled, "Sorry, mama…Esme, Peter, would ya'll like a beer?"

I seriously wanted to face palm myself but I just closed my eyes and shook my head instead.

Esme's light hearted laughter surprised me, "A beer would be wonderful, thank you, darling. This heat is really something."

Jeremiah handed her a beer and I watched as she and Carlisle clanked their bottles and took a long draw. Peter wiped his brow with his handkerchief, "No, thank ya, son…"

I went over to him, "How 'bout some iced tea, Peter?"

He nodded, "That'd be nice, son."

The heat was getting to him and I wanted to get him into the shade, "Well, c'mon, let's go find you a place to sit and I'll make your plate for ya…"

There were some scattered plastic lawn chairs and an old picnic table so everybody dug right in and found a place to sit, easily chatting it up with Barb and my dad. I realized that they were all around the same age and they seemed to be getting along well.

Caleb and Ethan hadn't spoken to me so I figured they weren't being as open minded as everyone else seemed to be. The were playing corn hole with their girlfriends in the back of the yard and wouldn't even look in my direction.

Well, and then there was granny Whitlock. This woman might be the downfall of this whole damn thing. She was sitting under the shade tree, clutching onto her Bible with her lips pursed together tightly. My dad eventually got up and went over to sit with her. It didn't take long to see the anger etched on both of their faces as they began arguing about something. Daddy was tryin' to keep it quiet but that old woman had a voice that could break glass and rivaled the annoyance of fingernails scratching down chalkboards.

I knew everyone heard her as she screeched out, "It just ain't right, son! You shouldn't be defendin' him, you oughtta be beatin' the fear of God back into that boy!"

I looked down at the table as I felt my anxiety rise, my cheeks flush and my whole body bursts into flames…or at least I wish it would. I could defend myself against bigger guys and older men…but how the hell do you defend yourself against a 79 year old woman?

Daddy's words fell on deaf ears as she continued to call me out in front of everybody.

"Layin' with another man is a sin! That's why God gave them perverts Aids and diseases, cuz they gotta suffer for their sins!"

Edward nudged my foot and I looked at him, feeling the strange calm of his ease begin to wash over me. He didn't look embarrassed or mad or anything…in fact, he gave me a small crooked grin before standing up and walking over towards my granny.

Anxiety crashed over me in waves as I just watched, feeling completely helpless, as he walked over to try and reason with the devil incarnate.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Whitlock…"

She scowled at him, "What do _you _want?"

The tell-tale signs of anxiety also began to rise in Edward as he ran his fingers through his crazy hair and blew out a huff of air. But then he drew a breath in and raised his head…he was nervous but he tried valiantly not to show it. He cleared his throat and spoke quietly, "Um…the bible says that, 'suffering produces endurance, and endurances produces character, and character produces hope'…Romans, chapter 5, verses 3 and 4."

The disgust on her haggard face was blatantly evident as she wrinkled her nose up and cackled, "I think I know the bible better than you do, boy…I live my life by it…"

Confidence and passion just rolled off my boys tongue as he smiled that cocky crooked grin that always tells me he's ready to debate…

"Good, then you know of Luke chapter 6, verse 36, 'Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful'…or Matthew 7:1, 'Judge not, that ye not be judged…and Ephesians 4:29, 'Let no evil talk come out of your mouth, but only what is good for giving necessary teaching, and for grace to those who give ear'…"

Granny was turnin' ten shades of red as we all watched in horror as someone actually dare to challenge her ancient opinions. But what my poor boy didn't know was that there was a long runnin' joke in our family that when the end of the world came around…the only thing left would be the cock roaches and granny Whitlock.

The old lady was tough as nails and stubborn as a barn yard mule. Eddie had one hell of a fight on his hands…but I was hopeful that he'd win.

And even if he didn't win with granny, the little fucker won with me.

Hatred rolled off her bitter tongue as she spat, "Just cuz you memorized a few bible verses to help sell your evil deeds, don't think you can fool a good ol' Christian woman like me. I know the Good Book like the back of my hand, raised on it 'fore I could even read the words…you're the devil's plaything, boy…a filthy, perverted little creature and all o'ya'll are gonna burn in hell for your sins…"

Several things happened at once…Edward cringed a bit, Esme and Carlisle were out of their chairs, daddy was yellin, "That's enough, mama!", and I was already at Edward's side, ready to tell the ol' bitch to save me a seat since she'd be in hell long before I would.

But before I could open my mouth, Edward was shaking his head at all of us and steeling himself, "It's okay, please let me handle this."

Reluctantly, I backed off but I swear to God if that hateful ol' cunt spouts off at the mouth one more mother fuckin' time…

Taking a moment to gather himself, his confidence returned as he looked down into her cold, gray eyes, "You're right, the bible does say that homosexuality is a sin but not an unforgivable one. It also says 'for _all _have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.' And Mark chapter 7 says, 'Because from inside, from the heart of men, come evil thoughts and unclean pleasures. The taking of goods and of life, broken faith between husband and wife, the desire of wealth, wrongdoing, deceit, sins of the flesh, an evil eye, _**angry words**_, pride, foolish acts: _All _these evil things come from inside, and make the man unclean.' Do you really hold yourself in the same regard as your Heavenly Father, Mrs. Whitlock? Sin free?"

Words seemed to fail her for a moment as she gaped at him, for once in her long ass life, finally being shocked speechless.

The pride I felt for my beautiful strong boy as he stood up for us was overwhelming. My anxiety was replaced with his conviction as he continued to make my granny shut the hell up and listen.

"The bible tells us that we are born of a sin nature, inherited through the original sin of man when Adam and Eve were thrown out of the Garden of Eden for eating from the tree of knowledge. So now, man kind has knowledge of good _and _evil. Hatred is one of the things we learned when we fell from grace. Humility…shame…anger…spiteful words…the desire to hurt others…those are all tools the devil uses to make it seem ok to do evil…to justify it…so it seems that perhaps he plays with us all at some point in our lives. But I will not let evil words or unfair judgments take away my self worth. I would rather be hated for what I am, than loved for something I am not. James 4:17 says that a man who has knowledge of how to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin…you know that hate and angry words are sinful yet you cannot hold your tongue…"

She finally snapped and screeched out, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

I wanted to laugh as he smiled and held out his hand, "I'm Edward Cullen, ma'am…your grandson's best friend. And I, also, know the bible like the back of my hand and 1st Peter says, 'Above _all_, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another _without _grumbling.' So, as Jasper's grandmother, your love for him should over shadow your hatred of his sin and you should at least be hospitable towards him."

The irritation on her face was priceless as she turned her nose up at his outstretched hand and crossed her arms across her chest like a bratty child, "I don't want nothin' to do with a faggot…I'm right about this, I know what the bible says and you ain't gonna convince me otherwise…"

Edward sighed, "I say to you, It is not so: but if your hearts are not changed, you will all come to the same end, Luke 13:3."

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I woulda never believed how fast that old lady jumped up out of her chair, waving the cane around that she obviously didn't need, as she stomped off screaming obscenities and orderin' my daddy to take her home and away from these sick people.

Edward's eyes went wide as he looked over at my dad, who was clearly embarrassed and mad as hell all at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Whitlock! I didn't mean to…"

Dad cut him off with a deep sigh, "Stop apologizin', son, it ain't your fault. Mama's meaner than a rattlesnake. Well, I'll be back in a while…"

After he walked off, Edward turned to my aunt Barb and started apologizing again. She sat stone silent for a moment, apparently still in shock before finally breaking out into a fit of laughter, "Ho-ly shit, son! I ain't never seen no one put mama in her place like that!"

The guilt was weighing on him as he shook his head, "No, it was disrespectful of me to do that in your home, but I swear, I honestly had no intention of making her leave…I just thought that maybe I could talk it out…"

That caused Suzie, Jeremiah, and even Caleb and Ethan to join aunt Barb in her laughter. After a moment, Barb walked over and patted Edward on the shoulder, "Oh, honey, there just ain't no talkin' with that old woman…the only person that's ever been able to shut her up was daddy and he died a long time ago. Now, don't get me wrong, I love mama…it's just that I don't like her very much. It's about time someone stood up to her…I just try and ignore her as long as possible and Wayne tells her to shut the hell up, but she don't listen. But I ain't ever seen her stomp away from an argument like that. You sure got her good. You might be my new hero."

The embarrassment of that old bitch's tirade still lingered but it was over shadowed by the pride I felt for Edward. I could feel it coming from everyone else too. He was amazing.

All my life, every battle I ever fought, was with my fists…not my words. He kept his cool and never lost control, he stayed strong and debated his argument perfectly. I needed to learn how to do that…use my words.

Carlisle put his hand on Edward's other shoulder and glowed with pride, "I'm so proud of you, son. You handled that beautifully. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, there are some people who just will never accept you and try to bring you down. You didn't let her words shake you…it's simply amazing the leaps and bounds you've grown these last few years. You've learned that some people are going to hate you for no reason at all and you're not going to be able to change that because _they _don't want to change, but the important thing is that you don't let anyone de-value who you are…"

Now he put his other hand on my shoulder and squeezed, "Because both of you are incredible people and I feel so extremely blessed to be a part of your lives."

Esme pulled Edward into a big hug and whispered in his ear, "Thank you, sweetheart, for having your dad's patience because you saved your poor mom the embarrassment of doing something very ugly to that old woman."

That's when I realized that somewhere deep down inside, Esme was a little ghetto, like me. She was the hot-headed one while Carlisle was the quiet, peace maker…kinda like me and Eddie.

Everyone just gathered around and ate some more as they talked for awhile. Emmett spoke up as he took a break from stuffing his face, "You know, Jay, with a mother like that, for your dad to accept everything the way he has, he must be trying awfully hard to change."

I nodded and Barb smiled, "Well, I ain't gonna lie, son…it's not been easy for him. We just weren't expecting it. I mean, every time Jasper used to come visit, you couldn't beat the girls off him with a stick. But me and Wayne promised each other a long time ago that we'd try and raise our kids different. We're not that old, ya know. The world we grew up in is a lot different than mama's world. And her and daddy both were just so judgmental…when I was in high school, I dated outside my race once and they kicked me out of the house. Wayne took up for me but he was 13 so weren't much he could do. Anyway, the relationship didn't last and I stayed with a friend. When I had Jeremiah, mama wouldn't even come to see him, till she knew for sure he wasn't mixed. She's a mean old lady and I'm afraid that sometimes me and Wayne act just like her…but we don't wanna be that way so even if your daddy messes up again, son, know that he's tryin' and please don't give up on him."

I realized that daddy should've probably been back at the barbecue by now, but he wasn't. I hoped he wasn't off drinkin' somewhere but I promised Barb that I wouldn't give up too easily and I'd do everything I could to try and help.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ethan and Caleb walking over to us. I just stood there and waited while they fidgeted and scratched at their hair, quite obviously nervous.

Eventually, Ethan let out a huff of air and nodded at Edward, "Hey, how ya doin'? I'm Jay's cousin, Ethan."

Caleb never said a word but Ethan introduced his self to everyone and said they'd meet up with us later tonight at the bonfire.

Jeremiah's loud ass voice rang out and broke the still lingering tension in the air, "Who wants to play corn hole?"

I heard Edward start coughing and looked up to see his face was blood red as he drank down a whole glass of lemonade.

I furrowed my brows, "You okay, dude?"

He nodded as his face seemed to even get redder.

_What the hell could he be embarrassed about?_

Jeremiah walked up and smacked Edward on the back, "I know _you _wanna play corn hole with me, huh, Ed?"

Edward's eyes got wide and it finally clicked to me what was going on.

I answered for him, "We'll play later, Cuz…but you could keep an eye on Esme for me so I can sneak out front and smoke a cigarette?"

I smiled and he rolled his eyes, "Go on, man…"

I motioned for Edward to join me as I watched Jeremiah go up to Carlisle, "You up for some corn holin', Doc?"

Esme started chuckling and Aunt Barb rolled her eyes, "Good Lord, Jeremiah…"

He started laughing and tried to look innocent, "What? It's a game! Ya'll are a bunch of perverts…"

Now, Esme started laughing hysterically as everyone joined in. Then she stood up and grabbed the bean bag from Jeremiah's hand as she dead panned, "I'll have you know that I am the corn hole queen of Chicago."

Edward looked kinda horrified as he followed me around to the front of the house.

Once we reached the front porch, I pulled out a square and lit up. I leaned against the brick wall and Edward leaned next to me.

My cheeks hurt, I was smiling so damn big, "First off, I really gotta know what kinda porn you been watchin' that makes you turn that damn red at the mention of corn hole…"

He blushed even deeper and looked down at his feet, "I don't know what you're talking about…"

I smirked, "Right…anyway, corn hole's a game where ya throw little bean bags into a hole cut out of a wooden board. There's corn hole boards set up in the back…"

His efforts to hide his school girl giggle were in vain, "Say corn hole again…"

Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help but laugh, "Corn hole…you didn't have no clue what he was talkin' about, did ya?"

He shook his head and giggled, "No, I thought he was, like, making fun of me or something…"

"Jeremiah might tease the shit out of you, but he wouldn't make fun of you…by the way, um…thanks for stickin' up for me back there," Now it was my turn to look down at my feet as the humiliation from how my grandmother acted hung thick around me.

I felt his breath against my cheek as he whispered, "It's not your fault how your grandmother behaved, Jay…and I was sticking up for _us_. Besides, I really didn't have any intention of making her so angry, I really thought I might make her see reason…I suppose it was a bit naïve on my part…"

Raising my eyes to meet his gorgeous green ones, I smiled, "I thought you were kinda brave…"

Snorting, he rolled his eyes, "There's nothing brave about standing up to an old woman, Jay…"

My lips curled up into a grin, "I think it's brave anytime you don't back down…and I think it's brave to try and change people…fightin' has always been the way I dealt with opposition and I had no idea about how to deal with that old woman. I woulda probably acted just as bad as her, runnin' my mouth, sayin' horrible things but you never did lose your temper or let her get to you. I just…you just really amaze me sometimes, Edward. I wanna learn to be like that…"

A rosy stain covered his cheeks as he flashed that crooked grin that made my knees wanna give out from underneath me, "Thanks, Jay. That was really nice what you did for Suzie, by the way. She seems sweet."

I sighed, "Yeah…I mean, she can be a total pain in the ass sometimes but…I don't know, I guess I kinda feel bad for her."

He looked at me seriously now, "Why is that, Jasper?"

I shrugged and took a draw of my cigarette, "Suzie…tries too hard to impress these assholes around here…she already had a bad reputation when I was in school and she hasn't even went there yet…"

Running my hand through my hair and pulled my thoughts together, "I worry that she's gonna get pregnant or get caught up in some bullshit that she let some guy talk her into. She obviously needs a strong man in her life and Jeremiah's gettin' ready to leave…they're real close and shit. I guess, I just worry about what's gonna happen to her when we're all gone."

Edward smiled softly, "You can keep in touch with her…you can be a positive influence on her life no matter where you are."

I nodded and sighed, "Yeah, I'm gonna keep in touch with her…"

_Fuck, I hated the tinge of guilt that was creeping up my spine…_

"Hey Jay?"

I looked up into his pretty green eyes and he whispered, "It's okay to be a little selfish…you've held the weight of the world on your shoulders for so long and I know that it's in your nature to want to take care of everyone but you have to take care of yourself first…"

I looked down and wished I had a beer, "But I don't really take care of anyone, Edward…I mean, I couldn't even take care of you when you needed me the most…it was my fault you were even in that god damn place…if I hadn't been so fuckin' stupid about James and got sent away…I broke my promise to you, Edward. I promised that I'd always be there for you and I wasn't…"

He smiled and spoke softly, "Someone very, very smart once said, 'If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember…you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think, but the most important thing is, even if we're apart…I'll always be with you.' You are a part of me, Jay…wherever I am, you're always there with me. I know this because when I needed you the most, you were hundreds of miles away, yet I still drew my strength from you. I always do."

I felt the tension begin to melt away and my skin broke out in goose bumps.

Leaning in, I whispered, "Shit, pretty boy…you keep sayin' them pretty words and I'm not gonna be held responsible for showin' the town folk somethin' I know they ain't ready to see…"

His cheeks tinted pink as he bit down on that plump bottom lip.

I focused on that lip and grunted a little while I adjusted myself. Edward laughed, "We should maybe put a little distance between us, Jay…I can't think straight when you're so close…"

He pushed away from the wall and walked to the edge of the porch, shoving his hands in his pockets and teetering on the balls of his feet.

I drew in a deep breath and stubbed out my cigarette, "So, what genius was the quote from?"

Edward was always quoting shit…I found it kinda fascinating that he was so smart…and extremely sexy.

He grinned as his cheeks tinted again, "Um…Winnie the Pooh."

I laughed and raised an eyebrow, "I didn't know Pooh Bear was so smart…"

The pink stain on his cheeks and light in his pretty green eyes captivated me as he smiled, "He's quite brilliant, actually."

We started walking back, falling naturally in step together side-by-side, and he nudged into my shoulder, "Feel any better?"

I smiled over at my beautiful, sweet boy, "Yeah, Eddie…you always make me feel better."

He smiled and nodded, "Good. So, you up for some corn holing?"

I laughed and it took everything I had not to reach out and just pull him into a hug, but I resisted, "I think I can handle that."

We joined the game. There were two boards set up so Esme and Carlisle were playing Jeremiah and Alice. Eddie and me took on Em and Rose.

Twilight was beginning to set in and I noticed that Carlisle had drunk quite a few beers. Esme was a little tipsy but I think it's safe to say that Big Daddy C was drunk as a skunk.

It had come down to him and Esme against me and Eddie in, what we dubbed as, The Corn Hole Super Bowl.

Drinking had only seemed to make Carlisle better as he sunk the last bean bag. I laughed as he threw his arms up in the air and proclaimed loudly, "I am the corn hole king!"

I nudged Edward, "Hey since your mama is queen and your daddy is king, does that make you the corn hole prince?"

He rolled his eyes and laughed, "Don't get too smug, Jay…some day you will be my corn hole princess."

I giggled, "Say corn hole again…"

He giggled back, "Corn hole."

I was in a much better mood.

After the grown ups left, we were all gonna party down at the lake, just like we'd usually do on a Friday night.

Carlisle had his arm slung around Esme's shoulder as they walked up to us. I laughed, "You doin' alright there, Doc?"

Carlisle giggled, "I feel like I'm in college again…"

Then he raised his arms again and yelled out, "Go Bull Dogs!"

Esme laughed, "Alright, dear, I think we better head back to the hotel…"

Carlisle nodded emphatically, "That is a _wonderful _idea…you're so smart and _sooooo _pretty…"

Jeremiah was standing beside us, chuckling as he nudged Edward, "Your old man is a hoot, Ed."

Edward smiled, "Yeah, he is."

Esme, Carlisle, and Peter were saying good bye and thanking everyone for their hospitality…

Dad had never came back so Em was gonna take them back to the hotel before meeting back up with us.

We walked over and Edward asked, "It's okay for Jay and I to stay the night, right?"

Carlisle nodded and did his best to stand up straight and not appear completely wasted, "Yes…yes, that would be...uh…um…umm…"

Esme smiled, "Are you okay, honey?"

Carlisle pointed at her with a huge grin, "Yes! _Okay! _I could not, for the life of me, think of that word! Yes, son, it's _okay _that you stay the night."

Then he put his hand on Edward's shoulder and raised his finger, "But no drinking. Drinking is very bad for you and it doesn't make you cool…"

I giggled, "I don't know, Carlisle, it makes _you _pretty cool."

He rolled his eyes and grinned, "I was born cool, son, the alcohol has nothing to do with it."

Then he flung his arms around both our shoulders and began walking as he whispered, "Seriously, boys, I know I'm clearly not being a very good role model right now but honestly I haven't drank beer since college and forgot how slowly it creeps up on you. But I'm of age and you are not. Please promise me that you'll be good tonight…I'm allowing you this freedom because I trust you. You know I don't want you to drink but I'm not naïve enough to think you won't try it if you're around it. If you do, please keep it to one or two drinks and do not, for any reason, drive anywhere or get in a car with someone who's been drinking. I don't care what time it is, if you need a ride, call us. I'll send your mother or call you a cab. Can I trust you boys to be safe tonight?"

We both agreed and after thanking Barb again, Carlisle, Esme, and Peter left. I stepped out on the front porch and lit a cigarette as soon as they pulled off outta distance. But the roar of Em's Jeep was soon replaced by a Lincoln Continental, bass blarin' so loud that it was vibrating shit. Some dick stuck his head out the window and yelled, "Hey Suzie! Move your ass, girl!"

_Does this mother fucker not see me sittin' here? Cuz I know this bastard ain't talkin' to my baby cousin like that…_

Suzie came running around to the front and held up a finger, "Just a minute, Billy! I'm helpin' mama with somethin'…"

He rolled his eyes, getting outta the car and leaning against it as he lit up a square. Then the bastard smirked as he looked right at me, "Damn it, Suzie, hurry your slow ass up…your homo cousin's eyeballin' me…"

_Oh hell no…_

I smirked back as I threw out my cigarette and walked up to him, I was not gonna hit him…at least, I was gonna try real hard not to, "Hey Billy, didn't your mama teach you no respect? That's my baby cousin you're talkin' to and that ain't no way to talk to a lady…"

He laughed, "Suzie ain't no lady and at least my mama didn't teach me how to suck dick like yours did…"

Suzie was just coming around the corner when she heard him. But by then, I had his arm twisted behind his back and had him bent over the hood of his car. She screamed, "You son of a bitch! How dare you talk about my family like that! Kick his ass, Jay!"

He was strugglin' to get free as I shoved him face first into his hood a few times, growling out, "You better raise your hand 'fore you speak to me, boy…"

Then Jeremiah was next to me, opening up his car door and laughin', "Go on home, son, 'fore things get real ugly…"

I shoved him into his car and slammed the door shut. He was so pissed that his face was the color of blood. He looked over at Suzie as he threw the car in reverse and squealed tires, "Bitch, we're fuckin' through but you can bet this shit ain't over!"

As he took off down the street, Suzie walked over and looked down at the ground, "I'm sorry, Jay…Billy's such a dick sometimes. But if it makes ya feel any better, we beat the hell outta Kaycee a couple weeks back…"

Laughing, I put my arm around her and gave her a hug, "I know, ya did, Suzie Q…thanks, darlin."

Jeremiah was upset though as he furrowed his brows and looked down at her, "Why the hell are you lettin' guys talk to you like that? You're damn lucky that it was Jay who got to him first cuz if I woulda grabbed the little son of a bitch, he wouldn't be drivin' away…"

Crossing her arms over her chest, she huffed, "Like you're any better, the way Candace treats you! Are you even sure that baby is yours?"

The hurt was evident on Jeremiah's face as he let out a breath and sighed, "Shit, low fuckin' blow, Suzie…I'm just gonna worry about you when I'm gone…"

Immediately, her face softened and she walked over to him, "I'm sorry, Bubby. I didn't mean it, I swear to God I wish I could learn how to control my tongue sometimes. I know you're right about the boys I date but I'm right too. It's all her fault you're leavin'…I heard the things she was sayin' to you and she was wrong! You could both get jobs and try and make this shit work but instead she talks you into joining the army so she could get _your _money and _her _freedom! Just cuz you've known her since ya'll were knee high…it don't make her a good girl, Bubby, and you wouldn't have to worry about me if you didn't leave."

I admit that I didn't know Candace all that well, but from what I had seen, the girl could fuck with his head like nobody's business.

He just turned and walked to his truck, hollerin' out, "C'mon, ya'll, let's head down to the lake…time to start drinkin'."

Knowing that he had already been drinkin', I talked him into letting me drive. I could tell that he wasn't gonna talk to me about what was going on with him and Candace but I wanted to make sure and talk to him later about it.

Everyone else followed us, it wasn't long until we were all pulling up to the lake.

It was private and completely secluded, hidden back on some property my grandpa had left to my dad for huntin' and fishin.'

After we all piled out, me, Em, and Eddie started building the fire while Jeremiah tapped the keg. He was a little bummed when I said I was gonna stay sober so I could drive us back to his house tonight but I promised Carlisle I'd be safe and I damn sure intended on keepin' my promise to him. Besides, I didn't wanna be messed up with Eddie and Alice and all my friends here cuz crazy shit always happened at these parties and I had to keep on my toes just in case they needed me.

The bright Texas sun dipped back behind the trees as the full moon rose. People started showing up and the party was in full swing by the time the last rays of daylight fell.

I was sittin' on an old fallen tree trunk, away from the fire as I watched Eddie, Em, Alice, and Jeremiah fill up their plastic cups. Edward had promised me he'd take it easy tonight on the alcohol. I didn't wanna risk him having an episode and I wanted him to stay somewhat alert himself.

Rosalie walked up over smiling as she sat down next to me and nudged my shoulder, "Hey Jay. How are you holding up?"

Stretching out my long legs, I leaned back and grinned, "Better than I thought I'd be. You aren't drinkin'?"

Her long blonde hair blew in the breeze as she sighed, "No, I'm driving Em's jeep back tonight. And anyway, I don't really like drinking around strangers…I mean, I know most of them are your family and everything but…I just…"

Nudging her shoulder with mine, I smiled, "Hey, it's alright, Rose. I get it. You don't have to explain nothin' to me, darlin'. By the way, I wanted to thank you for bein' so nice to Suzie. I think you and Alice could be a real good influence on her."

Rosalie looked down to the ground and sighed, "I know how she feels…I was _her _three years ago…I can just see it in her eyes, that look of desperation…the need to just have somebody look at you…to just notice you and you'll do anything to get that. I never thought I could be a positive influence on anyone but I'll help her the best way I can."

I smiled, "You're a positive influence on a lot of people, Rose. Alice adores you and Em thinks the sun shines outta your ass."

Laughing, she rolled her eyes, "I missed you, Jasper. I'm glad you're coming home."

I nodded as I took a drink of my Coke, "Me too."

The familiar rumble of bass filled my ears as I turned my head to see three carloads of trouble pulling up.

"Shit, is that the jerk from earlier today?"

Standing up and lookin' over at Jeremiah, who was nodding at me, I nodded back and sighed, "Yup, and a whole bunch of his little asshole friends."

By the time all ten of them punks got outta the cars, me, Jeremiah, Em, and Edward were standing there waiting. I looked over at Edward and his poor little swollen black eye and sighed, "I'm sorry, man, I'm always gettin' you into shit. I swear when we get back home, I'm not gonna fight no more."

He just shrugged and the corner of his lip turned up very slightly, "Sometimes you have to fight, Jay."

And _that_, is why my boy's perfect.

We didn't have a choice, whether we wanted to fight or not, a fight was comin'.

Now I don't know where Hollywood movies came up with the idea that people have long elaborate debates before fightin' cuz in my experience, most street brawls started with very few words.

In this case, it was, "Kill the fag."

The moment it fell from Billy's lips, chaos erupted. We started out great, Jeremiah throwin' a mean left hook to some guy's face, sendin' him to the ground…Em shoving one fucker back so hard, he stumbled and fell before turning and grabbing another fucker and shoving him head first into the door of his Lincoln Continental…Edward ducked a punch and threw in a few good shots to the mother fucker's gut, causing him to keel over as Edward continued to whoop his ass…and I had Billy's back against his car, knocking his god damn teeth down his throat.

But in fights like this, shit moves fast and the upper hand can be easily lost. A few minutes later, my back was on the ground as two of the bastards held me down while another one kicked me in my ribs.

I could see that Edward was struggling with his guy as they wrestled around, kickin' up dust. Jeremiah had two guys on him, trying to pin him to the car as they exchanged blow after blow. Emmett was on top of a guy, layin' dolo's on that boy, but then another guy was on his back with his arm around his neck.

In the midst of the anarchy, I heard Alice's little voice scream out, "Cover your eyes, Jay!"

I ripped my arms from the grip on them and rolled just in time to cover my face as Alice pepper sprayed all three of these fuckers right in the face.

I heard them scream out as I scrambled to my feet, muttering a quick, "Thanks, Ali…," before taking off for Emmett.

The guy on his back was choking him while the other one hit him. I ran up, and kicked that mother fucker square in his jaw…I swear, I heard some shit crack on that fuckin' blow.

He fell over, letting go of Em so he could breathe again. I heard another car pull up and raised my eyes just in time to see Ethan and Caleb jump out.

I figured they'd help Jeremiah so I was gonna go after Edward, who had two guys on him now.

But they surprised me, Ethan ran to Edward while Caleb went to Jeremiah. I helped Em out with his last guy and only a few minutes later, we were all standin' there lookin' down on those assholes as we smiled through bloody lips and sore bodies.

I put my hand on Edward's shoulder, needing some sort of physical contact, no matter how small, "Hey, you okay, Eddie?"

He nodded, "I'm fine, Jay. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm tired of fightin' though…I would give anything to just be in your room playin' Call of Duty right now."

I grinned at him and he laughed.

The party kept rollin' long after those pricks had pried themselves from the dirt floor and took off, spouting off bullshit as they went. I saw Ethan sittin' on the back tailgate of Jeremiah's truck so I broke away from the group and walked over to him.

"Hey, Jay, you ain't drinkin'?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm drivin'…anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for helpin' out back there…"

Shrugging, he tossed his beer back and took a long pull. Then, looking at the ground, he sighed, "I don't understand it, Cuz, I really don't…but you're family and if you need me, I got your back."

Pulling out a square and lighting up, I sighed, "Well, thanks for helpin' Edward."

A huge grin broke out on his face as he laughed, "He stood up to granny…and was holdin' his ground pretty good when we pulled up, I figure the boy deserves some respect. I mean, after all, if he's with you, he's gotta be one tough little fucker and to actually come all the way down here...bein' around us and all our fucked up shit…he must be crazy as a shit house rat. He might fit right in."

Looking over at Edward, I see him sipping his beer, as he laughs at Jeremiah. Suzie is sittin' next to Alice and Rose, while they cheer on Em in a football game he picked up with a few of the guys.

I told Ethan I'd see him later and walked back over to my friends.

Em talked us in to joining the game and I even talked Edward into playing. I needed to stop trying to protect him from everything. He was capable of takin' care of his self just fine, but if he ever needed me, I'd have his back.

I took over the QB position and made Edward the wide receiver. I knew he could catch cuz we used to throw the ball around in his back yard while I'd be teachin' him how to talk to the other kids, even when he was distracted by something else.

And Eddie was fast as greased owl shit.

Jeremiah and Emmett blocked for us and I gotta say that watchin' Edward catch the ball and smoke past everybody in his way, was pretty fuckin' hot.

When the game was over and we had won with Eddie's winning touch down, I smiled at the deep blush in his already flushed face as everyone went on and on about how fast he was. I was gonna have to try and talk him into tryin' out for the team back home. Then we'd both have uniforms that we could use when we were feelin' a little freaky…

Just sayin'…

The party was winding down and people kept leaving until just a few of us remained. Jeremiah drank the last of his beer, then crushed his plastic cup and tossed it in the trash. He threw his arm around my shoulder as he looked out over the lake, "Well, Cuz…I'm drunk…let's go swimmin'…"

And I knew what was gonna happen 'fore I even seen his white ass shinin' in the moonlight.

Skinny dippin.

Jeremiah always got drunk and went skinny dippin. He was runnin' down to the lake before grabbing his junk for safety as he did a cannonball into the water.

Looking at Edward, I see his green eyes are wide and his mouth is gaping open as he watches Jeremiah until he hit the water…then he looks at me as his whole face goes up in flames.

I laugh and nudge his shoulder, "Dude? Were you just checkin' out my cousin?"

Stammering, he runs his fingers through his hair and looks down, "Um…no…uh…let's go swimming, Jay, but I'm keeping my boxers on…"

And then he's taking off for the water, shredding his clothes as he goes until he's in nothing but dark gray boxer briefs. He launches into the water as I see Em's big naked ass run by before he jumps in.

Alice looks at Rose and shrugs before strippin' down to her bra and panties and joinin' the boys in the water. I smile over at Rose as she smirks at me, "You gettin' in, Rose?"

She rolls her eyes and laughs as her cheeks tint in the darkness, "I'm not wearing underwear."

I shrug as I pull off my shirt, "I ain't either, darlin…you can wear this, if you want. It's long enough to cover you."

She thanks me for the shirt as I strip off the rest of my clothes and she takes off hers, wearin' just my t-shirt. We take off runnin' and a minute later, we're all splashing around, and cooling off in the water.

By the time we drag our asses outta the water, Eddie's practically sleep walkin. We decide to call it a night. Rose drives back to Jeremiah's house with him, Em, and Alice while I take Jeremiah's truck.

I turn off the radio and roll down the windows, grateful for the cool night time air. Edward smiles as he slides across the seat and right next to me. I raise my arm and he cuddles into me, sighing deeply as he whispers, "I had a lot of fun tonight, Jay…I mean, apart from the fight."

I squeeze him tight as I pull down the old dirt road, "Sorry I'm always gettin' you in trouble, Eddie…"

Lifting his face, his green eyes were half lidded and sleepy as he smiled, "Don't be sorry, babe…sometimes people take your choice away and you have to fight. Because of you, I'm not afraid of that anymore. I don't back down because I'm not scared anymore…I still don't like fighting but it's nice to know that I'm not completely helpless. Thank you for teaching me how to stand up for myself, Jay…"

He cuddled back into my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair as I smiled, "Anytime, darlin…so tell me, baby boy…was I mistakin' or did you pop wood over my cousin's naked body cuz you took off runnin' like a bat outta hell…"

Giggling, I knew that his face was red even if I couldn't see it, "I didn't pop wood…and besides, have you seen your cousin? I'm sorry, Jay, but Jeremiah is…hot. Really, really hot."

I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder playfully, "That's just gross, dude…he's my blood…"

Edward just shrugged and grinned, "He's not mine…you're better anyway…I think you've got him beat by a good inch and a half…"

That caused my eyes to go wide as I looked over at him, "Oh my God, you were checkin' out my cousin's dick!"

He burst into a fit of laughter as his face went up in flames, "I'm sorry, Jay…I just couldn't help it…"

Then he snuggled back into me as his laughter died down to soft giggles, "Just because I looked, doesn't mean that I could ever want anyone else, Jay. That would be impossible…I'm all yours, babe…"

I leaned down and pressed my lips to his for just a second before smiling and whispering, "I know. Love you, baby boy."

He whispered he loved me too as he curled up and closed his eyes, sighing contently.

When we got to the house, Em and Rose took Suzie's room while she stayed the night at her friend's house, Alice and Jeremiah took the fold out couch since she made it clear that he wasn't gonna get anything other than maybe a kiss from her tonight, and me and Eddie took Jeremiah's room.

I was hopin' we'd get to fool around tonight but Edward was out like a light as soon as he hit the bed. I went out on the back porch for one last smoke and was surprised to see Jeremiah there, tokin' up.

He smiled as he handed me the joint, "Pretty boy passed out on ya, huh?"

Nodding, I took the joint, taking a few hits before passing it back, "Yeah…so what's up with you and Alice?"

Sighing deeply, he shrugged, "I don't know…I told her that I might try and work things out with Candace. Carlisle talked to me today…said he might be able to help me get a good job and an apprenticeship in a trade program…said a lot of guys owe him favors that he'd be willing to pull for me."

I couldn't help the smile that broke across my face, "Yeah? What are you thinking?"

He handed the joint back and smiled, "He said that it was just an option and that he'd have to talk to you and Edward but…I guess him and Esme both agreed that me, Candace, and the baby could stay there for a little while till we got up on our feet…I guess, Esme even volunteered to baby sit. I ain't never met people like them before, Cuz…willing to take in strangers and help them out…"

"They're good people, Jeremiah. They can help you if you let them. Maybe I can talk to Peter about Suzie comin' to stay with us. He's got an extra room in the back and it might do him some good to have people around. We'd all be together still…"

He nodded and grinned, "I'm gonna talk with Candace tomorrow…if she said yes, do you think Edward would be cool with it? I mean, we'd be like, takin' up all his space and shit…"

That made me laugh, "Just do me a favor, Cuz…if ya'll move in with the Cullen's, just stay fully clothed at all times…I don't think my poor boy's heart could take much more…"

Jeremiah raised an eyebrow and snickered, "Your boyfriend thinks I'm hot, huh?"

I shoved him in the shoulder and rolled my eyes, as he started singin' "Don't you wish your boyfriend was hot, like me?"

Laughing uncontrollably as the pot settled in, I just shook my head, "I can't believe i'm the gay one...I'm goin' to bed, Cuz…hey thanks, for everything."

He smiled, "No problem, Jay…night, Cuz."

"Night."

And I walked back down the dark hallway to where my boy was sleeping, thinkin' happy thoughts that maybe I wouldn't have to leave my family behind…maybe we could all help each other out and maybe we could all actually make it outta these fucked up lives we were born into.

Maybe.


	48. Chapter 48

**I wanna say a big thanks to all my readers. I appreciate you guys so much for sticking with me and the boys. We'll be winding down after this chapter and coming to an end…I'd say two, maybe three more. But don't fret, there will be a sequel for those of you who still haven't had enough of these boys.**

**If you guys wanna read a great story featuring Twinkward and Prisonsper, check out Philomena's, "Neighbor From Down The Hall." It's in my Favorites and it's such an awesome story with a fabulous Edward and a Jasper that you just wanna cuddle…**

**Love Should by Moby**

**Eddie's POV**

I awoke to the sound of crickets and the feel of the cool night time air. I must've dozed off for a few minutes. Opening my hazy eyes, I vaguely see the plastic blades of the fan in front of the open window…it's quiet hum is soothing. The room is dark but the soft glow from the street lamp outside shines just enough for me to take a peek around.

I figure that Jay must've went for a smoke or something since I'm all alone in Jeremiah's room. I sit up and stretch, breathing in the fresh air deeply, causing my lungs expand to their fullest before letting it all go.

I had only drank a couple beers so I actually felt pretty good…having kept my promise to my dad this time.

Pulling back the cool sheet and stepping onto the cold wood floor, I tip-toed over to the window, never being able to resist the urge to look out upon the world from the safety behind it.

I stood there, gazing out at the quiet street and rows of small houses lit up by a path of softly lit street lamps leading…somewhere. The whole world was right outside this window and it looked so…real. There were no ominous shadows or sinister voices keeping me from walking down that path. I wondered why I had been so frightened of it for so long. I mean, I may not have known where that path was leading but as long as I had a little light to lead me then it wasn't scary at all…it was freeing.

Jasper was my light.

I closed my eyes for a moment and remembered the view from my old bedroom window before it was painted over.

I could barely see the worn street below filled with children playing and houses that stretched on forever…

Opening my eyes, the longing was still tangible…the longing to just crawl through that window and down to the ground where I could play too.

But gone was the fear that kept me standing there with my palm pressed against the glass, aching for someone to save me…because now there was nothing keeping me from just crawling through that window all on my own and saving myself.

A moment later, my toes are curling in the soft, wet dew covered grass beneath them and I'm grinning like a mad man. I realize that I must look absolutely insane and that makes me grin even more because I really don't care how I look.

I feel free and powerful and no one can take that away from me anymore.

His laughter is like the angels singing, "What are you doin', Eddie?"

I turn and take in his dimpled smile and baby blue eyes, the wind blowing those golden curls across them as he leans out the window.

His smile is radiant…a light that will always guide me…encompassing me and always taking the darkness away.

I grin back, "Um…having an epiphany…and just feeling the grass between my toes. It's squishy. I like it."

If it's even possible, his smile is wider as he laughs and easily jumps through the window. We're both barefoot but still in our jeans and t-shirts but he looks gorgeous as he shoves his hands in his pockets and pulls that plump pink bottom lip between his teeth. Rocking on the balls of his feet, he looks a little shy and I kind of like seeing Jasper on his home turf because here is where he needs me.

"Hey um, babe…there's someplace I wanna take you. Will you go with me?"

Nudging into his shoulder, I roll my eyes and laugh, "Do you really have to even ask me anymore, Jay?"

A soft tint shades his cheeks as he smiles, "C'mon, it's not far from here but we need to get our shoes cuz it's untellin' what we might step on out here, darlin'..."

I pout just a little, "But babe, I really like the way the grass feels."

He jumps back through the window and sticks his head back out with a goofy grin and a shrug, "Well, I'll just get mine then since you ain't afraid of steppin' on those big ass Texas slugs…man, that shit sucks cuz you don't even know you stepped on those squishy bastards till you look down and see a little eyeball all poppin' out between your toes…"

"Okay, okay, just get my shoes…"

I was combing my little patch of grass for creepy slimy slugs as he laughed, "That's what I thought you'd say."

_Asshole_.

After pulling on our socks and shoes, we walked through the back yard and I followed his lead, easily jumping the low chain-link fence into another yard. We cut through two more yards and ended up on a sidewalk filled with more dim street lamps and small houses. It was mostly quiet out here, apart from the crickets and the occasional car off in the distance.

Talking softly as to not disturb the peaceful night, I nudged Jay's shoulder with mine, "Where are we going?"

He smiled over at me, "Patience is a virtue, Eddie."

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Well, I suppose I better hold onto the little bit of virtue I have left…"

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, "You're a god damn saint, Edward."

"No, I'm not but that's okay because I don't have to be. Someone very smart once told me that everyone was fucked up, some are just better at hiding it."

Nudging into me, he smirked, "Was it that brilliant fucker, Pooh, again?"

Smirking right back at him, I winked, "Nope…it was Superman."

Walking side by side and in step with Jasper was easy…comfortable, being with him always had been for me, but in the beginning I often had to walk behind him so that he could protect me from all the evils of the world…my super hero.

But even then, the evil attacked me from the inside where I was left defenseless…until he told me that he loved me. And he didn't just say the words, as so many people do…he showed me…he saturated me in love, filling the gaping holes from where my soul had been ripped in pieces from my body…he made me whole again…my angel.

"Hey, um, Eddie? I wanna ask you somethin' but if you don't wanna answer, it's okay…"

Stricken by the soft serious tone of his voice, I turned to look into his beautiful baby blue eyes, "I'll always answer you, Jay. What is it?"

His voice was quiet as he looked down at the cracked sidewalk below him, "I don't know the bible like you do but I know that it says some pretty bad things about, um…bein' gay…and I was just wonderin' if that ever bothered you when you were figurin' out that you liked me."

I let out a breath and smiled because this was easy to answer, "I worried that it was wrong, or really that other people would think it was wrong but that was just a minor thought in the back of my mind. _Mostly _I worried about how I was going to get you to kiss me again…and again…and again…"

He smiled a little but it didn't reach his eyes, "So all that bullshit about goin' to hell don't bother you?"

Shoving my hands in my pocket to fend off the need to touch him, I looked down at the ground as I felt my cheeks heat up, "No, it doesn't bother me at all because…I didn't flinch when you touched me. That was the first time I can ever remember being more curious about someone than being afraid. You didn't scare me…you intrigued me because your touch was comforting right away. I mean, it took my parents years to do that."

Nudging into him so he'd look over at me, I gazed into those honest blue eyes and sighed, "Hell is not being able to be touched or loved or comforted for fear of being hurt. It's the loneliness and solitude of feeling non-existent. Hell is living in a nightmare that you can't wake up from…but you woke me up…you breathed life back into me. I was hanging on by a thread when I met you, Jasper…so close to hell that I could feel the demons clawing at me as I gasped for my last breath…"

He stopped walking as his eyes looked right through me, seeing my soul laid out before him bare, as it always had been.

Leaning in just a little closer, I can see his breathing hitch as I whisper, "But you swooped in and gave me shelter beneath your wings. They were real long before the tattoo, Jay. So, no, I don't worry about going to hell because you've already saved me once…I won't make you do it again."

His eyes closed as he took a deep breath and I smiled because I knew he was fighting the urge to kiss me. For some reason, the boy just couldn't seem to resist me.

Exhaling slowly, his beautiful blue eyes opened and he smiled as he whispered, "I love you, Eddie."

"I know you do, Jay…I love you too."

Shaking his head, he laughed, "C'mon, babe, 'fore I throw you down in the middle of the sidewalk and do things to you that I'm pretty sure are illegal in the great state of Texas."

Not much further, we came to an old abandoned church. It was just a small white building, even in it's best day you could tell it wasn't fancy.

"What I wanna show you is around back…"

I followed him back behind the building to an overgrown park that had apparently been abandoned as well.

I looked over at him as he studied the worn down playground, "Did you come here as a child, Jay?"

Walking over and sitting on an old metal bench, he pulled his knees up to his chin and nodded, "Yeah."

Sitting next to him, I nudged his shoulder and smiled, "It looks like it would've been fun."

He rested his cheek on his knees and looked over at me, "Yeah, I thought so too."

Sensing the storm brewing behind those midnight eyes, I couldn't stop myself from reaching over and brushing my fingers through his honey hair as the wind blew it gently around his perfect face, "What's up, Jay?"

His eyes closed as he leaned slightly into my touch and whispered, "The first time I came here, I was seven. It was the first summer I had ever stayed with my dad and right after the first time he hit me…mama's boyfriends had been doin' a number on me already so I guess I shoulda been prepared for it but I actually thought that maybe being with my real dad would be different…I remember thinkin' that maybe he'd save me from mama…"

My heart ached with pain for him, my beautiful boy.

"He hit me cuz I wouldn't stop askin' him to go outside and play with me…he told me I needed to grow up cuz the world was tough and only little pussy boys wanted to go outside and play…so after he passed out, I started walking and ended up here. I sat just like this, right here on this bench, and I watched the other kids play…trying to convince myself that I needed to quit actin' like such a baby…that I needed to be tougher…but the whole time I was prayin' that just one kid would come and ask me to play with him…no one ever did."

Looking at him now, so vulnerable, he seemed so small…I could easily see him here at seven years old, alone and clutching like hell to his innocence as so many others fought endlessly to rip it away from him.

His eyes were glossy now as he looked into mine and bared his soul to me…just as he always had.

"I came here for weeks, just sittin' here and watching. There were these two old ladies that always sat on the far end of the bench. Here I was, seven years old, covered in bruises…dirty…practically screamin' for someone to just…fuckin' notice me…help me. One day, one of the old ladies whispered to the other one about my bruises…I remember feeling hope that maybe someone would save me…but then the other woman whispered back, 'He's just one of those Whitlock boys…you know they're no good. He was probably out torturing small animals 'fore he came here…I'm sure he just got what was comin' to him…"

The breath left my lungs as I whispered, "Those evil old bitches…"

He looked up at me and smiled as a few tears fell down his cheeks, "They _were _some evil old bitches. Anyway, the other one just turned her nose up and they went back to ignoring me. That feeling of hope was replaced with a feeling that maybe they were all right about me. Maybe I wasn't smart or sweet or…good…maybe I was the piece of shit that everyone kept tellin' me I was. I remember bein' so god damn mad that I stood up and kicked that old bitch in the ankle 'fore taking off runnin'."

We both laughed in spite of ourselves.

Even though our pasts were different, we shared very similar emotions as children. We were both made to feel like we weren't good…like we were invisible. His reaction differed from mine as he lashed out at the world that tried to ignore him…I withdrew inside my mind, away from the world that refused and frightened me.

Yet, here we were…

The few tears were receding as he smiled at me, beautiful dimples and flushed cheeks, "That all started changin' when I met you, Eddie…after you told me your story, I felt hope again cuz here you were, this scrawny little kid, sweet and innocent and so fuckin' good, despite what happened to you…I felt like if you were strong enough to go through all that fucked up shit and still be so damn good, that maybe I could be good too. What I'm tryin' to say is that you're my angel too, baby boy…my Superman…I just wanted you to know that."

It's moments like this that I feel like my heart might burst…

And I want to kiss him…to touch him…to just _anything _him…

So I stand and hold out my hand, smiling my crooked smile that makes his dimpled one appear, I ask, "Would you like to play with me, Jay?"

Smirking, he raises an eyebrow and drawls out, "Which part do I get to play with?"

I just roll my eyes at his cheesiness, "Come on, Jay…let's regress back to our childhood…we can play, um…tag and if you win, you can pick out the next game…"

He just shook his head and laughed, "Seriously, man, we're too old to play tag…"

I scoffed, "Someone once told me that we're teenagers and we do dumb shit…that it was kind of our thing…"

Giggling now he smiled, "I did say that huh?"

"Yep…when you convinced me to go skinny dipping with you at Peter's lake. Besides, if you can catch me, maybe I'll give you a blow job in that fort up there…"

I pointed to the rocket shaped fort that housed three different slides…it was almost completely enclosed.

But he was already off the bench and coming for me as he laughed, "You better run, Eddie."

I jumped and took off running, smiling at him as I looked behind me, "You better run faster, Jay."

Then I ran through the playground and jumped on one of the slides, quickly climbing up it and into the fort. I was quite a bit faster than him so I turned around and waited, taunting him, "You really should consider quitting smoking, babe…it's making you slow."

He started up the slide after me, laughing, "So now you're gonna be all cocky and shit, huh?"

I jumped from the tower to the ground below, laughing as I took off again.

My poor boy chased me around the playground as I jumped and climbed and teased him. I surprised myself at how athletic I was becoming.

Eventually, Jay doubled over, putting his hands on his knees as he panted, "Holy shit, you're a fast little fucker…"

I came to a stop and strode back over to him in victory, "Since I won, I get to choose the next thing we do."

He looked up at me and smirked, "I vote for blow jobs in the fort."

I laughed and sat down on the swing, "You don't get a vote…let's swing."

With an over exaggerated sigh but a sweet smile, he sat on the swing next to me, "Alright, Eddie."

And we swung on the swing set, jumping off at our highest point of elevation which I didn't really understand why anyone would do that but Jay assured me that's what kids do.

We landed on the grass with a thud, laughing like idiots.

Next was the monkey bars. As we hung upside down by our knees, all of the blood was rushing to my head but the beautiful dimpled grin on his red face more than made up for it.

"I wish we woulda known each other when we were little, Eddie. We woulda had a lot of fun together."

I smiled back at him, his face picture perfect against the world turned upside down all around him, "Yeah, we would've."

His hand reached out as calloused fingers brushed across my cheek and he whispered, "There's somethin' I always wanted to try…"

The honey of his breath pulled me in as my eyes fluttered close and our lips met. The kiss was soft, sweet…his tongue, gentle as it glides against mine, drawing me in closer as my fingers wrap themselves in golden curls that fell away from the nape of his neck.

When he has kissed me senseless, the world no longer seemed upside down at all because when my eyes opened…all I could see was him.

His cheeks were scarlet as he laughed, "I've wanted to do an upside down kiss ever since I saw it on Spiderman."

_Oh my god, he's such a dork…_

Now I couldn't help but laugh and tell him just that.

He responded with a shrug, "He's my favorite superhero. When I was growin' up on granny's farm, I got bit by spiders all the damn time…every time it happened, I'd put on my Spiderman pajamas and start jumpin' off my bed and shit, tryin' to see if I was gettin' any super powers…"

Picturing a little blue eyed boy with bouncy honey curls and deep dimples, I smiled, "I bet you were adorable."

He laughed, "Yeah…some things never change."

I rolled my eyes again and chuckled, "You're so damn cocky."

Smirking, he shrugged, "Yeah but you know you love it."

I really did.

Pulling himself upright on the monkey bars, he smiled, "C'mon, Eddie…it's time for blow jobs in the fort..."

"You're just not going to let that go, are you, Jay?"

"Nope," he answered with a laugh.

Mimicking his actions, I pulled myself up and followed him up the ladder into the small metal rocket ship.

We couldn't stand fully upright in it, so we sat Indian style on the floor, facing each other. It was really dark, only a sliver of moonlight through the small openings to the slides, and it was really humid.

Though I could barely see him, I could hear his laughter ring out, "Maybe this ain't the best place for blow jobs…it's hotter than a two dollar pistol at a swap meet."

I laughed at his cute southern sayings. I had always loved the way he spoke.

I felt his legs against mine and then he was sliding closer until I could finally see the baby blue in his eyes.

His arms went around my neck as mine went around his waist, pulling him closer still. No longer concerned about the heat because we were used to the fire every time we touched. I could see the pink in his lips as he smiled, "You remember back when I told you that I liked kissin' you?"

Licking my lips in anticipation, I smiled at the memory and nodded.

And then his lips were on mine as he mumbled, "I still really like kissin' you…"

I loved kissing him. I remembered how we used to just lie in bed at night and kiss for hours…I could die a happy boy with just one kiss from him because with Jasper, a kiss was never really just a kiss.

When he kissed me, it was like we were speaking a language that no one else knew…we poured everything into it that we could never put into words, but didn't really ever need to because we understood each other perfectly, no words needed.

I may be young and naïve, but I am not naïve enough to think that what Jasper and I have is normal. We far exceed normal boundaries when it comes to the connection we share…the love and devotion…need and desire…faith and trust…

Soul mates.

Before I met him, I would've never had believed such a notion but there was no other explanation. We were two halves of a whole and I thanked God for making me whole again.

And I truly believed that as bad as the beginning of our lives may have been…we would truly make up for it with blinding happiness by the end.

We kissed until we were sticky and sweaty, panting through swollen lips as slippery fingertips dug into damp hair.

Eventually, he pulled away, breathing ragged and voice rough as he whispers, "We better get headin' back…"

I nod through my own shallow breaths as we begin to untangle our bodies. He kisses me softly, one more time and tells me he loves me…and I know that he does.

On the way back to Jeremiah's house, the brisk air feels so good on my overheated skin. He pulls out a cigarette and lights it up, blowing a puff of white smoke into the dark night time sky.

He told me that Jeremiah might be staying with us in Forks and I was ecstatic. I mean, it might be a little weird at first but Candace couldn't be _that _bad if Jeremiah loved her…and it would be wonderful for Jay to have him there…and we wouldn't have to worry about something happening to him in the army…_and _we'd get to see his baby all the time.

I didn't like kids much, but I loved babies.

I hoped Candace agreed because I could see so many potential good things coming from this. No doubt, Jeremiah had grown up his entire life with the whole "Whitlock boys" stigma over his head…I would love to see what kind of greatness he was capable of because there was no doubt in my mind, that he and Jasper were fully capable of proving all those narrow minded people wrong.

After we snuck back in through the window, we decided that we should take showers before sleeping in Jeremiah's bed, seeming we were covered in dirt and grass.

The house was quiet as I crept behind Jay down the hallway to the bathroom. I could barely hear the TV in the living room playing quietly as Jeremiah and Alice's hushed voices broke through.

They were still awake and having a conversation, but I couldn't hear well enough to know what was being said. I hoped she took it well that he was going to try and work things out with Candace. I know I might be heartbroken if I thought I had a chance at him and then it didn't work out…though, knowing Alice like I do, she would be gracious about it and happy that he was trying to fix his family.

She was one of the least selfish and most understanding people I had ever known…always putting other's happiness before her own. She was magnificent and I hoped that she found someone worthy of her one day.

I followed him into the small bathroom as he turned on the light and closed the door behind us. We placed the clothes Jay grabbed from "his drawer of shit" in Jeremiah's room, on the counter and he started the water.

I was a little apprehensive about taking a shower so late and _with _Jasper but he assured me that Barb slept with ear plugs because of the trains that would keep her up all night, so she wouldn't hear...and Jeremiah wouldn't chance walking in on us in the shower together so we were safe as long as we kept it fast.

We quickly showered, only stealing a few lingering kisses as we stood under the water and rinsed.

But once we got in the bedroom, I was aching with pent up need for my angel boy.

It wasn't long until we were snuggled underneath nothing but a sheet on Jeremiah's bed. We were both in sweats but I had a t-shirt on too. I lied on top of him, my knees between his legs, spreading him wide open for me. His fingers trailing fire up my back as they pushed my shirt slowly up, exposing the heated skin to the cool breeze of the fan still perched in front of the window.

I removed my lips from his, just long enough for him to yank my shirt over my head and toss it somewhere. Now our bare chests slide along each other while I grind my cock against his, the fabric of the sweats doing nothing but making each stroke hotter than the one before it.

My fingers yank the clingy fabric down his hips, exposing his beautiful hard cock to me, standing long and dripping with need as it lays thick against his toned, tanned stomach. His lidded baby blues are on mine as I lift up, eagerly pulling down my own sweat pants, my cock bouncing lightly against my stomach as I rip the material down my legs and toss them.

His fingers dig into my hips as he yanks me back down on top of him, crashing his mouth to mine. We both are moaning into the kiss as our bodies move against each other, sticky and sweaty and so hard…

Breaking the kiss, he reaches for his "drawer of shit" and pulls out a bottle of lube and some condoms, lying them next to my knee.

My eyes narrow and I can't help the surge of jealousy I feel, "Why the hell do you have condoms?"

He rolls his eyes and smiles lazily, "Relax, caveman…Jeremiah doesn't want jizz all over his sheets so he gave them to me this mornin'…"

Then the thought that Jeremiah knew we were going to be having sex in his bed, made me blush, "Oh, um…sorry."

He smiled as he stroked his gorgeous cock languidly, "Don't be sorry, baby…defend your cock."

I laughed and began trailing kisses down his stomach, sliding my body down his legs. Placing a kiss on the wet tip, I whispered, "Mine."

His head fell back against the pillow as I licked the slit and sucked on the head, "Yours."

Finally giving him what he had been asking for all night, I drew his cock deep down my throat, swallowing and licking as much as I could. His hands fisted the sheets as he bucked up into my mouth, groaning and cursing with each thrust. But I knew exactly what Jasper liked…slow, wet, messy head.

He liked the sounds of slurping and moaning around his cock. So, looking up at him, I let the spit trail from my tongue to his cock, making a big show of it as I slurped up the wetness around his head.

He was thrashing beneath me as I teased him, begging for more. I loved it when he begged.

Taking him deep down my throat again and twisting my mouth around his hard shaft on the way back up, I grabbed the lube and got my fingers wet.

Letting his cock pop out of my mouth, I licked my way down to his balls. Slurping and sucking and licking while he moaned wantonly into the night. I began working my fingers inside of him, preparing him for me because I was fucking him tonight.

By the way he tugged at his cock and pushed down against my fingers, I knew he was ready for me.

Lifting myself up to my knees, I grabbed a condom and remembered back to the Vanquish. He smiled, already looking blissed out, "You remember how to put it on?"

Feeling a little cocky, I smirked as I tore it open and rolled it down my cock. Pushing his knees further apart with my own, I positioned myself at his entrance and smiled, "I could never forget anything you taught me, baby."

He wrapped his arms around my neck and pushed his feet into the mattress, "Fuckin' need you, Eddie…"

Pushing into him, he moaned loudly and I panted out, "You've got me, Jay…I'm all yours…"

I tried to go slow so I wouldn't hurt him, but he was having none of that. He pushed against me and I slid all the way in as his sweaty fingers skidded across my shoulders, trying desperately to pull me even closer.

Taking his lips to mine again, I pulled out almost all the way and slammed back into him, causing the bed to squeak loudly and the headboard to hit the wall.

I broke the kiss and laughed, "Shit! This bed is too loud…"

He smiled and shook his head, "Fuck it…fuck me, baby…Barb ain't gonna hear you…you know Em and Rose are fuckin'…and I've heard Jeremiah fuckin' so many times that he fuckin' owes me this shit…"

And he felt so damn hot and tight around me that I found myself nodding before taking his lips to mine and murmuring, "Fuck it…"

I just began drilling him hard and fast as he held on tight, moaning loudly and trying to hang on for dear life.

He was moaning in my ear, all sorts of dirty things as he begged me to fuck him harder and faster.

Afraid that the headboard would dent the wall, I pulled out and stood up. Grabbing the pillows and throwing them on the floor, I whispered breathlessly, "Get on your hands and knees…"

With a sexy smile, he got down on the floor, putting his knees on the pillow and sticking his ass out for me. He looked at me over his shoulder as I dropped to my knees behind him. Running that metal stud over his bottom lip, he whispered, "Take the condom off…"

I pulled it off quickly and tossed it in the trash before reaching up on the bed and grabbing the lube. I watched the black ink on his back and a mop of blonde curls as I stroked myself a few times, getting me good and wet so I could slide back into him.

With one hand gripping his hip, I positioned myself again and pushed into him. Feeling his bare body around mine, I couldn't stop myself from grabbing on tight and fucking him hard.

He was stroking himself as he met my thrusts with his own, both of us making more noise than the headboard ever did.

My body was aching for release as I pushed the damp hair from my eyes, I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Not wanting to cum without looking in his eyes, I pulled out and rasped, "Turn over, Jay…"

He turned over on his back and I grabbed his thighs, pulling him closer. He reached down and grabbed my dick this time, easily guiding it into him as I leaned over and took his lips to mine. I reached between us and jacked him off while I started drilling his sweet spot.

Within moments, he was cumming hot and thick between us…a few more pumps and I was done as well, my whole body shuddering with pleasure as I came deep inside my angel boy.

He looked up at me through dark blue lidded eyes and damp honey curls, a soft smile on his face as he whispered, "I love you, Eddie…"

Pushing the curls from his eyes, I kissed him softly one more time, "Love you too, Jay."

Fighting the urge to just sleep on the floor, I finally pulled out and Jay grabbed a washcloth to clean us up. We dressed quickly and soon we were snuggled up together again in bed.

The fan felt so good, cooling down our skin as we slept tangled in one another, despite the heat.

I awoke to the smell of marijuana and Jeremiah sitting on the floor by the side of the bed with a bong. Then as my eyes opened further, I saw Emmett too.

"Wake n bake, ya sleepy mother fuckers! It's a beautiful day and ya'll are wastin' it in bed!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes and giggle at his enthusiasm…Jasper, on the other hand, was not a morning person.

Grumbling beside me, he groaned, "Just five more minutes, Cuz…"

Jeremiah blew out a long puff of white smoke and choked out, "Is he always so damn grumpy in the mornin'?"

Before I could even stop myself, I smiled, "I could wake him up in a wonderful mood but that would require you and Emmett leaving."

Jeremiah started choking even harder. Emmett starting laughing hysterically and the bed started shaking as I heard Jasper break out into a fit of laughter.

I tried to contain my giggling but I could feel my whole face light up in flames…but it really was funny.

Finally, Jeremiah held out his fist for me and laughed, "Pretty boy's a dirty minded mother fucker…welcome to the family, although by the way that headboard was hittin' the wall last night, I woulda thought he'd already be in a damn good mood."

I bumped his fist as Jay sat up, grinning from ear to ear as his rough voice drawled out, "I'm in a great mood, mother fucker."

I loved watching Jasper first thing in the morning. His baby blues eyes barely opened, honey curls in complete disarray covering those lidded eyes, and he always scratched his belly. It reminded me of Peter and I couldn't help but laugh every time he did it.

Emmett hit the bong now as I asked, "Where are the girls?"

Jeremiah smiled with stoned red eyes, "They're gettin' ready to go pick up your mama. They're gonna be gone awhile, man, shoppin' and all that shit."

Emmett choked out and handed the bong to Jay. I was surprised when he shook his head and reached for his cigarettes instead, "No thanks, man…I gotta go check on my daddy today…"

I love it when he says 'Daddy…'

I turned down the bong as well remembering that I needed to call my dad and let him know everything was okay.

We got out of bed and I started walking out to the back porch so I could have some quiet to call my dad. I passed by, what I assumed was Suzie's room and heard Rosalie call out for me.

Poking my head in the door, I smiled as I saw her styling Suzie's hair. Suzie had also borrowed one of her little sun dresses and I had to admit, she looked great.

Rose smiled, "We need a man's opinion…how do you think Suzie looks?"

Her make up was toned down a lot and her hair looked really soft without all the hairspray.

"Wow…you look really beautiful, Suzie. Of course, I thought you were beautiful the first time I saw you but not hidden behind make up you don't really need, you're quite breathtaking."

It surprised me when she jumped up and threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly and whispering, "You're just about the sweetest thing I ever seen…I can see why Jay loves you so much."

I hugged her back and it was a little awkward but also kind of nice.

One thing I noticed is that the Whitlock's were touchy feely people, always hugging or throwing their arm around people…they held a lot of love in them, even if they didn't fully realize it.

I excused myself and finally stepped onto the back porch, pulling out my phone and calling my dad.

"Good morning, son."

"Good morning, dad. I just wanted to check in with you…let you know we're all okay."

I could practically hear him smile through the phone, "Thank you for calling, Edward. Did you have a good time last night?"

Feeling the blush in my cheeks, I couldn't stop grinning, "Yes…it was very different than what I'm used to but I had a really good time."

"Good. Did you two drink?"

Resisting the urge to lie, I swallowed thickly, "Um…yes but I limited it to two just like you said. And Jasper didn't drink so he could drive me home."

He sighed, "Really? Good boys. Thank you for listening to me."

A twinge of guilt nipped at me, "Dad? Um…I'm sorry for making you worry so much."

The familiar chuckle made me smile, my dad was always laughing…always happy…it was a testament to his strength how he could always smile, and make everyone around him smile too.

"You don't have to apologize for being a normal kid, son. And for the record, I don't worry about you so much anymore. You've proven to me that you're capable of handling yourself well. Just please don't forget that I'm a little older and have been around the block already a time or two…now, what about Emmett, Rose, and Alice? Did they drink responsibly?"

Sitting down on the plastic lawn chair and feeling the sun on my face, I smiled, "Yeah, Rosalie didn't drink so she could drive them back."

"Very good. You know you have some incredible friends, son."

I nodded, "I know."

"You know those kids came over to the house almost every day over the summer, checking in with us…making sure we were okay and letting us know when they spoke to you. They spent a lot of time with Peter as well. Bella, Angela, and Jacob stopped by a few times. And Brady and Tommy were over all the time…you know, most people go their whole lives without knowing such good friendship. You were never invisible, son…you were just afraid to let your light shine, but now…you couldn't stop it if you tried."

I smiled, "I'm very lucky to have so many good people in my life but you and mom were the first. If you hadn't wanted me in the beginning, I wouldn't have anyone, so thank you."

"You're welcome, son. So, what are you planning for today?"

"Um…not sure yet but Jay wants to check on his dad…"

I could hear his deep sigh, "I figured as much. Hold him off for about an hour and let me get over there first. If his father relapsed, I don't want any of you near him, especially Jasper. I'll text you and let you know if it's safe to go over there, okay?"

"Okay, be careful. Are you sure you don't want us to meet you there? I mean, he's kind of big, dad."

I could hear him scoff, "I'll have you know I held the title in my division in the Golden Gloves boxing league while I was in college."

"Really?"

My dad was definitely a lover, not a fighter.

Then he laughed, "No, not really. Don't worry about me, son, I can handle myself. Just don't let him leave until I text you."

"Okay, I won't. Love you, dad."

"Love you too, son."

I slid my phone back into my pocket and opened the back screen door in the kitchen, just in time to see Jeremiah take off running out the front door mumbling, "Oh shit…"

Then there was yelling.

"Who the fuck are those dirty bitches? I know they ain't Suzie's friends!"

And that must be Candace.

Jay and Emmett were right behind me as I made it out the front door. Rosalie was backed against Em's Jeep as Jeremiah stood between her and a very short girl with her curly brown hair pulled into a ponytail. She was also very pregnant.

She seemed to be giving Jeremiah a pretty good fight as she struggled against him, "Let me go, you cheatin' bastard!"

"Girl, calm the fuck down! You're damn near six months pregnant for Christ sake! Quit fightin' me!"

Jeremiah finally got his arms wrapped around her from behind, holding them down as she struggled.

Jay ran past me and went over to her, "Damn, Candace, they're my friends. Now, you need to seriously calm down 'fore you hurt that baby. Don't make Jeremiah have to hold you down cuz I know you got better sense than to start fightin' when you're six months pregnant. All you're doin' is riling that baby up and you're gonna make it meaner than a rattlesnake if ya don't calm that shit down."

My beautiful boy sure did have a way with words.

She closed her eyes and started taking deep breaths. Jeremiah was whispering in her ear…I couldn't hear everything he said but eventually she seemed calmer.

Opening her brown eyes, she looked at Jasper and raised an eyebrow, "They're _your _friends?"

Jay nodded, "Yeah, this is Emmett and his _girlfriend_, Rosalie…that's Alice and this is Edward."

She still seemed suspicious, "So, is Alice, Edward's girlfriend?"

Looking a little nervous, Jay shook his head.

But then she smiled and nodded at me, "Is he your boyfriend?"

Looking even more nervous, Jay nodded.

Then trying to wriggle out of Jeremiah's arms, she giggled, "Let me go, I'm fine now."

Jeremiah didn't looked convinced and I must admit, I was a little leery myself.

But he did, very slowly remove his arms from around her. When she smiled, she was very pretty. "Wow, Jay…he's smokin' hot. Way to go."

Nodding a quick thanks, Jay still looked nervous and I couldn't understand why because she seemed to be okay now.

She turned to Alice and started walking over to her. She held out her hand and smiled, "Hi, I'm Candace."

Letting out a breath she had been holding, Alice took her hand and smiled, "I'm Alice. It's nice to meet you, Candace."

But Candace seemed to be staring down at Alice's hand as she held it for a moment. Then her eyes narrowed and raised up to Jeremiah's as she yelled, "Oh my god! She's got a French manicure! I know how much you love that shit! You fucked this whore didn't you! I know you did, she's your exact fuckin' type!"

Alice's mouth dropped open and Jeremiah jumped in between them, "Really it ain't none of your business who I fuck since you broke up with me! You do recall that, don't ya, baby girl? When _you _broke up with _me_! And you really should be glad that Alice _ain't _a whore cuz it sure as fuck wasn't me that stopped us…"

Everyone cringed as her jaw dropped.

Emmett leaned over to me and whispered, "Man, that's gotta be the dumbest thing _ever _to say to your baby's mama…"

I agreed…I was gay and even I knew better than to say something like that to a hormonal pregnant woman.

She drew back her fist…she wasn't going to smack him, she was getting ready to knock his head off.

"You son of a…"

He caught her fist and, once again, held her arms down as his arms wrapped around her, "I've told you, Candy…quit tryin' to hit me like a god damn man cuz you ain't one…I would never hit you but you pull that shit with the wrong guy and he's gonna hurt you. What I wanna know is why the hell you showin' up here now when I've been callin' you for two mother fuckin' weeks? Why now?"

She huffed and stomped her feet trying to get free…she was very feisty…and a little scary.

"I just wanted to see is all!"

Jeremiah rolled his eyes and let her go. She spun around and glared at him as he crossed his arms, all traces of humor gone from his face, "Bullshit, Candace. Tell me the truth cuz I've been beggin' you for weeks to talk to me, to let me take you to your doctor's appointments…so I wanna know why you're here now."

Finally, she threw her arms up and screamed, "Billy told me you were all holed up with some prissy ass city girl! You ain't s'posed to find nobody else! You're leavin' in two days!"

"So, you don't want me but you don't want no one else to want me either. As a matter of fact, I'm not leavin'. I'm not goin' to boot camp…I don't wanna miss the first four years of my baby's life…"

Now she rolled her eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm, "How the hell you plannin' on supportin' this baby? You gonna go crawlin' back to your old job? You think we're gonna raise this baby on 8 bucks an hour? God knows you ain't a genius but even you're smart enough to know it ain't enough!"

That caused Suzie to snap, "Bitch, who you callin' dumb? The smartest thang ever came out your mouth was my brother's dick! Say somethin' mean to him again and I swear to God, after that baby comes out, I'm whoopin' your mother fuckin' ass…"

Jay stepped between them now as Jeremiah sat down on the porch behind him, looking so defeated that I had a feeling Suzie may have been right about her. Suzie and Candace were arguing with my poor baby stuck in the middle.

Then I heard Alice's small voice speak up, "He stayed up all night talking about you…how you met when you were seven years old and started dating in the seventh grade…he talked about how crazy it makes him when you push him away…he wants to be with you and be a family…money isn't everything…"

Candace laughed and rolled her eyes, "That's easy for a rich bitch like you to say…some of us ain't so lucky to be born with a silver spoon up our ass…"

That couldn't be further from the truth, Alice's money had not come easy.

Jay started to say something but Alice's voice broke through, much stronger this time as she walked over to Candace, "Actually, my parents were just stoners, old school hippie types, they owned a little diner…I remember that music was always playing…they were always dancing and laughing…but when I was ten my dad got sick…he went in for a minor surgery but someone messed up…they gave him a drug that he was severely allergic to and he never woke up. My mom got a huge settlement and I got yearly installments. After that, my mom decided to go back to school to take her mind off of my dad. I started seeing her less and less. Then she started her own clothing business and now she spends 80% of the time out of the country. I haven't even seen her in over four months so when I tell you that family and love are more important than money, trust me, I know what I'm talking about because no matter how much I buy or spend…I lost two people I love and I would give everything I own to get them back."

Jeremiah's mouth hung open and I guessed that Alice hadn't told him of her past. I doubted her mother even knew she was in Texas right now.

Then Alice smiled, "So, if _you're _smart, you'll be a little nicer to him because if you don't want him, I'll gladly take him off your hands."

She winked at Jeremiah while Jay held Candace back and then she turned to the Jeep, "Come on, ladies…we've got shopping to do."

Rosalie gave Em a quick kiss and Suzie smiled smugly at Candace before they both followed Alice and hopped in the Jeep.

Once they were gone, Jay let go of Candace and she just stood there a minute with her eyes closed, taking deep breaths.

Eventually she opened them and looked over at him, actually appearing to be remorseful, "I'm sorry, Jeremiah…it's just…I worry about money cuz I remember what it felt like to get that phone call at 3 o'clock in the mornin' from the jailhouse…I remember what it felt like sittin' in that courtroom when you were facin' five years for stealin' cars…you just got off probation…I just worry that if you don't go to the army, then you're gonna end up in prison, just like Brandon…"

He sighed as he looked up at her, "That ain't gonna happen…and I ain't goin' to the army…that's what _you _wanted, not me…so I just need to know two things, darlin…do you love me and do you wanna try and work shit out between us?"

She spoke quietly, "You know I do, it's just that…"

Interrupting her he shook his head, "We've given my neighbors a good enough show already…let's go inside cuz we gotta whole lotta shit to talk about…"

Jeremiah told us he'd back in awhile and they went inside to talk. Jay let out a breath, pulled out a cigarette and mumbled, "Holy shit…it's like the god damn Jerry Springer show…"

I sat down next to him as he sat on the edge of the porch, "What's the Jerry Springer show?"

That caused him to laugh softly and just shake his head, "It ain't nothin' you need to worry 'bout, babe."

Just then, my phone chimed and I pulled it out to see a text from my dad saying it was okay to go now.

"Who's that?"

I shoved my phone back in my pocket and smiled, "It's just my dad. He went over to check on your dad today and was letting me know that everything's okay."

Jay smiled, "Carlisle went over there to check on my dad?"

Nodding, I looked over into his pretty blue eyes, "Yeah. He wanted to make sure it was safe for you to go."

Now Em smiled as he sat on the other side of Jay, "Your mom and dad are pretty amazing, Edward. It's just like…they care about us…all of us and they don't even really have to. I was having a lot of problems with my dad over the summer and Carlisle always let me rant about it…and your mom spent a lot of time with Alice and Rose too. We even got Brady to go fishing with us, me, Peter and your dad. It was fucking hilarious watching him try and bait the hook!"

That caused me and Jay to both laugh out loud because I could just picture Brady trying to bait his hook without having to actually touch the bait.

Jay turned his head and looked at Em, "What's goin' on with your dad, man?"

Em just shrugged, "Same old bullshit, man. I've got one year of school left and he's been pushing me so fucking hard about football and college. I told him I was gonna go wherever Rose went and he flipped out…he said that it's okay for me to date Rosalie for now 'cause she's pretty and rich and a cheerleader…but that he doesn't want me to be so serious with her…that she's not good for my future. He thinks that I need to concentrate on football more because he has dreams of me playing on a national level someday. Let's just forget, for a moment, that the chance of being drafted in the NFL and actually succeeding at it are like one in a million…but that's not even what I wanna do…I love football, being part of a team and shit but it's just a game, something I do for fun. I have no fucking clue what I wanna do after high school but whatever it is, Rose is gonna be there."

Jay socked him in the arm and laughed, "Fuck your dad, dude…it's your life…live it how you wanna live it."

Laughing, Em socked him back, "Dude? You gonna let me live with you when I get kicked out?"

I couldn't help but chime in, "You could always stay at my house, Em…you know my mom and dad would love to have you there."

He smiled big enough for me to see the dimple in his cheek, "Yeah, your dad already told me I'd always have a room at his house…they told Alice and Rose the same thing…hell, I think they'd adopt us all if that's what we wanted."

Looking down at the grass, I shrugged, "They wanted a bigger family with lots of kids but I have so many problems that they had to focus all of their attention on me. Now that I'm able to function on my own a little better, they can spread themselves around more. I can tell how happy it makes them to just be around all of you…I can see it my mom's eyes and hear it in my dad's voice. All of you are family and that's all they ever wanted."

Jay nudged me and smiled, "You're the reason we all started comin' around…you gave them the family they always wanted so don't feel bad about takin' up all their time when you were little…"

That made me feel better because my parents wanted a house full of kids and now they seemed to always have it…because of my friends…but I would never forget that Jasper had been my lifeline, anchoring me so that I could reach out to other people and make wonderful friends who have become part of my family.

We could hear yelling again coming from inside the house and Jay jumped up, "Shit, they're gonna be at it for awhile, let's go on over to my dad's house and check in…"

He popped his head in the door and yelled, "Goin' to my dad's, be back in a little while!"

Then he shut the screen door behind him and we started walking.

I noticed that most everybody seemed to know who Jay was because they would say 'hey' to him as we passed. He'd just do a little head nod and keep on his way.

Once we got to Wayne's house, I noticed that my father's car was still parked out front. We climbed the porch and Jay opened the screen door as we followed in behind him. It looked different than the last time I had seen it, when Jay and I were leaving. The living room was actually pretty clean and there was a new coffee table. I also saw some pictures hanging on the wall now.

We could see the kitchen from the living room and my dad and Peter were sitting at a small kitchen table drinking coffee. Wayne was standing at the sink, pouring himself a cup and he smiled over at us, "Ya'll want some coffee?"

Jay was taking in the overall improvement of the house as well as he looked around slowly, "Um…yeah, black, please."

Me and Em said no thank you, so Wayne pulled down another mug and poured Jay a cup of coffee.

I watched as Jasper cautiously took the cup, raising an eyebrow to his dad, "You okay, dad?"

Wayne sighed as he stirred the sugar in his mug, "Yeah, I'm alright, son…after I dropped your granny off, I wanted a drink bad…I ended up at the bar but the bartender's a good buddy of mine…he wouldn't give me nothin' stronger than a Pepsi. I ended up callin' Dave, he's my sponsor and I went to one of them meetin's…"

Jasper's face lit up, "You mean an AA meeting?"

Wayne nodded as he looked down at his coffee, "Yeah, I've been goin' for a couple weeks now…it was late by the time I left so…sorry I didn't come back…"

Jay shrugged as he took a sip of his coffee, "You gotta take care of yourself, dad…you did the right thing."

My dad spoke up, "So, your dad was telling us about a great place to go fishing…you know we're leaving tomorrow so maybe we could all go out today, unless you have other plans?"

Jasper smiled, "We can go fishin' but I gotta go back for Jeremiah."

We all sat around the kitchen and talked a little while. Wayne told Jasper that he had put in for a new route at work that would take him through Seattle once every two weeks, he was a truck driver. I could tell that Jasper was really surprised when his dad suggested they meet for dinner on the days he passed through.

We talked a little about Jeremiah and Wayne was hoping he'd come back with us because he thought he'd have a better chance at making it if he wasn't stuck here. Then Jasper talked about Suzie and the problems she was having here. Peter said that he wouldn't mind if she stayed with them as well, but me and Jay would have to fix up the back room for her. Of course, we agreed. Wayne said he'd talk to her mom but he had a feeling that she'd agree to it as long as Suzie came home for visits often.

Eventually, we decided to get ready for our guys day out. Dad and Peter went back to the hotel to get a few things, saying they'd pick up lunch for us to take to the lake but that we should go ahead and eat breakfast before we met them back at Wayne's in an hour.

Walking back into Jeremiah's house, I was met with a wonderful smell…biscuits and gravy. Candace was gone and Jeremiah was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Jay smiled and nudged me, "He's a damn good cook…"

I smiled, "It smells incredible…"

We walked into the kitchen and Jeremiah stirring the gravy, "Hey ya'll…it'll be done in about twenty minutes…"

Jay went out back to smoke a cigarette and Em went to take a shower, leaving me alone with Jeremiah.

I leaned against the counter across from him and smiled, "Um…need any help?"

He turned around laughing, "Fuck yeah, I need all the help I can get, pretty boy."

Crossing his arms across his chest, he sighed and his smile was gone, "She don't know what she wants…she says she's scared of rushin' things but maybe we shoulda thought about that 'fore she got pregnant…half the time she acts like she don't even want the baby…she said she'd try if I stayed here but she ain't goin' to Washington…I'm gonna stick around here and try to make things work but…I think I may be raisin' my son by myself…"

I couldn't help but smile at the mention of 'son', "So, you know you're having a boy then?"

That brought his smile back, "Yeah, she went to the doctor last week. Holy shit, man…I'm gonna have a son."

I nudged him and gave him a crooked smile, "Congratulations, Jeremiah…I really hope that things work out between you and Candace if she makes you happy but even if they don't, you won't have to raise your son all by yourself…you've got friends and family that are willing to help…"

He gave me a half hearted smile as he turned around and put the biscuits in the oven. I tried really hard not to look at his ass as he bent over but God help me, I'm only human and he had a fantastic ass.

Besides, it was okay to appreciate the beauty around me…Brady would be proud.

But I still felt my cheeks heat up when he turned around and almost caught me.

"Wow, the um…food smells really good, Jeremiah…did your mom teach you how to cook?"

He shook his head, "No, not really…I mean, I learned from a few of her recipe books and shit but…she got real sick a few years ago…breast cancer…Suzie was only ten and I was fourteen. Mama got so sick with her chemo that she couldn't even get outta bed. I got tired of watchin' Suzie eat bologna sandwiches for dinner every night so I just started tryin' to cook. I sucked at it for awhile but eventually I got pretty good. I like it…it gives me somethin' else to focus on when life sucks…"

"I'm really sorry, Jeremiah…"

He smiled, "You won't be when you taste my biscuits and gravy."

After breakfast, my dad picked us up at Wayne's house and we all made our way out to the lake.

The day was spent fishing and eating and chatting and playing around…it was a perfect day.

The girls returned later and after a long talk with Barb, she agreed to let Suzie come to Forks. She was thrilled but still very worried about her brother staying behind.

We ended up staying a couple more days to get everything with Suzie settled and my mom just had to go out baby shopping for Jeremiah.

He was floored when she brought in bag after bag full of bibs, clothes, diapers, bottles…she even bought him a small crib that he could keep in his room until he could get a place of his own.

She was so excited about the bedding set she found with cowboys and pick up trucks all over it.

Alice bought the baby a little t-shirt that said, "If you think I'm cute, you should see my dad."

She advised him not to tell Candace it was from her.

It was hard saying good bye to everyone and Suzie cried and almost stayed when she thought about not seeing her nephew as soon as he was born…but my parents assured her that we'd fly out as soon as Candace was admitted to the hospital so she wouldn't miss anything.

As Jasper and I held hands in the back seat of my dad's SUV, I fell asleep, having been exhausted from a summer full of new experiences…some bad but mostly good…

And my dreams weren't haunted with memories of my past…they were filled with hope for a future full of family and full of love.


	49. Chapter 49

**This chapter was originally an April Fools Day joke so I have moved it to the Lessons Learned Extras on my profile. So if you're interested in reading about just how dirty Brady's dreams are, check it out. (Boy orgy)**

**Thanks for reading, you guys are the best!**


	50. Chapter 50

**Hello out there! We're coming down to the wire guys. One more chapter after this and then an epilogue. I wanna thank you guys again for sticking with me and my boys. **

**Also, I have a story rec! It's called "Something Wicked This Way Come," by lilgent84. Here's the synopsis, 'Edward and Alice find out they come from a long line of powerful witches. Will they be able to master all the magical elements to protect themselves from oncoming danger? And what happens when a Masen witch falls in love with a Cullen Vampire? Edward/Jasp'**

**Now I love me a good supernatural story and though it's only two chapters in so far, he writes wonderfully and is setting the story up so well that I'm super excited to see where he takes it. Oh, and it has an adorable first meeting for AwkWard and VampSper. It's in my Favorites so check it out and leave him some love.**

**I also wanna say a quick thanks to my girl, Maria, for reading my stuff and shooting around ideas with me. **

**One last thing, I have pictures of my Brady and Jeremiah posted on my Facebook if you're interested. The link is on my profile.**

**Enjoy!**

**You're The One by The Black Keys**

**Jay's POV**

I ain't never been so happy in my whole damn life to see the dark rainy sky…this was better than the warm Texas sun any day.

It was getting late by the time we got back so everyone decided to crash at the Cullen's house for the night. Me and Eddie were gonna get started on Suzie's room tomorrow and Esme was gonna take her shopping for some winter clothes.

Suzie had no idea what she was in for when winter hit.

Carlisle told us to call Brady and Tommy to see if they wanted to stay the night too so we could catch up on everything. I was a little relieved when Tommy declined but couldn't wait to see Brady again.

He practically jumped in my arms, going a hundred miles a minute about how happy he was that I was staying here and how he had been so worried he was never gonna see me again. I had been worried too…I woulda missed the crazy little fucker.

So the girls stayed in my old room and all us guys slept in Edward's room. It was the last night that we'd get to sleep in the same bed…well, I'd probably just sneak over on the weekend but still, I held my boy close, falling asleep really, really happy and content.

The next day, we went back to Peter's house and got settled in. Brady and Tommy had kept up on Charlotte's garden while we were gone and Peter was anxious to go sit outside and watch over it. I worried about him but I understood when he said it made him feel closer to her because she started that garden when they first got married and he remembered all the years of her toiling around it, proud as could be when she finally got it just the way she wanted.

It really was beautiful, with bright colored flowers everywhere and stone benches to sit on.

Edward and I got started on cleaning out the back room. There was some old bedroom furniture in it so once the room was cleared out, we started cleaning the dresser and chest. As I was polishing the old wood, I heard Brady and Em come in.

Em was carrying two buckets of paint and Brady was bouncing with excitement, "Hey guys, we found some old paint lying around that we thought Suzie might like for her room."

I quirked an eyebrow at the two unopened cans, "You found two unused cans of butter cream paint just lying around?"

Em just shrugged with a grin on his face and Brady smiled, "We thought it would be nice for her…she said last night that yellow was her favorite color and we thought it might help remind her of the sun, since she'll hardly ever see it here."

My friends were really something.

Emmett helped me paint while Edward and Brady went to work on the rest of the house, cleaning and then making us all lunch.

Peter had told us that this was our home now too and it really felt like one. We all sat on the back porch and ate lunch with him as we talked and laughed…it seemed to really help him and for awhile, the old Peter was back.

When the girls all came back, Suzie actually started crying when she saw her room. Esme had bought her a new satin comforter with little yellow and pink flowers all over it and it matched perfectly. And Peter had us put a few vases of wildflowers in her room because he said that women always loved flowers. I added a few daisies cuz I knew they were her favorite.

Esme and Rose cooked dinner later that night and Carlisle joined us after he got off work. We all sat around again on the porch as we ate, since the kitchen wasn't really big enough to hold us all.

Carlisle gave me instructions about Peter's medication and let me know to call him if I had any questions or saw anything I was concerned about.

After everyone cleared out, me and Suzie finished the dishes and I took out the trash. Once Peter was asleep for the night, I stepped out on the back porch for a smoke when she came shuffling out in her fuzzy yellow slippers, "Hey Jay…it sure is pretty out here, huh?"

She leaned out over the rail and looked out to the garden, breathing deeply with a huge grin.

I smiled back, "Yeah, it's beautiful."

Giggling, she raised an eyebrow and her dimples were deep, "Is this how it is all the time? I mean, is everyone always around and helpin' each other out and stuff?"

Nodding, I shrugged, "Yeah, we're a family."

She bit her lip and looked out to the garden again, "I wish bubby was here. I've only been here one day and I already feel like part of the family…like special and stuff…it's really kinda awesome."

Nudging into her, I laughed, "You _are _family, Suzie Q."

She rolled her eyes and smiled, "You know what I mean…I love our family, I do…but this feels different…like, normal…like how it's s'posed to be. Mama tried, God knows she did, but things were always so hard…never enough money or one of us was always gettin' in trouble…when she got sick and bubby started takin' care of me, it was the most normal I ever felt cuz dinner was on the table every night, no matter how bad it was in the beginnin' and he helped me with my homework after…it was, like, our routine…he's gonna be a good daddy…I just hope Candace don't mess his head up too bad…"

She was still really worried about her brother. For a long time, they only had each other so being away from him was really hard on her. I wasn't her bubby but I loved her like a little sister, so I put my arm around her and she buried her face in my chest, "Don't you worry about Jeremiah, darlin'…he can take care of himself and you're gonna see him at Thanksgiving…maybe sooner if that baby comes…"

We talked for awhile longer and she was a bundle of nerves about school wondering if she'd be able to keep up. I knew she could if she tried.

I told her to take my room for the night so the paint could set and I took the couch.

I was starting to drowse off watching Scarface on TNT and giggling every time they dubbed out the cuss words with somethin' crazy. My phone vibrated on the coffee table and I smiled as I picked it up, "Hey babe…"

"Hey Jay…I just wanted to tell you I love you before I went to sleep…"

Warmth washed over me as I curled into my pillow, "Love you too, Eddie. It's gonna be hard sleepin' without you…"

He sighed, "I know…I miss lying next to you…hearing your heart beat…but I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

Smiling like a dumb ass, I whispered, "You're gonna see me every day for the rest of your life, baby boy…"

And for the first tine, I knew I was telling him the truth…it felt great to no longer have that dark cloud of gloom lurking overhead anymore. Other people may see those dark skies when they look up, but I'm blinded by an eclipse…all I can see is sunshine in my life now.

"Promise?"

I smiled as I listened to his pretty voice, knowing that if I needed him or he needed me, we weren't far away, "I swear, Eddie."

We talked for a few minutes longer before finally saying goodnight. I fell asleep easily and with a smile on my face.

The next day, Emmett and Tommy came over to hang out with Peter so Edward and I went over to Jacob's house to see him and Bella. Suzie was gonna go with us so we could introduce her.

I decided to try and get along with Tommy, for Em and Edward's sakes, so I offered him a cup of coffee. He smiled sheepishly as he took the mug and mumbled, "Thanks."

I felt awkward but pushed it aside, as I cleared my throat, "Hey, um…thanks for takin' care of Charlotte's garden and watchin' out for Peter."

He sighed as he sat down at the small kitchen table, "You don't have to thank me…I like Peter…"

Then he chuckled a little, "He calls me Elmo…"

That caused me to laugh as I leaned against the kitchen counter, "Elmo?"

Raising his bright aqua eyes up to mine and rolling them, he smiled, "He heard Brady telling me to quit being so emo…Peter thought he said elmo…"

I couldn't help but chuckle as Peter came walking into the kitchen, rustling up Tommy's hair as he smiled, "Mornin' Elmo, you boys ready to go fishin'?"

I think it was a good thing that me and Tommy may not particularly like each other, but we were both big enough to be civil with one another cuz sometimes you just gotta deal.

Peter, Em, and Tommy left shortly after and Edward picked me and Suzie up. It was nice to see Jacob and Bella again, and of course, Brady was there too. It kind of stung though, to hear that Jacob was still hanging out with the homophobic Rez boys that I once considered my friends. He said that he didn't agree with them but that they had all been friends since they were babies and he couldn't just cut them out completely.

It hurt me a little but it hurt Brady worse, being his cousin and all. But, again, sometimes you just gotta deal.

The last week of summer flew by way too fast and I was well aware that our little slice of Heaven would quickly be turning into the hell known as high school. Edward and I had spent some time preparing for our return cuz we knew it was gonna be ugly. We'd have our friends, of course, but after Edward's stay in the hospital and my being shipped off to Texas and then rescued by Eddie, the other kids at school were guaranteed to be brutal.

But we decided that we were just gonna face it head on together and not let the mother fuckers who hated on us, bring us down. We were stronger than any stupid high school bullshit and it was gonna be tough, but not impossible to stay level headed.

Peter sat me down, though, the night before school started and gave me some advice that I was gonna try hard as hell to follow…

"_Remember this, son…it only takes about fifteen seconds to do somethin' that can't be undone…so when somebody does somethin' that pisses you off…just stop and take fifteen seconds to think 'fore you react. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react. Fifteen seconds can land you in the principal's office, or expelled from school or even in prison, just ask your cousin Brandon, I'm sure he'll tell ya the same thing. So, I need you to try and keep your head about you, boy, cuz you're livin' under my roof now and I expect just a few things from you…good grades, good behavior, and honesty. You've been given a second chance to do shit right…so don't fuck it up…"_

_He gave me a wink as he slowly stood up and I smiled, "I won't mess up again, Peter…but can I ask for somethin' from you?"_

_Smirking he leaned on his walker, "You can ask…"_

"_Just promise me that you'll let me know if you need anything…I mean, even if it's just to talk…"_

_He slowly nodded and gave me a soft smile, "I will. Now don't stay up too late, I'm gonna go have a talk with Suzie 'fore she goes to bed. Remember, boy, peaks and valleys…I hope you're ready for that push down into the valley cuz you're gonna have to be tough to reach that next peak. But just keep on pushin' cuz I promise ya, it's gonna get better. Night, son." _

"_Night, Peter."_

But now as me and Eddie pulled into the parking lot, I could feel the panic rolling off of him in waves. So I slipped my hand into my backpack and then reached over, taking his sweaty palm and placing a packet of honey in it as I grinned, "Think happy thoughts, darlin."

Suzie giggled in the back seat and Eddie smiled as he tore open the packet and began sucking on it…which wasn't helping the situation in my jeans any.

"Thanks, Jay…I love honey…oh, and you too…"

My little pooh bear…the boy was just too damn cute.

"You ready, Eddie?"

He nodded as he licked the last of the honey from his cherry lips, "Yeah, let's get this over with…and remember, Jay, if someone insults me, let me handle it…I love you but I need to fight my own battles and you need to keep your nose clean because I will not risk losing you again so ,_here_, you're my best friend and my boyfriend…not my hero…"

Peter's words wrung in my ears and I simply nodded, "Yeah, babe…but ya know I got your back…"

His lips turned up into the crooked smile as he whispered, "And maybe if you're a good boy this week, you'll get to have my back this weekend again in the Volvo…or the truck…"

_Fuck yeah I was gonna be good…_

Cuz Peter had given me his old truck so I wouldn't have to break into the money granny left me to get a car and we hadn't christened that sucker properly yet.

We were both feeling better once we actually left the car but our blissful little bubble didn't last long. It started with staring in the parking lot…and then whispering in the hallways…and by the time we made it to our lockers, there was straight out laughing and snide remarks like, "Homos" and "Crazy" flying around all over the place.

And then Newton walked by with Eric, "Too bad the fag can't even kill himself right…they never should have let him outta the nuthouse!"

The boys broke out into laughter and I had to close my eyes and count to fifteen cuz if I looked at my baby boy right now, it would only take me ten mother fuckin' seconds to go to prison cuz I would snap those bastards necks…

God, it physically hurt to restrain myself but then I heard Edward's voice, sounding kinda bored, "Newton, it's a well known fact that these two fags have both already beaten the shit out of you…"

I opened my eyes and saw Eddie turn around after putting some books in his locker, to face the boys without an ounce of fear in him, "So, if I were you, I wouldn't taunt the 'crazy' boy…"

Newton noticeably gulped and Edward broke out into a sweet crooked smile, "Because I could lose it at any moment and go psycho fairy on your ass, painting your toe nails glittery pink and color coordinating your outfit so that you actually match for a change…"

I couldn't stop the laughter as I watched Newton's face screw up in horror before Eric started dragging him away, mumbling about crazy gay people.

Looking over at me sheepishly, I held out my fist and smiled, "Nice, Eddie."

He bumped it back and nodded, "Thanks, Jay."

The rest of the day passed pretty uneventful except for the occasional snicker or taunt but we just did our best to ignore them. I was still in the regular classes so I had a couple classes with Tommy and Suzie but Brady and Edward were in the advanced classes. However, I had talked with Mrs. Cope before the school year started and the teachers agreed that if I excelled in my classes during the first semester and didn't have any disciplinary problems, then they would let me try out the advanced classes next semester. So I just stayed as focused as I could on what I was learning and not what the other kids were saying.

With Emmett, Alice, and Rose being seniors, we really only got to see them during lunch but it was kinda obvious that people were shunning them too by the looks and whispers of the older kids that passed our table.

Brady sighed as he played with the straw in his milk, "Um…do you guys want us to sit at another table so they'll leave you alone?"

Emmett spoke with a mouth full of pizza, "Fuck 'em!"

A group of guys with their arms strategically placed around their girlfriends, walked by and coughed while laughing, "Fags!" Alice just smirked at Rose and raised an eyebrow. Rose nodded and the next thing I know, those two girls are lip locked.

An audible gasp came from the onlookers and then the guys were adjusting their jeans and cat calling.

When the kiss ended, Alice smiled and stood to face the group of guys that had been watching, "So, you're okay with a little lesbian action but gay guys are gross, right?"

The jerks at least had the decency to be a little red faced but they still answered with cocky arrogance, "Lesbians are hot, fags are nasty."

She returned the confidence as she smirked, "Just imagine this, boys…as hot as you think lesbians are, there are many, many women who think a little boy on boy action is hot too…so when you're all sweaty in the backseat of a car, fumbling with the bra strap, there's a very good chance that the girl underneath you, has thought about those two boys making out and is using it as a way to get hot enough to actually want to do it with you."

She turned her nose up and sat back down as we all broke out into laughter. The guys still snickered and walked away but not before calling Alice a dyke.

Of course, she just rolled her eyes and kindly told them to fuck off but by the look in Rosie's eyes I could tell that she wasn't gonna let that shit go.

She flashed Alice an evil little grin before standing and walking over to the merry clan of assholes. We watched as she started talking to one of the dickheads girlfriend, a bright excited smile breaking across the young girl's face as she handed Rose her phone. A moment later, she was smirking as she held it up for the boyfriend to see something on the screen. Then she smiled at the girl and handed the phone back before saying something then walking back to us.

When she sat down, Alice snickered, "Oh Rosalie, Mistress of Doom, what did you do?"

Rose just shrugged, "That girl, her name is Aimee and she tried out for the squad last year but didn't make it. Anyway, I told her about Hannah breaking her ankle last week and that we needed a replacement. So when she gave me her phone, so I could give her my number and setup a time to try out, I happened to glance through her saved videos and low and behold, there was the one of Eddie and Jay making out that got passed around last year. I showed it to her boyfriend and told her that if she dumped the prick then she would get my vote, which is really all she needs since I'm head cheerleader."

That was just one of the reasons I loved Rose…she was an evil bitch but it suited me just fine.

Edward's face shot up in flames, "People actually saved those?"

Alice munched on a carrot as she pulled out her phone and showed it to us, the image right there of me kissing my boy senseless on the roof of the car while the rain poured down, "Yep, I saved it."

I laughed and Edward looked even more embarrassed as Rose shrugged, "Yeah me too."

Then Brady's cheeks tinted as he looked down at his half eaten pizza, "Um, yeah…me too."

Em held his hands up and shook his head, "Not me, dude."

Tommy sighed, "Me neither."

Suzie giggled as she and Alice watched the video, "Ya'll are just too damn cute!"

Edward laughed with rosy red cheeks, "God, my friends are pervs."

Smiling, I finally started eating and shrugged, "I dunno, I think it's kinda flattering. And you're a perv a too, must've gotten it from that fine ass daddy of yours…"

His whole face was on fire now and I couldn't help but fuck with him cuz…I dunno, that shit was fun to me sometimes and he knew it didn't mean anything.

I just loved that cute blush.

Now Brady started laughing, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind playing doctor with him…"

Then Rose, "I know, right! He's freaking gorgeous!"

Tommy smiled, "Yeah he's really nice too."

Alice smiled sympathetically and put her tiny hand on Edward's shoulder, "Seriously, Edward…your dad is hot. Really, really hot…"

I didn't think Edward could get any redder than he was without popping a blood vessel…but I wrong cuz then Em held his hands up again and smiled, "I don't think your dad's hot, dude…but now your mom, she's badass…"

Alice held out her fist for Em to bump, "I'll second that one, big boy…"

He bumped her fist as they all broke into laughter. I put my hand on my baby boy's shoulders and squeezed, "Alright, let's quit pickin' on Eddie…"

But then he looked up at me and smirked with red cheeks, "It's okay, Jay…I mean, your cousin Jeremiah is one fine ass cowboy…"

Rosalie, Alice, and Brady quickly agreed while Suzie rolled her eyes and I just shrugged with a cocky smile right back, "Yeah, he's a Whitlock…we're good lookin' mother fuckers, that's like our shit…"

When the school day finally ended, I breathed a sigh of relief cuz yeah it sucked, but it could've been worse.

For a few weeks, things sucked but they were manageable as long as we all stuck together as much as possible. I kept focused on my studies and makin' out with Eddie as much as possible to relieve stress cuz lately football hadn't been as therapeutic. A bunch of the guys started singling me out in every damn practice, and I was getting thrown to the ground and stomped by three or four guys who "forgot" to run the right play.

Em would bitch to the coach about them blowing their blocks to gang up on me and they would get seated on the bench for a couple plays but then they'd come back and do the same thing again.

But really, those assholes did me a favor cuz by the time the games rolled around on Friday night, I had so much venom that I was seein' red and ready to tear some fuckers heads off. So I focused all my anger into the game and I currently held the school record for most sacks in a single game.

Edward finally tried out for the track team and made it. I didn't know much about track but I loved watching his strong thighs flex as he ran and I'm not gonna lie, his ass looked fuckin' great in those little blue shorts.

He didn't have the same kinda resistance on the track team that I had on the football team so I was grateful for that.

After a month or so of being the hottest topic of gossip, other kids started doing stupid shit, like getting wasted at parties and throwing up on Chief Swan, or getting caught cheating with their best friend's girl or boy…eventually, the shit about us died down and fell to the bottom on the list of scandalous behavior by the teens of Forks, Washington.

And then things were strangely…normal.

Edward and me alternated between him picking me and Suzie up in the mornings, or me and Suzie would pick him up and we'd ride in together. We'd all meet up in the parkin' lot and chill for a few minutes before we went our separate ways. Em and Rose always stuck with Alice and either me, Edward or Suzie always stuck with Brady. Those two were the smallest of the group, but also had the biggest mouths and a flair for the dramatic so they tended to get picked on a little worse than the rest of us.

But that flair landed them both in the drama club and Ali got the starring role in the fall program, "David and Lisa." And she was excellent as the hauntingly charming but disturbed young girl. Brady was a costume designer and he did a great job too cuz everything looked so authentic, they were both very talented.

Rose just fell into her Ice Queen mode at school, really earning her Mistress of Doom title, making sure that any girl who threatened to take her throne gets a royal kick in the ass. She had always been one to rule with fear so the insults and taunts only added fuel to her fire. She's been teaching her bitchy secrets to Suzie so that she can take over the role of "the don't-fuck-with-me bitch," when Rose graduates. Rosie tried to get her to try out for cheerleading but Suzie said that wasn't really her thing…she said she was gonna join the softball team instead cuz her with a baseball bat was way scarier than her with some pom poms.

I agreed, and I was thankful that she wouldn't be wearin' them short ass cheerleadin' skirts to school. Though that skin tight baseball uniform would still earn more than a decent amount of hootin' and hollerin' from the assholes at school but I was proud cuz she had been a real good girl so far, tellin' all the douche bags that asked her out that she didn't really wanna date right now. She preferred to spend her extra time with the horses, Smokie and Augie or her girlfriends, mainly Brady.

They had gotten pretty close, having a sleepover once a month with a few of their friends…she said that he was officially in the circle of love amongst the girls and they all could offer him a certain amount of protection.

She was like the teenage Godfather…I was pretty proud.

Me and my mom had started writing each other and my dad actually kept his word about meetin' up with me every couple of weeks for dinner. We'd meet at a diner in Seattle and talk for a couple hours. He filled me in on how much Candace and Jeremiah were struggling right now. I talked to Jeremiah every few days but he'd always just make jokes and try to keep the discussion light any time I asked how he was doin'. He was workin' and they were renting a little half double. Candace was due right around Thanksgiving, so it would be any day now. And Jeremiah might've been struggling but he was damn excited about his son coming.

And I'd tell dad about school and football. He said he'd try to make a game before the season ended and I kinda hoped he would. But, of course, things weren't perfect between us and there had been a few times when our smart ass mouths would get the best of us if a sensitive subject was touched on. Like how he kept askin' me if I was sure I was gay at every dinner we had, just swearin' that maybe I was too young to decide somethin' like that…

I hated that he thought it was some kinda choice I made, like I was just lying there in bed one day and thought, hmm…I think I'll like boys cuz I wanna get picked on and I'll have to be tougher cuz people are bigoted assholes, even the people who are supposed to just love you unconditionally no matter what you are…

Yeah that sounds like so much fun.

People who think this shit is a choice, are just fuckin' stupid.

After a couple of heated arguments and a warning from the manager of the restaurant, he finally dropped the subject and we tried our best to just separate for a few minutes to calm down when things started to get out of hand.

Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't but I still felt like even if things weren't perfect…they were better than they were before so it seemed like we were making progress.

And the Doc always said that was the most important thing in life…to just keep progressing…keep growing and learning…

Edward had been seeing a new Doc since we got back cuz Doc Greene said he was just too close to us to be dissociated anymore. So he referred Edward to a colleague of his and I decided that I didn't need therapy anymore. As long as I had someone to vent to every now and then, I was good. And I always had Eddie…and a lot of other people too.

He had been seeing his new therapist once a week since the beginning of school but they finally lessened it to twice a month now. He had been doing surprisingly well since school started, only having a few nightmares but not winding up in the shower because of them. We had our moments though when we were quicker to snap at each other when our daily frustrations became overwhelming…like the day after his first nightmare when I asked him what was wrong cuz he had dark circles underneath his pretty green eyes and he mumbled that he just didn't sleep well.

I asked him if he had a nightmare and he blew…

"_Yes, Jasper! I had a fucking nightmare! Just like before, nothing has changed and I really don't need another stupid 'everything is going to be okay' speech cause it's all bullshit!"_

I sat there shocked while he jumped out of the Volvo and slammed the door, stomping into school without me.

It hurt but I gave him some space until he came to me at lunchtime, asking if I would sit outside with him so we could talk.

Of course I did. He apologized for yelling at me and confessed that the nightmare hadn't been as bad as the ones before but it scared him because he thought he was making real improvement and this seemed like a setback.

I reached underneath the table and grabbed his hand, it was already chilly outside so there weren't many people out but we had been trying to watch our public displays of affection, not wanting to draw more heat than we already had.

Looking into his pretty green eyes, I sighed, "Eddie, you know that it's not gonna disappear overnight…it's gonna take a lot of time and work and even then, the nightmares may not ever stop completely. But just remember, darlin…they're only dreams and those demons can't hurt you anymore. And you _are _doin' a lot better, baby…so anytime you need to holler your pretty little head off, you can holler at me cuz you're fuckin' sexy when you're pissed…"

I grinned and he giggled and all was right with the world again.

Or as right as the world could get, I guess.

He was always there for me when I lost it too, like the time after one of my many beat downs by my teammates…

I was icing down my shoulder in the locker room after practice, my body was black and blue but all I wanted to do was just hit something so I stayed after and beat the shit out of the heavyweight bag.

Everyone else had gone but Edward found me and gasped when he saw my bruised back and shoulders, quickly coming over to help take care of me.

But I was still fuming with the need to hit something so badly and not wanting to feel his comforting touch cuz I knew that it would calm me down, I flinched and shrugged his hand off as I huffed, "I'm a god damn man, Edward, I don't need your fucking help!"

Hurt washed across his face quickly but soon it was replaced with a look of stone as he raised his chin defiantly, "What's wrong, Jay? You want to fight?"

I growled as I hit the lockers in front of me, "Fuck yeah I wanna fight! I wanna rip those fuckers god damn head off but I can't! No, I gotta be good and not get in no fights so now those sons of bitches think they can just push me around like a god damn pussy! I'm so god damn sick of this shit! I'm gonna fuckin' lose it and kill some fuckin' body if I keep holdin' this shit back!"

I was pullin' at my hair when he threw his shirt to the ground and screamed out with emerald eyes, "Fine, Jay! You want to fight? Then let me get the baby oil out of my backpack and we'll fight!"

His words stopped me cold and I chuckled as he shuffled through his backpack, pulling out a travel size bottle of baby oil.

Now I couldn't stop the grin that came to my face, "You carry baby oil in your backpack?"

Holding it up with a sexy crooked smile, he slowly walked over until he was right in front of me. Trailing his soft fingertips down the center of my stomach, he shot a look to a bathroom stall before smiling up at me, "What can I say? I have this super hot boyfriend who's kind of like a boy scout…I mean, soldier, and he taught me to always be prepared. So if you still want to fight, how about we lock ourselves in that stall and you can try to fight me off?"

A minute later, our pants were around our ankles and our baby oil slicked hands were jerking each other off in a frenzy. We pushed each other against the walls and pulled one another closer as we stumbled frantically to release.

And when it came, the weight of the world went with it and I felt so damn good. All that frustration had melted away cuz in the world of the teenage boy, sex trumped anger…every time.

But that was like a month ago and now things were going pretty good. We had fallen into a routine of going out on Saturday night, either alone or with our friends, but then we always spent at least our last two hours alone…usually making out at my house after Peter went to bed or fuckin' in the truck or Volvo.

And it was Saturday night now, Thanksgiving break had just started. Candace had been in labor for ten hours already and we were set to fly out to Texas on Monday and spend a few days to see the baby.

It was already dark when I got to Edward's house for our date. We hadn't seen each other all day cuz me and Em had gone paintballin' with a few of the guys on the team that weren't dicks and Edward had went shopping with Brady and Suzie for some gifts for the baby. I went in and talked to Carlisle and Esme for a little bit while I waited for my boy. He had a 1 am curfew and it was already nine o'clock so I was anxious to get outta there.

Esme was slicing an apple and I was munching on a piece when Edward came rushing into the kitchen, "Sorry for making you wait, Jay. Are you ready?"

I looked up and damn near choked on the apple when I saw Eddie wearin' a pair of tight black jeans distressed with a bronze color and a matching equally tight chocolate t-shirt.

I fuckin' loved that color on him cuz it looked so damn good with his pale skin and red lips and bronze hair…and the tightness of the denim on his ass and thighs and the shirt that stretched across his newly forming six pack had struck me stupid cuz the next thing I know, Carlisle is handing me a glass of water and smirking at me.

"Are you okay, son? You've been standing there with your mouth hanging open…"

I snapped my jaw shut and dropped my eyes from Edward's package, finally aware that his mom and dad were standing right here, watching me eye fuck their only child.

I had the decency to blush as I thanked Carlisle for the water and quickly gulped it down, trying to catch my breath again.

When I regained composure, I looked back up at Edward who was blushing just as hard as I was, "You look really nice, Eddie."

Raising those pretty green eyes to mine, he smiled and spoke softly, "Thanks, Jay."

We rushed outta there pretty damn fast to avoid further embarrassment on my part. When we went back to my house, Suzie and Brady were curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and in pajamas complete with fuzzy slippers, hers were yellow…his were rainbow.

I was kinda bummed cuz havin' company meant that it was gonna be harder to talk Edward into letting me fuck him in my bedroom. But I was never one to turn down a challenge.

They were watching Grease and apparently taking turns singing the Olivia Newton-John songs, cuz according to Brady, she had all the good parts.

I had been itchin' to get my boy alone for days now so I just smiled, "Hey um, is Peter asleep yet?"

Suzie raised an eyebrow and grinned, "Why yes he is, Jay…his hearing aid is charging and he took his pills 'fore he went to bed so he'll be out for the rest of the night."

Letting out a sigh of relief, I shuffled Edward along, "We're goin' to my room…"

Edward's cheeks were pink as he mumbled, "To, um…study…"

Brady giggled, "How about a group study session then, Edward?"

Now Eddie smiled back at him from over my shoulder, "In your dreams, Brady."

His face lit up as he looked at Suzie, "Ooohh, let's go look at 80's pop videos on you tube…I have a sudden need to hear Debbie Gibson's, 'Only In My Dreams'…"

They took off to her room as I finally pushed Edward through my door and shut and locked it behind me.

I decided that the direct approach was best cuz Eddie was pretty good at seein' through my bullshit.

"Eddie, Peter ain't wakin' up tonight and Suzie and Brady won't hear a thing…I'll turn on some music and we can be really, really quiet but I need you, baby. So please…_please_, let me fuck…"

Apparently, he needed it as bad as I did cuz he pulled out his phone, nodding as he whispered, "Turn on some music, I'm setting my alarm for 12:15 just in case, I fall asleep afterwards…"

The Black Keys played in the background as we stripped each other down. I couldn't wait to peel those damn jeans off of him and when I did, I was rewarded with a sexy pair of tight black briefs. I groaned and smiled up at him, "Did Brady take you shopping?"

He blushed and nodded, "Um, yeah…you don't think I look…stupid?"

Shaking my head, I drug them down his legs and started peppering kisses along the newly exposed flesh, "Fuck no…you look so god damn hot, baby boy…"

Once we were both stripped bare, we crawled underneath my blanket, our lips and hands never stopping. We took our time, since we had a few hours, and worked each other over leisurely…relishing the slow torture of really working for our release.

It was no longer an exploration of each other's bodies cuz we were now in familiar territory…we were at home in each other's bodies as much as we were our own.

So, I knew the route I was taking as I slid down his chest, licking and nipping my way along his lean stomach and relishing the feel of it clenching underneath my tongue.

I know my boy liked hard, deep, fast head but given that we had to be quiet, I took it slow. Placing wet kisses along his thighs and pelvic bone, I teased him first as I licked and sucked all around his cock as it pulsed and leaked for attention.

Then getting my fingers good and wet, I pressed one inside as I took him deep down my throat. He grabbed my pillow and pulled it over his head, letting out a gasp and moaning like crazy as he pushed against my finger, silently telling me he wanted more. So I deep throated his dick while I finger fucked his ass and he was grinding against my fingers and alternating between fisting my curls and fisting the sheet beneath him.

Finally, he threw the pillow to the ground and looked down at me through hazy green eyes and flushed cheeks, pretty bronze hair stickin' up all over the damn place, whispering through labored breaths, "Oh God Jay…I'm gonna cum so fucking hard, baby…"

And he did moments later, so I swallowed everything he gave me and I was so god damn worked up now that I didn't even give him time to recover before I stood up on my knees, coated my cock and his ass with lube, and started pushing my way inside his tight hole.

He gasped again and I quickly leaned forward, capturing his lips and swallowing his moans now too. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer as his fingers twisted in my curls. I had his knees draped over my forearms and I held his legs wide apart as I kissed him slow and fucked him with deep, long strokes…and it took all I had not to fuck him hard into the mattress but we had to be quiet. I was really thankful for his track team cuz he was pretty damn flexible now.

But Eddie and I never stay in one position for too long and soon I was on my back as the boy rode me, slow and deep, his cock now stiff again and trapped between our stomachs as his lips never left mine.

My hands were on his ass and my heels dug into the bed as I pushed up into him while pulling him down onto me. I loved the way I could feel his body stretching around my cock…his body fit mine like a glove…like we were made for each other.

There was no doubt in my mind that we were.

So when our release finally came and we were lying in my bed, sticky and sweaty, still recovering in the blissful aftermath…I took the opportunity to enjoy the familiar feeling of having him in my arms, naked and fully sated, and wishin' like hell that he didn't have to leave in an hour.

But it was okay cuz I'd see him again tomorrow…and the day after that…and the day after that…

The moonlight crept in through the window and illuminated his sweet face as he lay sleeping, curled up on my chest while I played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

As crazy as it was, this was probably one of my favorite things to do…lie in bed with my baby boy, him sleeping peacefully wrapped around me and my whole body too weak from our lovemaking to feel any pain or stress…this was my Heaven.

Because our lives weren't always easy but being together always was…and even if our reality's weren't perfect, I had this little piece of paradise to hold onto and it made all the stupid bullshit in my life, totally worth it.

It seemed like no time till we were down in Texas and I was watchin' my cousin glow like I had never seen before as he held his little boy.

Jeremiah Jr., or JJ as we dubbed him, looked just like his daddy and I smiled as Eddie whispered, "It's insane how strong your family's genes are…"

Carlisle, Esme, and Suzie were here with us and Em, Brady, and Tommy were gonna take turns spending the night with Peter while we were gone cuz he felt a little too worn down for the trip.

Candace ended up having a C-section so still had to stay another night in the hospital. So, me, Eddie, and Suzie stayed at his house with him the night before he brought JJ home.

They're double was small but it was clean and Jeremiah had totally pimped out JJ's room. It was the only one in the house that was fully decorated with painted blue walls and matching curtains to the pickup truck bedspread Esme had bought him, he said his mama had made them since they couldn't afford to buy nice ones.

He had pictures of all the family on the walls and an old rocking chair in the corner that he had sanded and stained, next to a small hand painted book shelf that he found at a yard sale and redone.

He was working third shift at a little warehouse outside of town and he seemed to like it alright. Candace and him had been arguing a lot but he hoped it would ease down now that JJ was finally here.

We stayed the week and Esme and Aunt Barb pitched in on Thanksgiving dinner, Esme doin' her cookin' at my daddy's house.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched Edward lay on a blanket in the middle of the floor next to JJ. He was lying on his side, smiling at the baby as he brushed his soft fingertips over JJ's hair and face, and then he would giggle when JJ would grab his finger and shake his hand around.

The last day we were in Texas, Jeremiah pulled me to the side and asked me if I thought his old truck would make it to Forks…just in case, cuz if Candace did leave him, he wanted to have a back up plan.

So I tuned up his truck and changed the oil, and told him that if he ever needed me to just call cuz I could make it down here to him no matter what.

It was hard when we left again, especially for Suzie who didn't wanna leave her bubby and nephew but Carlisle and Esme said they would fly the family to Forks for Christmas so JJ could have his first Christmas, be a snowy one.

That made Suzie happy and Jeremiah was touched…I don't think Candace was too keen on the idea though.

The next few months passed by without major incident and Christmas came and went. Things at school weren't too bad, only the occasional snide remark and football season had ended so no more daily beat downs from my teammates.

But I've always heard that revenge is a dish best served cold and after months of waiting, I finally got my payback on the guys from the team.

Rosie was having a party during Spring Break when I spotted two of the bastards, drinking rather heavily. I was limiting myself to two beers and Eddie was driving so he wasn't drinking.

I smiled at Rose as she saw me eye them from across the yard. She smiled back and nodded, "Go ahead, Jay…if anyone calls the cops, I'll say they crashed the party to start shit and you were defending yourself."

I leaned over and kissed the top of her forehead, "Thanks, Rose."

Then I finally…_finally _got to whoop some ass.

After those two assholes were lying on the ground, bleeding and holding their broken noses and bruised ribs, I leaned down and whispered in Darren's ear, "Just cuz I'm tryin' to stay outta trouble in school, don't mistake that shit for weakness. You try and give me a hard time again, and I will hunt you down and fuck you up. Do _not _forget who the fuck you're dealin' with."

I went back and had my second beer with a smile on my face and a weight off my shoulders. I knew that Carlisle and Peter wouldn't be happy if they heard about what I did but I refrained from any violent behavior in school and handled this shit outside on safe ground…and that was progress, right?

And I think that's the most important thing…

**A/N: I know I'm running through time pretty fast now so if there are any specific outtakes you really wanna see, let me know and I will do my best to write them once the story is done. **


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: This is a big chapter, lots going on so I hope I didn't leave out anything you wanted to see. Again, if I did, let me know and I will try to do an outtake for you. Also, I wanted to thank you guys for all the nominations for the Slash Awards. It's really, really cool to know that you guys are still loving these boys enough to nominate them, especially with all the incredible fics out there right now. Anyway, this is it…after this, is the epilogue and this journey has ended. I've had a blast and I hope you have as well. Much love, ya'll.**

**Beautiful World by Coldplay, Good Life by One Republic**

**Eddie's POV**

It was hard to believe that Spring Break was already here. The year had flown by in the blink of an eye…well, that's not entirely true because the first few months were a slow, torturous Hell. I wasn't sleeping well because I was very worried for not just me, but all of my friends. We lived in a small town and all of us had effectively outcast ourselves from the "normal" kids.

We were all the weirdos…the freaks…

It was something I was accustomed to but I hated watching my friends go through that. At first I felt responsible, like if they weren't friends with me then they wouldn't be going through what I had went through almost my whole life.

I talked to Doctor Cohen about how I felt and she said that I should pick one of my friends and apologize for getting them outcast…she said it would help my guilt.

I thought that was a little weird but I decided to do it anyway.

So while Rose and I were waiting for our boys after her cheerleading and my track practices, I decided to apologize to her because, although her and Em were popular enough before they met me that they were able to retain some of their kingdom…a big chunk had abandoned ship. They didn't get it as bad as the rest of us but they still got it and we would all witness the occasional snickers of the bitchy senior girls and some of the guys would call Emmett out as a closet case since most of the guys he hung out with were gay.

So, I apologized to her for my reputation bringing hers down. And I'll never forget what she said to me…

"_Edward, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You're not my only gay friend. And I may be popular but that's because I'm rich and look good in a tight pair of jeans. I've gotten flack for years for being best friends with Alice because according to the so called 'normal' people, she's weird…but they don't see the girl that has always stuck up for me…they don't see the strong, unique, and wonderfully different person she is…they can't see that about any of us because they're just sheep content on following the herd…but us, we're rebels. We are who we are with no exceptions and __**no **__apologies…"_

_She gave me a pointed stare and I blushed when she broke into a beautiful smile, "What I'm trying to say is…you didn't make us freaks, Edward…you just joined us."_

_Doctor Cohen was right…it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders as I couldn't help but smile, "Really?"_

_Sighing she looked over at me with pretty hazel eyes, "Do you really think we're all so perfect? Lord knows I'm a complete bitch sometimes…and Emmett looks and behaves like a typical guy but he's really sensitive and sweet and that doesn't always bode well with the other jocks…Alice is hyperactive and has fits of depression…Jasper can be a scary son of a bitch and a cocky asshole, and Brady's so damn gay that I saw him sneeze one time and glitter just went flying everywhere…"_

_That earned a snort as I burst into laughter, "Thanks, Rosalie."_

_Rose smirked as she tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, "Anytime. Now stop feeling guilty because Tommy has already secured the role of emo boy in our merry band of misfits…"_

_I smiled, "Merry band of misfits?"_

_She just shrugged, "Alice and Brady made me watch The Princess Bride over the weekend and some of the lingo stuck."_

"_Oh, I love that movie! Westley was so hot…"_

_That just slipped out…_

_But she just laughed, "I know! He totally reminds me of your dad if he had a little mask and black cape…"_

_Looking off dreamily as she bit her lip and smiled…I rolled my eyes, "I really don't get the whole fascination with my parents…and just eww, Rose."_

That was the day that I realized, all those years spent wishing that I could learn how to be normal were in vain because it turns out what I really needed was to make a few friends who wouldn't judge me because they weren't normal themselves.

They were freaks like me...only some were better at hiding it.

Things were better after that because without the guilt weighing me down, I was able to lift my head and no longer pretend to be okay…I really _was _okay because for all the crap I had to take, all the blessings in my life made it worth it.

And after spending so much of my life being lonely…I realized that that was one feeling I never had anymore. I was never lonely.

"Uh oh, you might wanna go reign in your cowboy, Eddie."

I looked down at Alice and saw her looking off into the distance. I followed her eyes till they landed on my cowboy, who was glaring at Darren and Steve from the football team. I knew those had been two of the pricks that picked on Jay all year. He had been a really good boy, having worked hard and making it into the advanced classes second semester and he hadn't had any disciplinary action all year, so I decided to let him have his fun, he deserved it.

"I'll go get Em so we can have his back if anyone tries to jump in."

I took off for Em and by the time we walked over, Jasper had already walked up and punched Steve square in the nose, dropping him to the ground like a fly before he turned to Darren.

I'll admit…I kind of love to watch Jasper fight. I know it's totally wrong of me because fighting isn't the answer but it reminded me of when we were 13 and he beat up Mike, Tyler, and Eric…

My Superman…

And he told me once that sometimes you just have to fight and I always listen to everything he says because I think he's the smartest person I know.

I could practically feel the weight being lifted off his shoulders as he growled down triumphantly as the foes he had dealt with all year lay there bruised and beaten on the ground. He kept his cool at school in front of them but he was finally able to show them that he was still the tough boy that threw everyone in a tizzy when he arrived because I was fairly certain that Forks had never seen anything like Jasper Whitlock before.

Then I heard Suzie off to the side and I turned just in time to see her with some freshman boys arm twisted behind his back as he fell to his knees in pain. Brady was standing next to her, soaking wet and covered in beer as he tried to wipe off his glasses. Suzie growled, "You think that shit's funny? Lemme show you what I think's funny…Brady, grab a beer from the table and dump it on this mother fucker's head…"

I chuckled as Brady nodded quickly and I grabbed a beer from the table and handed it to him, "Are you okay, Brady?"

He smiled up at me as he nodded, "Yeah, I love Suzie…she's badass."

I couldn't agree more and it was fun to watch Brady laugh as he slowly poured the beer out over the pissed off freshman's head, who struggled to move but apparently Suzie's death grip on his arm kept him from breaking free.

He sputtered out, "You fucking bitch…"

And then he cried out in pain again as Suzie twisted a little harder with a little giggle, "Why thank you, honey, but you ain't seen nothin' yet…"

Then she proceeded to call Tommy over to dump a beer on the guy's head…then Alice…then me…and finally Rose dumped the last one as she rolled her eyes, "Who the hell even gave this little asshole permission to come to my party? Now get the hell out of here before I sic my boyfriend on you because I guarantee you, beer on your head is the least of your worries."

Suzie let go of the guy's arm as he stood, covered in mud and beer. Suzie grabbed Brady's hand and growled at the asshole, "Now you run along and tell all your little friends that if anyone touches my boy again, I will fuck them up. Ya'll are stuck with me for three and a half more years and I hold grudges like nobody's business and I'll fight a boy in a Texas minute so ya'll better back the hell off. Got it?"

I loved Jasper's cousins…just saying.

The guy stuttered and stumbled as Jay and Emmett now walked over to the group, "Ok just let me leave…"

Jay smiled as he grabbed my hand and Emmett looked at Brady, finally realizing what was going on. He charged forward and grabbed the guy by the shirt, "Hey that's one of my best friends, dude…did you do that to him?"

Brady came forward and put his hand on Em's arm, "It's okay, Em…it's taken care of, you can let him leave."

Em narrowed his eyes at the guy before dropping him. He scrambled to his feet and took off. Suzie smiled down at Brady, "C'mon, darlin'…I got some extra clothes for ya in Alice's car and then we'll go inside and wash your hair, k?"

He nodded and grinned, "Okay, thanks Suzie."

They took off and Jay squeezed my hand and smiled, "She finally found a boy to give her all the attention she needs and I don't gotta worry bout him hurtin' her…"

That made me laugh as I rolled my eyes, "She's a Whitlock, Jay…I think she can handle herself just fine."

But I was really happy for Suzie and Brady because they both needed someone to lift them up and make them feel special…they found that in each other and I knew without a doubt, if Suzie had a penis or Brady was into girls…they would be totally in love with each other. I mean, they loved each other now, that much was evident and they held a special kind of bond that went even beyond friendship.

"Wanna dance, Eddie?"

I looked over into my beautiful boy's baby blue eyes and smiled, "Yeah."

And so we snuck off to a quiet corner and danced…just like the "normal" people but it was a hundred times better than anything they could ever have because there was meaning behind every thing we did.

And at the end of the night, I drove him home, gave him a long, slow good night kiss, then went home and played Call of Duty online with him and Emmett till the wee hours of the night…this was pretty typical for a non-school night.

Spring Break was a little bittersweet because that meant Alice, Em, and Rose would be graduating soon and going off to college. Em's dad wanted him to go to USC but he wanted to go to the University of Washington with Rose and Alice. He didn't quite know how to break the news to his dad for fear that he wouldn't pay for it if he didn't go where his father wanted.

It was nothing unusual for Emmett to stop by unannounced sometimes and ask to talk to my dad. He had received advice from him on many occasions but later that week when Rosalie showed up on my doorstep in tears and asking for my mom, I begun to worry.

And then less than an hour later when Emmett showed up asking for my dad, I began to panic and called Jay.

"Sup, baby boy?"

"Um…what are doing, Jay?"

"Nothin', just got done mowin' the grass so I'm fixin' to take a shower…what's up, babe, you sound anxious?"

I took a breath and let it out, "I think something's wrong with Em and Rose. They both just showed up separately and are now speaking to my parents. Rose was crying and Em was as white as a ghost."

Now I heard him take a breath, "Well, shit…okay, let me take a quick shower and I'll be there in 'bout half an hour."

"Okay, Jay. Be careful. Love you."

"Love you too, Eddie. See you soon."

When Jay arrived, we sat out on the front porch and waited for what seemed like hours until Rose and Em came walking out, holding hands and both red from crying. I hated to see my friends hurt so I stood and couldn't stop myself from pulling Rosalie into a hug and whispering, "What's wrong?"

She let go of Em's hand and grabbed onto me fiercely as she sobbed, "I'm…pregnant…"

I saw Jay pull Em to the side and whisper, "I thought you used condoms, man…"

Em nodded as he took a big breath, "We did but she started the pill last summer so we stopped…and then she got strep throat a couple months ago…and…"

I was confused and Rosalie pulled away as she sniffled, "I was on an antibiotic…it makes the birth control pills completely ineffective…but I didn't know that…"

Jay pulled out a cigarette and sighed, "Fuck, man…what are ya'll gonna do?"

Em and Rose sat down on the side of the porch while Jay and I sat beside them.

Rosalie wiped the tears from her ice blue eyes, "Carlisle and Esme are having us over for dinner tomorrow along with Em's dad and my mom…they both respect Carlisle so he thought maybe he could help keep things calm while we talk about what we're going to do…"

Now Em nodded, "Yeah, my dad can be an asshole sometimes but he's obviously not all that bad…I mean, he let Tommy come live with us and Brady practically stays with us…I know he just wants the best for me but he's just gotta back me up on this…just this once…because Rosalie and I are getting married this summer and we're gonna have a baby."

With bloodshot eyes, he grinned a beautiful dimpled grin at the girl he loved and she smiled brilliantly through tears as he pulled her into his arms and whispered, "It's gonna be okay, Rosie…I love you and it's gonna be okay…"

And we knew that it would…eventually anyway.

The next day, we all hung out in my room upstairs while they had dinner…wanting to be close just in case things went badly and our friends needed us.

There was some yelling…a lot of crying…and then the slam of a door before we finally made our way downstairs to help in any way we could…but we were surprised at the scene laid out before us.

My mom and dad sat at the kitchen table holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes with a look of pure love…and Emmett's dad, Joe, who was even bigger then Em was, was standing there in tears, arms wrapped around both Rosalie and Emmett as they hugged in the middle of my kitchen.

They stayed there until late into the night, drinking coffee and making plans for their future. Joe had been furious at first but when Emmett started to cry and Rosalie's mom told her not to come home if she planned on keeping the baby before she stormed out…it finally clicked to him that his son was in pain and needed him. They talked about Emmett's mother and how she predicted from the time he was two that her son would be an incredible father one day and the thought of his son's first child, _his _first grandchild, being taken away from them, made him spring into action. Although he was certainly unhappy about the time coming so soon and watching the road his son chose become suddenly much rougher than what he had planned…in the end, he loved his son enough to help him.

They were going to stay with him until the fall when he would help them move to Seattle and find an apartment. Joe would pay for it but Emmett would go to the University of Washington and take so many courses a semester. He and Rosalie would both have to get part time jobs and would have to stay at home with the baby. Alice stepped in and said that she could get a place with them, that way her monthly stipend would help Joe out with the bills and she could help babysit if they needed it. And then she called Jane and they setup a time to hang out with Em and Rose on Sunday because Jane knew of the best and safest babysitter's close to campus. She also had some books and maternity clothes that she hadn't gotten rid of and offered them to Rose, which she gladly accepted.

Rose and Em also accepted Alice's offer of living with them and splitting the bills. Joe thanked her for being such a good friend to his son and future daughter-in-law.

Which led to talk of the wedding. They were going to just go to the Justice of the Peace but Esme, Alice, and Brady all fought on that one, finally deciding to have it in the back yard a few weeks after school let out.

Rosalie wore Emmett's mother's wedding dress and Joe cried when he saw her, just the smallest of a baby bump underneath the white silk. I had never seen those two as happy as when they were announced as Mr. and Mrs. McCarty.

And as Jasper and I danced at their wedding, he smiled down at me, "Shit sure does get crazy around here, huh?"

I smiled as I laid my head on his shoulder and swayed to the music, "Life _is _crazy, Jay."

_Peaks and valleys…_

The summer went by in a blur as we all prepared for things to come. The girls, and Brady, spent most of their time shopping…specifically for the baby. Emmett, Jasper, and I got jobs. Em's dad had gotten him a construction job for the summer before his move to Seattle. Jacob had offered Jay a job at his dad's shop in La Push but he actually ended up working for a mechanic here in town. He thanked Jacob but thought it would be a good idea to stay away from the rest of the Rez boys. I agreed.

And I got a job at…a stupid cell phone store.

It really, really sucked but the deal I made with my dad was that I would replace the money I spent out of my savings from last year's little summer excursion so I just had to suck it up and deal with it.

Jasper didn't make it any easier.

He'd come to the store on the days he didn't work and bring me lunch…

I'd sigh as he'd stand there and just grin at me until I snapped, "What?"

Shrugging and killing me with those damn dimples of his, he'd just grin harder "You look really cute in your little tie…"

Fighting the temptation to smile back at him, I just rolled my eyes, "Fuck off."

Leaning on the counter, he reached forward and started playing with the end of my tie, the smile never leaving his face, "Now is that any way to talk to your ever-lovin' boyfriend who went out of his way to bring his baby boy some homemade biscuits and honey?"

_Aww…damn him for being so perfect…_

A smile finally broke through and I could feel my cheeks begin to burn, "You made me biscuits and brought me honey?"

"Yup…can I have my kiss now?"

Blushing even harder as he pulled just a bit on my tie, I looked around even as my breathing began to accelerate, "Um…I'm at work, Jay…"

"You're the only one here, Eddie…"

"But, um, babe…I could get fired…"

"Do you really care, darlin'?"

Looking into the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen, I felt my breath give way as I mumbled, "Not really…"

Then one hard tug of my tie and our lips crashed together. And that familiar heat washed over me…the fire that only Jay could spark.

Moments later, we were in the storage room…his hands were locked in my hair and mine were underneath his t-shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his back and all the scars beneath my fingertips.

We kissed for what seems like hours before I finally heard that stupid bell on the front door signifying that someone had entered the store.

I pulled away with a gasp and immediately started straightening my shirt and tie. Running my hands through my hair, I tried to push it down a bit, "Does my hair look like I've been making out, Jay?"

The bastard just snickered and cocked an eyebrow, "Really, Edward?"

I knew it was useless, my hair always looked like I had been making out. I huffed and turned to leave, "You're an asshole, Jasper."

I heard his laughter ring out as I stormed out of the storage room and out to help the stupid customer with their stupid cell phone.

But I really couldn't be mad at him for the whole 'tie' thing because on days when I took him lunch while he was working…let's just say that I've ended up with my hand down the front of his dirty coveralls on more than one occasion.

I tried very hard to refrain from attacking him but there were just some things I couldn't resist…

_Jasper sweaty and covered in oil from working on cars all day…_

_Cowboy Jasper…_

_Jay being all ghetto…_

So basically I just couldn't resist anything him…

But in all fairness…the boy was all about some Eddie as well…

It was nice to know that even as our lives settled down from our chaotic beginnings…that fire between us had never flickered even for a moment…if anything, it only grew stronger and more intense with every passing day.

Eventually, summer faded and gave way to fall. Our friends had found an apartment in Seattle and Emmett and Rosalie had both gotten jobs. Alice and Em started school and the rest of us started back in Forks.

It was Junior year and our little circle had gotten considerably smaller with Em, Rose, and Alice gone, even though we still saw each other as much as we could on weekends.

But then, a couple months later Seth Clearwater became a new member of our group. Apparently, he and Brady had been best friends as children until Junior High started and Seth began pulling away with the other Rez boys. He had never participated in any of the taunting but he certainly hadn't stuck up for Brady either. But over the summer, his father had a heart attack and his sister came out of the closet a couple months later. Brady had went to his father's funeral and finally, Seth got his priorities straight and sought Brady out to apologize and hopefully become friends again.

His sister's sexuality and his rekindled friendship with Brady severed his ties with the rest of the Rez boys and pretty soon, he was spending a lot of time with us…specifically Brady and Suzie, especially since he and Suzie started dating in the middle of her sophomore year.

And, once again, things had settled down in our lives for awhile…but life is ever changing, and soon our lives changed again.

It was a Friday night in November and the sound of my phone woke me up. Glancing at the clock, I could make it out to be after three o'clock in the morning. It wasn't Jay's ring tone but I was not expecting the person on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Um, hey pretty boy…"

I shot up in my bed, as my heart began to race, "Jeremiah, are you okay? Is JJ okay? Where are you?"

"Uh…I'm in your driveway…"

Jumping out of bed and throwing some sweats on over my boxer briefs, I spoke quickly, "I'll be right there."

I opened the door to see him getting JJ out of his car seat. Candace wasn't with them.

Grabbing my coat, I ran out and helped him carry a few bags inside. The bed of his truck was covered in a tarp but I could see part of a rocking chair sticking up.

I couldn't believe how big JJ had gotten. He had loose honey blonde curls and chubby little legs and rosy pink cheeks. It's simply amazing how much can happen in a single year.

Once we got inside, I could take the opportunity to really see Jeremiah now and he didn't look so good. I mean, he was gorgeous as always but he looked completely exhausted. And I knew he had to be cold because he only wore a pair of worn jeans and a gray hoodie, no coat.

I led him to the living room and he sat down on the couch as JJ snuggled into his chest, underneath the blue blanket wrapped around him.

Whispering as to not wake my mom or JJ yet, I asked him if he wanted something warm to drink, tea or coffee or something. He looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms and closed his eyes. His voice sounded thick as he whispered, "Yes, please, anythin's fine…thank you, Edward."

I simply smiled and nodded before rushing to the kitchen and heating up some tea for him. By the time I came back, he was slumped against the couch, fast asleep with JJ curled up on top of him.

He didn't look like he had slept in days so I just pulled the throw over top the both of them and settled into the recliner across from them. That way I could keep an eye on JJ because the house wasn't baby-proofed yet and I didn't want to take the chances of him waking up and getting hurt. I also figured my dad should be getting home any time from a late shift at the hospital so I watched TV with the sound turned almost all the way down and drank the tea as I waited.

About an hour later, I heard the garage door open and I met him at the doorway. He spoke in a rushed whisper, "Are they okay? I saw Jeremiah's truck in the driveway…"

Quickly nodding and assuring him they were fine, he took off his coat, gloves, and boots before creeping to the living room with me to see for himself.

I started the coffee pot, having a feeling that it was going to be a long morning. Dad walked into the kitchen and spoke quietly as pulled out a chair and sat while I worked, "What happened, son?"

Shrugging, I turned around and leaned against the counter, "I don't know, dad…he just showed up at about three o'clock this morning and he fell asleep on the couch before I could ask what was going on. He looked exhausted so I just let him sleep."

We talked for a little while about his night at work and I could tell that he was exhausted himself.

"Dad, why don't you go get some rest…"

"Yeah, honey, what are you still doing up anyway?" My mom came shuffling in the kitchen in her robe and slippers as she leaned down and kissed my father's hair before pouring herself a cup of coffee.

And then she gasped as JJ came waddling into the kitchen, straight to the refrigerator.

His tiny hands patted at the enormous box in front of him as he spoke, "Bite!"

My dad laughed and my mom's eyes grew wide, "Oh my God! Why didn't you wake me and tell me they were here?"

Just then, a very disheveled Jeremiah came running into the kitchen and let out a breath when he saw his son, "Jesus, son, you damn near gave me a heart attack…"

JJ's beautiful blue eyes lit up as he toddled to his daddy with his arms up in the air, "Bite, Daddy…bite!"

Jeremiah picked up the happy little boy as he smiled, "Hold yer horses, little man…"

My mom was the first to rush over and throw her arms around the two boys, hugging them closely and whispering, "I'm so glad you're here…"

Jeremiah's eyes closed as he hugged her back and he let out a breath.

My dad smiled and walked over, putting his hand on Jeremiah's shoulder he gave him a little squeeze, "I have to be back at the hospital in a few hours so I'm going to go get some sleep but I have tomorrow off so we'll sit down and talk then okay?"

Jeremiah nodded as his head hung down again.

Patting JJ's head, my dad spoke quietly, "You boys make yourselves at home…Esme will take care of anything you need and we'll figure everything else after we've both had some rest because you look like you're about to fall over, son. JJ, you make sure your daddy eats, then sleeps, okay? Doctor's orders…"

JJ pointed at him then looked at his daddy, "Dat Pap?"

Jeremiah smiled as his eyes lit up at the beautiful boy, "That's right, that's Papaw Carlisle…"

I remember that look on my father's face, having seen it only once before, when he and I were sitting on my piano bench and I called him dad for the first time.

"He called me Pap…"

Jeremiah looked down again, "Uh yeah…I had that picture we took at Christmas of all of us hangin' across from his bed…and I would tell him who all of ya'll were every night so he wouldn't forget…and um, he couldn't say Carlisle and Esme so I just figured it'd be easier to call you Papaw and Mamaw…hope that's okay…"

My dad smiled beautifully through blood shot eyes as he reached out, "Come here to your Pap, little man…"

JJ reached out for him and he looked so happy as he held him in his arms, "Bite, Pap…bite!"

Then my mom came over, looking every bit as elated as my dad, "Let's get this boy some food. Come to mamaw, sweetheart…"

JJ reached out for her now, "Bite, Maw…bite…"

Dad handed him to my mom and Jeremiah smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry for just bustin' in on ya'll like this…"

My mom waved her hand dismissively, "You're family, sweetheart, you're welcome here anytime…"

My dad whined, "I want to play with the baby…"

She smiled at him, "You need to sleep, dear…I'm assuming the boys are staying for awhile…"

Jeremiah nodded, "If that's okay…"

Rolling his eyes and laughing, my dad yawned and stretched, "You know she's not going to put that boy down for at least a good hour, son…"

I chuckled as my mom smirked at my father and Jeremiah laughed.

My dad finally made his way to bed and mom started breakfast. Jeremiah seemed kind of nervous as he hardly looked up from the floor and spoke quietly…almost as if he was afraid to really _feel _what he was feeling so he was keeping his emotions in check but I could see the mask slipping.

It reminded me of Jay…all those times when we were alone and he would just let that cocky, indifferent mask slip and reveal the very human boy underneath…the boy that was exhausted and broken down…the boy that felt everything so strongly but kept it hidden safely inside…

I wanted to help him.

He eventually went upstairs to take a shower before breakfast, after Esme assured him that she was more than happy to keep an eye on JJ. Everything he had was dirty, so I grabbed him some sweats and a t-shirt of Jay's that I often slept in because they were kind of big and baggy and reminded me of him…

But anyway, I took the clothes to his room and the door was cracked open just a bit so I knocked softly.

"Um, Jeremiah…can I come in?"

All I heard was a few sniffles, so I gently pushed the door open to see him sitting on the floor with his back against the bed and his head on his knees. His arms were wrapped around himself as if he were trying to become as small as possible.

I hated seeing him suffer…Jeremiah was the boy that was always happy, always bouncing around goofy and carefree…but right now, he was broken…

Taking a deep breath, I walked in and placed the clothes on the bed before sliding down on the floor next to him.

I spoke quietly, "Um…Jeremiah? I don't know what happened or what you're going through but, um…I'm here for you if you want to talk…and I know how difficult that is sometimes…to just, you know…talk about what's hurting you but…I do know that your burdens would be much easier to manage if you learned to share them…we're all here for you…and we're all willing to help lighten your load…but you have to tell us what's going on…"

I remembered back to the very first night I met Jay…the first night he stayed the night and how he helped me open up…and how much better I felt afterward…that was the beginning of my real recovery.

After a minute, I thought that maybe he wasn't going to say anything but then I heard his voice, rough with exhaustion, "I'm so fuckin' tired, man…I drove straight through…I was afraid to stop…afraid I'd turn around and go back…I don't even know how to explain how I'm feelin' without it soundin' crazy…"

Finally, he raised his tired blue eyes up and looked at me. I smiled a little at him and shrugged, "Then just say it the best way you can and if it sounds crazy, so what, I'm quite fluent in crazy."

There was a hint of a smile before it fell again and he sighed, "It's just…I'm scared of what I _could _be…like, I know that I have it in me to really fuck everythin' up…"

Sensing that he was still holding back, I tried again, "What happened, Jeremiah?"

He sniffled again and looked away, staring at the wall as he barely whispered, "About a month ago, I got a call at work from Ethan tellin' me that I needed to get home right away…it was like, three o'clock in the mornin' and when I got there, he was waitin' on me. He told me that he was drivin' by on his way to his girlfriend's house and he seen Candace leavin'…he knew I was at work so he called me…"

I was a little confused, "So, she was trying to take JJ and leave you in the middle of the night?"

He shook his head and huffed a little, "Fuck no, that bitch left him there…"

"What? She left JJ alone?"

"Yeah, he was asleep in his crib and she fuckin' left him there alone…I don't think I've ever been so god damn pissed in my whole life but then 'bout an hour later, she comes strollin' in high as hell and freshly fucked…I was seein' red, man…I wanted to beat the fuck out of her…I would've too but Ethan held me back…anyway, I told her to get the fuck out and if she ever wanted to see JJ again she'd have to take me to court…"

My mind was spinning and I was angry at her, I couldn't even imagine how pissed off he was.

The words fell from his lips now that he had started, "My mama watched JJ a couple of nights but she's sick again…she can't watch JJ and work and keep up with her doctor's appointments so I tried to find a babysitter but there was only one old lady that I could really afford and still take care of us. I took him there and I tried to leave him so I could go to work but…I just couldn't fuckin' leave him there…the place was kinda dirty and I didn't know or trust that old woman…so I lost my job…"

My heart ached for him, "I'm so sorry, Jeremiah…"

He laughed humorously and rolled his eyes, "Don't feel sorry for me, Edward…I don't deserve it. I tried…I tried really hard to do shit right but after a couple weeks, I had pawned everything I owned to try and keep us afloat till I could figure out my next move…and then 'bout a week ago, Ethan and Caleb offered me in on a job. .."

I smiled, "Well, that was nice of them…"

This time he chuckled for real, "It was an illegal job, Edward…stealin' cars and strippin' them, sellin' the parts and then sellin' the car to some guys we know that drag race…"

My smile fell, "Oh, um…well that wasn't really very nice then…"

He sighed, "I had twenty bucks to my name and an eviction notice on my door so I said yes…it was stupid but I was desperate and a few hundred bucks by mornin' didn't seem like a bad thing…"

Then my heart fell, "You did it?"

"Mama watched JJ for me that night and I got in the car with them…we got about half way there 'fore I just couldn't take the guilt anymore…so I made them let me out and I ran all the way back to mama's house…the next day, I went and seen Brandon in prison cuz I needed to be reminded where that shit could land me. I told him 'bout everythin' that was goin' on and he told me to take JJ and fuckin' run…he told me to just get in the truck and drive here and not to stop to think 'bout what I was doin'…just go…so I left the prison, grabbed JJ and all his shit and started drivin'…this is just the first time I stopped to think about everything that happened."

I couldn't stop myself from reaching over and grabbing his hand, I gave it a small squeeze before letting go and blushing, "Um…sorry, it's probably not appropriate for me to grab your hand…I mean…sorry…I'm still a little awkward…"

I stammered and he broke into a beautiful laugh as he reached over and grabbed my hand, pulling me into a hug, he sighed, "You're sweet, Edward…I can see why my little Cuz fell so hard for you…"

Hugging him back, I smiled, "And you're not a bad person, Jeremiah…I know now that's what you were thinking when you said you were afraid of what you could be…but you got out of the car and you drove here…everybody messes us once in awhile but you corrected your mistake before it was too late. I'm glad you followed Brandon's advice, he must be very smart…"

Breaking from the hug, he smiled, "Yeah, I kinda always looked up to him, ya know, he was older and shit…the night he got caught, all of us were runnin'…they were only gonna give him a year in jail and a year's probation if he'd turn us all in but he wouldn't…so they gave him ten years and he's gonna do probably five of those…he wanted to keep us outta that place and I could just hear his voice tellin' me to just keep drivin' every time I wanted to turn around…"

None of the Whitlock boys having their father's in their lives, I could see how they looked up to one another…good or bad. Maybe Jay and Jeremiah could be the ones to influence the others in a positive way.

"Well, I'm glad you're here and believe it or not, I do completely understand why you were afraid of what you could be…that used to be one of my biggest fears…that I could end up crazy like my biological father…and I'm crazy, alright, but I don't think it's in a bad way and I'll certainly never end up like him…"

"Was he bad?"

I furrowed my brows, "Jay never told you?"

Shaking his head, he sighed, "No, I mean, I know it was somethin' pretty bad cuz he used to always have nightmares and talk in his sleep but when I asked, he said it wasn't his story to tell…"

Taking a deep breath, I slowly exhaled, "Okay, um…my father was schizophrenic and my mother was a classic abuse victim…"

He leaned over and nudged my shoulder, "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to…"

Smiling weakly, I sighed, "It's okay…I think it's good to talk about it sometimes…like how I said earlier about sharing your burdens…besides, I think that sometimes it's easier to understand people if you know their story…Jay says that everybody has one and I have found that to be true…"

So, I closed my eyes and told him my story and when I was finished, I smiled because I got through the story on my own and without becoming a complete mess…

He looked over at me through big blue bloodshot eyes, "Jesus Christ, Edward…I've never…that's some fucked up shit…you're really fuckin' strong, you know that…to be, like, as normal as you are havin' gone through that…"

That caused me to smile more, "You think I'm normal?"

Finally I was graced with a big dimpled grin, "Well, yeah, but look at the source…I'm loonier than a 'toon, pretty boy."

Standing up, I held out my hand and helped him up…he was so tired he swayed on his feet.

"Jeremiah, we're all fucked up…we all make mistakes but my dad once told me that the important thing is to not keep making the _same _mistakes…and ask for help when you need it… you're here now, you're not in this alone so dust off your britches and get your shit together because you have a beautiful little boy down there whose eyes light up every time he sees you and I think that's all the reason you need to be the person you really want to be…not what everyone else has expected you to be…we can break the mold…I have found that freaks like us are very resilient…so take a shower and I'll see you downstairs for breakfast…"

Nodding, he grabbed the clothes on the bed and turned back to me with a small smile, "Hey Edward? Thanks, man."

I smiled back as I headed out the door, "Anytime."

The next few days were hard on him but everyone came down from Seattle and offered their support. They helped us get the boys' bedrooms done and Jeremiah was blown away by the way we all worked together as a family. I don't think I had ever seen Suzie as happy as she was when she saw her brother and nephew settled in with us. Jasper was especially proud of Jeremiah for leaving that stuff behind. The truth was, even with Jeremiah's indiscretion in Texas, he had been doing really well. He quit smoking and had been totally clean since JJ was born except for the occasional beer or two, he had been working, and he had been taking care of his son.

JJ was incredible. He was so smart and cute and funny…he tried to call me Uncle Eddie but it came out as 'UnD' for now. Jay thought that was hilarious. My mom and dad just glowed when he was around and it was really nice to have them both there…and it was kind of hilarious how JJ would come waddling into my room butt naked with his arms up, yelling, "UnD! UnD!" every time his daddy would try and give him a bath.

It turns out the boy was just like his daddy as one of Jeremiah's biggest challenges was keeping clothes on the little guy.

But one thing JJ really liked was my piano. So it soon became a nightly ritual that he would sit on my lap and I would play and sing him a bedtime song while he pounded on the keys.

And in those first few days that passed, Rosalie had her baby. And another beautiful little boy came into our lives. Emmett Joseph McCarty Jr., or as we called him, EmJ, was born exactly one year and three days after JJ.

Things settled down for the holidays and we all were just thankful for the many blessings in our lives. Dad had helped Jeremiah get into an apprenticeship program for the Electrician's Union and he was saving up money for him and JJ to get their own place because as grateful as he was for my parents helping them, he desperately wanted to stand on his own two feet.

And I could tell that Jay kind of looked up to that…it got him thinking about our future together. So, it wasn't that much of a surprise as we sit cuddled together underneath a blanket in his old truck after some incredible lovemaking on a Saturday night, that he pulled me close and whispered, "Don't fall asleep, baby boy…I wanna talk…"

My body was drained and my eyes were so heavy but I had to be home in an hour so I smiled and nuzzled into his neck, "Hmm…go ahead, babe…I'm not even sleepy…"

A few minutes later, I'm assaulted with the bitter cold as I open my hazy eyes and see Jay smoking a cigarette with the window down, his free arm wrapped around me. I jumped up and quickly started pulling my jeans on as he handed me my hoodie, "Sorry, Jay…why didn't you wake me back up?"

He just graced me with that beautiful dimpled grin, "You look really cute when you sleep and I'm not gonna lie, I kinda feel like a pimp every time you pass out after I dick you down real good…"

Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help the smile that broke through as I pulled my hoodie over my head and cuddled back into his side. His jeans were still undone and I found myself absentmindedly running my fingers along his pelvic bone as he groaned and grinned at me, "You're fuckin' insatiable, you know that?"

I just smirked as my fingers dipped lower and grazed his heavy cock that was beginning to twitch to life again, "Bonjour Pierre, vous m'avez manqué, hein? Vous êtes prêt pour moi encore une fois, ne sont pas vous, soldat?"

Jay laughed and swatted my hand away, "Pierre's a dick and easily distracted…for real baby, I wanna talk…"

I smiled as I sat up, "Then button your jeans because you know I can't think straight when he's so close…"

He laughed as he did his jeans up and I tried to reign my teenage hormones in.

"Okay, Jay, sorry for being distracted…what did you want to talk about?"

Taking a drag from his cigarette, he blew the thick white smoke out the window and sighed, "Ya know, our futures and shit…Senior Year is right around the corner and we need to start makin' plans…"

I reached over and grabbed his free hand, "I suppose you're right…what did you have in mind?"

His pretty pink lips turned down and I didn't like it, "Well, I mean, you're really smart, Edward…you're gonna be able to go to any school you want, like Ivy League and shit…I'm doin' good now but I probably ain't gonna be able to get into some of them fancy schools but I don't wanna hold you back…"

My heart began to race as I looked over at him, "Are you saying you want to break up?"

His baby blue eyes went wide as he rushed out, "Fuck no! That's not what I'm sayin' at all! I'm just sayin' that wherever you wanna go…whatever you wanna do…I'll follow you to the ends of the fuckin' earth, Eddie…I'll get a job and apply to some local college wherever you're at…"

I let out a breath and shook my head, "And that would be holding you back, Jasper. You have a whole world of possibilities out there that weren't available to you before…you can go anywhere…do anything…honestly, I'd rather just stay here in Washington and go to the University with our friends…get a little apartment in Seattle and be close to everyone we love…but I don't want to hold you back either…"

Now he let out a breath and grinned, "Really? Cuz that's all I want too. But are you sure, baby? I mean, I know Mrs. Cope has been talkin' to you about, like, Harvard and shit…you're so god damn smart…"

Not able to resist any longer, I pushed the blanket aside and slowly crawled back on top of him, straddling his lap as his fingers cupped my ass and pulled me closer, "You're right, Jay…I'm very smart…smart enough to know what I want. I don't need any Ivy League schools…I don't need anything fancy…all I need is you."

His smile took my breath away as he gazed up at me through lidded midnight eyes, "You got me, baby boy…so, we got like half an hour 'fore I gotta take you home…wanna fool around now?"

Chuckling as I pressed my lips to his, I grabbed his hoodie and pulled him with me as I laid back on the seat, "Yes, Love…"

Growling, he grinded hard against me and whispered, "I fuckin' love it when you call me that…"

Of course, I already knew that.

The rest of our Junior year passed pretty quietly…which was fine by us. We knew that drama would always come and go so we relished the peaceful times when everything seemed right with the world, knowing that the next valley would come but that we would manage our way back up the mountain, as we always did.

And it was funny but Jay and I were pretty…normal, I guess.

We went out on dates almost every weekend, whether it be something as simple as taking JJ and EmJ to the park or making out for hours in his truck parked off in the woods behind Peter's house…but we always made sure to spend time with other people as well. He, Emmett, and Jeremiah would often go paint balling or setup random football games with their friends. Sometimes I would go with them but I also spent a lot of time with Brady, Suzie, Seth, and Tommy. Brady and I had a special relationship…he taught me how to embrace my inner 'twink', as he called it. I wasn't particularly comfortable with the title but I loved the way Jay would react to the tight jeans and playful briefs that Brady would pick out for our dates.

I over heard Jay thanking Brady repeatedly for his influence on my wardrobe…it helped that I had been filling out the last couple years. I mean, I still wasn't built like Jasper and I would probably always be a little smaller and leaner than him, but I liked my body now. Between track and jogging in the mornings, my physique had improved greatly, in my opinion…well, Jay seemed to like it pretty well also.

Tommy and I had become close again, spending our time usually just listening to music or talking. Jay had been jealous at first when I told him that Tommy and I were going to hang out for the afternoon while the girls, and Brady, went shopping…but he got over it pretty quick because he trusted me. It felt really good when he just gave me a kiss and told me to have fun.

Alice was doing really well in school and she had introduced Jane to Seth's sister, Leah…turns out that they hit it off. Alice was always the matchmaker but couldn't seem to settle down herself. I had thought that her and Jeremiah would hook up now with Candace out of the way but he just wasn't ready to start any new relationship until he got on his own and Alice was busy working on her own thing…but they became really close friends with great potential.

And Jeremiah had broken down and called Candace to give her his phone number so that she could be a part of JJ's life if she straightened up. She's called twice in the last six months.

But things with Tommy's mom had improved by the beginning of Senior year, as she left his dad and wanted to try and work things out with her son. He had decided to spend the summer with her in Northern California to see if they could still have a relationship. Emmett had made it clear that he could be there in a few hours to get him if things went bad…but luckily they didn't and he visited her quite often, though he chose to stay at his Uncle Joe's to finish high school.

And Jasper's mother was due out any day and would be transferring to a half way house in Richmond for six months before being completely free again. It worried him that once she had her freedom, he would be pushed aside again…I worried about that too but all we could do was hope for the best.

Things had improved with his father and they still met a couple times a month for dinner. There relationship was strained but improving. Wayne would usually come up to Forks for Christmas, bringing Barbara with him and although it was awkward at times, he was slowly warming up to me…which was a good thing because I intended on spending the rest of my life with his son.

The relationship I had with my mom and dad only continued to grow but it too had not been without its bumps in the road. I turned 18 the summer before Senior Year so I assumed that rules like 'curfew' had gone out the window but unfortunately, they thought different. So, I went a little crazy and stayed out till morning one night after a party…Jay had tried to talk some sense into me and had even at one point, thrown me over his shoulder to try and get me in his truck so he could take me home…but I can run faster than he can.

I should've listened because my father certainly didn't appreciate my brief rebellious period and he actually took my Volvo away and grounded me for two weeks.

Once my time was done, I took Jay's advice and sat down with my dad and talked to him like a man. We worked out my issues with curfew and I respected his arguments about school nights…so in the end, we came to a compromise and they loosened the reigns a bit.

And after one too many times of him walking in on me attacking my gorgeous boyfriend, the 'no closed doors' policy went out the window but he reminded us that we were still not allowed to have sex in his house.

So of course the first thing I whispered to Jay was, "A blow job technically isn't sex…"

But then I heard my dad's voice in the hallway, "Blow jobs count, son…and so do hand jobs…and rim jobs…"

Jay held his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter and I furrowed my brows, "How the hell does he do that?"

That might be one thing I never learn in this lifetime, my father's innate ability to read my mind.

But it was that ability that helped me learn another important lesson in life…

It was just a couple nights before Christmas and I was feeling a little down because…well, Jay and I had talked about our futures in school and Seattle but he had never mentioned us getting married. I thought that perhaps he wanted to wait until after college when we were established and stuff…but I thought that was total bullshit because I didn't want to wait.

My dad plopped down next to me on the couch while I sulked. Jay was working late tonight at the garage, he had been working so much to buy Christmas gifts that I hadn't got to see him very much these last few weeks.

"What's wrong, son?"

"Nothing."

He rolled his hazel eyes and smiled, "Boyfriend troubles?"

I furrowed my brows and huffed, "No…we're fine, dad...he's perfect…well, for me anyway…"

"But he hasn't asked you to marry him yet?"

My eyes went wide as he chuckled like the all knowing smug bastard he is, "How did you…I don't understand it, dad…I know he loves me and we're going to get married but I always imagined it would be the summer after graduation…you know, before we start our lives in Seattle…but here it is, almost Christmas already and he hasn't mentioned a word…what if he wants to wait until after college?"

"Well, if that's his wish then you should respect it…but let me ask you a question first, son?"

I sighed, "Yeah?"

He leaned forward and handed me a small box, "Why does he have to ask you? You're every bit as much of a man as he is…"

I took the box and thought about his words as I opened it to see a beautiful man's wedding ring, it was gold and had baguette diamonds and small sapphire stones.

My dad smiled, "It was my dad's…I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it so you being gay and needing a man's ring is kind of a plus…"

Rolling my eyes, I smiled, "It's beautiful…Jay will look beautiful wearing it…um…do you really think I can do this…I mean, shouldn't you be trying to talk me out of wanting to marry so young?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment before he grinned and shook his head, "Nah…you love him, he loves you…that's really the most important thing. And yes, I know you can do this because I have had the pleasure of watching you grow and mature into an incredible young man. Besides, I'm a bit of a romantic…"

I reached over and pulled him into a hug, "Thanks, dad."

He patted my back as he whispered, "Anytime, son."

Now that I had planned on asking the man I love to marry me…there was only one other person I wanted to speak to first. I got my opportunity on Christmas Eve as I found him sitting by himself, outside on the back patio smoking a cigarette.

I took a deep breath before sliding out the door and approaching him, "Um, Wayne? I wondered if I might have a minute?"

He looked a little shocked since we hadn't really spoken much before and never alone.

"Uh…sure, son, what's up?"

Sitting across from him on a wooden bench, I took another breath and attempted to put my brave face on, "Well, I know that you and Jay have had your disagreements in the past regarding our relationship but it seems that you realize I'm here for the long haul…"

He sighed and took another drag before nodding, "Yeah, I know he's crazy about you, Edward…"

"So, I wanted to let you know that I…um…"

_Deep breaths, Edward…deep breaths…_

"Um…I'm going to ask him to marry me tonight."

Choking a bit on the last drag, he coughed then looked up at me through wide eyes, "You're what? Is that even possible?"

I nodded and stood firm, "It is. Hopefully it will still be legal here by the time summer comes because when school's over, we _will _be getting married…"

He huffed, "You're so sure he's gonna accept?"

Hiding behind a mask of cockiness, I smirked, "Do you really think he'll say no?"

Standing up, he glared down at me and spoke through harsh breaths, "You're too young…too young to settle down with one person and I know that he loves you but time changes shit and…"

Now I stood, toe to toe with him…though he towered over me but I held my ground, "Nothing will change the way we feel about each other. This is it. I'm the person your son will spend the rest of his life with. Now I've been quiet regarding you because I appreciate the great strides you have made in being a part of Jasper's life, but make no mistake, I have not forgotten how those scars on his back got there and if you do anything to take away his happiness or hurt him again, I will make sure you live the rest of your days regretting it. Now, I was not asking for your permission. I _will _ask him to marry me and he _will _say yes. That's just a fact and you can choose to be a part of our lives or not but know that if he has to make a choice, he will choose me, Wayne. I'm his forever and you're just lucky that he still allows you to be part of his life at all…"

We just both stood there, having, what Jasper would say, was a pissing contest. Finally, he pulled away with a huff and one last drag of his cigarette, "You got balls, son, I'll give you that…why did you even wanna talk to me about this shit…"

I pulled back and ran a hand through my hair and taking a breath, "I didn't want to fight with you, Wayne…I just wanted you to know how much I love your son…how I think he's the most incredible person I've ever known…and how I will spend every day of the rest of my life, only trying to make his life better. I will never hurt him or lie to him…I will only love him with everything I have to give for as long as I live…I want to marry him because I can't imagine a life worth living without him. I'll make him happy, Wayne, and I'll keep him that way forever. I was just hoping that he'd have at least one parent in his corner because as much as I hope that Linda will continue her relationship with him now that she's in the halfway house…my faith that it will happen, wavers greatly. You've been consistent these past few years and I would like to keep it that way. Whatever prejudices you have against our relationship needs to be dealt with because he needs at least one strong parent in his life who will love him unconditionally."

Wayne's face softened as he sat back down on the chair, "I do love him…and I know I ain't exactly been all for you two but…I guess you're plenty strong enough to survive bein' one of us, kid, so…"

He held out his hand and grinned, revealing deep dimples in his stubbly cheeks, "Welcome to the family, son."

All the air rushed from my body as I took his hand and gave it a firm shake.

I managed a breathless, "Thanks, Wayne."

He shrugged just as Jasper pulled open the door and looked at us questioningly, "Everythin' okay?"

Wayne laughed as he stood up and walked past Jasper mumbling, "Balls of steel…"

I smiled, "Yes. Everything's wonderful, Jay."

So with everything else said and done, the only thing left was to ask him to marry me. I had already told my dad my plan so he just smiled as I hurried out the door well past midnight.

"See you tomorrow, son."

I hopped in my Volvo and blushed as I looked at the passenger's seat…remembering our first time together…and our hundreds of other times as well.

Pulling down the long snowy drive, the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. I briefly wondered if I should've put more effort into this…like maybe I should've made a grand declaration or something…but really…I think we've had enough of over the top for awhile and thought that simple would be the best route to take.

I shoved the ring box in my coat pocket as I pulled on my Santa hat and hopped out of the car. I walked over to his bedroom window, hoping that the crunch of the snow underneath my boots wouldn't give me away. I took a peek inside and saw my Love come through his bedroom door, wet and wearing only a towel.

So, I won't lie…I watched as he pulled it off and grabbed a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I was glad he wasn't asleep yet. Once he was dressed, he sat on his bed and leaned over to his nightstand drawer…I figured he was getting ready for a little self-love and as much as I wanted to stay and perv on him for awhile…I had things to take care of.

One more deep breath and I softly knocked on his bedroom window. His blue eyes snapped up to mine and went wide before a gorgeous dimpled grin graced his face. Jumping from the bed, he quickly opened the window and jumped back as the cold hit his freshly showered body.

I easily climbed in and shut the window back before turning to him with his favorite crooked grin, "Merry Christmas, Jay. Have you been naughty or nice?"

He laughed as he walked over and locked his door, "Hmm…well, Santa, I like to think I'm a little of both but I think I've been a little more nice than naughty this year…"

Walking over, he grinned down at me, "What're you doin' here, Eddie?"

I could feel my cheeks heating already but I pushed the anxiety down and smiled, "Um…well, I come bearing gifts, Jay."

His arms slid around my waist as he pulled me close, even though I could feel his skin break into goosebumps from the chill that still emanated off me, "Well now, darlin', what was so important that it couldn't wait till Christmas morning?"

Looking down at the ground, I fought to keep my breaths even and then I felt his calloused fingertips slide along my cheek, down to my chin to lift my eyes to the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever known.

I could do this.

I pulled away gently and smiled as I took off my hat, gloves, and coat. But I held the box in my hand as I went down on one knee and looked up at him.

The smile was now replaced with a look of complete shock as I reached out and took his hand in mine.

"Um…I probably should've planned this more but you're really more of the planner of the two of us…um…I love you, Jay…I've loved you for such a long time that I can't imagine my life without you…I'm not as cool as you or as smooth but I figured that really didn't matter in this case because…you love me this way. And I've been thinking a lot about our future too…and I just don't see the point in waiting…you're _it _for me…always have been so I just thought…fuck it, let's get married this summer before we move to Seattle."

_I really should've prepared a proposal instead of just winging it…I cannot believe I just said, 'Fuck it, let's get married.' _

My whole body was on fire now as he just looked down at me, no smile, still in complete shock.

Shit.

But then he held his fist out for me and grinned, "Fuck it, babe…let's get married."

I bumped it and he grabbed it as he yanked me to my feet and pulled me into a hug. My face hurt from smiling so hard, "Really?"

He laughed as he held me tighter, "Fuck yeah, baby boy…besides, you totally saved my ass cuz I was plannin' on askin' you tomorrow after Christmas dinner and I was sure I was gonna fuck it all up…"

Now I pulled back and looked into his sparkling blue eyes, "You were?"

I watched as his cheeks tinted pink a bit as he smiled, "Yeah…I've been savin' up for like, six months, that's why I've been workin' so much but I finally got your ring paid for today…"

He pulled away and went to his nightstand dresser, pulling out a small box and opening it. I was speechless.

It was beautiful. White gold band with the same diamond baguettes from my grandfather's ring, only this one had small emeralds in it.

He blushed harder, "Um…Brady and Jeremiah helped me pick it out…I thought the white gold would look good with your porcelain skin and the emeralds reminded me of your eyes…you've got the prettiest damn eyes I've ever seen…I know it probably ain't as nice as the one you got me but I promise, I'll get you something better for like, our ten year anniversary or some sh…"

But he was cut off by my lips smashing to his as I mumbled, "It's perfect…you're perfect…I love you, Jay…"

I was met with an equally as hungry kiss as he mumbled against my lips, "I love you so god damn much, Eddie…"

That familiar fire burned hot as shared our declarations of love while stripping each other bare. I pulled him with me underneath the blanket and his lips never left mine as he made love to me.

And in those few blissful minutes before sleep would inevitably take me…I thought about my life and how it had seemed to come full circle.

I was a whole person now…I was no longer the lost, scared boy that hid from the world but I was a man that loved and was loved by many people.

I didn't know what to expect in the future because one thing I have learned is that life can surprise you…but I knew that whatever happened, good or bad, I wasn't in it alone.

I had faith in who I was and who I loved…I had hope that our lives would be beautiful, even through the darkest times…and I had more love in my heart than I ever dreamed possible.

And now these three remained a constant in my life.

Faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love.

**A/N : Whew, that was tough. I hope you guys liked it and are not disappointed. There is one chapter left…the wedding! And I still haven't found the perfect song yet so feel free to give me suggestions if you know of any songs that remind you of our boys. Thank you so so much for reading! Also, I'm still planning a sequel and am taking suggestions for outtakes so let me know what you wanna see cuz I know some of you are mentally kicking my ass right now for skipping over that last sex scene. Trust me, you will get their wedding night in all the kinky details you've come to know and love. Thanks, guys. **

**Oh and Eddie's French translation, "Hello Pierre, you missed me, huh? You're ready for me again, aren't you, Soldier?"**


	52. Epilogue

**Thank you all for so many song recs! I found a few new favorites and some I'm gonna use in the sequel. I was also introduced to Sean Hayes which I now love. Many of them really helped put me in the wedding mood!**

**Songs that put me in the wedding mood are listed on my you tube on the play list entitled, "Lessons Learned The Wedding."**

**Songs for the actual wedding: When We Fall In by Sean Hayes, Arabesque 1 by Debussy**

**First Dance: Tangled Up In You by Staind**

**Limo ride : Rapture by IIO (I put an awesome video of this on my you tube Wedding Chapter play list from the movie Latter Days. My friend Maria recommended it and really, it's such a beautiful love story so I highly recommend it to you.) **

**Jay's POV**

Isn't life just fuckin' crazy sometimes?

Only a week ago I had been stressin' myself half to death on how to propose to Edward. Nothin' just seemed big enough or special enough…I mean, I bragged about how good I am at this romantic shit but I was comin' up with nothin' good enough for my boy.

Our lives have been so damn dramatic and our love story was kinda crazy so I didn't know how to top that shit.

And then I kinda wondered if Eddie poppin' up at my window tonight meant that Carlisle had said something to him…cuz it was only a couple days ago that I had a little bit of a meltdown in front of him…

_I was workin' and he brought in his car to get the oil changed. So I put his car on the lift and was underneath it, drainin' the oil when he sighed, "Son, have you noticed that something seems to be bothering Edward lately?"_

_I cringed a little cuz I knew exactly why he was a little off, "He's waitin' on me to ask him to marry me…"_

_He smiled softly as he rocked on his heels, "Oh, I see…"_

_He had already known that I was planning on asking Eddie to marry me cuz when I went to go pick up Jeremiah and JJ to go ring shopping with me and Brady, I pulled him to the side and just said it straight out, "Carlisle, I'm gonna ask Eddie to marry me after we graduate this year. And you know me, so I don't think I need to stand here and tell you how I feel about your son…I know we're young and it's kinda crazy to get married so young but it seems to me like 'crazy' suits me and Eddie just fine. So, I'm really hopin' that you'll just give me your blessin' then maybe give me a hug cuz I'm freakin' out just a little bit…"_

_So he pulled me into a hug, gave me his blessing, and told me he loved me._

_Carlisle had this way about him that caused me to just say exactly what I was thinking and that's what happened again in the garage …_

"_Yeah and he's stressed cuz I haven't asked him yet and I really wanna, you know, but it's like I can't think of the perfect thing to say or do cuz we've been through so much together that nothin' seems big enough…it's been drivin' me crazy with workin' and AP Calc and football and tryin' to come up with some super romantic way to ask him and…"_

_I took a much needed big breath and slowly exhaled, "I just wish he'd ask me…I mean, in the beginning I was probably more dominant than Edward in our relationship but we're like partners now, ya know? Edward's plenty brave enough to ask me…the boy's never had a problem askin' me anything, even if it's weird or awkward. I just think if he did it, he wouldn't overanalyze the shit outta it like I do…he'd just do it. I'm sorry for ramblin'…I'm sure I'll feel better once it's done and I ain't…I __**don't **__have to stress about it anymore…"_

_I had been workin' on was the way I talked. There wasn't much I could do about the accent because it had definitely gotten thicker since my stay in Texas and since Suzie and Jeremiah were around me all the time, but I could control the way I spoke as far as vocabulary and stuff…I might be just a good ole' boy but I wasn't uneducated so I needed to work on the way I spoke…especially since I wanted to be doctor._

_Not a doctor like Carlisle though, I wanted to be a children's psychologist because I think it's somethin' I could be really good at and I wanna help kids. _

_Adam said that I wouldn't have to work in a private practice, like he did, but that I could work with places like the hospital Edward was at or juvenile detention centers and Mission's and shelters or for the state…_

_Carlisle smiled and walked over, placing his hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze, "Son, do you really think it matters to Edward where or how you ask him? The boy is so in love with you…and you with him and that's all that matters. Now quit worrying so much, these things always manage to work themselves out…"_

I stared at the beautiful sleeping boy in my arms and smiled because Carlisle was right…shit always seemed to work out one way or the other, maybe not exactly the way we planned it but our lives had come together nicely.

Bad things still happened, of course, but our relationship was kinda like an anchor, keeping us strong enough to endure whatever storm blew violently around us.

Me and Eddie were solid. I was absolutely positive about that.

My phone chirped on the nightstand, and carefully I reached out and grabbed it.

_Pretty boy sleepin yet? _

It was from Jeremiah. I chuckled and sent a quick message back.

**Yep, I got mad skills yo! **

Then I noticed the ring box Eddie had sitting on the nightstand and I grabbed it too, realizing in all the excitement, I hadn't even looked at it yet cuz the boy jumped me as soon as he saw mine.

Carefully opening the box, my eyes went wide when I looked at the ring inside. It was almost exactly like the one I picked out except it was gold and had sapphires in it instead of emeralds.

For a moment, I just thought it was fate…until my phone chirped again.

_I'm real happy for you, Cuz…_

**Thanks, man…and how did you know?**

_Carlisle told me this morning when I dropped off JJ before work…_

**And the ring that you kept telling me was the perfect one?**

_LOL, you caught me. Carlisle called me aside right before we went ring shopping and showed me his daddy's wedding ring…said he was gonna give it to Eddie to give to you…_

Maybe things always seemed to work out cuz we always had a whole family of mother fuckers pushin' and pullin' for us.

I smiled as I typed the next message…

**Thanks, man…good lookin out…**

The fact that the ring belonged to Carlisle's dad and I knew how much he respected and loved his daddy…it made it feel even more special.

_Anytime, Cuz…see ya tomorrow at dinner!_

Jeremiah had moved out of the Cullen's house into a little rental house on the same street me and mama used to stay. He wanted to have Christmas dinner at his house to re-pay them for all they done for him and JJ.

I thought it was really cool of him and I have to admit, Jeremiah had really shocked me how domesticated he was becoming. He hadn't dated anybody since he showed up with JJ, he was just throwing himself head first into being the best daddy he could be and getting his life together. He spent a lot of time on his weekends usually with Emmett and Rose so the boys could play. JJ and Em J were inseparable and JJ felt it was his job, since he was two, to teach everything he knew to little Em J, who was a year younger than him.

I have to admit, there were plenty of times that Edward and I would babysit the boys and I would kinda pretend that they were ours…I think we'd be really good parents…a long, long time from now.

The great thing about nephews, you can send them home when they start actin' up.

But really, the boys were awesome and I loved hangin' out with them.

And tonight I was gonna allow myself to dream freely of a future with my boy and two or three kids and a dog and a house out in the country…all that stuff I used to tell myself not to dream cuz I was movin' too fast, suddenly seemed a hell of a lot closer...

"Jay? Baby, less thinky more sleepy…"

He smiled against my chest and looked up at me with pretty, tired green eyes, "Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day…"

I smiled back and whispered, "How did you know what I was thinkin'?"

Chuckling as his soft velvet fingertips began tracing a heart over my heart, "I know you better than I know myself, Jay."

Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I snuggled into my pillow and sighed with a goofy grin on my face, "Let's pick a date. How 'bout our anniversary?"

He grinned back, "Okay, July 5th…now we have a big day tomorrow with Christmas and telling everyone…you do want to tell everyone, right?"

I knew I was smiling like a dopey love crazy fool right now but I guess that's exactly what I was, "Hell yeah, you know Ali and Brady are gonna wanna plan the wedding and your mama's gonna wanna be in on it too and then, oh we need to plan a bachelor party or maybe Em or Jeremiah will do that…"

He raised up from my chest and laughed, "Wow, you're really wired right now. Come here, Love…I know how to put you right to sleep…"

Pulling me into his arms, I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat as he started running his fingers through my hair.

I fuckin' loved when he did that and it did always put me to sleep.

It wasn't much later when my eyes grew heavy as I mumbled, "Who said that thing 'bout the river?"

I barely heard his light chuckle as I drifted off to sleep, "Pooh bear, babe. Night, Jay. Love you."

The next day, we told everyone as soon as we got to Jeremiah's house because we couldn't stand to wait until after dinner.

Of course, they all already knew but they were excited anyway. Brady and Alice already had ideas and Esme was happier than I think I'd ever seen her. My dad hadn't said much so when he stepped outside for a smoke, I went with him. I didn't need his approval or anything…but I guess part of me kinda wanted it.

"You haven't said much, dad…are you gonna come to my wedding?"

Blowing out a puff of smoke, he smiled at me, "I'll be there, son."

That helped ease the tension a little bit so I smiled back, "Yeah? So you're okay with everythin' then?"

Laughing, he raised an eyebrow, "Would it matter if I weren't?"

Chuckling a little in response, I took a draw from my cigarette and shook my head, "Not really…I mean, it wouldn't stop me from marrying him or anything…but I kinda hoped you'd be okay with it…"

His face grew serious for a moment and then he sighed, "I ain't gonna pretend like I understand all this…I mean, bein' here is like bein' in a whole 'nother world…you've got the one little boy that wears nothin' but black…the other little boy who wears rainbow nail polish and Suzie's blouses…and Suzie's datin' that Indian boy whose sister's a lesbian and datin' that other lesbian that Ali used to date, which would make her a lesbian too, only it seems she's here with her new boyfriend…and then there's Peter whose a good ole' boy like me, even grew up in a time worse than mine on this shit but he accepts it all so easily…and the boys, JJ and Em J, they're so smart and happy…growin' up 'round all these different things don't seem to be hurtin' them none…I mean, yeah I don't understand it but that don't make it a bad thing…in fact, outta everyone I've ever known, I'd say that you and Ed have a damn good chance of makin' it…whatever the hell this is, ya'll all seem to make it work so you got my blessin', son."

I couldn't help but smile now and I reached over and gave his shoulder a squeeze, "Thanks, daddy."

He patted my hand and smiled back.

So it was kinda awesome to know that I had one of my parents backing me up. It was a surprise that it was my dad cuz I never woulda pegged him for bein' the one that stuck around…I never thought he'd actually keep up on meetin' me for dinner and comin' up at Christmas or stoppin' in on some of my football games…

But I reckon people can always surprise you.

Now, mama, on the other hand, I still wasn't so sure about. Yeah, we had been writin' a lot and talkin' on the phone a couple times a month but now that she was out and livin' in a half way house, I had my doubts…but I was still hopeful.

So, later on that evening' when my phone rang and it was her, I was curious to hear her reaction.

I accepted the charges since it was a collect call and took a deep breath, "Hey mama, Merry Christmas."

"Hey baby, Merry Christmas to you too. Did you have a good one?"

"Yeah, actually it was great. Eddie asked me to marry him this summer 'fore we go off to school…"

There was a long pause before she laughed, "No shit? That's great, baby boy. When's the weddin' cuz I can come if it's after June 30th, that's my last day here…"

I let out a sigh of relief and we talked for a little while about the wedding and once again, I was surprised.

But that didn't last long…

"Oh honey, can I bring my boyfriend to the weddin'?"

"Mama, you're not supposed to be datin' while you're in that house, you're supposed to be workin' on gettin' your shit together…"

"Jasper, I'm a grown woman and if I wanna man, I can have one…he ain't like the others…"

I hoped she heard my eye roll, "Oh yeah? What's he do for a livin'?"

I could hear her grunt and knew the face she was makin' right now, "He's in between jobs right now…just cuz everythin's perfect for you don't mean that the rest of us ain't got real life problems, son…"

Huffing, I tried to keep my emotions under control as I spoke through clenched teeth, "Yeah mama, that's the point…you got enough problems on your own, you don't need to take on anyone else's shit…you need to stand on your own…if Jeremiah's smart enough to figure this shit out, why can't you?"

"Don't talk to me like I ain't the grown up here, Jasper…you're still the kid…"

"Oh yeah? Who's payin' for this call right now, mama? Who's paid for all of them? How many times did **you **pick **me **up off the floor when I was so god damn wasted I couldn't even walk? Or how many times did **you **have to walk home from school cuz **I **forgot to pick you up? Don't tell me I'm the kid in this relationship, mama…"

"Jasper, I'm really tryin' here to be a good mama, I'm tryin to support you and your decisions, I know I ain't perfect but you ain't gotta rip me to shreds…"

"I'm not tryin' to rip you apart, mama, I'm just tryin' to get you to listen…you don't need a man right now…it's not good for you, you're co-dependant and you easily fall into any lifestyle whatever lowlife you're with is in…you need to learn how to be just you, mama…not you with some man cuz that ain't ever the real you…you're one of the toughest women I've ever known…why can't you be strong enough to stand on your own? You got me, mama…ain't I enough?"

It was quiet for a long minute until I finally heard a sniffle and a barely whispered, "Yeah, baby boy, you're enough…"

Now I felt bad, "Shit, mama, I didn't mean to make you cry…"

"No, it's okay, baby…you're right, it's just hard to hear sometimes…I ain't seen you in so long that I forget how much of a man you've become…18 years old, God where does the time go?"

She talked for just a minute more before makin' up an excuse to get off the phone. Like I said, I was hopeful with mama but I wasn't sold on her yet.

And it turns out, I was pretty smart cuz mama quit callin' me about a month before she was supposed to get out. Eventually, I broke down and called the halfway house and they told me she had been released early and took off with some man she had met in town. She left no forwarding information.

I wanted to think that she would show up for my wedding but again, I was a realist when it came to mama and knew she probably didn't know what month it was, let alone the day.

It hurt and I showed up at Eddie's window that night. He let me cry and rant and act like a fool before he eventually just held me till I fell asleep.

I snuck out the next mornin' but Carlisle caught me as I came around the side of the garage. I told him I was sorry for sneakin' in but it was late and I really needed to see Eddie…

He just smiled and said that Edward called him after I fell asleep and told him so he knew that I had stayed the night. Then he asked me how many times I had snuck in and out of his son's bedroom window and my face turned bright red as I just smiled, "Does it really matter now?"

He seemed to think it did so I was forced to wash his cars as punishment…but then he let me take Eddie out for a spin on the Ducati so it was all good.

Now graduation was kinda crazy…the principal sat down with Eddie, offering him the role of valedictorian but he said he just told him that he appreciated the offer but didn't really have anything good to say to most the people in that school.

So then he called the next in line…me.

I sat in his office with a grin and a chuckle, "I appreciate the offer, sir, but I gotta agree with Eddie on this one…unless you want an inspirational speech about how they can all go fuck themselves, I'd suggest you move on down the line…"

I already had all my final grades and all my credits so I didn't really care. And I already gotta partial scholarship to the University of Washington. I also got a bunch of grants and shit cuz my parents were ghetto as fuck so that was cool.

I was gonna use the money my granny left me, to pay for me and Eddie's apartment for a year so we wouldn't have to stress too bad when we started school. And I was goin' to put the rest up for when we graduated and were ready to buy a house…out in the country, preferably.

The wedding was finally all comin' together and I was gettin' more and more excited every day that passed by. Now after doin' some research, we found out that we couldn't have an actual "marriage" in the state of Washington. They had something called "Everything But Marriage", essentially we'd have the same rights and responsibilities but can't label it as "marriage"…which is dumb as fuck if you ask me but they never seem to consult me on this shit.

Anyway, we were better off here than a lot of states because they at least recognize our partnership. We'd have to legally change our names and after sittin' down and talkin' about it…we decided to use both our names and go by Cullen-Whitlock.

There was a time when I would've just taken his name but I kinda liked who I was now and I was proud to be a Whitlock…and now I'd be a Cullen too.

We decided to have the wedding in Charlotte's garden. It was actually Peter's suggestion. We were sittin' on the back porch after dinner one night talkin' about it when he said, "Why don't you have the weddin' here? In Charlotte's garden. I'm sure the girls and Brady can fix everythin' up real pretty and I think she would've liked it…she woulda loved to seen you two boys gettin' hitched and how much everyone's grown…she woulda loved them two babies, that's for sure…"

The pain of losing Charlotte was still tangible, even after these last few years, it hadn't dulled a bit. Peter loved us all and he would spend all his days playin' with EmJ and JJ or showin' Suzie how to play the fiddle or teachin' Brady how to two-step…but he would spend every mornin' and every night on that porch, watchin' Charlotte's garden. He said he could still smell her every time the wind blew…still hear her laugh when the birds would sing or the crickets would chirp…he said that he still woke up to her every mornin' and she was always the last thing he felt every night.

I prayed that I'd never have to face life without Eddie…loving someone as much as I loved him was wonderful but it was also scary as fuck because the thought of having to live and breathe without him…that shit's terrifying.

But I wouldn't dwell on bad shit and stuff I couldn't do anything about anyway…I would just spend the rest of my days on this earth, lovin' my baby boy with everything I had…and if he was right about Heaven…then I'd love him there too.

After much debate on wedding colors (from Brady and Alice, not me and Eddie) we decided to keep it simple. We'd both wear suits, mine was a dark charcoal gray with a silk baby blue tie and vest, and Eddie's was a black suit with an emerald green vest and tie, to match our rings…and our eyes. All the flowers in Charlotte's garden would provide all the color we needed…blue, green, red, purple, yellow, white, orange, pink…and I think that suited all of us, cuz we were quite the colorful bunch…and Brady was excited cuz it held all the colors of the rainbow.

I called Bobbi-Sue and invited her to the wedding and asked her to bring that old kitchen table, if she could. Daddy offered to pick her up on his way and haul it in his truck. They hadn't seen each other in a whole lot of years so she accepted.

Once Eddie had told Brady about that table and all the angels I had drawn underneath it as a kid…he just insisted that we use that for our guests to sign instead of a traditional guest book, they could all sign underneath one of my Crayola angels.

I thought that was a pretty cool idea.

The wedding really wasn't gonna be that big…just family and a few friends. Bella, Angela, and Ben had said they'd come. Jake said he'd try. Even Seth was still gonna come along with Leah and Jane. Edward's aunts and uncles on Esme's sides were supposed to come. My cousin, Brandon, was out of prison and living with my dad until he could get on his feet. He actually said he wanted to come but couldn't leave the state since he was still on parole. But I thought it was really cool that he seemed okay with me. And what surprised me most was when I ran into Tanya Denali at the drug store and she asked if she could come.

I was skeptical, "Why?"

She smiled a sad smile, "I never hated you guys for what happened, that was all Maria…and I guess I just went along because sometimes it's easier…but I really cared a lot about Edward. He was always so sweet to me. He kinda broke my heart but I was really just a lovesick teenage girl who would've fallen for anyone who was as nice to me as he was. I've seen him around some these last couple years and he seems so…happy. You make him really happy, Jasper, and I just wanted to tell him that I'm sorry for not standing up for him back then…you too, you were always nice to me…well not always but I guess that was to be expected since you were in love with him too."

I smiled a genuine smile at her, "Thanks, Tanya. I don't care if you come, just don't bring Maria."

Laughing, she tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder, "Oh that won't be a problem. She's living with some guy in California, last I heard. I'm a Junior at the University of Oregon…I'm just here for the summer actually…"

We talked a few minutes more and I gave her the information so she could come. When I told Eddie, he was a little worried that she'd go psycho and try to kill me before I said 'I do', but I assured him that she had grown up a lot these last few years and it would be okay.

Doc Adam and his husband, Jonathan, were coming. He had been a huge help in me figuring out what I wanted to do after school. Me and Edward actually had dinner a few times with him and Jonathan, and they had both become good friends. And a couple times, Esme and Carlisle joined us too. It was kinda cool to hang out with the grown ups…but me and Eddie usually played footsie underneath the table, so we could hold onto our playful adolescence just a little while longer.

But since it wouldn't be a ton of people, Jeremiah offered to cook and Rose and Esme were gonna help. He really liked cookin' and had to come clean on his obsession when I was lookin' through his TiVo and found, like, ten shows from the Food Network were recorded. He said that he could experiment since he was just cookin' for him and JJ and JJ would eat anything. But cookin' for our wedding would give him a chance to try somethin' fancy…

I snickered.

He told me to fuck off.

Then I thanked him and told him I thought it was really cool of him to wanna help.

Then he asked if he could make the cake too cuz he had an episode taped of nothin' but wedding cakes…

So I asked him if he was sure he wasn't gay…

And he told me to fuck off again.

I loved having Jeremiah around and would miss seein' him damn near every day when we moved to Seattle.

But I knew we'd come down to Forks a lot to visit, since he, Suzie, Peter, and the Cullen's would still be here.

Suzie was sure she could take care of Peter and Jeremiah and Carlisle were also close by should he need anything. Seth and Suzie broke up at the end of the year before he left for school in California but it was on good terms and they promised to stay friends.

Brady had graduated with us and was going to the University of Washington as well. He had luckily gotten almost enough money in grants to pay for it so his student loans wouldn't kill him.

Alice decided it was time for her to move out of Em and Rose's apartment and into her own, so she and Brady were planning on getting one in the same building, so they'd still be close.

Emmett had been runnin' himself ragged between workin' and school but Joe had been really proud of how he and Rosalie were managing so he assured them that he'd still help cover the bills until Em graduated.

Em was majoring in Business, Alice was in Design, Brady was planning on being an art major, and even Suzie had decided she wanted to be a Vet…so the only person who hadn't made any solid plans yet about what they wanted to do for a living, was my baby boy.

So when we were sittin' in my old truck on the night of graduation in his driveway, I smiled, "Hey babe? Any idea on what you wanna do…ya know, as a career?"

He just smirked for a moment and said, "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to um…sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or um…repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

I laughed as he quoted the famous Lloyd Dobbler, which strangely enough, he kinda reminded me of sometimes…and he knew that Say Anything was one of my favorite movies of all time.

I'm a sucker for a good love story.

Then he just shrugged, "I don't really know yet, Jay. I know that I don't want a career with insane hours or where I have to wear a suit every day…I don't want to sit in an office and be bound to a desk…I've been trapped in a single room long enough to last me a lifetime…I just want to do something where I can be free…I don't know, maybe something with photography because I love taking pictures…"

That was true, the boy was constantly snapping pictures and our memory book that I had given him all those years ago, had required several new pages to hold everything.

"Or maybe writing…I showed one of my journals to Dr. Cohen and she said that I have real potential. I'm not sure yet, Jay, but when I know, you'll know."

I pulled him close and he snuggled into me.

"You'd be great at either of those things, Eddie. But there is no rush, baby, I'm sure you'll figure it all out..."

He smiled as he looked up at me, "And since you're going to be a doctor, you'll totally support me through my "finding myself" phase, right? Because I don't know how much money I'll make…it may not be much."

I grinned and winked, "I'll be your sugar daddy, baby."

Laughing, he pulled me close and chuckled, "Well give me some sugar then, daddy."

Not gonna lie, my cock totally twitched when he called me daddy.

After graduation, everything just seemed like a whirlwind as we finished planning the wedding and getting everything for school settled…and we found an apartment. It was just a few blocks from everyone else and within walking distance to school.

We planned on moving directly into it after we got back from our honeymoon. And when Eddie and me paid for our first place together…the very first thing we did was lock the door and fuck on the bare carpet floor.

Having our own place was gonna be awesome.

Carlisle and Esme had said that they would take care of moving our furniture while we were gone…well, it wasn't really **our **furniture but they gave us their living room furniture, including that fuck awesome recliner, and Eddie's bedroom stuff. Esme used the excuse that she really wanted to redecorate the living room and even after all these years, Eddie's bed was still the most comfortable bed I had ever laid on…so we were both pretty psyched.

I still wasn't sure where we were goin' for a honeymoon but I knew we were gonna be gone three weeks…so whatever Carlisle and Esme planned, it must be pretty damn epic.

And when we get back from our mystery honeymoon, we'll have a couple weeks to settle in before school starts.

A few days before the weddin', the guys had us a bachelor party and Edward finally got his revenge on Emmett for the whole pink light saber debacle. That was the craziest damn night I think I ever had…

But that's a story for another time.

By the time the night before the wedding came, I was a bundle of nervous energy. I couldn't help but be so fuckin' excited about marryin' my boy and startin' the rest of our lives together…

But it was also kinda bittersweet cuz there would be some things I'd really miss when we moved on…like sittin' on the front porch with Peter and drinkin' coffee in the mornin'…and the look on a quarterback's face when he realized it was the queer boy who sacked him so damn hard his helmet came off…and sneakin' into Eddie's window cuz there was somethin' kinda hot about gettin' caught.

So I figured I'd sneak up there just one more time cuz I hadn't broken Carlisle's 'no sex in the house' rule, and I respect the man more than anything, but I'm breakin' that shit tonight…I am still a Whitlock, after all.

I picked a single red rose from Charlotte's garden before takin' off to Eddie's house. Parking down the street, I couldn't help but smile as I walked up the side of the driveway and 'round to the back of the house…I took the opportunity to breathe in the crisp night air and listen to the crickets chirp.

And then I started up that old tree…just like many a night before.

Once I reached his window, I kinda melted when I saw him. He was sittin' in the middle of his bed, in a pair of my old sweats and Lynyrd Skynryd t-shirt. Our memory book was laid out before him and he had the most beautiful smile on his face…

I took a deep breath and tried to shake the stars from my eyes before softly knocking on his window.

He jumped but then looked over and if it was possible, he grinned even bigger before jumping off his bed and running to the window.

Throwing it open, his cheeks became flushed as he whispered excitedly, "Hey Jay."

I smiled and whispered back, "Hey Eddie."

Then I pulled out the red rose and he blushed even deeper as I looked into his eyes and spoke in a hushed whisper, "Did you know that the red rose symbolizes a deep love and respect…passion and devotion…"

Reaching out, his long slender fingers slid over mine and wrapped around the stem, "Yeah actually this really hot guy told me that once right before he took me on my very first date…"

Smirking, I let him take the rose while I snaked my arm around his waist and pulled him closer, "Oh yeah? Sounds like a smart guy…you better marry that boy."

He grinned as he leaned into my ear and whispered, "Oh he is a smart boy, in fact, he's going to be a doctor…and I certainly intend on marrying that boy in just a few short hours from now…"

My body shuddered from his breath on my ear and he laughed softly before pulling away, "Get in here, Jay, before I lull you into a sex induced stupor and you fall from that tree…because a broken leg will not excuse you from showing up tomorrow…"

I laughed now as I hopped in through the window, "Baby boy, there ain't a thang on this earth that would keep me from marryin' you…"

He gave me a cocky grin, "Yeah I know…" Then he turned and I swear the fucker sashayed across the room to his bedroom door. Raising an eyebrow and smirking seductively at me, he turned the lock and just like that, we were 15 again…this shit was on.

We met in the middle of the room, our bodies becoming entangled immediately as my hands went to his ass and his went to my hair, our lips and tongues drinking each other in.

I mumbled a quick, "I'm fuckin' you tonight…"

And he responded with a soft grunt.

Stumbling around the room as we yanked off t-shirts and my shoes got tossed somewhere before his sweats and my jeans went flying…finally, we tumbled to the bed, naked and hard and just fuckin' desperate…

Somehow, we managed to eventually work our way underneath the blanket…but we were already a sweaty, panting, shivering mess and I couldn't wait any longer…

Reaching blindly for his nightstand drawer, so I wouldn't have to pull my lips from his, I felt around until I found the familiar bottle of lube.

I pulled it back underneath the blanket and quickly coated my fingers before pressing one…then two inside him. He gasped and broke from the kiss with a low moan as I tickled his magic spot.

I smiled and whispered a breathless, "Shh, baby…we gotta keep quiet…"

Nodding, his arms wrapped around me tighter and pulled my lips to his again as he mumbled, "Kiss me…so I don't…scream…"

So I did just that as I got that sweet little ass ready for me…but truth be known, that sweet little ass was always ready for me.

We had sex usually at least once a week, sometimes more so I didn't have to prep him as much as I used to but I still liked to take my time with him.

I kept slowly grinding my hard cock against his as I finger fucked him and he reached down and took both of our heavy cocks in his hand and began stroking them.

Now I broke from the kiss with a, "Oh fuck that feels good, Eddie…"

He smiled as he panted, "Quiet, Love…mom and dad downstairs…"

I may have growled just a little bit before taking his lips again to keep me from screamin'…

When I couldn't take any more, I eased my fingers out and sat back on my knees before taking the lube and coating my cock and his ass.

He laid there, beautifully flushed and stroking his pretty cock as his legs spread wide open for me.

There has never been a thing more beautiful than my boy, ready to take my cock deep inside that tight, sweet ass of his…

I leaned back down over him, one hand on the mattress beside his head as my other one held my dick at his entrance. In one slow steady push, I buried myself balls deep inside that perfect ass and then held still a moment for him to adjust…cuz it didn't matter how many times I dicked him down…I was still rockin' a solid nine inches and that shit ain't easy to take…I know, cuz Eddie's rockin a good eight and a half…

Yes, we measured.

He held onto my forearms and I kept my weight off him for a minute while he drew in deep breaths to keep from screamin' out…then he started moving against me and I dropped back down to his lips again as I began slowly moving in and out of him with long deep thrusts…just a little to the left…

I swallowed his scream as my dick went straight to his magic spot like a heat seeking missile. I swear, I could fuck this boy in my sleep and still know exactly where to hit to make him see stars.

My hands slid into his as I held them down by his head, and fucked him hard but slow…that was my favorite. And I rarely got the chance to really fuck Edward for hours anymore like I did when we first started…but that all changed tomorrow.

That thought alone brought me close to cumming so I let go of his hands and slid one of mine down to his ass and squeezed as I rolled us over so he'd be on top.

He didn't break the kiss as he took over and I bent my knees and planted my feet onto the bed so I could meet his thrusts and fuck him back. That change in position would hold me off for a little longer…but then he broke from the kiss with a soft breathy moan and leaned back on one hand while his other wrapped around his cock.

_Holy shit…_

There was no way I was gonna hold off much longer now…Edward had always been a beautiful boy…but now…he was a fuckin' gorgeous man…

I watched his stomach muscles tighten and I gripped his hips hard as the lines and creases of his chest glistened with a light sheen of sweat…

The moonlight poured in from the window and illuminated his pale skin and that only brought out the red in his hair and the dark scarlet of his lips…the deep, rich green in his lust filled eyes did me in and I rasped out, "Fuckin cum for me, baby…"

My eyes rolled back and my toes curled as I came hard inside him, and it only intensified when I heard his soft gasp and felt warm thick ribbons shoot across my chest.

He collapsed on my chest, not giving a second thought to the sticky mess, shivering and shaking as he came down. I held on tight and started drawing circles on the small of his back as he whispered a shaky, breathless, "Love you, Jay…"

I whispered back an equally shaky, breathless, "Love you, Eddie…"

But he was already fast asleep, so I reached over and grabbed the baby wipes from his drawer…he claimed they were for when the boys were over but they were awesome to clean up jizz in a pinch.

We both had some in our vehicles too.

That's the last thing I remembered…until a soft knock on Edward's door woke me up and I heard Carlisle's voice, "Edward? Son, it's time to get up, today's the big day…"

Edward shuffled off top of me, "I'll, um…be down in a minute, dad…"

We quickly got out of bed and I grabbed my clothes dressin' as fast as I could while Eddie did the same…

"Oh, and Jasper, you might as well use the front door, son…"

Eddie and I both just stopped dead in our tracks and looked at each other. Then he just shrugged and giggled, "I don't know how the hell he does that…"

We got dressed and made our way downstairs. Carlisle was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper while Esme was pouring some coffee.

I could feel my cheeks heat up as I scratched at the back of my hair, "Uh…mornin'…"

Esme smiled and came over, giving me a kiss on the cheek, "Good morning, sweetheart."

Then she did the same to Edward and smiled, "Are you boys all packed and ready to go?"

We nodded and Edward whined a little, "Where are we going for our honeymoon, mom?"

She just laughed as she turned to go sit at the table with her husband, "You'll find out soon enough, dear. Now let's get to it, boys, there's a lot to do today."

I gave Eddie a quick kiss and smiled, "I'll see you in a few hours, babe."

"See you soon, Love."

I said my good byes and Carlisle snickered, "You boys are sooo lucky you're getting married today because I should be grounding you both for breaking my rule last night…but instead, I'm going to just walk you down to your truck, son, and have a little chat…"

I wasn't scared…he just wanted a cigarette.

So, we walked outside and started down the street to my truck as I handed him one, "Here you go, Carlisle…"

He smiled and took it as I handed him a light, "Thanks, son." Taking a deep drawl, he exhaled slowly, "Are you nervous about today?"

I took a drawl from my own square and shook my head, "Not really nervous…excited about it finally bein' here…"

Nodding in understanding, we stood there for a moment until he spoke again, "I want you to know how proud I am of you, Jasper. You've grown into an incredible man. Before you came into our lives, we all prayed for you every single night…Edward just wanted one real friend and Esme and I just wanted someone to realize how special and wonderful our son is…then you came along and changed our lives forever…"

Smiling a warm smile at me, he continued, "You saved our son, Jasper…and then you became our son…I had never met a boy quite like you before, all foul-mouthed and rough around the edges but just one look at the way you treated Edward was all I needed to know that you have a heart of gold. You reached him in ways that Esme and I never could…you opened him up to love and took away his fear…and the way you care for him just spreads itself out to those around you and wraps around them as well, tying us all together…you gave Esme and I the family we always dreamt about…Emmett, Rose, Brady, and Alice all gravitated towards you…you just have a draw to you, son…and now we have Em J and JJ and Suzie and Jeremiah…our family is big and complex and so full of love…you're going to be an incredible doctor, the way you touch people's hearts and souls…I love you, Jasper, and I'm so excited that today, you officially become ours as well Edward's…although, you've been ours since the moment you walked through that door…"

Now I was all teary eyed and shit as I threw down my cigarette and pulled him into a hug, "Thanks, Carlisle…and just so you know, I prayed for you guys too. You and Esme and Edward saved my life…I mean, I'm gonna be a fuck…freakin' doctor…I woulda never had the courage or thought I was smart enough to head down this road without you guys…if I'm as good as you say I am, it's only because you all didn't judge me as a loser like everyone else always did…it's because you made me wanna be good…all I ever wanted was a family and you guys gave that to me…"

I pulled away and we both wiped at our eyes and smiled sheepishly at each other before I sighed, "Carlisle, you're really somethin' special…the way you just take people in and help them…the way you love us all unconditionally and guide us down the right paths…you were the first real man I ever met…and I just hope I can be half as good as you cuz that's more than most people will ever be…Eddie used to think of me as Superman but I always kinda thought of you like that…so, thanks man…and I love you too, Big Daddy C."

And then he pulled me into another hug.

When he parted, he ran his fingers through his hair and smiled, "Well, we'll see you soon, son. Good luck today."

I smiled because I knew I didn't need luck…

I had faith.

I had faith that even if we tripped or forgot our vows or everythin' didn't go just right…it'd still be perfect because at the end of the day, I would be married to someone that I loved in a way I never even knew was possible.

I swear, I fuckin' whistled on the way home cuz I was that damn happy.

When I got there, it was already crazy with Brady, Suzie, and Alice runnin' around fixin' ribbons and flowers, gettin' chairs and tables ready. We were gonna have the ceremony in the garden and then the reception was just set up around the garden in the grass and under the trees.

Jeremiah was in the kitchen slicing fruit, Em J was in a highchair eating slices of watermelon and cantaloupe and JJ was sittin' on top of the kitchen table eating his fruit. I smiled and grabbed JJ up, swingin' him high in the air as he giggled and I laughed, "What did your daddy tell you, boy, bout gettin' outta your chair?"

He laughed hysterically as I held him upside down, "He said he was gonna tan my hyde…but my butt's already tan, Uncle Jay…"

I laughed as I pulled him upright and sat him on my hip, "Well that's cuz you won't keep your swimmin' shorts on in the baby pool, JJ…I think it's in your genes…"

He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted, "It's a big kids pool…"

I smiled and tugged on his puffy bottom lip, "I know, buddy…it's only a baby pool on the side that Em J sits in…"

That seemed to satisfy him but then I heard Em J, "Me, Jay…me…"

I turned and saw him with his chubby little arms raised and his hands opening and closing as he bounced and tried to get out of his chair.

"Uncle Jay's comin' little man, hold your horses…"

I had a sticky JJ on one hip as I undid Em J's seat with the other and pulled him into my other arm. He offered me a bit of his gummed up watermelon, "Nummy?"

I shook my head and laughed, "No thanks, buddy, you eat it…"

Then I looked at Jeremiah and sighed, "I can't believe they both suckered me into pickin' them up when they're sticky and gooey…"

He just raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Uh huh…I bet they ain't the only ones you dirty son of a gun…you're comin' back from Eddie's, huh? The night before the weddin'…have you no shame…"

Shaking his head in mock disappointment he turned back around and continued gettin' the food ready.

I took the boys into the living room and plopped down on the couch, "Uncle Jay's gettin' married today…"

JJ looked up at me with big blue eyes, "But I thought you and Uncle Eddie was already married like 15 years…"

I laughed and Em J looked around and shrugged his shoulders, "D, at, Jay?"

Smiling I shrugged back, "Eddie's not here right now…"

He started opening and closing his hands again, "D bye bye…"

"Yeah, Uncle Eddie's bye bye right now but he'll be here soon…"

Rosalie walked into the room with a red bikini top on and a towel wrapped around her waist, her blonde hair piled on top of her head in a loose ponytail, "Hey Jay, just coming home from Edward's house?"

I grinned, "Yup."

She smirked as Em J held out his hands to her and started squirming off my lap, "You're so bad."

She took Em J and laid him down on the floor to change his diaper and I just smiled, "Yeah, he digs that about me…"

Rolling her eyes, her smile gave her away, "You've been hanging around your cousin too long…"

Jeremiah walked in and JJ now squirmed outta my lap and ran to his daddy, "Hot damn, woman! You ever decide to get rid of that big bear of a husband you got, I'm your man…"

She just laughed and smirked up at him, still looking like a god damn beauty queen as she lathered Butt Paste on Em J, "Please, cowboy, you couldn't handle a woman like me…"

And then Em came walking into the room wearing only a pair of swim trunks…now he isn't exactly my type but you can't help but notice that he's one hot fucker.

He playfully slugs Jeremiah in the shoulder, "Quit hitting on my woman, asshole…"

Rosie looked up at him and scolded, "Language, Em!"

He smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, baby…"

Then when she turned her head, he hit him again and mouthed the word 'fucker' to him as they both laughed. This wasn't a new thing. Jeremiah often teased Em and Rose and they both just knew how he was and that he didn't mean anything by it…that's just…how he was.

And it was no secret that even though Jeremiah hadn't dated anyone since he moved here, he was not shy of options. He was always getting hit on…at the grocery store, at the park, at the gas station…he claimed it was because of JJ making him irresistible but the truth was, he's just a natural born flirt. He flirts with everybody. Hell, he even flirts with Eddie and Brady sometimes just cuz that's what he does. He doesn't mean any harm by it, it's just his nature.

JJ now ran over and put his arms around Rosie's shoulders while she sat on the floor with Em J, and buried his face in her neck, "You love me better than daddy _and _Uncle Em, right Aunt Rose?"

She wrapped her arms around his little body and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "I sure do, baby."

Then she picked both boys up and walked past Em and Jeremiah, "I'll be in the big kids pool with my boys."

I swear, JJ lifted his head from her shoulder and smirked at his dad and Uncle Em as she carried them out.

Jeremiah laughed, "See? He gets all the chicks…"

It was true. The boy was gonna be ten times worse than his daddy.

I finally made it into the shower and took my time, letting the hot water work out my muscles.

When I got out of the shower and made it to my room, Brady was there, sitting on my bed with his legs crossed and a very dark blush on his pretty caramel cheeks as he saw me with only a towel wrapped around my waist.

"What's up, Brady?"

He cocked his head to the side and smiled, "I wanted to catch you before you got dressed…"

I smirked, "I bet you did…"

His cheeks got even redder but he pursed his lips into a sassy little smirk, "While I would love to sit here and ogle you a little while longer…I am here on official wedding business. Now what underwear are you planning on wearing with your suit?"

Okay, now my cheeks were heating up a little, "Uh…I don't know…just a pair of boxers probably, why?"

Huffing dramatically, he stood from the bed, all graceful and shit with his hands on his hips, "This is your wedding day, Jasper. I think it calls for something special. Now I've leant my services to Edward and I do believe you have been thoroughly grateful for my involvement in his undergarment selection…so I thought you may want to extend your soon-to-be husband the same bit of gratitude and wear these…"

He grabbed a small bag on my bed and pulled out a pair of…what the hell are those? They're baby blue and some kind of meshy, see-through material…

I take the piece of material and look at it for a moment and I can feel my cheeks getting even redder now, "Uh, Brady? I don't think my dick will fit in these…"

He just smiled a cocky little smile, "Don't you remember the first time you saw Edward in those little tight black briefs? Don't you think he would like to see you in something so sexy on your wedding night? You'll never have this night again, Jay…"

Then he walked over and placed his hand on my shoulder as he looked off into the distance and sighed dramatically, "Picture this…you're in the limo on that long two hour drive to Seattle to the hotel and you're making out, hot and heavy with that beautiful bronze husband of yours…he unbuttons your shirt and loosens your tie as he kneels in between your open legs…placing soft wet kisses as each new piece of your exposed chest comes to view…slowly, he works his way down and long slender fingers are popping open the button on your dress pants as he looks up at you with lustful grass green eyes…so slowly, he begins to slide those pants down and you lift your hips to let him…and he's excited, Jay…his breath is coming out in shallow pants against your lower abdomen and you can feel the warmth from the gasp as he lays eyes on Pierre, hard and pulsing through the thin baby blue mesh…I'm talking about rapture, Jay…an overwhelming transcendent state of euphoria…"

Then he let out a big breath and a shaky laugh as he pulled his hand away and began fanning himself with it, "Whew…well, that little fantasy really got away from me there…"

Yeah, it sure as fuck did cuz I had to turn to hide the semi I was now sportin' beneath the towel.

I took a big breath and slowly exhaled, "Okay, point made, Brady…I'll wear them…"

He giggled and clapped, "Yay! You boys are going to have the best wedding ever! Okay, so I've still got like, a million things to do, but in one hour, I will be back to give you a manicure…"

I turned and saw the smaller boy giddy as he bounced to the door. I sat on my bed and took the underwear, "Hey Brady?"

He turned at the door and smiled sweetly, "Yes, Jasper?"

I smiled back, "Thanks, man. Thanks for puttin' so much into this wedding and making everything perfect…I appreciate it. You're a really good friend."

He beamed back as his cocoa eyes glistened, "You don't have to thank me, Jay. I just feel so honored to be included in this…it makes me feel special to be part of what you and Edward share…the way you love each other is just so…beautiful…"

Then he walked over and smiled down at me as he took my hand, "When I was a little boy, Leah used to let me borrow her Disney princess movies because my parents wouldn't buy them for me. I would imagine that true love and handsome prince's existed and that one day, I would find my own. But then I got older and lost all my friends…and I lost my parents way before they kicked me out…I didn't believe in any of it anymore…and then I met you and Edward. I'm not a young boy anymore and I know that no prince will ever come and sweep me off my feet…but thanks to you, I do know that true love does exist and if I open myself up to it, one day I'll find my soul mate. All of you, have shown me that true love is very real and I won't waste my time throwing myself around to men that are undeserving of me…I'm going to hold out for true love. So, thank you."

He gave my hand a squeeze as he leaned forward and kissed my hair, "Now, I must go and put the finishing touches on this fabulous wedding of yours…you just get dressed and look gorgeous and marry your true love today…that's all the thanks I need."

He started to walk away again and I called out, "Hey Brady?"

Once again, he turned and smiled, "Yes, Jasper?"

I smiled back, "I love you, man. And how did you know about Pierre?"

A gorgeous smirk graced his face, "Edward tells me _everything_, Jay…and I love you too."

Taking my sweet time, I got dressed in the dark pants and went out back for a smoke before I put the rest on. Peter was sittin' on the old porch swing watchin' everybody runnin' around the yard, getting everything ready.

He smiled, "Hey there, son. Everythin' sure is comin' together just fine, huh?"

I laughed as I pulled out a cigarette and sat down on the bench to the side of him, "Yeah, I think it's best to just stay outta Brady and Alice's way…"

Now he laughed, deep and rumbling, "I swear, I'm gonna have to take a nap 'fore the weddin' cuz watchin' them two run around here is wearin' me out…"

We sat for awhile and watched them before Peter finally did go in to take a nap. The hours were ticking down and before I knew it, it was only an hour till it began.

I was starting to get nervous when Jeremiah walked into the kitchen where I was sitting catching up with my dad and Bobbi Sue who had just gotten in, "Yo, Jay…Brandon sent ya somethin…"

He handed me a large envelope and I quickly tore it open to find a drawing. I'll admit, I lost my breath for a moment because it was amazing.

It was of me, him, Jeremiah, Ethan, Caleb, and Suzie when we were little. It was drawn from a picture I remembered being taken when I was eight. Me, Jeremiah, and Brandon had our arms slung around each other's shoulders as we grinned with dirty faces and clothes from playing outside in yard. Ethan and Caleb were making bunny ears on each other and Suzie was dancing in front of us with a halo of wildflowers Brandon had strewn together to make her look like a princess.

I smiled as I looked at us…we've come a long way…most of us anyway. I mean, here I was, getting ready to get married and go to college, Jeremiah was an amazing daddy to JJ and living a real good life here too, Suzie was the best player on her softball team and got the lead as Sandy in the musical Grease that drama club put on last year…plus she was doing really well in all her classes. Now I hadn't spoken to Ethan or Caleb, but my dad told me that Ethan ran off to Southern Cali with his girlfriend, Selena, and Caleb was still hangin' with the wrong crowd and getting into trouble. And I did actually talk to Brandon a couple times since he got out last month. Him and Jeremiah were real close and shit so it was pretty easy to start talkin' to him again.

I excused myself for a minute so I could go out on the back porch and call him.

"Hello?"

"Hey B, it's Jay…"

"Hey what up, Cuz? Today's the big day, you excited?"

I smiled and pulled out a cigarette, "Yeah, I'm startin' to get a little nervous though…"

He laughed, "Ain't no reason to be nervous, son…from what you and Jeremiah told me, he's a good guy. Ya'll are gonna be happy together and look at you, gonna be a doctor…I'll tell you what, I ain't ever met that boy but after seein' what he's done for you and then his mama and daddy helpin' out Suzie and Jeremiah like they did…it don't sound like you could do no better."

Sighing happily, I smiled, "Yeah, he's pretty perfect and his mama and daddy are so good…I'm really happy. Thanks for the picture, by the way, that's insane how much detail you put into it…it's really good…"

He chuckled again, "Weren't no thang, little Cuz…I didn't have much to do in the joint but work out and draw since I ain't much of a reader…you really think it's good?"

"Yeah, dude, it's amazing."

"Cool. Thanks, man. And, uh, don't be nervous, okay? I wish I could be there, I ain't seen you in forever. Maybe ya'll could come visit me sometime? Like Spring Break or somethin? I'd like to meet this boy that straightened your wild ass out…"

I smiled, "Sure, man, I think we could do that. So, daddy tells me you got a job…"

"Oh yeah, finally, it seems like it took me forever…it ain't nothin' big, just construction but at least it's somethin…I'm hopin' I can get my own place soon…"

We talked for a little while longer and by the time I got off the phone, my nerves were settled. It was just a few minutes now so I went to the bathroom just to take one more look at my hair and shit to make sure my baby boy got the full effect of the fine mother fucker he was marryin'…

I grinned in the mirror…

Yeah, I looked damn good…

The dark charcoal gray of the suit looked good against my skin and the silk baby blue vest and tie made my baby blue eyes pop…I finally understood what Esme meant by that.

Em walked into the bathroom in his suit and tie…he was really pretty cute when he was all dressed up. He clasped a big hand on my shoulder and smiled, "It's about that time, Jay. You ready for this?"

I smiled, "Yeah. Is Eddie here?"

Nodding, he straightened his tie, "Yeah, Brady's with him. I gotta admit, the boy looks good today, Jay."

That was a given…

"Okay, I'm ready. You got my guitar?"

"Yep, it's waiting on the left side of the garden by your entrance…"

The plan was, that he would start walking in on the right side of garden down the little dirt path while I came in from the left and we would meet in the middle…but I had come up with a plan of my own that was way more my style than simply walkin' to my boy…

I took my place on the outer edge of the garden and grabbed my guitar, taking in deep breaths while I waited for my partners in crime to show up. Jeremiah walked up with JJ and Em J in tow, fully decked out in matching little black suits and white vests and ties.

I figured instead of flower girls, we'd have flower boys.

They both had little white wicker baskets that were supposed to be filled with different colored rose petals…but Em J's was filled with Cheerios.

I raised an eyebrow and Jeremiah shrugged, "Sorry, man, he kept tryin' to eat the flowers…"

JJ smiled as he held up his basket filled to the brim, "Don't worry, Uncle Jay, I got this…"

Shaking my head and laughing, I held out my fist, "Thanks for havin' my back, little man…"

He bumped it and grinned, "Uncle Eddie's gonna be so happy…"

I grinned back, "Yeah I think he will be…"

Jeremiah let out a breath and set the boys down. JJ held Em J's hand and he guided the smaller one, "Okay, Em J…you gotta walk with me like a big boy, k?"

Em J offered him a Cheerio. He was a good sharer.

This was gonna be fantastic if we pulled it off.

"Okay, Cuz, everyone's seated and ready to go."

Even though I was sure I already knew the answer, I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Hey, um…did you see my mom anywhere out there?"

Flashing an apologetic smile, he shook his head, "No, man…but it's your weddin' day so don't you let that bitch bring you down today…"

I nodded and let out a breath, "I won't, Cuz…okay…let Brady know I'm ready. I'll wait for the music to start…"

He took off and I waited there with the boys.

Edward was expecting some soft classical music to start playing but I decided that this would be way more fun…

I heard the first few drum beats hit and JJ held Em J's hand as they started walkin' out in front of me, Em J eating Cheerios while JJ tossed petals up in the air. I started strummin' my guitar as I looked over to the other side of the garden to see my baby boy lookin' my way with wide green eyes and a shocked but happy smile on his face.

Then I started singin' as all my close family and friends echoed my words exactly like they were supposed to…singing out loudly and making Edward throw his head back in laughter.

"I…"

_**I**_

"Am…"

_**Am**_

"In…"

_**In**_

"Mmm…deep with you, darlin…"

I continued singin' and playin' the guitar as Em J now started bouncing up and down on his stubby little legs, dancin' as went.

"I…"

_**I**_

"Am…"

_**Am**_

"In…"

_**In**_

"Mmm…deep with you, darlin…"

Everyone was laughing and smiling and I could see Edward's eyes lit up beautifully all the way on the other side of the garden.

The boys danced in front of me and the crowd was bobbin' their heads and tappin' their feet.

Edward had a little bounce in his step as we came a little closer.

I winked at him as I sang, "This moment unlocks door after door…"

As soon as JJ and Em J saw him comin' closer, they both took off runnin…

"Uncle Eddie look at my pretty flowers…"

Edward laughed as he scooped both boys up in his arms, "Are those for me?"

JJ smiled, "Uh huh, Em J tried to eat 'em…"

Em J just offered Edward a Cheerio, "Nummy?"

Edward's grin was gorgeous as he shook his head, "No thank you, baby, you eat it…"

I tried my best not to laugh as I sang and watched my beautiful boy dancing down that dirt path to meet me with those two boys in his arms, bobbing along to the music. By the time I finally walked those last few steps and he walked his, we were standing in the front of the garden under an old white trellis arch covered in rose moss and pretty different colored roses.

Rose ran up and grabbed the boys as she whispered, "Sorry…"

Edward whispered back. "Why? That was awesome…"

She smiled as she took the boys and quickly went back to her seat, in between Jeremiah and Emmett, handing JJ over to sit on his daddy's lap next to her. Alice was on Jeremiah's other side, then Brady, then Suzie. Em J reached for Esme, on the other side of Emmett and Carlisle was next to her. Everyone else was scattered around but we could always count on those guys to be front and center in our lives.

Now without all the distraction, I looked into Eddie's pretty green eyes and sang the last few lines, "I'm in so deep with you, darlin…my love, my love, my love…"

His cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright green as his crooked smile lit up his face. I handed my guitar off to Em and grabbed Eddie's hands, "Fancy meetin' you here…"

He laughed as he threw his arms around my neck and whispered, "I was so scared that I would trip or something, walking down the path…I've been so nervous…but you made me dance…I love you so much, Jay."

Holding him tight I whispered back, "I love you too, Eddie. Ain't nobody here but you and me, darlin…so keep them pretty green eyes on mine and don't be nervous…I've got you. You ready for this, baby boy?"

Pulling back and letting out a breath, he smiled and nodded, "Yes. I'm ready, Love."

God, he looked gorgeous in his black suit and dark green tie and vest. My boy cleaned up like a god damn model…

I really was one lucky mother fucker…

Everyone seated was settling down now and the official we chose got ready to begin. He was a chubby old man with a charming smile and very little hair but he was a good buddy of Peter's and a real nice man.

He gave us a soft smile and nod. With one last deep breath, we nodded back and turned to look at each other.

And everything around me kinda faded once I got lost in those pretty green eyes…all the nervousness melted away and I noticed that he was lookin' at me the same way.

"From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are here today to celebrate the joining of two souls…Edward Anthony Cullen and Jasper Wayne Whitlock…"

He gave us a small smile before he began again, "Now I've lived a very long life and I've seen a lot of things…and I had my reservations about performing this ceremony, having never performed anything like this before…but as a favor to my dear old friend, Peter, I decided to meet these two young men and hear their story…"

"Now like I said, I've been around a long time and I know love when I see it…and in this day and age that simple little word gets thrown around recklessly without most people ever fully realizing what it truly means to love someone…love bears _all _things…believes _all _things…hopes _all _things…endures _all _things…"

"Love _never _ends…"

"And this, my friends, is only the beginning of yet another chapter in the love story these two share and will continue to share forever and ever…let us bear witness to the vows of commitment and devotion they will take before us today…let us remember their beginnings. Their story is simple…two lost souls who were destined to find one another…friends into lovers…but even a simple story has many twists and turns because life has many twists and turns and bumps in the road…the only constant in this crazy life is the bond we share with those we love…it's that bond, that _love_, that binds us together as friends…as family…"

He nodded and motioned that it was time to begin our vows, "Edward…"

Feeling his soft hands tremble in mine, I ran my calloused thumb in small circles over his knuckles and smiled as I whispered, "Wanna ditch this shindig and just run away together?"

Chuckling quietly, his green eyes sparkled as he whispered back, "No…I'm part Whitlock now which means I don't run and I don't hide…"

_Fuck yeah…my baby boy…_

Smiling up at me, he squeezed my hands in his and spoke with confidence, "Jasper, you are my best friend…my one and only love…there is not one good thing I can ever remember learning in life that you are not responsible for…you taught me how to face my fears and how to stand up for myself…you gave me your strength when I felt weak and your courage when I was afraid…you carried me when I couldn't stand on my own but you never stopped encouraging me to get back up on my feet…"

It was takin' every ounce of strength I had to keep from leanin' over and kissin' him…

"There's a poem that reminds me of us…'Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable'…we became friends almost instantly and somewhere along the way all the flickering sparks caught fire…"

His face titled down now as a soft pink blush came to his cheeks, "I never told you this but I was in love with you before you ever confessed it to me. The first time you kissed me was the single most memorable experience of my entire lifetime…I can admit now that about a week after we met I kind of watched you kissing all these different girls and I found myself imagining for the very first time what it would be like to be kissed…but every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was you being on the other end of all those kisses…"

Looking up at me now, a shy smile came to his face as he squeezed my hands, "When you suggested that I practice kissing you, I was terrified that I would be really bad at it and ruin any chances I might have of kissing you again…because really…kissing you is always the most forefront thought on my mind…"

I laughed and he chuckled a little.

I still wanted to kiss him.

"But even more important than teaching me how to kiss or play basketball or throw a decent left hook…you've taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin…how to be proud to be just exactly who I am and that guys like us can afford to be a little cocky…"

He smirked at me as he bright green eyes looked right through me, "There really are no words to express just how deep my love for you is…how hot that fire burns…so let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth…"

_Bible verse…I was gettin' pretty good at recognizing them…_

Letting go of my right hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out my ring. Sliding it on my finger, he looked up at me and smiled, "I place this ring on your finger as a symbol of my constant faith, abiding love, and belief that I was chosen to live my life with you. From this day forward, just like all the days before, I will hold you when you cry and I'll have your back when you hustle people in pool…I'll encourage you to be the real you…the you that sometimes only I know…I will listen when you need to vent and I'll hum Winnie the Pooh to make you laugh…I bring to you the very best person that I can be. So, stay with me, learn with me, live by my side. Forever and ever."

My heart was already pounding in my chest and when he leaned into my ear and whispered, my whole body shuddered…

"It will always be you and me against the world, Jay…I love you."

_Shit, I do not wanna cry…_

So I thought, 'Fuck it…'

Turning my head to the side, I brought my hand to his cheek and took his lips to mine. A small gasp left his lips until they quirked into a smile as he kissed me back. Vaguely, I could hear the giggling and gasps around me but I didn't care.

Edward's lips kept me grounded and I had to do something cuz I felt like I might just float away…

And my self control has never been the greatest…especially when it comes to Eddie.

A moment later I pulled away with my triumphant smile meeting his dreamy one. The officiant just chuckled, "Ah…young love…"

Edward and I both giggled for a minute and I could feel my cheeks heating up but I was ready to get through my vows so I could kiss him again…cuz the next time I kissed him…he'd be my husband.

Now he held my trembling hands as I began my vows.

"Edward, I love you. You're my best friend…when I first met you, I was an angry, bitter little boy who lashed out at the world because I wanted someone to love me…and then you came along and accepted and loved me for just exactly who I was…ya know, I used to daydream about runnin' away with you and keepin' you all to myself but I've come to see how incredibly selfish that would be cuz to keep you locked away from the world is a travesty…you touch so many people's lives…you inspire them to be strong and forgiving and fearless…you inspired me to believe that I was more than just the loser that everyone had written me off to be…you made me wanna be good…"

Unable to resist, I raised my hand and brushed my calloused fingertip underneath his wet eyelid as I cradled his cheek. He let out a breath as he melted into my touch…

"Eddie, you saved me from myself…all the happiness that I know now, is because of you…cuz when my mind races too fast, all it takes is one look into your pretty green eyes and everything else just…stops…nothing matters to me but keepin' a smile on your gorgeous face. All that we've been through and will continue to go through, only reminds us that what we've got is so damn special…no one can touch us, baby…it'll always be you and me against the world. And if I'm a superhero…you're totally my Robin…"

He started laughing as he pulled away and smacked my chest, "I am not Robin, ass…"

Now my eyes filled up with happy tears as I laughed and held my hands up, "Okay, dude, you're not Robin…but still, we could, like, start our own Justice League…"

JJ piped in now as he bounced in his daddy's lap, "Oooh I wanna be Batman, he's the best one…"

And then Brady laughed, "Well, I could totally rock Wonder Woman's red boots…"

He held out a fist to JJ and they bumped as everyone laughed.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Edward chuckled, "Oh my God, I'm marrying a geek…"

I grabbed his hand and leaned in close as I whispered, "Shh, now darlin'…everyone else thinks I'm really cool…only you know that I'm really a total dork…"

I held his left hand as I took the ring from my pocket and felt all the air leave my lungs again. I closed my eyes and tried to reign in my nerves but then I felt his soft fingertips brushing the curls behind my ear, "Breathe, Jay…"

And just like that, I could breathe again.

My eyes opened and got lost in his as I spoke quietly, "Eddie, what could I possibly say to you that you don't already know? You know how I feel about you…you know that I could never love anybody the way I love you…you know that I meant it when I told you that it would always be your hand in my hand…forever and ever. So, I place this ring on your finger as a symbol of my constant faith, abiding love, and belief that I was chosen to live my life with you. From this day forward, just like all the days before, I will dance with you in the rain and play with you in the snow…I will sing with you in the kitchen and keep you awake at night talking in my sleep about sex and hot wings. And you will never ever be lonely again, baby, cuz I will be your faithful companion forever and ever."

Leaning into his ear, I whispered a quote from that brilliant fluffy bear, "If you live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day so that I never have to live without you. I love you, Eddie."

He threw his arms around me, laughing as he whispered, "I know you do, Jay. I love you too."

And everyone was just gonna have to wait a minute for me to hug my boy…

Eventually we parted and looked at each other with red eyes and matching grins.

The official spoke again, "Your journey began with a kiss and now a kiss will begin the next chapter of your lives together, united as one, partners for life…"

I chuckled and leaned into Edward whispering, "Partners in crime…"

He smirked as he gave me a fist bump, "Hell yeah…"

I took his face in my hands as his wrapped around my back, "C'mere, baby boy…"

And we kissed for the very first time as husbands…and it was fuckin' awesome.

When we finally parted everybody was hootin' and hollerin' and Eddie and I were both grinning so big that our faces would surely hurt later on…but there wasn't a thing in the world that could take that grin away today.

And the next few minutes were spent in a daze as people congratulated us and the reception began. We kept it all very simple and did just kind of a backyard barbecue. Jeremiah was responsible for the food and he still gotta chance to try a few fancy side dishes to go along with hamburgers, hot dogs, and ribs.

There were some tables scattered around with candles and wildflowers, even some honeysuckle. My hand had never left Edward's as we gripped each other for dear life while we walked around and talked to people.

Soon, it was time for us to cut the cake and Jeremiah outdid his self. The cake was two tier and for the topper, it was a little kid Pooh and Tigger figurine. And the little Tigger was pouncing on the baby Pooh as their noses touched…

But then on the bottom tier were the words, "Congratulations, Pierre and Pedro."

Edward gasped and looked at Brady, "You told Jeremiah?"

Brady turned red and shook his head, "No, um…I told Suzie…"

Now Suzie smiled sheepishly, "And I told Jeremiah…and Alice…"

It was Alice's turn and she rolled her eyes, "I told Rose and we all know that Rose told Em…"

Emmett broke out into laughter, "Yeah, dude, that's some of the funniest shit I've ever heard…"

I couldn't help but start laughing and Edward grinned as he just shook his head, "My friends are all loud mouthed perverts…"

Alice giggled as she nudged Eddie in the ribs, "That's why we all get along so well…and that's why you love us all so much…"

His cheeks were bright red as he relented with a grin, "Yeah, I do…"

Everybody ate and just talked for awhile and before I knew what hit me, I was having one of those moments where my mouth was movin' but my mind was somewhere else completely…

A few minutes later, Eddie was draggin' me around to the front of the house. He sat down on the porch with his feet dangling off the ledge as he looked up at me with wide eyes, "What's up, Jay? Your mind is a million miles away right now…"

I took a deep breath and when I released it, I just sat down beside him and started rambling, "Do you think I'm gonna be a good husband? I was a good boyfriend, right? I mean, I know I'm kind of a dick sometimes but over all, I'm pretty good, yeah? I just…holy shit, dude, we're married…"

He looked at me in amusement as the corner of his mouth quirked up into that perfect crooked grin, "We are. Are you already having regrets?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled back, "Fuck no, babe…I guess I've just been dreamin' of this day for so damn long that it's hard to believe it's really here…"

Grinning, he pulled my cigarettes from his pocket and handed them to me, "Here, I grabbed them from Jeremiah…you look like you're jonesing…"

Pulling a packet of honey from my pocket, I exchanged with him and we sat there, me smoking and him sucking on that packet of honey.

I wrapped my free arm around his shoulder and he leaned into me, sighing happily.

"Hey Jay?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Our sex life won't go to hell now that we're married, will it?"

I smiled as I looked down at the prettiest boy I ever seen, "Are you kiddin' me babe? I'm gonna pretty much be nailin' you every chance I get…"

And I'll be damned if that sexy mother fucker didn't crawl right over and straddle my lap. My hands grabbed onto that tight little ass as his hands tangled in my curls, "You promise, Jay?"

Pushing up into him, I pulled his hips into mine as I whispered, "I fuckin' swear, Eddie."

His lips crashed to mine and things were getting pretty hot when I heard Carlisle's voice, "I should've known…I swear you two are like rabbits…"

I jumped to my feet…only problem was that Edward just tightened his legs around my waist and came with me.

I held him for a second before I whispered, "Put your feet down, Eddie…"

Flames shot to his cheeks as he mumbled, "Oh, right…"

Slowly, he dropped his feet to the ground and laughed, "Sorry, dad."

Carlisle just smiled, "I should scold you for sneaking off from your own reception to make out on the front porch…"

Esme walked up and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Oh hush, dear, we didn't even make it out of the parking lot at the City-County Building, remember? Like father, like son apparently…"

Carlisle grinned as he looked off in the distance, obviously remembering, "Ah, yes, we got cited for indecent exp…"

She interrupted him with a nudge to the ribs, "Anyway, it's time for your first dance, boys…"

After the smoke and some lovin' from my man, my nerves were feelin' much better.

Eddie and I held hands as we walked around to the back of the house and to the open patch of grass deemed the dance floor. We danced to 'Tangled Up In You' and the words rang very true.

Everybody else started dancing on the next song and it was hilarious to watch as the songs rolled by and the partners changed…

We danced with all our girls and Brady…hell, me and Eddie even sandwiched him at one point. And I laughed my ass off when Carlisle danced with Edward.

Then when he asked me to dance, we had a little battle for who got to lead but I finally relented cuz he _was _Big Daddy C, after all…

And then I hugged him when I realized he really was my daddy now…

Em J and JJ joined us on the dance floor…grass…whatever, and the boys were having a blast being handed around to everybody.

Then as the nighttime began to settle, the boys and Janey's little girl, Gracie, started chasin' fireflies while the grown ups just hung out, had a few beers, and chilled.

And I giggle to myself as I realize I've just thought of me, Eddie, and our friends as the grown ups…

Carlisle was okay with us drinkin' a little since we were gonna be takin' a limo to the hotel…and really, after our wild ass bachelor party, there wasn't much he could say…

After coppin' a sweet little buzz, I pulled out my guitar and sang a couple country love songs for Eddie and then he talked me into playin' "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down _again _cuz that's one of his favorite songs I ever sang him…

Things started winding down and people started leaving until it was just the family left. We talked about our plans for school and our futures until we saw that limo comin' down the old dirt road to pick us up.

Em and Jeremiah took care of our luggage while all the women, and Brady, fussed over us with hugs and kisses and plenty of happy tears.

It seemed like it took us forever to say good bye but then Eddie was yankin' me into the limo as he laughed, "We'll see them in three weeks, Jay, so get your ass in here…"

Finally, the door closed and the limo pulled off as I let out a big breath, "Wow, baby, that was per…"

But I was cut off by scarlet lips and my beautiful husband straddling my lap in the wide seat. He swallowed my moan as my hands went to his ass and his began pushing my jacket off my shoulders.

I shrugged out of it as his fingers loosened my tie and made quick work of the buttons on my shirt and vest. Once my mind caught up to him, I was workin' on the buttons of his shit as fast as I could cuz suddenly, I couldn't get the boy naked fast enough.

I got his jacket off and his tie loose but only a few buttons of his shirt before he got my shirt open and started sliding down my body, kissing and sucking and biting as he went. I groaned as my back arched when he nipped at my nipple before swirling that fuck awesome tongue around it.

My hands tangled in his hair as he descended lower and lower until he was on his knees on the floor in front of me, eagerly yanking my slacks down over my hips. I lifted them and when he finally got them over my cock, he paused and whispered, "Holy shit…"

Then he pulled out his phone and sent a text message.

I was a little frustrated so I whined, "What the hell are you doin, Eddie?"

He grinned up at me, "Just sent a quick 'thanks' to Brady…he sent back this…"

Holding up his phone I saw a smiley face with it's tongue sticking out and I started laughing, "That fucker promised me rapture for wearin' these damn things so put away the phone and get to suckin'…please…"

He threw down the phone and laughed as he teased my thighs and stomach with little licks and nips, "Bossy, bossy…but that's okay, Jay…because I'm fucking you tonight."

I loved cocky forceful Edward…

My cock twitched as his lips wrapped around it through the mesh material and his tongue lapping at the sticky tip before slowly peeling them off. Soon, I was completely naked and his shirt and vest were unbuttoned as he took my dick down his throat with a warm wet moan.

He gave it to me just the way I liked it…sloppy and wet with lots of moaning and rubbing it all over his face…I fuckin' loved how dirty my boy was…

And he knew the number one rule for givin' bomb ass head…_enjoy _suckin' it…cuz that's what always made it so fuckin' good was that I could tell he wanted to do it as bad as I wanted it done.

All the while, I felt his fingers inside me as he prepared to fuck me.

It didn't take long until I was moanin' out his name as I came against his parted lips and watched him lick the sticky mess like it was the best damn thing he ever tasted.

As I was recovering from my high, he was pulling out a stash of baby wipes in door of the limo and cleaning his face. I grinned as he pulled out some lube, "You're a damn fine soldier, Edward…always prepared and shit…"

He grinned back as he yanked his pants down to his knees and started rubbing lube on his pretty cock, "You taught me well, Obi Wan…"

I laid back onto the seat as he crawled up on it and in between my legs, "Hey that reminds me…did you pack the pink light saber?"

Chuckling as he leaned over and positioned himself at my entrance, he smiled, "Yes, Jay…I also packed the cuffs, the geeky glasses, the paddle and the blindfold…you ready for me, Love?"

Wrapping my arms around him, I leaned up and kissed his soft lips, "I'm always ready for you, baby…"

Slowly pushing himself inside me, the pain and the pleasure shot through me as I gripped his shoulders and pulled his lips to mine.

A few strokes later and the pain gave way to mind-numbing pleasure as he pounded me into the seat and killed my fuckin' sweet spot over and over…

He was moaning into my mouth and mumbling against my lips as his hips became erratic, "God, I've been…waiting all damn day…for this…_oh, fuck_…love you, Jay…fucking love you so much…"

I returned his moans and sentiment as I grabbed his ass tried to pull him even further into me.

Moments later his head dropped to my shoulder and his lips trembled against my neck as I felt his cumming hard deep inside me.

I was hard as fuck again and wasted no time, in fear that he would be passed out in seconds if I didn't react fast.

So the minute he pulled out, I was on my knees, pulling him up on my thighs and switching our position so that he was pressed into the back of the seat with his legs wrapped around me.

He gasped but held on as he panted for air and soon I was dragging his slacks down legs and dropping everything to the floor…except his shirt and tie stayed on, just unbuttoned as I grabbed the lube and got us both ready.

When I finally began pushing my dick inside that hot little ass of his, I was a goner as I fucked him hard and relentless against that seat. He cried out my name as he fisted damp curls and I gripped his ass hard as I pulled him down onto me while I thrusted up inside him.

I knew what my boy liked…and he liked to be fucked hard and rough…so that's what I did…biting on his neck and surely leaving finger sized bruises on that pretty porcelain ass.

And when I was gettin' close, I switched positions to hold myself off as long as possible. First, I pulled out and grabbed a handful of that damp bronze hair and growled as I pushed him down, "On your fuckin' hands and knees, Eddie…"

He smiled dazily as he complied, wiggling that perfect ass at me while he looked over his shoulder with that "come fuck me" smile I knew and fuckin' loved.

I smacked his ass and smiled while I coated my cock with some more lube, "You're askin' for it, baby…"

He laughed breathless as he wiggled his ass again, "I'm begging for it, Jay…fuck me, baby…fuck me hard…"

Never one to say no to my boy, I grabbed his hips and pushed inside him, always slow at first until he began pushing back into me and I knew he was ready to get exactly what he wanted.

I fucked him hard, pulling him back as I slammed forward and he screamed my fuckin' name as I pounded into him for all I was worth.

I spread his knees wide apart and grabbed the back of the seat with one hand and his shoulder with the other as I pressed him into the seat with long, deep strokes until I was seein' fuckin' stars…

I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him up with me so that I could start jerkin' his pretty, hard cock while I came deep inside his hot tight ass.

The feel of him clenching around me helped me ride out my orgasm as he came in long white spurts across the leather seat.

Then we heard a voice over the intercom, "We're at the hotel, sirs…"

We looked at each other with wide eyes before I grabbed his phone and looked at the time, "Holy shit, dude, we've been fuckin' for two hours!"

Edward pressed the intercom button and giggled, "Um…could you maybe drive around the block a couple times, please sir?"

"Of course, sir."

We were both laughing as we tried to speed dress and get cleaned up as much as possible until we were finally walking into the hotel.

Apparently we didn't fool anyone cuz the nice young lady who checked us in, smirked at our obvious freshly fucked appearances, "Long drive here?"

Eddie blushed and I smiled, "Not long enough…"

After we got settled into our room, we took a long hot shower together and loved one each other some more before finally falling into the big, comfy bed. Edward grabbed the package we received from Carlisle and Esme, "Are you ready to finally see where we're going on our honeymoon?"

We opened the box to find plane tickets to Italy, Paris, and Amsterdam, travelers checks, hotel reservations, and car rental information.

There was a letter that we eagerly opened and Eddie read aloud.

"To our sons, we love you both more than you'll ever know. From the beginning of our lives together, we prayed for a family and one by one our family grew. Today we watched as our grandchildren played and it was you two that brought them all into our lives. We are blessed to call you our children and proud to watch you begin your lives together on a new journey. Take with you, all of the lessons you have learned and remember this…we are with you always and our love for you will never end.

Love, Mom and Dad

P.S. Your mother doesn't know I'm writing this but I wanted to say a few things…first, I didn't tell her that I bought the tickets to Amsterdam so if you wouldn't say anything until you came back, I would appreciate that. I went once in college and highly recommend The Grey Area…you only live once so why not experience all the world has to offer.

Second, a few words of wisdom from your old man…don't take life too seriously because none of us make it out alive anyway.

Laughter is the best medicine.

Pick and choose your battles and don't sweat the small stuff.

Have fun on your vacation because when you come home, real life continues again and we all know how crazy real life can be.

I love you boys.

P.S.S. When you do finally mention Amsterdam to your mother, maybe you could throw in that you visited the Van Gogh museum and the Anne Frank house so that she sees the educational experiences you gained from the trip…oh, and you really should go see them, they're quite moving. Love you."

I laughed, "Fuck, man, I love your mom and dad."

He smiled, "They're your mom and dad now too, Jay."

And he was right. I had a mom, two dads, a grandpa, lots of brothers and sisters, and even a couple nephews…cuz Edward told me once that family wasn't made of flesh and blood but of heart and soul.

So, finally after a long night of love making with my beautiful husband, he lay there sleeping in my arms as I curled myself around him and couldn't wait until morning when the next chapter of our journey began.

I've learned a lot of things in my life but it all comes down to this…

Life ain't easy and life ain't fair…but sometimes it's really fuckin beautiful…

And true love stories…never end.

**A/N: Holy shit, we made it! I really have to thank you all for sticking with this story for the better part of two years…through all the twists and turns and fluff, I think the boys are finally on top of that mountain again. I hope you guys enjoyed them because I have just had the most fun writing them. I am still planning a sequel that will begin at the end of their college careers and begin with their adult lives. **

**I'm gonna try and wrap up DnC and get a chapter or two ahead for MC…I've also been thinking about turning DDDT into a short story so give me a month or two for the sequel to begin. Also, I am still working on outtakes so there will be plenty of those. Let me know if you wanna see anything specific…oh, and there will be an outtake of their bachelor party because I'm a perv and can't resist the thought of Carlisle, Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Jeremiah, and Brady at a gay bar. Again, thank you for coming along for the ride and I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Oh and if you wanna see a pic of the cake topper and kinda what I pictured the garden scene to look like, take a look on my Facebook…**


	53. Author's Note

Hello there! So, I've had several people ask me if I could put this story into a pdf form for them or if they could print it out…so the answer to both of those questions is yes. I have put the story up on the Issuu website where you can read it in book form, download, or print it. Of course, it's absolutely free, so no worries there. I did have to break it into two parts cuz seriously, it's close to 1000 pages. The links are on my profile page.

Holy fuck, I wrote almost 1000 pages for this story and still wanna write more. I love these boys and all the characters so thank you for enjoying them with me and hopefully you'll still love them in the sequel and outtakes.

The first outtake should be up in the next few days and it was a request from my girl Roxanne on FB. She wanted to see Jeremiah's POV of when Jay was sleep talking about Eddie and he figured out that his little cousin was gay.

Of course, Jeremiah is a talkative son of a bitch so there are also some musings on his life and shit…

Anyway, I love you guys so much and appreciate you all sticking with me.

Again, the links will be on my profile page…and let me know if you find any errors cuz I tried to make it look all nice and shit. Oh, and I added a Table of Contents and deleted the A/N's but kept the music playlists so hopefully it will look nice and neat.

Thanks!


	54. Chapter 54

*****IMPORTANT A/N PLEASE READ*****

**As many of you know FF no longer allows mature stories on their site. They've recently decided to delete and no longer allow the good stuff like graphic sex (which is why most of us began looking for Twilight FF anyway cuz if we wanted 'fade-to-black and torn up pillows we would've just reread Twilight)…**

**Anyway, due to this recent fuckery I will be moving my stories from FanFiction. Well, I'll actually be removing all but the first chapters and any updates on currents stories will be links to my new homes.**

**I'm moving to The Writer's Coffee Shop and An Archive of Our Own. The links are on my profile. That being said, I'm not happy about it. I love FF and would gladly stay here but after seeing several friends lose their profile, I just gotta go. **

**I will be continuing my Lessons Learned companion story, The Thing About Falling on the other sites. And in a few months, I will be starting the LL sequel. I'll drop an update here to let you guys know when that happens.**

**I wanna thank you guys from the very bottom of my heart for sticking with me for the last three years, some who followed me from my het days, four years…I really hope you follow me as I venture off to another site cuz I'm nowhere near done writing yet. **

**If you have any questions, feel free to pm me. Don't forget, links to my FB, Twitter, and other sites are on my profile as well as link to the PDF's of LL. I'm still under the name mistyhaze420 on both sites.**

**Oh and I created a little teaser banner for the sequel if you're interested. The link is on my profile.**

**I love you guys. **

**Peace out ****J**

**Misty**


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